Anxiously Engaging

How to Save Money on Wedding Invitations | Uprinting.com Review

2014-02-21T01:54:00.000-08:00

I apologize in advance for the lengthy post, but trust me - it's worth a read and a repin for future reference.

We sent out 400 3-piece invitations formal invitations with pictures and postage for under $400.

How did we do it? More importantly, how can you too? Read below for all the details.

1) Decide if this is a priority. I love paper, graphic design, and formalities so formal invitations were an absolute must for me. I may be weird in my obsession, but the invitations were more important to me than my dress, the catering, and the flowers. This was the one place I was NOT willing to short change.

2) Reality check. You wouldn't be reading this if you had thousands of dollars to spend on your invitations. So let's be real. Have you already trimmed your guest list? How much do you have budgeted for your invitations? Remember, no matter how great you are at saving money, they just don't make coupons for stamps. Postage was almost half of our invitation cost.

3) Prioritize. What are the top three things you want in your invitations? My top three were: multiple pieces, paper doilies, and a picture of the two of us that didn't make it feel informal. Perhaps more importantly, what will your invitations NOT look like? For me this meant no collages or invitation/picture blends.Call me a paper snob, but I just didn't want that look for my invitation.

4) Choose your printer. I used UPrinting.com, and I really think you should too. I searched hundreds of sites before settling on them. They only sell in increments of 250 so we ordered 500 invitations (and still have 100 extra under the bed in a box). It was still almost half the price of other printers. You can currently order 500 front and back 5x7 invitations on 14 pt. glossy cardstock (envelopes INCLUDED) for $131.51 AND you can design them yourself. I do not receive any compensation if you order from UPrinting. I just really love their service.

5) Design your pieces. UPrinting will let you design your own invitations using their design tool or you can upload a design you made elsewhere. I just designed ours on the site. I spent hours working on the details because I wanted them to be perfect. I designed our main piece to have a formal invitation on one side and our picture, names, and wedding date on the back. That way, people could put the invitation on the fridge as a save the date picture. People LOVED that. I also ordered 3.5x5 inserts that had information about our wedding website. Don't judge me. We stopped paying not to have that huge ugly ad on the site when the wedding was over. Broke bride... broke wife.
Don't forget. If you really are a broke bride, you better design those invitations to fit in a standard sized envelope and not to be too heavy. You want a normal stamp to do the trick. Figure out the weight, and stick below it. Postage is the most expensive part!

6) DIY. Now for the fun part. You've got the pieces, and that might be enough, but if you have a plan to embellish them, get to work. We created a corner folder with paper doilies and glue dots and used a heat gun, stamp, and embossing powder to make a raised "G" in the corner.

7. Address them. Remember how I mentioned I am a paper snob? Well, my bridesmaids hated me because we addressed every single invitation by hand... and I didn't even have a stamp for the return address label. We made a party out of it. Of course, if you are not quite as crazy as I am (or if your bridesmaids have terrible handwriting), I guess you could use address labels. I promise I won't judge you for being different from me.

8. Send them off. It will be such a relief to get those invitations out. This is real. You are getting married! Be excited. Dance when you put them in the mailbox. Hug your mailman. It's a good day, and you just saved tons of money by doing your research and working hard. Go splurge on a sundae or something.

Thanks for reading. And now, for a look at our wedding invitations. Just under $400 for $400 invitations (and 100 extra pieces) and postage for all of them. The doily held both pieces (front and back of main invitation shown below), and had a green G embossed in the corner.

Oh yeah, don't forget. People don't RSVP, so those adorable RSVP cards you sent out (if that wasn't one of the things you cut like I did) won't help you get an estimate. Check out what to do when they don't trickle in and your ~~mom~~ caterer needs numbers.

How to Make a Modest Infinity Dress for under $10: No Sewing Machine Required

2013-03-23T18:59:00.000-07:00

Infinity Dresses. Convertible Dresses. You've seen them all over Pinterest as the answer to every bride's worst nightmare: trying to find dresses that match and look great on ALL of your bridesmaids. But as with anything that seems perfect, there are some definite drawbacks.

1) Expense - These dresses range from $80 all the way up to over $200! In terms of quality, you tend to get what you pay for. Many of the cheaper dresses have terrible reviews because of the fabric quality.

2) Coverage - See all those adorable ways to wrap the dress? Note that you can't really wear a bra with any of them, and if you've got a little extra in the curves department (and not all in the right places), say hello to back-fat (and side-fat and tummy-fat depending on how you wrap the dress).

Those are really the two main concerns when it comes to the infinity dress, and I am happy to tell you that the d.i.y. version fixes them both!

As I researched the infinity dress online, I ran across multiple people saying that they had made them, and then I stumbled onto the tutorial for The Little Red Infinity Dress by Melissa at Sew Like My Mom. I have never seen something that looked so easy! I don't have a sewing machine and haven't sewn anything since middle school home-ec (at least not successfully), and I thought even I could do this. After reading her other post on adding a bandeau to add modesty, I decided to go for it.

One Walmart shopping trip (mine still has fabric) and five hours later, I had gone from just an idea to a beautiful wear-able dress! I got my fabric (all 6 1/2 yards of it because I was afraid I would mess up) for $1 a yard and my thread cost $1.15. Total cost for this d.i.y. modest infinity dress? $7.65

Modifications:

1) My fabric wasn't bolted wide enough to give me the skirt length I wanted while still fitting my waist 100%, but the fabric is stretchy so I went ahead and cut my waist hole smaller than my actual measurement divided by 6.28 (by about two inches) so my skirt would be longer. To make up for this, I had to use a stitch that would stretch when sewing everything together. I can't remember where I found it, but it basically looked like a bunch of x's in a row. You go diagonally down, then backwards, then diagonally up, then backwards, then repeat. It takes a lot of thread, but the diagonal stitches allow for your fabric to stretch without popping the stitches.

2) I made my straps an extra two inches wide and overlapped them quite a bit in the middle (they still wrap around partially to the sides of my dress). I love having the extra-wide fabric to work with because it helps with coverage.

Ba-bam!

The possibilities for wrapping this dress are endless, and what looks best really depends on your body. I wanted full sleeves for modesty purposes. I will tell you that if you start with the straps in the back of the dress and then wrap them over opposite shoulders (left strap over right shoulder, right strap over left shoulder) it is easier to get back coverage (and since your bandeau will be covering your front, you'll be ready to wrap away). I definitely recommend looking up videos on youtube for how to wrap these dresses.

$125 Month Grocery Budget for Two: Meal Planning (and other planning)

2013-03-18T16:54:00.000-07:00

So you want to cut your grocery budget by a significant amount? First step: Meal Planning.

Meal planning is the best way to save money and eat healthier because it means you will skip fast food runs and processed, packaged (expensive) foods. You know what is even better? It means that you only have to ask that annoying question "What's for dinner?" ONCE A MONTH! If you hate figuring out what to make as much as I do, you can surely appreciate that.

So, how can you plan your meals for the entire month?

Step 1: Figure out your busy days. These may be the same days every week or they may change with scheduled activities. Pull out the calendar (or the smartphone) and figure out what days you just won't feel like cooking dinner. We all have days that are hectic. For me, they are Tuesdays and Thursdays. I KNOW that I don't feel like cooking on those days, so what do I do? I plan simple meals that are easy to fix or made in advance. I just want to throw stuff together and heat stuff up in the microwave on these days because I know that anything else is just not going to happen.

Step 2: Make a list of meals (or skip this step and use my plan). I made a list of 23 meals that I knew we would enjoy. I tried to stick to meals that use chicken or ground turkey because they are the cheapest meats I can find, although I did include a couple of meals that would use meat we already had in our freezer. My list only included 23 meals because I knew that we would be having Leftover Day and Salad Day once a week. These are my easy meals that I plug in on Tuesdays and Thursdays. If you don't want to have a leftover day (I highly recommend it) or a salad day, you will need to repeat or come up with other meals to fill in your list.

Step 3: Create month-long meal plan. Scroll down to print or download my Meal Planners. The first one is blank and can be used to create your meal plan each month. Either print out multiple copies (one for each month) or laminate one copy and dry erase each month. The other one is a copy of our meal plan for March (complete with 31 days).The key is to make your meal plan accessible. For me, that means sticking it to the refrigerator.

You finished your meal plan. Continue with the next steps if you want to continue on the 10 steps to a $125 Monthly Grocery Budget for Two.

You've planned your meals, so now you need to make your shopping list.

Step 4: Go through each meal and think about all of the ingredients you will need (unless you are absolutely positive you have it already). Write down each ingredient. As other meals require the same ingredient, make tallies to show how many of each item you need. These are the items you will need in order to make healthy dinners for the entire month.

Step 5: Obviously, you aren't going to survive off of dinner alone so add items to the shopping list that will fill in breakfasts, lunches, and snacks. I suggest a huge container of quick oats for breakfast and/or cereal that you can buy in bulk. We had lunch meat and cheese for sandwiches and a few fruits and yogurt that we added to our list. I also bought hot dogs because they were on sale and made homemade corndog muffins that were easy to grab and go. Try to think of breakfasts and lunches you can make because the more processed and packaged something is, the more it is going to cost you. Many of the items that are on your dinner grocery list will help out in this department (such as eggs, bread, etc.)

Step 6: Smile because you have completed step 1, and are ready to Shop your Cupboards.

$125 Monthly Grocery Budget for Two: Time is Money

2013-03-18T14:49:00.003-07:00

We all know that we could do a lot better with our budgeting, but sometimes it is difficult to find somewhere to save. Everything seems necessary! Because I love creating challenges for myself that will ultimately help my readers, my husband and I decided to cut our grocery budget from $200+ per month to $125 per month.

I know what you're thinking.
Oh my gosh, you are going to starve your husband!
OR
Oh my gosh, there is no way that you can possibly be eating healthy!

Well, guess what? The month is half-finished, and I am happy to report that we are on-budget, satisfied, and actually a little healthier than usual!

So, how did we do it? Read on, my dear readers, read on!

Step 1: Plan, Plan, Plan!

Step 2: Shop your Cupboards

Step 3: Compare Sales

Step 4: Print Coupons

Step 5: Shop for the Entire Month (mostly)

Step 6: Divide Your Meats

Step 7: Stick to It

Step 8: Cheat a Little

Step 9: Replenish at Half-Time

Step 10: Evaluate

What I Wish I Could Give You: A Mother's Poem to her child with Asperger's

2013-03-04T16:41:00.000-08:00

This is one of my favorite poems I have written for BYU-Idaho's Last Poet Standing. The prompt was an original superhero. I decided to write from the point of view of a mother encouraging her child who struggles with being different. The specific difference I wrote from was Asperger's Syndrome, but this relates to anyone who has ever felt that they were dumb, different, or not included.

Rodent Raccoon Rat Thing by Bobbie Gross

2013-03-04T16:35:00.001-08:00

This poem is obviously meant to be funny. Have fun with it. I hope it brightens your day. :)

How to Make a Free Blog Header Using Picmonkey: Building a Better Blogger Blog

2013-03-02T01:13:00.000-08:00

So you want a fancy header for your blogger blog? The good news is it's fast, easy, and totally free thanks to the best online photo editor ever - PicMonkey. PicMonkey was created by the same people who built Picnik (which was bought by Google, shut down, and incorporated into Google+), and it is also a great tool for created infographics or pinfographics. So let's get started. The header we will be creating will be a collage of multiple pictures, so make sure to decide what pictures you want to use. If you haven't already, be sure to check out Part 1 in the Building a Better Blog series - How to Add Google Adsense to your Blogger Blog

Step 1: Go to www.picmonkey.com and choose "Create a collage".

Step 2: Click "Open Photos" and choose the pictures you want to have in your header.

Step 3: Click on the collage button on the left side, and choose a style (or create your own by dragging the photos onto a blank canvas). I chose the ducks in a row layout with four frames.

Step 4: If you would like, you can add a swatch by clicking on the third button down. I added one and then deleted it so you could see the background through the hole. With the fourth button down, you can adjust the spacing, background color, and corner rounding. Adjust the size of your header. The width should be 20 pixels less than the total width of your blog (unless you have adjusted your padding, in which case you should subtract the number of padded pixels multiplied by two). You cannot add words or adjust the colors at all, but we will get to that in the next step. If you like the background image of your header, save it as a .png image.

Step 5: Go back to www.picmonkey.com, but this time choose "Edit a photo." Open your header image, and play with the coloring. The most important part here is to add your words. Choose the "P" button, and add the name of your blog. Once everything is absolutely perfect, save your final header as a .png image.

Step 6: Go to the Layout tab in your Blogger Dashboard. Click edit on the header gadget

Step 7: Upload your image and select "Instead of title and description" or one of the other options.

Now all that's left to do is look at your amazing blog and spread the word that you've got a new look! Make sure you edit your template to match, and your blog will certainly be looking snazzy. Be sure to pin this tutorial or share it with your other blogging friends. The next post in the series will be: how to make your blog pin-friendly. Check back soon for the post!

How to add Google AdSense to your Blogger blog: Building a Better Blogger Blog

2013-02-24T19:56:00.004-08:00

You may be wondering why you would monetize your blog before you make it all fancy and stuff. I did not do this as my step first, and because of that, I lost out on advertising revenue for 5,000 views. That doesn't translate to a lot of money, but since this is such an easy process, you might as well get started immediately. Every 1/100th of a penny is money you're making, right? So let's get started by adding Google AdSense to your Blogger blog.

Monetizing your blog with Google AdSense means that advertisements will show up on your blog - either in your sidebar or under each individual post. You will make money for every impression (time that someone views the advertisement) and even more money when someone clicks on the advertisement. Unless you are getting a lot of views, this doesn't really get you much money, and you won't get a check until you make $100, but if you are persistent in writing good content, making your blog Pinterest-friendly, and making your blog design intuitive and easy to navigate, you can definitely get to that point. When I first monetized my blog, I thought I'd never see my check, but at the rate I'm going now, I will see my first one in just a month or two, and then they should be coming in more steadily as my readership grows. Obviously, monetizing is not for everyone. If you want your blog to be private or do not want advertisements, then this is not the right option for you; however, if you want to start making money for your blogging, then this is the first and easiest step.

Adding Google AdSense to your Blogger Blog

Step 1: Go to the Earnings tab on the Blogger Dashboard for the blog you want to monetize. Click on the Get Started button for Signing up for Google AdSense.

Step 2: Create an account. Fill out the information that pops up in the next screen. Be sure to use a real address because this is where your checks will be sent. Once you fill out the information, you will have to wait until you are approved for a Google AdSense account. This can take awhile, but you will receive an email when everything is ready to go. Once you get that email, move to Step 3. Note: it is possible to have multiple blogs and/or youtube channels attached to one AdSense account. You are only allowed one account per person so make sure you link them all together. This will also allow you to reach $100 faster.

Step 3: Now that you are approved, it's time to set up how the ads will display on your blog. Go back to the Earnings tab in your Blogger Dashboard. You will now see a few new options. Under Google AdSense, you can click "View dashboard" which will open a new page where you can see your Google AdSense earnings and statistics. This is how you keep track of your progress. To the right, you have the option to show ads on blog. To monetize your blog, click the "Yes" bubble, and choose a display option. You can either display ads in your sidebar, under your posts, or in your sidebar and posts. Choosing to display ads in your sidebar and posts will give you the most impressions and clicks - which leads to greater revenue, but you might not like the look of it. Try all three options and choose the one that fits your blog best.

Step 4: Sit back and watch the cash flow in. Okay, we know it's not that simple. Now you have to make your blog look awesome, create Pinterest-friendly posts, and write awesome content to your well-designed blog. One step at a time, though. For now, just bask in the fact that your blog is set up to make you money. Check back soon for more tutorials on Building a Better Blogger Blog.

Words of Berry Sweetness: a love poem

2013-02-15T13:47:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day! Here is a love poem that serves a duality. I wrote it for my husband, but I also wrote it for anyone listening to a poem. So even if you are single, this is a love poem to you! :)

This way or that way: A villanelle

2013-02-15T13:45:00.003-08:00

Groundhog Day - A Glorious Day by Bobbie Gross

2013-01-31T21:17:00.001-08:00

Groundhog's Day is Saturday, and just to celebrate, here is my poem from Last Poet Standing. The prompt (surprise, surprise): Groundhog's Day!

Happy Groundhog's Day everyone. And feel free to share with your friends. :)

Or pin it to pinterest!

Blue Eyes Crying for Lorraine: Last Poet Standing

2013-01-25T14:54:00.003-08:00

This poem is dedicated to my grandparents, Robert & Lorraine. I love them both so much. I miss Grandma, but I know that Grandpa misses her even more. In this poem, I tried to capture a feeling that words can't describe, and I hope that it will bring peace and comfort to those who are mourning - especially my Grandpa.

Cheap, Healthy, Easy Halloween Snacks - Zombie Apple Mouths

2012-10-31T12:36:00.000-07:00

If you've been on Pinterest in the past month, you have probably been flooded by images of adorable (or disgusting) Halloween treats.

Well, here's another one. The apple slice mouths had been begging me to make them from the very first time I saw them, but my poor husband is allergic to peanut butter! What could I possibly do?

Replace peanut butter with NUTELLA!

I don't know about you, but as far as I'm concerned, Nutella is pretty much the icing on any cake.

Or apples...

Ingredients:
red apples (it only took 4 small apples to make almost 30 mouths)
Nutella
mini marshmallows
lemon juice

Directions: (No pictures; I'm sorry!)
1) Cut apples into slices and dip them in lemon juice (don't leave them soaking unless you are okay with sour apples - which might be good since the Nutella and marshmallows are sweet).
2) Spread Nutella on one side of two slices. It's okay to be a little messy; these gums are decaying, right?
3) Put marshmallows, flat side down, on one apple slice to look like teeth.
4) Press second apple slice, Nutella side down on the marshmallows.
5) Voila! Win the prize for Spookiest Snack! (We did.)

PS - These actually taste amazing. We made them on Friday, and I have been eating apple slices dipped in Nutella with marshmallows on top ever since. Don't judge me.

Threadbare Notes

2012-10-19T23:27:00.000-07:00

I sang a song in my dream last night, and the words fell right in tune
and I could hear the beckoning of the fullness of the moon,
but when I woke the moon had waned; the lyrics - they had passed
and the music hung in the silent air to tease as it failed to last.

I rummaged through my tattered dream and clung to remnant rays
that scattered through the ashes of the dawning of my day,
but tighter grasps unwound the clasps of threads in threadbare notes
and long before the day began,

it was gone.

Cheap, DIY, Couple's Costume: Jack & Jill (Injury Friendly)

2012-10-19T21:04:00.001-07:00

It was 2010, and Annan and I had a Halloween party to attend.

This was awesome for two reasons.

1) Halloween parties are the bomb.com.
2) I had a boyfriend to go with which meant I could finally wear a couple's costume!

This was also horrible for two reasons.

1) We were super broke.
2) ANNAN HAD A CAST AND WAS WALKING WITH CRUTCHES!

How in the world can you plan a couple's costume if somebody has a cast, sling, or other very visible injury - for $1? (not counting the stuff you have on hand)

Go as Jack and Jill!

Gather supplies:
Rusty looking pail/bucket - FREE if you find a friend who will let you borrow it
"Hello, my name is" tags - $1 from Dollar Tree
Marker - FREE from desk drawer
Makeup - FREE (We used my Ben Nye bruise wheel, but eye shadow will work)
Fall leaves and dirt - FREE from yard
Clothes that can get dirty, ripped jeans preferable - FREE from closet
Gauze, bandaids, medical tape, etc. - FREE from first-aid kit

Total cost: $1

Directions
1) Put on your clothes. Don't forget the crutches or sling if you need them. (and like you could forget the cast anyway)
2) Mess up your hair.
3) Roll around in a pile of leaves. If none stick, make sure to weave them into your hair for added effect.
4) Give each other black eyes (with makeup, of course). Add other bruises, bloody (lipstick) gauze and/or bandaids.
5) Write "Jack" and "Jill" on two separate name tags, and attach to clothes.
6) Grab your pail and go win that couple's costume contest. (Yes, we did, thank you!) :)

Total time: 1 hour (including trip to Dollar Tree)

The Other Best Bridal Shower Game EVER: Dressing for the Honeymoon

2012-10-06T19:51:00.002-07:00

Okay, guys. My post on the Best Bridal Shower Game Ever is by far the most popular post on my blog. It involves lots of bubblegum, a blushing bride, and a lot of laughing for the guests. (Click here to read it)

As a matter of fact, it gets more traffic than all of my other posts COMBINED! I was going through my bridal shower pictures trying to find a cute one to put with that post when I stumbled onto this video gem of The Other Best Bridal Shower Game EVER. For some reason, I had forgotten just how hilarious this game was (perhaps because it is much more fun for the guests than it is for the bride).

Just to convince you it's hilarious...

Yes, that is me... looking like an idiot for the entire internet to see just so that YOU can throw a wonderful bridal shower. Thank me by pinning it, sharing it, and of course, commenting!

My bridesmaids surprised me with this game, and while it made me feel pretty silly the day of the bridal shower, I couldn't stop laughing when I watched the video a year later. For the record, I wouldn't suggest this game for a bride who is self-conscious about her body or hates being the center of attention. Thankfully, I love both.

Dressing for the Honeymoon

Materials:

A cute suitcase or overnight bag
Paper and pens (can be scratch paper from other games)
Tons of funky clothes (see suggestions at end of post)
Blindfold
Timer (the one on your phone will work)

Pre-Shower Prep

Gather materials and place clothes in cute suitcase or overnight bag.
Make sure your video camera has batteries

Game Play:

Explain game to bride and guests. "The bride will have to get dressed for the honeymoon while blindfolded. You have to guess how long you think it will take her. Time will be called when all items are on the bride, and the bride is standing up. Pictures are DEFINITELY encouraged."
Blindfold bride while guests write down their guesses.
Start timer.
Start the video camera, point, and laugh along with everyone else.

Suggestions for items:

Gloves - if you watched my video, I put them on close to the beginning. Stupid... and hilarious.
A cape or apron (or both) - it was so hard to figure out what these were and where they went.
Big clunky shoes (though you should make sure they are not too small and that she takes her shoes off first if you use shoes)
Something sexy - hilarious! Especially if it is difficult to figure out what it is.
Boas, scarves, and other things that go around the neck and easily slip off
Sunglasses - they do NOT go on when you are wearing a blindfold, so it's funny to watch the bride wrestle with them.
Anything random you have hanging in your closet.

Note: Don't go too crazy with items. The more you have, the longer the game takes. I'd limit it to no more than 8 items as long as half are difficult to figure out. If you can't find that many weird ones, bump the number of items up to 12.

How to Build a Happy Marriage: Lessons I Learned from Grandma and Grandpa

2012-06-30T11:24:00.002-07:00

I remember the day Barbie and Ken got married. It was a rainy day outside, and all of the invited stuffed animals, dolls, and even my brother's action figures were in attendance. It was an eclectic group, but Barbie and Ken were popular so everyone came to celebrate their marriage. At the end of the day, they set up house in their Barbie dream home and lived happily ever after. It was as simple as that.

Growing up, I wanted nothing more than to live that dream. Yes, I wanted to be the first female president and a country music singer too, but those were both secondary to wanting a strong and happy home life. When my parents, who had always been my ideal "I want to be like them"-couple got divorced, my dream of domestic happiness shattered into a million pieces. I was a teenager full of anger, frustration, and cynicism. I decided that true forever love just didn't exist, and I was willing to settle for something less.

Enter Grandma and Grandpa.

Well, I say enter, but they had been there all along. As my anger cooled off, I was able to see them more clearly, analyze their relationship, and find new hope for love everlasting. With the recent passing of my beautiful grandma, I felt it only fitting to share with you the secrets of building a happy marriage that my grandparents taught me - mostly by example, and sometimes through words.

1) Laugh together. Grandma and Grandpa were always laughing. You couldn't really hear Grandpa, but you could see him chuckling, and Grandma had a robust laugh that filled the entire house. They were not afraid to laugh at themselves when they did something stupid which meant that there were no hurt feelings when the other person laughed along. They realized that having a happy home requires a little levity - and they were not afraid of finding it in any situation.

2) Take care of each other. Grandma was primarily a homemaker, and Grandpa spent his whole life providing for her and their children. Now I'm not saying that a family has to be set up like this in order to be happy, but there are important lessons to be learned from how they lived their lives. Grandma didn't make dinner and clean the house because she wanted to impress her neighbors; she did it because she loved her family and wanted her husband to be comfortable when he came home. Grandpa didn't work long hours because he wanted to buy the next fancy thing; he did it because he loved his family and wanted his wife to be able to have the things she needed and some of the things she wanted. It's all about motives. And when Grandpa retired, he had no qualms about helping out with the housework - taking over doing the dishes entirely, even though he really didn't like doing them. Grandma and Grandpa were always more concerned about each other than anything else - and that's the only way a marriage can work.

3) Give 110%. I think this is one of the hardest, and it goes along with #2, but Grandma and Grandpa always placed the needs of one another above their own needs. Because they both did this, both of their needs were always met. It is absolutely necessary that both people in a relationship give 110% to make it work. It doesn't work if both people give less, and it doesn't even work if only one person gives less. Both people have to be entirely invested.

4) Learn about each other. People are incredibly complex and as they age, they continue to change and grow. It takes more than a lifetime to get to know someone completely, and in a happy marriage, both partners continue to learn about each other as time goes by. Grandma was so good at remembering the things she had learned over the years about Grandpa. She knew exactly how he liked his foods down to the brand of Cranberry juice. And Grandpa is continuing to learn about Grandma even now that she has passed away because of some of her writings that he has come across.

5)Make and share traditions, inside jokes, and memories. Fifty years is a long time to spend together, and Grandma and Grandpa spent it building a complex web of memories, traditions, jokes, and to a certain extent, even a language. These traditions, jokes, and memories help fortify a marriage during hard times. When life slows down and bodies age, having happy memories to look back on and traditions to continue helps a marriage continue to grow.

6)Don't abandon one another.When Grandma was in her last week of this life, the hospice nurse told us it was so nice to see Grandpa being so attentive and loving to Grandma. She said she didn't see that much. I asked her what she meant, and she said that usually the spouse gets angry at the person who is dying and that it is rare to see a spouse who unselfishly helps the dying person let go in those last hours of life. Grandpa held Grandma's hand as she gradually passed from this life into the next, whispering that he loved her continually. I can understand why some people might begin distancing themselves as someone dies, but in that situation as in all others, my Grandpa was more concerned about my Grandma than he was about himself. Marriages are full of opportunities to walk away, but making a marriage work means not abandoning one another. The security that comes from knowing your spouse is in it for the long haul - no matter what - is the best gift you can give to your husband or wife.

My grandparents helped me overcome my cynicism about love, and their example taught me innumerable lessons about commitment, compassion, and compromise in a marriage. As a newlywed, I strive to have the type of marriage they had, and I believe everyone can benefit from their example.

A Letter to Grandma: On the second birth

2012-05-06T12:50:00.002-07:00

Dear Grandma,

I've had a sense that it was coming for a few months. Something inside of me just felt that a huge struggle was soon going to appear on the horizon. When I felt that we needed to come home over our very short break between semesters, I tried to ignore the feeling that perhaps it was because I needed to see you. When you saw me that Easter afternoon, surprised at my arrival, you ran to me, wrapped me in your arms, and did not let me go for at least five minutes. The first words you spoke reminded me how close you live to our savior. "I was just telling Jesus this morning how much I was going to miss my Bobbie and her sweet man." Once again, I felt that tug of impending hardship, and once again, I tried my best to ignore it. When we were visiting later in the week, you reminded me how a baby in the womb has no idea that there is life outside his mother - and that when your time came to leave this earth, you knew that you would be passing into a new life. Your eyes filled with tears more than usual that day, and later when I brushed your hair, I marveled at how your hair seemed just like mine - how years and years apart in time, there were so many similarities between us.

And then I found out that you have cancer - cancer that could very well take you away from me and the rest of our family very soon. When the words first crawled through the phone line, they seemed to pause before entering my ear; they knew they were unwelcome visitors - that I had been avoiding them for months. But words are stubborn, and once said, they usually make it to their destinations. For a moment, I sat calmly - Doctor Mode - taking in the details, calculating the amount of time I could expect to have with you, wondering if you would be home when I got there. And then I slipped down that slope to - What Can I Do? Mode. I thought of you and how much pain you will endure; I wished I could brush your hair every night and sing you hymns - and hold your hand and stroke your arm as you drift to sleep. I wished I could reverse every day of my childhood that you spent comforting me - repay those tender hours with equal devotion. I thought of Grandpa, and how I just can't imagine him without you... and it made me realize he probably can't either. I wished I could hold his hand, hug him while he cries, and tell him that his tenderness is his greatest strength. I thought of my mom, your baby, and wished more than anything, I could hold her tight and cry with her, and help her through this trial that nobody is ever sufficiently prepared for.

That was enough to make me cry, Grandma, but I want you to know that I was not crying for you. I am absolutely certain of the love that you have for Christ - of the relationship that you have spent your entire life forging. You taught me the meaning of faith; when Grandma prays, things happen. There were times in my life when that was the ONLY spiritual truth I was certain of. You taught me to pray; you taught me to have faith; and you taught me that the greatest strength that I could have as a woman was the strength to let go of my pride and give all my worries and troubles to Jesus. And today, I am doing my best to do that. I am handing this all over to Him and knowing that He knows better than I do.

Grandma, in the midst of all of my worrying about others, I finally allowed my mind to go to the deepest part of my grief, and I have to admit, it's a selfish place. As my eyes overflowed with bitter tears, I could almost see myself pregnant, your soft, life-worn hands rubbing my belly "In the holy name of Jesus, in the holy name of Jesus, in the holy name of Jesus". It was a precious moment - one that subconsciously, I have always looked forward to, perhaps even taken for granted as a real part of my future. I thought of the feeling of a child within me, moving in a way that I know I cannot even imagine - the smile in your eyes because you know the feeling. I saw it all so clearly, and I wanted it. I still want it. I still want that moment and all the moments of you with my baby that I always assumed would follow it. The four generations picture, you giving my babies silly nicknames like you gave all of us, and just knowing that you had seen me fully transition to womanhood. Honestly, as I thought of all those things, I was angry with God for a moment. I felt robbed of the future I wanted - the future where I could be both mother and granddaughter - a link in a chain that truly is endless.

And then, I remembered last Christmas, when you were freaking out since I'd just gotten married, and what if I got pregnant while all the way in Idaho? How would you be able to pray over me and give me comfort and help me through that transition in life if it happened while you were in Illinois, and I was so far away? I remembered how you placed your hands on my babyless belly and prayed that if you were not there to pray for me when I got pregnant, that God would bless me not to feel too much pain, and that He would bless my labors to go quickly and my babies to be healthy. At the time, it seemed to me like you were being a little silly; after all, I was on birth control, and the rest of the family was looking at us wondering if I was secretly pregnant. But now I see that it was just another instance where you were able to see things as they really were long before I could, perhaps without even knowing it.

I'll never forget, Grandma, when I was little and you would hold my hand while I went to sleep - stroking my arm or my forehead. I remember how you said that if you were ever not there to hold my hand, that I could just hold my other hand and know that you were with me. I remember when you gave me the afghan you knit for my graduation - how you said that you had prayed for me the entire time you worked on it and that any time I felt alone, I could wrap up in it, and you would be with me. I want you to know that as I sit here trying to put my love, adoration, and yes, grief, into words, I am blowing you kisses on an "I love you" wave and sending you hugs and kisses through the phone. Your love, grace, faith, and kindness have shaped my life - and they will never stop being a part of who I am. Though the time will soon come when you will pass from this life into the birth of the next, your legacy will live on in me and everyone else whose lives have been shaped by you. And I know, that someday, when I hold my babies, I will see the hand of heaven in the fullness of the cycle of life - and I will know that you have already loved them, blessed them, and probably given them more wisdom than I could ever imagine.

I love you so much, Grandma.
Love,
Bobbie (Lambikin)

Three generations. I am so blessed to have such beautiful women in my life.

This picture was taken Christmas 2011. I'm pretty sure you were laughing because you were giving

Mom a hard time about drinking... and she wasn't listening.

I just love this picture because Grandpa is clearly pretty amused by what you are saying.

Dancing with Grandma! There aren't many people who make me feel like a good dancer,

but you help bring it out in me.

And of course, the most adorable couple in my life.

I love you both so very much. Thank you for teaching

me what true love is all about.

Refining Ruby

2012-04-27T22:55:00.000-07:00

You have braided yourself together,

like strands of woven

gold and silver and

more precious than rubies

in a puff of blue smoke

that produces allergies

and memories of surprise-filled ice cream cones.

Like a stack of Skip-Bo cards,

your pieces are so lovingly worn

from games both won and lost

that even shuffling stacks the deck,

leaving all the right cards

stuck together

in your age-softened hands holding mine.

Tomorrow is another day,

one that, God willing,

will bring more sunshine and video games

and those golden fried chicken livers

and maybe, just maybe, that half of a banana split

you're never able to finish

but today is just today

a day where you made it to the big boss

and found you just couldn't beat him

and now you're calling to the other room

as grandkids watch from the darkened living room's makeshift beds

and your younger version tries to find the right buttons.

And you jump with every jump

and feel the fall that never ends

and wonder why the controller has been handed over

when your body knows the moves,

but

remember

More hands make light work,

and hands saved from peeling potatoes for years of family feasts

have diligently prepared to repay the favor.

It is true that dawn comes in the morning,

but love comes most abundantly

in the night.

Two poems - "It's Not Me, It's" and "That's a Problem"

2012-03-11T15:42:00.002-07:00

This week we had to write a poem in the style of one of the remaining contestants. I had to write in Brianne's style, and had a fun time doing it. My poem is called "It's Not Me, It's". Then she had to write a response poem (in only an hour) before the performance. Note: My poem is based on pre-marriage stuff.

While Brianne was writing her response poem to me, I had to write a response poem to April's poem Problem - which was written in my style. So here's her poem "Problems" in my style, and my response poem "That's a Problem."

My Performance of "Night's Mirrors"

2012-03-11T15:33:00.001-07:00

This was the week with no prompt - so I ended up asking my facebook friends for prompts. I used all of their ideas to create this poem. It's kind of all over the place, but it was fun.

"It All Began with Silverstein" - Tribute to Shel Silverstein

2012-02-22T22:08:00.000-08:00

This is the poem I performed at Last Poet Standing this week. The prompt was Shel Silverstein - whose poetry inspired the fourth-grade me to start writing for more than just school. Feel free to share with your friends.

Next week's prompt is whatever I want to write about.

And I won immunity this week so I can't be voted off next week - which means I've made it to the top 4! Yay!!! Thanks for all your support!

My. Little. Pony. - a Monologue Poem

2012-02-15T23:03:00.000-08:00

This poem was based on a tiny damaged toy pony from the local thrift store. I've never had such a fun prompt to work with. This was my attempt at a monologue poem (I don't even know if that's a real thing or if I made it up) - a poem that is performed as a character rather than as a poet. I hope you enjoy! Warning: I stumbled over my favorite line. It's like my brain just stopped working for a little bit.

Feel free to share with your friends.

Valentine's Day - Feel the Love

2012-02-14T17:26:00.000-08:00

First of all, Valentine's Day has always been one of my favorite holidays. I don't care about all the complaints that it is overly-commercialized, and just a day created by Hallmark to milk you for all you're worth. Even years when I was without a Valentine, I always had a Mom and Dad who gave me a card and an extra hug.

And how could I hate on a day meant to inspire extra love, right?

So, today, I want to dedicate this blog to all the people in my life who have ever loved me. I can't possibly include everyone, but here, online, are the valentines I didn't buy you this year.

Annan,
You are a wonderful man. You make me so happy, and living in a tiny apartment with you is better than I could have possibly imagined. Despite adjustments, crazy schedules, not having a window, and our apartment staying right at 77 degrees, this has been the BEST two months and 11 days of my life. Thank you for giving me happiness I only ever dreamed of.

Aaron,
You are the best little brother in the world. Seriously. I mean, I might have wondered at times when we were little, but they only made the moments I knew that much sweeter. From when you hugged me after my first break-up to when you gave the toast at my wedding reception, you have always been there for me to support me in every way - and to keep secrets when necessary except that one time you told Mom and Dad that I had a boyfriend and hadn't told them back when I was in middle school. That was bogus... :) I love you so much, and I am so proud of the man you have become. I'm excited to see what our futures are like.

Dad,
You were the first man I ever loved, and you still have a huge room in my heart. I appreciate your love, and will spend my whole life giving it back to you. Thank you for being there for me, and supporting me even when you disagree. You have taught me so many things, but most of all, you have taught me how to love and care for your children more than you love and care for yourself. I'll never forget that lesson. I'm so glad you are happy in your life, and will ALWAYS be your little girl.

Mom,
You are the most beautiful woman I know, and I want to be a great mom just like you when I grow up. I am so blessed to have a mother who is also my best friend. I have never doubted that I could go to you regardless of what was going on in my life. Your optimism is one of the guiding lights in my life, and has shaped my view of the world more than almost anything else. I hope that I can be as strong as you are, and love you for every piece of life that you have given me and continue to give me daily.

Rick,
Thank you so much for taking care of Mom and making her so happy. I know I fought against you being a part of my life in the beginning, but I want you to know that I appreciate the influence you have had on me and the rest of our family. You are a good man, and I am glad that you are a part of our family. Thank you for being patient during the years it took me to get to where I am now. Thank you for not pushing your way into my life, and know that in not pushing, you have secured yourself a place there.

Will,
Thank you for supporting my Dad and taking care of him when I can't. Thank you for filling the holes in his life and making him happy again. Thank you for always being sweet to me and making our house feel like home. Thank you for helping Dad see reason when sometimes he doesn't. And most of all, thank you for being a warmth in the house. I'm glad you are a part of our lives.

Thomas,
Thank you so much for making my Dad happy. I can't pretend to really understand, but I know that he has been happier since you have been in his life than I have seen him in a long time. Thank you for trying to become a part of the family and for being so helpful and kind.

Grandma,
You are so full of faith, and I love you so much. I wish I could just wrap you up in a big hug right now. Thank you for being an example of faith, and for loving your family unconditionally. Thank you for taking care of Grandpa and having so much fun with me when I was little - and now too. Thank you for being so cool, so accepting, and warm and open-hearted to newcomers in the family. Thank you for making the best fried potatoes and for cooking without onions when I was little because I hated them so much. Thank you for always protecting your kids and grandkids, and for always having a warm heart and loving hug.

Grandpa,
Thank you for being so kind and gentle - for teaching me the importance of diplomacy and apologizing when you are in the wrong. You are a strong man, and I am so grateful to have had you in my life. I will always appreciate your example, your love, and your advice. And though, I don't love fishing like I used to, and I don't have a yard to get moles in it, I'll never forget the fun times we had together when I was growing up, and the memories we continue to make.

Grosses, (Mom, Dad, & Ealon)
Thank you for making me feel welcome in your home and in your family, but especially thank you for raising such a wonderful husband for me. I love him with all of my heart, and appreciate the parts of you that are in him. Thank you so much for accepting me into your hearts.

Liahona,
My sister I never had before. I'm so grateful that I get to have a sister now, and I am so excited to share our families and lives together. You are a wonderfully strong woman with a big heart, and I appreciate the love that you have shown me. You are a great Mom, and I appreciate your example. You are ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL inside and out. Thank you for making me feel so welcome in your home and family.

Janae,
You are awesome, and I never could have imagined how cool it would be to have a niece so close to my own age. I'm pretty sure you're one of my fave people in the world already, but I look forward to becoming even better friends in the future. I'm excited to see your future pan out and to get to be a part of your life. Know that if you need anything, I'm here for you. I love you!

Sophia,
I miss you bunches and wish I could pick you up, spin you around, and give you tons of kisses. Happy Valentine's Day to a beautiful princess. Uncle Annan and I love you and miss you a ton.

I love you all! Happy Valentine's Day. I hope you are all having the best day ever. <3

Week three of Last Poet Standing

2012-02-09T19:38:00.000-08:00

This poem is about the BYU-Idaho Center - particularly about devotional which takes place there. Devotional is an hour-long spiritual thought that students attend in the middle of the week.

Another reference that people might not recognize (particularly those who are not LDS) is the reference to Nauvoo. Nauvoo, Illinois was a place that many Latter-Day Saints lived at the beginning of the Church's history. They built a beautiful temple there - which took tons of work, sacrifice, and monetary contributions. Eventually, after the martyrdom of Joseph and Hyrum Smith, most Latter-Day Saints took the long journey to the Salt Lake valley to avoid further persecution. They crossed the frozen Mississippi River at the start of their journey, leaving the community and temple they had worked so hard to build for an unknown world before them.

Enjoy! Next week's poem is based on a weird looking pony toy that I'm pretty sure was picked up at a thrift store. Each poet will be writing about a different random thing.