Anxiety and Depression Support with Kim

Please post......

2012-03-21T14:36:00.002-07:00

If there is something you want to talk about, i will help you. I know that i was going to shut this down, but i can't. If i can reach one person. I have succeeded, please just a hello post to let me know that i make you want to visit again. {HUGS}.

Goodbye

2012-03-18T04:49:00.002-07:00

this is goodbye...i wish you all the best....i failed at this....thank you for all that has supported me....Kim

I finally broke down and went to the ER.....

2012-03-12T16:41:00.001-07:00

Yes i did, I have an ulcer. I also have a bacteria called H Pyloria. It causes ulcers. I have meds that i have to take for 14 days and i should be good as new. Please help me pray that it helps, i also have GERD, i will have it the rest of my life. I prayed the whole way to the ER about test, i was going to step up and do them if i had to because i was tired of hurting. But all he did was blood work. Sorry i have not been around much i have been busy and just so tired. I have been so depressed lately, and i have to go to the Dr. tomorrow and i'am afraid to tell him that because i have finally got down to seeing him every 2 mnths, and i don't want to back up. Because he really does not help me, i help me get better, and spring is coming and i'am so looking forward to that going to get the yard nice and take the boys swimming. I will not be in this house like i was last summer. I bought a swim suit it still has the tags on it. I will be going this summer, and i can't wait till my sister comes out. I miss talking to her she is so busy these days, but we were close. I will text her she will text me back and i answer and she never answers back it hurts, because she is my rock. Please help me pray that i don't hurt tonight. I think that i ate to much and i'am so scared that it is going to hurt and ya'll it hurts so bad. And it last from 4 to 6 to 8 hrs. I ate early and took my meds already so maybe that med will calm it. I'am sorry to be such a baby, but it hurts and i know there are people that come here that pray and i know that you will remember me in prayer.

This week has started out ok, i'am alive, i'am healthy, i have my family here. I could not ask for more at this time. HUGS to all of you!!!!!

Just Thinking...........

2012-03-08T19:45:00.001-08:00

I'm sitting here thinking how much it would mean to me not to have any troubles. I mean i know that us adults have them. We worry a lot in my case i worry a lot. I see my boys so happy, they are doing so well in School. I'm just a proud mom, and they had to be given a mom that hardly leaves the house. On had a track meet i could not go i had a horrible attack with my stomach last night it started at about 9 last night and woke me up on and off till about 4. I woke up and felt as though someone had beat me in the tummy, on of the worst. All i had to depend on was my boys and they tried to help me, it was all i could do to get their things ready for School. When i lye down it hurts worse.

Depression this week a bad week on being depressed. I don't know you guys, i just want to get better. I need to get my vitamin b shots but we can't afford them. So I will have to start all over again to keep the levels up, and i hate that because i was doing better. Please post let me know you are getting something out of what i write. {HUGS}

Hello..........

2012-03-08T11:51:00.002-08:00

How have you all been? me OK, i have been dealing with tummy problems. I go to the Dr. next week and i think that I'm going to up the meds. I have no desire to do anything. Not having any money to do anything with my boys does not help. But they understand. My husband got a great job offer and has yet to call him, GOD does he not realize what he is doing to us. We are sinking and sinking fast. Guys I have done a lot of soul searching, and as soon as i find out about making money I'm out, he isn't trying. I can do this on my own. I have done it several times before, and i have failed, but I'm determined to be happy. Life is not suppose to be this way. It hurts and it is not suppose to. I know that a lot of readers are wondering "why don't she go to work" I wish i could truly answer that i have a good reason i just can't share it. please support me through this hard time in my life because i have no one else.......

My home life this week......

2012-03-05T19:42:00.001-08:00

Things here are OK this week so far,subject to change at anytime. I had to take my youngest to the DR. he was a solid whelp, he has strep. So nursing him back to health, I hate it when my babies are sick. My anxiety has been up this weekend. My oldest son is joining the Air Force, and I'm so scared for him, and happy that he has taken it open himself to better himself. He is actually lost in this world, he just doesn't feel good enough and we give him so much to make himself feel better, but we are his parents we are suppose to do that. I think that we all said that to our parents as a child. I had a bad day yesterday, I cried at the drop of a hat. But it made me feel better, and having to make myself get out of the house to take my son to the Dr. helped me. Yes i have to made to leave this house. I'm so hoping that when summer gets here it will be totally different and i can share exiting things i do that day instead of just being here.Thank you all for the support that i get here. I mean i know that i don't get a lot of posting, but i hope you will post if you need to. Please know each and everyone of you are in my heart and we made this site together. I may up my meds when i go to the Dr. this month. Maybe i will come out of the depression that i fight daily. But i fight and that is a good thing. I will post later if I'm still up, if not I will see you in the A.M. {HUGS}

Sad.........

2012-03-04T19:11:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone. Sorry I didn't post yesterday, I missed posting. I have just been wrapped up in a lot of things.... and i guess that i have just had writers block. I have had some family problems, my granny was in the hospital. She is ok. I don't go see her as i should, but i'am going to be honest, with this wavy eyes that happens when i am about to get a headache they have been happening a lot lately and i am afraid of driving alone. I WILL not put my boys in danger, I would have to pull over for the 30 minutes or so till it goes away. I don't know, I miss my mom and my dad, she is hurt at me, I just wish that she knew what i felt, no one understands what I go through. I may not understand what she is going through either. I have just became a hermit. I hate to leave the house. I feel safe just being in my room. NO!! that is no way to live at all. I hurt knowing that I hurt someone that I care about. I said I was sorry.........

HI...................

2012-03-01T21:02:00.003-08:00

Hi everyone....it is late where i'am. I just can't go to bed without posting. I have dedicated myself to this site. Today I have been down, I kinda ask myself why are you writing to help others, and I get down, but I want people to see that I'am human and have things in my life that are not good. My home life is a huge heart break for me. I cry for my younger boys they are so much my life, they have no where to run when things get rough. I don't have the gas most of the times and really no where to go, I have no friends. Me and them go in our room and watch TV or talk. It is amazing how smart they are. My oldest boys can go to friends houses and it hurts my heart that they are not here. But I don't blame them.

I maybe throwing myself a pity party tonight, and I have invited you all. Thanks for coming. And know that we can do this all together. If you feel like posting please do. If you are a reader please come back. I will post in the A.M when I get my angels off to School. {HUGS}

Sorry.....

2012-03-01T14:13:00.000-08:00

Just not feeling it today..... really down. Please understand maybe tomorrow will be better. {HUGS} to you all!..........Kim

Morning........

2012-02-29T05:00:00.001-08:00

Good Morning everyone. Today I'm going to try to get out of the house. If you have not been out try to go for a walk. Visit a friend. That is what I'm going to do. I have to be sure that I have a ride, because with the gas prices, and no money coming in we can run only one vehicle. It's a sad situation. Looks as though I'm going to try to look harder for a job, it is hard to work with this disorder, I have tried. I do good for awhile, and then I make myself mentally and physically sick. I'm not using it as an excuse to not work, I just know how it makes me. It is hard to see your therapist every month, I don't know I just get so discouraged, and angry at myself because I can't be normal. Please know that I'm blessed to have all of you that visit, and post it means the world to me. Will check back a little later, God Bless.

Things that worry me in my home life......

2012-02-28T10:03:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to check in today, I feel somewhat better. Still depressed. You see I worry about EVERYTHING!!! My oldest son is showing some signs of depression. and it scares me. I don't want him to be like me on meds the rest of his life. I want them all 4 to live life to it's fullest, with no regrets. They all 4 have not grew up in a house that they should have. My husband and I have left him several times. I was gone a whole year, I have been back here a year in May. Things here are not the same they never will be again. I have changed, and so has he. I miss the man that he used to be, that man isn't nowhere to be found, and I have come to accept that. He is OK where we are in life, I'm not, He hasn't worked in going on 4 years. It is hard for me to respect him knowing his mom is taking care of us, and he is OK with that. He feels that doing these articles online he is going to make money. If that were true everyone would be on their computers. I just wish that he would get a real job. I hope you all are having a good day. I shall post later, look forward to hearing from you, {HUGS}

Today

2012-02-27T14:10:00.000-08:00

Today has been a bad day for me, I woke up with a lymph node swelled in my throat, and it scared me, I have been panicking inside wondering what it is. As the tears roll I hate this. I'm not a hypochondriac I'm a person that is afraid of surgery, cancer, and dyeing. IT scares me until this day, and I have come to realize that when it is my time the Good Lord is going to take me no matter what I say. I sat here and tried to tell my husband how I felt, he has been so rapped up in hubs and things that we his family have become obsolete. I was crying out to him he just typed away, I know he feels his work is important, but it is like LOOK I need you to listen to ME can I have 5 minutes of your time. That's why I'm glad I can come here. If you come here and you know me personally, know that I have anxiety I'm still me, but I do worry a lot, This isn't a fun disorder to have, and to fight it alone at times is so hard. Like I told you before, having an attack is just like having the first one. I'm sorry that I'm not real supportive at this moment. I just had to vent, I hope to hear from you, and know that your words are important to me, Please post if you feel up to it.

Feeling down:(

2012-02-26T19:24:00.002-08:00

I just don't feel like I'm reaching anyone, it makes me sad. I hope that some of you are getting something out of this. {HUGS}

You ask me questions..........

2012-02-26T18:44:00.001-08:00

Anything that you might want to know about me,ask. Maybe some quiet viewer will ask me something. I'm an open book, and will answer to the best of my ability. I await to see a question. Thanks again for viewing my page it means a lot. {HUGS}

Symptoms..........

2012-02-26T12:40:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I feel that my meds are not working anymore. That they just take the edge off. My head crawls all the time above my ear, it comes and goes, and it is very irritating. I have heart palpitations, they have got better. I'm in a world of hurt with stomach problems, I can eat and then 6 to 7 hours later I'am up with pain. But this has been happening for a year, I have pretty much just got used to it. anyone have any ideas on what it might be I would appreciate some response to what you think that it might be. My nerves don't help.

I know that you probably in your life of depression, you have had some symptoms that have scared you, I'm so sorry that you have had to go through it to, I feel for each and ever one of you that comes here. We are all in this together. Depression and Anxiety is controllable. A lot of people see a therapist, and a lot of people use meds. I was just giving you some symptoms that I have even though I'am on meds. Please if you feel like posting, do. Would love to hear you story. And thanks again for reading my post.

My Thoughts..........

2012-02-25T09:01:00.001-08:00

As I sit here and look out the window, I wonder why, and when I will be able to smile again, I'am so unhappy. Yes I know that it is up to me to make myself happy. A vacation would be so nice. I have to look at it this way, Yes I'm unhappy, but there is someone out there fighting for their life with cancer, a child suffering from some kind of cancer, and I think I have problems. There is a woman,man, or child suffering in silence because they are being beat on a daily basis. I wish that I could save them all, There is someone out the with a bad drug addiction crying out for help, and no one sees it. The homeless, I know they had something at one time. Please know that I'am writing my thoughts, these are the people that I think about when I get down. I want you to post your thoughts, you do not have to give a name, If you are suffering talk about it, it helps I promise. {HUGS}

Wanted to tell you about..........

2012-02-24T10:18:00.000-08:00

I want to tell you about my Granny, She is a nurse, when I started having panic attacks 17 years ago, I was so glad her and paw paw lived minutes away from me, granted I went there a lot. When this started, I was scared of everything. They always made me feel better. I just wanted you to know that it was a blessing to have them there for me, My paw paw is with Jesus, now can't wait to see him again. My Granny is still going strong. If you read this Granny Thank you, I love you. I don't know if you have the same problem that I have but the nights were, and sometimes are the worst for me. We never realize how the ones around us are feeling,I mean that honestly, all I cared about was me, what was wrong with me. It was not done intentionally, I look back and it was selfish of me. Please if you are going through panic, and or depression, post there is help here, you do not have to give your name. I just want to know that I'am helping just one person by reading my post, leave a comment. {HUGS}

Having a Venting buddy.......

2012-02-23T12:28:00.000-08:00

I hope that you have someone that you can go to when things just don't feel right. I have one, she is great she is a mom of 2 beautiful girls, and a true friend to me. It always helps to talk it out. I am asking all of my viewers that come if you pray please say a prayer for her and he family her mamma is in the hospital, and she live away from her mom and it is hard for her to get to her mom when she needs, and wants too. I wish that we were a world with no hurt, and no pain, but we wouldn't have choices. It is so beautiful here today I am going to go out and get some vitamin D with my boys. We go for walks, and talk. I just love them so much. I will soon be loosing my oldest to the Air Force, I try not to think about it, because it hurts, but I think that he needs some structure in his life, and maybe this will be good for him. Life is so fast forward now it is hard to believe that we don't stop to smell the flowers. Please post if you want, you don't realize how you will be helped here. I hope that when I sign back in someone has a story to tell. Have a great day everyone, {HUGS}

Feeling Better....

2012-02-22T12:25:00.001-08:00

I just wanted to say thank you to all that have supported me through starting this blog, soon I hope that it will be a website. Depression is hard for me, and when I have positive people come into my life it makes it a lot easier to live with. Anxiety I have got that under control, as I was posting last night I got that wavy vision, (silent migraines), I hate when that happens. When I was conceived my biological mother did not want me, she gave me at the age of 6 weeks 2 elavil and gave me a bottle behind it, got my sister and was headed to the store so that it would look like my daddy did it. But she felt guilty and came back and told him what she had done. When he found me I was not alert they rushed me to the hospital, I died 3 times, and was in a coma and packed in ice for 3 days, by the grace of God I made it!!! In the 70's it was hard for a dad to get custody of minor children, but my dad's case went all the way to the Supreme Court, and he won the rights to get me and my sister back it took a year but he did it. His case changed the laws in our State. That played a huge part in my having Anxiety because I always wanted an answer why she couldn't give it to me. My dad met my mamma she was 17 and took a 1, and 2 year old on she didn't have to do but she did and I thank God everyday she did. I know that it was hard on her because having a baby at 18 as I did just having one was hard. My sister and I are 11 months apart, we had our first babies on the same day 10 hrs apart, and our last babies in the same day. I miss her she lives away from me now that took a toll on me when she left because she was my rock, I had a place to go with my boys when things got bad here. She is special to me. I don't hold a grudge as I did for a long time because I was never accepted by my biological mother, I did talk with her I don't now I have a mamma. When i was really bad with my anxiety back 17 years ago, my husband would stay up with me at night, he had to work the next day ,but he did it, I was afraid of someone breaking in the house, I would time him on how fast he could load the gun, to see if it was enough time to save us. Trust me I could go on for days as I look back.......but thanks for listening if you would like to post please do. And thanks again for visiting.....{HUGS}

Just a link......I will post here forever but I started a new FB page

2012-02-21T19:38:00.001-08:00

I have started a Facebook page for Anxiety and Depression, here is the link,http://www.facebook.com/pages/Anxiety-and-Depression-Group/373961255948312 If you would like to join please do, I finally let all of my friends that don't know that I have had this all my adult life, they know now. I love coming here and venting. I thank all of you that visit and those that post thank you, I know I have said that over and over, but it means a lot to me. I feel so much better tonight. Please listen to the song that was requested for me to listen to it is amazing~~~Josh Wilson~~~~Before the Morning. If you are visiting join be apart of an awesome group. There is a lot of support here. {HUGS}

Positive Energy

2012-02-21T17:17:00.001-08:00

It helps so much to have someone tell you that you are somebody. Don't let people talk down to you, you are somebody. Keep your head up high, know that you are somebody. Life isn't easy we all know that. It can be hard and there are hurdles that we have to climb to get up them, that's why I started this blog. Remember if God brought you to it, he will get you through it. Me having Depression as I do things get to me bad, hurt really easy. If you do to post it. Talk to us. No name needed, just your feelings. I was not male bashing on the post that I posted earlier, I just had to allow all of my viewers know why I have so much hurt and anger. But I have let my anger go, because it only hurts me to hang onto that. But the hurt I will hang onto for a little while. I hope that you have a great night, I will be back to post again before bed. Thanks for all that comes to view, and those who post. {HUGS}

Worrying Thoughts..........

2012-02-21T11:56:00.000-08:00

Yes I have them, feeling of dread, wondering why me????? I take it day by day. I have separated myself from close family because I let them down. They were my positive energy. Honestly I have got so down that I do not leave the house. I hate that I'm like this. My husband is a huge part in me being unhappy. He isn't the man that I married, maybe he is it was just all a lie. He hurts me mentally, seeing him look at women on the internet, talking to other women. He is a liar, and a snake. I would not do something to hurt him in that way. It makes me feel ugly, unwanted. That is why I lean on my boys. I will find happiness one day soon. At this point in our marriage there should not be such to worry about. But he continues to do it, so be it!!!!! If you or someone you know has the same problem, if you are a man and your wife is hurting you in such of a way, get out!!!!!!! We all deserve to be loved honestly.

Happy Tuesday!!!!

2012-02-21T10:11:00.005-08:00

Hello everyone, hope that all of you are doing OK. Ugh I hate the mornings I get up shaking all over, I hate that. I'm going to live for today, not yesterday, or tomorrow.There is a lot that I would like to post about m life, but I just can't right now. It is hard to talk about. I have let myself down, I live a lie everyday of my life. What keeps me going is my boys, they are truly my life support. Please now I'm a good person, and if you come here as family you know what I'm talking about. Please if you feel down, or if something great has happened post!!!! It would make my day!!!!! will post again later have an awesome day!!!!HUGS}

Take a moment for you......

2012-02-20T19:48:00.001-08:00

Go for a walk, take a hot bath and just dare anyone to disturb you. Get your spouse to give you a massage, or if you can afford it go let a professional pamper you. Take a drive, listen to the birds. Have a date night, I know with having small children it is hard, but make time. Life is to short to live without love from that special person, that is suppose to be your life partner. Please post or join would love to get to know you. {HUGS}

Just a few questions

2012-02-20T08:55:00.001-08:00

I have a little questionaire,

1. How long have you had depression?
2.How long have you had Anxiety?
3.Do you have it under control?
4.Do you have a great support group?
5.How do you deal with your illness?

I have had this for 17 years, I think at times that I do have it under control, and may have a down fall, I'm not good with change. I do at times, my hero's are my 2 youngest boys ages 11, and 7. They know when mom is down and they pray for me. They are my support group. This blog is how I have found that I can deal with this, and I don't want to offend anyone by calling what I have an illness, if you feel different please know I'm not throwing you out there. I have just this year been diagnose with Bipolar Disorder. I await to hear your answers no names needed unless you would like. If you would like to follow me please do.