AppCreatorBlog

The legend of Big Head (Adobe's secret weapon)

2010-04-29T17:55:00.000-07:00

Creating a game for the iPhone, Android or Facebook takes a good idea as well as some software knowledge to pull off your project. Most of it happens for me using the Adobe Creative Suite, that being Illustrator, PhotoShop, Flash and After Effects. Many years ago while completing a fairly intense project for TV, my friend Dave Richmond and I constantly needed answers to meet our deadline. Our questions were answered by reading the Adobe After Effects classroom in a book or experimenting. It seemed like they thought of everything, but how? We concluded Adobe employs a genius with a giant swollen cranium called "Big Head". He is paid to think of everything. When he gets an idea his head swells to gigantic proportion with relief provided only by rapid code writing.

Big Head runs on a concoction made of Red Bull, Mountain Dew and Snickers Bars blended with organic digital information and Clearasil. He sips this hi-tech smoothie through a hollowed out Slim-Jim processed meat silly straw. Dessert is low calorie as not to gain weight or raise cholesterol. Usually he has a Tic-Tac, Pez or piece of diet gum.

His spine is the shape of a question mark, haircut designed with a teriyaki bowl and hedge clippers. Big Head's only exercise is thumb twiddling in-between renders, playing video games and bending for Twinkies dropped from the employee vending machine. In school he was in Math Club and played tuba in the band. Bullies still take his lunch money even to this day.

The only reason he leaves his desk is to refuel or eliminate dragging the ball and chain that tethers him to his work station. No one has ever seen his face. They say he wears 1" inch thick rimless glasses and a standard issued lab coat. Recently he has developed a tanning program to fake the appearance of having an outside life.

Don't confuse big head with tech support, he is much bigger than that. His side gig is approving knowledge posted on Wikipedia. He speaks multiple languages. Unix, C++, Actionscript 3.0, Java and Linux as well as enough Spanish to order an enchilada at his localTaco Bell. All in all he is a digital version of the most interesting man in the world… minus the interesting.

He wears a bluetooth headset, but he never talks to anyone on his iPhone. His intellect doesn't allow for audio conversations. You could describe him as a digital slave. The key to his ball and chain hangs on the wall in front of him, yet he chooses not to use it.

Thanks to Big Head I have the tools to create my animations resulting in the soon to be released "Corporate Bull game. It started in a sketchbook, took shape using Illustrator and PhotoShop, then animated in Flash.

The new CS5 is unbelievable. The innovations are mind blowing. For Big Head that is a bunch of brains flying across the room.

New business card

2010-04-26T12:50:00.000-07:00

I was in Irvine and visited the App Store for my first meet and greet with an iPad. Interesting to hold. It is exactly as described, somewhere between an iPhone and a laptop. I put Smackum! on one of the test iPads and gave it a play. In regular mode it is better to play with your index finger instead of your thumbs. If you had huge hands it would work, but Smackum! is better on the iPhone. I gave out some of my cards and got some of the employees to download the lite version. One thing I am finding out is that everybody wants it for free.

We watched a great film called, "Boardheads" and had lunch with some friends. Meeting some new folks I realized that I didn't like my business card. It doesn't reflect what I am doing now. I drew a caricature of myself and used a futuristic background that I created years ago. I went back and created a futuristic vehicle as well.

I had just printed my cards with VistaPrint.com. I started t order my new cards through them as well. Two colors/two sides. They charge for everything. 5.99 per design per side (just for the upload) It came out to almost $60 for 250 cards. I wanted to use .eps files for clarity and not pay through the nose. I tried a number of sites but settled on GotPrint.com. 250 two-side color cards delivered for $22 bucks.

Old School App Marketing

2010-04-15T16:16:00.000-07:00

I have decided to go old school and ask people to try my app one by one. I have designed a simple card that I have shopped around for printing. Online is definitely the way to go. My experiment will start with 500 cards. That will set me back about $25. I think I will use Vista print. What they do is basically give the cards away then kill you on the shipping.

Apple announces iAds to promote new apps for the iPhone, iPod Touch and iPad

2010-04-09T07:25:00.000-07:00

In the old days when you released your app you were featured in the "New and Noteworthy" section of the App Store. People would create an app, then re-release with new versions to be found and continue getting exposure. I was under the impression I would be featured for a week releasing the Paid and Lite versions concurrently. This is no longer the case.

Apple just announced iAds. They will be part of iPhone OS4. They have figured out a way to do interactive content that will play without leaving the app. Apple will give developers 60 percent. This is an interesting way to get the word out about a new app. Expanding the App Store or allowing others to create mini stores was what I thought they would do. This way would create more revenue for Apple than just expanding the store. Hopefully that will happen soon.

Apple also just announced that approval times will be shown to developers on iTunes Connect so they will know how long to wait for approval. Supposedly 96 percent get approved within 14 days. That sounds about right these days. Multitasking will also be added making the iPhone more user friendy.

I am interested in hearing more about iAds. Promotion is a huge issue that is stifling developers up to this point.

iPhone App release date strategy

2010-03-30T22:29:00.000-07:00

Smackum! is designed to work with the iPhone. The action of playing is similar to a Wii, you throw your hands when you are truly engaged. If I want to make it work on an iPad it would take some adjustments and it really wouldn't work very well because it is a thumb dependent game.

From a marketing perspective I wanted to take advantage of this Saturday's iPad release, but I have been talked out of it by Olga. I have an approved free and lite version. With that comes 3 days each in the "New and Noteworthy" section of the App Store. Monday I will release the paid version, Friday I will release the lite version giving me almost a week of Apple exposure. I will combine that with Apalon's App Review campaign combined with an mPlayit Facebook blitz.

I am hoping that momentum will carry over way past the initial release.

Smackum! full version is approved

2010-03-23T21:03:00.000-07:00

After nearly a year in development and 4 rejections, Smackum! is approved for sale by Apple. It feels good to finish. It's kind of like limping up to the 26 1/2 mile line in a marathon and everybody's gone home. But YOU know you finished. What is good is that the market has matured a few times over the past year. The app market no longer supports farting, sex or efforts to flood the market with sub-standard boring material. I will be featured at a good time, right at the beginning of the first iPad release. I hope people like playing it.

Why did I get approved?…because I played Apple's game. It was apparent that Apple as a company is going PC. Smackum! now fits within their parameters. So, from what I have learned, is that it is OK to hit a guy standing behind a podium, but it is not OK if he is sitting behind a desk. If you want to beat someone's ass at work, do it for real. You are not allowed to fake it on an iPhone.

What is unique about Smackum is that it draws you in, As you get going, the action of throwing punches becomes somewhat addictive as well as frustrating when you lose. This is definitely an active game compared to some mundane apps out there in the mobile space. I believe the free version will serve as a good marketing device.

I am going to go see the Dodgers play in Arizona. My Smackum! season will start April 3rd.

Nuns, rulers, iPhone apps and porngraphy

2010-03-16T18:23:00.000-07:00

A side thought I just had was 8th grade. That is when I got serious about cartooning. This was St. Timothy's grammar school, 1972. 35 students in my class. We were in the CIF sports league and competed against other schools. I played shortstop in a game and made some amazing diving plays. I hit home runs and we won the game. After the next practice I was attacked by all the class at the park. As I was held down they flushed my mitt in the girl's toilet. Up stepped Maureen LaVette who had long blonde hair and was very popular. She grabbed a softball and threw it hitting my nuts as all her friends laughed.

The next morning, all the girls came dressed 50's. Red lipstick, hair in ponytails, plaid skirts saddle shoes with rolled up socks. They winked at me as they pranced in. I was simmering and my balls hurt.

Our teacher was Sister Eileen, an 83 year-old nun who fell asleep a lot in class and had no sense of humor. We called her, "The Nun". My aching balls contacted my artistic brain and started working. I quickly drew a picture of a very wrinkled nun pointing her crooked finger at a 50's dressed Maureen. The caption was. "young lady, you look uglier than I did when I was your age!". I passed it around. People were busting up as it worked it's way around the room. Kind of like a prehistoric YouTube video. I was feeling redemption. Then it got to Robert Dornan. Son of Senator Robert Dornan who is best buds with Rush Limbaugh. He grabbed the drawing and started laughing obnoxiously loud. The nun told him to shut up. He wouldn't. She asks, "what's so funny? He hands her the cartoon and busts up laughing.

The nun asks, "who drew this piece of pornography?" There are 35 kids in the class and one can draw. I think I even signed it. I held up my hand hoping she wasn't reaching for the yard stick. She yelled at me for about five minutes and suspended me for two days. Maureen LaVette became a light weight porn actress a number of years later. I saw her boobies on cable in the 90's.

So the porn theme pops up again 40 years later. Damn, this sucks! Apple is treating me like an old nun but unlike sister Eileen they used the ruler. I am being spanked.

"Dotcom" Turns 25: My Predictions for What Comes Next

2010-03-16T14:02:00.001-07:00

I believe in the future there will be no need for desktop computers. We will have contact lenses that serve as screen and dish. Shows and information can be sent directly to the brain. Our gray matter will serve as a Tivo device.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Smackum! available on the iPad

2010-03-12T16:24:00.000-08:00

Smackum! is almost done. The game has been completely changed since being "Beat the Boss". Now when you look at it, it is more fun looking. Arcadish. The business has completely been removed. That being said, the game is still the same, the theme is just different. Once you get going even I don't notice the changes. From a marketing perspective it was a nightmare. It's like setting up your store to sell Halloween costumes then they tell you it's Christmas. Mad scramble. Luckily, before making the theme change, the game play improvements saved the day.

From a visual perspective, it still needs a little tweaking. The new podium looks a little stepped in gradient and the game is freezing on slow. That was never a problem previous to the latest changes. It shouldn't be too hard to fix. I am expecting to re-submit next week and get a quick approval.

What is interesting is that since I started this app (3) new Apple devices have been introduced. When I started there was the 3G and iPod Touch. People will play Smackum! on a 3GS, iPod Touch and now an iPad. The delays may work in my favor. There are millions more devices available.

In a few weeks, the iPad will be introduced. Just like a kid, I am looking past Smackum! at my next project. I'm doing a board game for the iPad. More on that at a later date.

They Live!

2010-03-06T22:05:00.000-08:00

My original idea was to sell iPhone holding employees and ex-employees a game where they could take out their anger on a cartoon Boss character. Apple is now PG rated and won't condone office violence. Tough toenails for developers. Three rejections so far. Over 6 months of planning and research literally tossed out the window.

During this process, one of my favorite movies came on TV. "They Live" starring Rowdy Roddy Piper. Dealing with Apple is a similar situation. If you wear special glasses you see that Steve Jobs is from another planet. Consume, Obey. Good movie. I actually spent an evening at a party with Meg Foster many years ago, but she didn't try to kill me) Back to the app.

I had many innovations planned for the game that need to be edited out. The Yak is one item. If you knocked too hard on the door the Boss would be gone and this Yak would be standing there. It's a long story. The Yak will be put out to pasture. Yet another reminder that what I had planned didn't even come close to happening.

What is good is that I spent a lot of time on game play prior to the name change. The office theme became secondary to the goal of knocking the Mofo out. So no more Yak. Maybe there will be a future use. I like the character.

Professionals make it look easy when they use smooth transitions

2010-03-03T12:01:00.000-08:00

I have been in a bit of a pickle. Apple keeps rejecting my app because they consider a game where you punch a guy in the nose at work pornography. They are re-inventing themselves as a wholesome company…unless you are Playboy. I would not consider app creation a level playing field. With Apple, the game and rules evolve as the day is long. You have to be able to roll with the changes and figure out how to fit. In Apple's new angelic stance I created work-porn.

Being an artist, I have always observed the poetry in motion of a professional move. That is originally what triggered my eye to draw.

During my early twenties I was a smooth fielding shortstop. I have spent some time on the field, dojo, golf course and water. All the sports I participated in required a smooth transition move. Good footwork, hand eye combined with speed power and grace. What is really cool is when you can do your move even when the conditions aren't perfect and the speed is increased. If you can transition smooth even when it hurts, you look like a pro. Watch Kobe. Which is exactly what his defenders do. His transitions are so smooth the refs become fans and the fans forget transgressions.

Baryshnikov, Michelle Kwan, Greg Louganis, Roger Federer, Kevin Durant, Alex Rodriguez, Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Shaun White, Bode Miller, Drew Brees, Robert DeNiro, Snoop Dog, Carlos Santana, Bill Clinton, Usher all transition smooth in the clutch.

In business, the same things happen. That is why ESPN is on all day long and sports analogies rule the airwaves. Because it is the same. You have to practice and fail so many times you want to quit but you don't. The clock is running and it's not turning out to be a routine game. Now what do you do?..panic? Throw your hands the air and run though a brick wall leaving your silhouette? Point your finger at others and blame? Look at the skies and beg for mercy? What do I do?

If you were a quarterback you would have just been sacked. Shanked drive, belly-flop, foot fault, strike three. You get the picture, if you take too long to think about it your transitions are stiff. Professionals are different because their transitions are smooth on the fly. Half the people in America agree with Obama because he can complete a sentence and start a new one. "Dancing with the Stars" is all about the transition.

I had to make a decision today to delay for two months or figure a way to make it in a week. Without thinking too hard I decided to find a way to use existing assets and toss redesigning the character. This needs to be done quickly yet not ruin the game. If the Boss stays the same and I remove the desk he is floating in space. He needs an object in front of him. I don't want him to appear to be a politician, I believe that would get me rejected as well. I am going with a stylized blue metallic podium. Actually, I think it looks good.

When I played ball, at times I would be making near impossible plays in sweet fashion. I am trying to do that now.

How to make wireless headphones using an iPod Shuffle and velcro

2010-03-02T15:39:00.000-08:00

http://bit.ly/awdsVL

If you jog or ride a bike these days, most people listen to music. The arm bands that hold iPods work fine, but the wire running from the device to your head can get hung up on a door knob and hook you like a fish.

My knees suck so I ride bikes rather than run. I wear a head rag, helmet, glasses and headphones. When you plug in from the bicep it is cool, but I prefer to be wireless. Using an old iPod shuffle (e-Bay $25), behind-the-ear headphones (Walmart $15) and one piece of velcro you can do it.

I don't want to look like some guy wrapping a radio to my head with rubber bands. This method does not look geeky, it is barely noticeable under your helmet. You have access to forward music, or take off the whole unit without getting hung up.

Here is a video showing exactly what to do.

Top 20 iPhone App Review site list - from AppCreatorBlog.com

2010-02-26T18:26:00.000-08:00

After you finish your app, the review sites push your message to the iPhone / iPod Touch audience. There are a number of popular sites these days. It's a hard to tell who is the absolute authority. Some reviewers do huge numbers, others are just one guy with an over the shoulder camera playing the game like Crazy Mike. You can do the work yourself or take out the guesswork and hire a PR company like Apalon. mPlayit is a little different. They specialize in iPhone marketing using FaceBook. Here is a list of some of my favorite app reviewers of the moment:

148apps - http://www.148apps.com/
AppGamer - http://appgamer.net/home/
AppTheater - http://www.apptheater.com/
AppCraver - http://www.appcraver.com/
AppleiPhoneSchool - http://www.appleiphoneschool.com/
AppRater - http://www.apprater.com/
AppSafari - http://www.appsafari.com/
AppShopper - http://appshopper.com/
AppStoreHQ - http://www.appstorehq.com/
Apptism - http://www.apptism.com/
AppVee - http://www.appvee.com/
Crazy Mike's Apps - http://crazymikesapps.com/
Daily App Show - http://dailyappshow.com/
FreshApps - http://www.freshapps.com/
iPhoneAlley - http://www.iphonealley.com/
iPhone Application List - http://iphoneapplicationlist.com/apps/
The Loop - http://www.loopinsight.com/
mPlayit - http://mpowerplayer.com/

An iPhone battery replacement goes wrong

2010-02-23T08:15:00.000-08:00

http://bit.ly/ccYEom

After attempting to replace my iPhone battery using YouTube videos as a guide, I decided to make a "how to" video of my own. I wanted to prove to people just how easy it is to disassemble an iPhone and replace the battery. Piece of cake.

Producing the video didn't start pretty. I had to dig the old parts out of the trash and re-create the process using my Flip video camera and a tripod. We staged the event in David's living room and garage. We didn't write any script, we just went for it. The goal was 2-minutes, it actually ended up being three. Overall we recorded about 1/2 an hour of iPhone abuse. We used huge bottles of Captain Morgan's Rum, Bombay Dry Gin and Maker's Mark whiskey to emphasize the point. We didn't actually drink THAT much, but it looked funny. We were laughing so hard while making this we almost pissed our pants.

Being that we had already tried to do this once, being able to just beat the crap out of the thing was worth the price of admission. The whole project happened in abut 24 hours. We recorded Sunday afternoon, I edited the piece immediately using Final Cut Express. I contemplated making a voice-over, but after assembling clips it carried the story on it's own. I added the text and picked a song that I created 5 years ago in SoundTrack originally done for a Saddam Hussein cartoon. It is titled, "A-Hole". That is why you will hear, "please, oh please don't hurt me!" with a goofy accent.

When you really look at it, to replace the battery, you have to take out about 25 items and put them back perfectly. Good luck. If your iPhone gets messed up go to the store and get a new one. I am still waiting on Apple to approve my new app after 4 rejections. The therapy for me was a release of battery stress and Apple angst. Anything that can make you laugh that hard has got to be good for you.

Pins and needles waiting for an iPad?

2010-02-22T15:10:00.000-08:00

I was talking with a friend about his gadget addicted girlfriend. She is on pins and needles waiting for her chance to buy an iPad. My first thought was, "sucka", but that's not nice. I know Steve Jobs wants us to pass it around, but I am trying to figure out when I would use it. I have many choices for input. Silence, satellite, newspaper, television, office desktop, laptop or iPhone. Where do I fit an iPad that doesn't do Flash? I don't know.

Pre-digital I used pencil, pen & ink, water color and airbrush. I collected thousands of pencils and pens. I bought markers, pads, inks etc etc. Generally I would gravitate to the same comfortable combination. I would use a ton of black ink, .09 lead and a bunch of blue airbrush paint. I tried adding all kinds of stuff but I had a comfort point.

I haven't painted for years. I made a collage that hangs in my living room from the tools I used before buying a Mac many years ago. My next wall hanging will be made from old cellphones and spare computer parts.

I believe the iPad will not be a major player in it's present form. I am finding that my personal use at this time is desktop and iPhone. The laptop awaits my instructions similar to my GPS, rarely used but appreciated. I just lent it to my buddy who has the gadget girlfriend. You'd think she'd fix him up with a new iPad.

Pants on the Ground - naked without a cellphone

2010-02-17T07:22:00.000-08:00

In 2010, when you leave the house, typically you grab your wallet, keys, glasses and cell phone. If you are missing one of these items you could find yourself locked out, broke, blind or speechless.

I recently broke my iPhone beyond repair and am out of warranty. I have no cellphone…woe is me. I'll have to live like it is 1992…no electonic leash. The weird part is I am liking it. In 1992, when you left the house you made sure you had your wallet and your keys. Squinting was fine. You would call people when you got back. It was a simpler life.

I know a cellphone is great, I wanted one before they invented them. As a kid, one of my favorite gifts for Christmas was a set of walkie-talkies. My best friend Scott and I would walk up the street saying "where are you?" blah, blah, blah. Sound familiar. The weird part about the cellphone, PC social media / mobile life is that it turns everybody into a reporter. Kind of like your own personal Vin Scully. Instead of living a life, you report it.

When you have no cellphone you are not responsible to stay in touch. No calls, texts, tweets, e-mails, games or news. What you notice is how many people are walking around with their heads down. Advertising should be on the top of hats. People don't have to make eye contact because they are on a call. While your head is down searching the web for a date, five hotties walk by and miss your charming technical personality.

While riding my bike I can't tell you how many people walk off the curb without looking, distracted with their cellphones. This isn't an old, "pants on the ground" rant. This just came up while my phone was down, not my pants. Today, when I get in my car I am not worried about the bluetooth connection, how will I dial while looking up, who will talk to me while I fight the traffic, will the cop see me holding the phone.. etc etc.

Today, I leave the house feeling like big brother is not in my pocket. Kind of like running naked. Look at me, look at me…I'm phoneless! Woohoo!

Take a day or two and leave your phone in the drawer. It will beckon you like a bony finger.

Resist.

iPhone 3G Battery Replacement - like playing "Operation"

2010-02-16T10:26:00.000-08:00

In my previous post I describe what happened when I used the Sleep Cycle iPhone app. I am a tinkerer, I have worked on bicycles and wrenched for most of my life. I discussed the process with my buddy David and we planned to crack open my phone and replace the battery. There are a ton of YouTube videos showing the process step by step. We would follow.

It's one thing watching someone else crack open their phone, but when it's yours it's an interesting unsettling feeling. But being that my phone is already screwed up, you have nothing to lose except the additional $20 battery and a few hours, I'm moving forward, but actually the cost is much higher. I will lose eyesight, dexterity, numerous screws, not to mention the iPhone itself and the screws in my mind.

The first part is easy. A paper clip pops out your SIM card, then two screws gets you inside. That's where the easy part stops. The video shows stuff dropping out that was absolutely stuck on MY phone. One of the first things you will notice is this shit is SMALL! I mean REALLY small! Pardon my French, but for the average guy you have NO CHANCE, I repeat NO CHANCE of pulling off taking an iPhone apart and putting back together. David was offering me $200 to stop halfway through. That cash would almost buy a new iPhone with 2 year plan. My curiosity won, we kept turning screws.

They give you little magnified screw drivers and a prying tool with the battery. What they don't give you is a magnifying GLASS! You need the skill of a watch repairman and eyes bigger than Homer Simpson to be able to take out and put back about 25 items. There are two lengths of screw, really fricken small and miniscule. You have to take out 7 screws from the sides, unplug this, unplug that. It's pretty cool to see how it is put together. After some prodding it is all apart. That is where the video stops. Watching it backwards is not the same. This is like climbing a big mountain and realizing that you must find way your way down taking the same steps. The process is seriously tedious. In the back of your mind you know you are in deep Bandini. I was planning my 3GS purchase in my mind while trying to find that pesky screw. After a while, all you want to do is put the damn thing back together. We passed it back and forth and eventually it was back together…kind of. The SIM card wouldn't go back in, everything was mis-aligned.

Here is when things got ugly. I heard a snap when I bent the SIM card. The housing broke, now all gloves are off. Screw it!… It's time for rubber mallets and duct tape. Eventually it was back together. We plugged it in and it gasped. The screen was half working and barely readable. A test call revealed I could hear but not operate the phone. While driving home Marianne called but I could not answer. She was about to drive to my place to see if I had keeled over or had been kidnapped by aliens when I called her from home. Having a land line is still a good thing, reading directions thoroughly is another.

I am going to make a video using my messed up iPhone for cannon fodder.

The bottom line is, if you would not crack open your watch and replace the battery, you have no business opening your iPhone. If you attempt this, you'll need a magnifying glass, tweezers, a surgeon's touch, a procedural mind and $300 handy to replace your phone.

Overheated iPhone Battery Solutions

2010-02-10T14:59:00.000-08:00

I was recently recommended an app that measures your sleep cycle. The directions show to place your phone plugged in - on your bed. You press a test button and then start. I heard it beep at me during the night but I didn't know why. I woke up wondering what the stats were. I didn't realize it was my phone screaming. When I felt the phone it was REALLY hot. Ever since it won't take a charge. My home phone is out because of a recent flood and now my iPhone is dead. Now what to do? I called Apple to find out what is possible.

I bought my 3G a little over a year ago. I am 24 days past warranty. So I have 4 choices.

1 - go to the Apple Store and pay $199 to fix
2 - go to the Apple Store and pay $399 for a new phone (sign up for two more years)
3 - spend $20 for a battery and replace it yourself
4 - throw that black brick against a wall and pretend it's the early 90.s.

You would think they would stand behind their product for the length of the contract. This to me would be a hole in the bucket. Similar to the current health care crisis there are times where you are left uncovered. Like some Republicans, Apple does not care. The iPad sounds great and people may or may not love it. Typical of Apple they announce a new product that is 30 days from the shelves to add to the mystique, then release it to accolades. Through their history the public has been their testing ground and the trend continues. But I guess it's just another case of "Caveat Emptor". Let the buyer beware.

I contacted Sleep Cycle's creator and found out that I did not read the instructions correctly. When I used the app I looked at the directions and pressed buttons. I was supposed to put it under the sheet, not my pad. This caused the over-heating.

You can buy a kit for $20 shipped to change the battery yet Apple charges $200. I have done the same with an old iPod and it worked fine. If you check YouTube there are tons of tutorial videos showing the step by step. I tap my foot by the mailbox.

technorati

2010-02-06T13:15:00.001-08:00

3B2F8CBEFSYY

Crazy Mike's Apps

2010-02-05T20:33:00.000-08:00

Social networking takes a lot of time. When you are in the creative mode, switching to check your e-mail every two seconds, or see what's up on FaceBook will transform your creativity into a retribution ladened e-mail or a Google search for left-handed nose clippers.

I do a lot of right -brained activity. My social networking is mainly writing my blog and getting established with Linked-in. I don't have time for FaceBook, MySpace and Twitter. From a marketing perspective I have Apalon marketing to the app reviewers and mPlayit doing a Facebook campaign to their app audience. It leaves me a little hole in the Twitter and general FaceBook audience arena. I can't just jump in and command an audience.

In one of the Linked-in discussions most people say to stay away from paid app reviews. Through Linked-in I met Michael Vallez of Crazy Mike's App reviews. That is what he does. He actually has integrity and doesn't charge that much. We had a nice conversation and decided to do a little bartering. I will make him a video opening for his YouTube content and he will circulate Smackum! through his FaceBook and Twitter audience, plus write a nice review. Great! We might do some work together after the smoke clears. Linked-in is cool.

10 reasons why you shouldn't recruit a 7th grader to play college football

2010-02-05T10:42:00.000-08:00

I already wrote a list of people I want to smack. Today I heard about new USC football coach, Wayne Kiffin recruiting a 7th grader named David Sills to play quarterback. They predict he will be 6'4" tall, win many Heisman trophies and be MVP of the Super Bowl in 2022. Especially if you are from Tennessee you believe Kiffin deserves a smack. Here is a list of reasons why recruiting a 12-year old is a bad idea.

#10 - Diaper Rash
It makes Brett Favre style butt smacks extra painful

#9 - Clearasil
zit cream is slippery, causes fumbles

#8 - Paper route
He will strain his elbow throwing newspapers from a bicycle

#7 - Pulling pigtails
The "Pigtail" incident will haunt him all the way to the recruiter's office

#6 - Busted in Algebra
Getting caught cheating on his algebra test sends an early message to "The Mob" that he can be bought

#5 - Losing to an old lady at Madden Football
Online research it will be reveal that he was defeated by a 65-year old lady in a network Madden Football game

#4 - X-Game (wanna be)
He breaks every bone in his body jumping his flaming lawn mower over the garage

#3 - X's and O's
When he draws X's and O's on the board...girls kiss him

#2 - Lighting Farts
He severely burns his throwing hand while lighting up a butt stinky

#1 - Grounded
Forgetting to take out the trash and sending 20,000 text messages in one month, David is grounded for 4 years starting at 18.

I used to coach 12 year-olds, you never know how they will turn out. A lot happens to you between 12 and 18. The pressure of college while you are still in middle school can't help his soon growing ulcer. I would think it would also effect his personality and relationships. Every kid wants to be the star, Tiger Woods was recruited early, so was Kobe. Now that I think about it so was Ryan Leaf and Todd Marinovich. All of them have rough spots in their stories. Being a talented kid and recognized is hard to do in today's crowded sports world. Maybe some day we'll be reading good David Sills stories. I hope so.

Kite Surfer attacked by sharks in South Florida

2010-02-04T11:01:00.000-08:00

One of my goals is to make enough money with "Smackum!" to take Marianne to Greece to learn how to kite surf. I have done many sports over the years, I like learning. There are two things I don't like to encounter, heights and sharks.

What is today's big story, "Kiteboarder killed by sharks!". A poor guy named, Stephen Schafer was attacked by a rare mass shark attack in South Florida while kite surfing. That is hard to fathom. My heart goes out to him and his family.

What I had in my head as the next cool thing just got a guy killed. It really makes you think twice when you hear these types of things.

I row now and see seals all the time. If a shark showed up I would really be freaked out. I still want to learn how to kite surf hopefully not in shark infested waters.

Heidi Montag surgery syndrome

2010-02-04T10:03:00.000-08:00

I have re-created BeatTheBoss as Smackum!. It is now in the submission line, I should hear something soon.

The cool part about the rejection was the reaction of my developer in India (IndiaNIC) that does the programming. They felt pity and didn't charge me for changes. They are the same folks I worked with on TheFirstDog. The same thing happened with both projects, slapped by Apple for a technicality. What really stinks is now you can use a cartoon of Obama. Apple's rules change without notice.

A common occurrence these days is to work with people you most probably never see. I made a video promoting IndiaNIC, so they have a sense of my being. I mainly know Mahesh by text. He types with a slight accent, but you can barely tell.

One of the big stories today is Heidi Montag's many surgeries. Her mother is flipping out because she looks so different. The girl can barely move her lips and feels like plastic. I feel the same way about my game. I had to do emergency plastic surgery and get used to the new look. At least my game's lips move if you smack them.

So now I wait for a thumbs up or thumbs down. It's a little like fighting at the Coliseum, minus the lions.

Superior to circumstance

2010-02-02T14:16:00.000-08:00

Being that Apple is making me take any work references out of my game I removed the plaque identifying the boss from his desk and logos. It is a small thing, but now the scene is a little empty. The quick fix on the boxing gloves that pop up when you play the game was to remove the boss label. That is exactly what the programmers did.

I had previously re-designed the icon using a more stylized boxing glove. I am going to replace the old ones with the new. Buyers won't care that last minute changes occurred, it just has to be the best it can be when it hits the market. This reminds me of one of my favorite sayings attributed to Bruce Barton,

"Nothing splendid has ever been achieved, except by those who dared believe, that something inside themselves was superior to circumstance".

Basically shit happens.

Top Ten list of people to SMACK in February 2010

2010-02-01T12:14:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/user/SmackumApp#p/u/3/FeTbgrRs3ZE

I have decided to use my 2005 animated interview with Mark McGwire to promote Smackum!, an iPhone app that REALLY kicks butt! It will be released to the App Store in the next week. McGwire is a guy that needs a smack in my opinion. He'll hear it next baseball season for sure. There are a number of people in the public eye that could use a smack as well. This has prompted me to make a "Top 10 List" of people that I want to smack February 1, 2010.

#10 Lady Gaga - Could you imagine if that was your girlfriend? Hi Mom, this is Gaga. Thud! Mom? Mom?

#9 Rip Torn - He did the drunken armed bank robbery routine again

#8 Kanye West - Now that Taylor Swift is a grammy winner Kanye owes her an apology

#7 Snooki Polizzi - I watched an interview with that bubblehead and praised the Lord I don't live in Jersey.

#6 Beyonce - Purely out of jealousy she deserves a smack. Damn she's talented!

#5 Mark McGwire - 5 years ago they said the BALL was juiced, though he looked like a cartoon character and now he owns the home run record. That's not right.

#4 Jarrod Jewelers - Damn I'm sick of those commercials

#3 Abdulmutallab - All the people on Delta flight 253 should line up to hit the diaper bomber like they did in the movie "Airplane"

#2 Governor Mark Sanford - Talk about being busted...but a chick in Argentina? These guys must walk around the capital with notebooks in front of their weiners like in high school. But I've got a better lying sack of $%#@ politician...

#1 John Edwards - During his wife's cancer treatments he fathers a child that he will deny till pressed by the media. That's one low Mo Fo!