Love Anthology

Are You and Your Partner due a Date Night?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 14:26:00 +0000

More than a third of lovers admit that they can’t remember the previous time they went on a date together.
A new study from OnePoll has asked 1,000 people in relationships how they have a dedicated date night together often, and 39% of lovers say they have gone it so long that they can no more remember the last period.
Spending dedicated time permits you to catch up together, and remember everything you love about one another. It’s an opportunity to talk about the things that matter with someone who cares, from the banalities and distractions of day-to-day life.
So, for the one in 10 folks who say they hardly ever have the ability to organize anything, and the main one in five who state they only control it twice a yr, let’s look into why it issues and what we can do about it.

Why should we've a date night?

Those that regularly make period for date nights state that they think happier - actually, 78% of lovers believe they are less inclined to split up if indeed they make time for each and every other. Date nights facilitate a few of the most important areas of your relationship, including:

Communication. There’s a good reason we speak about this so much. An open channel of communication is among the key ingredients of a successful relationship, so it’s really important to give yourselves that opportunity. The better your conversation, the deeper your understanding of each other becomes. Date nights give you the time and space to get this done.
Excitement. Everybody knows that the novelty of a fresh relationship wears off. On the other hand, doing things outside you could be helped by the ordinary experience higher levels of relationship satisfaction, keeping the enthusiasm in your lives actually after the ‘honeymoon period’ features cooled off.
Commitment. Lovers who are more committed to each other will feel a sense of satisfaction within their relationships. Making dedicated time for your partner can remind them of how much they mean to you, nurturing and confirming your commitment.
Sex. Dedicated romantic period can rekindle or fortify the spark of your romantic relationship. So making sure you book in a date night time can provide your sex existence a boost which, for many people, is a hugely crucial part of a romance.

Why don’t we have a date night?

The most frequent reasons given for not really spending enough private time with this significant others are insufficient money, insufficient time, and lack of energy. So, let’s seem at some ways for you and your partner to get together and enjoy each other’s organization after a difficult week of function, and without breaking the bank.
You don’t need to set a regimented every month or weekly date nighttime necessarily, but just remember to check in occasionally. After an extended day or week at the job, it could feel so easier merely to have a lazy night in - so have a quick think about what that you can do to make your evening not the same as time to time.

Keep it simple

Dinner for two may be the most popular option among the one in 20 people who have a regularly scheduled date night together, with 69% saying that is their preferred way to spend alone time together.
It doesn’t have to be high-priced or flashy - if you’re struggling to make time for each and every other, keep it basic. If you’re used to having supper off your laps before the telly, just try googling a few eating places near you. In case you only have one course and a glass of plain tap water, you’ve still made a change to your routine and put yourself in person with your partner. This simple shake-up will make all the difference.
Or check out the neighborhood cinema listings and each decide on something you want to see. If you both pick something different, contemplate it a cultural exchange and reserve two dates. There’s something magical about a trip to the cinema - and it gives you something to speak about afterwards.
While you’re still engaging in the habit of setting up a date night, try and stick to issues you can both delight in. For example, if one of you is a huge sports admirer and the different one isn’t, then a football match probably isn’t going to make the very best date.
It really is harder to find period to spend jointly if you’ve got children, or work extended hours, or are a little bit hard up for cash but, if you fit into all these categories even, it doesn’t indicate you can’t have a pleasant evening together.
Consider getting a takeaway and deciding on a film to watch (rather than just watching whatever’s on). Or get one of these new recipe and take in something unique at the table jointly without distractions. Light a candle and turn off your phones… agree to give one another your full attention, so that it doesn’t feel just like any other evening.
You don’t have to help to make a grand gesture. The littlest things can make the biggest difference in showing just how much you care. In other words, if you want to have a special nighttime and you haven’t had one in some time, you only should take action that isn’t everything you constantly do, and you’ll come to be well on your way.
We’d want to hear your date night stories and ideas. Do you have any tips for making the most of an evening together? Let us know in the comments below.

5 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Strong

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 02 Mar 2016 15:58:00 +0000

If you’re wondering tips on how to keep your relationship healthier, don’t stress! There are simple stuff that can be done frequently to improve your interconnection and keep your like for just one another strong.

Vacation Down Memory Lane.

With all different issues and stressors couples face, it is simple to forget what brought them in the first place together. Take a trip down memory lane with your reminisce and partner how you first got together. What attracted you to him/her? What had been your first impressions of every different? What were the initial couple of months of your romance like? Remembering these times can rekindle those initial loving feelings easily.

Learn to Listen.

When talking to your lover, be sure to listen totally and non-judgmentally. Make sure you want to understand their viewpoint, if you don’t trust it even. Many persons get swept up in trying to think about their response instead of listening - make sure you avoid this trap! Lovers who are qualified at providing the other person with social support have already been demonstrated to be more healthy and happier than less skilled couples.

Draw Love Maps.

John Gottman, a forerunner in lovers research, has discovered that partners can feel better and more intimate by firmly taking less than five extra mins a working day to create “Like Maps.” To take action, at the start of your day each spouse shares what his / her day will end up like. During the full day, each partner considers the other and appreciates what their day should be like. By the end of the day, partners share and pay attention to to how one another’s day went carefully. Research has proven that one major path to intimacy within romantic relationships is regular communication about the daily happenings of every partners’ separate life.

Show Support.

Identify two tiny or simple things that all of that you can do to supply comfort or support one to the other when the various other is having a hard time or bad day time. Research has displayed that partners that may support the other person around shared difficulties and shared disagreements can in fact experience increased intimacy within their relationship.

Take up to Your Strengths.

As well as the strengths listed above, there are several other common strengths that lots of couples have. Discover what strengths you own as a few, and use them in your favor. Knowing what you’re proficient at can assist you improve other areas of your romance, and manage stress and other problems easier.

Friends: Couples research has discovered that the grade of a couple’s friendship is probably the strongest predictors of romance well-being. Companions who are friends to one another have already been demonstrated to become more resilient to the ups and downs of daily life.
Acceptance: While all lovers have their in a natural way occurring distinctions and all partners include their quirks, the healthiest lovers have found methods to cope very well with these variations also to accept the other person for the “herbal flaws in the textile”. Recent couples analysis has recognized the essential function of acceptance in lovers healthy relationship functioning.
Commitment: Couples analysis has regularly found a solid association between shared determination and relationship health insurance and stability. Commitment is apparently that top quality of a romance or relationship that helps companions to actively look after their relationship health and easier weather the difficult instances.

Sugar Daddy Relationships: Do They Work?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 01 Mar 2016 22:04:00 +0000

The other day, I happened to visit a guy in the Nordstrom underwear department who looked like he was around 60. He wasn't wearing a wedding band, and he was browsing a rack of dark-colored lacy thongs, teddies and garters. I got a feeling he wasn't shopping for a woman his age, but instead for his 20-something girlfriend. While I don't possess proof, there wasn't one thing on that rack that would be worn by a female over 40.
I am not judging the man at all, but seeing him received me taking into consideration the sugar daddy relationship, more particularly, whether it can actually work.
First, what's the sugar daddy's attraction to young women? Here are several possibilities:
She's hot.
She's fun.
She's got a lot of energy
She makes him come to feel young.
Down deep, he doesn't desire anything serious, so she is perfect for him.
She looks up to him and will make him feel important.
He is proud to have her on his arm.
But even with each one of these positives, I do think there exists a side of a guy dating a much younger women, who at some true stage thinks to himself, "What the hell am I performing?" Just to illustrate -- I received this concept from a reader:
I'm dating a girl who's 23 and I'm substantially older. What's the downside? Both of us enjoy the relationship.
Now, why would this guy reach out and ask about the downside if he is saying "We both enjoy the relationship?" Why does he care? Is definitely he seeking for validation? May I be wanted by him -- a 50 12 months old woman to tell him I approve? Maybe he just wants my opinion, which is this.
If a sugar daddy and his youthful girlfriend are experiencing fun, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. If no person is getting hurt and if there are no false expectations on either right part, then I think it's great. Most of us deserve to be cheerful.
But to remedy my reader's question, "What's the downside?" in my opinion, down deep, he knows, but I'll say it anyway. The drawback is, these sorts of interactions have a shelf lifestyle. In many instances, the sugar daddy relationship only lasts for a time period and then it just doesn't work anymore. Why? Here are 6 possible reasons:
1. The novelty of the partnership wears off plus they realize they have hardly any in common.
2. They run out of things to talk about.
3. The man realizes he wants you to definitely get old (older) with.
4. The girl realizes she wants babies and starts off pressuring the person (or breaks up).
5. The guy does not have the energy the girl does and gets tired of clubbing it until 3:00 am on Saturday nights.
6. They recognize the relationship is not ever going to be as deep as it is wanted by them to be.
It's sad because when any relationship ends, regardless of the age difference, it hurts, due to the fact you have spent a sizable amount of time for someone and you care about that person. Also, I'm not saying that each sugar daddy marriage is doomed. Some ongoing work out, but I believe it's rare.
I've so many guy friends who are in their forties and fifties who notify me they prefer to date ladies around their age. Their reasons stem mostly from the comfort and commonality they look and feel with someone of a similar age.
In closing, I think sugar daddy interactions happen when people aren't particularly buying meaningful commitment. This may be someone who got away of a marriage or a long-term romantic relationship just, or somebody who is in a phase of life where he/she just wants to celebrate.
If a person is looking for a deep commitment truly, he or she is most likely dating someone within a decade either way of how old they are. For me, the Nordstrom guy is on cloud nine, but he has no intention of marrying the recipient of his gift. Good for him. I sincerely mean that. Everyone should date who they want and not value the judgement and stigma of others. But I really believe with regards to true love and long-term happiness, older guy older woman has a much better potential for success than the sugar daddy relationship.

Relationship advice: five experts reveal the secrets to long-term love

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 28 Jun 2015 10:19:00 +0000

How to keep sex and love alive: 'argument enders', alone time and 23 other secrets to solve relationship problems

'There are different qualities to sex at different stages in a long relationship'

Kate Figes is an author. Her non-fiction books include 'Couples: How We Make Love Last’ and 'Our Cheating Hearts: Love and Loyalty, Lust and Lies’

Don’t expect to be one and the same. One of the more ridiculous myths about “true love” is the idea of the soulmate – that there is someone out there who is your perfect match. A good relationship is about navigating the numerous differences between you – over politics, food, money, how to raise children. It’s those differences that make life more interesting, as our lover opens up a whole new way of seeing or understanding the world. Enjoy what others have to offer rather than trying to change them to fit your own template of how life and love should be.

Accept that your partner is fallible. Expecting someone to be everything you need and everything you are not is a recipe for disaster. We all make mistakes, particularly in our love-lives, as relationships are never easy. But if you can exercise forgiveness in small ways at the start of a love affair then you’re more likely to find ways to forgive the bigger hurts and transgressions, if and when they happen.

Learn to talk about “why”. There are good rows and bad rows but make no mistake – everybody argues. Ridiculing or humiliating each other is not a good idea, or a good omen. But if you can both talk honestly about what irritates or upsets you and why, you are more likely to understand each other better. It can feel easier to avoid being honest if we feel that could be hurtful, but it is only with honesty that trust is built, and trust is the essence of a good relationship.

Accept that sex changes. There are different qualities to sex at different stages in a long relationship: first, passion; the urgency of reproductive sex; snatched sex in the early years of parenthood; then the slower intimacy of midlife onwards. But our culture presents only one type as being valid: youthful, vigorous, usually penetrative. It is possible to maintain a happy sex-life for decades with the same person. It may not be as often, or the sort of sex that you think you should be having, or think others must be having (but aren’t) – just relax and enjoy this special kind of intimacy together.

Appreciate what life still has to offer while you can. The great wonder of middle age is that we know our time is now limited. If you have managed to surf the ups and downs of bringing up children, work and making ends meet all within the same relationship, the rewards can be great. You have a wealth of shared memories to laugh over. You accept each other in your entirety. Rather than fearing getting older, remember that many couples in a long relationship find these to be their happiest years together.

Many couples find their later years to be their happiest (MBI/Alamy)

'Set aside time without the children. Easier said than done, but important'

Irma Kurtz is a writer and journalist. She has been the agony aunt for 'Cosmopolitan’ magazine since 1970

Forget trouble for a little while and laugh together. A good laugh is like good sex: spontaneous and uninhibited and an act that unites two beings as one. It’s worth going out of your way to have a good laugh, especially if things have been rocky. Go to a place where you used to laugh or where there’s a good chance of laughter. That moment when you exchange a look and end up laughing, often over a shared memory, is the best way to understand each other again. It can be pretty sexy in bed too – as long as you’re laughing together.

Shut up and listen. No matter how bad things are, give your partner a chance to speak. Given silence in which to speak or rant, they’ll say more than they meant to – even more than they knew they were thinking. It can be surprising and revealing and paves the way for honesty. We tend to jump in with an opinion before we’ve heard each other out. Don’t scream, keep your cool: it makes a big difference. So often, things can be resolved by learning to listen.

Arrange time without the children. When you have kids you adore, find time to be just you alone so you remember and remind each other of who you were before they arrived, who you are now, and who you will be when they are gone. It’s natural that attention shifts to the children, but it’s a good idea to remember why you are together, and have a child together, in the first place. It’s possible to make it work by setting aside a time in the week and asking a relative to mind the children. Easier said than done, but important.

Invest in the relationship with your partner’s family. These relationships can be rocky. Keep yours smooth by remembering birthdays and anniversaries, by butting out of family disputes, and by never forcing your partner into the position of taking sides with you against their mother, father or siblings – those relationships go back a long way. Try to establish a friendship with the most sympathetic of your in-laws who can be your defender, if necessary, when you are not present. An ally in the family can also fill in aspects of the past that may help you to understand your partner.

Don’t snoop. If you’re tempted to check your partner’s inbox or online history, stop, talk to yourself (whatever the psychologists say, it’s good for you). Ask, “Wait a minute, am I doing this because I think my partner is up to no good?” If so, have it out with him or her – you don’t need evidence, you need a conversation. Suspicion needs healing. The internet is a great place for expressing wishful thinking – but it’s important your partner is able to talk to you about those feelings.

Talk to your partner before you're tempted to snoop (Tips Images/Tips Italia Srl a socio unico/Alamy)

'Instead of "working" at your relationship, learn to "play"'

David Waters is a couples counsellor and faculty member of The School of Life, where he teaches classes including 'How to Communicate Better in Love’

Be able to reveal vulnerability, even if it feels daunting. When we start a relationship we like to feel in control, powerful even – to protect ourselves from the vulnerability that comes with opening up to a lover. We may carry the hurt from past relationships, so we protect ourselves by trying to appear in control. Yet no relationship was ever deepened by lovers’ attempts to assert themselves over each other – rather, it is through the mutual exploration of their imperfections, fears and anxieties that true connection occurs. It may sound counterintuitive but it’s true.

Change the metaphor that you associate with developing your relationship. Instead of “working” at it, learn to “play”. “Work” feels heavy and makes us think of future struggles, whereas “playfulness” engages the things you associate with good times, childhood comforts and moments of spontaneity. This means that instead of navel-gazing and pondering, you’re coming at the difficult things in life with humour and a lightness of touch. A couple that can laugh together, even mid-row, is in a healthy place.

Learn to spend time alone. Developing a relationship with yourself, deepened by solitary pursuits, hobbies and taking time out from work and relationships, will pay huge dividends with your partner. You will come back to the relationship refreshed, more able to express your needs (as you’re more likely to know what they are). We will always ultimately be a mystery to each other – it’s more healthy for this to be acknowledged, celebrated even, than denied.

Don’t be cruel. According to research, people who sneer, ridicule or talk down to their partner are on a fast track to relationship destruction. Those in successful relationships hardly ever speak to each other that way, even when angry. If you find you want to be cruel to your partner, ask yourself what’s really going on. The fact they haven’t made the bed is never really the issue – it’s far more likely you fear that this means they don’t care about you. Instead of attacking your partner for their laziness, show your true feelings.

Adopt a new narrative. Instead of thinking of your relationship as an arc, with a beginning, middle and an end, try to think of it in terms of the seasons: spring, summer, autumn and winter. Harnessing the idea of seasons can be particularly helpful when couples start a family. Despite the joy that babies bring, they often feel like a bomb going off in a relationship – the exhausting demands of parenthood can feel overwhelming. Yet get through those first few winters of despondency and there will more than likely be the spring of renewal and love rediscovered.

Spending time on your own can help your relationship (Radius Images/Alamy)

'Using "argument enders" will strengthen your connection'

Judy Ford is a psychotherapist, counsellor and the author of 'Every Day Love: The Delicate Art of Caring for Each Other’

Be prepared for surprise and open to change. Love matures and changes as we mature and change. The qualities that make a loving partner are the same qualities that make a loving person. You and your partner are dynamic creatures. Just because you believed one thing when the two of you began your relationship doesn’t mean you will still believe that same thing years, months or even weeks down the road. As the two of you grow, your partner’s desires will change and so will yours.

Understand that you can only develop yourself. We often fall in love with a person who has the qualities that we would like to develop in ourselves. We see all the budding possibilities and are excited to be accepted by such a wonderful and perfect person. Watch out! This sometimes means that rather than developing the qualities in yourself that you would like, you will try to develop the other person’s potential instead, and this creates havoc.

Realise that it is in moments of restlessness and upheaval that you find out who you are and what it truly means to love. It’s easy to be considerate and loving to your partner when the setting is romantic, when you’ve got jingle in your pocket, when you’re looking good and feeling fine. But when one of you is out of sorts, exhausted, overwhelmed and distracted, behaving lovingly requires conscious effort.

Be kind. Becoming a more effective partner is the most efficient way to assure a loving, intimate relationship. Kindness and having your partner’s back are essential. Using “argument enders” and “intimacy builders” will strengthen your connection. Argument enders include: “I never thought of it that way”; “I’d like to think that over”; “Can we continue this discussion tomorrow?”; “You’re right”; “I could have handled that better”; “I’m sorry, please forgive me”; “I know you’re sorry; I forgive you”. Intimacy builders could be: “Help me understand”; “I’m on your side”; “We are in this together”; “Good idea”; “Let’s give it a try”; “We’ll figure it out.”

It’s not about being right or making the other person wrong. Don’t allow your relationship to be about quarrelling. It is about understanding and learning to talk about hot subjects without getting heated. A relationship presents countless opportunities to rise to the occasion and be the best person and partner you can imagine. A relationship is working and playing together, it’s finding delight, joy and comfort in each other. It is about facing difficulties and eventually becoming wise.

Learn to use 'intimacy builders' and 'argument enders' when you disagree with your partner (Image Source Plus/Alamy)

'Forgiveness is not a gift - it's a transaction'

Janis Abrahms Spring, a clinical psychologist and family therapist, is the author of 'After the Affair’ and 'How Can I Forgive You?’

If you have been unfaithful, you must be “giving” to your partner in order to reconnect. We get attached not only by what we receive from our partner, but by what we give to them. Thinking about what matters to them, then consciously reaching out with acts of consideration and affection will not only make them feel closer to you, it may help you to feel closer to them.

Explore the root of an affair in order to move past it. If an affair happens, both partners need to explore why it happened, and ask themselves, “What does the affair say about me, my partner, and us?” Maybe one or both of you felt ignored by the other, maybe you felt dead and the affair brought you to life, maybe you were rebelling against the rules of the marriage the way you’ve rebelled against rules your whole life. Promises never to stray again are meaningless unless the “fault lines” within and between partners are addressed.

If you want to reconnect to your partner, you need to turn toward that person and treat them in ways that foster caring and closeness. You won’t figure out if you want to be with your marriage partner by busying yourself with other people or activities. People often want to feel loved by their partner before they begin the hard work of trying to repair their relationship. But I’ve often found that the opposite works: feelings of love may blossom after you've recommitted, taken a fair share of responsibility for what went wrong in the relationship, and treated your partner in ways that foster trust and intimacy.

Understand the true nature of forgiveness. Forgiveness is not a gift from the heart of a hurt partner – it’s a transaction between the two people held together by a violation. Unfaithful partners must work hard to produce bold, humble, heartfelt acts of repair and take responsibility for the harm they caused. Hurt partners must work hard to encourage their partner to make good, take a share of responsibility for what created a space between them, and allow the injury to recede into the backdrop of their lives.

Work to rebuild intimacy. Becoming sexually intimate is often complicated and challenging, particularly after a troubled time. Both partners need to reach out with tenderness and compassion, recognising they may each feel vulnerable and raw. This is time to take off any pressure to perform and to put aside expectations for high performance and orgasms. The couple’s sexual intimacy will grow if each partner works to warm the space between them with acceptance and affection.

Originally published at http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/sex/relationship-advice-and-romance/11016984/Relationship-advice-five-experts-reveal-the-secrets-to-long-term-love.html

26 Signs You Basically Rock at Being a Couple

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 27 Jun 2015 17:52:00 +0000

People are like puzzle pieces. You search and search for the right ones. You pick up a few that don't fit, and frustratedly place them back in the pile. A few fall on the floor, and you seemingly lose them forever at that point. A few feel absolutely impossible to find. But sometimes, a piece just fits. You don't have to rotate it around. You don't have to force it into the space. It just falls into place seamlessly. Sometimes, relationships are like that, too. Sometimes, you just fit, and it's incredibly clear that you are supposed to be that way. Here are 26 signs that that's the case:

Your personalities complement each other well, and you bring out the brightest, most comfortable versions of each other.
You appreciate and are genuinely interested in each other's passions.
You get along simply as friends, naturally and easily. Even when you do disagree, it's clear that you're working towards the same goal: each other's happiness.
You can just talk and be entertained and content with your own playful banter.
You have similar values and beliefs that you both stand by.
You enjoy the same things, and introduce each other to new interest and hobbies.
Your views don't conflict on major issues, but you are open to discussing the opinions that matter to each of you.
You each make the other person laugh without trying.
You don't have anything that's worth being mad at each other about for longer than an hour... if that.
You trust each other. Even at the core of your insecurities, you know your partner is the person you can depend on.
You have no desire to hold each other back, or control one another.
You function well as a team, and also as two individuals with unique talents and interests.
You each have your own goals and involvements, and support one another.
You fit right into each other's families and friends.
You make each other feel confident, attractive, independent and proud.
You don't need much to have a blast together. Sometimes it's downright comical how much fun you have doing simple activities.
You like the little things about each other.
You try new adventures together.
You're flexible with each other.
You're open to compromise.
You work through the adversity of time, distance and changing circumstances with baby steps, and diligent patience.
You don't have hidden or unaddressed issues. You lay it all out on the table, because for better or for worse you let your partner see all sides of who you are with confidence and security.
You listen to each other.
You openly admit fault.
You don't understand some of the issues other couples have.
You appreciate each other through it all, because you know that no matter what you face together, you're supposed to be together.

You rock at being best friends, which makes you an unstoppable couple. Go give each other a high five or a fist bump, because you're pretty much kicking ass at this whole relationship thing.

Originally published at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lexi-herrick/26-signs-you-basically-rock-at-being-a-couple_b_7666696.html

Love Story - Beautiful Picture Quote

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 27 Jun 2015 17:40:00 +0000

Every love story is beautiful, but ours is my favorite.