anthropology of an urban mama

She Has Grown.

2013-11-04T13:00:00.000-08:00

She has grown.

An apple a day...

And she won't stop growing.

No matter how many times I implore her to do so, she just...won't...stop.

She reads chapter books and listens to boy bands.

She likes to exchange knowing looks when we see other kids acting out in public.

She writes me letters when she is upset with me.

She wears scuffed brown boots and skinny jeans almost every day.

She remembers the name of my boss.

She has given up on the possibility of a younger sibling.

She is a stickler for schedules.

She just wants people to be nice to each other.

She has grown.

And she won't stop growing.

This is a good thing, right?

Booklist: Ruby B.!

2013-01-09T14:51:00.000-08:00

Last night, while AB & I were chatting, she interrupted herself mid-sentence. Her eyes got as big as saucers as she said very excitedly, "Oh, Mom! I forgot to tell you! At school today we saw that picture! Of that girl! Her name is Ruby! Her last name starts with a B! It's the picture we have!"

I had no idea what picture she was talking about, but for some reason the first word that came out of my mouth was "Bridges?"

"YES! Ruby Bridges!" She jumped up and ran to one of our many bookshelves, searching until she found what she was looking for. She handed me a postcard that has this image on it:

The Problem We All Live With by Norman Rockwell

I instantly had a "this is awesome" moment that included the following thoughts:

My kid recognized a famous painting. Awesome!
My kid's teacher is discussing this famous painting and the story behind it. (Super) awesome!
My kid is super psyched about what she learned at school. Awesome!

So, in the spirit of this awesomeness, I decided to make our first booklist of 2013:

The Story of Ruby Bridges by Robert Coles & illustrated by George Ford

Norman Rockwell: Storyteller With A Brush by Beverly Gherman

Ruby Bridges Goes To School: My True Story by Ruby Bridges

Norman Rockwell by Mike Venenzia

Through My Eyes by Ruby Bridges

Norman Rockwell Coloring Book

Happy Reading!

Awesome Girl.

2012-12-31T21:30:00.000-08:00

As the year winds down, AB has undertake a new challenge: learning to ride a bike.

She has been the queen of optimism, while I try to maintain good cheer as I realize that running alongside your newbie cyclist is the mother of all core workouts. After one particularly good run, she grinned at me and said:

"I'm Annabelle the Awesome Girl and I'm never going to give up."

I promptly gave her a high-five and a kiss, then sent her on her merry way again.

Here's to having an "Awesome Girl" attitude in 2013.

Miss Independent.

2012-08-29T15:45:00.000-07:00

Summer is (unofficially) over. AB is back in school. New teacher. New babysitter. New backpack. New kicks. In the mornings when I do her hair, she watches The Electric Company instead of Sesame Street. There is no hassle at the door with shoes because she can tie them herself. At drop-off, instead of walking her to her classroom door she requests that we say our goodbyes about 10 feet away from where her classmates line up because she's a "big girl" now and can go by herself.

This morning she said to me with a huge grin, "Aren't you glad that your child is growing up?" (I kid you not.)

Yes....and no.

It is rather incredible to see her able to do all this new things without my help. It makes me feel like I'm doing a pretty good job at this parenting thing. But at the same time, there is a slight sadness that she doesn't need me to help her do these things anymore. Then I see how excited she is about everything, and the sadness disappears.

As I watched her confidently walk away from me this morning, I had a moment where I thought, there is no going back.

Look out, world, Miss Independent is coming through.

Articles of Interest.

2012-08-08T12:00:00.000-07:00

{Image via The Alantic}

A round-up of interesting articles about books, parenting, creativity, and education from around the web:

8 Great Picture Book Biographies - Reading Rockets
What Grown-Ups Can Learn From Kids Books' - The Atlantic
Gear for a Stellar First Day of School - Daily Candy
How to Read a Victorian Novel - Novel Readings
Back-To-School Blues - My Brown Baby

Happy Reading!

Mommy Guilt Redux.

2012-07-17T10:30:00.000-07:00

I feel like I should be Queen of Transitions at this point given all the various major life shifts I have made over the last 7+ years. Yet, with each one, no matter how much planning I do in preparation, it is a major shock to the system. While all of the changes have been for the better, it always feels not-so-awesome at the beginning because it's just plain different (which often translates into difficult).

The fact that AB is older is a bit of a double-edged sword. The good: We are able to have actual discussions about the changes and all the good things that will come from said changes. The bad: She is able to express her dismay about our being apart in a more mature (= more heartbreaking) way than ever before.

The tears, pleas, and letters (oh, the letters) leave me second guessing, as always, whether I am doing the right thing. I know that I am and I know that I am going to feel guilty. But, I also know that she is going to be fine.

That I'm going to be fine.

That we're going to be fine.

Just as we have been every other time.

29 Ways To Stay Creative

2012-07-11T09:00:00.000-07:00

{video via TO-FU}

29 WAYS TO STAY CREATIVE
1. Make lists
2. Carry a notebook everywhere
3. Try free writing
4. Get away from the computer
5. Quit beating yourself up
6. Take breaks
7. Sing in the shower
8. Drink coffee
9. Listen to new music
10. Be open
11. Surround yourself with creative people
12. Get feedback
13. Collaborate
14. Don't give up
15. Practice
16. Allow yourself to make mistakes
17. Go somewhere new
18. Count your blessings
19. Get lots of rest
20. Take risks
21. Break the rules
22. Don't force it
23. Read a page of the dictionary
24. Create a framework
25. Stop trying to be someone else's perfect
26. Got an idea? Write it down
27. Clean your workspace
28. Have fun
29. Finish something

Hey, Mom!

2012-07-02T09:30:00.000-07:00

There were multiple times this morning when AB interrupted me while I was working. Normally, this would have driven me up the wall. But today, I found it endearing.

The Top 3 Interruptions:

Kiddo tucked the entire hem of her dress into her underwear. She strutted toward me as if on a catwalk: "Hey, Mom! Check out my dress. I like it like this."
Kiddo runs toward me with her favorite yellow cup, mouth full of carrots: "Hey, Mom! I made a snack. It's grapes, raisins, and carrots! It's soooo yummy AND it's good for me!!!"
Kiddo rushes in and plops herself next to me, pressing her tiny warm arm into mine and giving me a kiss (and a whiff of peanut butter breath): "Hey, Mom! I love you! Bye!"

Ditto, my love.

Book Review: Spark & Hustle

2012-06-27T14:30:00.000-07:00

This week there have been an interesting set of articles about the lack of bestselling women business writers. While this may be true statistically, I found it odd because the majority of business books that I read are by women authors. Granted, not all of them are bestselling, but if you look for them, they are there.

One of the most recent business books I have read is Spark & Hustle: Launch and Grow Your Small Business Now by Tory Johnson. It was quite good. I’ve got a bunch of bright orange post-it notes sticking out of it marking concepts, ideas, and systems that resonated with me. The book delivers exactly what it promises in the title. It takes you through the initial idea of starting your own business to launching said business to scaling the growth of your business.

This book is like a small business mentor in a box. In addition to being the founder and CEO of Women For Hire, she is a contributing editor at Success magazine and a contributor for Good Morning America. Not to mention, a wife and mother. She provides plenty of examples both from her own business experience, as well as business owners who have worked with her. So, there is no question that Tory knows what she is writing about. She breaks down the daunting task of starting and managing your own business into actionable chunks. None of the concepts in the book are all that revolutionary (which is true of the majority of the business books on the market), however, her presentation is top-notch.

The best parts of the book were the sales and marketing, the “hustle” of Spark & Hustle. There are a great deal of books out there that help aspiring entrepreneurs to find the spark, but not as many that explain how to execute the hustle. The book covers a lot of topics including product manufacturing and launches, pricing, referral requests “cold calling”, pitching to angel investors, and creating a media kit, just to name a few. The author is honest about the work that is necessary to make your business successful, but definitely makes you feel like it is something that you can tackle. Each chapter ends with “Act Now”, a list of takeaways from the chapter topic that you can immediately act on.

So, if you have ever entertained the notion of starting your own business whether full-time or on the side (and really who hasn’t with this economy), Spark & Hustle is definitely a must-read.

It won’t come down to where (or if) you went to school. It won’t come down to how much (or how little) money you have in the bank. It won’t come down to who you know. It won’t come down to the dream you have. It won’t come down to all the noise and chatter. Your bottom line will ultimately come down to what you do….Don’t get bogged down in assuming you’re lacking this, that or the other. You have exactly what it takes to create the success you envision. Now it’s up to you to put it into action. – Tory Johnson

Book Review: The Great Big Book of Families

2012-06-22T13:25:00.000-07:00

This book makes me super happy. It's a must read for ALL families. It should be in every classroom. It should be required reading in every elementary school. Yes, I feel that strongly about the importance of this book.

The Great Big Book of Families is fantastic. It is a celebration of all different types of families. It encourages a discussion with children about their families with simple text by kidlit veteran Mary Hoffman combine with cartoonist Ros Asquith's fun multicultural illustrations. This book covers everything from homes (some families live in big houses and some live in tiny apartments) to school (some kids are homeschooled) to vacations (some families visit other countries, some go on day trips, and some can't afford it) to feelings (some families are more expressive than others and most importantly, all families are happy all the time) and a great deal more. The Great Big Book of Families ends on the key point that families change due to a variety of things: jobs, feelings, marriages, divorces, births, adoption, etc.). The fact that your family looks one way today does not mean that it will not look a different way next year, next month, or even tomorrow.

AB and I had a great talk about the book. We talked about her friends' families, our own family and even made a family tree like the one in the book. While it may just be the two of us right now (as Mary Hoffman reminds us, "You can be a family with just two people"), her family is much larger than the two of us and there are a great deal of people who care about her even though she doesn't see or talk to them every day.

So, here's a challenge: Ask your child how they see your family today? How do they see their friends families? Their answers might (pleasantly) surprise you.

Articles of Interest

2012-06-21T17:01:00.000-07:00

[image via Mothering]

A round-up of interesting articles about books, parenting, creativity and education from around the web:

Why Women Still Can't Have It All - The Atlantic
Sorry, Lego. THIS is What Awesome Toys for Girls Look Like - Girl Empowerment
Summer Reading List 2012: 10 Essential Books for Cognitive Sunshine- Brain Pickings
Reinventing Education To Teach Creativity And Entrepreneurship - Fast Company: Co.EXIST
Top Picks for Summer Reading: Graphic Novels with African American Characters - School Library Journal
Planting Peace on the Summer Solstice - Mothering

Happy Reading!

Empowering Video: Grasshopper

2012-06-20T15:00:00.000-07:00

On Wednesdays, I share a video that facilitates empowerment because when you know better, you do better.

FYI: Entrepreneurs can change the world.

Proud Mama.

2012-06-18T10:30:00.000-07:00

The past few weeks have been full of milestones big and small for AB. She successfully completed kindergarten, testing well above grade level. (While I hate the thought of my kindergartener being tested at all, it's a spoonful of sugar that she did well.)

Last week, she completed her Lego Robotics camp, rubbing elbows with 4th and 5th graders and holding her own. She even made a new friend, an 8 year old, whom she would trade books with during free time. (Yay, for bookish nerdy kids!)

In addition, she has completed two summer reading programs, receiving two awesome brand spanking new prize books: Smile by Raina Telgemeier & Muggie Maggie by Beverly Cleary.

Proud mama = me.

Therefore, I am ready to let the summer fun of sprinkler dancing, beach excursions, quality time with the grandparents, and book picnics begin.

Articles of Interest.

2012-06-14T13:00:00.000-07:00

A round-up of interesting articles about books, parenting, creativity and education from around the web:

Music of Kindness: Playing Together Strengthens Empathy in Children - Creative Boom

Does Computer Engineering Barbie Discourage Girls From Pursuing Math and Science?- GOOD

A Mr. Rogers Mashup on the Importance of Make-Believe - PBS

Sargent Shriver = The Epitome of A Good Man- Maria Shriver

How to integrate literacy with STEM - The Answer Sheet

Author Nathan Englander Writes A Love Letter to The Moth - The New Yorker

Happy Reading!

Empowering Video: Cheryl Strayed

2012-06-13T10:15:00.000-07:00

On Wednesdays I share a video that facilitates empowerment; because when you know better, you do better.

Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story...

In the Week 2 webisode for Wild, the first selection for Oprah's Book Club 2.0, author Cheryl Strayed reveals how she overcame the fear that set in while hiking the Pacific Crest Trail solo and rewrote her own narrative.

Book Review: Lexie

2012-06-12T11:00:00.000-07:00

Lexie is 10 years old and going to the shore for the first time since her parents' divorce. So this is her first time going without her mom. Shortly before she and her father arrive at the beach house, her father informs her that his girlfriend will be joining them. Lexie has only met Vicky two times. But, she's okay with Vicky maybe coming out for a day. However, when her father tells her that Vicky is staying for the whole week and bringing her kids, Lexie is not pleased. She was looking forward to a week of one-on-one time with her dad.

The reader learns through bits and pieces, comments and observations by Lexie, why her parents' split up. We learn of the effect that the demise of their marriage had on Lexie as she worries about her dad's behavior will lead to a fights with Vicky. After the first few tense moments, she comes to see that Vicky is different than her Mom. The things that would aggravate her mom don't necessarily bother Vicky. In addition, her father acts differently with Vicky. Things that Vicky says that would have caused a fight had Lexie's mom said them, he laughs off.

Lexie is not hoping for her parents to get back together. She has accepted that they will date other people. (she has a good relationship with her mom's boyfriend, George.) but she is not as accepting of having to share her dad with other kids. Yet, her resentment toward moody teenager Ben and sticky-fingered preschooler Harris (who prefers to be called Mack, like the truck) lessen as she spends more time with them.

My only complaint about the novel was that Lexie seemed to come around to quickly to the idea of her father's remarriage. Having a stepfamily sprung on you is a big deal. Yet after spending only a few days with these people, she's okay with it. But after having thought about it more, it does fit with Lexie's character. She isn't upset that her dad is creating a new family. She is angry that he didn't talk to her about it. She got no warning, no heads up that her life was about to drastically change. The author does a wonderful job portraying the awkwardness of two single parents attempting to blend their families. It is also an illustration of the importance of communication with our children. While her father is waiting for the perfect moment to tell Lexie about his plans, she is left feeling out of the loop and abandoned because she doesn't know where she fits in.

Lexie by Audrey Couloumbis is a great summer read for any kid, but especially for kids whose parents are no longer together and beginning to move on with their lives.

Bonus: Illustrations by Julia Denos!

Articles of Interest.

2012-06-07T11:00:00.000-07:00

A round-up of interesting articles about books, parenting, creativity and education from around the web:

Feed Your Kids' Creative Spark with Engineering - PBS Parents
Remembering Ray Bradbury - The Paris Review Daily / Wired / The Guardian
Skipping School: Why One Mother Ditched Her Daughter's State Testing - Babble
Ray Bradbury on Space, Education, and Our Obligation to Future Generations - Brain Pickings
Is Fiction Changing, for Better or Worse? Have novels become more entertaining, and less of a cultural touchstone or a political voice? - NYT Room For Debate
Want To Spark Your Creativity? Go Outside - The Cultured Seed

Happy Reading!

Empowering Video: Dr. Jane Aronson

2012-06-06T10:00:00.000-07:00

On Wednesdays I share a video that facilitates empowerment; because when you know better, you do better.

Dr. Jane Aronson founded Worldwide Orphans Foundation to help orphaned children become healthy, independent and productive members of their communities. In this video from TakePart, she and actor Andrew Garfield talk about a recent trip to Ethiopia and how Andrew is helping further Dr. Aronson's mission.

Book Review: I Had A Favorite Dress

2012-06-04T10:15:00.000-07:00

First things first, this book is fabulous for the illustrations alone. (Julia Denos is one of my favorite illustrators. I dare you not to love her work.) When I came across I Had A Favorite Dress by Boni Ashburn, I was extremely excited. Way more excited than a grown woman (mother or not) should be about a picture book. A little black girl! Pretty pictures! A crafty mother! Creativity! Happiness! More pretty pictures! I was in love with this book. Thankfully, AB humored me. She agreed that it was a very lovely book and that it might be a good idea to keep it. Her appreciation for the book has increased since she acquired a favorite skirt of her very own that she wears on Saturdays.

I Had A Favorite Dress is about an urban mini-fashionista with a favorite dress that she is,to her dismay, starting to outgrow. Her mother says, "Don't make mountains out of molehills, make molehills out of mountains." The little girl decides to make something out of the dress. So, her mother makes the beloved dress into a shirt. When the little girl tears the sleeve, the mother makes it into a tank top. When school starts, her mother makes it into a skirt. When skirts are deemed "out" and pants 'in", the mother makes it into a scarf. And so on, and so forth, until the little girl is left with nothing but a few scraps of the fabric that used to be her favorite dress. She uses the fabric in a collage of herself wearing her favorite dress, making it possible for her to wear the dress every day of every season.

It's a great story about a little girl being creative and resourceful. It also highlights the seasons (including seasonally appropriate clothing) and days of the week. And, oh yes, it has very pretty pictures.

Articles of Interest.

2012-05-31T10:15:00.000-07:00

A round-up of interesting articles about books, parenting, creativity and education from around the web:

Are Enhanced E-Books Bad For Kids? paidContent
The End of Brain, Child Magazine - Motherlode
The World of Beatrix Potter - Steady Mom
Artists Cover Philadelphia Neighborhood in Color - PSFK
Lauren Child's New Girl Detective: Ruby Redfort - Telegraph
The Best Interactive and Pop-Up Books of the Season - New York Times

Happy Reading!

Empowering Video: Adora Svitak

2012-05-30T10:45:00.000-07:00

On Wednesdays I share a video that facilitates empowerment; because when you know better, you do better.

No matter your position or place in life, it is imperative to create opportunities for children so that we can grow up to blow you away.

Child prodigy Adora Svitak schools us on what adults can learn from children in her 2010 TED Talk.

bold ideas + wild creativity + optimism + high expectations = innovation

Book Review: Dog Loves Books

2012-05-29T11:15:00.000-07:00

Now that AB has discovered the joy of chapter books, she tends not to look at picture books as much. But there was one in particular that caught her eye, Dog Loves Books by Louise Yates. I asked AB why she picked this one up, especially since she hadn't really seemed interested in picture books lately, and she said rather matter-of-factly, "I love dogs and I love books." Fair enough.

Dog Loves Books is a story about a dog who, well, loves books. He loves books so much that he decides to open up a bookstore. He works hard to set up the shop and is really excited for the Grand Opening. Unfortunately, no one comes. He putters around trying to keep busy until he finally gets a potential customer. Yay! But the woman thinks he's operating a tea shop and is not interested in books. After a long wait, another customer arrives. Yay! But the man is only asking for directions. So, to Dog's dismay, his first day is not turning out so great. But then he remembers that the best way to pass the time waiting for customers is to read. So, he gets lost in a few good books. Before he knows it, another customer arrives who is actually looking for a book. And since Dog is such a booklover, he know exactly which on to recommend.

The message of this book is that reading is not just a solitary activity. Sure, we read the books by ourselves, but then, we share it. If we loved a book, we tell everyone we can about it. We cannot shut up about it. We find threads of the books theme throughout our relationships and everyday existence. We benefit from other people being the same way. We love recommendations: blurbs on a book we picked up by chance, a booklist the school librarian, the book review section of the newspaper, online literary magazines, or you-should-reads from friends/family/acquaintances/strangers. The sharing of a great book is part of the fun.

So, here's a challenge: share a book that you have enjoyed (or that your kiddo has enjoyed) with one other person. Spread the book love.

Articles of Interest.

2012-05-24T14:30:00.000-07:00

A round-up of interesting articles about books, parenting, creativity and education from around the web:

How A Books Is Born - GalleyCat

Let's Go Reading in the Car - The New York Times

The Top 10 Education Reforms Mom Congress Wants to See - Parenting
New Research: Twenty-Something Moms are More Likely to be Single - ModernMom

50+ Ways to Explore the Great Artists With Your Kids - Creative With Kids

Fisticuffs Over the Care and Keeping of Books - Book Riot

Happy Reading!

Empowering Video: Neil Gaiman

2012-05-23T10:30:00.000-07:00

On Wednesdays I share a video that facilitates empowerment; because when you know better, you do better.

The old rules are crumbling and nobody know what the new rules are. So, make up your own rules.

Neil Gaiman's (Fantastic, Amazing, Wonderful) Advice

1. When you start out on a career in the arts you have no idea what you are doing.

(And this is a good thing.)

2. If you have an idea of what you want to make, what you were put here to do, then just go and do that.

3. A freelance life, a life in the arts, is sometimes like putting messages in bottles, on a desert island, and hoping that someone will find one of your bottles and open it and read it, and put something in a bottle that will wash its way back to you: appreciation, or a commission, or money, or love. And you have to accept that you may put out a hundred things for every bottle that winds up coming back.

4. Make mistakes. If you're making mistakes, it means you're out there doing something. And the mistakes in themselves can be useful....Life is sometimes hard. Things go wrong, in life and in love and in business and in friendship and in health and in all the other ways that life can go wrong. And when things get tough, this is what you should do. Make good art.

5. Make your art. Do the stuff that only you can do.

6. People keep working, in a freelance world, and more and more of today's world is freelance, because their work is good, and because they are easy to get along with, and because they deliver the work on time. And you don't even need all three. Two out of three is fine.

7. Let go and enjoy the ride, because the ride takes you to to some remarkable and unexpected places.

Needless to say, this speech is an instant classic that will go up there with David Foster Wallace's "This Is Water" and Steve Jobs' "Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish". The speech is chock-full of inspiration, regardless of whether you have a career in the arts or not. Your "art" is your thing. The thing that you do better than anyone else. The thing that makes your heart sing and time stand still. So, we should all take this advice (or rather, reminder) to heart.

Go forth and do great things.

Maker Faire Excitement.

2012-05-21T11:00:00.000-07:00

Thanks to the wonderful folks at GE, I got complimentary passes to the Maker Faire Bay Area. I took AB and my sister. It was fantastic. We were able to see all sorts of things. Some of the highlights included:

A great talk by Kipp Bradford, an engineering professor and online tech editor at Make magazine, titled, "Where Are All The Black Makers?"
The Bazaar Bizarre filled with tons of crafty goodness
Holistic Hula Hooping, which is an great concept because after you hula hoop, you can help but be happy and have a bit of a brighter view of life
Extremely tasty food (I had quite the love affair with my cheeseburger)
The Pedal for Power Music Stage powered by volunteer pedalers
A Trojan Horse built out of cardboard by PenfoldPlant

The best part about it was the welcoming and jovial atmosphere. Even if you are not an engineer-y, tech-y, STEM oriented type of person you couldn't help but marvel at the things that people had created. The kicker was that those people wanted to explain their creations to you in the kindest, least pretentious, most educational, inspiring way. The crafters wanted to explain their process to you, why they use the materials they use, and what inspired their pieces. It was truly a makers' fair. You walked away from it thinking, "Wow, people are really doing some amazing stuff in the world."

AB's excitement about everything made me excited for everything that she has the ability to do and learn. (It definitely made me certain that enrolling her in a robotics camp this summer was a good idea.) She likes to make things and she loves her HexBugs. Make even sells a kit for making a DIY version called BrushBots from a toothbrush, pager motor, and coin cell battery.

Kipp's talk about the seeming absence of "Black Makers" was really interesting. Not every awesome thing that happens in this world needs to be tied to race. Audience members commented that Black Makers are everywhere, but a lot of them don't want to be known for being a Black Maker, they want to be known for whatever product or device they are making or the creative solution they are providing. However, I think that he was making a valid point that it is important for young minority kids to see themselves reflected in their role models. Therefore, it is important to see prominent minority Makers, whether they be engineers, scientists, programmers, mathematicians or crafters.

Overall, Makeput on a beautiful event. Who knows, next year I may be tagging along with AB as a Young Maker extraordinaire.