Little thought this morning. I am not very well so my Lion is looking after me. He’s worked hard on making me a tower. His speciality!

When he brings it to me he walks steadily, holding it so carefully..with the proudest face on..tongue out. He declares “I made it. Tis for you mummy”

It reminds me of how it may be for God when I come to Him. When sometimes I come bringing worship with a song or speaking to Him in prayer or even just offering a situation into His hands choosing to no longer hold onto it myself. That something which for me seems so huge, so important, maybe I put a lot of time into it and I think it’s something pretty great. Yet I choose to hand it over to Jesus.

Maybe it looks like this to Him

  
My reaction? Total Joy! I…

I feel like at the start of this year has been a real ‘new start’. I’ve never been into ‘new years’ and didn’t start the year making any resolutions or grand plans.

I did, however, ask for God to bless me. I asked for this year to be the year of Abundant Blessing. I wrote a little about this at start of January which you can read. Yet I think it’s interesting what has been happening as a result.

This has happened in ways such as taking responsibility for my health, eating better and seeing the benefits. In my marriage working hard to put it as a main priority, to be kind to my husband and not to turn off the notification of ‘date night’ but actually date him and I love falling in love with him again and again.

The most rewarding thing has to be my faith. My…

In America, I had the amazing opportunity to watch Les Miserables on Broadway! Whaaaaat! I know!

If you know the story you’ll get this post! Though even if you don’t I’ll help it make sense-there are some *spoilers* so you are warned! I just wanted to blog out a couple things it made me think.

The path to prostitution is long

I have worked with many girls like Fantine. The scene where she sells herself- first her necklace, then hair & teeth…then all of herself..Is so painful.

I know some people believe girls choose it. Yet from my experience it is never something that was initially a full happy sensible ‘I always dreamed this for my life’ choice. There is a road that started, often a long time ago, that has sadly resulted here. The way our society twists these things as a mask frustrates me hugely. I shudder walking…

Last night (sunday night) I was a bit at the end of myself, sat basically in a carpark in the ridiculous heat with little Lion crying and irritable next to me. Everything got a bit much, I couldn’t analyse myself so I asked my husband to tell me how I was feeling-a dangerous thing to do! He’s actually quite good at knowing me, he got it spot on..

“You feel out of your comfort zone”

Yep, being here I’ve not had one day where I felt just comfy. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been awesome & we’ve been so well looked after. Yet, within myself I know I’ve felt a big mix of emotions each day.

Since having my Lion, I have stopped working & for his safety I try to stay in my comfort zone. In life generally, I love feeling comfortable. Don’t we all? My leopard onesie, a cup…

I have been at pains, of late, to discover a more erudite and faithful exposition on chapter 2 of St John’s Gospel – on the wedding at Cana – than that preached by the Rev. Dr Thomas Fortheringhame, who served as minister of the parish church of St. Peter’s which stands at one end of a sandy bay on the west coast of Orkney. Of course, the current House of the Lord there is a small square stone utilitarian structure built in the year 1826 by the freely-given labour of all the parishioners; women are said to have carried the stones from the quarry three miles away on their backs, a slow, holy, winter-long procession. But there were churches there before the present church was erected. The inscribed tombs in the churchyard go back to the seventeenth century, and there are older anonymous stones.

The good reverend doctor was the author of…

Fear is often seen as this glaringly obvious emotion. Haloween, horror films, dark forrests.. Yet I’ve found fear to be a sneaky quiet dark weasel that can creep in. As he does, he pushes out faith & peace.

Three years ago I fell down a flight of stairs & slipped three disks in my back. Since then I had a very real fear of falling.

Twenty years ago a cat jumped up at my face & scratched down it. Since then I had a stupidly annoying but real fear of cats.

Seven years ago I started working in prison and the stories I heard & people I met, at times lead to a wrestle with fears. Not really in prison but on the out. Walking places alone, public toilets, people that looked like people I’d met etc.

These are real but often silent fears. Except of cats, I have been…

I cannot imagine the emotions that went on that day.

When people who had loved him now turned and hated him, to the point of death. Where people who had sung his praises now shouted abuse and all kinds of lies spilled out.

Where the ones he had loved,healed, walked with, befriended were nowhere to be seen, hiding in the shadows, even denying all knowledge of him.

The physical pain of torture, of whippings, beatings, carrying the weight of a cross feeling unable to carry on..yet kept going.

Then death, slow, painful beyond words terror of nails through body as it hung on a tree…for me.

The very real and overwhelming pains on sin laid upon a man who himself had never sinned. All that I have felt during my lifetime that has felt overwhelming due to mistakes and poor decisions I have made. The times I have felt at…