Another Crunchy Mama

Life Updates as of July 2011

2011-07-28T16:07:00.000-07:00

Well, I haven't blogged in a while. The main reason has been my little man and his great desire to explore. But here it goes with what we are up to at this point...

In May, Don, Jaxon and I all flew to Lynchburg for Don to interview at Orthopaedic Center of Central Virginia and Liberty University. This was definitely a God thing. About a week and half prior, we had no idea where we were moving and had no job...we were just going to be without a home come June 30th. After a few telephone calls and many many prayers, Don received two job offers in the same day! So we were planning to move to Lynchburg!! Crazy how I said I would never move back here while I went to school in Lynchburg. God really has a sense of humor...

In June, I packed and I packed and I packed!! The whole time, Jaxon unpacked and untaped boxes while I tried to put stuff in them. I would not recommend moving with a young toddler. They can make the process quite a bit longer. We also took some time to visit a few places in the city and see a few friends. Had a great night eating dinner at X2O with Patrick and Cheryl. Fabulous dinner and wonderful company (thought I would send a shout out if you are reading this)!! Jaxon also decided he would take his first steps this month. At 8 months old, I have a (sort of) walking baby - crazy!! At the end of the month, we packed up another U-haul for another move. We moved to "Downtown" Lynchburg into a building built in the 1800's. Pretty cool building. I will post pictures once we have a few less boxes taking up space.

Then just as quickly as June came and went, July was here. Off we went again. Jaxon and I left our house in boxes and went to Knoxville for 2 weeks. Spent some time with family and friends. I also have to add that it was extremely hot, so we spent a lot of time in the house. Right at the end of this trip, Jaxon decided he would get Roseola. Not fun!!! He had a fever ranging from 101-104 for about 5 days. Then the fever completely stopped one day just to discover a full body dotted little rash. He was one irritable little guy for the ride home. We spent one week here and then left for Durham. While Don was busy in a conference for 2 days, I spent time with great old friends that I haven't seen in a very long time. Great lunch with Kelly, seeing all my co-workers from Duke; and of course, the time spent with the Hambricks.

Well that is all for now. Stay tuned for more important announcements from this broadcasting family...

Make it Pretty

2011-04-18T05:32:00.000-07:00

Well, since no one responded to my Earth Day post; I am going to write another! Earth Day is this coming Friday. It doesn't matter is you believe that the polar ice caps are melting or if you believe that Al Gore is a quack. It doesn't matter if you drive a Toyota Prius or a Ford F-350 extended cab truck. The fact is, we can all make our planet a little cleaner and a little prettier just by implementing a few changes in our routines.

The fact is that we humans make a smaller carbon footprint than cows. Cows emit a damaging and startling amount of methane gas which will probably cause our children to need SPF 1000 and our ozone layer to be a doily of decoration.

So here is what I propose: make some change by reusing an old object, repurpose something bound for the trash, recycle an old article of clothing into something trendy, reduce the amount of paper and plastic in your household or simply just change your habits. Some examples would be to use cloth diapers or go diaper free for a short while each day to reduce the amount of disposable diapers in landfills. Reduce the amount of plastic you use to pack your child's lunch. Have your kids create recycling bins that they can collect recyclables in and get money for. Walk, ride your bike or ride public transit to work while the weather is warm enough to walk but cool enough to tolerate. All those old flannel baby blankets, turn them into cleaning rags. Change your cleaning products out for more eco friendly solutions.

There are so many different things that you can do for Earth Day. Brainstorm with your kids to come up with ideas that they are excited to help with. Let me know your ideas. Sharing may spur some others with changes that they can make!!

Happy Earth Day 2011!!!

The Earth Day Upcycle

2011-04-15T15:00:00.000-07:00

Well, this blog has a two part purpose. The first is, of course, our responsibility to be good stewards of what has been given to us...ie: the earth. The second is our entry to win this giveaway.

I decided to upcycle something that would help us in the big picture of our EC journey. Since we are trying to not use as many diapers, I thought this would be the perfect project. Instead of purchasing new training pants for Jaxon, I decided to turn his old prefolds into new training pants. Now, as I don't have these skills myself; I enlisted a great Etsy store owner for help. Here is our project in picture form:

So our journey of EC continues to be healthier for Jaxon and the earth as we continue to reduce our water usage for diaper washing and our product usage to make diapers. I helped out the small business model by employing a SAHM for this project. I also got some really cool looking cloth training pants out of it. I would have loved to have made them myself, but my skills are just not there yet.

So now I challenge you, what is your project going to be for Earth Day? Get your kids involved and recycle/upcycle/plant/reuse for a good cause! Pay it forward and do something for a cause that makes the earth a prettier place!!

Happy Half Birthday

2011-04-08T05:11:00.000-07:00

Jaxon is officially half way through his first year of life. It is crazy to think how quickly it has gone. We are so truly gracious to have been blessed with such a wonderful baby. No, he is not perfect by any stretch of the means; but he definitely is a great little dude to have around!! Here is where we were to where we are now:

Happy Half Birthday!!! I love you, little man!!

The Journey Continues

2011-03-21T21:02:00.000-07:00

Here is where we are in our diaper free world. We have made some great progress. Jaxon's signals have changed so much from when we first started our journey. He now gets quite fussy and audible when he needs to pee or poo. He will get very squirmy when being held and not be consolable if he is playing on the floor by himself. It is so nice to understand almost all of his cries and fussiness. I can meet his needs so much quicker which increases our relationship exponentially.

I don't like to focus on catches and misses, but he has been doing exceptionally well the past couple of weeks. We had a rough few weeks during his and my sicknesses. Needless to say, we weren't communicating very well. As he started to get better, our communication picked right back up. He has not had a poo diaper (minus one because I didn't get out of bed in time) in about 2 weeks!! I still probably miss about 30% of his pees. Sometimes those misses are a small tinkle before he makes it to the bathroom.

A few funny things that have happened include:

I wouldn't consider this incident a true "miss", but we didn't quite hit the toilet. He woke up one morning and was quite squirmy. I got him undressed and headed for the bathroom. We got just inside the bathroom door and started to position for the toilet seat when he poo'd all over the bathroom floor. Mind you, he was in my arms...so this was quite a distance from the floor. Yeah, we had high velocity splatter! I don't think I was quick enough on the draw for him that morning.

Another thing is his noticeable excitement for pooing. I make a "psss" noise when he pees and say "poo" when he poos. He has a little grunt for poo, waits for me to say "poo" then smiles and laughs at what he has done. It is really cute and I can't help but laugh.

Our journey is good! We have some upcoming new things like more teething and creeping and crawling have commenced! We will see what new excitement this brings!

My Little Joey

2011-03-15T21:39:00.000-07:00

My first topic of choice is babywearing. Babywearing is the practice of wearing or carrying a child in sling, wrap or other form of carrier. It is a practice that has been done for centuries in cultures around the globe, but has really only become popular in our society more recently. Advocates such as Dr. Sears have brought the practice into everyday living here in America. It is widely popular among attachment parenting folks.

I love babywearing. We started early with traditional babywearing known as kangaroo care. It is named this after, well, kangaroos or marsupials. The little joeys are born "premature", and rely on being carried in their mother's pouch for care and survival.

We continue to babywear with wraps and soft structure carriers. I prefer wraps for the versatility that they provide. Don prefers the soft structure carrier so that he looks more "manly". My next plan is to get a mei tai, though. It promotes an amazing amount of bonding. You can read much more about babywearing here or here. You can also learn how to use many of the wraps here.

Some of the great benefits that I have personally found include: increased breastfeeding on demand, freedom of having both hands to get tasks accomplished, less crying and irritability because I am able to answer needs quicker, ease of communication between Jaxon and I (especially helpful with EC), more mobility and less fret of stairs that comes with having a stroller, increased socialization of Jaxon because he is face to face with everything that I do, strengthened core muscles without having to stress about tummy time, and a good way to keep warm!!

Don't take my word for it. I encourage anyone to spend some time babywearing. I think you will quickly be sold!

What are your babywearing experiences? What are you favorite carrier or wraps? Any pictures?

Point of a Blog

2011-03-11T15:38:00.000-08:00

So there are thousands of blogs out on the internet now. There is a blog for just about anything that you can think of. If you want to read something that you are pro, that you are con, that you care nothing about, that slightly interests you or that you feel passionately about...it is out there.

That being said, I am adding to the mix. I am adding to the mix mostly for my own benefit. It gives me something to do. It gives me a place to put my crazy thoughts. If people read it, that is great. If people choose not to read it, that is also fine. This is a virtual public diary. No old book underneath my mattress, no lock and key...just a public site to air my dirty laundry. So I am sort of defining my blog right now (although the definition is subject to change).

I have written about an abundance of things between this blog and our old blog site (that I closed a while back). I have written family updates, my thoughts on parenting, random thoughts about public event and so on.

I have a few blogs that I want to write. These blogs will definitely define my parenting style even more so. My point is not to offend or even tell anyone how to parent (which I really hope you wouldn't listen to me). My point is to talk about some of the things that work for us, why they work, how we do them, and why I like them. I truly welcome feedback, questions and thoughts from anyone whether they be for or against the topic at hand. That being said, I don't appreciate maliciousness (from anyone). I know everyone has a thought on parenting, and we should all be open to listening.

After having many conversations with our pediatrician, fellow colleagues, friends, other mothers and even relatives...I have determined that I am a countercultural mama. I am okay with that definition. There are people far more crunchy than I and people far more mainstream than I. I don't think you are wrong in what you do, hoping that you are doing the best that you can with what you know and what is working for your family. That is all I am trying to do.

All of that being said, my post will be of a more crunchy and natural nature. Some of you may agree, disagree or not give a hoot. The only thing I ask is that it not turn into a malicious debate between anyone!! I do not intent to offend people with my thinking; but it may happen because I can't please all. So stand by (all my crazy "fans" {a very small amount of people, I'm sure}) for upcoming posts that are now clogging my head...

Have You Got It...Have You Got The Fever

2011-03-01T21:16:00.000-08:00

Now I am sure that there are many, many Bieber crazed girls out there that are now very disappointed to find out he has a girlfriend. Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez have officially "come out" with their "relationship." This is such a sad moment for his fans who were really hoping that they would be THE ONE!!

Okay, so I don't really have the Bieber Fever as that would be quite creepy, seeing that he is 17. I do remember having another kind of crazy crush when I was much, much younger. It was for New Kids on the Block. Yeah, some of you remember this time. The late 80's and early 90's brought about the NKOTB boy band craze! I have a class picture from school in which I am wearing a NKOTB sweater with the letters written in neon colors! I had tapes and posters and even framed portraits! Yeah, I was in love!!!

That crush got greatly destroyed when NKOTB performed in Time Square for New Year's Eve with Backstreet Boys this past year. So sad.

So NKOTB moved on and I never married Joey, Jordan, Jon, Danny or even Donnie. Oh well!

So what was your big crush growing up?

To Vaccinate or Not: That is the Question

2011-02-27T20:06:00.000-08:00

Tuesday's decision by the Supreme Court in the case Bruesewitz v. Wyeth has caused quite a stir among many parents pro and con vaccines. The current federal law states that vaccine makers cannot be sued for "side effects that were unavoidable even though the vaccine was properly prepared and was accompanied by proper directions and warnings." The court voted 6 to 2 in favor of the vaccine maker. Read the specifics of this case here.

Whatever your take on vaccines may be, the fact that the maker cannot be held liable in lawsuits is crazy. I personally do not agree with a mass immunization schedule that is currently promoted by the CDC and AAP. This doesn't make sense to me because not every kid is alike and not every family history is the same. Our country currently allows for this type of thinking, but with more rulings like the one above, this may soon be taken away. The CDC and AAP both desire mandatory vaccinating of the American population. I am not sure that I desire my child's health to be left in the hands of the government and the CDC who all have their hands in the same piggy bank as the vaccine manufacturers.

You may not agree with me on this fact, and that is all good. If you just aren't sure which direction to go, do the research for yourself. Here is a great blog "blueprinting" both sides. Her blog does slightly lean to one side, but it does cover both arguments. Do your research and be educated about your child's health. You have way more invested in your child than the American government does. You have his or her best interest in mind.

On the Job Training

2011-02-26T08:16:00.000-08:00

This has been a week of firsts in a lot of ways for me. It has been a wonderful week and it has been a ROUGH week!

Parenting is on the job training. You don't get a trial run at it (like many other things in life). No matter what parenting philosophy or lack of philosophy that you follow, no matter how many books you did or did not read, and no matter how much good or bad of a job you think you are doing rearing your children...there is always room for improvement. Sometimes that learning process is through happy times and sometimes it comes about by mistakes.

For my learning curve this week, I learned that just because Jaxon performs well for national television on Monday morning doesn't mean he is going to remain in that same jovial mood for the entire week. Maybe I should have the GMA crew here more often. They seemed to put him in a trance.

I learned that even when mama is sick, Jaxon still wants to be entertained 24/7 (during the awake hours which don't always coincide with mine).

I learned that he somehow senses that I am sick and starts to give me true cuddles along with reaching for me to "pep" me up for the upcoming playtime.

I learned that once he starts learning a new task, he doesn't want to give up until it's conquered (ie: crawling and sitting) for anything that I may have in mind!

I learned that because of the last above said statement, you don't place and undiapered child on your lap until you are really ready to pay attention to his potty signals because he has been holding his potty trying to master his new skills.

I learned that mommy better be ready when increasing diaper free time and decreasing misses!

But most importantly, I learned that even though I am sick and thought that I wanted a "break"; I really didn't. I thought I wanted Don to take him and comfort/play with him while I sat on the couch and rested. Instead, I really just sat there watching him and waiting for him to come back to mommy to eat so I could snuggle. It's true...I'm a sucker for his cute little chubby cheeks and big "I'm happy and full" grin that I get when he eats now!

It's a tough job, but somebody's gotta do it!!

Diaper Freedom!!!

2011-02-22T12:12:00.000-08:00

We just had an interview for Good Morning America yesterday. Don, Jaxon and I along with Melinda Rothstein (founder of DiaperFreeBaby.org) all will be featured on a segment by GMA concerning potty learning. The segment is due to air on Wednesday, Feb 23.

While doing the interview, some interesting questions were brought up by the interviewer. I want to clarify the many reason why I think this is a wonderful process. I also want to share this process with the many many moms who have children young enough to go through the process, but may have never heard about it.

Reasons:

1. Communication: I think that communication with babies is very important to help in the bonding and attachment relationship. That communication can seem difficult sometimes when we are not keenly aware of their signals. I'm going to tell you a little secret....babies are not verbal. Since I have let you all in on that little detail, now we can look at different ways of communication. When babies need to eat, they root and smack their lips. When babies are tired, they rub their eyes and get fussy. When babies need to be close, they reach out to us. So the same is for elimination patterns. When babies need to pee or poo, they communicate to use by using signals. Some of these signals may include fussiness, squirming, a pause in what they are doing, or coming on and off the breast. These are all ways that babies inform us of their need to eliminate prior to actually doing the deed. My job is to communicate back. I can do this by ignoring their signals and letting them eliminate in a diaper on themselves. Or, I can do this by taking them to the proper receptacle to eliminate. I am then communicating that it is okay to eliminate, and you won't be doing it on yourself. This type of communication increases the bond between baby and caregiver. It increases the amount of trust the baby has in us as caregivers to meet their needs which will in turn decrease their stress level.

2. Natural instinct: Babies are born with a natural instinct or desire to eliminate somewhere other than on themselves. This is why the newborn baby cries after he pees or poos. This is why when you take that diaper off, newborns will pee. They don't want to sit in their pee or poo no more than any adult desires to. After time, this instinct will start to dissolve because we train them that eliminating on themselves is normal by keeping them in diapers all of the time. Why not allow them to keep this instinct by placing them on a potty instead?

3. Time Consuming: When I first heard of DFB or EC, I thought about how my time was already going to be so limited. Why would I want to add more stuff to the crazy life of taking care of a new baby. Well, I quickly learned that it takes much longer for me to change a diaper on a baby who thinks diapers are the most evil thing ever invented than it does to take him to the potty. This has become part of our normal routine throughout the day. Contrary to what you may think, I don't spend hours a day hovering over a toilet.

4. Health: The idea of a urinary tract infection causes shivers up my body. I hate to suffer from a UTI. It is very uncomfortable. Now throw a UTI on a nonverbal baby. I don't even want to imagine the horror. By removing the wet diaper, I now reduce the chance of a UTI. That simple. I also reduce the chance of getting a diaper rash. I have seen some pretty bad diaper rashes in my work days. I would have no desire to have those scaly, itching, burning red bumps on my butt, would you....so why risk my son's bottom.

5. Environment: The less that I use diapers (disposable or cloth) the better for the environment...that simple.

6. Struggle: Traditional potty learning can bring many bad thoughts into the minds of parents who have already been there and done that. This is a process that shouldn't bring about torture for the parent or child. I want my son to have a gentle experience. I shouldn't have to force him to do anything, much less something that is a natural instinct for humans. Although potty learning is not the ultimate goal with EC, it is a side effect of it. Side effects of my parenting should be just as gentle as the parenting itself.

These are my musing as to why I truly believe that Elimination Communication is a wonderful process by which I can increase the attachment bond between Jaxon and I. We have reached a comfortable level of understanding by increasing our communication with one another.

4 Months

2011-02-07T15:34:00.000-08:00

I can't believe that Jaxon has already been with us for 4 months. It is crazy how quickly time is flying by.

He is becoming such a busy little beaver. We just got back from Boston, which was his second road trip. He has already taken an airplane trip, also. He got to go swimming for the first time this past weekend. He has gotten to meet many internationally renown strength and conditioning specialists. Pretty cool first 4 months!!

We've entered into the world of full time elimination communication. He is doing very well. He pees and poos in the sink and big toilet. He has gone in his little potty, but doesn't like it because the seat is too cold!!! He's gone in public restrooms as well while we were traveling. He will take some naps where he wakes up completely dry. We've had days where he refuses to pee anywhere but in the diaper, and days when he screams when I put his diapers on. He spends a lot of time naked. He has taken a few naps while being completely naked, and he didn't pee at all!! It has been fun to figure out his pottying cues! It is fun to watch him watch himself in the mirror while he pees. He gets really excited for himself!!

I have no idea how big he is right now. We haven't been to the pediatrician since early December. We do have an appointment coming up. I will update on his weight and height at that point. I know he has grown, though. Some of his 3-6 month clothes aren't fitting :(!!

He is really starting to enjoy his Jumparoo. He is a big fan of sitting in the swing in the morning time and looking outside. He still loves to be worn and we have ventured into the world of back carries and woven wraps! I love wrapping and I love woven wraps. So much fun!!! He is big cuddler when he is tired. He loves to cuddle up in bed and, well of course, eat!!! He is a great nurser. No problems in the eating area!!! His favorite toys right now are a mirror, a vibrating and laughing cow and my face.

Being his mommy is exhausting and exhilarating...but I wouldn't trade it for the world!!! I love you Jaxon Parker....

Poo and Pee and All That In Between!!!

2011-01-22T10:24:00.000-08:00

Well, we are officially embarking on an elimination journey with Elimination Communication. Jaxon is teaching us when he needs to poo or pee in the potty instead of in diapers. I encourage anyone with kids to read up on it. It is a great tool to get to know your baby even better. We officially started it full time today, but have been doing it occasionally up to this point. He has peed in the toilet multiple times. We are still working on poos at this point. Lots of diaper free time. Beware, you may see many naked baby pics coming up.

Our goal is not to potty learn early (although that will probably be accomplished), but to increase our communication to each other. As he communicates his need to poo or pee, I increase my communication to him by answering these needs. He seems to enjoy his diaper free time. We also just purchased his brand new potty. We purchased the BeCO potty which is truly biodegradable after we are finished. Also, some more baby legs coming our way to keep those little legs warm when not wearing much clothing or diapers.

Bid us well on our journey....

Resolutions, Goals and Dreams

2011-01-08T18:51:00.000-08:00

Well, I know New Year's Day was a few days ago, but I am setting my goals in motion now. I don't call my aspirations "New Year's Resolutions" because that always brings on an instant thought of failure. So many people (present company included) break their resolutions. Therefore, I will call mine a goal! I have a desired result in mind!

Now I know that every woman in America has a weight loss resolution or goal. I do think it is a little cheesy, but it is my goal too. I have officially lost all but 1 lb of my pregnancy weight. I can fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes, including jeans. I am proud of this, but I did nothing to get this way. Breastfeeding has been the only thing that has brought the weight off of me.

Unfortunately, I still don't like the way I look or my "health" level right now. I am not satisfied with myself at this point. Not an unhealthy body image thing, just want to be healthier. I am already obsessed with food health and organics, but I need to go a little further in my health venture. In order to do this, I must go BOLD!!!

In doing this, I must keep in mind my bone structure, height, health of my baby and health of my family. I cannot let those things falter, but I can get healthier myself. So here it goes:

Current weight: 175lbs
Goal weight: 160 lbs
Current exercise: sitting up in the morning to get out of bed, constantly creating motion for a 15-16 lb child, walking through the grocery store
Goal exercise: 5 mile run (without having an asthma attack - yes I actually have asthma), strength training on a more frequent basis such as twice per week

So, now that the holidays are over and I have officially announced my weight to the world...I think I'll get started so that I can come back and announce a lower weight a little more proudly.

PS: If any of you ladies want to join me in this endeavor...please feel free to comment. You must be just as bold, though. No fad diets, no starving yourself...just a healthier lifestyle!!!

Happy New Year!!

Three Months

2011-01-07T18:19:00.000-08:00

Well, we have made it 3 months with our little man. It is amazing how time flies. We have already had so many "firsts". We had our first Thanksgiving, our first Christmas, our first New Year's, our first car trip, and our first airplane trip. He's had a busy little life in just 3 months. He has been in NY, NJ and TN already. I'm so sure that he will remember to tell you all about his experience with these things, also!! I know he is somewhere between 15 and 16 lbs now and is about 25-26 inches tall. He is teething like crazy, grasping for his toys, "talking" (oohs and ahhs), smiling, laughing, loves his bath time, eating like he may never get fed again, not waking as much (see side note), and starting to like his Jumparoo seat!

*****Side Note****
He is not waking as much, but he is eating all night long. Let me explain. We went to my dad's house for New Year's and spent 10 days there. Before going, I had been placing him in the cosleeper for the first few hours at night, and then moving him over to our bed in the early, early morning. He would then nurse on and off for the rest of the morning. This usually happened around 4 or 5. When we were at my dad's house, he slept with me all night. My dad has a heated mattress pad on the bed, so Jaxon would spread out and sleep great on the heated bed. He would cuddle next to me all night and nurse freely. I have given up on changing this as we do sleep great this way. He nurses whenever all night and I sleep all night (mostly). The co sleeper has became a great place to hold diapers and wipes :)!

Little Updates:
1. He still continues to refuse all pacifiers of every shape and size
2. He nurses like a champ
3. He has horrible eczema which requires daily oatmeal baths, prescription cream, calendula cream and a dairy free mommy
4. He has started bringing both legs up into the crawling position, but can't quite lift his head off the ground at the same time
5. Cloth diaper is going great. We have every shape and sort of cloth diaper. We even have daddy friendly cloth diapers.
6. He likes to look at himself in the mirror.
7. Teething has brought on the world of constant drooling.
8. He is still the cutest guy ever!!!

Two Months

2010-12-07T20:11:00.000-08:00

Today my little guy is officially 2 months old. Time is flying by. It is hard to remember what life was like before him. The past month has been fun and frenzied all at the same time. This month he has gained more strength in rolling over, can hold his head up by his hands (not just his elbows), coos all the time, laughs, giggles a little, loves to take baths and showers, had his first cold, started teething and loves long walks on the beach (just making sure you're listening!) He weighs 14.3 lbs and is 24.5 inches long. He wears a few 0-3 month clothes and a few 3-6 month clothes. We have perfected the art of cloth diapering (at least for this stage). He loves to be worn in the sling while strolling around Manhattan. He sleeps partially in our bed and partially in the cosleeper. He has slept for 5 hours but mostly sleeps between 3-4 hour stretches. He likes his bouncy seat for a short while, then usually goes back to being worn in the sling. He likes to cuddle. He likes to be held while I bounce on the physio-ball. He is my little man and I love watching his development.

He has also taught me many more crucial things over the past month. As he puts me through mommy boot camp, I am constantly amazed at the new obstacles that he can throw my way.

Life lessons courtesy of Jaxon:

1. Let down still occurs at the most unfortunate times.
2. Patterned shirts are always a better choice for public. (see #1)
3. Cutting a baby's fingernails is an art and a science that require mad skills.
4. His favorite place to breastfeed is walking through the mall being worn in a sling when I have 5 shopping bags in my hands, a drink and not a chair in sight.
5. The quieter the place, the more likely he will cry and it will probably be loud.
6. Cuddling is always a priority to anything I was doing or planning on doing.
7. Any hair near his hands is fair game.
8. Always buy the outfit one size larger as he will outgrow it as soon as you cut the tags, wash it, and make it non-returnable.
9. His smile will always make any day better.
10. When I think I can't possibly love him anymore than I already do, the next day comes and so does more love!

We have definitely had our struggles as any new parents do, but we are so blessed to have him in our lives!

A few parenting books/blogs/news from this month have included:
The Happiest Baby on the Block
Diaper Free Baby
Better for Babies blog
the Natural Child Project website/blog

Happy Thanksgiving

2010-11-25T06:06:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving!! Don and I have so much to be thankful for, especially this year. We have had a successful journey across the country, a good job for Don, a healthy baby boy, and a wonderful extended family and friends who have been so gracious to us this year. God has been faithful and amazing as usual! We continue to be amazed by the graciousness and hospitality of the people we meet!

Here is to another year of gratitude, praise and thanksgiving to God for all he has done and continues to bless us with.

Why????

2010-11-12T13:36:00.000-08:00

Why?? Why do we do what we do as parents? Why do we read, not read, sleep train, not sleep train, breastfeed, bottlefeed, cloth diaper, disposable diaper, organic or nonorganic? These are questions that new moms have to face all the time when preparing for parenting. Unfortunately, these questions continue. There will always be critics of everything you do, especially your parenting style. I did not think I would have to defend my style so early in my child's little life (at the ripe age of 1 month).

Unfortunately, I had an acquaintance and strong proponent of the Babywise method that it is a very realistic version of parenting. She proceeded to tell me that I would not understand until I had more children and that one child is "a piece of cake." This is coming from a girl who has only 2 kids. I do not know her children's temperaments, nor does she know mine. Whether she meant it as a slam or just a statement (with no harm intended), it kind of made me mad. I can take a lot of criticism and tend to run the line of not rocking the boat on parenting styles because you have to do what works for you and I will do what works for me. I also think change for every child, because nothing will work for everyone. But this rebutal is in response to that statement. I will be the first to say that I have so much to learn and really know very little about parenting. I have one child who is 1 month old. I can stand a few "lessons" from other parents. I also am very open to hearing ANY idea that you may have, but I will take it with a grain of salt and move on. I am also aware that having more than one child is different that having only 1 child, but your intention to parent the children does not change. There are alot of issues that I obviously have not crossed because of the age of my child, but that doesn't change how I parent and my philosophy. I am also open to changing methods if something does not work for us, but I won't throw my whole theory out with the bath water.

I am a Christian, wife, mother, sister, friend, green, organic, hippie, libertarian, cloth diapering, co sleeping, breastfeeding, attachment parenting, baby wearing, not sure about schooling, barefooting, natural birthing, thinks pot should be legal kind of girl. (And yes, I said that last statement!)

These are the things that define me as a person and make me...well...me! These are the things that determine what parenting style my husband and I have chosen. Now, speaking of parenting styles...I don't really like to label it. I like to do what seems natural and intentional. That being said, my theories do line up more with AP than with any other philosophy.

That leads me to my explanations of parenting for my husband and I:

1. Natural Pregnancy and Labor: I believe that labor is intended to be a natural process, not a medical diagnosis if you have a healthy, normal pregnancy. I chose to be very holistic in my care, have a natural delivery and be as organic as possible during my pregnancy. I believe that home births and birth center births are awesome. I am saying this as someone who did it and also as a labor and delivery nurse. This is not for everyone, but it did work for us. There are things I did during my pregnancy that probably weren't the best (ie: eating a whole row of Oreos or eating carne asada chips at 3AM), but that doesn't make me a bad mother...just human. I did what I could and I what I thought was best. Why? Because it felt natural!

2. Baby bonding: I believe that baby bonding is very important. I was not able to put the baby skin to skin immediately after birth due to complications, but I did do this as soon as it was medically safe and possible. I cherish the moments where my son laid on my bare chest and his little naked body snuggled close. I cherish the skin to skin breastfeeding. It was the most natural feeling I could feel and loved every minute of it. We did this multiple times throughout the early days and weeks after birth. Why? Because it felt natural!

3. Breastfeeding: I believe that breastfeeding is a privilege and opportunity that I have to do what is best for my child. It provides immunity, comfort, and nourishment all in one. I can continue to increase the bond with my child. Do I think you are a bad mother because you bottle feed or use formula...no, but this is what I have chosen. I also do infant led feeding and weaning. I plan to feed as often and as long as my child desires so that I don't rip that closeness away too early. This is researched fact by the WHO. When people follow methods such as "parent directed feeding", evidence shows possible health implications that could pose harmful for the infant. I get to eat when I want, why shouldn't my child. Do you eat at the same exact time every day and the same exact amount of food? Probably not. This is what is my choice. Why? Because it felt natural!

4. Intentional parenting: I intend to meet all of my baby's emotional, physical, and other needs as much as I possibly can. I plan to learn my baby's cues and cries and determine what he needs...then meet it. I do not think (especially in infants) that children should have to learn to self soothe at such an early age. I also don't plan to offer them more distress than the world will already provide. I want to provide comfort and trust for my child. They need to feel safe with their parents. Why? Because it felt natural!

5. CoSleeping: My husband and I have initiated a family bedsharing process for sleeping. I feel this provides rest for all of us, safety for my child, and comfort for my child. I also find it much easier to fulfill the breastfeeding on demand this way. This may change in the future, but for now...it works. I do think that "sleep training" is important in moderation and with the right kind of model. You either sleep train with time or with tears. I choose time. I don't plan to allow my child to CIO. I plan to use models such as The No Cry Sleep Solution. This will also be determined partially by my child. I get to sleep when I want, why shouldn't he. Why? Because it feels natural!

6. Cloth Diapers: This makes economical sense. This makes environmental sense. This makes diaper rash almost go away. This keeps chemicals away from my baby. They are also just so darn cute on little babies! Why? Because it feels natural!

7. Babywearing: I believe this is important for many reasons. No need for a child to feel like less of a person all the time living at knee high in a stroller. It is easier to move around and I carry less stuff. The child gets to learn from me about social interaction and gets to see things from my perspective. It provides comfort for an overstimulating world. It is "womb" like for my little tyke. I, again, can meet the demands of breastfeeding easier and quicker. I can breastfeeding anywhere at anytime. (yes, I nurse freely in public) He doesn't have to cry and wait for comfort because he is already comforted and is quietly alert in my arms taking in all the sites around. Why? Because it feels natural!

8. Balance: I strive to achieve balance in my life. This includes my personal walk with Jesus, my relationship with my husband, my chores around the house, my alone time, and of course, my parenting time. This is still in the very early stages of my parenting life, but I can still strive for this. Why? Because it feels natural!

Now, all that being said...I have to knock just a little on Babywise. There are many other parenting methods that I disagree with also, ,such as Ferberization. But at least Dr. Ferber is an MD, does research at Boston Children's in a sleep lab. He adjusts his methods according to his research results and states that not everything works for all babies. I can at least respect the man, but I don't have to agree with the model.

Babywise is written by Gary Ezzo. It was first written as Sunday school material for a class that he and his wife taught years ago. He renamed it Babywise when he made a secular version and got a crazy pediatrician to agree with him. If you do your research, though; you will see that he has been ex communicated by his church, his publisher, his business partners, his pastor and HIS OWN CHILDREN! He also has no medical or psychological training in the field in which he teaches. He also relates morality to childhood behaviors. Just because a child cries to eat does not make this child immoral. This method claims to have "no evidence of harm", but it does not claim to have "evidence of NO HARM!" There is a big difference. I for one intend to provide no trust issues for my baby. The big bad world will do that without me helping. Yes, I will mess up as a parent and do the wrong thing. I hope to not do it intentionally, though.

Sorry for such a long blog...but sometimes you just have to vent. This is the most rational, nonviolent, calm and respectful way that I know how.

This is my voice. This is my choice. This is my parenting!

Happy 1 Month

2010-11-07T15:51:00.000-08:00

Well, we have made it to the 1 month mark. It has been a crazy, but fun and amazing month since October 7 at 2:08am. He is 11+ lbs and 22+ inches long. He is in the 90th percentile on the growth charts. He nurses like a champ! His calendar consists of eating, sleeping, pooping, visual tracking, the occasional rollover, crying, smiling and trips to Manhattan. He is a great little guy to have around!

I have learned a lot in 1 month. He has trained me pretty well in the art of mothering. Here are some of the lessons that he has schooled me in:

1. I can change a flat, prefold, fitted, and AI2 cloth diaper in the dark, in the floor, with my eyes closed, in the bathroom at Nordstrom's, on a shag rug, and in the car.
2. I can manage to make a full load of laundry in just 1 day.
3. I can breastfeed and sleep through it.
4. Co sleeping is a new change to our habits, but it is great.
5. Babywearing keeps me so much warmer in NYC than I had ever expected.
6. Sleep deprivation has no limits.
7. Every time I go anywhere, I now have to pack what seems to be a full blown suitcase for just a couple of hours. I have learned to pre-plan and pre-pack the night before (especially for early morning adventures).
8. I can cook, breastfeed, and put dishes away all at the same time.
9. A bouncy seat is worth a million dollars in housework!
10. No need to go to the gym when I have an 11 lb moving weight that likes constant motion.
11. Milk let down occurs at the most unfortunate times.

These are just a few of the things that I have learned. Like I said, I have been trained fairly well in this past month. We are starting to groove pretty well. APing is getting much easier. I have a great AP parents group that meets once a month. They are a great group of moms with a wealth of knowledge (especially knowledge of the NYC area). The greatest thing of all, though, is having Don come home after working all day and offer to wear Jaxon around the apt building so I can get a short break. The break of course is much needed and very helpful, but having him offer and seeing him wear Jaxon is the best!!

After all of that, my little man is beckoning me...so Happy 1 month Birthday, Jaxon...we love you!!

Our Story: Jaxon and Mama

2010-10-15T13:09:00.000-07:00

Many of you have asked about my birth story. Well here it goes. I write like a nurse, so beware if you don't prefer to hear the gory details.

Don and I prepared for many months in advance to have a natural, hypnobirth labor and delivery. We took the class, read the books, listened to the CDs, and practiced the hypnosis and verbage. I agree with 90% of their model, so we thought it was a great way to prepare. Little did we know that things would be so abrupt. I truly believe in natural birthing and natural pregnancies. The last thing I wanted was a c section or an induction unless absolutely medically necessary. Many of you may not agree with me, but that is my preference. I believe birth is a rite of passage and that it is a beautiful experience that should be enjoyed and not fretted.

As I approached 40 weeks, I was getting a wee bit tired of being pregnant. The mental aspect was getting the best of me. I definitely was ready to go into labor. Apparently Jaxon was way too comfortable though. I don't know how ripe my cervix was. I was taking Evening Primrose Oil, having sex on a more than regular basis, doing nipple stimulation, pumping with a breast pump, tried Castor Oil a few times (only induced vomiting), and walked until I had a stress fracture in my heel. Nothing was happening.

Then came 41 weeks. My Bishop score was a total of 3. Nothing great. I was definitely not ready to go into labor. We had to start at least talking about an induction. I also started getting bi-weekly NST's, BPP's and AFI's. I talked all of the details over with my midwives. All of the above testing for Jaxon was more than perfect. He was simply comfy and growing still. I continued to try all of the above remedies for cervical ripening. No contractions, though.

I had my next appointment at 41 weeks and 6 days. We decided to strip my membranes on this visit, despite my Bishop score. My cervix was very ripe, though. At least all those remedies were doing something. That visit was on Tuesday. I did not have a single contractions all the way through Tuesday evening or Wednesday. I was getting a wee bit frustrated with my body at this time. I also had doubts that anything was going to go the way we planned - as if birth is ever planned!

Thursday rolled around and I had some mild cramping, but nothing that I had not already experienced and had went away. I went walking, took more primrose oil and decided to try Castor Oil one last time. I made a peanut butter, chocolate and vanilla milkshake with 2 oz of castor oil. That actually disguised the taste enough for me to get it down. Again, nothing happened though. I went for another walk, kept well hydrated, cleaned somethings in the house and went about my day like normal. The cramping did not end this time though, but they also did not turn into contractions.

Around 8:30pm, I finally started feeling cramping that became more regular. I made lasagna and put it in the oven at 8:30 and decided to call Don and tell him what was going on. I talked to him while he drove home and told him that I think I might actually go into labor. I called the midwife to update her and she recommended a walk, some wine and some Benadryl to sleep. In my experience, this is typical for a first time labor. I called Don and told him that I would like to take a walk while the lasagna finishes and then try to get some sleep.

He walked in the door at 9:15pm and my water broke at 9:20 with a huge gush of green fluid. I called the midwife back and updated her and told her that contractions had now started and were 2-3 min apart. She recommended that we come to the birth center because we live 45 min away and that we would probably have to go to the hospital for the meconium. Don and I turned off the oven, threw the lasagna in the microwave, grabbed my shoes, he changed and rolled out of the apartment. I left wearing multiple pads, sweats, and sat on a huge towel. My fluid continued to gush, making quite the yucky mess. My contractions all of a sudden were 2 min apart and were continuing to get stronger.

We arrived to the birth center at 10:45pm. She checked me and I was 3-4 cm with a good fetal HR. My contractions remained 2 min apart. We all three drove to the hospital just down the road. I checked myself in while Don fought with NY parking. I paced in the hallway doing my hypnobirth breathing while the nurses stood looking at me. I felt a little weird in that moment. I'm pretty sure no one knew what they were doing in triage, considering I was a direct admit.

I finally got a room, got hooked to the monitor and had a hep lock placed. My contractions were still 2 min apart. The midwife checked me and I was 5-6 cm and that was around midnight. Don started video taping. I was doing hypnobreathing and bouncing on the birthing ball. The whole time, my contractions were all in my back and I had continuous pressure. Don was pushing on my hips and the midwife was doing the hypnobirthing scripts. Everything seemed to be moving right along.

Then it hit, the contractions fell into this overzealous pattern of mayheim. They were less than a minute apart. The pressure intensified and I lost all control of my body. The hypnobirthing philosophy went out the window and I just tried to maintain any respectable composure. I told the midwife that I felt alot of pressure, so she checked me again. I was still 5-6 cm though. I thought I might go insane at this point. I was in tears because my contractions were about 45 sec apart lasting about 1.5 min. My uterus was making up for the past 42 weeks! I had no time to even catch my breath in between contractions. I told Don I wanted an epidural. She and Don both asked me multiple times if that is what I really wanted. I had no idea what I wanted, but I wanted the insanity to end. Fortunately, the anesthesia team was in with another patient at the time. So I continued to breath, focus on the "opening rose", and listen to Don.

While all this was going on in my head, my labor continued in this crazy pattern. I told the midwife once again that I felt pressure. I was unable to hold back the urge to push. This was only 45 min from the last check she had done. She agreed to check me again because Jaxon's heartrate kept dropping. Something was going on...but no one knew what. She did check me and I was complete and +1.

This meant I could push. The relief was coming. I forgot about the epidural and began to push my heart out. The greatest feeling of relief I had had since 9:20pm. I pushed a total of 2 times before the lovely hospital attending came in "to save the day"! She decided she would not let me push because his heartrate was too low. He was already at +2 after only 2 pushes. She made me sit with her hands inside of me doing fetal scalp stim through about 5 contractions. I finally lost it and told her she needed to move along. Finally, the MD that covers the midwifes arrived. He was the greatest doctor on the earth that night. He had the other attending leave because all she wanted to do was cut me. He told me to push. We got up into the bed and used the squat bar. I pushed a few times and then we had to lay back down to get the heartrate. He told me I had 2 more pushes and then he would use the vacuum because Jaxon's HR was in the 70's for quite a while. I agreed. We pushed, but couldn't get him out. He set me up for the vacuum and prepared for should dystocia. Don was on one side and Andrea (CNM) was on the other. The contractions came and so did the most intense burning sensation that anyone could ever imagine. The pop came and his head was out. Only one more hurdle to over come now....the shoulders.

Well, I had a big child so these shoulders were some work, but they came on out. He laid him on my chest and we sat there for a couple of seconds before he had to be suctioned for the meconium. One of the greatest moments of my life came in those few seconds. Yes, the pain had ended, but I had accomplished something. I had given birth to a beautiful baby boy (that might I add was very healthy)!

I had no idea that my labor would only last 5 hours and be almost a precipitous delivery with a hyperstimming uterus. I had no idea that we would completely forget about the scrips, CDs, breathing baby down and all of the other hypnobirthing stuff. I had no idea that I would only have back labor. I had idea that he would not tolerate being abruptly brought into this world. I had no idea that I would have 3rd degree vaginal tearing that would require vaginal packing and 12 different sutures.

I do know that I am so grateful to have a healthy baby boy. I also know that I am very proud of delivering without an epidural or any other medications, even though I did ask for it. I do know that the next time, I will live a lot closer to whereever I give birth or will give birth at home.

We stayed in the hospital for 24 hours. We came home on Friday after eating a meal in Brooklyn. We got home and now the fun has really begun...

Kindness

2010-08-13T09:01:00.000-07:00

I first have to say sorry for all of my 1 readers out there for taking so long to put up a new post. I feel like I have taken on the world in these past few weeks, and well...its winning most of the time. NYC is a very difficult and frustrating place to move into. People can make or break a move, and I don't think New Yorkers really want to make mine easy!!! Enough about that...

We have been studying the fruits of the spirit at church. Last week, we were challenged with a message on kindness. Now I know all of you that know me think I am so kind and don't need messages like this.:) As much as I would truly have to agree with you (JK), I am finding it to be a true struggle. We were each given the opportunity to take a different kindness challenge for the week. My challenge was to purchase the person behind me in line a cup of coffee. It seems like such a simple task. Unfortunately, it is proving to be very, very difficult. Here are the many reasons why...

1. I am still turned off by the smell of coffee during this pregnancy
2. I don't have a car to actually go get coffee
3. I don't ever have any cash
4. The closest coffee shop is not within walking distance
5. I have thought about buying anything for the person behind me in line, but no one has honestly been behind me in a line anywhere I have gone in the past few days.

These are legitimate excuses that I am finding to be the true challenge. When I got the card, I thought...how easy!!! Man was I fooled. My goal is to leave the house Saturday morning for the farmer's market followed by Trader Joe's. I will then go to many many coffee shops around the farmer's market in search of the poor soul who gets to have me buy coffee for them. I will not return home until this task has been accomplished. Operation: Be Kind to a NYer.

The reason for this dyer need to accomplish this is not for my own joy or benefit, although it may sound that way. The reason is Proverbs 3:3 -
"Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart."

Think about all of the impact we as Christians could make by simply being kind...

Points to Ponder

2010-07-27T10:17:00.000-07:00

I want to start a little quiet time, devotional, and memorization part of this blog. I'll admit, I'm stealing the idea from a friend's blog, but I think it is a great idea to steal.

Memory:
Hebrews 12:1-2

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him, endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."

Quiet Time:
Job 40-42

Points to Ponder:
Job 42:7-13

How is your marriage relationship with God? Are you willing to be as honest with your feelings towards God as Job was with his feelings? Peter Kreeft writes, "[Job] is in a true relationship to God, as the three friends are not: a relationship of heart and soul, life-or-death passion.... God is infinite love, and the opposite of love is not hate but indifference. Job's love for God is infected with hate, but the three friends' love for God is infected with indifference. Job stays married to God and throws dishes at him; the three friends have a polite nonmarriage, with separate bedrooms and separate vacations. The family that fights together stays together."

Ponder the thought that God can handle you, all of you, even your negative emotions.

-thoughts from The Message//Remix:Solo - Day 72

Beauty in the Midst of Storm

2010-07-27T10:00:00.000-07:00

This weekend was a fantastic weekend. We were able to host some very good friends of ours here in NYC. Daniel and Carla Howell and their daughter Madeleine. They arrived on Saturday evening and stayed until Tuesday morning. We had a blast with them. We were able to venture down into Manhattan on Sunday for church and lunch. We ate at Five Napkins, which is a great burger restaurant on West 84th street (for anyone in the area).

We then decided to drive home because it started "raining." Little did we know that while we were eating, one of the worst
storms on the east coast was happening about 5 minutes from our house in Riverdale Bronx. There were wind gusts up to 60 mph and major damage was done. Multiple trees were uprooted and lying in the roads. Many power lines were down and many cars got hit with trees. The Henry Hudson Pkwy flooded just a couple miles from our house. It was crazy!! Overall, I'm glad we decided to head indoors instead of walk around Manhattan, which also got hit pretty hard.

After the bulk of the storm, the sun came out and the horrifically hot humidity that had landed over NYC for the first time in years was pushed away!! It turned out to be a beautiful Sunday evening, with the sun shining and 70 degree weather. We decided to drive up to Hastings on the Hudson (a small town about 10 min from our apt) and walk around a bit. This is what we found...

...we found a blue door. That is all. Everything had closed for the evening. Fun..huh!!!

Oh well, we had a great time with our friends and hope to be able to do it again soon.

For all you runners out there, check out www.thebarefootbook.com. This is Dr. Howell's newest publication (his reason for coming to NYC).

A Beautiful Sunday

2010-07-19T09:01:00.000-07:00

This has been one crazy week. We have finally got our stuff moved in and unpacked. Now all we need to do is set out a few more decorations and we will be done!!!
I have spent the entire week dealing with different insurance companies concerning my maternity coverage. That has been a new experience and a challenging one at that.
I have dealt with some of the hottest most humid weather that I have felt in years, and I get to experience it while being pregnant.

All that to say that we had a wonderful day yesterday experiencing our new city.

We started off our day by going to Journey Church in the Upper West Side. We had a great service worshiping and praising God. Then we had a great message given by a couple of the pastors at the church concerning our plans and dreams for our own lives, and how they intersect with God's purpose for us. It was a great time. I also managed to parallel park our car on the left side of the road in potentially the smallest parking spot that I have ever seen.

After church, we headed to 5th Ave in Manhattan for an amazing lunch at Fig and Olive. It is Restaurant Week here in NYC and that means great food for half the price. I had one of the best Mediterranean meals that I have ever eaten. We spent a while at the restaurant. Again, another parallel parking spot on the left side of the road, this one alot larger though. I did, however, have to reverse past 3 parked cars on the left and long line of taxis on the right to obtain this spot. I'm pretty sure that Don just closed his eyes and prayed as this occurred.

After lunch, we walked around 5th Ave, and eventually ended up at FAO Schwartz to look at baby stuff (AKA - play with toys). After that, we went to Trump Tower to look off one of the roofs from the public gardens at the views of 5th Ave and Broadway.

We then drove ourselves over the Manhattan Bridge into Brooklyn through the village to visit Don's cousins. We spent the evening in Brooklyn, eating at another great restaurant!

After a great day in Manhattan, we made our way back home via the Henry Hudson Pkwy along the Hudson River and Manhattan skyline. This is a beautiful view at night.

Another successful tale from our journeys in NY.