Anusha's Ramblings

Language R(u/o)les

2026-04-10T08:11:00.002+05:30

If we have no language, would we have no thoughts?
But in dreams we understand without words fraught.
So what does language do, one wonders
Sapir-Whorf said it shapes our world-view, but "NO" say others.

The language you first spoke, does it inform you
How to perceive the world, does it limit you?
NS Prabhu said in a lecture, teaching a child
A language kills a possible thousand others - WILD!
Yet, the human capacity to create
Would best be seen in how we communicate
Sounds become words become meaning
Learning becomes thinking becomes being.

So when we go to school
And learn in a language not our own
Do we then learn differently, lessly?
Or does another language open us to more possibilities?
Both says research: Learn unknown concepts in a well-known language
Learn known concepts in unknown languages
The brain will build pathways neural
That will create a highway for ideas novel
Linking parts of brain diversely laid
Each brain uniquely wired much like fingerprints are on us traced.

Learn in one's home language or languages
Especially, in the younger ages
To understand better, to dig deeper, to think wider
To question harder, to laugh louder, to feel safer
All these part of the learning process
All these contributing to lifelong success.

In this age of migration and interstate marriages
A child's home may have many, many languages
English may be more spoken at home
So mother tongue instruction is not the right term.

But in many homes of India still,
What one hears is a language. One. Single.
That language may not be of the community
That language may not in school too have any identity
Then how does the child communicate
Away from home already feeling lost and desperate?
How does the child learn concepts new
When the tools to access them, themselves, feel taboo?

How does the brain learn?
How do thoughts form?
How do we communicate?
How do we create?
How do we reflect?
How do we grow?
How do we become?

Through language or more?
Questions galore.
Answers we explore
The writing may be mine, but we each have the floor.

— Written on 9 April 2026.

— As I read through a compilation of notes and blogs and scrap wtitings I have on Language and its teaching and learning, this kind of flowed. Am thinking of compiling them all as a reader with the help of GenAI.

The Combatorial Relationship

2025-10-30T21:53:00.004+05:30

People who know us know how we differ.
Father-daughter jodi we have been never-ever.
But many of the gifts I have I owe him - a lot.
Cousins I call friends are due to relations he maintained despite all odds.
Family I bank upon today
Are ones for whom he went out of his way.

My self reliance too he shaped -
Even if it was to conventionally dissuade
I had to prove him wrong and took every step with determination and caution.
What he scarce realised is how he cemented my rebellion 😜

My mother, of course, has shaped me as a friend, a guide, a mentor.
He is the rock against whom I sharpened my mettle - bitter and better.
Ready to face the world my armour so much more stronger.
Fighting him helped me better ward off any other baiter.

He can't hear us well now, refuses an updated earpiece,
Maybe he knows this way from us he gets some peace.
My brother and I exasperatedly commiserate
We still need be loud for him to register our take. 🔊

Today on his Sadabhishekam as I see him compromise from his early stand,
Even as he does not realise how much we too have downwards backed.
Still his terror, his roar and thunder, muted now seem temporarily benign
I smile, I wish him well and much health for as a patient he is NOT designed 😅

Sadabhishekam, 1000+ full moon sightings:
Happy Birthday, Appa, cheers, we survived and will continue through all the fightings. 🤜🤛

— Written on 27 October 2025 as we prepared for the Sadabhishekam that typically occurs after 80 years 8 months but Appa celebrated post 84.

— Self-explanatory.

PC: Pushpa Chithi

Happy Diwali 2025 - Keep Faith

2025-10-19T23:09:00.004+05:30

When fear hounds the corridors we know,

When lamps sway as strong winds blow,

But know when they flicker, small but bright,

They whisper softly, "Darkness ends with light."

Keep faith when the night is long,

When even the moon forgets its song.

Keep faith, not loud, not blind, not vain,

But the kind that stands firmly again and again.

Keep faith when truth feels small, unheard,

When even silence trembles at the unspoken word.

Keep faith when justice walks too slow,

When hearts are heavy, let kindness glow.

So light your lamp, though eyes may sting,

Let compassion and courage be the prayer you sing.

When hearts grow weary, shed a tear,

But let hope outshine the dark of fear.

For even the longest night must part,

When hope is carried within the heart.

For every battle born of strife

Becomes a song restoring life.

Diwali holds myths galore

That speak of ethics through timeless lore.

Remember Nachiketa’s quest for truth from Yama even,

Remember Satyabhama’s defeat of Narakasura — upholding right, not relation.

Faith is no temple carved in stone,

It flickers, it falters, yet carves paths its own.

This Diwali, let courage rise,

In faith, we find our sunrise.

- Written on 19 October 2025.

- This Diwali feels quieter, heavier, not because the lamps are fewer, but because the shadows feel nearer. When fear hounds the corridors we know, keeping faith is no longer ritual; it becomes resistance.

Across our myths, light has never been a simple metaphor, it is courage questioned, tested, and kindled anew.

In the Katha Upanishad, Nachiketa, a young boy, is offered every comfort by Yama, the God of Death, if only he will stop asking about the truth of existence. Yet he persists, seeking knowledge over reward, truth over consolation. He practices faith as inquiry, not submission.

And in the Bhagavata Purana, Satyabhama, Krishna’s consort, rises to fight Narakasura, the tyrant who imprisoned thousands, 16,000 women to be precise. Her act was not revenge but resolve: to restore dignity and freedom, even when power stood close to home. Narakasura, you see, was her, Bhumi's, son.

Both these lores remind us that faith is not blind obedience or silence; it is the flame of conscience that refuses to die out, even when the winds are harsh.

This poem was written in a week when courage feels both fragile and necessary; a week when the word faith carries the weight of justice, fear, and collective hope.

References:
At least 10 TISS students booked over G N Saibaba death anniversary event | Mumbai News - The Indian Express https://share.google/NyqyQWJvtOBy4fbD2

https://thewire.in/rights/mumbai-police-detain-tiss-students-gn-saibaba-event

https://www.outlookindia.com/national/student-crackdown-in-tiss-raises-alarm

https://www.newslaundry.com/2025/10/17/tiss-saibaba-case-complainant-says-fir-imposed-cops-named-her-without-consent

https://m.thewire.in/article/education/full-text-teaching-a-lesson-academic-freedom-and-the-indian-state

In the card/digital painting, I have written

Cold, lonely nights

Stong winds that blight:

The lamps that offer some light,

Shaking even trees that stand upright.

Faith, Hope, Courage —

we persevere

Diwali's Message: when it gets darker,

shine brighter, farther, longer.

Thank YOU, Athai

2025-08-28T15:03:00.001+05:30

In less than an hour I am fed ek big glass of adrak wali chai
And piping hot dosas with mint chutney and sambhar and molghapudi on the side.
They are old, we should serve them,
But oh what bliss, what comfort in good cooked by them.
Not because it took effort (though that too), but one feel the love
In the amrud cut and served with chatpata powder and the neyiappam to kill for.
That one can demand, one can expect,
That one's wishes are never met with neglect.
But more, the scene that is etched in memory
Is of ever athai waiting to greet me.
She patiently standing on the road, ready to direct,
Every step that I take has but just 1 regret,
Why this long interim, why did I not visit sooner
I hope she realises how much she means to me, my succour.

— Written on 22 August 2025.

— On 21 August 2025, I went to visit my Athai in Hyderabad after a LONG day. Hence... :)

Happy Ganesh Chathurthi - 2025

2025-08-28T15:01:00.000+05:30

Happy Ganesh Chathurthi!

Another Ganesh Chathurthi rolls by,

Stories, myths, lores all remind:

This Lord of Plenty wants nothing,

Invoked the first, gives way to other beings.

He makes an art of 'jugaad', the Ekdantaya,

He works as scribe, the Granta geyaya.

The brave, gigantic one riding a tiny mouse,

Reminding us to NOT show off

The one who never forgot his roots,

This son of Gauri, and only Gauri, foremost.

For these lessons and more, we are blessed truly,

Deemahi, deemahi, deemahi.

— Written on 27 August 2025

— Self-explanatory

FB:

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1EeDEevHXw/

IG:

https://www.instagram.com/p/DN3humtVJKb/?igsh=MTBjMTBmcjZld3l0bA==

Happy Diwali, 2024!

2024-10-31T22:01:00.001+05:30

🌟✴️✴️Happy Diwali, 2024, everyone!

Warning: Read ahead only at own peril :) Annual outpouring follows,😜

The festival of lights is here again

The mood to cheer is not kickstarting the brain.

Somehow the old woes still remain

Somehow all my thoughts reel out a tired old refrain.

Not pollution, not more artificial lights,

Let us evolve, seek inward true delights.

Realization of ourselves and the cosmos,

Harmonizing with nature and thoughts foremost.

Being generous to others but also oneself,

Digging deep to find meaning not scrolling through the internet or from books off a shelf.

Reflecting, communing, creating, finding peace,

Shredding, cleansing, rejuvenating, our awareness, we increase,

That's light that lit up the darkest of days and nights,

The Amavas of ignorance resides in us, we need be our own guiding light.

- Written on 31 October 2024.

- Diwali day. Self-explanatory. Also on FB and IG.

An अनमोल Ratan

2024-10-31T21:54:00.003+05:30

Death comes, life goes.

We grieve, we express our woes.

A bright light extinguished, the world might seem darker.

But the many more lights he enabled, we need remember.

An example of humility, wit and grace.

An example of how humanity we can raise.

A doer, a thinker and a feeler, a rare combination.

The legacy he left behind beyond any commemoration.

We mourn his loss, but he would have said,

Strive for everyone's betterment, forge ahead.

Development for all, a vision dear.

Perseverance against odds even if seemingly defeat near.

Quietly working for India's pride,

He has taught us how economics need not be our only guide.

The world is one and all are equal:

The legacy by JRD, Ratan carried forward in a seamless sequel.

He lives on through his words, his actions.

He lives on in so many hearts and minds that for him know no factions.

He truly united us all across castes, genders, religions, classes and nationalities,

His 'opponents' admire him, that's how mighty his creed.

Yes, today, a light extinguished and we grieve.

But his legacy is everlasting, which we need celebrate and strive to his vision achieve.

- Written on 10 October 2024.

- Ratan Tata passed away on 09 October 2024.

Note:

Some public losses feel very, very personal.

I work at a Centre within an Institute that is a legacy of Tatas and on a project that continues that Mr Ratan Tata was directly involved in during the initial phase.

Posted on FB and LI.

Happy Birthday, Amma! 2024

2024-09-16T08:52:00.003+05:30

2022, we lost you

2024, we miss you

Years pass, the loss stings less

But suddenly one remembers and it is not painless

As I tried remembering who gifted me

A dress, a chain, an art piece

I turned to ask you, as I usually would

But you were not there and it hurt good

The memory of the gifting I had forgotten I realized,

Coz I had not enough times with you the incident revised

Our late night talks, the reminisce of gratitude

Our random tête-à-têtes that contextualised actions and attitudes.

All the learnings and wisdom and processing that I miss now

The way your words just made me see light somehow.

The tiredness of the loneliness of the soul

Even though friends will gladly me cajole or console,

It is not same. It is not you, Amma.

It is not the reprimand mixed with love and laughs.

Happy Birthday! Have fun wherever you be

And don't worry, I don't need your slap. I will stop being gloomy 😜

- Written on 16 September 2024.
- Self-explanatory. But it does feel that I am wishing her more post her death than I made an event of it all the years she was alive. We were never the birthday celebrating family :D. She would actually hate all this sentimentality and have given me a good talking to at the very least. Bah! Humbug! Much ado about nothing! :)

Happy Ganesh Chaturthi, 2024!

2024-09-11T09:31:00.004+05:30

Ganesha, we welcome you again,

In our hearts and homes you reign.

Can you but stay longer,

Such that you change our practices forever?

We need you, but more in our brains,

So we can understand what are true gains.

To waste not, want not more than we need,

To succumb not to selfishness and greed.

To protect the vulnerable and the weak,

To treat equally all that breathe.

To ensure that truth prevails,

That the environment, we will not fail.

Ganesha, you prove

That a large body need but a mouse to move.

Then why do we hoard so?

Why can't we see beyond the glitter glow?

You are here today, and on 17 Sep we will you immerse,

And ask that you return soon to bless us from these waters.

But could you just ensure before you go

That we will act, we will tread the right path that we know?

Could you ensure that we know what is right?

And ensure for that we have the courage and skills to fight?

Ganesha, Mangal Murti, who needs no such form,

Ganesha, Sarvatman, Siddhipriya, help us reform.

Happy Ganesh Chaturthi, 2024!

- Written on 7 Sep 2024.

- Vinayaka Chathurthi was on Sat, 7 Sep and Anant Chathurthi is on 17 Sep this year.

Link to FB post (also on IG)

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/eQcvdatCxDR3A4Xk/?mibextid=oFDknk

Happy Teacher's Day, 2024

2024-09-11T09:23:00.005+05:30

Teacher's Day dawns again

'Educate. Liberate.' - the refrain.

Now when the educated are shackled

When voices raised are to silence heckled

When daring is replaced by fears

When imagination only lands one in tears

When to question is decried as a crime

When to even think differently goes against the prevailing clime.

Now when the world needs saving from human greed

When wants are confused with need

When wars ravage for no known cause

When calamities are ignored with humanity on pause.

Now, is when we need education more than ever

An inspirer, a motivator, a dreamer, a doer,

An activist, a thinker, a fearless leader:

A TEACHER.

Happy Teacher's Day!

Catalyse education and liberation each and every day :)

- Written and drawn on 5 Sep 2024.

- Self-explanatory.

Link to post on Facebook (also on IG) -

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/ZNd1eNPm2g3TLJKN/?mibextid=oFDknk

At what point?

2024-09-09T08:25:00.003+05:30

At what point do we say enough is enough?
At what point need we finally act tough?
Does compromise lead to more compromise?
Do relationships and contexts improve because one sacrificed?
A matter of a few thousands or a couple of days
Or a matter of dignity, of respect, of better, rightful ways?
A matter of rights alone or also justice
A matter of individuals or a whole practice?
Should we compromise when we need not?
When we choose the lesser evil, it still is evil, is it not?
When standing up might mean lessons learned for the future?
If nothing else, that we stood true to our souls could reassure?
Should we really swallow our basic pride?
Can we really build futures when principles are cast aside?

-Written on 01 August 2024.

- See Media Coverage of Higher Education around this time.

ISEL Team Kudos! ELS 2024

2024-09-09T08:22:00.004+05:30

An online conference does not feel so rewarding
To the organisers who oft only hear us complaining
They cannot see the smiles on our faces as we engage with ideas exemplary/
The "waah" moment or the spontaneous claps we give unwittingly.
We type, but not as often and not as quickly
And the texts do not always relay our appreciation and sincerity
But thank you for enabling these amazing events year on year
To the ISEL Team kudos and cheers!

In addition to the great choice of sessions and the extremely helpful team at all times, I think the excellent tech support and the overall team spirit that was seen as your team also supported each other as much as us and the WONDERFUL TIME MANAGEMENT and the COMMUNICATION across so many channels with timely reminders was so wonderful and really a learning experience in itself.
____

- Written on 27 July 2024

- Self-Explanatory. Last day of ISEL English Literature Summit 2024.

RESET Mode - Out of Service :(

2024-07-26T15:22:00.002+05:30

Swallowing is a pain, seemingly impossible

Even breathing feels difficult, the passage of air untenable

Yet, somehow through the aches and fever

One continues mindlessly to persevere

But for what purpose, why,

It takes resetting out of automode, to dedication belie

To ponder what will happen if one truly rests

Is one afraid that switching off will mean never recovering the work zest?

Isn't that a good thing though?

Reset, refocus, reevaluate, refine, remake yourself?

- Written on 26 July 2024.
- Tonsilitis :(

Thoughts on Change and Our Own (In)Action

2024-07-26T15:21:00.003+05:30

We say the institute has lost its glory

We say it is in a plight so sorry

Yet we speak and do nothing much

We share ideas and look to others

To do the right thing

We have just too much on our plate going

There is worry and fear of persecution and more

Of opportunities in future lost, if for now we create a furore

And so we choose, to speak, but not do

To lament galore, but not dare choose

To unite, to fight, to last out this grim twilight

We are human, we can be selfish or simply cower in fright

We are educators, a beacon of hope,

But there are times when we too need support

If we want change, we might need way more courage

With our own and others lives, futures and hopes to play.

If we have chosen to sit out, we need make our peace.

And if we have given it our best, we can rest easy.

Can we stand now together, we have yet to see

Will we or this institute make it, dunno, whatever it be, it won't be easy.

- Written on 14 July 2024
- Look up news around this :|

The Cocoon of Hypocrisy

2024-07-26T15:06:00.002+05:30

I have thoughts

That go against the grain sometimes

I have feelings

That may seem crazy sometimes

I used to scream them out loud

When did I stop? When did I last myself out?

I cared not when people disagreed

But now I tread more carefully

My actions and words affect more than me

And isn't my muzzling myself a mockery

Of all my learning and preaching

When I speak so carefully

That my authentic self is lost in misery

Of silence, of hypocrisy

But cocoons we weave around ourselves

For in this world we know not who, when, why will target ours and us.

- Written on 11 July 2024
- Random Thoughts

Incomplete Thoughts Penned :)

2024-07-26T15:03:00.004+05:30

With a passion to write

A pen worthy of being the scribe

The tool aiding thoughts

So fleeting that are often lost

Now penned fluently like a river in flow

Nary an obstacle that delivers a blow

Such is the power of writing

It aids one's thinking

Once one starts, it is difficult to stop

Thoughts, emotions all on paper burst out

Beautiful, not always complete

Yet one sighs, walks away feeling replete.

- Written on 6 June 2024.
- I think I got a new pen that day and wrote on the scrap I had next to me :)

Voting - Ordinary?

2024-07-26T14:59:00.003+05:30

Tomorrow is election

In my district we need make our selection

As I check our papers to vote

I can't help but note

How this privilege was bestowed on me

That I could have this duty.

I visited Alipore Jail Musuem this January 2024

I came away shook, I did blink away tears galore

There is a display of letters there

That showcase patriotism, love, youth, deep thoughts and care

A display of ordinary people capturing ordinary moments

Yet they were in jail for a cause, suffering beyond our imagination

The audio of a British soldier whipping a prison inmate

The casualness of a barber shaving just a bit away

But more than those figurines in the prison

The letters gallery haunts me now even.

The letters in Bengali or Hindi, translated into English

Can't wholly convey the pride nor the anguish

Of the writer nor the reader

But they touch 😭, they torch, they inspire, they are a reminder

Ordinary people, ordinary moments, doing one's duty

A kind word, a kind deed

Will live on in someone's memory

Sparking more revolutions for freedom and peace.

- Written on 19 May 2024.
- Self-Explanatory

See IG post related to this from me. :)

Choices: Staying Safe or Voice Out Loud

2024-07-26T14:55:00.000+05:30

I used to have a voice that I allowed to resonate

My thoughts, my feelings, as they appeared or were made

But slowly over the years past

It is in caution that I bask

So much so that I even share and like

With so much more self-saving discernment than is right

If in a cocoon one stays, then what use education

If one oppresses one's passion and opinions, then what use education?

Am I afraid someone will pay the price for what I say

But if we never do, then isn't that a danger more grave?

Staying safe, voicing in small circles will not a change create

Step out, speak up, speak loud, unafraid.

- Written on 5 May 2024
- I seem to feeling more and more stifled these days and mostly the one doing the stifling and censorship is me!! Need to be brave and shout out. :)

Gone for 2 Years

2024-07-26T14:52:00.003+05:30

Gone for 2 years now,

Yet I speak of you, to you almost everyday somehow.

Your presence even in absence is immense

The legacy of values and attitudes you instilled is your essence.

K and I reminisce at times,

Your razor sharp wit and the impact of illhealth and time.

Just last week we spoke of how you let us bunk school

To laze in on a morning, to eat pani puri of your making, to just chill, since you were so cool.

And yet, you ensured we learnt, the essence of lessons,

For you wanted most for us health and education

Not those that come as degrees,

But that are rooted in sense and sensibilities

Perhaps we don't live up to it as much.

- Written on 20 April 2024.
- Self-Explanatory

Jane Austen's Mansfield Park - Some Initial Thoughts for a Book Chapter

2024-07-26T14:42:00.006+05:30

In this day and age the morality bespoke

In the novel is neither some nor whole 😁😜

The ideas seem frivolous,

The characters worthless,

The adultery, the clergy,

The exaggerated bucolic pastorality,

All seem to echo

Mansfield Park is not even worth as retro.

Yet, something beckons, even if for just the lines

That belie age and space confines

'Selfishness must always be forgiven, you know,

For there is no hope of a cure'

More such gems in the novel lie

Reading and counter reading into Mansfield Park one can still pry :)

If you want the more staidly constructed argument then here goes

This article focuses on reading both the lines and the liminal spaces between the lines of Jane Austen's Mansfield Park using the lens of New Historicism primarily in a neoliberal world to examine the value ascribed to people and things in the novel and the values characters hold or develop in the course of the narrative.

"We have all a better guide in ourselves, if we would attend to it, than any other person can be” are lines from Mansfield Park, but is the inner guide devoid of external influences such as exposure even as Austen at times interchanges the aesthetic with the moral. To what extent and in what form do insights from Mansfield Park relate to norms, mores and aims of contemporary times will be dealt with in the article.

The Hole

2024-04-05T21:45:00.000+05:30

Always, always sliding into the hole makes me wonder
Why am I here? Why do I bother?
What will be, will be
One is living reasonably well, so why bring on agony?

Yet as I grow older,
Become oddly both more fearful and bolder,
I chase the unknown to know better
Find the dark spots, study them to see if they matter.

As I am slid out, invariably my eyes have to blink harder
To cope with the light that does NOT the fears asunder
In the cocoon it was easier to escape,
Now there are folks to pretend to - everything is OK.

In these times, work comes to the rescue
The opportunity to focus on small, petty issues
Not that report that needs tweaking or the paper that needs writing or the thesis that needs reviewing or the assignment that needs grading,
No, just the admin that otherwise is frustrating, the messages, mostly banal, that tempt reading or the IG reels that facilitate mindless viewing.

Fear, one knows not how it surfaces
Even as one is cheerful, it rears to knock you in your face.
Pretence gets you far enough, but then your energy drains,
Then you read your friend's messages and once more you are sane. /you regain.

- Written on 5 April 2024.

- I think I am channeling too many doc visits and scans.

Shut out the World

2024-04-05T21:42:00.003+05:30

I want to shut out the world
Every voice, every colour everything makes my mind whirl
In the cesspool of pain, doubts and anxieties
Nameless, baseless, though they be, still they suck away one's energies.
So, I want to sleep, or at least try to
Curled in my corner, under a blanket, a safe space retreat to
I can do nothing, move not, think not,
Yet I worry, I try for what I know not.

- Written on 26 February 2024.

- This year has been exhausting somehow.

To My Suitcase

2024-02-04T06:23:00.004+05:30

You deserve a post all your own

My companion on so many journeys unknown

Grey, fading into the background

Faithful, easy to pull around

Lightweight, carrying a punch and more

Easy going through the seasons of rain, sun and snow.

You gave up on this Mizoram-Kolkata-Raipur-Mumbai trip

Goodbye, my suitcase, Thank you for your service,

You will be missed, for sure, yes.

But for now, take a well deserved rest.

- Written on 1 Feb 2024.

- Self-explanatory, but after being with me since 2016 on numerous trips, the last fling (literally and metaphorically) of the airlines on a trip from Mumbai-Aizawl, suitcase that I use as check-in or cabin as suits, broke. It still lasted me on the journey from Aizawl to Kolkata, from Kolkata to Raipur and Raipur to back home.

FB Post Link: https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid02czJbVTDof9WpVXn5jYh6NbdesraHBp6CWmFZWbtz6fQbXySiuu93biN8tjKgRUL5l&id=692626229&mibextid=2JQ9oc

IG: https://www.instagram.com/p/C20Ai9tJ_bB/?igsh=MWN3bHowbHFvcG9xYw==

Reality Mirrored

2024-01-22T11:48:00.006+05:30

Mirrors: We see ourselves, yet not
In these things that reflect light
Be it the still lake or a clear cloud or glass
We find ourselves judging our present and our past.
Yet mirrors can distort reality too
The car's rear view mirror draws objects further from you
So dangerous if we know not this perspective
It can lead to a death edict
Snow White's stepmother may have been told the truth
But mostly in mirrors we see what we want to
The most 'beautiful' person can spot a blemish or two
The 'ugly' could look beautiful too.
'Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder'
So today even more I ponder
What does the mirror tell us
As a holiday is given for a temple constructed
Its base the ruins of a mosque
Of a line cast that had the country torn apart
In the name of God who urged peace and sacrifice
In the name of a God to whom not all ascribed
But today, God is created by us more than we by him
Hymns we sing are stories we weave to please our whims.

22 Jan holds more terror more for me than the Babri Masjid fall
With no protests, no riots, no fiery street debate wars
Then, we had fiery editorials, and more people openly appalled
That the Constitution was repelled, that divisions we spawned
Today, we keep silent wondering if to post at all
Fearing repercussions beyond hate posts or calls.
I remember us peperring our school walls against the demolition
Today, I think twice about a Facebook post expressing abhorment
I have abrogated my rights for so called safety
Economics and politics and so-called institutional duty
What the mirror tells me today, I like not
A spineless creature supposedly distraught by life fraught.

- Written on 22 Jan 2024.

- 22 Jan declared a holiday in many states and at the Central Govt level as a half day for 'Pran Pratishtan' at Ayodhya for the Ram Mandir.

I can feel my pran slowly fading as I voice less and less of my angst and retract myself into my shell.

And yes, I know someone will take my case for wanting riots, but it is not the violence, but the of freedom of expression that I yearn for and its loss that I lament.

There are times when I regret joining TISS full time.

Today is one of them.

I would have in the past posted my thoughts for my thoughts would not have been equated with 'my institution' and 'my institute' would not have to bear the brunt for opinions it did not endorse. At worst, I would have been disowned as 'visiting' or 'contractual' and I would have put in my papers and walked my path.

But now I hold back. I am thinking admissions, UGC withholding pay, TISSians targetted. Somehow, my opinion being a feeder for more hate-mongering.

And I am not able to bring myself to do anything else as somehow, viscerally, I feel incapacitated.

I am consuming more and more and more of those who are expressing some concern, some dissent and feeling more helpless, more worthless.

As I head to Mizoram, am going to retreat into my shell. Hopefully, the mountains will revive my faith in the larger play of things and in humanity and secularism and such.

For now I share this here when I would have felt better sharing on a more public platform. I feel like Alice but in Orwellian dystopia.

https://anuthik.blogspot.com/2024/01/reality-mirrored.html

The Temple of Despair - 2024

2024-01-22T11:44:00.001+05:30

A temple stands on ruins
Unity in diversity undermined.
A structure built worth crores
Holidays declared worth even more.
Who worships whom and what, one know not,
But these are not the values we were ever taught.
Pride in oneself, one's customs, yes, but never at other's cost.
If we care not for each other, we are the ones lost.
But temples are espoused, politics and religion forged anew,
Truth lies in shards, all contrary opinions subdued.
My country, my pride, my brethren, I cry
Every day I speak dulcetly, while demanding not my own but others' sacrifice.
Understanding they should be, I cry in sympathy,
As if that were enough, these tokenism paltry.
No action, nothing concrete, no placing my neck on the line,
No courting jail or worse, no nothing, but some futile lines written in rhyme.

- Written on 20 Jan 2024

- Ram Mandir in Ayodhya. 22 Jan declared holiday in many states and at Central Govt level half day for 'Pran Pratishtan'.

My heart bleeds.