To be honest I have mixed emotions about this blog now. At first I wanted to create something remarkable. I wanted to create an important anti-anxiety resource. I ended up with something very different.

For years I wrote blog posts and produced podcasts hoping that Anxietyguru.net would grow and evolve and you know what? It didn’t. I tried recruiting people to write, changing the design, asking for feedback, writing different types of posts but, it didn’t seem to matter.

Don’t get me wrong. This blog has grown. I’ve gone from 200 daily visitors to about 3,000. That sounds good I guess, yet in the world of websites that’s tiny. Worst of all I don’t know why. I don’t know what I did wrong.

Part of me wants to believe that this has happened because anxiety is transient. People are only interested in seeking tips when they are in crisis or semi-crisis. Anxious people, it seems, are more into internet surfing. They collect small bits of information from a lot of different places and build whatever they need from those small parts.

Sadly, that makes it less likely that AG will ever grow into a strong community. It can’t be the only reason this blog hasn’t developed more, but it’s certainly a big part of it. And that sucks because I’m not quite sure what to do now. I have failed. I feel defeated in my efforts to create something remarkable. At least that’s how I feel.

It’s hard to accept that something you’ve worked on for so long is futile. It’s downright depressing really. I guess in the end there’s only so much one person can do. Unlike a lot of successful websites AG has no staff, no budget, no nothing. Reality check I guess.

All that said, I still enjoy answering emails, helping people when I can, and receiving a kind message or two. That has never changed. So although AG isn’t what I hoped it would be, it still brings me satisfaction to know that I’ve brought comfort to some of you over the years.

Thank you.

You’re on the internet looking for a solution miracle that’s going to turn things around but, and I hate to break this to you, in the world of anxiety miracles don’t exist. We’re all too different to be helped by the same thing. The “thing” that helps you will be of your own making.

Plus, you probably spend a lot of time reading very interesting information that’s useless. But it’s useless only because you have unconsciously decided to stay in a perpetual state of helpless awe.

I can hear you now, “This sounds good, that sounds good, wait this too.” It all sounds good, for awhile at least. The truth is that none of it is helping you because you’re not actively turning that information into something usable. It’s not your fault though. Anxiety is a master manipulator and once you let it crawl into your head you start to believe all the baloney it puts there.

I want to help you revamp how you go about getting better so that you can get to the promised land sooner. Best of all, my tip is insanely easy to use.

Listen to the podcast to find out more.

Today I want to share that story with you. I got so excited about telling you this story that I decided to produce a podcast instead of writing about it. I think it explains a pretty powerful idea about anxiety that I hope will help you see things differently. Take 10 minutes to listen to it and tell me what you think in the comments section below.

Chances are that you tend to be reactive and explore solutions to your anxiety problem only in the heat of the moment (or soon after).

But is jumping on Google to read more about what you already know really going to help you? If not, what can you do, right now, that will help you get where you want to be?

Here are a few thoughts…

Identify the Problem

What is your problem? To say that it’s “anxiety” is too vague. Get specific. A helpful way to find out what your specific problem is to ask yourself the miracle question. Here it is: If you went to sleep tonight, and woke up anxiety free tomorrow, how would you know that you were anxiety free?

What would tell you that everything was different? Would it be that your palpitations were gone? Or that your racing thoughts had disappeared? Pick one.

Obviously your anxiety is complex and may not boil down to only one symptom but, there’s usually one major problem that is fueling your anxiety. Find out what that is and work on that one problem until you defeat it.

I know “anxiety” is the overarching issue, but think about the benefits of tackling something singular like chest pain. Any diet change, exercise routine, or whatever you decide to use, that heals your chest pain will undoubtedly also have a positive effect on your overall feelings of anxiety.

It’s also less overwhelming to focus on a single problem versus trying to tackle “anxiety.”

Focus On Using Solutions

When you have a big problem it’s easy to get sucked into the “problem vortex.” You get sucked into a world of sameness; the same information, the same pattern of thinking, or the same behavior. But it’s important to ask yourself, “What can I do differently?”

Take palpitations for example, here are a few articles on how to stop them:

Is there a way to stop heart palpitations

How to stop heart palpitations

Natural home remedies: Palpitations

Wonderful, found three great articles on how to stop palpitations. The question is, what do you do with this information? Do you simply keep surfing the net looking for the next interesting tip or do you stop and think about how you might use this information?

Brooding about your anxiety is a waste of time. Getting locked in your head about how much you hate your life, how much anxiety is ruining your existence benefits you how? You need to get pissed and use that energy to find a set of tools you can use on a regular basis.

Small Improvements Are Okay

Folks with problems want quick fixes – that’s normal. It’s also unrealistic. Instead, as you work on your main problem look for small improvements that tell you things are changing. The goal is to make something different.

That could mean having 2 panic attacks per week rather than 3. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. You’ll progress one baby step at a time. Plus, you won’t be filled with disappointment every time someone’s advice doesn’t turn your life around on a dime.

The tips I laid out here are simple but effective. If you want someone to give you some magic pill or bullet proof advice then I’m afraid you’re going to be anxious much longer. Don’t fool yourself. Instead, make a plan and stick to it. Time will take care of the rest.

And you know what? The second camp might be on to something. But don’t freak out. Although there are medical problems that do in fact cause anxiety, they’re not all incurable nightmares.

For instance…

Thyroid Problems

Most anxious people like to think big in terms of what might be ailing them. You hear anxious people talk a lot about heart attacks, brain cancer, even multiple sclerosis gets tossed around as a possible cause of their anxiety. But there are other, less dramatic, explanations.

A more likely medical cause of anxiety, fatigue, stomach problems, and irritability is hyperthyroidism. The thyroid is a gland in the neck that produces Thyroxine and thyridodine (T4 and T3). Long story short, the thyroid is important because it keeps your body in homeostasis (“balanced” or “stable”).

If the thyroid produces too much (or not enough) hormone then all hell breaks loose. Thyroid problems can lead to many medical issues, including severe anxiety.

So, if you’re the kind of person that has popped pills, seen a shrink, taken up running or gardening, and still feel anxious then you might want to get your thyroid checked by a medical doctor. A simple blood test will tell you if your anxiety problem is really just a hormonal issue.

Not everyone with chronic anxiety has a thyroid problem, but still it’s something to consider getting checked. You might be scared to see a doctor. I get that. You might be too scared to have a check up because of what could be found. I get that too.

But it’s always better to know what is truly going on with you versus playing perpetual head games with yourself.

This is exactly why if you have severe anxiety you need to start whatever treatment plan you have with one single step: A check up. Once you’ve seen a doctor and have been screened for medical problems then you can start working on your real issues.

If you’ve already been screened for “everything” and still can’t find a reason for your anxiety then maybe it’s time to develop a different plan of action . But that’s for another time.

Last year, researchers found evidence that the kind of bacteria we have in our gut actually influences our brain chemistry and how we act. And what determines the types of bacteria that reside in our stomach and gastrointestinal tract? Food.

Translation: psychologically speaking, we are what we eat.

For years we’ve been aware of some kind of association between anxiety and things like irritable bowel syndrome, but now we know there’s a microbial component that may be involved in any number of mood disorders.

The harmful bacteria that can lead to these problems isn’t necessarily created by the things that we eat, but certain types of foods help it to thrive and overpower the bacteria that keeps us healthy and on an even keel.
So, how can you maintain a balanced level of good and bad bacteria? What should you eat and avoid? The answers are more straight-forward than you might imagine.

Foods to avoid

Refined sugars and starches. If you only cut one item out of your diet, make it refined sugar. Harmful bacteria are powered by sugar the way Popeye gets his strength from spinach. Get rid of sugar and greatly reduce the amount of starch in your diet and you’ll be metaphorically cutting the bacteria’s legs out from under it.

Fried foods. It’s not going to be easy, but say goodbye to those French fries and chicken fingers that you love. Not only do they have ridiculously little nutritional value, fried foods are hard for your body to digest, typically have too many omega-6 fats and trans fats because of the oils they’re cooked in, and they play a large role in the heart problems of many people. Basically, your body doesn’t process them very well.

Foods that cause acid to form. What’s wrong with acid? Experts believe that it’s related to the level of magnesium in our bodies, and that magnesium at least contributes (if it doesn’t outright cause) anxiety in many people. Try not to eat too much of foods like liver, sour cream, eggs, pickles, or yogurt, or drink wine excessively. And while we’re on the subject of wine…

Alcohol. Everyone knows that drinking does nothing good for us nutritionally and a whole lot of bad, but still we partake because of the feeling it brings – even if that’s usually incredibly short-lived. Well, now there’s yet another reason to avoid alcohol, because it actually has the ability to cause you to suffer physical symptoms from the toxins in your body that help trigger attacks of anxiety.

Dairy. While dairy products aren’t bad for you in and of themselves, an excess of them can put you in a more anxious state by raising your levels of adrenaline. Take care that you eat and drink dairy in moderation and you should be fine.

Coffee. Drink too much coffee and you’re likely to experience an increase in your heart rate, as well as several of the other sensations that are known to create panic attacks. Obviously coffee doesn’t cause most people to experience anxiety or it wouldn’t be as popular as it is, but it is known to be an anxiety stimulant when taken to excess.

Foods to seek out

Traditional fats. While no one would call them “good” for you, natural fats like lard, coconut oil, and butter are far better than using processed oils in your cooking. Omega-3 fats. In recent years there’s been more and more talk about good fats and bad fats – well, omega-3s, generally speaking, are the good guys. Find them in things like grass-fed animals, wild fish, and more.

Protein for breakfast. Lean protein is pretty much always a positive thing, and if you eat it as part of your breakfast, it will help to keep you energized. Fermented foods. By making a food with natural fermentation, you create good bacteria that can help re-balance what’s in your gut. Pickles, chutneys, buttermilk, and even yogurt and sour cream can be great as long as they ferment naturally. Just be sure to eat dairy products in moderation.

Complex carbohydrates. When you do eat starchy foods, go for whole grains and eschew simple carbohydrates. Not only is this better for your gut, complex carbs are believed to release calming serotonin, which can help to relieve anxiety.

Soups and stocks. Really want to help your intestinal lining to heal improve digestion? Use animal bones and cartilage to create homemade stocks.

Obviously, worrying about how to get and prepare the right foods is something else that can add to your stress, but you can relieve that by using a home delivery diet plan that allows you to clearly define the foods you want.

I focused more on when my next panic attack was going to strike. Looking back though, I wish I had.

Perhaps I would’ve understood what I needed to do sooner, or not. See, even after I knew what to do I stayed anxious anyway.

It took a long time to go from “I get it,” to “I truly understand.” This, I think, explains why my two eBooks are so different.

I recently had a reader email me this question:

In the first book, you mention several times that we need to challenge anxiety, to fight our way out and to be active in our recovery. But the second book makes great emphasis on acceptance and letting go. How can I do both? It’s probably just a turn of phrase I’m not grasping, but I’d appreciate some clarification. Thanks!

The recovery process can be a fight; at least it was for me. You have to motivate yourself, to move beyond information gathering and into acquiring a true understanding of anxiety and yourself. This can be time consuming, even scary.

That’s why it’s so easy to get discouraged and, despite how lousy it feels, to continue down the path of misery. That’s why you have to fight with yourself to get going and stay going toward recovery.

You have to get beyond false starts and move toward a real commitment to the recovery process. That can be a ‘fight.’

In fact, in my first eBook, How to Stop Anxious Thinking, I outlined all the reasons why you could fail to get better. I did that knowing that a lot of people want to get better but lack the focus and mental stamina they need. It was a warning against every pitfall that I tumbled into as I sought relief myself.

I guess it’s the same reason why many people with weight issues struggle to lose weight. They know what to do, they know the benefits of losing the extra pounds, yet they stay in the same situation. They lose 5 lbs; gain the 5 lbs back, plus 5 more. It’s a fight.

After you recognize AND break through your apathy, stagnation, and routine you’ll start to see change. That’s what I was trying to highlight in my first eBook.

Unfortunately, I barely included the concept of acceptance in my first eBook because my own understanding of how I got better hadn’t fully evolved when I wrote it. It was a long, complex process that only became clear to me long after I got better.

I had grown in ways I wasn’t aware of. I had undergone a process that I didn’t fully understand, so I had to ‘process’ it for a while. This is why I wrote my second eBook, The Big Idea. I wanted to explore this powerful realization.

Given all that, I still think the two approaches can coexist. On the one hand, it is worth your while to understand the obstacles you face, to learn about anxiety, the process of stress, and to challenge old patterns of thinking.

On the other hand, learning how to accept your fears remains the final step, in my opinion, toward resolving the constant inner chatter that keeps you off balance and stuck on ‘What If’ scenarios.

Ultimately, I still think that you build your own solution to this problem.

You build the ‘answer’ over time using information from others (like me), but most importantly, with information from yourself. Only you understand what you really fear and what it’s going to take for you to sit with those fears without a strong response.

Overcoming anxiety is challenging because it has to do with the all the stuff you don’t want to happen in life, like dying. These fears are often unconscious, or at least not so clear in your mind that they represent a cause for concern.

Your job is to find out what your fears are, learn about your reaction to those fears, and then learn how to embrace them. That’s how you get better.

This topic is terrific, so I made a podcast to explore it a bit more. Take a few minutes to listen and comment below!

P.S. You can learn more about my new members website by clicking here.

Last year I was sitting at home thinking about how I could deliver exclusive content to people who are serious about getting better.

What I came up with was a private website packed with rock solid information.

And finally, after months of work, my members only website is ready to launch.

In the members only area you’ll find new podcasts, videos, articles, and a brand new forum. You can take a tour of the new site here.

Why is the new website private?

Many people with anxiety problems are reluctant to talk about their issues in public. This could be because of work, school, family; the list of reasons for wanting anonymity is long. So a member’s only website is the perfect solution.

Not only will there be privacy, peer support, and new content, but members will also get free access to both of my eBooks, How to Stop Anxious Thinking and The Big Idea. I’m really opening the doors on this one. I’m even starting a brand new personal coaching service that will only be available to members for the time being.

To see a sample video from my new site click here

I think the combination of great information, privacy, and peer support is a powerful blend that will help people learn helpful information in a safe environment. It creates a space where you can work on your goals without feeling isolated or misunderstood.

Do you want a FREE membership pass?

If you’re interested in a free membership pass then head to the comments section below and tell me how you would contribute to the new community at AG Members. Would you be an active member willing to reach out to others?

I’ll select 5 winning comments and award those people with a free membership pass. The winners will be announced on February 7, 2013.

I’d like to start off with a group of people willing to do more than just consume information. I’m looking for folks who want to take an active role in their recovery.

But if you don’t get a free pass don’t worry, all members of the Anxietyguru.net newsletter will receive something special in their inbox next week. So if you’re not already signed up, right now would be an excellent time!

Yet, I realize that if I put myself out there more, I have a greater chance of helping people. So today I’m releasing my first video, ever. I wanted to do something different in preparation for the launch of my new membership website.

In this video, I cross over the 200 ft tall Coronado bridge in San Diego to prove – mostly to myself – that I’ve done away with my old fear of heights. It’s nothing fancy, but I hope it encourages someone watching that overcoming their fears is a real possibility and not just something you hope for.

To watch the video click here.

Have you ever overcome a powerful fear? Tell me about it in the comments section below.

Note: Please excuse the shaky camera work. =)

Whether it’s because of death, divorce, the loss of a house or job, experiencing loss can be painful. It focuses your mind on the negative and fosters intense emotional reactions.

During times of loss there’s a good chance that you’ll encounter denial, anger, and even guilt. Have you ever had your heart broken? I know I have, more than a couple times. That kind of thing can knock you down (literally) for days. I’ve also felt grief, like when my father died. That experience was shocking, tragic, and through me into a rage on more than one occasion.

Today I want to offer some tips on how you can cope with grief and loss. Even though there’s no one way to grieve, or to ‘deal with it,’ there are indeed steps you can take to help mitigate how bad things get. After all, if you let your loss hold you down for too long, then you run the risk of becoming depressed. Unable to sleep, eat, or even give a damn about what happens next, you could end up consumed by the situation. It’s a slippery slope you don’t want to play on.

Many people have told me that they prefer podcasts to articles, so I produced a podcast to express my ideas on this topic. Take a few minutes to listen to the podcast then share your thoughts in the comments section below.