Aphrodite's Apprentice

Advanced Emotionally Driven Social Interactions

2014-03-09T22:03:00.001-04:00

OOOOOR.....MORE COMMONLY KNOWN AS RELATIONSHIPS

Every now and then you come across a relationship that sparkles, like most shiny new things that sparkle goes away under wear and tear. I gotta say, I absolutely LOATHE that feeling. I shall be transparent for a moment and open up my life. I have been in a relationship for 7 months now and it has been a test, good and bad. The assimilation of two personalities is always difficult, no matter how similar. Relationships can be so trying, why do outside factors weigh in? I often wonder why God allows for humans to have free choice in those we love. I know he knows it would make it easier if we were somehow spiritually bound from birth to our life partner, but nope, on the 5th day he said "LEARN TO LOVE".... Just my luck. In all of my 26 years of "infinite wisdom" it seems as though God has said so many things in one small breath when I've attempted to date.

Sigh..... I am struggling with myself in a relationship now, the older it gets the newer it gets (THE STRUUUUUUGGGGGGGLLLLLE). I mean I am pulling my hair out trying to be this idealistic mate, in which I am failing at might I add, because our foundation is rocky! HA! Imagine that a developer who has a rocky foundation in life, God and his irony😏! Ah, well... This post is coming from frustration. Every time I want to appreciate something in the relationship, I still suffer from wondering mind syndrome. Such a hard thing to cope with when you aren't exactly stable...

You know, I have a lot to say but no way to say it on the matter... It's so frustrating. GOD, if you can hear me, I'd truly enjoy a "freaky Friday" moment so that him and I understand each other!!! (I'm sure he is enjoying a laugh at my request right now).

Let me sleep on this and maybe I'll come back in a timely manner with a good story!

Madness 2/25/13

2013-02-25T20:38:00.001-05:00

Madness....
Is it a manifestation of time and thoughts?

Nah...

It's the outward expression of an inward confession....
Madness...

Of the heart the love letter written from beating tremors
Madness....

In the compilation of heartfelt palpitations, do you ever sit back and think...

Time passes, you blink
Time passes, you stare
Time passes, you reflect

Madness....
Is the feeling of not letting go... Of the twisted contortions of deflated reality, the need to draw back and find the illusion that the heart holds... On...

The mind is hostage to the infliction of suppressed emotions, hard pressed to escape it's capture
Madness....

Restoration of an ancient ideal brought on by the infliction of a thousand year old notion that I Am his rib, he is my protection....
Madness....

Prospects and vision 2/25/13

2013-02-25T19:19:00.001-05:00

Prospectively, I look at you...
You were a representation of an interpretation, my explanation...
Explanation to the very man I envisioned...
Another half of my conceptualized alpha and omega....
My heart strived to reconcile what had me in denial
I say... "I don't want this", but it's hard to (sigh)...
I MUST flee due to the emotions that over power me
I need to free myself of thoughts, that capture my heart

But what a sublime perspective we could have
If differences weren't the only thing you could grasp
Maybe God won't allow this union
This union of mind and soul
Without his approval it's out of my control
In this lifetime, at this moment, I want nothing more for this to be true

But for now mi amor, prospectively, I look at you

Letter to my EX (es)

2013-02-19T12:25:00.001-05:00

One day ill forgive you but not until recently have I notice the amount of damage you did emotionally, it's very hard for me to start a new relationship because of the cruel person you were. At one point you stripped me of the love and kindness that I had. I almost got to the point where I didn't know if I could trust again. I'm telling you this because this ends today. No more will I allow my past to interfere with my future! I need to get this out and as God as my witness I will never allow your demons to follow me again. I will love again, I will be in a healthy and well deserved relationship and I will no longer allow myself to succumb to the emotional abuse ur spirit still carries over me!

Sincerely,

Done

Celibacy My take (Retro Post)

2012-07-15T13:56:00.002-04:00

Celibacy- having or involving no sexual relations

I had a brief yet interesting conversation with a young man today about celibacy. He brought it to my attention that the issue with both men and women is their views of sex... (I SWEAR I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THIS SUBJECT). When I told him that I was celibate he responded with the mistake of saying "Oh you're another one of these females "claiming" to be celibate".. I could have smacked the mess out of him over the phone.

Of course I took a brief moment to educate him in his poor choice of words... idiot
I clearly explained to him that to me this is an experiment for the better. Through personal experience and stories told from family &; friends of all ages, that age old tale of waiting for sex seems to hold true. We have heard time and time again that if you give it up too soon, he won't respect you, he won't take the time to get to know you, and you won't form a positive relationship. As a woman I feel like we do this subconsciously and some of us consciously as leverage to reel him in and make him "love us" or think it will somehow seal a bond that was never formed.
Somehow this young whipper snapper didn't understand that concept *cough* man whore *cough*

He proceeded to continue with his adolescent remarks and say "You must not be able to have sex without attachments"... I SOOOOO WANTED TO JUST BLOW UP ON HIM... but instead I responded without getting mad... ignorance angers the shit outta me. So I calmly let him know that having emotional attachments during sex is a good thing! I swear we have gotten so content with using sex as recreation, that we completely forget that it's intended to for a more emotional connection. I mean what kind of sex seeking slut do you have to be to find it stupid to tie emotion with sex... Aye dios mio

Its just so hard to explain to some people these days that you are searching for a deeper connection with another person.

*A brief post I never got a chance to finish*

How does it feel? (retro post)

2012-07-15T13:51:00.004-04:00

When people say love doesn't have a limit do you believe them? Has anyone ever told you that they "loved you" but soon to find out their love was conditional... They tell you that they can't just be friends because they love you too much or because their feelings were too strong, do you ever just want to call their bluff? I find myself in some of the oddest circumstances and wanting to erase moments like this because of the outcome that follows.

Love is self-defining... what one person feels is TRUE love is not the same for another as much as we all would like to put love into a box and tie a pretty little bow around it we cant... It's a very abstract thing.

As I sat doing my hair today I was bored with t.v. and decided to watch Ghost Whisperer. In this particular episode there was an autistic couple, one of them happen to suffer a tragic death and before he crossed over he wanted to show his mate what love is.... this episode was touching in itself but I think it all clicked for me when the ghost turned to the main character and said... "What does love feel like?" I know what ya'll are thinking.. "Adrienne, you are just too emotional and over think it all", but really I just loved that question... (I reiterate LOVE IS ABSTRACT).

Now I pose this question to y'all... WHAT DOES LOVE FEEL LIKE? I'm not just talking any love, I'm referring to romantic love. Is it like what we see in the movies where love just hits you like a ton of bricks and cupid plays dart board with your ass? Nah, I doubt that's it! (Although it would be funny to see that in real life) Does love feel like those butterflies people describe when they get around someone they just utterly adore? Personally I cannot answer that... those butterflies make me want to chug some pepto (no lie).

Being that I cannot answer what it feels like for y'all I will try to run down my "experience" with love (brace yourselves this should be interesting).

Now let me just give y'all a little insight into the situation that just occurred about 30 minutes ago... *All names have been changed, except mine lol*

Mark: "I understand you have a man, but I dont care about that, I want my Adrienne back"
Me: "Your Adrienne? Ok Mark what does that even mean?"
Mark: "Remember the times when we werent arguing, we had so much fun together and I wont even talk about the sex"
Me: "Riiiiiiiiiiight... well friends is always a good thought"
Mark: "I dont want to be your friend, I cant be your friend... When I told you I loved you I meant it"
Me: "OH please... when you told me you loved me you tried to renig on it, so therefore making it null & void"
Mark: "Ok.. if that's how you feel, just know I meant what I said, you're free to believe what you want. I dont wanna be friends"
Me: "Then your friends is limited and selfish"

You see that crap right there... THIS IS WHAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH, stupidity!!

Personally I do not believe this mutha-sucka for crap... any man who ever loves me will NEVER tell me what he can't be if he really wanted me in his life. The fact that he cannot respect the fact that I have someone else in my life that I've chosen to be with is another sign that my heart is not in his best intrest... oooooh the signs of a selfish-lover! Even if I cannot define what love feels like I can tell you what it's not... and this it is not!

Exception to the rule

2012-07-15T13:43:00.001-04:00

Mars VS Venus, Men VS Women, Dogs VS. Cats... its all the same argument day in and day out. This on going battle between men and women and let me be the 1st to say I am tired of fighting. It only gets worse when its within your race. How often I am tired of men making comments about "Black women this, Black women that"! when on the flip-side men are so quick to let you know they are not YOUR past. This is all fine and dandy but honestly I'm tired of trying to be that exception to the stereotype for my counterparts. I love black men, I do, but I dont get it. When did it become only attractive to be a black women when we shut up get on our knees or lay on our backs. Give me the black man that looks at a black woman and his first thought is, what a Queen... not damn look at her ass!

Do not get me wrong, I love my sexuality, I embrace it, but THAT IS NOT WHO I AM... men do not look at me and see the value beyond my hips and breast and step to me with these preconceived notions that I am not worth the time of a conversation because all I will do is yell or roll my neck. *Someone please tell me you understand how irritating this is for me*

Men are constantly going on and on about how they want a woman who has more to her mind than to her body, but will stay going after that which is superficially beautiful. All that makeup and tight clothing cannot bring you someone who will love and care and cherish you until you're dying days. I for one am done dealing with that, a real man understands real beauty is from within and a real BLACK man understands that a real BLACK woman will bend over backwards and do for you as long as you treat her with respect and Godly love.

Love Always,
A. Noelle

Love? (Retro Post)

2012-07-15T13:36:00.004-04:00

Noun:

An intense feeling of deep affection: "their love for their country".

Verb:

Feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone): "do you love me?".

Noun:

A gentle feeling of fondness or liking.

Physical expressions of these feelings.

Synonyms:

love - fondness - attachment - liking

Falling in love is one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life and so far it's only be twice. Why is it hard? Because giving yourself to someone who isn't God is trusting them with a lot more then they may realize. When someone says "I love you", I wonder do they ever fully understand the responsibility that comes along with those 3 seemingly harmless words.

I'm sure I'm not alone in this but I find myself loving hard, which is why I've never been the person to fall in love with everyone I met to begin with... Story of my life is typically in relationships my happiness level is closer to 0 then it is to 10 and when reflecting back on these relationships it has typically been because the male counterpart was not serious about the relationship. I feel like I'm falling into that mold again. I know I haven't blogged in a really really long time but I feel like I wanted to publicly get this off my chest if not to solely help me but maybe someone is feeling the same way and can take comfort in the struggle of having to truly work to have a positive relationship that you feel was worth your time.

I cry often. The significant other in this case doesn't know this but I do, I cry about everyday because despite it all I truly feel alone. He finds himself frustrated with me because I try to convey to him my feelings but in true male fashion he doesn't understand. I feel like I'm often at the end of my rope, everyday is a new day and a new opportunity to make it a better relationship, but its really hard for me. I'm not in need of anything, but when I say I'm alone I dont feel that emotional attachment I once felt before. I feel a disconnect and I'm lost. In all of my "infinite" wisdom about my favorite subject I can never manage to rationalize and solve my own love problems. Its a tough pill to swallow when you're whole life is and what I perceive to be my God given purpose is LOVE. You begin to feel like a failure.

The one thing I've told myself forever is when you fall in love YOU GIVE YOUR ALL UNTIL YOU HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO GIVE.... NOTHING. My generation is full of those who are ready to give up and walk away or "on to the next" because they feel like people are disposable and feelings are irrelevant. That's never how I've felt and I'm glad to be old fashion. Now-a-days love is hard to come by... TRUE/LASTING LOVE so when you get it, you never want to let it go, but what do you do when you feel alone. It's hard to be confident in love when you're not confident in the relationship.

I don't know if it's just me, but I honestly feel like if the man finds his significant other truly worth it, he will make her feel like she is the most loved and beautiful thing that has crossed his path. I don't get that... I don't get anything. He tells me that he'd rather show it then say it, but thats never easy when you;re without. I don't know if its just me or I really am being foolish. I just wish there was a way I could wave a magic wand and fix everything and make it go back to the way it was when we first met, that was a feeling I'd never felt before and I'd rather never go away.

Sorry to burden anyone with the trials and tremors of my heart, but I needed an out and this came to mind.

Love always,

A. Noelle

Do I know what I want?!?

2012-03-25T17:19:00.001-04:00

Why is it that some men seem to think that women just want what they see in the movies. Is it possible that maybe we have our own minds, and our own opinions on love. I just recently had this conversation with a friend of mine about relationships. He asked me what is it that I want/need from man... I closed my eyes took a deep breath and just started typing from my heart...

I just wanted to get this quick thought off my chest, not knowing if anyone else feels like me. I feel like from the moment I discovered what romantic love is, its been the bane of my existence and my reason for being at the same time... (My life is an oxymoron)

These are the things I desire:

I want a guy who listens to me...even when i repeat myself, a guy who no matter how irrational or stupid im being is still there and has patience with me
a guy who is a protector... at the end of the day when the world is falling around me he is my safe house... I want someone who is my best friend.... all my inhibitions are gone when we are together and I am me 110%
I would like to find a guy who feels the same about me... we share the same views but can respect difference of opinions... he doesnt judge me he doesnt try to rule over me he loves me even when i cant seem to love myself

Love is My Ribcage

2011-05-18T01:49:00.004-04:00

"When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No... don't blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away..." Captain Corelli's Mandolin

I decided to come back with a bang... I know I've been gone for awhile and I wanted to reinvent myself... I had a moment of self discovery and realized that Relationships/Love/Matters of the heart, is my reason d'etre, i.e. My reason to be. My topics varied before and I sure hereafter they will do the same, but I really want to concentrate on l'amour!! I have now dubbed myself Aphrodite's Apprentice.. I feel like all that she is & represents is me... a fabulous goddess reincarnated... (yea I pumped my head up like that). So as my grand return I would like to address "what love is".... I decided to throw y'all a movie quote to get the flow started... and boy did it give a great visual of what love really is... Let's begin, shall we?

noun
1.
a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.2.
a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.3.
sexual passion or desire.

Although love is clearly defined in a dictionary, it's very rarely that simple in real life. There are some people out there that seem to just stumble upon love like a penny on the side of the road (Those people make me sick, sorry but they do lol)... But I'm not here to bash those who have found what deep down we are all looking for, someone to love and be loved by. Since love is what we are looking for... what is this raw emotion that leaves us feeling like we are either doped up on every drug imaginable or leaves us feeling physically sick and trumps every other emotion humanly possible?

Warning!! Religious Views Ahead. If you wish to skip this part please proceed to click the X. Thank you

If you are a Christian like me you believe in a sole creator, otherwise known as God. God created man & woman, according to Genesis God made Eve (the 1st woman) out of Adam's (the 1st man) rib. If you know anything about anatomy and the location of the ribcage, you know that it surrounds the vital organs such as your lungs and heart (Does anyone see where I'm going with this???). The ribcage is a core portion of the human skeleton because of its purpose and ability to protect. Now since the ribs protect the lungs which we need to breathe and the heart which pumps blood through our entire body, it is in my opinion that God chose this part of the body because he wanted to make man a match out of something that so simply personifies the feelings we have when we fall in love... i.e Woman= Love (yea I said it, just kidding). Seriously though, God created the emotions we feel and inorder to convey that emotion more clearly he made a match for his creation from his creation inorder to provide for that creation what He himself would.. unconditional security.

When you meet that special person the first thing you feel is that moment of breathtaking glee (LUNGS)... when you realize you have found love, you feel as though your HEART is bursting out of your chest or pumping so hard that you feel butterflies. The few times I've been in love, every moment I spent thinking of them this feeling of security washed over me to know that my heart was safe, my heart's protection, the very person I trusted my life and very being with... my RIB.

I don't know if for some of you this is a good explanation, but to me this is the best way to explain what love is... we all know that it goes deeper than that, but then I'd be writing a thesis instead of a blog (Am I right?!?) This question will probably be around for years to come with different views and explanations. Honestly no one can answer what love is like the tremors of your heart... but whatever has you feeling as if the world was yours, thank YOUR ribcage.

XOXO
A. Noelle

The Day I Fell in Love....

2011-02-27T01:26:00.000-05:00

How do you know when you've fallen in love? Is there some checklist that you mark off? Can you feel it like growing pains? Does it have a sound? A taste? A smell?

Have you met someone and something is just different about them? You go through the cliche "I cant stop thinking about them" moments... You find yourself smiling by yourself because you thought or saw something that reminded you of a time you spent with them? When you think of the time you have spent with them good or bad you cant help but be a kinder more gentle person because those thoughts make you warm inside? Yea, as mushy as it all sounds I think I'm experiencing these feelings all over again.

I've asked myself these questions over and over with every relationship that I've managed to tangle my emotions into.... With that said... I wonder if I can answer the questions I've asked because the future isn't in my grasp. I understand the love I have for my family & friends, but this love between two people that in God's divine plan makes you cross paths (in my case) at the most inopportune time....

As much as I'd like to avoid the thought of one day sharing myself with my "other half"... It's damn near inevitable. I watch tv, I listen to music, I flip through magazines and damn near EVERYTHING is pertaining to love and how to find it. To quote my best friend "I am in love and I hate it"

I dont even know if I can truthfully speak on it as much as I want to at the moment because the tremors of my heart are as unpredictable as the waves of the ocean. I feel like Im scared to let myself fully love because I dont want to get hurt, but who does? This is the moment of my life that I fear and look forward to all at the same time.... I think about it daily because I am and always will be a hopeless romantic (I blame disney whole-heartedly)! Everything I read, watch and chose to be in life pertains to that emotion that is more addictive than cocaine...

In the words of my fave Corinne Bailey Rae.... "Is this love, is this love, is this love... that I'm feeling?"... Stay tuned!

Collage of Existance

2011-02-26T01:03:00.000-05:00

Purpose
–noun

1. the reason for which something exists or is done, made, used, etc.

2. an intended or desired result; end; aim; goal.

3. determination; resoluteness.

4. the subject in hand; the point at issue.

5. practical result, effect, or advantage: to act to good purpose.

We all have a purpose, or atleast we are told we have one. What do you do when you feel like you can't find that purpose that is supposedly intended for you to fulfill? I struggle with that thought day to day. As much as I keep a poker face, on the inside I'm fighting an internal struggle because I know I have a greater mission... I have a passion, but when do I get the chance to show the world that Adrienne is somebody? If you can even remotley relate on some small scale to what I'm saying.... this blog is for YOU!

Life is the result of a well traveled journey, you only gain life when you have made your marks on your tapestry. These notches and imperfections make you who you are, they define you and ONLY you... but while you are treading along in the trials and tribulations of this grand masterpiece you find yourself asking... "What is my purpose?" If you have never asked yourself this question, on some small scale id have to wonder if you are human!!

Im not gonna lie, today I had a breakdown because at the age of 23 I feel like I should have it figured out by now (IM SO VERY WRONG). As I sat in my pool of self-pity and pessimism I realized that THIS moment right here... gets me NO WHERE! We all have our complications and our moments of defeat when whe are trying to find our way (this I realized when I replayed a convo I had with a friend of mine from work).
Personal example, I find my greatest joy in writing, giving advice through my writing and exposing myself to anyone who is willing to listen in hopes that my faults may help the next.... but how do I translate that into a career... something I can be proud of! I know I've found the answer to that issue because I want to be a therapist... I want to write my own column in damn near any publication I can get my hands on acutually, just so my voice can be heard! I love the love I receive when someone I've NEVER met tells me that they really enjoyed reading my positivity! It has got to be the most fulfilling feeling in the world.

I guess the point I'm trying to make through my self-absorbed rambling is that you're purpose is like the invisible wall you continue to run into, but because you cant see it you dont believe it's there! Trust me at some point you realize who you want to be and try to figure out what steps you need to take to make that happen for you... DO NOT.... I REPEAT... DO NOT settle for some mediocre complacent "goal" you have made for yourself. Go after your dreams (as cliche as that sounds) follow your heart... If I've never seemed more sincere this is the moment I ask you to listen to me. Playing it safe gets you nowhere but unhappy and resentful. God gave us this chance to touch the world from our hearts and imprint eachother's souls... don't miss your chance to be that beautiful fabric in the quilt of life that puts the bigger picture all together. We all have our indivdual talents that at some point and time we realize. Me, for instance, could not put into words the things I can write... thus I am so much better expressing any emotion through my writing. I have a friend who is utterly inspiring with his determination to be the best physical therapist ever... sure his steps may not be conventional but when you look at the bigger picture, they definately all make sense.

Purpose is the outcome of determination. You will find your purpose through the chances you take during your journey to be all that you can be (damn those navy commercials). I guess at the end of the day Im writing the entry more for myself than anyone else but I just have to get this off my chest... Whenever you have the finish line in your sight and life seems to want to push you 10 steps back, plant your feet firmly and realize you may stumble but will not be moved... you are always pushing forward and those "backwards steps" are just stepping stones on your way to the end!

Live. Love. Laugh

A. Noelle

Tattoo of my "Amour"

2010-11-29T18:46:00.000-05:00

So this past weekend I kept my word and received my first tattoo! It took me 4.5 years to find the perfect tattoo for myself and being that this is my first, it will probably mean the most to me!

My tattoo is 1/3 french & 2/3 latin..lol... trust me it was intentional... kinda like spanglish!
I thought I'd take the time to let ya'll in on my thought process...lol... I never try to be deep I just do what I like!

Now as you can see in the photo it reads "Amour Vincit Omnia".... traditional and correct latin would have it read "AMOR Vincit Omnia"... but like my personality I never do anything by tradition!

The phrase still means the same thing "Love Conquers All", but I kinda of wanted to play with the word love! When translated in french "amour" means Love, but more precise and to make this tattoo a little more personal it can also mean "an illicit love affair"... and no Im not condoning love affairs before anyone assumes that nonsense lol!!!

OK... the breakdown!
Now if you know me, you know I've been speaking french since 8th grade... so there are so many reasons I chose to spell it this way... and before anyone says "Why didn't you just get it in french?"... I like latin.. point blank.. its not dead and it reads beautifully, I wanted to mix the languages especially since french derived from latin... annnnnnd.... "Amour conquiert tous" isn't my favorite way of saying it either. LOL! Mais J'adore jamais mon francais!! Tous le jour!

Now back to the spelling... I have been through so much in my life journey and sure I will be through so much more, but one of my biggest struggles is in the matters of the heart! My issues don't just lie with trying to find a mate, but with love for my friends, family, and most importantly MYSELF.... so much so that its almost like this on and off again love affair. Illicit mean"forbidden by law" and sometimes thats exactly how I feel... true love feels damn near forbidden and hard to come by, but at the end of the day... LOVE CONQUERS ALL. Right when I think it's over, somehow/ someway love for life, myself, others & God overcomes my situation and I win the war.. no matter the "outcome".

Like I said, I dont try to be deep, lol its just a very personal tattoo and I thought Id let ya'll in on how I viewed my decision! It's funny how the difference 1 letter can make in a meaning and purpose! If you know nothing else, know who you are and what you want. Nothing means more than your voice and having the freedom to express yourself exactly like YOU want... the only standards that need to be met are your own!

Live. Laugh. Love
A. Bunny

"Use-y" Lover

2010-11-10T00:45:00.001-05:00

Have you ever just been content with what happens in your head and not cared too much what's going on with your reality?! That's exactly how I feel these days... I understand Im going through a growth period and a lot of people feel like Im extremely nonchalant about a lot of things, which isn't the case, I just feel more relaxed in my own head. I dont have any real issues or dilemmas going on now, Im going with the flow of life, but somehow some way some obstacles just pop their little heads up (like I'd never see that coming)... this month.. or couple of months it's been "boys" "men" whaaatever you want to call them... just sprouting up like little weeds. And along with these weeds come these feelings... what in the heck for?!?! I mean really, Im not so heartless of a soul that I dont care about anyone's feelings but honestly, NOW you want to come to me and tell me that you love me... or now you want to try again.. come on guys... I understand it's cold outside but I dont have stupid written on my forehead do I?!?! WILL IT EVER END!!! lol

Being used, why do we do it? We all have been used some way or another, but I really want to talk about how we do it to each other (meaning men/ women) like love is never going to be part of the equation... I wont try to say I've never done it because I have... am I proud of it? No... but I've done it nevertheless. I recently met this guy... wont go into too much detail because they might read this, anyways I met this guy and he was in a relationship and let's just say this "relationship" ended badly.. now he misses his significant other (they both made a mistake and 2 wrongs dont make a right) and well she won't take him back... not now at least... and he is feeling lonely or so he says... I know y'all see where Im going with this... He is basically looking for something warm to lay on top of... which is sad because at the end of the day, regardless if he let's anyone know upfront what his situation is... he has failed to realize that human emotions, dont give a DAMN what your situation is... and for anyone who puts themselves in that positon it is by choice, but 2 people hold responsibilities in situations like that and I'll never understand how we as humans can reconcile using others for emotional support or what have you, without reciprocating that feeling.

This post is brief and just something that was on my mind earlier... I just wanted to get this off my chest... until next time

Live. Love. Laugh
A. Noelle

Journey of her Reflection...

2010-11-08T00:11:00.001-05:00

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.... We all want it, we all deserve it, but do we all give it?

This blog is for my ladies. I've noticed that some of my generation of women are having a hard time learning to respect ourselves. Many of us, find ourselves letting other people define who we should see ourselves as... and I'm not just talkin men, I'm referring to our parents or what we see media-wise (I swear I stay comin' down on the media).

I feel for a lot of young girls out there because they are truly confused on who they are and find it cute to let people degrade them. We are so much more than that ladies! NEVER and I do mean NEVER let anyone tell you that you are anything less than God's gift to this world! You never have to lower your standards for a man, because if he REALLY LOVED YOU... he wouldn't ask anything of you, that you wouldn't ask of yourself. You do not have to listen to your friends or family tell you what you won't become, or who you have become. We are creatures of change, so never think what you are stuck in, is going to be the outcome for the rest of your life!

I'm not gonna beat this dead horse, so I will be as brief as I possibly can, but I feel like I just need to put this out there. Im so tired of walkin around seeing these beautiful women, inside and out, act foolish for attention, it's embarrassing and pointless. If I had a mirror to hold up to the world, NONE of us would even glance out our true reflections, but yet we are steadily trying to improve ourselves and meet someone else's standards. What right do any of us have to put a label or a name on someone who is doing the best they can to be who God intended? I do understand that men have their struggles and by no means am I saying they have it easy, but as a natural born woman I fully understand the pressures we as women have in ANY society to be the epitome of PERFECTION.

A guy I recently met said "Im glad Im a boy... women have it too hard, from y'alls hair, to makeup, to periods, to everything" lol I couldn't help but laugh because of the truth behind that simple statement. We do so much... myself included... and for what!?! Now I understand we all like to look pretty to OUR standards, but what about those instances when someone cuts you down when you have built up your own confidence... we feel horrible because we dont have social acceptance. (To hell with it!)

I am learning everyday to look myself straight in the mirror and to find 1 thing about myself that I love and stick with it, until I have learned to love everything about me, because I LOVE IT.. not because someone else told me it was beautiful... I wake up each morning and live and breathe for Adrienne and no one else... when I die my body will return to the earth and no one will be able to speak on my big thighs or big lips... none of this is relevant.

As far as degrading anyone, men or women, based solely upon the choices made in their life... Who Cares... honestly we are not defined by our "mistakes"... at the end of the day its what you do with the knowledge you have gained from that life's lesson. As much as I have a great disdain for strippers and their choice of career... I respect the woman who has the strength to leave that life and learn from it.... It's easy to stay complacent... only the strong at heart and will can step outside of their comfort zone with faith that a better/positive life awaits them.

All I'm saying while I stand on my soapbox is that everyone deserves the optimum level of respect... none of us are greater than the other... we all bleed the same.. breathe the same... our bank accounts don't matter... our education doesn't matter (unless used in a more positive way)... because at the end of the day our legacy in life is not based upon how many people we cut down or who we hurt in life... it's carried on by those we have touched and made a difference... And for every woman who has tried to make herself into something that she know's isn't right... DO NOT CHANGE FOR ANYONE... you know exactly who you are and who you want to be... be your own biggest fan, realize that those who really love you, will love you no matter what you do or who you become. We only have one life, do not spend it trying to be something for another, because chances are they will never be satisfied with their life focusing on someone else's.

Live. Laugh. Love
A. Bunny

Intuitive Patience

2010-10-09T21:05:00.002-04:00

Do any of y'all recognize these lyrics?

It's been three weeks since you've been looking for your friend
The one you let hit it and never called you again
'Member when he told you he was 'bout the Benjamins
You act like you ain't hear him then gave him a little trim...

This is Lauyrn Hill's Doo Wop...

Now unless you are a big fan of lyrics or really listen to the meaning behind the song, you miss the message... I love me some lauryn and the message to this song is one that is preached over and over but hardly ever heeded!

How many of us women had parents who would always tell us protect your bodies and make him fall in love with your mind? I'd bet more than are wiling to acknowledge, and if you didn't have the parents there was at least ONE positive influence in your life that warned you of the dangers of falling for the wrong guy... But in all honesty, where do we go wrong as women... where do we cross the line of innocence to rebel, because let's face it, the moment your hormones decide they want to take over your mind, boys cloud your thoughts and we ALL lose our damn minds, at one time or another. More importantly when do we realize that we must learn from our mistakes (mistakes aren't stupid they are a chance to learn and grow).

One of the most common mistakes I hear about whether it be on TV, from friends, or read in magazines, its the mistake of giving the most precious part of you up for what you believe is LOVE. I want to just touch on this love thing just to get to the root of the issue of why WE as women fall for wolves in sheep's clothing, and forget ourselves in the process.

Those lyrics I posted obviously speak about meeting a guy, and giving it up to him foolishly over and over again despite your beliefs... Most of the time we dont give it up unless feelings are involved. We as women are emotional creatures... you can try to dispute that all you want, but its fact. We were created to FEEL (and please dont ever let a man make you feel bad for feeling what HE wont)... women keep the emotional balance of this world, yes there are times when we operate without reason, but we are the backbone of all that is perceived as strong in this world, with that said, we are our own worse enemy in the matters of Love.

We let our hearts speak for our minds and become completely irrational. A word of advice... If you hear your heart speak and your mind is going in a different direction, it's not for you or vice versa... The secret to making the right decision is when your heart and head are in agreement... trust me, it makes choosing so much less difficult. If you know in your heart or head that something isn't right, and you do it anyways... how often do you become disappointed or have a feeling of being jilted, especially with a man? All the signs are there, his mouth isn't saying anything his heart doesn't feel if he's letting you know he doesn't want anything serious (YOU CANT CHANGE HIM), and yet we lead ourselves down this path repeatedly only to later feel scorned and put it on some other man...

The point of all of this is that we let our emotions get the better of us... Not only should we feel we should think and when the time is right, our whole body will be in agreeance and all of this nonsense of broken hearts should subside. He is out there... and with a lot of Prayer and a little women's intuition you will find him...

Live. Laugh. Love

Therapy...

2010-10-09T20:02:00.000-04:00

This post is just a little personal therapy for me... no advice... no lecture... just me opening up myself to y'all....

Life is a funny thing, we have all heard this countless times when we were younger but when do we actually learn the lessons that it has to teach us? At the age of 23 I feel like my life has been eventful enough to make a movie, but I've never felt my most challenged until now (sigh).

I am recently considered an ACOD (Adult Child of Divorce), yes there is a technical term for this NOT making it up y'all! I have learned so much about myself this past year! In January I prayed and said 2010 is gonna be my best year, like most of us do, and so far with 2 months left in the year, 2010 has been my BEST YEAR FOR LESSONS! As a recent college graduate I was so convinced that I'd graduate, get a job, and embark on MY life... as so many of my friends seemed to do, and so easily... but NOT me. I had the most difficulty finding a job, and actually still unemployed (Thanks Bush)! If anyone knows the strains of this recession, trust me I'm one of them, and on top of that my parents are filing for divorce after 24 years of marriage. Talk about a reality check.

The abridged version of what has happened to me in the past year and a half is basically my father left, he moved out, and has left my mother and I to live in this house, now the reasons for him leaving are pretty much self explanatory, adultery (I myself am certainly not an advocate for cheating past, present. or future)! Now while my father is still helping us out financially, once the divorce is final my mother will carry the burden of paying for this house and everything it comes with herself... my mother is only a nurse... IT WILL BE HARD (as if it isn't already)!

I've gone through so many emotional changes, anger being the biggest, since I've dealt with all of this... For the longest I felt like something was stolen for me... I would cry, scream, throw, and yell my rage out. Like children dealing with divorce I felt like it was my responsibility to fix it, and when I couldn't, I got angry. For a long time coming I have grown out of that feeling but I still hold some resentment. I understand that right now, at this point in my life, sacrifices have to be made. Trust me when I say, I envy others my age who have an active social life and a space of their own, because a lot I can't do, without funds I have to make do with what I have (its sucky) most of the time, I spend helping my mom out where I can and volunteering, just to keep busy.

I think all of this hit me hardest when I was in the hair store just shopping for detangler and I saw a hat that Ive been searching for, for awhile and looked at the price tag... $11.99... now to most people that's not a lot, but when you DONT have and you come to the realization of what you need versus what you want. I actually welcome these lessons, it builds character while strengthening my faith in God... I know my mother and I will make it through this, I'm not worried at all.... I just wish sometimes those around me would understand that this isn't something I choose and act accordingly.. I can no longer make choices like a child, I HAVE/ NEED to act like a Woman and accept my responsibilities in my life.

I'll leave you with this, be truly thankful for all that you have.... Until Next time

Live. Laugh. Love
A. Bunny

Who's Back?!?

2010-10-03T22:27:00.000-04:00

Bonjour, Hola, Ciao, & Konbanwa... In other words, Hello my loves! Oh how I've missed you all, and my daily rantings and ravings of how I perceive life! (I hope you have too!) Well I dont have any true reason as to why I was amiss, except for the fact that I've had severe writers block... But I have had a moment of pure inspiration! SOOOO basically Im saying... IM BACK! lol.. short sweet and to the point!

Positive Mondays

2010-09-20T14:24:00.001-04:00

Yea so my bestie forwarded an email I sent 2 years ago to me entitled "Life's Instruction Book"... So I figured why not share it with all of you... Welcome to Positive Mondays.. My contribution for starting your week off with a Positive outlook!! Enjoy!

1. Never slam a door in anger, It might be awhile before it opens again.

2. Remember that some things are urgent, others are important. Know the difference.

3. When giving a gift to someone who is ill, consider something they can use when they get well.

4. Remember that money can't buy happiness; it can only rent it for a while.

5. Believe in miracles but don't depend on them.

6. Say something positive as early as possible every day.

7. Own at least one article of clothing with Mickey Mouse on it.

8. Don't forget that we are ultimately judged by what we give, not what we get.

9. Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.

10. Pride makes us do things well. But it is love that makes us do them to perfection.

11. Advice is like kissing: it costs nothing and it's a pleasant thing to do.

12. If there were no one to watch them drive by, how many people would buy a Mercedes?

13. Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, doubling our joy and dividing our grief.

14. If you know a friend has had a bad day, take her out for coffee or maybe dinner.

15. The importance of fame, fortune, and all other things pales in comparison to the importance of positive personal relationships.

Somethin' kinda like...

2010-09-08T23:48:00.000-04:00

Tonight's blog isn't about advice or an explanation for life. Instead tonight I want to share a part of me with ya'll...Therapeutic explanation.. Now I hope when it's all said and done, I'm not transparent enough for some to understand what this is about (sorry guys) Here goes...

I noticed you how many years ago?
That day, my heart you stole...
Through growing and going into the motions of life...
I came to the distinct conclusion that one day I COULD be your wife...
I know I said I wasn't ready..
But somehow that thought is hardly steady...
You stay in the back of my mind like a dream repressed
I dont know if I should go here.... I digress
Built up inside of me like a nurtured fetus...
This feeling, I know as LOVE, is 9 months overdue
I just dont know how or when to tell you...
The confusion of my emotion is damn near explosive...
As my brain goes into contortions, trying to reconcile this sentiment...
I harbor an internal battle of what I NEED to what I want...
If God made the very reflection of me, I see it in the eyes that hold my gaze...
Astonishingly amazed... at what He gave... (sigh)
I wonder, am I running away from what is divinely mine...
Honestly.... It's YOU that I want to bide my eternal time...

My Bestie asked me if I wrote poetry, and I figured I'd share it, and I wrote this for y'all! Enjoy!

Hate on me Hata'!

2010-09-06T22:47:00.007-04:00

Hater (slang), a person who expresses intense feelings of hatred or spite, when the reason for this is perceived as unreasonable or spurious (deceitful nature).

Does that sound like some of you? Are you often called one of these? Do you repeatedly use this to describe people ? If so, this blog is for you!
[Disclaimer: ALL BELIEFS AND VIEWS ARE MINE AND MINE ALONE, IF YOU DO NOT AGREE, I PROMISE I DONT CARE, Thank you]

(Scenario A) Girl 1: Did you see her hair?
Girl 2: Yes it was so ugly, looks like a mistake!
Random Bystander: Why Ya'll HATIN' ? It looks great!

Does this scenario sound like your conversations or one you have overheard? I've heard this crap plenty of times about ANY possible thing known to mankind! "You're just a hater", "Stop hating", "Hi Hater"... these are all common phrases used to express someone's perceived disdain with a situation or thing. Notice I said PERCEIVED... perception is not everyone's reality, just yours! I have chosen to do this MUCH NEEDED blog to break down the science behind this phenomena! ALL "HATER'S" PLEASE BE WARNED...

Jealousy- adjective feeling of resentment against someone because of that person's rivalry, success or advantages.

Above I have defined hater and jealousy, why you ask? Well, Id like to show a clear distinction between both of these words. I think people commonly get these 2 mixed up.

Hating has been defined as an expression of intense spite, ex: "She aint cute, she always walkin around like she better than everyone!" translation: "She has more confidence than I ever will, and I hate that I cant free myself."
Jealously, is defined a feeling of resentment against someone's success... ex: "Just because he got that promotion, doesn't mean he deserves it" translation: "I clearly did just as much work as he did and it went unnoticed!"

If you cant see the distinction, let me point it out to you! The word INTENSE says it all! Everyone has a moment of jealousy, because we envy what others may have at that point in time, but that is not because we cannot get what they have, but rather because we have not gotten there yet. When defined as a hater, you are basically someone who cannot seemingly reconcile within themselves, that they are who they are, I am who I am, and we will never be anyone else.

Now, although hater is a slang word, it does hold some strong power behind it, where people do not understand how to use it PROPERLY! I walk around and hear people tell me that I am a "hater" because I don't necessarily agree with their beliefs or because I may voice my opinion (asked or not) about a situation. Now trust me when I say this.... BECAUSE I HAVE AN OPINION, that doesn't mean that 30 minutes to 5 hours from now, I'm still gonna care or even think about what it is that we discussed! Nevertheless, people are insistent on the notion that because you believe something you are a hater... FALSE! That folks is just having an opinion... I'm just an opinionated person all day long!

While having a conversation with a few people just to get an idea of where everyone's mind is at when it comes to this thing called "hating", I learned that MOST people really don't have haters, they just don't like opinons. As much as they fight it and say criticism is good, most people don't want to be told about themselves or have anyone a negative reaction to what they do. Let's face it we all love praise whether it is real or fake, so when that's challenged... the challenger is just a.... HATER! (I always laugh at those instances, because I have to wonder, do you really think I want to be you?)

People, people, people (shaking my head), please understand that only those who have low self-esteem are haters, I know this may come as a shock, but it's very true. If someone is classified as a "hater", they very much care about what you do, who you're with, and when something will go wrong for you, this is not jealously, this is to an extreme that almost is on the verge of what I feel to be a psychological disorder. Hater's ultimately become obsessed with how your life pans out, and cannot learn to be anything more but an audience to how you deal with day to day experiences. Haters are almost like the fans of an opposing team to a sport you enjoy watching... They are on the edge of their seats when something awful is about to happen, but until that moment, they talk trash all day long, just to throw you off your course!

I am so honest when I say this, if you see yourself as one of those "fans" you might want to seek therapy, because there is some deep seeded issue inside of you that has you thinking that you are not worthy of being your own audience and working on the faults you see in yourself to become a better person. Just let that marinate and think about it! So the next time you decide you want to call someone a "hater" make sure they are really on that level, if not, get out of this perception and realize that an opinion is an opinion and very rarely do you cross paths with someone who cares more about you than you do yourself... maybe that's why you think their hating, you are stuck on your issues and insecurities and want to displace those feelings on someone else. (Moment of silence)

I leave you with this... Whether it is jealously or hating, at the end of the day, it is you and you alone that you have to be accountable for, why not make that accountability add up to your God given worth.
* "You hate someone whom you really wish to love, but whom u cannot love. Perhaps he himself prevents you. That is a disguised form of love." - Sri Chinmoy*

Live. Laugh. Love
A. Bunny

Evil Influence!

2010-09-06T19:06:00.002-04:00

First of all.... Happy Labor day everyone, hope you are enjoying your family, friend's, and cookouts... Im back with my blogs after a brief intermission!
On to the business!!!.....

Oh how we are so easily influenced we dont realize what wrong from right anymore. The world has changed so much that I fear for our futures (seriously I do).

Earlier today my cousin, Jazz and I were having a conversation about media influences. She just so happened to be reading up on this mass murderer named Charles Manson. She so happened to see him on tv and took an interest into his craziness, from this she said "They should make a movie about this!" From there we went into brief debate mode. My conclusion... Not everyone's life story needs to be televised!

I wonder... how many people actually realize that there is an influence of evil out in the world (ok y'all just hear me out on this) I mean just look at all the movies hollywood is producing... Hardly any of them are about something just THAT positive, we got movies out actually titled DEVIL... like seriously am I the only that's noticing this trend.

I know someone is going to think I'm crazy for this, but If I dont say it, who will?!?! I know there is a direct correlation between the times and what we see (media influence) Look at the crime rate, the amount of deaths we have going on, and the look at the types of movies we are showing. Is there really any reason to question why WE are the way that we are? I know we are not born to be these inexplicably evil people (although I do have to worry about some of y'all), but I look around and there are these children that have no sense of right from wrong. Now dont get me wrong I know that the parents are responsible for about 80% of what their child is exposed to, but what about the other 10%... sad enough it just takes 1 person to corrupt you at a young age!

Im not gonna go on this rant about how we are becoming negatively influenced or anything like that (save that for another day)... I just wanted to speak out on what Im beginning to see out here. I just know that on this journey called life, Im going to keep steadfast on my Jesus and not stray into what's becoming the devil's playground. Will you do the same?!

Live. Laugh. Love
A. Bunny

Sextacy Lost

2010-09-02T20:02:00.001-04:00

S.E.X... Shared Enjoyment eXscape! (Well that's what it stands for, for me!)

Sex, how important is it really? I mean I hear people talk about sex all the time, myself included, but really I wonder how important is it that those of us who are not in committed MARRIED relationships experience this divine pleasure? Well let me throw a few stats at y'all...

A study done by Durex (you know the condom brand) in 2003 found that

People have sex on AVERAGE 127 times per year (THATS ALL?)
Eastern Europeans have us beat with 150 times (Ouch)
2 years prior the US was beating out everyone @ 121 times a year (Damn Rabbits)

So with a few stats under our belt we can all conclude that somehow sex is important to our lifestyles, but WHY?!?!

Well let me try to dig a bit deeper from my observations on both genders. Sex is seemingly something we do now-a-days because it's socially acceptable to be considered desirable. I mean let's face it times have changed and people need to find new ways to fit in, yes I said FIT IN. I mean some guys sole claim to fame is how many girls they have humped. Celebrities are not famous because of their talents, but because of their ability to open their legs and "Insert here-->>", and the act of adultery is running rampant ... Seriously its almost pathetic how sex has become so accepted that we think nothing of it when it passes off in commercials, cartoons, and even billboard ads... Here is a shocker... the average child is exposed to 40,000 mass media ads a year... now think how that's doubled for us adults, and on top of that nearly HALF of them are about body image and sex.

So is there much to wonder, when we find ourselves, thinking who is gonna be our next victim, or where we are gonna get our next "nut" off?

Now with all the information we have out there about sex, love, and rock-n-roll (sorry couldn't help myself... FOCUS ADRIENNE)... I digress... with all the info about sex and STDs aaaand pregnancy we still manage to be shocked.. SHOCKED I TELL YOU... when we experience these mishaps. Like seriously... don't be actin all surprised when the Dr. returns with that chart giving you the run down of what you got... or how many weeks your along... YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!!

It's like its engraved in our very fibers through evolution that SEX will forever be something we NEED to do, so if it's that important... why cant we wait? I know that everyone wants to experience a lil' pleasure (buy a ticket to Disney World)... but why not share it with that ONE, yes *gasp* ONE person that means the world to us? Come on, how many times do you hear a guy/girl talk about, I didn't mean for it to go this far, feelings are caught, and I dont want to be with them... YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT THE BEDROOM OUT OF THIS! Save it, we all get horny, we all get frisky, but self control is not some theory disproved by scientists... YOU CAN DO IT!

Now I am a recently practicing celibacy and people look at me like I got leprosy... Seriously Im so tired of hearing... "Girl, I just dont know how you gonna do it" or "You can venture that on your own" (like im trying to form a cult) I just found through my sexual experiences that this thing called SEX, just ain't that critical in the process of trying to form a real relationship with someone.. and the thought of casual sex just went straight out the door... I GOT B.O.B FOR THAT!! (Battery Operated Boyfriend).

Maybe I'm just a little new aged or old school now that I'm growing up, but I really am realizing that this thing parents/teachers/pastors taught so long ago had some substance behind it. Sex is an act of love, PERIOD... I cant experience this with someone who I dont love, or even have no intentions of trying to get to know. If im giving you a part of me, you need to expect my heart to follow, dont look at me funny when I want to say "I love you" so many months down the road.

So again, I ask, why is sex so important.... God allowed us to share this gift of our mind, body, and soul and we treat it like its some trip to McDonalds.... Sex will forever be important, its how we repopulate, its how we imprint ourselves on one another, its how we express the greatest form of Love between to people. Sex is great, sex should be had, but sex should NOT be significant only when its done to sell music, movies, magazines, etc...

I am on my soapbox for only one reason, because I understand our generation is allowing that which is good to be corrupted. I understand that you will do what you want, when you want, and how you want, but understand this... while you are giving yourself up to him, her, and them, ask yourself, "what will I have left when that that 1 comes along"... will it be important then?

Live. Laugh. Love
A. Bunny

Rainy Day Bliss

2010-09-02T18:50:00.001-04:00

When do you feel your most relaxed? Are you the type of person that enjoys being alone or in a big crowd of people? Does a sunny day lift your spirits or do you prefer the calming rain outside the window?

I just wanted to blog about being in an utter state of relaxation. The most inspiring time to curl up with my Macbook and express myself is on a cool rainy day (I belong in Chicago). Today has got to be one of the most relaxing days I've had in awhile. It has been gray and cloudy skies, and for whatever reason, it just helps me get in a great mood (backwards I know). This is definitely not one of those entries that's gonna be about anything important. I just wanted to share the simple things in life that make you feel completely blessed.

A drop of rain on the face during a hot day
A cool breeze
Simple laughs shared with friends & family

Maybe this post will inspire me to later do one on how to combat stress... I know we all have it! Ok people Now that my introduction to my relaxed day is out of the way... ON TO THE GOOD STUFF!! LOL

Good Men ARENT that hard to find!

2010-09-01T23:27:00.000-04:00

Book By Aaron Anwar Smith

So during my own little research project, I came across this article entitled "Memo to Black Women: Get Real" . It was a brief little article addressing how we as black women have high standards when we look in a mate, and undoubtedly I agree. Now ladies don't attack me on this one, but I'm just being as honest as I can be, when I say, WE NEED TO GET OVER OURSELVES. I know our struggle, I know we are a double negative (woman and black), but please do not feel like because we overcome these said obstacles we have to put down the brothers that are doing what needs to be done to MAKE IT!

Yea we all want a good man, but does it mean they have to be rich? Do they have to be gorgeous? Do they have to be everything we see in movies or on tv? For every 5 sorry men I meet, I know there is at least 1 GREAT man out there. We are so busy looking in ALL the wrong places that you may not notice that extremely polite brutha in the baking aisle, or that eccentric guy attempting to make conversation with you in line at Banana Republic.

Stop letting your girls convince you out of a great catch, sadly we as women are jealous and it's hard for us to truly be happy for people unless they are our TRUE friends. If you have found a man, and he treats you with all the respect in the world, loves you unconditionally, and you feel like his Nubian Queen... then why are you listening to your girls attack him the MOMENT he messes up? We have to do better, honestly.

Ladies this entry is not to say lower your standards for the man who lives with his mother and isn't trying to make something out of his life, because he is content with THAT woman in his life letting him get by. I'm saying stop comparing them to what you have NEVER had... Yes I mean never! Throw the lists out the window, stop going by statistics... and just go with what your heart says. If he doesn't look like Denzel, then oh well... does he touch your heart?! Ok then... dont be so superficial, even if the initial attraction isn't there physically, if you feel a connection, GO WITH IT! Dont miss out on something because you are stuck up on looks.

RANT AHEAD:

Stop looking for a man with pockets the size of Jay-Z, honestly if I hear one more woman talk about I need a man who can take care of me, I think imma flip! TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, and a man will come to you! What makes you think a man is gonna want to deal with a woman who cant put effort into herself enough to be someone on her own? I truly get aggravated with women and their "NEED MONEY" ideas... YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPY. I feel like I've heard this said over and over... I saw a girl on twitter a month ago post a video talking about "my man takes care of me, I dont need to work" UGH STOP!! (Had to get it out)... Is this what we have become? Helpless? You have 2 extremes as women, either you are Ms. Independent or Ms. Dependent... there is no median... Ladies hear me when I say this... Let go of those beliefs, Do for you and drop the $$ in your eyes!

Now, let me hit some of y'all with this educated man ideals... I am an educated woman with a degree... and I too fell under that, "My man better have a degree to get with me" idea... Let's pretend for a moment that you meet a guy, and he is EVERYTHING, but college educated... are you gonna leave him because he cant give you a penthouse in New York, or buy you everything you ask for off of Rodeo Dr.? I'd honestly hope not, these days college educated men ain't all gonna be making 7 figures or more... Im just saying! So again I m saying to you... JUST FALL IN LOVE! Hear your heart and follow it!

Now Im not a dating guru, because I havent found that diamond in the rough myself. But when I see my friends with a man who is truly worth their time, it pains me when they let him go for some superficial notion! Find me a man who can capture your heart, and I'll find you a woman who has found a life of happiness, trust me!

Live. Laugh. Love
A. Bunny