Actually, I shouldn’t be so trite. I haven’t met Justin Long in person, and who knows maybe he’s a heck of a guy. But, he sold his soul to the Cupertino Conglomerate, which automatically justifies his douchebaggery. So without much further ado:

FUCK YOU, JUSTIN LONG
APPLE IS FOR DOUCHEBAGS

Ah, that felt better. Now, on to my little rhyme:

Fuck you Apple loving freaks of Planet Earth
Your mother has hated you since the dawn of your birth
You like shiny white plastic and mortgaging your spleen
to afford a computer and 10 jars of Vaseline
Smear it all over that iMac
Get that iPhone ready for love
You can suck my balls Apple Community
But be sure to handle them with kid gloves
Because…
Apple Can Suck My Balls
And You’re All Fucking Lame
Apple Just Bent You All Over
So Smile, Here Comes the Shame!

LOSERS!

Oh purveyor of cantankerous detritus
Oh fine swindler of technological putrescence

A macbook pro, fervid slop
Quivering jello pudding pop
I’d like to rip your ass in two
Freeze one half then take some glue
And stick it to my dirty shoe
Id walk around and through a field
My hate, like an axe do wield
The legions of hypocrisy
Lined up in wait for iPhone 3
Roast in hell with your wankery

Oh purveyor of cantankerous detritus
Oh fine swindler of technological putrescence

I hate you Apple with my very essence.

-admin

Hahahahahah!! Muhahahahahaha!! Bwahaahaha!!

It’s over mac freaks! No more waiting in line lusting for whatever pathetic shiny plastic crap will be unveiled at the keynote. No more blogging about what Apple might have waiting in the wings. No more staying up late at night while your girlfriend is sleeping so you can crank one out to the latest spy photos of the next gen iPod. What is a mac-loving turtleneck wearing apple slut to do?

Personally, I dont know. The only thing that makes me slightly sad about this whole thing is that there will be a little less about the Apple community that I can pick on. You know, pictures like this one:

LOL. Cracks me up every time!! F R E A K S!

Oh well turdwranglers – I’m off for now. But do me a favor – when you cry like pathetic babies over the demise of this POS company, save your tears and send them to me.

I’m going to distill out all wussiness and make an extract that I can take whenever I feel like being an emotional pansy ass. Which is never, so I’ll just sell it back to you on Ebay for a profit.

Well well well, a little media hype and your interest in your users takes a back seat to backing up your lies and filth, huh apple? You dirty rat bastards!! Listen to this garbage:

“We have removed the KnowledgeBase article because it was old and inaccurate,” an Apple spokesman said in an e-mailed statement. “The Mac is designed with built-in technologies that provide protection against malicious software and security threats right out of the box. However, since no system can be 100% immune from every threat, running antivirus software may offer additional protection.”

Umm…ya think? Are you kinda sorta maybe admitting now that your bs claims about ‘no viruses on a Mac’ just maybe were sorta…LIES?

Listen kids, all computers get viruses and malware. Mac’s werent targeted much because they were so obscure and nobody wanted to own one. But now, thanks to malicious ad campagins, outright lies and propaganda, their market share of the PC market has increased 1%. Now the jackass virii writers have your number, Crapple. Im going to laugh till I shit my pants thinking about all the stupid arts and crafts, evian drinking black turtleneck wearing beatnick sonofabitches who are going to show up at the genius bar in the next couple months because they don’t know what anti-virus software is.

Silly Apple – will you ever learn?

Just like native Eskimos have many different words to describe snow, I think that my language should have many different ways to describe how much Apple Sucks.

What’s funny is, I know a few hundred people visit this site everyday,and many of you are mac fans. Does this offend you? Does it? Well guess what, fuck you and your stupid, crappy, lame, overpriced piece of shit computers.

And your 3G iPhone too, you freakin’ wankers!

Anyway, without much further adieu, here’s our first word:

————————————————————————————————-
Sapendogphil – \SAH-pendog-PHIL\, noun
A macfreak who is sexually attracted to canines and Dr.Phil, but only on Wednesdays; A dog screwing, Dr.Phil watching mac user who waits in line for every new piece of crap Apple pukes out of Cupertino.

“Oh geez, its Wednesday and that sapendogphil is at it again. Poor kid, when will he learn that lusting after dogs and watching Dr.Phil on his Macbook just isnt cool”

“Oh my god!! What are you doing to the dog?? Why is Dr.Phil on TV??? You make me sick you sapendogphil!!! Im getting a divorce!”

“You see that sapendogphil over there? Watching dog porn at Starbucks on his mac…I guarantee there’s a Dr.Phil self-help book in his breifcase”

———————————————————————————-

Keep the words coming people!! ACSMB is going to put out a dictionary by the end of summer…we’ll get this stuff into Webster’s and then its free ACSMB T-shirts for everyone!!

Mainly because telling the entire Mac-humping community to suck my balls is just a lot of work, and I’m kinda tired. I mean, too much ball-sucking fun and it gets old ya know?

I do find it amusing that Vista is now preferred over OSX by over 100:1. That’s a bigass ratio MacDorks. Almost as big as the ass of certain cake loving whore I fondly remember as Hog Ass.

But, I digress…here’s a poem to make you smile.

You can all suck my balls.

Love,
Admin

Apple Wants to Cut Artist’s Royaltess Down to 4%

It’s a shame the musicians are too busy making music to really focus on developing a business model that could put asshats like Apple and the RIAA out of of commission for good. Maybe someday…

I’d like to hear what you Apple loving freaks have to say about this, and possibly offer an explaination for the sinister acts of your seemingly benevolent corporation.

Did I mention we SELL T-SHIRTS?

Apple Ruins Nasdaq

LOL! Look at that stock fall!! Seriously, you can watch it fall by the minute over at Yahoo Finance

I can barely contain myself…the entire tech market is judging its profitability based on iPod sales. Everyone on earth owns a freaking iPod – how can these fools sell any more of them? It’s called market saturation people…look it up!

Me personally, Ill buy a Zune and a $400 Dell notebook so I have a little cash left over to pick up the pieces when Apple is down to $5 a share. Maybe Ill throw a quarter into the case of your MacBook Air when you’re left panhandling on the street corner, caressing your iPod Touch for warmth as you mourn the loss of your life savings…