MANY OF THEM HAVE CHANGED

LET US DISCUSS

00:00:00 – Intro

02:00:00ish – End

Episode One-Hundred-and-Forty-Three: Helves Angels

https://www.thrudball.com

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

Also, check out my brother’s band: https://baronstrangeandtheblackbyrds.bandcamp.com/

MANY OF THEM HAVE CHANGED

LET US DISCUSS

00:00:00 – Intro

02:00:00ish – End

Episode One-Hundred-and-Forty-Two: BB2025 Edition Episode Three – Star Players

https://www.thrudball.com

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

MANY OF THEM HAVE CHANGED

LET US DISCUSS

00:00:00 – Intro

00:18:00 – How did we talk for 18 minutes without talking skills yet?

02:44:00 – End

Episode One-Hundred-and-Forty-One: BB2025 Edition Episode Two – Skills

https://www.thrudball.com

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

So much to discuss! We’ve broken it into itty bitty bits. Today, we’re talking about everything that isn’t skills, stars, rosters or players. What’s even left to talk dissect? Oh my sweet Summer child…

00:00:00 – Intro

00:05:00 – Dogs and cats living together. Mass hysteria!

02:07:00 – End

Episode One-Hundred-and-Forty: 2020 Is Dead! Long live 2025!s

https://www.thrudball.com

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

While they’re here, they tell us all sorts of interesting tidbits from the heady days of the BBRC. Tune in to learn just why Slann aren’t in BB, and a whole host of other interesting facts…

00:00:00 – Intro

00:39:45 – The Aussies Arrive

02:05:00 – The Aussies Depart

02:40:00 – End

Episode One-Hundred-and-Thirty-Nine: Slanntastic Scoop feat. Down Underworld Denizens

PS! Check out Tat’s Tabletop! Verified good chap.

https://www.facebook.com/p/Tats-Tabletop-61553069981805/

https://www.ebay.co.uk/str/tatstabletop

https://www.instagram.com/tatstabletop/

https://www.thrudball.com

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

00:00:00 – AAAARGH!

02:10:00ish – End

Episode One-Hundred-and-Thirty-Eight: Third Season Edition!!!

https://www.thrudball.com

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

Let’s talk about it at length!!!

00:00:00 – Blood bowl! And Stuff!

02:10:00ish – End

Episode One-Hundred-and-Thirty-Seven: Post Thrud 2025

https://www.thrudball.com

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

00:00:00 – Blood bowl! And Stuff!

01:49:00ish – End

Episode One-Hundred-and-Thirty-Six: Spiky!

https://www.thrudball.com

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

00:00:00 – Oh man, so much, really.

02:49:00ish – Bloodblusters

02:50:00ish – End

Episode One-Hundred-and-Thirty-Five: El Heffe (Q)

https://www.thrudball.com

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

00:00:00 – Intro and NAF SUPER TOUR

01:30:00ish – BARNSTAPLE BASH, or was it EXETER EXECUTIONS, or was it DUNNY-ON-THE-WOLD DERBY?

02:00:00ish – Bloodblusters

02:30:00ish – End

Episode One-Hundred-and-Thirty-Four: We Found Twelfman, He Might Have Been Hiding In A Bin, We’re Not Sure, But He Smells Weird (Weirder Than Normal)

https://www.thrudball.com

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

00:00:00 – Intro

01:45:00ish – End

Episode One-Hundred-and-Thirty-Three: I Hear They Talk About Sporting Giants a Lot

https://www.thrudball.com

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

What (else) could go wrong?

00:00:00 – Intro

01:10:01 – Recipes? Who knows, honestly.

02:11:00ish – End

Episode One-Hundred-and-Thirty-Two: The One-Hundred-and-Thirty-Second Episode!

https://www.thrudball.com

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

(and repeat)

What could go wrong?

00:00:00 – Intro

00:00:01 – VOID WHERE FAQ SHOULD BE! PANIC! PANIC!

01:55:00ish – End

Episode One-Hundred-and-Thirty-One: The FAQ Be Still Not Here, Oh Well, Let Us Not Talk Of The Old Ways

https://www.thrudball.com

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

What (else) could go wrong?

00:00:00 – Intro

00:00:01 – BUT WHERE IS THE FAQ?!

02:01:00ish – End

Episode One-Hundred-and-Thirty: Where The FAQ?

https://www.thrudball.com

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

Well!

What (else) could go wrong?

00:00:00 – Intro

00:00:01 – Chorfs and Bloodblusters until end. Hey, this part remained unchanged from last time. How interesting.

01:30:00ish – End

Episode One-Hundred-and-Twenty-Nine: Tackle-free And Hating Life

https://www.thrudball.com

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

What (else) could go wrong?

-01:30:23 – Really good content all about the Blood Bath tournament.

-00:1:33 – The Realisation.

00:00:00 – Intro v2.0

00:00:01 – Chorfs and Bloodblusters until end

01:15:00ish – End

Episode One-Hundred-and-Twenty-Eight: Chorf, son of Mogh

https://www.thrudball.com

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

What could go wrong?

00:00:00 – Intro

00:00:01 – Listen, it’s just Thrudball, okay? All the way through. What did you expect?

02:23:00ish – End

Episode One-Hundred-and-Twenty-Seven: Thrud 2024 Post-scussion

https://www.thrudball.com

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

We finish with a Bloodblusters from Nightwing. I hope you remember 2nd edition… What could go wrong?

00:00:00 – Intro

00:01:00 – God, just so much stuff.

02:17:00ish – End

Episode One-Hundred-and-Twenty-Six: Thrud 2024 Prescussion

This week (lol) they’re talking about the the latest FAQ that gone done been released, a tournament that Mike went to, vampire discussion, as well as all sorts of bits of news about Thrud, declaring the short story contest winner, and even about books. Also, Twelfman slags off Glowworm about four times. What’s that guys problem?

We round it off with a Bloodblusters from Nazgob involving complicated scenarios and detailed analysis. What could go wrong?

00:00:00 – Intro

00:01:00 – God, just so much stuff.

02:17:00ish – End

Episode One-Hundred-and-Twenty-Five: FAQ You I Won’t Do What You Tell Me

Don’t forget to vote on your favourite short story from last+1 episode!

00:00:00 – Intro

00:01:00 – Gnomes, again

02:16:00ish – End

Episode One-Hundred-and-Twenty-Four: Positively Informed Gnome Discussion

Don’t forget to vote on your favourite short story from last episode!

00:00:00 – Intro

00:01:00 – Gnomes

02:00:00ish – End

Episode One-Hundred-and-Twenty-Three: Less Rampant Gnome Discussion

And we have the entries for the short story competition! Vote for your favourite below and next episode we’ll crown our winner.

Plus, Twelfman popped over and to say ‘hi’ on another podcast: Players to Nuffle. Go and check them out here: https://playerstonuffle.podbean.com/ Tune in to listen and see if they can do better or worse than the ABAO squad at a devilish Bloodblusters round where Twelfman asks each podcast the exact same set of questions…

00:00:00 – Intro

00:01:00 – Naz Being Mean To Some Newbies

00:50:00 – Rampant Gnome Speculation

01:22:00 – Short Story Readings

02:10:00ish – Bloodblusters

02:45:00ish – End

Episode One-Hundred-and-Twenty-Two: Rampant Gnome Speculation (And Short Stories)

I know they’re talking about Bubba and the NAF presidency, though, so there’s that.

Extra! We are going to be running another Short Story competition, like we did way back when. The rules are simple. Submit a short story of no longer than 1000 words to this form, and we will read it out on air and pick a winner. Easy! Your deadline is: 23:59 on 01/04/2024. Submit it here!

00:00:00 – Intro

00:01:00 – Bubba/NAF Presidency

01:30:00ish – End

Shirts and Stuff: https://teespring.com/en-GB/stores/abao

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.thrudball.com/

Episode One-Hundred-and-Twenty: It’s The One Hundred-And-Twenty-First Episode!

Shirts and Stuff: https://teespring.com/en-GB/stores/abao

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.thrudball.com/

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

Extra! We are going to be running another Short Story competition, like we did way back when. The rules are simple. Submit a short story of no longer than 1000 words to this form, and we will read it out on air and pick a winner. Easy! Your deadline is: 23:59 on 01/01/2024. Submit it here!

00:00:00 – Intro

01:00:00 – Some inane nonsense or other

01:20:00ish – End

Shirts and Stuff: https://teespring.com/en-GB/stores/abao

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.thrudball.com/

Episode One-Hundred-and-Twenty: It’s The One Hundred-And-Twentieth Episode!

Shirts and Stuff: https://teespring.com/en-GB/stores/abao

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.thrudball.com/

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

Extra! We are going to be extending the current Short Story competition, like we did way back when. The rules are simple. Submit a short story of no longer than 1000 words to this form, and we will read it out on air and pick a winner. Easy! Your deadline is: 23:59 on 01/02/2024. Submit it here!

Here’s a new game.. How long into the episode do we actually start talking Blood Bowl? The answer may surprise you.

Shirts and Stuff: https://teespring.com/en-GB/stores/abao

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.thrudball.com/

Episode One-Hundred-and-Nineteen: Cross Words

Shirts and Stuff: https://teespring.com/en-GB/stores/abao

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.thrudball.com/

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

But what’s this? It’s the ABAO Blood Bowl Themed Cryptic Cross, created by the one-and-only Landrover! Fill it in correctly and send it to us to have your name entered into a prize draw: ABAO_Xmas_cryptic_2023

Extra! We are going to be running another Short Story competition, like we did way back when. The rules are simple. Submit a short story of no longer than 1000 words to this form, and we will read it out on air and pick a winner. Easy! Your deadline is: 23:59 on 01/01/2024. Submit it here!

00:00:00 – Intro

01:12:00 – Some inane nonsense or other

02:02:00ish – End

Shirts and Stuff: https://teespring.com/en-GB/stores/abao

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.thrudball.com/

Episode One-Hundred-and-Eighteen: It’s The One Hundred-And-Eighteenth Episode!

Shirts and Stuff: https://teespring.com/en-GB/stores/abao

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.thrudball.com/

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

Subscribe to the Team England newsletter here.

Extra! We are going to be running another Short Story competition, like we did way back when. The rules are simple. Submit a short story of no longer than 1000 words to this form, and we will read it out on air and pick a winner. Easy! Your deadline is: 23:59 on 01/01/2024. Submit it here!

00:00:00 – Intro and Team England Discussion

01:12:00 – FAQs

02:20:11 – End

Shirts and Stuff: https://teespring.com/en-GB/stores/abao

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.thrudball.com/

Episode One-Hundred-and-Seventeen: KFAQed

Shirts and Stuff: https://teespring.com/en-GB/stores/abao

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.thrudball.com/

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

We also do Bloodblusters based on everyone’s favourite thing: Big data! Tables! Databases! And sometimes… the data lies.

00:00:00 – Intro

00:31:15 – Full disclosure, it’s late, and I don’t want to have to go through the episode and find all the timestamps

01:09:11 – Sometimes it’s easy, you know? But other days, you think… it’s late, bed is waiting, and what’s it all for?

01:29:12 – Why?

01:49:33 – Are you listening, God?

02:17:30 – End

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ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.thrudball.com/

Episode One-Hundred-and-Sixteen: The Bellowing Belfries

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ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.thrudball.com/

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

We’re also talking about the upcoming election for the captain of Team England.

Plus, you should go to the tournament Screaming Spires: https://talkfantasyfootball.org/viewtopic.php?p=824707#p824707.

00:00:00 – Intro

00:00:35 – Look, I wasn’t there this time

00:22:00 – So I don’t know when they talked about stuff.

00:45:00 – You think I want to listen back to all this natter?

01:04:32 – It’s hard enough editing it.

01:13:10 – And they just go on and on and on…

01:31:08 – Ah! I do know when it ends though.

01:39:34 – End

Shirts and Stuff: https://teespring.com/en-GB/stores/abao

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.thrudball.com/

Episode One-Hundred-and-Fifteen: The ‘Necks’ Team England Captain

Shirts and Stuff: https://teespring.com/en-GB/stores/abao

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.thrudball.com/

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

Note: If you would rather spend five-and-a-half hours listening to us rambling, you can hear the podcast episode about the world cup here.

Can you believe it’s been four years since the last Blood Bowl world cup? Neither can I. A lot has happened since then, from Covid-19 to a whole new version of Blood Bowl (Second Season, O Future Readers).

Like last time, I’m going to assume you know what Blood Bowl is. The World Cup is a team tournament runs once every four years. There’s a huge ceremony to decide who runs it, with bids, committees and all sorts. This year, it was Alicante, Spain that was chosen to be the venue. The organisers put up their website, and all was quiet for a while… All of a sudden someone realised that a few people were signing up for this event. Quite a few. Lots, even. Then it was announced that not only was Alicante looking to exceed the respectable 1400 or so coaches that attended Dornbirn, but they were looking to exceed it by nearly a thousand coaches! By the time registration was over, there was to be over 2200 coaches attending the tournament.

That’s insane!

I was proud to be flying the flag of one of the ten (!) Squad Chaos teams, and what was better is that I wasn’t captain, or even vice captain. That meant I got to do what players normally do and wander around getting lost and turning up late while the captain pulls their hair out and sends abusive text messages.

I was, of course, bringing los chicos huesudos, which Bing reliably tells me is the right translation for The Boney Boys. Khemri are my one true Blood Bowl love (apart from Elves and Goblins, and Ogres, oh and Slann…), and I am lucky enough to count myself quite highly placed with them in the global rankings. I thought this would be a good opportunity to see if I can break through and settle myself on top of the great pile of golden skulls that is the Top Khemri. That, and I just like playing them.

My roster was: 4 Guard Tomb Guardians, 2 Block Throw-Ras*, 1 Tackle/Mighty Blow Blitz-Ra*, 1 normal Blitz Ra*, 7 Skeletons, 2 Rerolls and an assistant coach.

*I’ll be long in my sarcophagus before I start calling them anointed!

You might look at that and frown, and who can blame you? “Fifteen players, Alex?” I hear you say. “Who hurt you? Was it Merrick? Surely you should swap some of those useless skeletons for some lovely rerolls?”

The answer is that I play my Khemri as safely and conservatively as possible (which is also why I like playing Goblins because it gives me a chance to go bananas). Playing them like this means that it’s quite often that I don’t use both of my rerolls on a given drive. It also means that I need to maintain the numbers, regardless of what happens, so a deep, deep bench means I am always setting up with the full 11, no matter what. It also lets me foul, throw away skeletons etc without having to worry about it.

The skill setup is what I consider to be the standard when playing Khemmers at a tournament: Guard up the wazoo, Tackle/MB, Block on both Throw-Ras. Block on the Throwers is vital IMO, as is Guard. Without it, you’ll struggle.

I was flying the flag for Team Khorne (each of the Squad Chaos teams was named after a Chaos God, so we had the usual suspects plus some more exotic ones like Morr and The Horned Rat). With me was Nazgob, our halfling-toting leader, Landrover and his all-frenzy Khorne, fallingdownjoe and his terrifying Skaven, Maverick and his disgusting Chaos Pact and lastly but not leastly monkeytrumpet and his Underworld. We were all planning to bring our A-game, and have all had some success individually in the past. We were hoping to achieve big things in Alicante this year! (Spoilers, we didn’t win. Sorry to burst the dramatic tension, but I thought you deserved to know!)

Travel

Travelling to Alicante was a fairly straight-forward affair for me, thankfully. I finagled my way into getting a lift to Bristol airport on the 6pm flight direct, landed at around half nine, got a cab to the AC Marriot and went to bed like a rockstar. Not!

I arrived too late to see the opening ceremony sadly, but not too late to enjoy a few rounds of Cockroach Poker and Zombie Dice. Full disclosure: I’m not a massive fan of Zombie Dice. It’s fine, but I lose interest after about one round. Cockroach Poker, on the other hand, I will play for hours.

The hotel was nice. It had a pool allegedly, but I never saw it (I left before it opening and arrived after it closed.) The breakfasts were typically hotelly, but that’s fine be me. So long as I can get beans and bread plus coffee, I’m happy.

Before retiring to bed at the relatively sensible time of 1am, I confirmed what time we needed to get up in the morning for the bus. How I laughed when my captain, the old joker, told me the bus left at 7.15am. Haha, I said, hahaha. He wasn’t laughing however, so I dragged my sorry ass downstairs at quarter to 7 for a quick breakfast then a short stroll to the bus stops.

Note: I invented a new dish on Thursday morning. I accidentally sprinkled a packet of sugar on my baked beans, creating what we dubbed ‘sweet beans’. While it makes a cool NAF name, it makes a gross breakfast.

Day One

07.15 buses are no fun for anyone, and as a person, I didn’t have fun. However, moving this many people around is a feat in and of itself, and the organisers made it very simple for me and the other hundreds of people to get the venue. Everywhere you looked you saw busses that said “NAF V World Cup” on them, and I have to say I found it a little exciting. There’s something about being part of an event like this that gets the blood flowing. It’s times like this I wish I was into sport.

We arrived at the venue nice and early with plenty of time to dedicate myself to Khorne, our patron. When I was suitably daubed, the sheer size of it finally hit me. There were a lot of Blood Bowl coaches here. A LOT. When I’d lifted my jaw off the floor, I used the opportunity to scope out the bathrooms, various stands and stalls, ref station and breakout spaces, then, before I knew it, it was time to start…

Game One: Table 87. SquadChaos – Khorne VS Dopebowl Rats.

Black Orcs ~ Coach: Xiao (NAF Rating 164.23)

What we realised when we turned up is that we were behind the Dopebowl Rats in the queue to get in. What are the odds? As we got chatting, their captain (a lovely chap called also rocking Tomb Kings calle Lewishm) agreed with us that the early start was a killer, and that he hadn’t even managed to get any breakfast. You don’t get to my BMI without always having food on you, and as I had smuggled some fruit from the hotel that morning, I offered him an apple with the proviso that he throw the game. His honour remained true, however, and the spoilsport declined to commit fraud for an apple. (I gave him the apple anyway, I’m not heartless, but someday, someplace, Lewishm, I will call upon this favour.)

I was playing Xiao (Heather). The team were based in Scotland but had gathered a few randomers, but Xiao was definitely from our celtic brother-nation. She was rocking Black Orcs, which I’m fine with (despite having a modicum of PTSD after a certain final game at UKTC). A fairly standard Blorc team, with a few block, a few mighty blow, a few goblins.

The first half was a grindy punch-fest, as you could imagine. I was able to walk it in by turn 8, though, so that’s one thing crossed off my tournament bucket-list (score at least once). The troll tried to throw a goblin and failed. This would be a recurring theme.

The second half started and the punchfest continued. Xiao tried to break free, but all my horrible Khemri were in the way. Eventually she tried to throw the goblins again, but the Troll decided that throwing team-mates was beneath him, and flubbed every time. We had Really Stupid rolls fail, Always Hungry ones fail, Fumbles… basically everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong. With that, I was able to cause enough mayhem that Heather wasn’t able to score, and I was able to secure a win. (That’s another thing off the list!)

Result: Win || 2-1, 2-4c 

Lunch! I’m not sure what it was, but the tortillas were tasty. Aubergine something?

They had a huge line outside where they were making the largest paella I’ve ever seen, but for us fussy types, we had a special desk indoors where our name was checked off of a list and we were given our dietary needs. It all seemed fine, except for the time it took to queue. At Dornbirn the queue for lunch was surprisingly swift, but not in Alicante. Plus, I queued all the way up in the paella queue only to find out I was meant to be in the other queue. Drat and rackum frackum…  

Game Two: Table 37. SquadChaos – Khorne VS Unikhornes.

Underworld ~ Coach: Meradanis (NAF Rating 176.16)

Bastien lured me in with his kind words and warm smile, then dashed my hopes against the rocks when he let me know he was using Underworld (urk!) with Varag (URK!). I haven’t tested myself against the new Underworld yet, but had heard they had been making waves on the tournament scene, due to a couple of factors.

1. Gutter Runner
2. Snotlings allowing >11 players on the pitch
3. Excellent Star Player access
4. Cheating horrible goblins

Bastien’s team was scary. Varag is a monster these days: S5, Block/Mighty Blow, a once-per-game +1 to armour rolls. My Khemri did not like.

The first drive was mine, and I tried to grind my way up, but struggled. It was a combo of having enough chaff to mark up my useful players (despite my Tackle/MB removing three snotlings in a row), and the fact that Varag could rip my TG’s a new face-hole whenever the mood took him that led my drive slowing and stopping, so I was unable to get the score. It might all be okay though, with a little bit of luck…

So anyway we rolled a ridiculous pitch invasion. It’s not like in the old days, where in theory your whole team could go down, but just look at this:

Three of my players went down: Three positionals, all right next to one another. Lovely big Gutter Runner sized gap, anyone?!

Stopping a Gutter Runner is not an easy task, and Basiten played this half correctly – instead of charging through the gap, he waited and waited, slowing pulling apart my defence until the right moment arrived, then just rushed his GR down the side, miles away from where anyone could stop him. My team started leaving the pitch at a rate of knots. I was never able to threaten him, and so the game ended 1-0 to Bastien.

Just look at my poor, poor Dead/Injured box. This is why I bring 15 players!

Result: Loss || 0-1, 5-4c 

Game Three: Table 86. SquadChaos – Khorne VS HELLDICE CLUB.

Dark Elves ~ Coach: drannakh (NAF Rating 181.16)

Argh! Dark Elves! I find the Dark Elves/Khemri match up to be particularly hard, but also relish the challenge. You have to play perfectly, but DE will exploit that one single positional error and capitalize on your failure.

Drannakh was playing fairly standard DE: Dodge blitzers, Block/Wrestle Witches, Apothecary… oh, and two Assassins. Two? A little part of me felt good about this. Assassins used to be considered a joke positional, only good against Amazons and Wardancers. And my opponent took two? This would be easy.

It was not.

It was all going so well… I received, and was able to create a hefty cage without difficulty. I took my blitzes carefully, and got ready for the big push. My opponent had been playing a tight screen, but even Dark Elves struggle when the Khemri Pain Train gets a-chuggin’.

I blitzed open a path and marked everyone up, meaning the only change he had was to dodge away or take uphill blocks.

Or stab.

After thinking about it for a few minutes, Drannakh announced he would stab my Tomb Guardian as his first action. He would have to break armour for it to have any effect, which was a 10+ roll, no modifiers.

A few moments later, as I was placing my poor Guardian in the KO box, this gap meant that with a few dodges he was able to engineer a 1d block on another Tomb Guardian, who also went down, who also got KOd. Ouch.

As you can imagine, the rest of the drive descended into chaos. My Tackle/MB Blitz-ra got stabbed into, you guessed it, the KO box. My cage got deleted. Eventually, he was able to get a -2db on my ball carrier, which was done by… an assassin. Who took him down. The ball bounced away, and there went my hopes and dreams!

It could have been okay, but a series of lucky breaks scuppered it. I managed to retrieve the ball, but couldn’t protect it. Drannakh had one turn, and it all went right… he had to knock the ball down, plus it had to scatter off the pitch, plus it had to be thrown towards my end zone, plus it had to be thrown a small distance so his one and only receiver could reach it. It all worked, and I ended my opponents drive 1-0 down… uh oh!

This drive was a much more defensive affair for my opponent. He stayed way back, letting me come to him. Thankfully, my Tackle/MB had come back, and was taking out his frustration on Blitzers, removing elves with alarming speed. It was getting clear that Drannakh had to do something soon, or the wave of Khemri would overwhelm him. 

He tried to break free, but an inopportune failed dodge robbed him of his chance to go 2-0 up. I had one turn left, one reroll left, the ball was on the floor and my one guy in scoring range was being marked:

What followed was a sequence of dice that, if it worked, would reverse all my bad luck that I had received this game. Here’s what needed to happen…

1. Two blocks with skeletons to get the elves off the ball
2. Blitz with a Tomb Guardian to free up my Blitz-Ra
3. Prone Throw-Ra picks up the ball, makes two GFIs to make a short-pass to the Blitz-Ra
4. Blitz-Ra needs to catch, then make two GFIs to score.

To my astonishment, it almost worked. The thrower had to use Pass, but did so, making the 4+ throw. My heart was in my mouth, but then the Blitz-ra failed the catch! Bummer! 

Unless…

We scattered the drop, which, with a 1-in-8, landed on my Tomb Guardian. He failed to catch the bouncing ball, and it scattered again. It scattered… with a 1-in-8, onto my Blitz-Ra… Who caught it on a 5!

I had no rerolls left, and so just charged forward, make the two GFIs, and walked it in for 1-1 on Turn 16. What a rush!!

My opponent laughed with me, because what else could he do?

That put me on 1-1-1 for the day, which, while it’s fine, I was a little disappointed with. Thankfully, there was much still to come…

Result: Draw || 1-1, 2-0c 

That evening we went to a nice bar that served what I think was considered tapas, but I’ve never seen spring rolls on bread before.

It was quite cool how you ordered. A server would walk around with plates of gubbins, and you’d help yourself to whatever you wanted. When you were done, you just paid for the number of sticks you had left over.

Either way, it was tasty, and we watched rugby on an itty bitty phone.

Day Two

The view from my room was stunning.

Game Four: Table 91. SquadChaos – Khorne VS Team Drop Bear.

Chaos Renegades ~ Coach: DaBlackSkull (NAF Rating 155.87)

It’s always a secret hope in these events that you will play someone who travels from a long distance away. It sucks when you travel halfway across the world and you’re matched against someone from your local league or tournament scene. We were delighted therefore to be paired against Team Drop Bear, hailing all the way from New Zealand! (Joking, they were Australians.)

Before the game started, their captain, Zagor, stood up and addressed Squad Chaos. He had brought gifts, which was nice enough, but the gifts he had obtained were of the agricultural variety. Nazgob was given a bag of spinach (to give his little guys strength), Maverick was given an assorted bag of root vegetables (to go with his assorted bag of positionals), and I was given, to my astonishment and joy, an enormous watermelon with a face on. 

Why? Well, as anyone who attended thrudball this year will know, there was a bit of a theme, and I may have been involved in making it a little more melony than it would have been had nature taken its course. The melon naturally became my mascot, and indeed the mascot for the whole squad, and spent the next couple of days always at my side, spectating the games, getting gradually more and more khornate as time passed. First, the symbol of Khorne appeared. Then the eyes went, followed by the symbol… then the mouth… it started getting creepy.

Anyway, the game.

My opponent was playing Chaos Renegades, which I’m fine with. Lots of high strength, lots of death potential, lots of power. I like bashy games, because Khemri work best when they’re in a tight knot.

The best part of this game was when the troll tried to projectile vomit, was sick on itself, broke its own armour, died (as in, a 16 on the injury dice), then regenerated. The second best part was when I asked “Hey, has your Rat Ogre killed your orc yet?” and my opponent said: “No”, then immediately killed his orc with his rat ogre.

During his drive, my oppo held me off as long as possible before having to make a desperate elf-passing play. It almost went perfectly, but ended up being a Wildly Inaccurate pass, throwing it right into a scrum of my players. 

We had rolled Really Sunny for the kickoff, and we thought, hey, Pact vs Khemri, who cares? But afterwards, we realised that were it not for that weather result, there’s every chance the game would have been a totally different result. Firstly on that elf pass (which, if successful, would have put the ball carrier way out of my reach), and second with a Throw Team-Mate that failed by a single pip.

In the last turn, my opponent had the one turn opportunity, but I got a perfect defence, and so just slapped TGs on him. He had a chance to push them off, but it would have involved using the Mino to block instead of blitz, which he did, but rolled double both downs, and thus couldn’t use Juggernaut as it was a block not a blitz.

It was a great game, but I would say luck favoured me, and I was able to walk away with the win. It was a fantastic match though.

There was a booth that was doing photos like this, which is great! And they were free!

Result: Win || 2-1, 4-4c

Lunch time again, and we decided not to queue up right away, and instead play a fun game of Rat Ogre Ball. We introduced the aussies to it, and soon we had five people playing at once.

What is Rat Ogre Bowl, I hear you cry? It’s a game of deep tactics and steeped in tradition. Nah, it’s not. It’s basically: who can score first. Everyone gets a Rat Ogre, and that’s it. Good luck!

Lunch for me on day two was a stir fry situation with a sort of flatbread flour pancake thing. It was fine, but I still don’t understand the flatbread.

Game Five: Table 49. SquadChaos – Khorne VS Equipe Des Francs.

Norse ~ Coach: Osskpo (NAF Rating 191.61)

Norse! Again, I don’t mind Norse. My opponent was playing a sensible looking roster with the Big Guy rocking MB, a Block and a Dodge Valkyrie, Block Ulfs and Guard Berserkers. 

Now, sometimes Nuffle decides before you roll any dice that you’re going to lose. 

However, sometimes he decides you’re going to win!

My poor opponent couldn’t catch a break. I killed the Yeti on turn 2. Everything he did he failed, poor sod, so it was simple enough for me to just steamroller over everything and walk it in on turn 8.

Always watching.

He failed to pickup literally 4 turns in a row on his drive, and I was applying pressure everywhere. He had 0 rerolls left, his team in bits… all he had was a hope and a prayer. Thankfully, Nuffle often has a sense of humour, and so while at the start every dice was a load of hit sick, all of a sudden the dice exploded. Every dodge worked, every GFI worked, every 1db worked. Even mine, with one exception. 

(Skeleton, what are you doing with the ball? This is ridiculous)

I was dodging with Blitz-ras to get one dice blocks, dodging skeletons for assists. For three turns in a row, I was able to blitz the ball carrier… but I couldn’t knock him down. Did he have Dodge? No. Did it matter? No! I By turn 16, his random lineman was one square from the end zone and marked on every side bar one. All he had to do was make a single, final 3+ dodge, with no rerolls, to go 1-1 on turn 16. Nuffle blessed him, and I can’t be upset, not with the dead Yeti on turn 2…

He looks closed in, but this norseman is slippery! 

Result: Draw || 1-1, 4-1c 

Game Six: Table 82. SquadChaos – Khorne VS MBBC.

Orc ~ Coach: Redlantern (NAF Rating 151.23)

Sebastien is a french coach with a sense of fun. Their whole team was stuffed full of stunties, so I was pleased to learn I was going to be facing the one orc team in their squad (boo!). However, he did have three goblins, so there is that!

Poor Sebastien. He told me up front that he doesn’t like bringing the thrower… words that will haunt him. He also came in under budget, which one of his friends (also a ref) told me with a smile. What a guy.

So, the game started, and, like before, it was a slow, grinding game full of back and forth. I was able to break through, but only just, and it was a real close cut thing to score. Thankfully, I was able to, and walked it in on turn 8.

The Throw Team-Mate failed, and we were on for another 8 turns of punching.

What happened though is my poor opponent couldn’t pick the ball up for love nor money. He did once manage to lift it, but, due to some shenanigans from me, he dropped it. Each player was tied up, but I had just enough bodies in the way that he had no clear run through. If Sebastien had been able to pick the ball up even once, we probably would have drawn, but we watched time and time again as his goblins flubbed pickup after pickup after pickup. I bed he wished he’d brought a thrower after all!

Also, their team gave us another fantastic gift: a bottle of wine!

Result: Win || 1-0, 0-3c 

That evening we went off to find more rugby. Remember the faces of those in the back. What do you mean they’re too blurry to see?

Squad Khorne drinking off a tough day of hard work. Or something.

Day Three

Getting the taxi to the venue was more expensive, but that extra hour in the morning was divine.

Game Seven: Table 47. SquadChaos – Khorne VS All star cryers.

Norse ~ Coach: Viking634 (NAF Rating 150.03)

More Norse! A very similar roster, but this time with Block everywhere he could stuff it.

Now, I started to feel ill during this game. Spain is a hot country anyway (no duh) and putting that many people in one room can make things warmer (though I will say the air con in the venue was great). However, I started to get sweaty and groggy, and confused, and generally feel absolutely dreadful.

It turns out that I had managed to contract covid somehow. Probably on the flight over. Last time I had the dreaded virus, it hit me like a tonne of bricks. This time… well, I didn’t know I had it until I got back, and I still have it as I write these words. It wasn’t as bad as last time, but it was by no means good. I’m just thankful I had a team full of wonderful people that cared for me, including pling me with drugs and helping me cool down by finding a huge basin and dousing me in water. So, thank you to landrover in particular, but also to everyone else who helped and asked how I was doing. You guys are the best.

Anyway, the game. It was a good one, just like all of my other games, and Nuffle favoured me where it mattered. No dead yeti in this one (boo!) but the luck fell on my side where it mattered, and I was able to score and turn my opponent over before he had a chance to get started.

Result: Win || 1-0, 0-2c 

All those tasty looking sandwiches… I like cous cous, but those sarnies looked good.

It might have just been the illness, but I was starting to get a little narked at all the smoke. I usually don’t care about smoking, but there was nowhere I could go that was 1) outside, 2) had shade, and 3) didn’t stink of smoke. Oh well.

Can you see the illness beginning to form? It’s subtle, but the signs are there.

Game Eight: Table 29. SquadChaos – Khorne VS Cry Maluzos.

Dark Elf ~ Coach: Eki (NAF Rating 227.32)

I was really feeling bad by this point, so I was delighted to be faced against more blooming Dark Elves. Aargh!

Another fairly normal roster, thankfully only one assassin this time, but also a Leader Runner. 

My opponent’s half started carefully; he received the ball and ran back, forming a wide screen with no obvious way through. Sensing deja vu, I responded in kind, and we had a tense few turns of us literally moving barely any players. I was waiting for him to make his move, and he was waiting for an opening.

This all suited me fine as I didn’t have to engage my brain. I was too busy hallucinating pink elephants and dreaming of cool streams.

The temporary shrine.

When he did seize forward, he was able to break through and score on his turn 8. We finished the whole half in easily 40 minutes. 

Okay, no problem, thought I… A draw was still on the cards.

Stinking elves!

The second half couldn’t have been more different. I had to press forward, and my oppo resisted. The first half had been tense and standoffish, and this was a slug fest worthy of an orc game. 

By the end of it, it was a game of many small conflicts, and I had my single Throw-Ra, marked by two elves, with the ball on the floor in the end zone, marked by an elf.

I had a long think about this, and my team were all done and spectating. I could either do a 2d uphill blitz, followed by a dodge, and a 4+ pickup, or a 4+ dodge, then a 5+ pickup. Both are pretty crappy, but I elected for the dodge and 5+ pickup. I had a reroll for the dodge, which I needed… Then I walked onto the ball, rolled a 1, picked up the dice… rolled a 6. 1-1. What a game!

Result: Draw || 1-1, 3-1c 

Landrover showing us how to ‘open’ a bottle of wine ‘with nothing but a shoe’.

Even Khornate Champions enjoy the odd tipple. 

Game Nine: Table 54. SquadChaos – Khorne VS The Brave Potatoes.

Skaven ~ Coach: camelchops (NAF Rating 205.37)

Skaven… An interesting matchup, and one I have won, lost and drew, so I had no idea what was going to happen. I was full on in the fug of disease here though, so as far as I’m concerned it’s a miracle I didn’t collapse. I know, I’m so brave.

Anyway, another Scot today, and the team contained my good mate Pedda. What was fun is the Brave Potatoes were a team we bumped into in the pub on the Saturday night when we went to go and find the rugby. What are the chances?

Anyway, so, Skaven…

It started so well. I ground down the pitch for a squeaky TD on turn 8. It wasn’t easy, and involved having to blitz my way through on 1d with the Ball Carrier for the score, but I’ll take it.

Just look at that beautiful Khemri cage. Brings a tear to me eye, it does.

Turn 8, my oppo set up for the one turner. He had kept a GR in reserve just for this, and his Juggernaut Rogre meant he had a good chance at it. I took this opportunity to go get some fresh air and pop to the gents, so after about 15 minutes, my oppo was ready to go.

Unfortunately, fatigue is a very real thing, and after rolling a dice or two, he announced that he had set up 12 players. Argh! In the new rules this means I can choose a player to get sent off, and I chose the Rat Ogre. The OTTD failed, and I was 1-0 going into the second half.

The blessed air con.

Similar to the last game, my oppo took the ball and literally ran back to within 5 squares of his end zone. I moved to within 8 squares and waited, letting him make the first move. In hindsight, maybe I should have pressed on, but I think I did the right thing. We had literally four turns of us going “End turn, yours. End turn, yours,” which we both had a laugh about.

On turn 6, he started racing down the pitch, and my patience paid off. I was able to hem him in and squash him against the side. Without a glut of turns to play with, Skaven (and other high speed teams) don’t have the time to remaneuvre. 

I almost had him, but Skaven are slippery buggers, and one of the little so-and-sos broke free and ran it in on his turn 15. I was happy at least that he had no chance to score again, so, barring a riot, worst case scenario was a draw, which we were both very happy with.

I had two turns to score again for the win, and with both rerolls and a full team, I decided to go for it. My oppo set up shallow with the intention of making it hard for me to break through, and I set up very shallow to try and break through as much as I could. 

Then we rolled a blitz on the kickoff. Oops!!! Remember what I said about fatigue?

My oppo did 100% the right thing and ran his four players around by undefended flank, under the ball. He failed the catch, but the damage was done. I tried to get as much as I could around it, but I just couldn’t. A lucky Skaven thrower did a dodge, a 1d blitz onto the ball, and it bounced favourably, right into the hands of a Gutter Runner who ran it in on turn 16 for the win. Nuffle has a sense of humour, remember!

Result: Loss (and what a heartbreaking loss!) || 1-2, 1-1c 

Total NAF Ranking shift = -0.39

Aftermath 

I was too ill to party that night so went home and went to bed like a rockstar. I finished on 4/3/2, which, while it could have been better, was still respectable. Some of those draws should have been losses, some should have been wins, some of those losses should have been draws, and some of those wins probably should have been draws as well. So, basically, if it weren’t for all my results, my results would have been different. How profound!

I came 425th out of 2232, mostly thanks to a surprisingly buff Strength of Schedule of 98, meaning my opponents on average scored 11 points, like me. The squad went 4/1/4 and came 157th out of 372, with a SoS of 82, meaning our opponents again scored on average 9 points each. Fair play to them.

Huge thanks to all the many, many organisers. The event was a triumph, as far as I was concerned. Yes, there were the odd thing, like long lunch queues, or perhaps not always enough toilets, but there was free water, lots of space, plenty of downtime and, crucially, a metric ton of Blood Bowl.

Here’s to the next one!

-A/T

PS! Here’s a link to loads more photos from the event.

Us at the airport the following day. Neil told me the melon was going to go and live on a farm.

You can also read Twelfman’s write-up here.

Strap in, boys and girls! We’re talking about the World Cup.

00:00:00 – Intro

00:04:35 – BloodBlusters

00:42:00 – Day 0

00:52:00 – Day 1

02:14:30 – Day 2

03:43:10 – Day 3

05:31:08 – End

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ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.thrudball.com/

Episode One-Hundred-and-Fourteen: Alicante World Cup Report

Shirts and Stuff: https://teespring.com/en-GB/stores/abao

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.thrudball.com/

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

00:00:00 – World Cup Discussions

01:54:55 – End

Shirts and Stuff: https://teespring.com/en-GB/stores/abao

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.thrudball.com/

Episode One-Hundred-and-Thirteen: The Pain in Spain stays mostly on the Plane

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ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.thrudball.com/

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

00:00:00 – THRUD THRUD THRUD THRUD THRUD THRUD

02:36:40 – End

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ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.thrudball.com/

Episode One-Hundred-and-Twelve: THRUD THRUD THRUD THRUD THRUD THRUD THRUD THRUD THRUD THRUD THRUD THRUD

Shirts and Stuff: https://teespring.com/en-GB/stores/abao

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.thrudball.com/

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

What could go wrong?

00:00:00 – Does anyone read these?

01:56:44 – End

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ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.thrudball.com/

Episode One-Hundred-and-Eleven: The Only Way Is Ethics

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ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.thrudball.com/

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

Today we’re talking Gutter Bowl, the newest expansion released by GW. It’s not Street Bowl, don’t be absurd. Totally different thing. We’re also doing a bit on Thrud, because that is tradition by this point, before rounding off with an episode of Bloodblusters. Think you know your skills from LRB4/6? Then play along, why don’t ya…

What could go wrong?

00:00:00 – Intro/Street Bowl/Thrud/Bloodblusters/Inane Gibberish

01:49:12 – End

Shirts and Stuff: https://teespring.com/en-GB/stores/abao

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.thrudball.com/

Episode One-Hundred-and-Ten: Gone In The Gutter (Bowl)

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ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.thrudball.com/

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

Ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourselves for an episode like no other on our Blood Bowl podcast, as we unleash the whimsical wit of our AI companion right from the start! This very intro and title was crafted by our AI friend, who’s not only here to calculate dice rolls but to tickle your funny bone as well. So fasten your chinstraps and brace for a hilarious journey into the world of Blood Bowl!

Now that we’ve set the stage with our AI’s comedic touch, let’s dive into the heart-pounding action. In this episode, we’ll delve into the electrifying North American Blood Bowl Federation Championship (NAFC). From thrilling plays to unexpected upsets, we’ll dissect the highlights and surprises that make this tournament a must-watch event for fans and coaches alike.

But that’s not all! We’ll also tackle the fearsome return of Grashnak Blackhoof, the legendary star player whose colossal presence sends shivers down the spines of opposing teams. Prepare for bone-crushing tackles and awe-inspiring plays as we explore the strategies coaches are employing to either harness or counter this force of nature.

And speaking of rules, hold onto your playbooks as we unpack the latest FAQ updates. From clarifications on game mechanics to new insights into tactical strategies, we’ll keep you in the know and help you adapt to these exciting changes.

But wait, there’s more! Get ready to put your Blood Bowl knowledge to the test with our AI-powered BloodBlusters quiz. We’ve conjured up a series of mind-bending questions that will challenge even the savviest coaches out there. Will you emerge victorious or be stumped by our AI-generated brainteasers? There’s only one way to find out!

So, strap on your helmets, get your teams in formation, and join us as we embark on this AI-driven adventure into the NAFC, the resurgence of Grashnak Blackhoof, the latest rulebook updates, and a side-splitting round of BloodBlusters. It’s time to unleash the power of technology and laughter in the realm of Blood Bowl! Let the games begin!

What could go wrong?

00:00:00 – Intro/NAFC

00:52:20 – Grashnak Blackhoof

01:15:45 – FAQ

02:06:20 – AI-Powered Bloodblusters

02:31:12 – End

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ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.thrudball.com/

Episode One-Hundred-and-Nine: AI Laughs and Gridiron Thrills: Unleashing the NAFC, Grashnak Blackhoof, and BloodBlusters

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ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.thrudball.com/

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

We have a new host! Welcome: Landrover. We learn a bit about him, then we talk about Noodlebowl, NAFC… then have a brand new Bloodblusters from our brand new host…

What could go wrong?

00:00:00 – I̶̪̩̜͍̊̈͛͝ ̶̲̜̌̽̀̊a̸̛̭̳͈̦̝̩͗̄̊̑̾͒ṁ̷̧͓̯͕̤̦͍̖̦͚̝̃̂́͋͊͘ ̴̘̰̜͈͚̅̾͛̿̑͆̑̈͘͝͝t̸̡͙̪̘̞̤̭̦̞̅͐ͅḭ̷̯̯̍̽̌̄̓̍͜͠͝͝͠ͅm̷̡̡͓̠̟̫̭̠̺̩͇̯̹̈́̈́̉͠ë̵̠͉̲͈̹̪̤̤͖͈͎͓̔̿̌̽͗̈́̈́͑̈̆̀ͅ

0̵̡̛̰͙͔̤͇̞̙͕̜̈̓̔̀͂ͅ1̴̧͚̬͙͇̘̗͎͛̃͌̾̈́́͒̿̕͝ͅ:̶̢̛͍̬͕̎̋́̐̿͒̉́̎͠͝͝5̸̛̘̘̱̎̀̃͆͒͗́͝͝9̸̛͚͖̺͉̲͍̝̞̓͆̈͒͛̊̃̉̒̌͆͊̂͂͜:̷̨̨̠͚̫̮͖̠͍͈̠̇́̑̊͒͌̀̓͒̊͝ͅͅ5̵̨̩̲̮̮̐́͌0̴̛͍͙͎̙́͐̂̂̑̌ – H̷̢̧̨̡̳͈̦̫̦̗͔̻͌̄͛̑̚͜͠͝ę̷̰͇̘̹̹͙̝̙̑͒͠ ̶̨̭̘̹̤̭̉̂̂͜C̴̦̥͇̣̮͈̹̑̀̓̃̈́͋̒̀̈́͐̚o̵̧̫̰͕̝̞͍̱̫̪̻̩̲̹̤̎̾̈́̈́͗͐m̶̡̪̩̜̹͕̫͓̜̪͚̥̗̲̑͒̄̈́é̷̮̹͔̥͚̜̳̹̮̹͚̞̆̅ͅṡ̷͓͎͍̳̘̻̹̀͑̊̉͜͝

Shirts and Stuff: https://teespring.com/en-GB/stores/abao

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

https://www.thrudball.com/

Episode One-Hundred-and-Eight: Noodle Rovin’

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Withergrasp Doubledrool has a new model, and it’s purty… Also, we wax lyrical about a few tournaments past and future, then discuss the new GW Halfling play guide. Oh, and then we act like grown-ups for a game of BloodBlusters you wouldn’t be surprised to find in a playground…

00:00:00 – What is time, really?

0?:??:?? – End

Shirts and Stuff: https://teespring.com/en-GB/stores/abao

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

What could go wrong?

PS: let me know if the audio is weird again…

https://www.thrudball.com/

Episode One-Hundred-and-Seven: Reece Withergraspdoubledroolspoon

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

We are joined today by long time friend of the podcast: Landrover! He’s here to talk about Thrud and to correct us on a few, uh, misapprehensions we had about Norse when we did our episode on them, all those years ago… Ahem…

00:00:00 – Inane Gibberish

02:13:15 – End

Shirts and Stuff: https://teespring.com/en-GB/stores/abao

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

What could go wrong?

PS: let me know if the audio is weird again…

https://www.thrudball.com/

Episode One-Hundred-and-Six: Pre-Thrud Landrovin’

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It’s time for a super special tiny weeny episode featuring the one-and-only Nazgob. Listen to this episode for information on the ever-splendid Thrudball tournament, and/or click here for more information: https://www.thrudball.com/news/thrudball-2023-announcement

https://www.thrudball.com/

Thrudball Special Mini Episode

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

Update: Audio snotling has informed me all is well… 

It’s only Nightwing and Twelfman today, and they’re talking about Welsh Tournaments (well, one in particular) and the new models for Cindy Piewhistle and Puggy Baconbreath, as well as all sorts of other rubbish. Oh, and the Matched Play Guide (whatever that is).

00:00:00 – FAQ

01:39:52 – End

Shirts and Stuff: https://teespring.com/en-GB/stores/abao

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

What could go wrong?

PS: let me know if the audio is weird again…

https://www.thrudball.com/

Episode One-Hundred-and-Five: Welsh Cakes

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There’s too much Blood Bowl on this Blood Bowl podcast, you know what I mean? Let’s listen to Nazgob and Nightwing as they take a break from chucking a ball about The Grudge of Drong, a Warhammer Boxed Set Campaign Doohickey from 1997 about dwarves.

00:00:00 – Grudges! Drong! Dwarves!

01:34:00 – End

Shirts and Stuff: https://teespring.com/en-GB/stores/abao

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

What could go wrong?

https://www.thrudball.com/

ABAO Special: The Grudge of Drong

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

Note: Smudley the Audio Snotling has told us with confidence he’s fixed the audio…

It’s Christmas! Apparently!

We talk about the Christmas Chainsaw Massacre what happened recently. We also discuss the latest GW FAQ

Then, guess what… It’s only a Christmas themed Bloodblusters. Oh no? Oh yes.

00:00:00 – FAQ

00:56:00 – Christmas Chainsaw Massacre

01:47:30 – Seasonal Bloodblusters

02:14:20 – Secret Musical Bonus

02:16:20 – End

Shirts and Stuff: https://teespring.com/en-GB/stores/abao

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

What could go wrong?

https://www.thrudball.com/

Episode One-Hundred-and-Four: FAQnta Claus

PS: The CHRISTMAS charity album can be found here:

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

1. Let Twelfman ramble on for like two long, lonely hours, or
2. Invite a guest.

So, welcome Volkajo, AKA Timo! He is our special guest and has prepared a special BloodBlusters quiz… Oh me oh my oh goodness.

Also, go to the SKABB tournament, Pissed Up Terry Testimonial: Here!

00:00:00 – Eurobowl! Europen! Malta!

01:57:20 – Volkajo’s Bloodblusters

02:47:00 – End

Patreon Link: https://www.patreon.com/ABAOpodcast

Shirts and Stuff: https://teespring.com/en-GB/stores/abao

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

What could go wrong?

https://www.thrudball.com/

Episode One-Hundred-and-Three: Malta Eurobowl/Europen

PS: The charity album can be found here:

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

I was to be travelling as a part of one of the Europen teams representing Wales. What is the Europen? Nothing, what’s europenning with you? Wait…

https://eurobowl.eu/2022/

For those who can’t be bothered to click (and who can blame you? We are all but grains passing through life’s limited hourglass) the Europen is the sister tournament to Eurobowl. It’s limited to one-team-per-country; in fact, you don’t even need to be a country to compete. It’s open to any group of four people who want to play together on the big stage.

Wales was taking one Eurobowl team and three Europen teams. I was captain of the perhaps unimaginatively named Team Wales Europen team, and was bringing my good ol’ boney boys: Khemri (or Tomb Kings for you whippersnappers). They are without doubt my best team, and the team I enjoy the most, so why not?

(PS: All the rosters as well as some fascinating data analysis can be found here, courtesy of Sann0638 : https://public.tableau.com/app/profile/mike.sann0638.davies/viz/Eurobowl22/Introduction)

The roster I brought was my standard 1150 roster of Two Re-rolls Fifteen Players, which is sort of insane, I admit, but I still rate it. You need warm bodies on the pitch (well, not warm exactly) with Khemri, and this is the best way to guarantee that. Fifteen players gives you an awful lot to work with. You can set up 4 TGs in reserve on Turn 8 to stop any officious ref nonsense, you can foul to your heart’s content, and if you do happen to take an absolute drubbing, you can still set up with a full eleven players. More on that later… Two rerolls is risky, sure, but if you play carefully and calmly, it’s often enough. Uh, more on that later as well.

Skill wise, I went 4x Guard Guardians (because anything else is insane), 2x Block Throw-ras (mini-blitzers, plus very helpful on defence) and for my last skills, which could either be a single and a double, or two stacked singles, I took a Tackle/Mighty Blow Blitz-ra. I couldn’t resist.

My team was Dementor, who was taking High Elves with a thick spread of Dodge. High Elves were competitive in this ruleset, and were represented widely. Orcster was bringing Slann, with a Block Kroxigor and a scatter of other skills (but no Strip Ball! Madness? Genius? Read on, dear reader…) Lastly was Fallingdownjoe with his Dark Elves, which had a bunch of Dodge Blitzers and a pair of Witches, one with Block and one with Wrestle. A reliable, steadfast roster that has the ability to do very well if coached skilfully.

My journey involved a late-night drive to Oxford, followed by a 3.30am alarm (sob) and 4am pickup from Eynsham to Gatwick for an 8am flight, which was delayed for three hours while the plane was on the tarmac. The flight itself was around three hours as well, so that was a long time sat on that plane. Oh well! Joe and I had taken our Nintendo Switches and spent most of it playing Mario Kart. If Joe says he beat me consistently and often, just know he’s a damn liar, and I was robbed.

Me winning. Ignore any further races or results.

We arrived in Malta a little miffed, very hungry but still excited. The weather was beautiful, the scenery picturesque and the hotel was fantastic. The hotel was absolutely stuffed full of Blood Bowlers of all nationalities. At first, I was a little unsure about the fact you had to buy your hotel along with your tourney ticket, thinking it seemed a big unfair to those who didnt want to stay in the hotel. Then it hit me just how well this was being run. It was when I had just finished hanging out with all these BBers in the evening, had dinner together, had breakfast the next day, then got on the bus together to arrive at the venue together. We were being well looked after, and the sense of community that was being fostered was immense. I had nothing to worry about in terms of food or transport. And, every evening, without even having to leave the hotel, I could hang out with even more Blood Bowlers until I wanted to go to bed. The organisers really pulled it out of the bag, and I applaud them for it. Well done guys. Even the event itself was run incredibly smoothly. Lunch tickets were handed out during the games, along with score cards. While entering score cards on paper seems old fashioned, the reality of it was that from where I was standing, I saw no blips or errors or bottlenecks, just good Blood Bowly fun. Saying that, there was a redraw at one point, but that’s because a particular individual who shall not be named wrote a 1 that looked like a 2. I don’t know how either.

Back to the night before…. When it came to the food, I stacked my plate high. How high? An American I was hanging out with thought it was such a big plate that he bet me a drink that I couldn’t finish it all.

An American.

Anyway, one drink up, I went to bed buzzing to be representing Team Wales on the continent in the official Europen team.

Day One

After a big breakfast we all queued up to get on the coach that picked us up from the hotel and made our way to the venue. Now, on our team, we had a fifth secret member: Gethin, the Dragon. Whoever was performing the best had to wear him. As I was captain, that meant I wore him in game one (I never wore him again…)

The venue was spacey, bright, full of life, and tingling with potential Blood Bowl victories. I took my team aside and gave them a pep talk, as was my duty, where I threatened them with actual physical violence if they didn’t win. Well, not quite. I told them that I didn’t care if they won or lost. I said if you’re going to win, win well, and if you’re going to lose, lose well. I don’t want to be sitting opposite a Spanish, Greek or Hungarian coach in the bar one year and them to remember playing against Team Wales, and remembering them being a sore loser or boorish winner. I told them to have fun, do their best, and win or lose with grace. Then we got to it. The Eurobowl had begun.

Game One : Snotling ~ LordBertoCaos (NAF Rating 159.71) || Squad: Predatori MORE POW

LordBertoCaos (Gianluca) was part of an Italian team from Florence, which was being captained by British_Dog, a lovely chap who completely wrecked me 4-0 in the World Cup. So you could say I was itching for revenge a little…

Now, I’ll play anyone with anything when I’ve got my Khemri. Amazons? Fine. Undead? No issue. Dwarves, Chorfs, Dark Elves, Orcs, you bring it I’ll play it, and feel I have a good chance of winning. Bring a stunty team however, and then I get nervous. They’re too unpredictable, and can exploit the Khemri weakesses so easily; that is, disruption, infiltration, frustration and utter chaos.

Gianluca had brought a simple roster. Two Trolls, Two Bombers with Accurate, Snotlings up to 14, Three Bribes, Three Rerolls. Oh, and Morg’n’Thorg. Ulp. This roster terrified me. Bombers can absolutely wreck Khemri, who, with the new rules, might find it hard to throw a bomb back even if they miraculously catch it. Two of them with Accurate was a recipe for destruction. So I had to spread my players out, right? Easy. Except I couldn’t, because Morg would pick ’em off, one at a time, with his MB+2 ripping me a new blow-hole. So I had to clump up, right? Except the bombers… you get the idea.

I did two practice games for this, as we knew the rosters before hand, and in both of them I got utterly steamrolled. I went in thinking if I got a draw, I’d be damn lucky.

I elected to kick, which is not what I normally do, but what my training buddy (Joe) advised I do. The first turn was quite good, actually, The bomb missed, and Morg flubbed his block. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad?

Then I got utterly blasted for six turns on the bounce, as expected! Morg was a monster. Throughout the game, he killed two Tomb Guardians and KO’d another, plus killing my Tackle Blitz-Ra and one of my Throw-Ra’s, and the combo of him and the bombs KO’d or killed a few Skeletons. There was very little I could do except laugh through the pain. At one point, when it was clear I was simply not going to stop this bloody Snotling from scoring, I decided to spend all my energy on trying to kill Morg. I swarmed him and knocked him down with my Tackle/MB guy, and rolled a 9 on the armour. So close…

So I fouled him as well. Broke armour, and rolled an 8 on the injury. So, so close!

Anyway, I got totally smooshed and he scored on turn 8. In my opponent’s defence, I was removing Snotlings whenever I hit them, and he was playing exactly right. My two Guardians regenerated (thank goodness) and my KO’d TG came back, but the others stayed off. A failed bribe for a bomber didn’t really mean much, as he had two more bribes and still two Bombers.

I was setting up with 11 still, with 0 players in reserves. Thank goodness for my deep, deep bench… I had only one Block player left, a Throw-Ra, so this game was going to get interesting.

So I set up and crossed my fingers that I could score. Morg streamrollered towards my only ball-carrying potential positional, and I tried my best to fend him off while threatening the bombers. It was not easy. The play of the game has to be one of the next two turns. I marked Morg with three players to keep him busy, but at the start of Gianluco’s turn, a laser-guided bomb took all three of them down, leaving Morg completely unharmed, and a free line to my ball carrier richer. Uh oh. My opponent decided to run a snotling over to mark my BC and make the blitz 3d, but to my relief he snake-eyes’d the GFI. Thank goodness.

I then tried to make my ball safe, which was almost impossible, but was reasonably happy. Then a bomb flew in from literally one square away and took out the ball carrier, but the ball bounced onto a TG who caught it. I saw that I had one possible avenue of escape. In a display of elfy-heroism, my Tomb Guardian charged a mighty 6 squares away and handed the ball off to a skeleton, who made a break for it. A single Snotling was the only player in range, who marked him, and my Skeleton had just to make a 3d blitz to victory… thankfully it all paid off, and I equalised in turn 15. The Throw Team-Mate failed and I wiped sweat from my eyes and thanked my lucky stars for the draw.

The team did very well this round, and we walked away with a team win. Nice!

Result: 1-1 Draw, 2-6 Cas || Team Win

It was then lunch for the Europen guys, and I had some pasta. I’m not sure what else to say about it. It was tasty, I suppose, but I wish I had had more! But then I am a glutton, so…

Game Two : Slann ~ SickAsEggs (NAF Rating 143.5) || Squad : A MASSIVE MALTA UP

(The word ‘Malta’ in the name was originally the name of a type of male clucking bird, but they were asked to change it. Boo, hiss, etc)

Slann vs Khemri is a funny one. On one hand, you have the best team in the game for cracking cages (well, second best now, after vampires… but who knows what the future brings?) against the team that is the best at making cages (or at least the team that has precisely zero other option). What’s nice with my roster is I tend to have zero Dodge (sorry, Tackle!), Sure Hands (sorry, Strip Ball!) and more Guard than you can shake a bunch of sticks at, meaning it’s very hard for Slann to jump in and wreck face. It was against Sann0638 (Slann0638, surely?) in which a last-ditch 2d uphill block sacked the ball because I didn’t have Block on my Throw-Ras, which is now why I never leave home without it.

SickAsEggs (also called Alex, which was unhelpful as we had another Alex on the team already) had a well-rounded Slann-without-Kroxigor roster, as below. A wide range of skills, including Wrestle, Guard and Kick was a scary proposition.

I received on the first drive, and if I remember right got a touchback, despite Kick, which was helpful. The new changing weather means it becomes much more likely. I did the standard Khemri thing of grinding my way up the pitch, hitting frogs and howling bloody murder. I remember Alex making very few leaps, as high-level Slann coaches will do, saving their re-rolls until the one crucial turn. Unfortunately for Alex, the Khemri Pain Train had no brakes, and his crucial leaps flopped, so I ran it in on turn 8.

Alex had no re-rolls, so I cockily set up with the standard single-line defence, leaving my TGs off on the sidelines. I then watched in horror as he set up expertly for the One Turn Touchdown, only remembering too late that, yes, Slann can do it, and if you can get the pushes right, can leap right over a single stupid line of idiot skeletons. Oh balls.

He positioned his Guard well and I can’t remember exactly but might have gotten a High Kick, but flubbed the catch. The series of blocks he made were perfect and well-engineered, and before I knew it his Catcher was in scoring range. Oh dear. Thankfully, the changes in passing hit Slann particularly hard, and even their AG2+ Catchers are passing on a measly 4+, meaning he’d need a 6+, which he did not make. Whew.

At the start of the second drive, after (I think) a Riot, Alex stormed up the pitch for an early score, and I was unable to stop him. However, that did leave me a good five turns to score back, and the removals really started happening. I think I lost a Guardian but he regenerated, but frogmen don’t have that luxury… his Wrestle and Guard pieces were gone, along with a Catcher, meaning all Alex had left was optimistic 2D uphill blocks and hoping for the best. Nuffle heard his prayers but denied him.

Weirdly, there was another Khemri on Slann game in the round, with Orcster facing the formidable Volkajo. He and I are rivals in Khemri supremacy, right next to each other in the global ratings. I did hear some terrible rumours of his Khemri making dodges and random Blitz-Ra pickups, to which I tutted and shook my head. You’d never see me doing that. Nope.

The team managed another win! We were therefore on two wins, and very happy to be so.

Result: 2-1 win, 3-2 Cas || Team Win

Game Three : Orcs ~ spob (NAF Rating 158.86) || Squad: Team Waterbowl

Steven, or spob, was playing with Team Waterbowl. They were from the UK, just like we were, which meant of course that we had to win at any cost. He was playing with Orcs. Not Black Orcs, honest-to-goodness ordinary Orcs, what with their MV5 Bigguns and their, uh, well that’s about it. Spob had taken a strong roster, with 12 players including the Goblin or cheeky one-turn-touchdown potential. A smattering of Block on the Bigguns and Guard on the Blitzers, plus a Guard troll, meant I was in for a slog-fest. He also took a Tackle Blitzer, but the best part about playing Khemri is giving your opponent a smug look when they announce they have Tackle. Then you usually lose because you’re playing Khemri. Anyhoo…

I received again, and started punching in standard Khemri style. It got a little close and cramped, but that is exactly where I want my Khemri to be. What really helped is I gave the Troll a Skeleton to hang out with, and he did, dutifully failing to achieve much other than stare this Skeleton down. This meant he had no real counter to the Khemri Beef Bus, and was able to force my way down. I also crowd-surfed a Biggun, which died, which helped. Steven later reflected that he should have used his Troll more, freeing him up an d throwing him into the melee, and I agree. I had such a deep bench that I was happy to park a Skeleton on him for the whole game if needed, every drive.

In the second half, my armour and injury dice exploded, and Orcs crumpled like soggy Elves. I killed another Biggun and a Blitzer just on random blocks, followed by the Troll, and poor Steve had no chance. Normal teams might feel guilty about murdering an Orc team using nothing but dice, but, as Pratchett said, guilt is an emotion, and for emotions you need glands. Khemri have no glands.

The team won again! I had gone into the weekend hoping that we might walk away with a positive record, but to be ending day one on THREE wins was far more than I had dreamed of. Well done team, including Joe, who was on three individual wins. Wahey!

Result: 1-0 Win, 3-2 Cas || Team Win

So ended Day One. I was on 2/1/0, which I was dead happy with, and the team was on a mighty three wins. That meant we were getting dangerously close to the top tables, and there were some very good coaches milling about…

Anyway, we all did the sensible thing then and went back to the bar to drink heavily, eat enormously, and lounge by the pool. It’s a hard life, being a Blood Bowl player…

Day Two

Game Four : Chaos Renegades ~ Dark_Duke (NAF Rating 173.19) || Squad: TBBL

This roster made me laugh when my opponent explained it to me. Can you see what the problem is?

That’s right, a Juggernaut Troll. Despite Ignatio wanting a Juggernaut Minotaur like a sensible human being, he had accidentally submitted his roster incorrectly. Like a true hero, he took it on the chin and carried on regardless, proudly declaring that his Troll had Juggernaut, big deal, you got something to say about it? Thought not. His roster otherwise had a lot of prongs to this swiss army knife of a team. Pact is always an interesting matchup. Their big guys are better but less numerous, more flexible but less reliable.

I received again (which I’m very happy with) and decided that in order to win, I had to beat up his big dudes and out-strength him. It all started so well…

I ran out of rerolls by my turn four, which happens, but it still makes things interesting. They were both on blocks, one being a 3d and one being a 2d. The actual final reroll was eaten by a Tomb Guardian hitting the Wrestle Skaven as my first block of the turn.

Now.

Just like the rest of you fine people, I have been known to say things like “I’ve never seen so many 1’s”, or “That’s the most casualties I’ve ever seen in turn one.” But. And I’m not exaggerating here. What followed was the most amount of Double Skulls I have ever seen.

It started with that Skull/Skull reroll Skull/BD. Ignatio didn’t use Wrestle (correct play) and I had a turnover. He moved a few guys around, realised he couldn’t break though my wall of dudes, then ended turn. I thought about it, stood up my Tomb Guardian, threw another, three die this time, block, and Double Skull/BD. Ignatio did a bit more blocking, but still couldn’t break though. I didn’t even stand a guy up, but blocked with a Block piece this time. Guess what? Double skull. I actually starting taking photos this time. It started to get bad. I had an Orc and a Skaven next to my ball carrier. I tried to free him up, and guess what… Double skull. Oof.

You can watch it in real time over twitter…

Miraculously, Ignatio didn’t manage to sack the ball and score, thank Nuffle, so I changed my trousers and went into the second half 0-0 down. The second half was a real slogger, with my block and injury dice finally waking up and going to town. I KO’d the Troll and lost a Tomb Guardian in return. I killed the Skaven and kept stunning the Mino. Ignatio didn’t have a way through, and was rapidly losing players. It was soon apparent that he wasn’t going to be able to score, meaning I had to think. By this point, the other three games in our round had finished, one win, one draw, one loss apiece. That meant that whatever happened in this game, this drive, would determine the team’s outcome for the round. No pressure then…

I counted some squares and made a check of where the ball was. The Elf still had it, and I didn’t have anyone in range, not since one of my Throw-Ras was eaten by an Ogre. It was going to be a draw.

But wait. Hang on a second.

I had one player in range. My Throw-Ra. But he didn’t have enough movement to go back, get the ball, and run it in. It would require a Khemri coach’s worst nightmare.

Ball handling.

The ball was between the Mino and the Elf, in both of their TZs I had a few guys around it. What followed was a tense string of one die blocks, one of them using my last reroll, to free up TZs from the ball. Then, as my Blitz-Ra was now no longer able to help, since the 1dBs were not knock-downs, I had one option left. I dodged with a Skeleton, made the pickup, made two GFis, handed off to the Throw-Ra, who caught it, then ran in for 1-0 on turn 16. All with no rerolls.

My opponent took it very well (I think he had to, after my first half!), and we hugged it out. That meant, though, that the team had gone 2/1/1, so another team win. WTF!

Result: 1-0 Win, 1-1 Cas || Team Win

Also, next to me, Orcster’s Slann got obliterated by Morg. However, he stole the draw by making the big man trip up with Diving Tackle on turn 8. Who said Blitzers are useless?

Game Five : Shambling Undead ~ bourpif (NAF Rating 215.94) || Squad: COCORIPOW

After another lunch that was on the lower end of the impressive spectrum, we had finally made it to the top table, and on round five(!) We were up against a French team of players normally found on the Eurobowl team, and the other other Europen team on 4 wins. This was going to be tough…

I was facing their captain, Bourpif, and his undead. (I played against four captains this weekend, by the way. We have a way of magnetically attracting each other.) His roster was fairly typical high-level Undead:

Nothing outstandingly terrifying for me, but even an Undead team with few skills (comparatively) is still a tough prospect, and with a coach as good on paper as Bourpif, I knew this was probably going to be the hardest matchup of the tourney for me.

He won the kick and elected to receive (curse him!) and prepared to push his cage down. I spent one turn waiting for him, let him pick a lane, then on turn two, took a risk, and charged most of my players into his offence. My thinking is that if I let him pick and poke at my defence, he’ll find a weak spot, and use his superior mobility to run past me at the last moment. So I didn’t give him that option. I overwhelmed his team with huge amounts of Guard and strength, making him have to abandon any plans he had before and instead work to extricate himself from this situation. It all looked so good…

My main issue was that I burnt both of my re-rolls in a single turn, turn two. The first was a Double Skull, which I just couldn’t afford. Then I did a block with a TG – only two dice, but it would have shut off an entire string of blocks – and that was also a Skull/BD. I thought about that one for a long time, but elected to re-roll. Ultimately, a re-roll here could make the difference between stopping the drive and losing my team. It paid off, and Simon had to really take a risk and break through with a Ghoul, with only a Ghoul and a Wight to help the ball carrier. He sideline caged, and I planned to swamp him, and started off by and charged him with my Tackle/MB Blitz-Ta, but Double Skulled again… drat! Simon was able to run it in without any problem then, but I did manage to kill a Ghoul and a Wight for my troubles.

On my drive, I said to myself that I’d go for the draw unless I killed every Ghoul, which I didn’t do… So I played for the draw. My armour dice caught fire and I started ripping the Undead team apart. It was not hard to grind down when I had such a healthy player advantage. There was one turn where it could have gone wrong, and on turn 16 Simon really pulled out an amazing turn in which all of my players ended up being marked, including the ball carrier, but I was able to free him up and score on turn 16. All in all, a really good match that I was happy to draw.

The team suffered our first defeat! We had a record of 0/2/2. Special shout out to Orcster for losing a game due to a werewolf picking up on a 6, and also to Dementor for snatching a fantastic draw from the jaws of certain defeat.

Result 1-1 Draw, 2-3 Cas || Team Loss

Game Six : Humans ~ dreamscreator (NAF Rating 186.49) || Team Spain

The final round…. We were on 4/0/1. The French team who beat up were on 5/0/0, so our dreams of 1st place were rapidly dwindling. However, we did way better than I could have hoped, so I was chuffed as nuts. All I wanted now was a good, fun game to end my Europen on.

I couldn’t have chosen a better opponent to play my last game against. Hugo is a very dear friend of mine. In fact, we were in the same team in the 2019 World Cup. Since he had left Blighty to head back to Spain, I haven’t seen him anywhere near as much as I would like. So to finish such an event with a match against such an old friend warmed my heart.

Unfortunately, he’s also a damn good player. Drat!

I am used to playing versus his Orcs, so to see him switch sides and join the Human side surprised me. He had as much Guard as I did! Now, that simply won’t do…

He elected to kick to me (hooray!) and I won a Prayer to Nuffle. A random Skeleton got the Stab skill for the whole game (cool, I guess!), and he spent the whole game trying and failing to stab people. He did get one good stab in, but nothing really happened from it. It was just funny. There was one turn where Hugo had to make a block that would leave his Ogre in contact with Stabby Jim, and it made him nervous… mwehehehe.

Anyway, I ground up the pitch in true Khemri style. My overwhelming strength advantage was solidified when I fouled his Ogre off the pitch. It was quite funny. I killed a random Lineman, and Hugo used his Apo to keep him in reserves, then I immediately knocked his Ogre down and fouled it into the KO box. I’m nice like that, especially to my old friends.

Despite his best attempts, I was able to walk it in on turn 8. Now, having learned from the Slann game in round two, I set up to defend against the OTTD as best as I could.I also realised Hugo had saved two re-rolls just for this turn. Thankfully, his Ogre was still KO’d, so he couldn’t throw a Halfling, but there are more than one ways to OTTD with Humans…

I watched with mounting terror as he made every block with mechanical accuracy, pushing his Catcher with expert manoeuvring into scoring range. Then I watched the Thrower pick it up, jog over to the catcher… who failed the catch, even with the reroll. Whew!!!

The Ogre woke up, so both teams were back to full strength for the second half. I was really lucky in that I had suffered precisely zero removals against me, and this was a trend that continued. Hugo could not catch a break. However, he was able to score in two turns, and with a Riot, that meant the pressure was piling on for me to turn this draw into a win.

I tried to get through all these pesky Humans, but couldn’t quite get the result I was hoping for. Hugo then started to play more risky, as he also wanted the win. He threw lots of 1dBs, whuch started off failing, then starting working. He started dodging, which starting off working, then started failing… It was tense. After a stupid 2dB that I shouldn’t have made failed, Hugo capitalised and managed to get a 1db on my Ball Carrier, knocking him down. The ball bounced into the waiting arms of a Human Blitzer. Oh no!

I had to think. After about 5 minutes of the hamster running, I saw a way out… but it was janky. Long story short, it paid off, and the ball was down again, and in my hands. But too much time had been wasted, and the only chance I had of scoring was about six 5+ dodges in a row, and Nuffle had already blessed me with an unlikely win today, so the game ended in a draw that I think we were both happy with. We ended up swapping shirts and I left with a big, stupid smile on my face.

The team managed to get another win! That meant we were on 5/0/1, and in with a real chance of runner up…

Result: 1-1 Draw, 3-0 Cas || Team Win

Sadly, it was not to be. We came joint 2nd on team points, but lost out on 2nd on tiebreakers. Team Waterbowl came second in the end, and the French Team who beat up won with 6/0/0. We were gutted to miss out second, but still elated that we did so well. Our SoS was the higest of the tournament, so we’d had a real tough time getting there, but we held our own and did Wales proud.

Full results both Eurobowl and Europen, Group and Individual, can be found here: http://eurobowl.eu/2022/default.asp?p=37. Congratulations to the Danes for winning the Eurobowl, and to the French for winning the Europen.

Also, I asked Janninu if we could all sing Happy Birthday to Quackerz (Jack), one of the guys on one of the other Welsh teams, and Orcster’s son – who turned 19 that day. So we did, of course… hehehe.

Special shout out to Joe who came 10th overall with a sterling 4/1/1 record. I myself went 3/3/0, and came 20th.

I was delighted to have managed to pass through the event without losing a game, and to have met so many new friends. My Khemri ranking went up 10.46pts to 213.66, putting me the 4th highest rated Khemri player in, er, the world. Bloody hell!!

In summary, what an event. It was run so amazingly well by the admin team. They should be so, so proud of what they have done. Well done guys.

Here’s a video the organisers took which I recommend you check out, for it includes both the awards ceremony and us all singing happy birthday to Quackerz: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2JCLe7nikM

Here’s to the next one!

Cymru am byth!

Also, check out https://www.docminiature.co.uk/. We’ll be hosting a giveaway of some of their stuff in the coming weeks, but don’t let that stop you from having a nosey at their fine wares.

Also also, go have a look at the West Middenland Open, run by a mate of ours: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5963964380290012/

00:00:00 – Magic the Gathering Warhammer Blood Bowl Crossover Discussion

00:41:22 – Amazon Discussion

02:01:00 – End

Patreon Link: https://www.patreon.com/ABAOpodcast

Shirts and Stuff: https://teespring.com/en-GB/stores/abao

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

What could go wrong?

https://www.thrudball.com/

Episode One-Hundred-and-Two: Zon and On, Anon

PS: The charity album can be found here:

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

Amazons are all new and stuff! They’ve redone them, and are they more interesting? Yes! Are they better? Debateable! Why not have a listen and hear what is sure to be a riveting and amenable diversion?

00:00:00 – Amazon COBBBL Bloodbath Discussion

01:34:00 – End

Patreon Link: https://www.patreon.com/ABAOpodcast

Shirts and Stuff: https://teespring.com/en-GB/stores/abao

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

What could go wrong?

https://www.thrudball.com/

Episode One-Hundred-and-One: COBBBL’d Together

PS: The charity album can be found here:

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

We welcome back Merrick and HungDonkeyman into this episde to talk about life, the universe and craneflies. There’s Bloodblusters, there’s quizzes, there’s all sorts of shenanigans.

Oh! Also, we’re on YouTube now! We recorded this one with cameras and everything, so you can watch our gurning ugly mugs while we talk. You can find it on this link here: https://youtu.be/O-O6g3hbkL8

00:00:00 – So much stuff!

01:16:26 – Bloodblusters

01:48:06ish – End

Patreon Link: https://www.patreon.com/ABAOpodcast

Shirts and Stuff: https://teespring.com/en-GB/stores/abao

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

What could go wrong?

https://www.thrudball.com/

Episode One-Hundred: Reunion!

PS: The charity album can be found here:

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

It’s almost here! The big one! To get you all ready for excitement, we’re talking Thrud and various other tournaments. Oh, and all the cool stuff we have planned for next episode… Speaking of which:

We’re giving away an orc team! (Courtesy of Printed Players, go check them out and use our special code (ABAO10) https://www.etsy.com/shop/PrintedPlayers) 

How do you win it? Easy. Tell us your favourite moment of the podcast from the last 100 episodes. We will judge it and decide on air. Who is ‘we’? I’m glad you asked.

Next episode we’re bringing back every previous host to talk shit about Blood Bowl! Merrick, Hung, Knightly! We’ll all be here, and it’s gonna be nuts.

We’re also going to be doing some dice soon. Watch this space…

00:00:00 – So much stuff!

02:08:50ish – End

Patreon Link: https://www.patreon.com/ABAOpodcast

Shirts and Stuff: https://teespring.com/en-GB/stores/abao

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

What could go wrong?

https://www.thrudball.com/

Episode Ninety-Nine: Milestone Approaching!

PS: The charity album can be found here:

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

00:00:00 – NAFC

02:10:30ish – End

Patreon Link: https://www.patreon.com/ABAOpodcast

Shirts and Stuff: https://teespring.com/en-GB/stores/abao

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

What could go wrong?

https://www.thrudball.com/

Episode Ninety-Eight: NAFC 2022

PS: The charity album can be found here:

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

00:00:00 – Norse!

What could go wrong?

Episode Norse!

PS: The charity album can be found here:

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

00:00:00 – UKTC

01:01:01 – NAFC

01:27:30ish – End

Patreon Link: https://www.patreon.com/ABAOpodcast

Shirts and Stuff: https://teespring.com/en-GB/stores/abao

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

What could go wrong?

https://www.thrudball.com/

Episode Ninety-Six: I C The C, The NAFC

PS: The charity album can be found here:

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

I always love team tournaments. The wins feel better and the losses don’t feel as bad. Flying the flag for team BUBBA (Bristol) was myself, Rubick, Smurf and a vacant space occupied by our fourth member who unluckily got covid a few days before and wisely elected to stay at home. 

The way they handled this at UKTC was each team that had a missing player gave away a free win each round, so we were going into each game already rocking a loss. This was going to make doing well as a team rather difficult!

Rubick was taking High Elves with a reliable roster comprising of three catchers with a smattering of skills, a dodge thrower and a few other bits and pieces. Very sensible.

Smurf was taking Halfings. Now, Flings already were hobbled at UKTC because there were no stars permitted. What do you do with a sackful of cash and nothing to spend it on? Well, you take a roster with a little something different… Smurf took two Frenzy trees (one with +MA), the Chef, a leader Hefty and six (SIX!) rostered rerolls, meaning there was the potential to start a drive with ten rerolls! Insanity!

I’ve played his Frenzy treemen before, and I can tell you, they have the potential to be nasty. Especially with the ability to throw almost limitless rerolls at them, this Fling team could potentially do something spectacular.

As for myself, I was taking Tomb Kings (or Khemri, depending on how old you are.) I’m taking them for the Eurobowl, so I need more practice. My NAF ranking going into Game One was 195.98, and so my goal I set for myself was to try to get above 200 ranking with them. If I could manage it, I’d be happy as a skeleton in sand. 

I elected to ignore the double skill available, (not for the first and almost certainly not the last time,) and went for a very boring but reliable set of skills: 4x Guard on the Guardians, Block on the Throw-Ras and Tackle/Mighty Blow on the Blitz-Ras. I considered a Sneaky Git Skeleton, but as I had such a deep bench I didn’t bother. My standard TK roster at 1100 is 14 men and two rerolls, so with the extra 50k at UKTC, what did I do? That’s right, bought another Skeleton. You can never have too many!  The thing to remember is you never want to set up on a LOS on defence with anything other than three Skeletons, otherwise you’re asking for trouble, so this is the best way to guarantee* that.

We drove up with Glowworm on the Friday, stopping at Bugmans in Warhammer World for lunch and to gawp at the prices of forge world miniatures (£40 for a Scylla!?) We rocked up to York at around 3pm, which gave us time to chill, unwind, then explore the city, and be very sensible and avoid drinking so we were fully prepped for the next day’s promise of intense, competitive gaming. Ha.

The venue was a 30-ish minute walk from the hotel we were sharing with the swarm of Team Chaos coaches, so after a slap-up breakfast on Saturday morning, with the sun shining down on us, to the venue we all went…

—

Game One: Dwarfs ~ Coach: the_joeker (NAF Rating 185.59)

A lot of people (quite understandably) groan when their opponent cheerfully declares they’re using Dwarfs. I’m more than happy to play the beardy buggers, especially when I’m using my Tomb Kings. They’re phenomenal at shutting Dwarves down. 

My opponent (Joe) was using a smattering of Guard and one each of Block/Wrestle Runners. He might have had a Mighty Blow, I can’t remember.

I won the kickoff and elected to receive, as I always do with Khemri. (The logic being it’s much harder to perform a decent offensive drive with less than four Guardians, so at least this guarantees a drive that starts that way.) I was skipping with delight when I KO’d a Longbeard on the first block of the game, only to be brought down to earth by Joe performing what he called a Power Apo, i.e. immediately changing that KO into a Stun. Rackum-frackum…

It was all going so well until it wasn’t. Tomb Kings started leaving the pitch at a rate of knots. They were making their Regen rolls, which was handy, but the chaps left on the pitch were in a pickle. I wasn’t making enough progress and my drive sort of fell to bits after losing three players in one turn and trying the practically-never-works Khemri Potato Play. This happens with Khemri sometimes. They run out of steam  (or players) and end up pootling around picking their nose-holes. Thankfully, however, I didn’t completely flub up and allow Joe to score on my drive, so the first half ended 0-0. 

I remember not using any rerolls on this drive, so perhaps I should have played more risky and pushed for a score… who knows. The thing with my roster is that it’s very RR light (only bringing two, remember) so I pretty much save them for game-ending Double Skulls or failed Dodge/GFIs to score, if possible.

Second half begins and we both have full teams. Well, what did you expect? Joe has 12 man dwarves with an Apo and I brought 15 players. His drive stalled in a similar way to mine. A few key armour breaks by my boney boys stopped his score in the same way he stopped mine. By the end of the match, it was a tightly-fought gritty 0-0 draw that I think both of us were happy with. I suffered five casualties in this game and inflicted one, which against dwarves sounds about right! We finished with only a few minutes to spare. That was a trend that was not going to end soon.

Result: Draw || 0-0, 1-5c 

Game Two: Khorne ~ Coach: Cornish (Khornish, shurely? NAF Rating 150)

I’ve played Glowworm’s Oft-Declared Object-Of-Earthly-Affection, Cornish (Chris) a number of times now (six, including this one) and he’s always a delight to play against. My particular highlight in our history was being 2-0 down with my Skaven versus his Wood Elves only to end up stealing the win by going 3-2. Don’t worry, he got his own back by beating me 4-0 with Woodies against my Nurgle. But anyway…

Chris was playing Khorne, that is the new Khorne, them with the S4 Chaos Warriors that come with Frenzy as standard (me likey!). He’d given three of them Block and one of them Guard, as well as Block on the big guy, then Sure Hands to a Khorngor. 

Like Dwarves, Khorne (and Chaos, and similar teams) can really struggle to fight through Khemri when they get going. I elected to receive again for the same reasons as above. People often lament the initial pickup as the worst part of the Khemri drive, but it’s not as bad as all that. With Sure Hands you’re still picking it up 75% of the time… usually. This game, and the previous one in fact, were the first games I’ve had in a long time where it literally takes three turns to get the ball in hand. By that time, I had some Khorngors threatening my flank and my solid blob of Strength was all tied up slapping some Khorne Warriors about, so I was in danger of getting separated. Luckily for me, it all came together at the last minute and I scraped together a desperate surge forward with my faster positionals. The drive ended up with most of the Khorne team and a few skeletons/Guardians all tying each other up, with around 5 players doing all the exciting stuff. The very last turn revolved around whether a Warrior was going to be able to make a 4+ dodge (with a RR) to get a 2D block on the ball carrier… but he tripped and I ran it in. Lucky me for sure.

In the second half the Bloodmonster or whatever the big guy is called finally woke up and started removing key players on my side, including a Guardian. However, the rest of Chris’s team couldn’t make enough of a spearhead through my boney boys and Chris was forced against the sidelines with a Tomb Guardian breathing down his neck. It was either Dodge away (4+/3+ with a RR) or make a -2D (with Frenzy) and then Dodge away. A hard choice. It came down, once again, to a Dodge with a reroll to walk it in… and once again, his player tripped up. Crushing! I was able to protect the ball long enough to steal the victory. 

Result: Win || 1-0, 4-4c 

Game Three:  Skaven ~ Coach: Mr_Zay (NAF Rating 150)

Finally, a team with lower than AV9! I’d not met Mr_Zay (Jose) before, so it was a good opportunity to play against someone new. That’s part of the fun of these larger events. 

His Skaven team had a Block Rogre, three GRs (Block on one, something else on the other, one with nothing), a Guard Blitzer (and a Tackle, but who cares?) and a Thrower, then Linerats up to 13.

I lost the kickoff here, so had to kick instead (boo). The defence with Khemri is, in my opinion, the much harder part, especially against a fast, agile team. You have to make sure you’re spread out wide enough to discourage an easy score down one flank, but not so much that you’re spread too thinly to mount a proper defence.

I would typically keep around four players in the backfield (both throwers, both blitzers) and use the Skeletons and Tomb Guardians (spread out enough, but not too much) to harass the line. A blitzer would run forward and hit a rat or two, then retreat again. Got a few nice removals, but Jose kept the pressure on…

He was unafraid to play risky with his Skaven (dodging with the AG3+ pieces), which is the right way to play Skaven in many situations, like the one we were in. It made it very hard to stop him. I just had to play calm and collected and wait for something to fail… 

I managed at one point to hit the Thrower and knock him down (and that wasn’t easy), but my dastardly luck meant the ball scattered into the hands of a Gutter Runner. Drat!

When the time came for him to score, he needed a blitz with the ball-carrying Gutter, but could only engineer a one dice, and it was a Skull/Skull. With that, the drive was stopped, and I was going into the second half two guys up and no Skaven score on the cards. I counted my lucky stars.

The second drive began and I was feeling confident. Pride comes before the fall… I set up one of my TGs on the LoS (Why! It’s basically my one rule to not do that!) and the rest in a wide line one square from the centre to protect against blitzes. The ball lands around the middle and I stand a guy next to it. I then threw a few blocks on the LoS (perhaps a little nervous that the pickup was going to flub, so delayed it for as long as possible.) Of course, one of these blocks is a Skull/Both Down, and I look at my side of the field and feel confident enough to let it slip. The failed block even removes a Linerat, so I’m feeling good. Then, Jose starts counting squares and before I could blink his Rogre has punched a gap and there are rats all over the ball. Drat and double drat! Curse my overconfidence!

The game descends into a tense, scrappy back-and-forth where I’m trying desperately to shift these gorram rats and secure the ball, while Jose throws everything he has at me to try and get it. We’re both out of rerolls before you know it. Eventually, rats start leaving the pitch, but I’m really running low on time… I have to make a half-potato involving sending the Throw-Ra up to within scoring range, and the TG I send to babysit him fails his GFI to protect him. With another Dodge from a Blitzer (bloody rats!), Jose pops the ball loose and stuns the Throw-Ra, meaning there’s no way for me to score. Thankfully, Jose can’t either, so the game ends with another 0-0 draw. We ran right to the end of the time (again!), so I was ready for a pint by the end of the day!

Result: Draw || 0-0, 4-1c 

Day one ends with me on 1/2/0, which isn’t bad, but isn’t outstanding either. The team has three losses, unsurprisingly, as we’re giving way a bye each round, so need bloody good results to get anything other than a loss. We check the draw for the next day, and we’re starting on the third table from bottom… ouch!

PS: we went to the Indian restaurant Masala Craft Street Food on Saturday night and it was bloody lovely. Lots of great vegan options. I had a Chana Dal, rice and a hyuge Naan bread. Would recommend.

Game Four:  Orcs ~ Coach: TurtleHead (NAF Rating 123.37)

I was drawn against a young chap (Thomas) playing Orcs. I asked if he preferred Thomas or Tom, he said whichever, so I called him Tim. He wasn’t 100% familiar with Khemri, so I taught him a lesson that he won’t forget. (Nyuk nyuk nyuk!) Naw, I wasn’t that mean. So I fouled his troll off the pitch in turn two and killed a Blitzer and Black Orc on random blocks, so what… so I surfed a few players, no big deal… ahem.

We spend about ten minutes at the start of the game in this sequence: roll a cheering fans kickoff event, roll off the fans, figure out who won the prayer to nuffle, roll prayer to nuffle, get the one that gives a random player -1mv, roll the random player, find some way of marking him out… only for him to be instantly killed on the first Block of the game. Wahoo! Fun!

I did feel for the kid a few times… he knew what he was doing in the broad sense, but clearly had no idea how to overpower the Khemri guard-spam strategy that I love so much.

I scored on turn 8, and Thomas set up for the goblin-throwing play, which flubbed when his troll got hungry. (Note, if the troll fails this roll, then you get the 2+ ‘wriggle free’ roll, and you wish to reroll that, do you have to roll loner?)

As we set up for the second half, the goblin-throwing is valiantly re-attempted a few more times, but to no avail, and I am able to swipe up the ball and storm in for another TD.

Result: Win || 2-0, 2-3c 

Game Five:  Orcs again ~ Coach: Blackorcdown (NAF Rating 180.66)

More orcs, this time against a chap who makes dice called Blackorcdown (Chris.) This is a man who knows what he likes. Eight tournaments attended and one team used: Orcs. This was going to be a good fight!

He had a Block troll, a few guard Blitzers and and Bigguns, and Block on a few others, as well as a Keg and a lineman with Dauntless. He told me this was because this Lineorc had one job: stand next to big guys and cause a nuisance. If you didn’t knock him down, he’d knock you down. To be fair to him, it worked once or twice, and was rather effective!

He knew how much my Khemri were going to ruin his day if he didn’t get in and stop them, so he elected to receive. The fight was close, brutal and sloggy. A few times Chris had to make the difficult decision to Dodge many of his players to better positions, and similar to Jose, it kept working, making my life very difficult! It was intense, with both of us taking quite considerable time in trying to figure out how to punch our way free of this mess, but ultimately I stopped him scoring on his drive.

Roll into the second half and it’s just as tight as the first half. All of our players were spread out across the pitch, with, once again, my faster players being the only ones free to progress. This time they were being hunted by Blitzers and Linemen… It all came down to one turn where I had no rerolls and precisely one path through: I needed to Blitz the Ball Carrier past a Blitzer and into victory, exactly 6 squares away. I needed not to roll a Push or a Both Down… Thankfully it worked, and I squeaked in a 1-0 win.

Result: Win || 1-0, 1-0c 

Game Six:  Guess what! More Orcs. Black Orcs, at least. ~ Coach: Slimjono (NAF Rating 151.54)

More orcs! This time, it’s Black Orcs. Slimjono (Jonny) was a good coach who knew how to control his Orcs. He had a smattering of Guard and Block on his orcs, with Block on the troll.

The poor guy couldn’t catch a break. In a bizarre twist of fate, he failed to pick the ball up for two turns on the bounce, meaning that I had time to sweep around the side, knock the goblin down and secure the ball for myself (Bizarro land or what!?) What followed was two scary turns of goblin uphill blitzing, I scored on turn four, and despite Jonny’s valiant attempts he wasn’t able to equalise. 

This meant that all I had to do was protect the ball and stay still and the win would be mine. Easy, right? About that…

Despite a blitz from Jonny knocking down a TG, I got the ball right away and settled into a big, fat cage. The LoS was full of Skeletons being fed to the Blorc line, but I had all my positionals protecting the ball. However, Jonny threw caution to the wind and threw everything he had at that cage, and by turn three had used up all three of his rerolls on uphill blitzes on the ball carrier; two of them -2D and one -3D! None of them worked, but crucially every corner of my cage was getting swamped with Blorcs and Goblins and one big, mean Troll. 

I wasted my rerolls on trying to knock these guys back, and by turn four I was in dire straits. My whole cage was full of goblins with orcs on every corner. I needed a good turn of blocking or I was going to be torn apart. Unfortunately, I couldn’t remove any goblins or knock any orcs down. All my blocks were either 1D with Block or 2D without, and with no rerolls, I didn’t know what to do! In hindsight, I should have just taken a bunch of those 2Ds and hoped for the best, but instead I was temporarily possessed by some insane spirit (perhaps it was all the time spent with Glowworm) and decided instead to foul a goblin with my tackle Blitz-Ra. Maybe it was the fact it was game six and I thought I was running out of options. We had a bribe from the kickoff, and I still had three assists (thanks Guard!).  I kept thinking this stupid goblin was going to knock my ball down for sure, despite Jonny having no rerolls. Of course, I broke armour, double 3, failed the bribe and the Argue the Call and my blitzer got sent off. Whoops. 

After that, Jonny played a blinder of a turn in which he orchestrated a chain-push I’d missed and got 2D on the ball carrier. He had a BD and a push, but remembered he had Brawler, and rerolled that BD into a Pow. Uh oh!

Then a goblin stole the ball and ran free, then I dodged a Throw Ra free to blitz it back, then another goblin swiped it up and ran, then a Tomb Guardian (freed by a succession of block-less blocks) charged 6 squares over to free it again, then another goblin swiped it up again to hand off and run it in on turn 14 for the draw. It was a blinder of a game that I won’t forget in a hurry. I could complain about dice, but it’s a dice game, and I gave as good as I got in many ways. If Khemri can turn you over and score on turn four, dice must have been involved…

Also, curses! My one and only TD conceded this game! Argh! Oh well… Sob.

Also, the team managed two wins and a draw today, by some miracle. Go us(?!)

Result: Draw || 1-1, 2-3c 

Overall, my result was 3/3/0, which I’m happy with, all things concerned. A few of those games perhaps should have been wins, but then at least one of my wins should have been a draw, so it’s horses for courses. I finished 33rd out of around 340, and my NAF ranking increased to 204.32. I was chuffed to bits that I achieved my one main goal.

The tournament itself was just brilliant. York is a wonderful city with a lot to see and buckets of culture. As for the venue, there was loads of space to wander around and enjoy the sunshine (or the snow, depending on which day it was). The lunch was good, the facilities decent, and the location was great. I get tormented by a goose though. (See below video).

https://youtube.com/shorts/TxqzFmtP3fI?feature=share

It was fantastic to see so many familiar and new faces after so long away, and I can’t wait for the next one. Hopefully it’ll remain in April, or, if it does move back to January, maybe I can convince my wife to move her birthday, because I definitely want to go again next year. I mean honestly, having your birthday on the same day every year is a bit unreasonable, right? Right?

-A/T

Printed Players: https://www.printedplayers.com/

Super Duper Special Loyal Listener Discount Code: ABAO10

00:00:00 – Start, then Norse, UKTC. Also, Spirit Pokémon (don’t ask)

00:27:44 – Printed Players interview

01:11:00ish – Bloodblusters

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ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

What could go wrong?

https://www.thrudball.com/

Episode Ninety-Five: Printer is Coming

PS: The charity album can be found here:

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

00:00:00 – Naz talks about being filthy Wood Elves at the School of Hard Blox Tournament

00:55:55 – We all go a little mad from talking about Stand Firm

01:00:00ish – Caerdydd Cup (Cardiff Cup) round-up

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ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

What could go wrong?

https://www.thrudball.com/

Episode Ninety-Four: Tourn(ament)-on-the-Cob

PS: The charity album can be found here:

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

Then, we asked you, our loyal swarm of nurglings, for any questions you want us to answer on air, so we did. I think we managed to get to every one, so if you asked a question, you shall receive an answer. 

ps! Twelfman’s book is now out. You can buy it! Or, not. Whatever you want. Look, forget I mentioned it okay? Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

00:00:00 – Caerdydd Cup Prescussion

00:28:30 – Q&A from the loyal listeners

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https://www.thrudball.com/

Episode Ninety-Three: Caerdydd’n’Questions

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https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

ps! Twelfman’s only gone an released his book. Find it here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advocatus-R-Turner-ebook/dp/B09L31CMKQ/

00:00:00 – Dungeonbowl or something I dunno I wasn’t there

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Episode Ninety-Two: Le Bol de Dunjon

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00:00:00 – Nazgob Goes Slightly Mad Talking About Goblins

00:35:36 – Tournament Etiquette

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Episode Ninety-One: Tournament Etiquette

PS: The charity album can be found here!

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

We’ve also got an interesting discussion about the latest FAQ from Gee Dubs. Has it made things clearer? Yes and no! Find out more…

00:00:00 – Squad Chaos Christmas Cup

01:15:39 – FAQ number 2

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Episode Ninety: FAQ Up Your Troubles

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We also went to Bubba Bowl VIII and took freebooters like cheating, dirty rascals. Speaking of cheating…

00:00:00 – Khorne!

01:25:45 – Bubba Bowl VIII!

Bonus! Which Chuck Tingle book should Alex buy and read? Vote here! http://www.rkursem.com/poll/view.php?id=98bf9bf166bd306b2

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https://www.thrudball.com/

Episode Eighty-Nine: The Khorne Identity

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https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

00:00:00 – Matt talks Tourneys

01:00:00ish – Everyone else talks Tourneys

Bonus! Which Chuck Tingle book should Alex buy and read? Vote here! http://www.rkursem.com/poll/view.php?id=98bf9bf166bd306b2

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What could go wrong?

https://www.thrudball.com/

Episode Eighty-Eight: Wobble Wobble

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https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

00:00:00 – Thrudscussion – it goes on like this for the whole episode

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What could go wrong?

https://www.thrudball.com/

Episode Eighty-Seven: Thrud-Muffin

PS: The charity album can be found here!

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

00:00:00 – Post BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBQ

01:04:00 – Thrud Nonsense

01:35:00 – Bloodblusters

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Episode Eighty-Six: Pre-Thrud and BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBQ

PS: The charity album can be found here!

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

…No, we didn’t. What did you think? Have you seen us?

00:00:00 – We talk about tournaments. I don’t know, what do you want from me?

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Episode Eighty-Five: Tournamental Cabbage

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00:00:00 – I wonder if anyone ever notices these?

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Episode Eighty-Four: FAQ You To You Too

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https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

00:00:00 – Life, eh? What even is life?

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What could go wrong?

Episode Eighty-Three: Death Zone Two 2 – Electric Boogaloo

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00:00:00 – It’s only a short one, do you need a summary?

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Episode Eighty-Two: In The Zone. The Death Zone

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https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

00:00:00 – Thrudball discussion with Thor87

00:39:00 – Thrudblusters

01:09:00 – End

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What could go wrong?

Episode Eighty-One: Thrudprescussion

PS: The charity album can be found here!

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

Listen to the podcast to hear them… and to find out the winner!

00:00:00 – Book Club

00:45:00 – THRUD THRUD THRUD

01:12:50 – Short Stories

02:00:00 – Bloodblusters

02:26:00 – End

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What could go wrong?

Episode Eighty: Short Story Competition

PS: The charity album can be found here!

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

Announcing! The ABAO Blood Bowl Short Story Competition! Write a Blood Bowl themed short story of no more than 500 words and submit it here! Entry Form

We will judge the best and read it on air. Good luck!

00:00:00 – Rambley nonsense.

Also, check out Mike Davies guide on specific changes what veteran BB players should read for the new edition: https://t.co/Og7Jg3SEhQ?amp=1

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What could go wrong?

Episode Seventy-Nine: 2021 At Last

PS: The charity album can be found here!

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

We’d had such a blast that we wanted to continue the trend. So, may we present: Jingle Skulls, the festive follow-up album. It’s got nine songs of christmas-y Blood Bowl-y fun, and can be yours for a pittance. We hope they make you smile, and don’t forget that 100% of the money you donate goes to charity.

This time we wanted to focus on homelessness. There is never a good time to be homeless, but Christmas has to be the worst time of all.! You can buy the new album, Jingle Skulls, below. 100% of the money goes to Crisis UK, a homelessness charity.

For the low price of $5 you can get nine songs of festive Blood Bowl themed nonsense. Spread the word, spread some love, and Merry Blitzmas!

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/308

Listen now to find out.

00:00:00 – Basically just FAQ stuff.

Also, check out Mike Davies guide on specific changes what veteran BB players should read for the new edition: https://t.co/Og7Jg3SEhQ?amp=1

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What could go wrong?

Episode Seventy-Eight: FAQ Yourself Before you Wreck Yourself

PS: The charity album can be found here!

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

00:00:00 – idk whatever they natter on about

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What could go wrong?

Episode Seventy-Seven: We Have The Box

PS: The charity album can be found here!

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

00:00:00 – Teams of Legend

oh-god-i-forgot-to-check-the-timestamps-uhhh-about-an-hour-or-so-in?? – Know No Fear by Dan Abnett

02:01:38 – End

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Episode Seventy-Six: Teams of Legends Know No Fear

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PS: The charity album can be found here!

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

Tonight, we talk about the new box set that’s been announced. We also talk Trollslayer, Eurobowl, Secret League a tiny, tiny Bloodblusters at the end, with questions submitted by Iktarus.

Next book for book club is: Know No Fear by Dan Abnett 

00:00:00 – Introduction/Blood Bowl Boxset
00:32:08 – Eurobowl and Secret League
01:00:38 – Trollslayer by William King
01:36:46 – Bloodblusters
02:20:21 – End

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Episode Seventy-Five: BB2020 Box Set/Trollslayer

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PS: The charity album can be found here!

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

We have taken a sensible approach to the new rules discussion by meticulously going over every team from BB2020 in the context of the new rules.

Fasten your seatbelts boys and girls, it’s a long one. PS, that’s gotta be a record for podcast length, right?

00:00:00 – Introduction
00:05:44 – Black Orc
00:21:58 – Chaos Chosen
00:34:24 – Chaos Pact
00:53:48 – Dark Elf
01:04:28 – Dwarf
01:24:48 – Elf Union
01:44:46 – Goblin
02:12:24 – Halflings
02:21:24 – Humans
02:42:42 – Imperial Nobility
02:54:36 – Lizardmen
03:11:27 – Necromantic
03:31:40 – Nurgle
03:34:54 – Ogres
03:53:34 – Old World Alliance
04:14:50 – Orcs
04:42:14 – Undead
05:03:38 – Skaven
05:14:38 – Snotlings
05:28:39 – Underworld
05:37:42 – Wood Elves
05:59:50 – Outro
06:06:11 – End – Finally!

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What could go wrong?

Episode Seventy-Four: BB2020 EVERY Team Deep-dive

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PS: The charity album can be found here!

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

Oh mah Nuffle! New edition of Blood Bowl is on the horizon, and we have been shown spoilers. Let the wild speculation commence! 

00:00:00 – New Edition Discussion!!

End – End

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What could go wrong?

Episode Seventy-Three: New Edition Spoilerooskies

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The charity album can be found here!

https://www.playitforward.com/projects/273

A number of like minded people decided to use the quarantine time to have a laugh and create some music themed around this great game of ours: Blood Bowl.

Shortly after that, one song became multiple songs, which became an album. And we thought, if we’re going to do this, lets do it properly and raise some money for a good cause while we’re here. And so, Blocker and the Linemen was formed.

The Trussell Trust is a food bank charity. I chose this charity because it is difficult for everyone at the moment, but it is even more difficult for those that rely on these services to live.

So! Buy the album, have some fun, and let’s spread a little bit of good.

-Alex/Twelfman

—-

This project is the culmination of months of collaboration between all manner of people around the community and beyond.

I’d like to give some thank-yous.

Firstly, thank you to Bron for always being there to help when I had a mad idea or needed someone to sense check a piece I’d recorded. And thank you for all the contributions you’ve made. I still think Bertha Bigfist is the best song on the album.

Thank you to the guys over at the Two Drunk Flings podcast for creating this idea in the first place. You guys rock.

Thank you to Ed, Keith and Thor for singing a couple of songs on the album. Thanks to Frank for providing a wealth of hilarious lyrics. You guys rock as well.

Thanks to everyone I badgered to give me audio files for the Drinking Song. And double thanks to everyone who gave me one!

Thanks to Mark for the fantastic painting of the Halfling for the cover, and thanks to Duncan for taking my crummy cover and making it amazing.

Thanks to my wife Anna for putting up with me playing the same songs over… and over… and over…

And lastly: thanks to you for reading this and buying a copy. You rock most of all.

This week we’re discussing The Daemon’s Curse, the first book in the Malus Darkblade series by Dan Abnett.

We’re also taking another retrospective look at Blood Bowl 4th edition, so grab onto your pants, it’s insane!

Also, next week we’re discussing Trollslayer, the first book in the Gotrek and Felix series.

Lastly, the Blood Bowl charity album I keep harping on about has a release date! 31st of July. Listen to until the end of this episode for a sneak preview…

00:00:00 – Book Club: The Daemon’s Curse by Dan Abnett

Some Time Later – 4th Edition

End – End

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Episode Seventy-Two: Malus in Plunderland

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oh god we have to talk about ‘descent of angels’ send help

00:00:00 – Book Club: Descent of Angels

00:53:00 – All the other bumf

01:40:00 – Song Preview

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Episode Seventy-One: Descent of Plaingels

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We decide talking about Blood Bowl is so passé for a Blood Bowl podcast so instead decide to talk about Ciaphus Cain, an overwhelmingly superior use of time than listening to us. But, well, you’re stuck here now aren’t you? So, what are you going to do about it? Huh? Well?

Next “week’s” bookclub topic is ‘Descent of Angels’, widely considered to be one of the shittest 40k books ever written, which is saying something. We invite you cordially to join us!

00:00:00 – Book Club: Ciaphus Cain

00:59:00 – Tournament Discussion from Naz about him being some horrible dwarfs at an online NAF tourney

01:12:25 – Secret League Discussions

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What could go wrong?

Episode Seventy: Insane in the Membr-Cain

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We’re still all locked indoors, so we take the opportunity to talk nonsense about nonsense, well, like normal really.

We’re doing a book club! We’re reading For The Emperor, the first in the Ciaphus Cain books. You can currently get it for £1 from here: Humble Bundle

0:69 – Nice

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What could go wrong?

Episode Sixty-Nine: COVID-69

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Hang on, isn’t the number meant to be on this side? – 0:00

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Episode Sixty-Eight: Blood Bowl Compendimonium

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However, Matt has been struck down with Nurgle’s Rot so isn’t here to talk about it.

Ah well! The rest of us solider on, regardless.

Also, Twelfman hosts perhaps the fairest Bloodblusters of all time.

10:00 – Hǝlq I’m ƨɈυɔʞ in ɒ miɿɿoɿ 

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Merrick’s Youtube Channel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ne_rA9gUP-M&

What could go wrong?

Episode Sixty-Seven: Leap!

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I think they talk about the Welsh Championship.

What do you want from me?

00:01 – Some Sort Of Blood Bowl 

1̣̯̭̦͖̀6͔̤̪̜̻̼̮̠͉:̨̪6͙̣͇͖̭̹̟̦̤̕͢6̢̥̫̞͔͓̝̩͠ ͙̪͕̠̞̺̮̬̱͞-҉̫̫̘̹̣̣͈̭ͅ ̧̟̟E̶͙̘̣̱̣͎̳͔͜͜n̬͉̞̳̣͉͝d̘̥͙̪͝ ̡̛͍̘̪̣̩̩̗̱T̥̞̟̺̭͜ͅi̶̡̺͉͎m̨͏̮͎̲̙̥̬̗ͅé͍́͞s̢̳͇̰

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What could go wrong?

Episode Sixty-Six: Episode Sixty-Six: Well Well Welsh

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Also, Matt does Bloodblusters.

Sigh.

99:99 – Why do I even bother?

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What could go wrong?

Episode Sixty-Five: Completely Rational Discussions About Slave Giants

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We also talk diplomacy and marxism!

We talk – huh?

00:00 – Lizard Spike

1:24:26 – Foodbowl

2:09:54 – BloodBlusters

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What could go wrong?

Episode Sixty-Four: Lizards and Food. Food Lizards. Fizards? Lood..!

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00:00 – World Cup

4:00:00 – Are they still prattling on?

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What could go wrong?

Episode Sixty-Three: The NAF World Cup IV – (DORN)BIRN, BABY BIRN!

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I wasn’t able to attend the third NAF World Cup in Luca sadly, so I was determined to make it to make it to Dornbirn. I sold all of my warhammer, took on some painting commissions, saved up all my pennies, and before I knew it was waiting for my 06:30 bus to shepherd me away to some full on, hardcore nerding.

Travel and Lodging
The travel was, in my opinion, fairly straight forward. A bus to the airport, a plane to the bus, a bus to the venue. Granted each leg took a good 2-3 hours, plus faffing around time, but it wasn’t actually too bad. I coached from Newport to Heathrow, flew from Heathrow to Zurich, and then got the bus from Zurich to Dornbirn. The shuttle buses were much appreciated, and it was great to just make sure I was in the right place at the right time, and I knew I would be picked up and plopped down in the right areas.

We found it hard to find a good place to sleep all six of our team for a non-crazy price, so we ended up splitting into three splinters. Thankfully we were all fairly close, so we were able to meet up in some capacity on each night – in theory. More on that later…

I stayed with Dreamscreator (Hugo) in a nice little two-bed apartment in the centre. We agreed to play a match to determine who got the sofa bed and who got the normal bed. I set it all up on the iPad, quite happily letting him play Orcs… little did he know the Orc team he was playing had only three BoBs, three Blitzers and a goblin/troll combo. Har! Lizards ftw!

6am bus on Thursday

Sunrise over the Severn

Start as you mean to go on!

The Team
My team was BUBBA Legacy. We’d all at some point or other lived in or around Bristol (except Sam), and we decided to add Legacy as only two of us did currently. Eski (Steve – Necro) was our Captain, with Hugo (Orcs), HungDonkeyman (Dave – Chaos Pact), scs.sam (Sam – Slann) and Hawk (Andy – Undead) comprising our six. We collectively had only one tier one team, with the rest solidly tiers two and three. None of us were man enough to bring any  stunties!

http://nafworldcup.sbbm-turniere.com/1/B66.html

The Squad

My Roster
I brought Khemri, because #KhemriLife. I have had a lot of fun with them and I would say at this point they are my strongest team (geddit?) My roster was: Tomb Guardian x 4 (Guard Day One), Blitz-Ra x 1 (Tackle Day One/Mighty Blow Day Two), Throw Ra x 1 (Block Day Two), Blitz Ra (Guard Day Three), Throw Ra (Block Day Three), Skeleton x 6 and two rerolls.

http://nafworldcup.sbbm-turniere.com/1/B66/B66A02.html2

My opinion with Khemri is that if you’re not going four Guard Guardians on day one you’re doing it wrong (my mantra is – Guard Wins Games). Then again, I didn’t finish as top Khemri so maybe I’m way off the mark. (Top Khemmers took a Break Tackle Guardian and a frenzy Blitz Ra, so who knows!)

After that, the next most important skill is Block on the Throw Ras. I’ve had many games where a single die block or -2D on the Ball Carrier has dislodged it. Cake Bowl taught me that Block on the Throw Ras is absolutely vital. However, with only one skill allocation left, I elected for Tackle instead. Tackle is just as important in many ways, so it’s a toss up. My thinking was that if I come across a Zon team or some nasty Woodies day one, or even some unskilled Ghouls or human Catchers, that Block/Tackle combo is going to make some people very sad.

Day two gives you an extra 50k, so I blocked a throw ra. I didn’t want to block the other one as it would waste the remaining 10k, so instead of using a double (I don’t think Khemri particularly care for doubles anyway) I stacked Mighty Blow on the Tackler to make him even more popular. Last day I slapped Block on the last TR, then it was a case of what to buy with the last 20k. Dirty Player is a nice skill, especially with a 14-man build, but I elected for more Guard because I’m tonnes of fun.

Fourteen players seems like a lot, and it is, but I had games where I needed them all. AV7 is bad, and even with Regen they like to stay off the pitch. I completely abuse them as well, throwing them into all sorts of nasty situations. Again, you can obviously go 12-man build and bring the third reroll (again with a random 10k to spend on what, Fan Factor?), but I’m not a fan of this. Rerolls come and go, and can be wasted so easily, gained and spent with nothing to show for it. Players are never wasted. Even if he dies in turn one, knowing you have another ready to join in next drive is a great feeling. With 12-players, you only need to be two skellies down before you’re sticking positionals on the LoS, and with the amount of Chaos and Undead, that’s not a good idea… Plus Khemri should (ideally) only throw 3d or 2d with Block blocks (important ones anyway), plus Sure Hands – Rerolls and for when things go wrong. Khemri are a team that can easily go wrong for the unprepared player, so you have to play safe safe safe. Balls to the walls is for other teams

I’m always up for a good debate about Khemri, so feel free to disagree. We can settle it on the pitch!

I blathered on about that for far too long! Let’s get onto the event itself.

Venue
The venue was gorgeous! A lovely great big hall with plenty of room, despite the concentration of nerds. Lots of easily accessible bars, plenty of toilets, nice breakout areas for getting fresh air. There was a big shopping mall two minutes walk away, so lots to see and do.

Austria is gorgeous. The mountains! Swoon

Day 0 – Thursday
Well, it had to roll around some time. Day 0 was the day for everyone to get oriented, to see what was going on, meet old friends, and it was the day for the Captains to get everything ready with regards to registration etc. Unfortunately, this is where things started to go a little awry.

It was a mandatory requirement for Captains to collect their teams welcome packs, containing a couple of goodies plus their lanyards, and their mandatory skill ring allocations. It was a great idea. In anticipation of the language barriers, a predetermined allocation of colours for each skill had been communicated out in the most prevalent languages, and the entrance fee included your required skill rings, all magnetically enhanced, so there would be no doubt as to yours and your opponents skills. Each ring was in fact a base with a raised rim, consisting of four small puzzle pieces that could be interchanged with other colours to create stacked skills. Good idea, right? Right.

However…

For whatever reason these had not been prepared ahead of time. What this meant was they were being constructed live in front of the waiting captains. They were fiddly little things, with four puzzle pieces and small sticky magnets. Multiplied by an average of say 9 skills per coach, 6 coaches per team, you’re looking at around 12500 skill rings. That’s an awful lot of fiddling about. We started queueing in the first main queue to get into the second hall. We were there for around an hour and a half, then we were able to progress to the second queue… which we were in for almost three additional hours. We joined the queue at 6pm and didn’t leave the venue until quarter past ten, well after the final bus to the town had left. People were getting frustrated, myself included. I offered to help in any way I could, perhaps I could take a team at a time and just dump the needed skill rings in their respective captain’s goodie bag for him or her to figure out, but it was declined.

I had started to get annoyed by about 8pm.

I can sympathise with the organisers. I run a few small tourneys and that’s stressful enough, I imagine such a large event must cause a few headaches. I talked with many people, including those who had run similar-sized events (albeit all smaller – this was the largest BB event ever run remember.) I had a mix of responses. Some said that until the naysayers had run events of that scale, they had to right to complain. Others said that this sort of delay was simply inexcusable. It’s a hard one. Remember these are volunteers, not paid staff. But then again, also remember that we players have travelled a long way (very long way for some) and paid a lot of money to play a few games and have a laugh, not to wait in a hot stuffy room for over four hours.

It meant that I missed dinner on the Thursday, and missed the opportunity to socialise with my friends, other that what we could manage in the queue (I played a few matches on the ol’ iPad). I did make some new friends though (how could you not, when standing next to them for that long? I spent longer with them than some of my opponents). I also missed the opening ceremony, the band, and the bus home, meaning I had to lug my suitcase all the way to the flat.

I do not know how long people were there until, but I imagine it was until the small hours. I know there were lots of people queueing again when I arrived at 8.30 the following morning. Thankfully it wasn’t the same queue!

I did manage to buy myself a little prezzie while waiting though.

from this gent!

And saw some really cool things.

https://photos.app.goo.gl/gBHKHUsCaMQ5qRE57

Day One – Round One – Friday

Due to the skill rung delays, round one didn’t actually kick off on time. Coupled with some technical problems surrounding the customised ordering within the teams, even as far as 10.30/11am the organisers were asking people not to start their games. Myself, with many others, decided to start playing anyway. We thought that if we had to start again due to mismatched pairings, in the words of my opponent: We would have had all this fun for nothing. So we started anyway, and said we would count this as the proper result.

Our first opponents were the Dutch team BUBBLE, and I was playing poor Mepmuff, who had recently had an accident on his bike and was in a wheelchair and cast combination! His Undead boasted a Block mummy on day one, plus a Tackle Wight with Guard.

Ours was a funny old game. It was Pouring Rain and I lost the kickoff, but the weather immediately changed to normal, so that was nice. I ground up the pitch, but my drive was stymied and stopped, so I went into the second half without anything to show for it. We agreed that the dice were completely normal. No wacky stuff, nothing failed on either side, and only a KO’d Tomb Guardian was the only real removal. The only Reroll I used was on turn 8 for a block that needed a knockdown hoping for the handoff-blitz-ra play, but it was not to be.

The second half was a whole separate kettle of snotlings. We both failed and flubbed all manner of simple things. All of our rerolls were gone by turn 4. My favourite part was this: He broke away for a sideline cage. I tried to tag a corner with my Tackle BR, but snake eye-d the GFI. He ran his side-cage down, but in trying to get the zombie to protect the corner, snake eye-d the GFI! I laughed when he shook his head, then smiled and said “Don’t you hate it when the dice are fair?”

I pushed his Ghoul into the crowd, the throw was fairly favourable, but I snake eye-d another GFI to pick it up. Basically we both failed to do anything much, but I did secure the ball in a janky cage to stop the score. End of game: 0-0.

My vegan lunch was actually really tasty. Jacket spuds, rice plus herby tomato sauce. Nice and filling, and the queue was thankfully fast moving.

Bad tidings again. There was a problem with the software that managed the rankings and the draw. A poor ref would stand on stage, tell us it’s all in hand, and only a 5-10 minute wait until the draw was done. Then nothing for an hour, then another 5-10 delay… We were eventually told that only two games would be played today, and there may be scope to play the extra game on Saturday. It wasn’t until 17:30 that we were finally able to start round two – or so we thought. Again we were told not to play, but plenty of us did anyway (just for something to do!). Many people were trying to be good natured about it, but the disappointment and frustration, particularly after Thursday night, was palpable. Around 20 minutes after we started our round two, we were told there was a redraw, so we all packed up and shifted over to the new table allocations. We kicked off at 6pm.

Round Two
What iced the cake for us was after all this – we were playing another team from the south west of the UK! What are the odds! My opponent, the wonderful Skab and his Humans, were in the same league as me.

His humans had three Guard and a Tackle (or was it MB?) blitzer, plus Guard on the Ogre. It was a great game with some tough back and forth. With that much guard on the pitch, it’s always a slog to fight your way through. Unfortunately for me, my drive was again stopped due a combination of good positional play and the blocks slowing down, so started the second half with 0 touchdowns.

Skab went for the quick score, which can be a valid tactic against Khemri. Score fast, then throw everything you have at stopping them equalising. That, coupled with the problem of Khemri having to spread themselves out to defend, means you can usually score quite reliably.

Unluckily for Dave, I was able to just about swamp his catcher with enough guys to make it hard to break free. That, and a sneaky Blitz-Ra dodge meant it went from hard to very hard.

A quick note on Khemri dodges – don’t rule them out. Once I’m done in my turn with all the sensible stuff, I will look at any unactivated players who’re being marked by chumps. I will 100% dodge them if they could be in a better position and if there’s no real problem to them tripping. Also remember that a downed player can block an avenue better than a standing one in many ways.

Anyway, with all my guard, it meant Dave had to attempt a -2DB at some point, and unluckily for him it failed. Another note on Khemri strategy – I find many drives will succeed or fail on how lucky the opponent is with -2DBs. If they work, you’re going to struggle. But, the dice are technically in your favour…

With that flubbed, I was able to smoosh the humans with some very friendly casualty dice. I scored five cas in that game, and I think they were all in the second half. Very hard to stop a drive without a team, so I went 1-0. My first touchdown! Woo!

With that, day one ended with only two games played at around 8.30pm. Some of us had been in that hall for 16 hours over the last day, and only had two games to show for it.

We went out for a banging Chinese that night though as we were starving! The issue was that I felt I couldn’t leave the venue for fear the round would be drawn at any moment. In reflection, it would have been better IMO to be told that the round would not start for two hours, so everyone go and get some dinner. But then, I wasn’t there behind the scenes, so I don’t know. I do know that communication is key.

I will state again that I have sympathy for the organisers. It must have been heartbreaking for it to go so wrong at this stage after all their hard work.

We did manage to find a great asian restaurant, which I ended up returning too again on Sunday.

The moment Sam realise that when the chef said ‘Spicy’, he really meant SPICY!

Day Two – Round Three – Saturday
It was indeed confirmed that we were going to try to fit in four games on Saturday. With that in mind, we all geared ourselves up for a long day. I stopped by the shop to get some dinner in preparation.

Thankfully, the organisers seem to have ironed out the bugs, and the day actually ran really smoothly. We were relieved, but again a little disappointed : the last game finished around 9pm, so I was completely knackered. I was too tired to socialise. I reckon between 6 and 10.30-11pm is the golden time to eat and laugh together. Instead I had to settle for whatever I had bought from the shop for my dinner at about 9.30pm back at the flat. Sad face.

Anyway, after only a short delay (of fifteen minutes which is fine) we begun…

My third game was against a Swedish coach on the African Impis team. His name was Oberwald_1, and he was bringing Humans with Helmut Wolf. Other than that, it was a standard human team, with guard/MB blitzers, catchers and of course the Guard Ogre. In his drive he scored in two turns, which I was happy with. It meant I had six turns to grind it down in the next drive, then a full 8 turn ubergrind in the second half.

Unfortunately, he stopped my drive on turn 8. Helmut had sat at the back, not getting involved for the whole game, but on the very last turn he charged across the pitch and chainsawed my Throw Ra in his boney face.

My drive started well but quite quickly fell to pieces. The problem with Khemri is when you don’t get any knock downs at all. I was finding myself getting more and more hemmed in, and at about turn 5 or 6 I was completely stuck. More and more -2DBs started working, and before I knew it the ball carrier himself was being assaulted and half my team were gone, gone, gone!. It was certainly not all dice, and my opponent played very well. After turning me over he ran it in on turn 8 for a well-earned 2-0 lead. He ended the day on an amazing 7/1/1, so fair play to him!

Now it was officially ‘Day Two’, so we could bring some more toys into the matches.

Round Four
Game four was versus a Hungarian team in the second hall (our team had lost…). Wolio is one of those rare players: a woman who plays the game. Sadly, our hobby is not the most diverse, and it’s always refreshing to see women competing. That’s a discussion for another time though.

She was playing Bretonnians, and playing them damn well. (Note: Wolio won the award for highest placed Bretonnian at the end of the tourney). She had a Sure Hands knight and two Dodge knights, plus some a Guard Yeoman and a Tackle Yeoman. What was funny is that before the game started, she was leafing through a small pile of A5 pieces of card. She picked two out, looked at them, then told me she was going to inform my captain. It turned out they were invitations to a Hungarian tournament, but I had misinterpreted them and thought they were two Dirty Tricks cards! I was on the edge of my seat the whole round, expecting at any moment a Pit Trap or Trampoline or Custard Pie… Gulp.

Of course, I did the gentlemanly thing and completely destroyed her team. She scored again in two turns (after a hand-off play), giving me ample time for the grindy-grindy. By the time I walked it in, she was down to 6 players (and only one knight). By the end of the second half, she was down to about three.

There was a worrying moment when, after throwing player after player at my cage, she succeeded in the 6+ cage dive! Thankfully for me I wasn’t knocked down. Could you imagine…

She took it all in good spirits, and I walked away with a 2-1. Speaking of spirits, our captain was gifted a bottle of the infamous Hungarian Magic Potion which saw him enjoy his next couple of games immensely, regardless of the result.

Round Five
Round five saw us pitted against another Hungarian team. There were only three, and we joked that we wanted to play the last one to get the set. This time I was playing Swifty and his High Elves. I can always respect a man who plays High Elves. Only one blodger made me happy, with a smattering of tackle, dodge, block and wrestle throughout the team.

It was a good game. I scored in 8 turns (boring shmuck that I am.) However, there was a moment of controversy that I still feel unsure about…

It was sweltering heat. We played my drive as normal, then started rolling for the players to feel the heat to set up for turn 8 for him. I had lost two TGs to the heat (it happens) and he had lost a player or two. After his his turn 8, we again rolled for each player to feel the heat, and again I lost two TGs. After I told Hugo, he said we shouldn’t be rolling for players that were already off (for KOs or previous Heat). We hadn’t yet started the 9th turn, and had only just set up. We had a quick chat about what to do, with myself saying we should roll again, not including all players who were already off, and my opponent suggesting we carry on as we are now. In the end, as is probably the best scenario, we agreed to roll a dice and on a 4+ we would start the drive again. It was indeed a 4+, so we rerolled the heat but only for the relevant players.

In the end it didn’t really matter as he scored in two turns regardless, but I still wonder if I did the right thing.

I ground up for 7 turns and walked it in on turn 16 for another 2-1.

I also built a cage I like to call: The Paranoid.

Round Six
My opponent was fairly long in the tooth – how long you ask? Well, when I say my NAF number is 21092 (and I daresay yours is not too dissimilar,) Skaffen’s is: 97. Blimey! His first official NAF tourney was in 2002. He had the full compliment of positionals, with Guard on the troll and a Blorc, plus three Block Blorcs and a Tackle Blitzer. I like it when I’m playing Khemri and my opponents bring Tackle. Rehehe.

When I took a sneaky at his NAF ranking before our match (masochist that I am) I saw that his Orc ranking was a less-than-average 128.41. This was from a few tournaments, some as far ago as 2003! However, I can say that he did not play like a coach with a 128 ranking.

Our game was a mad one. I received (I had received in almost all my games – protip, I like receiving with Khemri. It means that at least for the first offense you have all your important players). I had the hard job of trying to fight my way through an orcish wall. It was a tense game of concentrating all my strength and Guard in the centre, forcing him to either risk the -2DB blocks or dodge away. At one point Skaff said “I can’t believe I’m having to do a dodging screen with Orcs.” That’s the beauty of Khemri, baby!

Thankfully, I knocked out his Troll in about three turns (the only removal of the match, except in the second half – where I knocked his Troll out again!) meaning I had the Guard advantage. And, remember what I said before: Guard Wins Games. I was able to breakthrough for a touchdown at the end of my drive, despite it very nearly going all sorts of wrong. My throw-ra was being marked in a way that meant I had to blitz through to score (and I HAD to get a knockdown). Thankfully, it all worked out.

I was feeling at least confident of the draw at this point. He had the goblin OTTD attempt, but it’s a fairly low-success play. It was only when I had set up all my guys right in the back field (with three Tomb Guardians off for safety reasons) I realise he in fact had two turns left to score as I had only run it on my turn 7…whoops. I’ve been victim to the Orcy Two Turn Score before, and I know it’s entirely possible!

He ran all his scoring threats down, that being all four blitzers plus the goblin. I did what damage I could, but I couldn’t stop them all, and a hand-over-eyes turn of expert Orcy ball handling and passing saw a blitzer run it in on turn 8 for the equaliser. Doh!

So it was 1-1 as I was kicking – never a good place to be with Khemri. He was unable to force his way through the Khemri Stodge Wall Of Fun (always a great moment when your opponent looks at your wall of Guard and just goes “What now?”), so he elected to try and charge down the sidelines. I stopped him, and ended up shoving a blitzer off the pitch for his troubles. The throw in was kind to him, and within a few moments an Orc Blitzer was sauntering his way down to my end zone, ball in hand. I had one opportunity to take him down… my Blitz-Ra straightened his helmet, rubbed his hands together, and blitzed like he’d never blitzer before! Not only did I take him down, the Blitzer was actually killed as well. What a hammerblow! I had just enough turns to be able to scoop it up and run it in on turn 16 for a (hard fought) 2-1 win. Whew!

So, after a punishing four games in one day, we finished at around 9pm. That’s a late finish for such a high-demanding tournament in terms of brain capacity. I was knackered, but well happy with my 3/0/1 record that day. That put me on 4/1/1, a respectable result for 6 games, and tied for top Khemri! Exciting!

Day Three – Round Seven – Sunday
Ah, this game! It was an interesting one all right. I was a little late arriving (much to the chagrin of my captain, quite right too), and didn’t realise until a little way in that I was on a clock that had started before I turned up. So I had to get a wiggle on!

Avang was bringing Wood Elves with the standard build of Grab Treeman, Tackle/Strip Ball dancers and a few Block and Wrestle, plus Leader on the Thrower.

Despite my opponent having FaME+2, we both were hit by a rock, and unbelievably his Leader Thrower was killed on turn 0. Blimey! My team were on a killing spree and I reduced him to five elves (plus tree) within a half dozen turns. Unfortunately, even with Block/Sure Hands and all the Guard I could eat, his Dancer leapt into the cage and knocked my Throw-Ra down on a double pow/stumbles (grah!). My Tomb Guardian helpfully caught the ball though, and I was able to walk it in on turn 8.

Check who has the ball!

His OTTD flubbed (mostly because he had no one left), but a couple of elves recovered from their KOs. Stinkin’ elves.

He scored in three turns despite my best efforts (elfs gonna elf!) so I had enough time to grind up. After another leapy-double-pow/stumbles blitz that knocked the ball loose again (gnarg!) it was caught by another Tomb Guardian (wahoo!), who, thanks to his paltry MV4, was not going to make it without some GFIs. I got within 4 squares, but a second Double Skull this drive ate my last reroll, so it was seat-of-pants time. After a failed uphill blitz, my TG was marked, so I had to free him for him to score. Three blocks is what I needed to guarantee success, a 2d with block, a 3d with block, and then lastly a 3d without block. Guess who flubbed the last roll!

And again!

The game finished 1-1. I wasn’t bitter about it. Uncontrolled sobbing

Round Eight

I like Pro Elves. I myself have delivered a drubbing to Khemri with Pro Elves against poor Merrick. A blitz on turn one let me score on his drive, my turn one… ouch.

British_Dog is an exceptional Pro Elf player, packing an interesting and competitive build that featured Eldril plus a Block/Frenzy catcher, and this was coupled with a fairly abysmal turn of the dice for me. If I tell you I lost 4-0, you can probably guess what sort of game I had!

Practically every block whiffed, and those that didn’t did bugger all damage. I must have twatted Eldril a dozen times, but he just-didn’t-die! I can’t really complain, I’ve been on the other side of that exchange… He did some impeccable stalling, and although I was able to force him to score in four turns, he was able to apply mega pressure and turn me over to score again in turn 8.

My favourite turn was this: I received the kick (at this point I was 2-0 down already). I failed the GFI to pick up, rerolled, failed the pickup. It turn bounced into the crowd, and was thrown 11 squares into his side of the pitch, and it was caught by his thrower. Ah well!

Thrower on right, elf with ball on left. Fill in the blanks!

With games like this you just have to laugh it off. You can’t win them all

British_Dog ended up on 7/2/0, placing 6th over all. Fair play!

Round Nine

I was having a bit of a stinker of a day so far. Due to the rest of the team having stinkers too, I was still on the top table heading into the final round. Hopefully I could have a final game that would be a nice, easy, fun win against a newbie coach on a lucky spree. I was informed I was matched against Nicodaz, a man so french he was wearing an actual beret. A quick shufty at his NAF page, and…

Blimey! That’s a high win percentage and a lot of won tournaments, including a world cup win! Maybe ignorance is bliss…

He was rocking a Chaos team. There were lots of chaos teams here, but this was the first I was playing against. He had a claw/juggernaut Mino, three block warriors, a guard warrior, a guard beastman and a leader beastman, all topped off with the new and improved Lewdgrip Whiparm (he has dodge now, sneaky chaos warrior).

I actually kicked this time (not my choice), and the final game started. It was clear the tourney was taking its toll on us, we were both making just silly mistakes and forgetting things. Thankfully for me, the dice were with me meaning my mistakes were less punished and Nico’s were, er, not. His rerolls simply disappeared from a series of flubbed actions, and the final one went on a failed catch to almost guarantee a touchdown. I had pinned Lewdgrip up against the wall (after forgetting he had dodge – I had blitzed with a skeleton when my tackle/block Blitz Ra was in range. Why!!!), so he needed to do something a little special to get free. As I say, the catch failed, and I had enough time to scoop the ball with a plucky Throw Ra and run the hell outta there for a TD on turn 8.

I was now receiving, and decided to play it as safe as I could. Despite that, he still managed to get a block on the ball carrier, knocking him down, but my advantage in strength meant I was able to break through and run it in relatively early in the half. No sense in stalling it out! I was 2-0 up with two turns left. A few more turns of bullshit almost saw me walk in a third touchdown (I had the ball and was 6 squares away), but an amazing turn saw a single beastman blitz his way through tacklezones to down the ball carrier, then Lewdgrip also dodging through TZs to chuck a huge pass downfield, to hand off to a beastman, to score! It was a beautiful thing to see.

The last turn was a nothing turn, so I was able to take the 2-1 win.

That put me on 5/2/2, which I am happy with… Well… I wish that final turn in my round 8 had gone differently. A single push would have put me on 6/1/2, which would have snaffled me Best Khemri as well. But then, that’s the game we play! Still not as bad as losing a tournament on a Quad Skull… I’ll never forgive Sann for that. Lol.

Overall I was placed 182nd out of 1423. That puts me in the top 8th (Well, top 12.78%, so perhaps just past that top 1/8th… I’m taking it, okay!!)

Our squad finished 157th out of 236 overall with a 3/2/4 ranking. In a field as tough as this, I’m proud of them for that.

Probably my favourite moment of the tournament was at the bottom of round two. Our team was against the Hakflem Globetrotters. We had lost three games and won two, so to steal a round draw we needed a final win on the bottom table. Hawk was had inched a touchdown, putting him a 1-1 against some Necromantic with two turns left. We had all finished, so were all watching, cheering, chanting as he had rolled a Long Pass with a Wight, and succeeded, so the ball was with an unprotected ghoul, waaay down in the opponent’s backfield… All he had to do was survive the blitz, then break free!

The Ghoul was a blodger, so a single Pow and we were stuffed. In came the support… in came the Wolf for the big blitz! Push, Skull, frenzy block, Push, Defender Stumbles! The ghoul was up!

A third player tried to pin him in, but slipped on a crucial GFI. All Hawk had to do was get through! A dodge, another dodge! A GFI… A second GFI, and he was over the line for that 2-1 win, getting us a team draw! We were all cheering and whooping and bundling him into a massive team hug. That’s what the world cup was all about!!

At time of writing we’re still awaiting the NAF upload, so I’m unsure at how my rankings have been affected. I certainly won’t have hit 200 yet, but I should be a significant step closer. My love for the Egyptian Boney Boys has nothing if not strengthened. I think I have a problem.

So, in summary. The world cup was a heck of an experience. I was able to put lots of faces to names. Shout out here to Shawass, Strider84 and some other wonderful people who I met – thanks for the wonderful words about the podcast and the pleasure in meeting was all mine, I assure you! The food was great, the atmosphere unique. Despite the massive issues on the first two days, thankfully it was all sorted by the end, and congratulations to Torsten and the others for pulling off this magnificent event.

Here’s to 2023!

Sharing the stage with the Podcasts from the States – Both Down and Three Die Block

The South West

After disembarking on Monday night

Farewall, Dornbirn!

We also talk about the new Lizardmen models wot GW done gone and released.

Lastly, as ever, it’s a round of Bloodblusters hosted by Merrick!

00:00 – Coffee Cup

51:00 – Lizardmen discussion

1:30:00 – Bloodblusters

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What could go wrong?

Episode Sixty-Two: Sir Lowbrow Leak

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00:00 – Time

10:00 – Parsley

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What could go wrong?

Episode Sixty-One: Gert’n’Thrud’n’Stuff

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00:00 – Intro

§￥:♝∢ – Time is meaningless

∞ – End of days

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What could go wrong?

Episode Sixty: Two Hobbity Cakes

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Anyway, we also do some of them thar questions from over the pond, submitted by Kilowogg from Bothdown, the ‘number one blood bowl podcast’. I mean, not every podcast feels the need to justify itself. Some let the content speak for itself. Just sayin’.

Go find them on http://bothdown.com/

00:00 – Intro

29:00 – NAFC

1:34:00 – Bloodblusters

2:18:00 – Super Secret Extras

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What could go wrong?

Episode Fifty-Nine: NAFC Riff Raff C

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My running joke is that whenever my friend Andy (that’s Hawca to you plebs) runs a tournament, some huge life event happens to me, meaning I can’t go. I was moving house a few years back, so had to miss the NAFC. Then I got married when the Eurobowl was happening. I’ve decided that if I ever want to have a baby, I’ll ask Andy to host an event scheduled for about nine months time.

Back on topic, let’s have a write up, as they’re always an excuse for me to write about myself fun.

I have a tendency to force myself to acquire and paint a team in a short amount of time before a tournament. That added time pressure is perfect for getting me into gear. I’ve done it with Chorfs, Norse, and now: Undead! I decided to bring Undead for two reasons: Firstly, having now completed the 26 as of my last event, I needed to start seriously thinking about which teams I want to play.

Secondly, my next goal is to get on the vaunted NAF legends list be having 24 races (or is it 26 now?) at 150 ranked or higher. Undead was my lowest ranking (snarf) as I played them when TOing Gert a few years back, using them as a terrible but hilarious full Zombie roster with two mummies and Ramtut. Unsurprisingly, I went 0-1-5 with them, tanking my NAF ranking to a measly 127. So, if I wanted to crank that ranking up again, what better event to take them to?

Thirdly, I’m a closet powergamer, but don’t tell anyone I told you.

With that in mind I gave myself two weeks to buy, build and paint the undead, and I’m happy with how they came out:

So, for a roster, I did the following.

1. Mummy with Guard day one
2. Mummy with Guard day two
3. Wight with Tackle day one
4. Wight with Guard day two
5. Ghoul with Block day one
6. Ghoul with Block day two
7. Ghoul
8. Ghoul
9. Zombie
10. Zombie
11. Zombie
12. Zombie

I had an interesting conversation with 20Phoenix the night before about the skills for Undead. He thinks it’s important to skill up the ghouls and wights first, as they do almost all the hard work. I think that the more guard the better, so favoured the mummies. We had similar rosters at the end of the day, but a different skill allocation. He also placed higher than me, so maybe he was right!

First casualty of the day.

The night before there was a mini 7s tournament held at Warhammer World. It was the ‘orrible North versus the noble South. I partook, but sadly was not able to provide a decent amount of points, shouldering a loss and a win. My opponent and I in game one managed five pairs of double skulls between us. Not bad for a 7 a side, 6 turn game!

The fetid North were victorious for the second year running, and after a few (dozen) pints, it was bed time…

This was by far the largest tournament I had ever been to before. The venue is gorgeous and spacious, the surroundings are divine, the lunch is bipolar. Day one lunch was awful, day two lunch was amazing. The atmosphere is buzzing, and it’s so nice to see so many familiar faces and names bobbing up all over the place.

I also got to finally meet the lads over at Two Drunk Flings podcast, including fellow vegan blood bowl podcaster Longstride (how often can you say that?) and his out-of-this-world beautiful halfling team. After briefly comparing sausage rolls, we went inside.

Note to self: ease up on the sausage rolls!

The venue was visited by both Pete Knifton, who did some of the most iconic BB artwork over the years, and JT-Y, one of the current writers of the game. Nice to see these figures engaging with the current community!

Some of Peter Knifton’s characterful artwork

Enough fannying around taking in the sights, lets get on to some bloody Blood Bowl!

GAME ONE – DEETEE (Pro Elves)

My first opponent was Deetee, who at a glance is exactly the same person as Ceetee. Except he’s not. He’s his younger brother, and he was rocking Pro Elves.

I always respect a man who plays Pro Elves, as I think they’re entirely underrated. That being said, I’m also a man who plays Pro Elves, so I had the advantage of knowing how to stop them!

I got a Blitz! turn one, which was always helpful, but being the coward I am I had set up too far back to do much with it. Still, a few ghouls got a bit closer.

CeeteeDeetee was doing it right, he was keeping back and not engaging. Unfortunately for him, he was getting hemmed in up against a sideline. I’ve found that at low-skill tournaments Elves tend to struggle with a lack of dodge. Once you blodge up the blitzers, most of the other guys have nothing to keep them alive, so what do you do?

You squish them!

Once his ball carrier was near the edge, I was able to get a jammy double-chain push to get a block on a cage corner, leaving my mummy free for a GFI blitz. I took the thrower down and the ball was thrown in eight squares towards his end zone, right next to my unactivated ghoul. How lovely! As you can imagine, he scampered off. After a big of desperate handbags between some lineelves and some ghouls, I ran it in on turn 6.

Deetee was unable to equalise in the half, so I was going into the second half 1-0 and receiving, always a good position!

After giving my opponent a Blitz! kickoff (well, he did graciously give me one first), luckily the ball was not in the hands of an elf. I think it might have been different, but I think it didn’t emerge until later that Deetee was 100% certain you could catch the kickoff, so instead he stood next to it. I just about recovered it and then I did the standard thing of taking the breaks off the undead-pain train, shunting my way down the centre of the pitch. As I was okay for time, I had no issue scoring on turn 6. Deetee got himself a TD on turn 16, but sadly it was too late for him by then.

RESULT: 2-1 WIN

GAME TWO: ROLEX (Amazons)

Bloody amazons!

Roxanna was in tow for the wonderful Italian Rolex and his ‘zons. Three guard (more than me!), lots of ladies, standard zon stuff.

He received, hit a few zombies, but double BD’d with a linewoman. I was in a position to 3DB blitz a blitzer, which I did, but didn’t knock her down. I proceeded to throw five more blocks against her, pushing her deeper into my defensive setup, before finally getting the knockdown and the Cas (which was APO’d – boo!).

I was in the driving seat for a while, removing and marking Amazons, but Rolex is a great player and Roxanna is a stunning star, so it was hard to pin him down. I managed to get a 2DB on her with my Tackle wight, but snake eye’d the GFI to hit her! Curses!

Nuffle gave me another chance though and a riot gave me two turns to equalise. I couldn’t break through the line though, so went into half two with a 0-1 against.

I tried, oh how I tried. There was cage diving, double skulling, all sorts. I told myself if I could remove Roxy by any means, I would go for the early TD. I never got a sniff of her. She eventually left the pitch by failing a dodge into two TZs (serves her right), but by then it was too late. After some more high-pressure Amazon defence, the end zone was in sight. All I needed was a GFI after being pushed back one square (after some insane amazon dodgy-dodgy-blitzy). I had a Reroll, I just needed to make the single GFI to equalise.

Ah.

RESULT: 1-0 LOSS

GAME THREE: KAIOWAS (Humans)

After winding myself down after the last match (to be honest, it wasn’t that bad. It’s just a game, and losses like that are a perfect reminder of how to be a gracious loser. Besides, I’ve won games on similar odds, so who am I to complain?), I was matched against Kaiowas. He was bringing Humans. He had a block ogre, two guarding Blitzers and a Tackle blitzer.

Perhaps I was not playing my best after the last game, but despite that it was a great match against a lovely opponent, and said opponent played spectacularly. He prevented me from scoring in my drive (note to self, count the number of squares you have progressed to make sure you can actually score), and surfed the jesus out of my as well. Thankfully, the crowd were kind to me!

In the second half, he again played very well, never letting me get near the ball. The MVP was surely a single human lineman, who sat on a mummy literally all game until he was KO’d in about turn 14. What a hero. We know it was the same one each drive has he had a leg up in a little jaunty dance.

This jaunty little sunnova…

I was able to force him to score, giving me two turns to equalise, which I did (thank Nuffle). It all was fair in love and blood bowl, it should have been a loss, but that’s the game we play!

RESULT: 1-1 DRAW

Ending day one on 1-1-1 was, I must be honest, a little disappointing, following my last two tournaments (combined going 6-0-1). But, as they say, the day is young… What was nice was the pressure being taken off. Sometimes you start doing well, and you think “Oh god, there’s a chance I could place, so now every game is going to be hard, aaaah”. Now I knew I was not going to be up there, it was nice to just have a bit of fun with it.

GAME FOUR: MYRMIDON (Norse)

Almost everyone I spoke to told me of at least one game they had versus stunty of one of the many children inhabiting the arena (or both!). I was starting to think I was not going to get any of the ‘easy’ games as I set up opposite another adult playing another strong team!

He had Norse, but no Yeti (thank God). I always find the Yeti is more of a psychological threat than a real one. He petrifies the like of Undead or Khemri, or Orcs, often failing to deliver on those threats (but there’s always that maybe…) He was rocking two block Ulfs, a Tackle Blitzer, MB blitzer and two Dodge runners.

I chose to receive and try to cause some damage, but it didn’t really stick. In fact, I only did one casualty all game (boo! hiss!). I did however manage to score in relative comfort on turn 8, mostly thanks to a tactic I re-learnt last match (namely, shove a zombie in the way. In this case, on each of the Ulfs). Also, my fouling boot was still going strong, removing a few linemen and even an Ulf before getting sent off (for the first time this weekend!)

On his turn 8, thanks to some nice KO rolls, he was back up to 11 men, with a bench of 1. I was actually down two zombies, so I had to stick a positional on the line. I opted for a mummy (AV9, amirite?), but my opponent saw through this cunning strategy and promptly knocked him down, fouling him to death on a 2+2 with six assists, and used his voodoo magic to make me fail my regen. That’ll learn me!

The second half was a hard fought battle. Defending with only 9 players and 1 mummy is no easy feat. Although I almost had him once or twice, he was always savvy enough to stop my advances (not those kind of advances, that was for the bar the night before). He scored on turn 15, giving me once again two turns to equalise. I successfully got the ball up, stopped the sack, and just needed a single GFI to score. I had a reroll. So, my turn began, and….

Ah.

RESULT: 1-1 DRAW

ROUND FIVE : ELDRITCHFOX (Wood Elves)

After winding down again (which to be fair took a little longer this time!) I set up opposite yet another adult with a tier one team. What is nice about this tourney is that with this many people you’re almost always playing someone on the same record as you, so it’s nice to commiserate and be against someone with the same experience.

He had a Strip Ball dancer, a frenzy dancer, two block catchers, a leader thrower, kick lineelf (TAR) and a treeman. Also, no APO. That last bit made my ghoulish ears prick up.

I chose to kick. Also, this is the only game in which my 3 FF I bought didn’t play a part in the fans roll. People, take FF. It’s awesome.

He openly admitted he enjoys defending more with elves than attacking, so he went for the two turn score. It’s hard to stop a full Welf team doing the two turn score when they want to, so, predictably, I didn’t!

Kick made a nuisance of itself, so I had to set up all spread out and feeble, but thankfully was able to cage up without issue. Cue many turns of punches and beatings. I had an interesting moment around turn 5 or 6 where I could have surfed a wardancer with a few blocks, but it would mean not moving forward for a turn. Obviously, I surfed the dancer (because it’s almost a legal obligation). It meant by turn 8 I was having to make a few difficult blocks and dodges to score, but thankfully I made it, going 1-1 into the second drive.

I’ll note here how I never once actually hit his tree. He rooted both times quite early but my advice is, if at all possible, to ignore the treeman. Shove a lineman if you have to onto him, but don’t get tempted. Before you know it, he’s tying up both mummies and a wight…

I was facing 10 elves by this point (well, 9 and the tree), which was not ideal. Still, what can you do? If you don’t get the armour breaks, you don’t get the armour breaks. The key is to plan well enough that you can succeed even with 0 removals. Easier said than done.

Having played lots of elves, I understood the importance of the anti-elf cage. I was fastidious in making sure every TZ around my ball carrier was covered with Guard every turn, so when the inevitable Strip Ball leap came (and came it did), it was at least a -2DB. Unluckily for me, it didn’t matter, and the ball plopped away regardless. Luckily for me, after it landed in an empty space (and after two more players were pushed onto it) it finally settled in the hands… of another ghoul.

I was able to remove both dancers through prodigious fouling and blocks, and was able to run it in turn 16. I did the standard anti-OTTD setup, which meant he had to attempt the OTTD by hitting mummies. As expected, it failed (though only just), granting me the victory.

RESULT: 2-1 WIN

GAME SIX: PETERD (Lizardmen)

If you’re going to play against Lizardmen, don’t play them on day two. On day one they only have a few block pieces. Pushovers. By day two they’re as mean as they get. Horrible creatures. PeterD is the entire opposite, a thoroughly charming German-born man who is both very talented and the game and a total delight to play against.

As you can guess, he had six block (you don’t say?), five skinks, kroxi and no apo (I likes it when dey sez dat last part)

I chose to receive. My logic is thus: When lizards get going, you get out of the way. They’re bigger than you, meaner than you, faster than you, and they’ve got more block. So, if I can get lucky and get some removals in the first half, I might be able to disrupt him enough in the second half.

I received, and made a tight cage, with the mummies up front (flanked by zombies and wights to stop any brave Saurus having a go at them). I was able to knock a Saurus down and gang foul it to a KO on turn one, which was very helpful. After some more grindy punching action, I was able to foul a second one to death (not death-death, but near enough). I got sent off, but I think it was a fair trade. I was marking most of his saurus by this point, but had squashed myself up too close to the sidelines. This meant it was getting harder to progress and to keep the ball safe… Thankfully Peter’s Krox was the stoopidest Krox in all of Nottingham, and must have failed at least 5 Bonehead rolls, which helped. Peter at one point did manage to knock the ball loose, but to do so he had to stand a saurus and a skink on the sidelines. I was able to surf them both, injuring the skink, then recover the ball, charging in for a TD on turn 8. He failed the KO roll, so was down to 4 saurus and 4 skinks in total (and Kroxy).

A flubbed one turner meant I was 1-0 in the second half. What began then was one of the most tactically enjoyable games of BB I’ve ever had. It was such a to-and-fro half, with his forming desperate screens only to retreat, with me chasing him and pinning him down, then him slipping past, for me to recover – it was so exciting! It’s exactly the sort of game you play for.

I was able to get the ball free after a second blitz on the BC, having consumed a total of two rerolls on it. It was in two TZs, so on turn 16 Peter needed the 5+ pickup, then the dodge, then the GFI to score. Nuffle said no, so I was then able to release the breath I’d been holding for 45 minutes and get the win. Apart from the final (which went into extra time!) we were the last game to finish… Oops.

RESULT 1-0 WIN

OVERALL RESULT – 3W 2D 1L – 38/191

Just about in the top 20%, so I’m happy with that. Undead are a fascinating team to play, they really do have a lot going for them, but can easily be pulled into pieces with a few good rolls and some good positioning. I’d definitely take them again.

At time of writing I’m still waiting for the NAF button to be pressed, so I don’t know if I managed to get them about 150… We will see, dear readers.

Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you all at the next NAFC!

We also talk other generic nonsense.

Also, bloodblusters, with guest questions again, this time from a model! Or was that the model obsessive? I can’t remember. Either way, it’s about models!

00:00 – Intro
TIME IS MEANINGLESS – Bloodblusters, then end

Vote now! Who is gonna win the ultra Halfling Battle Of The Ages:

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What could go wrong?

Episode Fifty-Eight: Pour One Out For SAWBBOWL

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PS – Brucie Bonus! Merrick’s done started a YouTube series – check out the first episode, featuring Twelfman, two 1500TV Halfling Teams and a whole lot of blood. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ne_rA9gUP-M&

Also, bloodblusters, with guest questons!

00:00 – Intro
10:00ish – LRB3 Part 2
1:18:40 – Bloodblusters, then end

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What could go wrong?

Episode Fifty-Seven: LRB3 – Part Two

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Also, the prodigal halfling fancier returns!

00:00 – Intro
13:06 – Yes
1:32:01 – Stuff, then end

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What could go wrong?

Episode Fifty-Six: LRB3 – Part One?

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00:00 – Intro
13:06 – Welsh Open
57:00 – Q&A session, then Bloodblusters

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What could go wrong?

Episode Fifty-Five: Questions?

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That’s right, we’re lifting the warpstone boulder and having a poke about with Underworld. We’re also looking at some chainsaw stars and the skaven stars we missed a while back.

We’re also talking Burmayhem, Elflympics, the new Undead team, oh all sorts really. Why not have a listen?

00:00 – Intro
Quite a while later – Outro

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What could go wrong?

Episode Fifty-Four: Spike Two – Return Of The Spike

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Although not much time has passed since publishing the episodes, many weeks have passed chronologically, so, yeah. That’s that.

We talk Eurobowl, Coffee Cup, oh, millions of tournaments. Far too many to list.

PS: We’re still doing our Indiegogo campaign. Not long left to grab a mini or some dice (or both! (Or all three!))

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/anything-but-a-one-dice–2/

00:00 – Intro
16:00 – Eurobowl and other Tournaments, but mostly Eurobowl
2:04:48 – Bloodblusters
2:21:54 – Outro

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What could go wrong?

Episode Fifty-Three: Eurob

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Oh! By the way… We’re running an indiegogo campaign RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND!

Take a look! https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/anything-but-a-one-dice–2/

00:00 – Intro
Some time later – Outro

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What could go wrong?

Episode Fifty-Two: Spike Two – Return Of The Spike

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Also, we’ve got some chatter about the new Dark Elves, their new star players and their pitch.

Also also, Bloodblusters! I’m hosting. Need I say more?

00:00 – Intro
16:25 – Dark Elves
1:27:51 – BloodBlusters
1:47:00 – World Cup Interview
2:29:30 – Outro

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What could go wrong?

Episode Fifty-One: Dorn To Birn Wild

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Well into middle age now, we’re definitely over the hill. That won’t stop us churning out quality content right into your head dishes, or my name isn’t Trumpkin. Wait, what were we talking about again? I forget.

00:00 – Intro
21:30 – Gert Bowl VIII
1:24:50 – Two-Up Cup
2:03:12 – Red Trophy
2:38:58 – Lutece
2:58:34 – Outro

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What could go wrong?

Episode Fifty: Fifty Shades of, er, Never Mind

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shudder

0:00 – Intro
5:48 – Auld World Masters IV
1:19:40 – Spike Magazine
2:38:58 – Outro

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https://twitch.tv/hawca_

No Bloodblusters this episode, but stay tuned on that front. It’ll be worth it…

What could go wrong?

Episode Forty-Nine: Open Spike Night

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Listen to find out!

We’re also talking SAWBBowl II, then we’re getting all down and dirty with the rulebook. Rules Lawyers, unite!

Oh, and a BloodBlusters quiz by Nazgob again, so impartiality and fairness abound.

0:02:38 Chaos Pact
1:10:34 Chaos Pact Stars
1:35:06 Rules Clarifications/Rules Lawyering
2:02:14 SAWBBowl
2:34:10 BloodBlusters
2:51:30 Outro

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Episode Forty-Eight: Get Your Pacts Straight

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