Alpha and Omega

Orion turns 11

2022-08-01T22:48:00.000-07:00

As the boys have gotten older, I have written less and less on this blog. In part, it's simply because I am not making time to do so. It is also difficult to not sound like I am bragging about my boys when I am writing about them.

They are far from perfect and they have very real struggles, but obviously, when I am writing about them, it will be mostly the positive, and sometimes, that just sounds like good old fashion bragging. I am trying to convey their lives through my eyes. The stories that I often want to tell, may embarrass them at this age, although some day they may find those stories funny. As a result, I seem to only highlight their birthdays or major life events. To that end, the highlight reel for the year-in-the-life, doesn't even begin to paint a picture of all that has transpired.

Milestones. Successes. Failures. Triumphs. Defeats. From Orion's perspective, this list is probably very different from mine. As his father, I see failures as learning opportunities that can eventually be overcome. A triumph, as the result of hard work paying off. A defeat as a starting point for a new goal.

Ten, had all the earmarks of a hero's story; From ordinary life, to call for action, refusal, mentors, growth, challenges and tests, failures then successes, and then returning as a hero in time to turn eleven.

Orion turned ten while the world was coming out of the pandemic. Shortly after, he started a new school with new curriculum, new faces, new friends. He reluctantly road his mountain bike, and his favorite pastime was playing video games. Migraines plagued his first few months of the school year. Allergies came and went with the seasons, in addition, throw in a smattering of mild asthma for good measure. While he thrived in school and friendships, it began to feel like the school nurse calling to come pick up Orion, was going to be a weekly routine.

We encouraged Orion and pushed him out of his comfort zone with his mountain biking group. It is such an extraordinary group of kids, parents and coaches, that we knew if we were persistent, he would begin to settle in and biking would become normalized to him. We love biking and wanted an activity that we could all do together as a family. This left Orion with no choice but to bike and learn to enjoy it.

Orion raced his first cross country mountain bike race in October 2021. He finished in tears, but he finished. He slowly began to enjoy riding more and more over the next few months. The kids in the group all encourage each other. They challenge one another, Compliment each other, and tease each other at every opportunity, Our group road right through the winter, in rain, in cold, and mostly at night in the dark (with bike lights of course).

As winter wound down, something began to awaken in Orion. He started eating differently. Began doing push ups. He really started to enjoy mountain biking. We pushed him to do a couple more races. He finished the next couple with a smile on his face. As he improved, he became more interested in racing. He began to get faster and better and enjoyed the competition. He began to slim down and his endurance increased.

Then the swim team season started up, with his mom as the head coach of the team that he was automatically going to be a part of. Initially, he was resistant to the idea of swim team, however, once he was in the thick of it, he not only began to enjoy it, but he exceled at it. Orion's momentum continued. He became obsessed with swimming, and pushups, and biking, and arm wresting his mom with a goal to beat her by his eleventh birthday. He came close...very, very close. This kid was on fire this year!!

Orion also has his first girlfriend. We are so not ready for this, but Madi seems to be a very sweet girl, and they mostly text and talk on the phone from time to time.

Orion is taking his first steps out of childhood and towards being a man. Its his passion, drive, determination, and near obsession with achieving a goal that I am really proud of him for. As an unexpected bonus, with his drive, all the changes, and forward momentum, came a decrease in his migraines. He still gets them but the frequency has diminished substantially. I hope and pray that it remains this way if not disappearing altogether.

The ten-year-old boy from one year ago is almost a completely different version of the young man that showed up for his 11th birthday. This was a marvelous year for Orion. His mom and I could not be more proud of him.

Orion, you are simply amazing. You are kind, caring, adventurous, bright, strong, and wise. I am so impressed by you this past year and I am beyond excited to see what this next year has in store for you. Happy eleventh birthday!! I love you~Dad

Apollo turns 14

2022-04-28T12:03:00.000-07:00

Each year is my favorite. That does not mean that the past year did not present its own challenges, or that it was easy. It means that I was fortunate enough to spend another 365 days with you. To watch you grow. To watch you change. To see you stumble and maybe fall, only to pick yourself up and try harder.

To say that I am proud of you, proud to be your father, somehow does not adequately convey the feelings behind that sentiment. I am thankful that you are my son and thankful with the life that we share together.

The years go by too fast. Fourteen... all I can think about is that in 4 more years, you will be preparing to start your life as an adult. While I welcome this, I realize that I am running out of time where you will be living in our home and part of our daily life. I want it all to slow down.

My best days, my most cherished memories, are those that we spend together. I love riding bikes with you. I love watching you ride and chasing you up the trails. I can hardly keep up with you anymore. I love swimming and snorkeling with you. Hiking, camping, traveling, laughing, talking. It really doesn't matter what it is as long as I am spending that time with you.

I love that you can make me laugh everyday. I love it more that you can make your mom laugh. You make Orion laugh harder than anyone can. That interaction is one of my favorite sounds.

On your 14th birthday, you are at least 5' 9 1/2" tall and getting taller by the day. I've watched you take ownership this year of your school work, your goals, and pushing yourself in things like mountain biking. You are changing before my eyes. Sometimes I hardly recognize you and have to do a double take to see who that young man is before me.

I'm excited to see what next year brings as you start high school and continue to transform into the amazing man that I know you will become.

Happy 14th Birthday Apollo! I love you, always! ~Dad

Orion is 10!!

2021-08-01T22:24:00.000-07:00

Out of the single and into the double digits. Orion has finished his first decade of life. I have to remind myself of his age regularly because I always think that he is older than he is. Orion is on the taller size for his age. He has always been in the 90 to 95% percentile for his height, but it seems to stand out now more than ever. When I see him around kids two and three years older than he is, Orion is taller than most of them.

Orion's 9th year brought many changes and unexpected events. Covid-19 took him out of the classroom for his entire 4th grade year, we bought a home and moved a hundred miles away from the only home he has ever known, and away from all of his childhood friends.

As we build a new community around us, we have been forced to spend more time together as a family. While not always the easiest thing to do, we have managed quite well over the past year, and somehow seem to have grown closer together. We have embraced what the area has to offer us and with an abundance of open space, and trails, mountain biking seemed to be the obvious fit. While not necessarily Orion's favorite thing to do, he has been a great sport about it, and even manages to enjoy it most of the time.. We have had some great days on the trails as a family and have watched Orion improve drastically over the past few months.

Orion's loves video games, and when left to his own device, he will spend hours playing. He also loves to fish, but hates to eat them. Hahaha

Orion is enthusiastically excited and appreciative of any new thing that comes into his world. He gets so excited for presents and gifts that his hands will shake and his voice will tremble with anticipation.

Orion craves human interaction, much like his mother, He has made friends with two elderly women on our new street and will readily go to their houses to pick up or drop off an item and will spend a fair amount of time conversing with them. Orion is quick witted and has a good sense of humor, but mostly lacks the sarcasm that seems to plague his brother Apollo and I. Orion is usually good natured and always easy to be around.

Orion, it is an honor to be your dad. You have a great smile, a huge heart, and you are an all around cool kid. Happy 10th Birthday!!! I love you ~ Dad

11 years, 2 months, 1 day

2021-06-03T19:19:00.000-07:00

11 years, 2 months, 1 day...3 dogs, 1 cockatoo, 1 cat, 3 cockatiels, 1 parakeet, and many chickens. If memories are measured in numbers, the preceding numbers tell the story of our time in Santa Rosa. The animal numbers listed, are those pets that passed away during that time. So many memories. An entire lifetime of them for Apollo and Orion. Apollo has a only a few fleeting memories from living in Oregon, but he and Orion have really known no other home. We can also add 3 weddings, one grand baby, 2 nieces and one nephew within that time line to sugarcoat it with some major family events and much, much more. Interestingly enough, at the end of 2019, I had the distinct impression or prompting that we would be moving. I discussed this with Melanie and noted the need to downsize in preparation. She had been feeling the same type of impressions even though we had no clue as to when, where, or why we would be moving.

And so begins a new chapter in our story.

To close out 2020, all I can say is, what a ride. While COVID-19 sent the world into a tailspin, it also created a prime opportunity for us to buy a home. We really weren't looking to buy as home prices outpaced our savings year after year. With interest rates plummeting in light of C-19, a window opened up for us and we seized it.

I think we would have liked to stay in Santa Rosa. We could have, just to clarify, but we had our choice of pretty much anywhere within a 2 to 3 hour drive from the Bay Area. When comparing how far our dollar went in Sonoma county vs how far in other areas, we began to look for great places to live with lots of outdoor activities, great schools, and a little breathing room. The quality of schools was a big factor. If we had to give up the school that the boys are currently attending, a school and educational program that we love, then we really needed to be in a district where the boys would have the best opportunity to get a better than average education.

We pained over the decision to leave Sonoma county. We have great friends there. A great community. Melanie had jobs that she loved. The boys have friends that they have known their entire lives. I loved the country roads and the beauty of the area which provides some the most scenic places to ride. Even with all that, we were ready for a change.

Our summer became consumed with purging old belongings, searching new areas, viewing homes, excitement followed by disappointment, packing and more packing, and more purging and and endless amount of driving. Then the pieces all fell into place. We found a home in an area that we liked, made an offer, had it accepted. 30 days later, we loaded the first of 3 large loads into a moving truck and slipped quietly out of town. We decided against a small fixer-upper on a small lot in Sonoma County and opted for a larger "updater" home on a larger lot in El Dorado County.

A house is just a house. Its a material possession. Its not the things that you fill it up with that make it a home. Nor the trinkets and pictures. It's the love, interactions, and memories that you make there, which turn it into a home. That said, we really love our new house. New to us but having some history behind it. Our house has good bones, lots of space, and it is well built (if a little dated). It suits us and our lifestyle and although we have big plans to update and improve our living space, we are taking the slow path to this. While I cant help but to begin planning out and tearing into something to make it new and give it our personal touch, Melanie has convinced me to wait until after the holidays and then start small. Honestly, fresh paint and floor coverings would go a long way to revitalizing this house, but ultimately we will go a bit deeper as I always tend to do. I have a great contractor that works for free: me!

Cameron Park is our new town. It has a rural feel. Deer, raccoon, skunk, turkeys, rabbit, skunk, fox, possum, and squirrel have all made a regular appearance in our yard. There is an amazing variety of birds here too. Shredder, our murderous cat loves it here and decided that he likes us again too. (Read: he has forgiven us for bringing home two puppies 1 1/2 years earlier). We have views from the front of our house. Nothing too spectacular but we do have a valley that spreads out before us and the sun rises to face the front of our home every morning. and the moon does the same. I cant help but awake early nearly everyday to watch the sun rise. Our yard is full of flowering plants and trees and is nicely landscaped. We have room for family and friends to visit and not feel crowded.

In the end, we have a larger home, on a bigger lot, in a beautiful area. Nearly every day Melanie proclaims her love for this home. The boys love it as well. That is all the reassurance that I need to know we made the right choice. I don't know how long we will live here. Years I suspect. Another 11 or more possibly, or just a few. We would like to stay long enough to allow the boys to finish high school here, which means at least seven years. Melanie, thus far would stay until we were too old to climb the stairs. Career opportunities could change all of that if it made sense financially, however, for the mean time, we will continue to turn this house into our home.

Molly

2021-05-28T21:35:00.000-07:00

Often when I post about one of our pets, it's in the form of a requiem. In this instance, while not a memorial, I write with a mix of emotions; sadness, joy, a smidge of grief, and a wealth of elation and gratitude. For more than eighteen years, Molly has made us laugh, tried our patience, dominated our time, and generally been a major pain-in-the-ass. But we love him none-the-less.

Molly is one of seven large parrots that we had taken in and given a forever home to. The thing about birds is that other people with birds, think that you want their birds when they are finished with them. We love birds, and all animals for that matter, make no mistake about it, but too much of a good thing, becomes a burden. Its like debt. Its great spending the money but when it comes time to pay, its not so much fun, so why would I want your debt just because I have a pile of my own? Yet here we are; the dumping ground for others excess debt...I mean birds.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The story of Molly.

Molly was in the care of the veterinarian hospital Melanie worked at in Bend, Oregon in the early 2000's. He came in for check ups and nail and feather trimming. I already had Cyrus, our African Grey, when I moved to Bend in February of 2002. Melanie and I began dating shortly after (she only wanted me for my bird). After I moved in with her and the two of us had lived together for about a year, Harold, (an Umbrella Cockatoo) came along, given to us by another client of Melanie's. Harold was an amazing and sweet bird that has since passed away. It seems that once the word was out that we had two parrots, the flood gates were opened.

Molly's former owners listed him for sale. They even approached Melanie about buying him. We were adamant that we would never pay for a parrot but we would gladly adopt an unwanted one. After they failed to sell Molly after several months of trying, the previous owners called Melanie and offered Molly, her cage and all her accessories to Melanie for free. Two hours later, we pulled up to a manufactured home in a small central Oregon town, shortly after dark. The first two things that were apparent from the moment we stepped out of my truck, was the blood curdling screams of a cockatoo and the heavy smell of cigarette smoke. Yes, even from outside the house, we could smell that musty, wet ashtray smell.

We were invited in and shown to the dining room where Molly lived. He was on top of his cage and his owners were afraid to pick him up. The cage was in a corner of the room and every inch of the wall board surrounding his cage, was eaten away to the studs, from the floor up to as high as Molly could reach from the top of his cage. Some of the studs were eaten all the way to the wall board on the opposite side of the studs, and some holes were chewed through that wall board into the next room where Molly could peak through.

You know that part of a movie where the protagonist is walking right into a trap and you are screaming at them to stop, turn around, and runaway? Yeah, my inner voice was screaming all those things and more. My stomach sank and I literally felt sick. I knew that bringing Molly home was a bad idea and that it would change our lives forever...and I was right.

Sadly, when we brought Molly home, he reeked of cigarette smoke. We showered him daily, multiple times, and it took over a month before the smell left his feathers, and worse, his breath.

Molly was a bit hostile for the first few months. He would get on the floor and chase you around the house and try to bite your feet. He would bite you if you were holding him and looked away for a second. He loved to be cuddled and preened however, and that endeared him to us.

Molly learned his place and found that he was not the alpha of the flock. Eventually, he and Harold became uneasy friends, and he settled into our home pretty comfortably. That said, Molly is also the reason that the birds were evicted from the house and exiled to the garage/bird-room forever, after about a month of him living in our home. It's the screaming...it's always the non-stop, blood curdling screaming.

I must also note here that initially we assumed that Molly was a she. After taking ownership of him, Melanie had him sexed at the same time she ran blood work on him. That's when we found out that she, was a he. We affectionately called him Moll-he after that. We still use she and he interchangeably when referring to our favorite screamer.

That brings us back to the screaming. Molly would scream because it was morning, or evening, or mid day, or because he was startled, or had a bad dream at 3am, or heard a noise, or saw a light on when it was dark, or if the lights didn't come on when they were supposed to, or when he was happy or unhappy...I could go on and on...and on...like Molly and screaming. This was a point of contention between Melanie and I, while the screaming made it impossible to leave Molly outside unattended for any length of time without a lynch mob forming and storming the yard with torches and pitch forks. I was often the one that wanted to head up the mob.

That's the thing about Moluccans. They are nicknamed "Velcro birds" for a reason, If they aren't with their chosen object of their desire, they are screaming!! After Harold passed away, this behavior became worse. It was heartbreaking and unfortunate that Molly, and the rest of our parrots would not interact with each other like Molly and Harold did. The rest of our parrots are happy to spend all day outdoors in the sun and sometimes rain, just enjoying all that the outdoors has to offer. But poor Molly, would have to go back into the bird room to spend the day alone, happy to look out the window, because he could not keep himself from screaming.

I know that I have focused mostly on the screaming but in fairness, I have to mention some of the great things about Molly. Molly is very gregarious, animated, funny, sweet, cuddly, eager to please, and a master tree and shrub pruner. Molly could turn a heavily canopied tree into a leafless, branchless stalk in a very short amount of time. We once let Molly climb a large maple tree in the back yard and then watched him drop half of the branches in about an hour. While we were all looking up at him wondering how to get him down, Molly decided to show us his skills. So absorbed was he in showing off, that he hopped out onto a limb, bit the limb in half, and promptly fell, screaming, while in utter shock that he had been dislodged from the tree, with the limb still clasped in his feet, tumbling all the way to the ground. Yup, he chewed through the branch between himself and the tree.

Molly was a show off and to grab your attention, he would stretch his neck out, tilt his head forward to show you his bedroom eyes, tap one foot up and down repeatedly and in a soft voice utter, "Bluh, bluh, bluh, bluh, bluh."

His one real word in English is "Hi". Molly liked to walk around on the ground, challenge the dogs, and chickens for the right of way, and destroy any plant or object he could get his beak on.

Molly was the best bird to take to schools, parties, and nursing homes. He was more than happy to have all the attention on him, sit on shoulders, get petted, and show off. He had his last party with us just 4 days before his big send off, and as always, he was a big hit.

Molly would let you rub his head and preen his feathers for hours. He flirted with every one, preferred men to women, and loved to be the center of attention.

While Harold and Molly would often hang out and preen each other, our other parrots were always freaked out by the way Molly would move or twitch. as a result, none of the other birds wanted to interact with him. We discussed several different options for Molly: Finding another cockatoo (Melanie's choice, not mine), buying a 100 plus acre, long and narrow plot of land and putting a house on one end and the bird room at the other end, or find a cockatoo colony where Molly could live out the rest of her life with others of her kind.

About five years ago, we came across the Cockatoo Rescue and Sanctuary, and its owner, Lori Rutledge. While the last thing that Melanie wanted to do was to give up Molly, she did realize that we could not give him the quality of life that he deserved, nor were we prepared to take on more of these magnificent creatures and provide them with a place to live where they could make all the noise that they wanted. It was never an option for Molly to go to a new family of people. We did not want him to be passed around once the novelty wore off, and the screaming became more than they could handle. The Cockatoo Rescue and Sanctuary does not adopt out its birds and that really appealed to us. Lori introduces the birds into a colony of its own kind where the birds can live out their lives being cockatoos. However, it took 5 more years before Melanie finally conceded that it would be in Molly's best interest, as well as the interest and sanity of the rest of our parrots (and people) if we sent him off to the sanctuary. After several long conversations with Lori, Melanie readied herself for letting go of Molly this past fall. Still, we decided to keep him through the winter and send him in the spring when the weather was warm enough for Molly to go right into an outside colony.

After a health check, buying a specific carrier and bowls, and purchasing an airline ticket on Alaska Airline, Pet express, we packed Molly up early in the morning and drove to the airport to send him off. It was tough to let him go. Saying goodbye is never easy especially with such a big personality which you shared your home with for more than 18 years. We had to keep telling ourselves that Molly was going to be in her happy place and the last place she will ever live.

Lori picked Molly up from the airport in Seattle and over the course of the next week (and counting) has given us updates about Molly's introduction to the colony and his progress in settling in. It seems that he made short time of settling in and is now living his best life.

After spending his first unattended time in the colony, Lori returned to find Molly hunched down on a perch, his feathers puffed up, and enjoying an extensive preening session from two of the female "greeting party" Moluccans. When Melanie conveyed this to me, she was choked up and expressed how happy she was for him.

Molly has been very busy exploring every inch of the aviary and making new friends. After coming back inside at night (and unwillingly) after his first full day in the aviary, by the second day, he was snuggled in with flock and wanting to stay outside in the aviary with his new family.

We were surprised to learn that cockatoos, once part of the colony, quit plucking their own feathers out. They also learn how to trim their own nails from the other birds in their flock. When he molts again this fall, Molly will have all new flight feathers, all his missing chest feathers will return (most likely before he molts), and he will become indistinguishable from any of the other birds in the colony. We could not have wished for as much. Oh, and while he can scream to his hearts content, he quickly learns from the rest of the flock that that is not appropriate behavior.

While we will never see Molly again, we are relieved that he is in good hands, surrounded by other Moluccans, and will live the rest of his life the way he deserves. I know that he may grieve the loss of his family here, but the positive distractions will ease and shorting his grief if any. I tell myself that he, on some level, understands what we did and why and that he is happier for it.

Back here at home, the silence is deafening. We are realizing how much we adapted our lives to tip-toe around Molly in hopes of not setting him off on a screaming tangent, Now we no longer worry about that. The rest of our parrots, are more relaxed and seem happier, and not stressed out from the screaming. By which I mean, the screaming wore on them. All the parrots have stress bands on their feathers, especially coming out of winter when they have been trapped indoors with Molly and his screaming. JoJo, our double yellow headed Amazon, has even started singing in her cage again; something she hasn't done in a long time.

Molly changed our lives forever and we will miss him terribly. We are happy that we gave him a loving home for the past 18 years and even happier that he has found his own kind to live with.

If you would like to donate to the Cockatoo Rescue and Sanctuary on Molly's behalf, please follow the link below:

cockatoorescue.org

Apollo 13

2021-04-28T23:24:00.000-07:00

We have a teenager in the house...again. What a year it has been. One year ago Apollo turned 12 at the beginning of the pandemic. We celebrated. Just the four of us, under lockdown. Apollo hasn't been to school in a year...over a year actually. All the usual interactions with friends has been minimal and sparse. The boys and Melanie, went a couple months without being in a car or going to a store. We spent a lot of time together as a family. Now, as I look back, we (the four of us) have spent much more time together in the past 13 months, than the previous two years combined. All day every day with very few breaks, especially for Melanie. While we are excited for the boys to be back in school at the start of the next school year, I know that I will look back and miss this gift of family time. Social distancing brought us closer together, however, I do not look forward to the pubescent distancing and independence that occurs in the coming teenage years.

We have watched Apollo begin his transformation into a man this past year; His voice changing, Growing in height. Muscles growing. He is getting so strong. I have loved riding bikes with him, especially since Christmas. He has gotten strong enough to keep up with me on the bike and follows me on almost any terrain when mountain biking.

I've lost a boy to the relentless progression of time, but gain a young man. A young man full of potential and promise. It is bittersweet knowing that we have fewer years in front of us than behind, before he fledges the nest. Too few for my liking if I'm honest. But then again, we are only just entering the teenage years.

Apollo is creative. He has began using a 3d printer to make things. He is exploring drawing and digital art. He is creative in his ideas and writing. A collaborator and comedian in his demeaner. And a fierce protector of all of Gods creatures.

Apollo, you make make my life more interesting. The world could use a lot more people like you in it. I am proud to be your father and fortunate to call you my own. I am proud of you and everything that you do.

Happy 13th Birthday! ~ Love you forever~ Dad

Orion turns 9

2020-08-01T22:35:00.001-07:00

No one likes a party more than Orion. It doesn't matter whose party it is. He prefers that it be his own party and he be the one lathered with gifts, but he will settle for someone else having a party, as long as he gets the invite. Orion approaches life that way; a series of parties or more often, a lack of. Everything is either great (a party) or terrible (no party). There is no in between, no gray area, no compromises. There are days until. Painful days. He counts the days until Christmas, Easter, his birthday, and vacations. The excitement builds as the day gets closer. The night before is restless, then party day is the best day ever. Followed by the worst day ever.

I love this about Orion. He has passion. He is easily excited...and disappointed, but it is his excitement over the smallest thing that is so endearing.

This was a big year for Orion in so many ways. He has lost teeth, experienced the loss of a pet dog, got two new puppies, took a road trip to Oregon to see his aunts, cousins, and grandma, grew leaps and bounds, survived another fire evacuation in the rv, was baptized by his brother Ian, found himself in the middle of a pandemic, experienced home-schooling/ distance learning, managed to make it to Montana for his brother Aden's wedding (during a pandemic), and did I mention how much he has grown? Somehow, Orion surpassed his yiayia in height at 8-years-old. A benchmark that he is immensely proud of.

This was also the year of the middle finger. With our free range parenting style, we have chose to let him go through this phase, knowing that it will pass in time. From it, he is learning when it is appropriate to be unruly and when it is not. He knows that people find it offensive and refrains from sharing his favorite talent in public...unless he thinks he is being sneaky. Point a camera at him, and the finger comes out. Even at his brother wedding.

At his core, this mischievous kid has a heart of gold. He genuinely cares for his friends and family. He is a conversationalist like his mom. (editorial: Conversationalist in our house really means; debater, arguer, contrarian: just like his mom. We encourage him to question everything...and he does. Obviously we need to review the commandment with him where it says, "Thou shalt honor they mother and father") .

Orion is our pickiest kid. Most foods are "disgusting" especially fish (except for ceviche), and chicken (unless its nuggets). Peaches are currently his favorite fruit. followed by watermelon, grapes and any berry that he is not required to pick.

Orion knows more types of cars and trucks than I do. He points them out on the road and not only tells me the make but the model of the car. Fast cars and big trucks that is. He could care less about family cars. He is also insanely inventive. Actually, he is more of an idea guy. He has solutions to every dilemma, and explains in detail how his inventions should look and how they will work.

We are so blessed to have Orion as our son. He is creative, bright, sweet, and fun. He laughs heartily, plays hard, and loves unconditionally.

Happy 9th Birthday Orion!! I love you! ~ Dad

Apollo turns 12

2020-04-28T07:11:00.000-07:00

"It's true! The world is flat!" Apollo exclaims smugly, in response to me randomly stating that "The world is flat you know." His face lights up in anticipation like a kid that just found a twenty dollar bill in the street.

Slapping his hands to his forehead and dragging them with exaggerated effort down his face in despair, Orion yells out, "NOOOOOOO!! Why did you have to say that Dada?"
simultaneously, Melanie will look over at me in disgust and ask, "Really? why...why?" and shake her head.

The chaos that I just unleashed on my family with that one simple phrase, could happen on any given day, on any random road trip, and will undoubtedly lead to a 20 to 30 minute debate between Apollo and Orion on whether or not the earth is indeed flat.

To be clear, Apollo does NOT believe the world is flat at all. He does, however, believe in sarcasm, absurdity, mayhem and pestering his little brother. Orion on the other hand, is more like his mom, and even though he knows that Apollo is yanking his chain, he cannot help but argue every point and counterpoint that Apollo makes on the subject. And let me just say, Apollo can make a very compelling case for the earth being flat.

Why do I do this you ask? In part, for my own sadistic entertainment. I enjoy listening to the banter. I enjoy the argument that Apollo lays out. I enjoy Orion thinking about and articulating his rebuttals. Yes, Orion is often distressed and almost yelling while Apollo is grinning and sagely making his case...until Melanie intervenes to make them stop. In the end, Melanie is usually irritated with all of us, Orion is angry, and Apollo is quite pleased with himself. As for me, beyond the entertainment value, 30 minutes just passed away where no one asked me "How much longer?" or complained that, "I'm hungry," or, "I have to go to the bathroom."

This is Apollo. He is clever, bright, sarcastic and quick witted. He is easy going for the most part and adapts to new situations readily.
Apollo is spending his twelfth birthday in a pandemic "say-at-home", shelter-in-place", "quarantine", or any number of phrases to describe the state wide and county lockdown. He going on week six of no school, social distancing, and being stuck with only his family 24/7. For the most part, we are all getting along, rather well I might add, all things considered. Melanie complains that Apollo talks too much and does not know when to quit being sarcastic or pestering his brother, but really, these are just gold plated problems as they say.

I cant believe this kid is on the edge of manhood. It has certainly been quite a ride. Normal for him is fire evacuations and living in the RV with our zoo, almost annually, smoke or fire related school closures, and a third of his sixth grade school year being canceled for a pandemic... and being isolated at home...with his family...in what promises to be the never ending summer.

Kids tend to go with the flow and adapt. I wonder how Apollo will view these events as an adult. As with most things that come his way, he seems rather unaffected. While as adults, we are losing our minds. I think about how my parents grew up and the challenges that they were faced with.My grandparents as well. Then I realize that it is our generation that had it easy. Our generation was the anomaly. A few decades of normalcy, as we have come to know it. It's just life and it is different for everyone and every generation. I don't believe that our boys will look back on this year, 2020, as the crisis that we, as adults, will. Its just another chapter in all of our books.Some will see it as a profound plot twist while others will see it as more of a side note. My bet is on the later for our boys.

Apollo continues to awe us with his love for and abilities with animals. They are drawn to him, and he to them. He finds no end to the fascination and entertainment they provide him. They seek his attention because they feel a connection. There is always at least one dog and/or a cat in his bed at night. Melanie calls the dogs "traitors" when they abandon her to sleep with Apollo. The birds appreciate his affinity for them and call to him when they see or hear him. We never need to ask him to interact with any of them. He almost always has a bird or two on him when at home.

Apollo has been reading nonstop. Reading is one thing that we never have to ask him to do. To the contrary, at times we have to tell him to stop reading and go to sleep. I wish I had his passion for reading. I do love a good story and audio books for me, replace my lack of ability to sit and read for more than a few minutes. I introduced Apollo to a series that I really enjoyed; Riyria Revelations and Riyria Chronicles. While probably above the reading Lexile of most kids his age, I knew he would find the books and characters interesting and hoped that he would be sucked in to them. I was not surprised when he became obsessed. He has powered through almost all of the books in the past few months. They are lengthy and wordy but it has not deterred him in the least.

Apollo has been dabbling in electronics and robotics this past year, including flying drones. He is good with his hands and creating with them. He still loves origami and will randomly fold up an animal or complex paper airplane.

He has a good eye for photography and won some 1st place awards and Best-Of-Show for his age group at the county fair last summer.

Apollo has also done some great video editing and time-lapse films that were rather good.

With all of his creativity, one of his best talents can also be viewed as a curse of sorts; Apollo has a knack for mimicry. He excels at picking up on peoples mannerisms, speech patterns and voice inflections. While we try to guide him and encourage him to stop short of bullying, he is quite adept at these skills and does them on a subconscious level.

Apollo is a very funny person. One of my favorite things about him is that he can make us laugh, all of us, and without any thought or effort. When he wants to, he can get Orion laughing harder and longer than anyone can.

I laugh at Apollo all the time because I can relate to his twisted sense of humor. He got it from me after all. While Melanie is not as entertained by him as I am, my favorite thing is that he makes Melanie laugh, all the time. Its not that Melanie doesn't have a sense of humor, because she does, she just doesn't find most men (or maybe just this man), or her children as funny as she does her friends, so the fact that he gets her laughing at all, is a testament to how genuinely funny he is...even if he is trying to convince her that the world is flat.

~Apollo
Stay true to who you are. Make people laugh. Love unconditionally. Work hard. Always be proud of what you stand for. ~I love you, and I am honored to be your father~ Happy 12th birthday!! ~ Dad

And then it happened.

2020-04-08T23:15:00.002-07:00

It felt like a Saturday morning, but it was a weekday. Probably closer to noon. I passed through the first big intersection. The traffic was all wrong. Nothing I could put my finger on. Just the wrong cars, in the wrong place, at the wrong time. The air seemed cleaner some how, like it does after a spring rain, It had been raining, but that wasn't it. Maybe it was the quietness, the stillness, or just that eerie feeling when you know something was about to happen but the anticipation is much worse than the end effect could be. Or could it?

And then it happened: Pandemic. The world shut down.

March started like any other March. I tend to ignore the media most of the time. I despise the over-glorification of the mundane, the political rhetoric, the hatred. I haven't seen real journalism in years. It doesn't exist anymore. With that said, it was impossible not to hear about a new virus erupting in China. The city of Wuhan being shut down. A city of 11 million people completely shut down and cut off from the world... to contain a virus. While shocking to hear this, after passing through Wuhan Tianhe International Airport just one year earlier...twice, I completely understand how seriously they take these outbreaks. Novela Corona Virus was already on my radar by this time, but the closure of Wuhan was the first time that I took note of it.

I was at a corporate training event on March 11th when the news announced the cancellation of the remainder of the NBA season. My flight down to Southern California the day before was only about 55% full due to concerns over the new virus. Things were already beginning to unravel globally. We had seen some business events cancel a week earlier locally. More followed suite. Then the NBA canceled. It escalated from there...quickly. Travel bans began to be implemented and more sports organizations followed the NBA by canceling the remainder of their seasons respectively.

The boys made it through the week to Friday the 13th, without their school shutting down, although we had anticipated it. It was the start of spring break. The next day, the school district announced that class was suspended through April 3rd.

March 16th, the city of San Francisco issued a stay-at-home order essentially shutting the city down. That was followed by a six county (Bay Area) Shelter-in-place order. Sonoma County followed suite the next day, inadvertently extending the school shut down until April 7th. A week later, the school district extended the order through May 1st. The week after that, the rest of the school year was canceled and learning would move to an online format.

Melanie was laid off of both her jobs and became a home-school teacher overnight. Apollo and Orion had a hard time understanding why their friends could no longer come over for a play date. For the most part, Melanie and the boy's have not been out of our neighborhood in nearly four weeks now. We are all still adjusting.

You find out quickly in these crisis, all the things in life that we take for granted. The everyday things, first world conveniences really, even the ability to go where you want, when you want, with whom you want. But its the social isolation that gets to most of us. The communal things that we all do together if even to be surrounded by strangers or acquaintances: the gym, church, movies, events. Its the interaction with others, that primal need to interact, I think we miss the most. And then we are suddenly thrust into a position to be surrounded 24/7 by the people that we love AND fight with the most. Its a cruel paradox.

Fortunately, beyond the love I have for my family, I actually really like them all as well. Don't get me wrong , its not all sunshine and daisies around here. We make each other crazy at times, need a break from each other at other times, but for how isolated we have been from outside contact, interactions, and daily life, we are managing to get along quite well.

Am I scared of catching this virus? I guess I am, but maybe in a way that differs from most. My lungs have some issues that put me at a higher risk for it becoming life threatening. That doesn't scare me. What scares me is this; I am not done raising my boys. I would not want them to have to go through losing a parent and then coping with the massive changes that would inevitably follow. I worry about the impending economic struggles that will follow this pandemic more than fighting the virus. All we can do is be safe and diligent and live day to day.

COVID-19 has really changed the world more in a few short months than I ever thought was possible.

On a positive note, there have been many benefits to the shelter-in-place/stay-at-home orders. Families are being forced to spend time together, learning to get along with one another, preparing meals together, eating together, interacting as teacher and students.
The air has not been this clean in years. Not just here, but many places around the world. Oil is at its lowest usage in decades. The planet is probably breathing a sigh of relief.

I have been able to get in some extra rides in between rainy days and work duties. The skies have been amazing to say the least. But it was unsettling the first ride after the initial shelter-in-place order was issued. Everything did seem off... because it was. As I passed through areas that I used to frequent, it was like reminiscing as you walked an abandoned town that you once lived in: "There is the club I used to work out at. That used to be a movie theater where I would to take my family. This is the school that my kids went to." All sit abandoned, their parking lots empty. Even the wildlife seems a bit confused by the lack of people and traffic.

Then, the town falls behind me, as I peddle on. The road stretches out before me, the clouds add depth and contrast to a deep blue sky. I inhale my medicine, feel the wind on my face, and distance myself socially from my family...for a little while.

End of the Decade

2019-12-31T20:15:00.000-08:00

~2019~

As 2019 comes to a close and I reflect back on the decade, it has been one hell of a ride with lots of ups and downs. It has been 10 and a half years since we left Oregon and landed in Santa Rosa. Orion was born here in Santa Rosa just two years later and this summer we celebrated his 8th birthday. He has known no other home.

While Apollo was barely 15 months old when we arrived here, he retains a few memories of Oregon. Leaving was bitter sweet and there are still a few people, a few places, and a few memories that I will forever hold in my heart from those days in Central Oregon. While Santa Rosa still does not quite feel like home to me, there is much to love about this place. We have built a lifetime of memories here with the boys. We have made some good friends. We have discovered new activities that we love and have had many adventures while living here this past decade.

I am looking forward to a new year and the start of a new decade. While 2020 is just a number value, it feels like a whole new start. It feels like it holds promise for so much more opportunity and adventure and much change. I hope when the next decade ends, we are someplace new and can look back in fondness at the 2020's.

This is the final day of 2019. Our big family trip was to Phuket Thailand this year. Apollo and Melanie visited Aden in Montana in April to meet Aden's prospective bride. I was able to go to Alaska and Canada for fishing/business trips. Melanie and the boys went to Oregon to see Melanie's three sisters and her mother while I was traveling. We fit in a trip to Disneyland and California Adventure for Orion's birthday.

We spent a few nights living in the RV again with all of our pets due to a wildfire evacuation again. And I somehow managed to fit in 75 nights in hotels for business travel. Melanie worked three different jobs throughout the summer months. We have been busy to say the least. We shared many laughs and shed a few tears this year. We lost our beloved dog Remi and gained two new puppies; Ace and Zohra.

Apollo started 6th grade and Orion started 3rd. Both boys excel in Math and science and are overall good students except when it comes to keeping up on homework assignments.
Orion still lives his life for Christmas. He has been streaming Pentatonix Christmas station every night since Thanksgiving and refuses to stop until January 1st.

Apollo is honing his skills for mimicry and has his mom and I down to a "T".
Orion does awesome front flips from the diving board at the Wikiup Swim and Tennis club.
Apollo likes building electronics and is quite adept with a soldering gun. He is beginning to dabble in Arduino robotics and lasers.

Orion likes to take electronic apart to see how they work. Old computers, DVD players, tablets and phones are not safe if they stop working.
Both boys have become great swimmers, and even though they aren't thrilled to be on swim team, they do very well. Both boys have an eye for photography. Apollo won best of show for his age group at the fair. Both boys had 1st and 2nd place ribbons for all the photos they entered.

Overall, 2019 was a great year. I am blessed to have the family that I have and the adventures that we shared together.

Goodbye 2019~Hello 2020

Sometimes you gotta say Phuket

2019-12-31T15:35:00.000-08:00

Thailand. I have started this post at least a dozen times in the past eight months. I needed some distance to sort out my thoughts and feelings about Thailand and now need to finish before the new year begins. While I can say we loved Thailand, or at least Phuket, I was a bit discouraged by all the trash. I can't fault Thailand as much as I fault people and consumerism (all around the world) in general. We are no better here in the USA, we just have infrastructure in place to deal with it better. I guess in some ways, that makes us worse. I have had to stop several times while writing this post as I did not want it to end up being a rant on environmental issues. I could not separate it out completely because I still feel I need to say something about it, as it did impact our trip. Trust me when I say that this is the condensed version of my original rantings on the subject.

The Thailand I had hoped for and the Thailand I experienced, were as different as any American reality show is from real life in the US. I cant say that I was disappointed, but if I could do it over again with the knowledge that I have now, I would have taken a different approach. That said, I am in no hurry to return to Thailand. Not because I didn't enjoy our trip there, but it was hard to enjoy myself completely, when nearly everywhere was so littered with trash. I don't mean this to sound judgmental, it just makes me sad to see the country's beauty marred by litter, especially when it affects the wildlife and there are many other places that I would like to visit before returning.

We pack a lot into a short amount of time on our trips to experience as much as we can in the time that we have.
My feelings on Thailand are a bit mixed. The people are kind, the food is amazing, the culture is interesting, and some of the sights are stunning. On the opposite side of the spectrum; excessive trash, over crowding of tourist sites, over commercialization of tours and sites, plastic, and did I say excessive trash? We saw such a small portion Thailand on our week that we spent in Phuket and I am sure that once you leave the tourist areas, it is quite a lovely country, but the amount of trash that littered the ground, the flora and fauna, and sadly, even the ocean, was really disheartening. I guess I had higher expectations for Thailand.

And then there is the domestication of animals, mostly elephants, but also tigers.

It is easy for us as Americans to condemn the Thai people for using elephants for shows to make a profit. It wasn't long ago in this country that circuses had elephants as part of their shows. That ended only a few years ago here. As a kid and young adult, I remember the ring masters smacking the legs and back of the elephants or snapping a whip behind them and lions, to get them to move or respond in the desired manner. In Phuket, we did not observe any physical abuse of the elephants, however, it begs the question, how are they so well trained.

We visited the Phuket FantaSea show on our last night in Phuket. It was not on our original wish list but we were given two free passes, so we decided to go and see what all the hype was about. The show was well done, but again, I have some ethical questions about the training of the animals.

Knowing what we know now, we would have skipped this show and especially the riding of the elephants. They are beautiful, majestic creatures and it breaks my heart to think this may stress them out in any way. Still, the boys will not soon forget the experience.

I know that I can no more expect to go to a Native American reservation and see people living in tepee's, hunting buffalo with bows, and living off the land, than I could expect to see native Thai people living in grass huts, fishing with spears, and climbing trees to pick coconuts. However, I had hoped to experience a simpler culture.

I realize that much of the areas that we visited, exists solely for tourism, and because of that, you find all the things that come with a thriving metropolis, without the sustainability and oversight of an infrastructure that can support it. For my taste, I like the small villages in any culture and would have liked to experience that in some form in Thailand.

I know this would have required more research and planning and my part, plus time, and several extra vaccines. I would have liked to find locals to take us on a boat to the places the tour boats don't go. I would have liked to find a rain forest to hike through, and a deserted beach, unspoiled by visitors.

Food and culture are deeply intertwined in Thailand, and we did get to experience a small amount if it. Yes, the food was outstanding and that alone would be enough for many people who visit Thailand. If Apollo and Orion were a little older, I think some small huts in a rainforest near a snorkel friendly beach would have been the perfect Thailand vacation. All four us love exploring and hunting for bugs, fish and birds.

I cannot say enough good things about the Marriott Phuket Beach Club where we stayed during our trip. The facilities and grounds were pristine. The employees and Thai people are friendly and always offer a warm smile.

There were great restaurants, a gym with a spa, stores, kids clubs, multiple swimming pools, beach massage facilities (which we took advantage of daily), and our villa was beautiful.

If our intent was to stay in one place to soak up some Thai sun while being pampered, this place certainly fit the bill perfectly. But, we came to experience Thailand, so this served as our home base with daily trips away from this small piece of paradise.

We rented a car in Thailand. Driving in Phuket is an experience in itself. So many vehicles...especially motorcycles, often with 3 or 4 passengers, all going in different directions with an anarchist approach to traffic laws. The car did offer us the freedom to come and go as we pleased and on our own schedule. After a few days, I started to feel a bit more comfortable navigating the city.

Jumping right in to our trip, we found our way to Monkey hill on the first day and took a long hike up the hill to meet the monkeys.

We were cautious but we did purchase bananas and peanuts to feed the monkeys, ironically from a vendor/home right in front of a sign telling you not to feed the aggressive animals.

We spent an hour interacting with these beautiful creatures and by the end of the trip, both boys admitted that this was one of their favorite part of the trip.

We laughed, we were fascinated, we were intrigued, and we laughed some more. I think we could have gone here daily and not been bored. The boys were disappointed that we did not find our way back to Monkey hill before we left.

For one of our guided adventures, we took a day "snorkeling" trip to the PhiPhi islands... which turned out to be nothing more than a tourist boat excursion, on a tight schedule, that just happened to stop at a couple places (for a short time) where you could snorkel if you wanted. (Man, I missed Fiji with my brother and his family this day.)

The water was beautiful but the sites were too touristy for my taste, and every spot was overly crowded with boats and people all jockeying for a spot. Did I mention that this was the shoulder season, weeks removed from the peak of tourism? I couldn't imagine being here in December.

As we always do, we made the best of the situation and really enjoyed ourselves.

Night markets in Thailand are a
whole different adventure in themselves. While the biggest ones (and tourist oriented) take place on the weekend nights, we found some during the week that were quite impressive.

The markets were packed with natives and very few tourists. The food booths were a thing of beauty. There were so many different types of food all ornately displayed. There were even vendors dedicated to the culinary delicacy of insects.

Grubs, worms, crickets, ants, and water beetles were relished by the locals. The grubs unexpectedly tasted a bit like bacon. Melanie was the bravest of us all and ate more than Apollo and I combined. Orion wasn't having any of it.

We could have tried ten different foods every night in Thailand at one of these markets and we still would not have made a dent in the variety of options that they had to offer.

The boys really enjoyed shopping in the night market and we all had some good laughs at the knock -offs of name brand merchandise.

Apollo and Orion found some bags and souvenirs, did some haggling, and got to experience something very different than what they are used to back home in the states. The prices for items at the night markets were very reasonable since they were geared towards the locals and hot the tourists. Denim jeans started at about $3, while used shoes seemed to be a hot item especially brand named shoes.

At first, the night markets seemed like such an oddity. But once you realize that the days are hot and humid, it make sense that the markets take place at night, out of the heat of the sun. The markets are a place for friends to meet, do some shopping, and families to have dinner. I was surprised by how many people were there. It seemed more like a fair than a market with the amount of people in attendance. The people watching was great, but we stood out like a sore thumb and the locals were watching us as much as we watched them.

On our last day in Phuket, we went searching for a little lesser known beach off the beaten path.

It was marked by a small sign that could be easily missed if I hadn't been better prepared. The hike to the beach was through a beautiful jungle and we had to kind of guess at which way to go.

Sadly, this beautiful beach, Banana Beach, was overrun with trash. I know that my pictures do not reflect what I am describing, as I made a conscious effort to avoid taking pictures showing the trash. In hindsight, I would have taken a lot of pictures to document this but at the time, I wanted to focus on the positive as much as possible.

While not may tourist were at this beach with us, most all of them were walking the beach picking up trash or pulling trash from the water.

Melanie, Apollo, and I all snorkeled at this beach, and you could hardly swim a body length without running into plastic bags, cups, styrofoam, and other pieces of trash floating in the water.

The bags often contained trapped fish. While very sad, it was also a great learning experience for all of us... especially the boys. They were able to see first hand the effects of single use plastic bags on such a delicate environment.

Still, we had a blast at this beach in between pulling trash from the water.

Thailand exceeded my expectations in the food department. First and foremost, the fruit was AMAZING!!

Both price and variety. Apollo could live on dragon fruit alone, while Melanie and I couldn't get enough of the passion fruit.

Orion's addiction was pineapple and bananas which never taste quite as sweet on the mainland as they do in the tropics.

Through in some papaya, mangos, and fresh coconut milk, and we were all pretty happy.

That said, our favorite restaurant that we found was a literally a tarpaulin and bamboo shack. It was situated in the trees off the beach, and in between resorts on a little traveled set of roads used more by residents than tourists.

We found this spot quite by accident while ridding loaner bikes from the resort. We initially thought it was a shanty town of homes the first time we went by.

When we circled back to the resort, we noticed a sign and menu out front. We came back that same day to sample the fairs after seeing the live seafood bins out front. We had some of the best seafood here. The food was so fresh and so good that we came back the following day. The prices were very reasonable and the food was unbelievably delicious.

We also ate at a fancy restaurant at the resort and while the food was unreal tasting, and the presentation was impeccable, the price was what you would expect to pay at a fancy restaurant in the San Francisco Bay Area.

What was most noteworthy about this trip in regards to Apollo and Orion, was their comfort level in the water. Both boys had been on swim team for about nine months when we went to Thailand. Because of this, they were not afraid to venture out in the ocean with snorkeling gear on. It made it a bit nerve racking for Melanie and I as we had to chase after them and bring them closer in. Even when the sea was a little rough, the didn't hesitate to get in the water. Apollo even navigated a plethora of jellyfish at Banana beach only managing to get stung a couple times.

The boys are becoming more aware of the differences in cultures and learning to respect those differences. They are concerned for the the wildlife and environment wherever we go and I love seeing them pick up trash when they see it on the ground. Apollo now chooses to not use straws when offered to him with a drink. We want the boys to embrace the world, love to travel, love people, and not be afraid to try new things. With that, I think we are doing a fairly good job.

In summary, I would say to anyone that has ever considered traveling to Thailand; Go!! Do not be discouraged by what I pointed out in regards to trash and litter. Just know what to expect. Get your travel vaccines, eat from the street vendors, visit the night markets, and try the grubs.

And then there were two: Meet Ace and Zohra

2019-09-03T10:57:00.000-07:00

"This is the first time in my entire life that I have not had a dog." ~ Melanie

Remi has been an only dog for seven years, since Lucy passed away in February 2012. We have talked about getting another dog off and on over the years, but I for one, enjoyed only having one dog. It made it easier to bring him along camping, or to find a pet sitter for, or to take for a ride to the store. One is easy. The down side to this is that Remi would be home alone during the days, and when we left for an overnighter, he was home alone again.

Melanie and I have had conversations about this for years now. Until recently, Remi could handle a night at home by himself, but he seemed to have a little separation anxiety happening more recently, judging from the neighbors reports of him barking all night, not his normal "there is a cat in the yard bark" but his mournful, "I'm all alone" bark. It got us thinking about getting him dog to keep him company and debated whether or not he would like sharing his home with another dog. Needless to say, Remi passed away last month, within a few days of us returning from our most recent trip and a few days before we departed for another. While we are still mourning his loss, Melanie and I both agree that it was better that he passed while we were home and not while we were away. Two weeks later and I am still checking to see if he is laying at my feet when I awake at night.

After Remi passed. Melanie kept reiterating the fact that it was indeed the first time in her life that she was without at least one dog. She also made it very clear that she was going to be the one that would pick out our next dog. Initially, I wanted to take some time off from having another dog to contend with, but Melanie made a very valid argument about the fact that I am traveling a lot and she would be more comfortable with a dog here to warn off would be trespassers. Melanie also made the point that the kind of dog she would want if she had her choice ( and considering that I was adamant about hair dogs vs fur dogs ~ think allergies) was a Maltipoo or a... honestly I can't remember what the other one was because a Maltipoo is my kind of dog and that's all I needed to hear. 😃
So began the search.

Initially I thought about waiting until Melanies birthday in October to find a Maltipoo. but then I started to realize that we are headed into fall, and then winter. It would be so much easier to potty train a dog this time of year than during our rainy season. Also realizing that Melanie was headed on a road trip in a few days, I thought it would be a great bonding time for a new dog and allow her to work on potty training. Note: I did do my due diligence and checked shelters and rescues for Matlipoo's and similar breeds and was unable to find a dog within our region that would work with our family dynamics. (Skittish. Does not like children. Needs to be in a single pet home. etc.)

I then began to look at ads for Maltipoo's and after a few phone calls and email conversations, I discovered how many shady and dishonest people are out there. While I desperately tried to find a white, beige, or white and beige Maltipoo to add a new color pallet to our four-legged family, the unsavory people eliminated those choices for me. I kept coming back to an add in a dog publication for some black and white Maltipoo puppies. I finally shared the ad with Melanie and she was in love. I reached out to the owner and found him to be the first normal person that I had dealt with in my puppy search. He was located in San Jose and I just happened to be passing through the following day. We agreed to meet and I let Melanie know what time so she could answer my FaceTime call and pick a puppy...What a horribly bad idea that was. All that I can recall from that meeting was, "I can't decide," "If you love me, you'll get both for me," "They will keep each other company," and then driving away in a stupor with two puppies, and me being the only one of the 3 people involved in the transaction that didn't leave there completely satisfied. Now I remember why I didn't let Melanie be involved with the selection of the last puppy. 😉

Meet Ace and Zohra. Orion picked the name Ace for the boy and Apollo picked Zohra for the girl. Yes, we are crazy for getting two puppies, and Yes, they are the cutest dogs ever, and NO, You can't have one, so quit asking!! 😂

I think Remi would approve of these two little rascals but I also believe that he is happy to not have to share his home with them.

Welcome to the Zoo Ace and Zohra!

Remi

2019-08-18T17:03:00.000-07:00

Why...?
How...?
What if I...?
If I only...?

So many questions, so much guilt. So unexpected...

Remi passed away last night, August 17th, around 10:00pm. He did not come when called at bed time. Melanie and I went outside to look for him and found him lying still as if he simply fell asleep. Our hearts are broken.

May 25th, 2009 is the day that Remi came into our lives. He was about 8 weeks old when Apollo and I "stumbled" across the little fur ball.

Melanie was gone on a girls, Memorial Day weekend trip to the Oregon coast, which doubled as a weening weekend for 1-year-old Apollo. I found an ad for a litter of puppies that were a cross between a Miki and a Japanese Chin.

Always a fan of small "hair" dogs, Apollo and I had to take a look. Apollo, grabbed Remi as soon as he met him and said, "Mine." We brought him home and waited for Melanie to return. We let Melanie name him. She chose Remi; a shortened version of Remington, although I always joked it was short for Remedial.

Remi was the ideal family dog, though it took more than six years for him to realize that he wasn't the Alpha of the family.

He never showed aggression towards another dog, animal, or person, and wanted nothing more than to be the center of attention. His only perceived rival was Orion and it took until a year ago to realize that Orion was just another member of the pack.

I referred to Remi as the boys "fur brother", and they as Remi's "skin brothers."

Remi loved camping. If we opened the RV door for anything, while parked in our yard, Remi would jump inside and lie down in "his" chair, just to make sure we didn't forget to take him along.

He loved the beach and the water and would run in-and-out of the waves on his own accord and then splash in the water along side the boys.

When we brought home Shredded, he became Remi's cat and not ours. He welcomed every dog into our home and always had impeccable doggie manners.

Remi climbed in bed with Apollo every night at bed time, and then waited until Melanie and I went to bed. He would then sleep at my feet all night, leaping from the bed and racing out the dog door at the slightest hint of something being amiss.

He chased off raccoons, possum, fox, mice, snakes, cats, and skunks...that is until he finally got sprayed twice this summer. In his mind he felt betrayed; he only wanted to play with the like colored funny looking dog.

At 10 1/2 years old, he still had a lot of puppy in him. Remi was energetic and playful, even on the day that he passed.
Melanie and I have been playing back the days and weeks leading up to his passing. Its the natural thing to do I guess, struggling with guilt. Did we overlook something? Was he sick and we missed the signs? If we looked for him sooner, could we have saved him?
Remi had a great life with us, but it was far shorter than we would have liked. Our home feels empty and our hearts are heavy.

Remi was our pet, our companion, our protector, and our friend.

Run free little buddy. We love you. We miss you and always will. You took a huge chunk of our hearts with you when you left.

Remington - March 25, 2009 ~August 17, 2019

Orion turns 8

2019-08-01T23:59:00.000-07:00

Has it really been eight years? Two thoughts on this; It seems much longer than eight years, but then again, eight years seems to have passed by in the blink of an eye.

Orion is our enthusiastic kid. His excitement and anticipation for all things fun, is only matched by his heartfelt disappointment when things do not go according to his plan. This kid has my heart. He is adventurous, energetic, bright, thrives off of interacting with others, and wants to be in the middle of everything.

Seven brought on the loss of no less than 4 teeth; mostly his front teeth. Orion managed to swallow one tooth while eating an apple but the tooth fairy still left him ten bucks.

With weekly swim team practice, Orion swims like a fish. His confidence in the water has grown tenfold this year. He will tell you that he hates swim team but the skills he is gaining are invaluable and truth be told, his mom and I love to watch him swim.

Orion has been doing flips into the pool since he was three-years-old. Now that he has access to a diving board, he does front flips like a champ!

Every year with Orion is my new favorite age. I am looking forward to 8 and eagerly anticipate every moment we spend together.

Never change. Always be yourself and proud of who you are. Be confident, be bold. be strong.

I love you with my entire heart.

Happy Eighth Birthday Orion!

Apollo turns 11

2019-04-28T09:22:00.000-07:00

He may not have received his Hogwarts letter, but he is plenty magical when it comes animals. His patience and understanding of them, draws animals to him. He is endlessly entertained by creatures and never tires of them or their antics. He is Newt Skamander, Radagast the Brown, or Saint Francis; take your pick. His favorite part of any trip to anywhere in the world, will undoubtedly be some interaction with an animal. The world can use more wizards like him.
Apollo turns eleven today and as I reflect on his life this far, I feel an immense amount of satisfaction and pride. As his father, I see his potential. I know what he is capable of becoming. I also know his weaknesses and what his struggles are. As with any parent, I want the best for this son of mine and want him to be successful and happy when he becomes a man.

At 11, Apollo stands about 5' tall. He lingers in the 90th percentile for height for his age. He loves tennis, cycling, and enjoys swimming. He is an avid reader and always has a book in his hands. Currently, he is reading the Harry Potter series.
Apollo has a quick wit, great sense of humor, and an over developed sense of sarcasm. One of my greatest pleasures in life is when Apollo decides to wake his mom up in the morning before she wants to be up. With a very exaggerated tone of bliss and contempt in his made up, high pitched voice, he will pet her head and her arm while saying things like, "Oooooh! What happened? Did the morning come too soon? Are you sleepy? Time to get uuuup!" And when Melanie protests, it just adds fuel to the fire, "Ooooooooh! Did you get angry? Get up mama! Time to get up?"

I can honestly say that Apollo is a happy kid. I see it on his face when I pick him up from school. I see it in his eyes, and hear it in his voice. And then there is that smile. Not the cheesy smile that he uses whenever we try to take a picture of him, but the genuine smile that can light up the most dismal room.
Eleven is gateway age. The journey through puberty, testosterone, and attitude is at our doorstep and I am nervous about navigating the next phase of his life. But for now, I am content with this gregarious animal loving boy of mine.

Happiest of Birthdays Apollo!!!

~I love you~

51

2019-04-14T12:48:00.000-07:00

If I'm being honest, he's been there my entire life; hiding in the shadows...in the corners...in my dreams. In my youth, he had no form beyond the darkness and the random sounds in the night. I learned to ignore him in my post-pubescent, testosterone driven, invincibility years, but I know he was still there lurking in the shadows. While I ignored him, I feared him most in those years, feeding him all the energy that he needed to start to take shape. I was in my early 20's when I first saw him clearly. He saw fit to show me that I was indeed mortal, reaching his long tendril like hands around my chest and squeezing the very air from my lungs, watching the terror in my eyes as the world faded to black.
At some point I made my peace with him and began to fear him less as the years passed. Still, he was there. Always watching, always following close behind. I often saw him out of the corner of my eye, following me out of the plane in my skydiving years. I think he loved skydiving as much as I did. I always imagined him smiling as the ground rushed up to meet us.
Now, I see him when I look over my shoulder checking for cars in the road, when i'm on my bike. He's on a bike of his own, black robes billowing in the wind behind him, peddling hard to keep up. I admittedly will peddle harder at times to make sure he doesn't get any closer. He's always there with the first glance but gone when I look again, yet I know he is still there; following, waiting, biding his time.
Macabre as it may sound to speak of death in such a manner, I don't see his presence as a dark omen. Just a simple reminder of my mortality and how short and precious and delicate this life is. I've made it more than half a century on this earth and I hope to find several more decades before my time is up. While I may not fear death himself, I am not ready to submit to his final voyage either. I want to continue to walk my young boys into adulthood, watch their successes, help them get up after their failures, watch them become men and start families of their own. I want to explore more of this world and see as much of her beauty as I can and hopefully do it with Melanie by my side, while I still have the strength within my bones to do so.
My mantra in my youth was once, "You only live once!" In my older years, it has changed to, "You only die once, but you live every day."
I am grateful for another year. Too many friends have not been so lucky to make it this far. Every year, a couple more friends take that final journey. Some never saw it coming, others knew and fought the good fight to the end, and then there are those who succumbed to a period of immense sorrow and loneliness and chose to end their suffering on their own. For some, their time ended in throws of doing what they loved...I count them as the fortunate ones. For all of them, I grieve and because of them I choose to live everyday. While time and money may limit my ability to travel and explore the world on a daily basis, I still look for and find something every day that reminds me how beautiful this life is. God willing, I will never feel the touch of the grim reapers cold grip upon my heart or ravaging tendrils eating my body from the inside, or stealing my memories and my dignity over time. I hope to see him following behind for many years. When alas, plagued by old age, my body says, "enough is enough." I will then greet my old friend Mr Reaper and let him take me to a tropical paradise where I will patiently await the ones left behind to live their own long and fulfilling lives.

Jack-Jack

2018-12-09T22:07:00.002-08:00

"Oh no, oh no, oh no!" How can just two small words carry so much weight. The image of Apollo holding his lifeless pet bird in his hand, the look of sorrow, disbelief, and utter shock on his face, while he muttered those two words, will be for ever ingrained on my heart.
"I'm sorry Apollo, she's gone and I cant bring her back," is all that I could manage to say as I embraced him.

Jack-Jack came to us a couple years ago as an owner surrender, like most of our birds. I am not sure why people think that since we have a bunch of birds already, that we want more, when the novelty has worn off for them. Needless to say, against my wishes, we took "Jack" (misidentified as a male), into our home and renamed her Jack-Jack since it sounded a bit more feminine.
Apollo went straight to work and made Jack-Jack part of the flock. She became very sweet and responsive to both boys, but pretty quickly she bonded with Apollo, even though we had a male cockatiel named Sonya (another gender mis-identification). Sonya never identified as a bird and never met another cockatiel until Jack-Jack and so he was not interested in Jack-Jack in the slightest.

The two birds tolerated each-other but both pined for Apollo's attention. A third cockatiel came into the mix not much later. Lovey was her name but we called her Jill-Jill to complement Jack-Jack. Apollo and his birds are inseparable. He enjoys their company immensely and takes them out in the mornings before school, and then as soon as he gets home from school, and they spend much of the day riding around on his shoulders or sharing a meal with him.
Sonya passed of age related bird issues, Jill-Jill is crippled, but Jack-Jack seemed to be young and healthy. A few months ago, Apollo noticed that Jack-Jack was ill. We didn't think that bird would last through the day as bad as she was. Melanie began treatment immediately and nursed that bird back to health. Its been a roller-coaster with her since; she improves markedly, then declines, Melanie starts treatments again, and Jack-Jack perks back up. We thought we would lose her on a couple occasions but she seemed to be back to full health for the last few weeks with Apollo watching her for any signs of illness. Unfortunately, tragedy never offers a warning and Jack-Jack ate her last breakfast with the boys this morning.
As a parent, you try to help your child navigate through their emotions. You teach them to face them and deal with them. Anger, frustration, insecurity, envy...all present their own set of challenges but grief is the big one, the hardest of the group. Grief is the one emotion that cuts you deeply as a parent as you watch your child experience it. I would do anything to take on my child's pain so he never has to feel that way. The sorrow, the guilt...the loss. It's all I can do to maintain my composure as I watch him sit down for a meal, look to the cage expecting to see his bird or hear her call to join him, and then watching the sorrow fill his eyes, as his appetite leaves him.
Jack-Jack was happiest when she was on Apollo. She would snuggle up to his cheek or in the crook of his neck. Sit with him while he read. Eat off his plate at meal time. Fly to his shoulder if he tried to walk away. More than anyone I know, Apollo is fascinated by birds. He knows their moods, their body language, and loves their personalities. Everyday, they give him something to laugh about or ponder. He has their stretching pattern memorized. We call it birdy-yoga and he stretches along with them, or would initiate it and laugh when the followed his lead. It is a marvel to see him with his birds and any wild life for that mater. He has so much patience and compassion for animals.

Dealing with loss is part of owning pets. It is inevitable. This is not our first rodeo, and we deal with some sort of loss every year. Some are just harder to accept than others. Especially when they go suddenly or when they are young. We have mitigated them all rather well but this one has hit Apollo pretty hard. We comfort him in the knowledge that Jack-Jack had the best life she could have ever hoped for, that he made that life for her, that she loved him and could tell that he loved her. The tears are not wasted on her loss. She was his friend and she will be greatly missed.

Fly free Jack-Jack

Orion turns Seven

2018-08-01T08:04:00.001-07:00

He knows every way to manipulate me. He knows how to pull on my heartstrings more than anyone else in the house. He is a fierce negotiator. He is easy going, social, happy, kind, and loves to laugh. He gives the best hugs. He genuinely misses me when I am gone for the day and greets me by yelling "DADA!" while running to me and throwing his arms around me when I walk through the door.

Orion is the baby of the family; our last born. He is literally the icing on our family cake and we could not have asked for a better soul to finish off our quartet of boys.

At seven, Orion is entering the 2nd grade. He will become an uncle in a couple months. He loves riding bikes, swimming, soccer, collecting rocks, loves surprises and gifts. He speaks Spanish beautifully and does well in math. He is creative and artistic and likes to draw and color. Orion is a bundle of energy and enjoys being tickled, wrestling, and relishes being chased around the house.

Orion is the easiest to bribe out of our four boys. By this I mean, you can negotiate with him and if he perceives the deal to be favorable, he will approach a complete stranger and ask him/her for something in anticipation of earning his prize.
With all the boys, from a very young age, we have encouraged them to go ask for a napkin in a restaurant or ask for a refile of water or some other simple task designed as an exercise in social norms. Orion outperformed all his brothers in this area. He has no qualms about standing in line at a store and purchasing a book, toy, candy, or ice cream all on his own. He can be slightly on the shy side but will easily engage others or readily respond to others when approached. He understands the value in social reciprocity.

Orion enjoys hearing stories about and looking at pictures of his early years. He laughs at his antics, often mistakes pictures of Apollo as a toddler for himself, and watches old video clips of himself with great interest. He is curious about where he was and what he was doing and who he was with.

"How old am I in this picture dada?" he asked one day.

"You were two and a half," He considers my answer and studies the picture intently. "Do you remember this?" I inquire.

"Nope," he begins, searching his memory, "I feel like I was born at three, because I don't remember anything until I was almost four."

Orion does not hold grudges. He easily forgives and loves freely. He is excepting and inclusive. He has charm and charisma. He has a heart of gold. I consider myself lucky to be his father.

To an amazing son; you bring endless amounts of joy and fun to my life. You keep me young. You keep my honest. You teach me patience and show my how to love unconditionally. I am thankful beyond measure to call you my son. Happy seventh birthday!! ~ I Love you!

Fiji: Land and Sea

2018-07-23T23:01:00.000-07:00

Apollo and Orion travel well. At ten and six, it is becoming easier to travel with them and they are old enough now that we don't have to watch their every move. At the same time, this means that they are getting closer to being able to keep up with Melanie and I in many of the activities that we want to do. Hiking is an easy one for them. It has been a couple years since I have had to do half of every hike with Orion on my shoulders. He still asks to be on my shoulders occasionally, but when I counter by trying to climb on his shoulders, he will quickly relent.

Both boys are becoming great swimmers now, which means that they can snorkel and swim in the ocean with us.
Since returning from Fiji, the boys have started a Junior Masters Swim team at our club. Based on their progress in such a short time, by our next tropical vacation, they will be able to swim circles around me.

~~~~~

Melanie and I are often on the opposite ends of the spectrum on what we like and dislike. There are certain things, however, that we can come together on and can't get enough of. Fiji embodies much of what we have a mutual love for and a fascination with. We both love tropical reefs. Not just the fish, but the corals, soft corals and the invertebrates. The Fijian reefs, as a whole, can be overwhelming. There are so many fish, and corals, that your eyes are constantly moving from one thing to the next. When you slow down and start to focus in on the smaller areas, that's when you will discover whole new worlds.

The first time Melanie and I were able to explore a reef together in Fiji, it didn't take long before she popped her head up, pulled her snorkel from her mouth, and called to me, "You have to follow me over this spot! I am smiling so much that my face is starting to hurt!"

That's what it's all about for me. It is truly amazing and fascinating. So much life and beauty. Every crack and crevasse is teaming with life.

The more you look, the more you find. If it wasn't for the Darth Vader style of breathing through a snorkel, you would think we were watching our very first firework show, each time we got in the water, with all the ooo's and aah's and gasps of excitement.

Apollo and Orion can use a mask and snorkel pretty well. Apollo has become quite proficient at it. We have spent a lot of time in the pool practicing and getting accustomed to using a mask and snorkel. The ocean, however, can be intimidating, even to a more seasoned swimmer. Orion was fine with only a few short moments in the water with his mask on and opted for the safety of a raft. I think the vastness of the ocean and the size of the fish and the possibility of seeing a shark, kept him out of the water more than in the water. "Orion, did you see any fish?" I asked after our first stop. "Millions! I saw millions!" came his reply.

Apollo, on the other hand, spent quite a bit of time in the water. even in some of the deeper and rougher spots.

After a few excursions over the reefs with Melanie or myself, he opted to take off his fins, and stay near the boat with his mask and snorkel on, feeding the fish with cookie crumbs to lure them to him.

There is something to be said about warm water and a tropical climate. It would be nearly impossible for us to get bored of the weather and the warm waters in Fiji.

Every time you get in the water with a mask, you see and experience something new and different. Even if you revisit the same spot, there is always something new to see that you either missed the first time around, or it just moved in between visits.

The waters off the coast of Northern California offer their own beauty and abundance of life, but honestly, the mind numbing, frigid waters have no draw or appeal to me. Even though we visit the coast where we live, often, I am happy to stay out of the water and wait until my next tropical vacation to snorkel.

We also share a love of plants, bugs, and animals. The jungles of the interior or Viti Levu are stunning. There is something growing on almost every inch of dirt.

Fruits and vegetables grow effortlessly and wild. Not only are there bananas and coconuts growing everywhere, we found papaya, breadfruit, mango trees, coffee plants, peppers, and several fruits that we could not readily identify.

Behind every leaf, there were bugs or spiders. Butterflies were almost as abundant as the mosquito's. And the air was rich with the scent of flowers, plants, moss, and earth.

We filled our vacation with adventure. We did about as much as a family could expect to do in such a short time. It's never easy to go home and settle back into the daily grind after experiencing so much...or so little, depending on your perspective.

If there is one thing that I hope Apollo and Orion will take away from this trip it is this: Life is an adventure that is meant to be lived. Days come and go... then weeks... then years. Before you know it, you are left with the regret of all the things you could have done.

I am trying to keep my list from growing any longer. ~~~

Fiji: Adventures

2018-07-15T21:35:00.001-07:00

Every adventure spawns a thousand stories. Every story is unique to the perspective of the individual. I see things much differently through the eyes of a father and decades of life experience behind me than I did when I was a child. There is so much beauty in the world. Even in the most unexpected places, if you look for it.

As this was my second trip to Fiji, I knew what to expect. In many ways, my expectations were greatly exceeded. We went to Fiji without much of an agenda. We had things that we wanted to do, but most of our trip was without a schedule. This worked out very well for us. Some of the best memories for me were spurred by moments of spontaneity. I am not sure that I can pinpoint one specific moment from Fiji as my favorite. I could probably pick a favorite for each day, but even that would be a daunting task to narrow it down to just one moment.

I can list all the things that I loved; the humidity, warmth, flora and fauna, the fruit, the ocean, reefs, fish, anemones...I could go on for hours and really break it down to types of flowers, birds, fish, locations. You get the idea.

For Apollo and Orion, however, they both have their favorite moments from the trip.

Apollo loved the boat. Everything about it: Being out on the water, snorkeling, the fish, feeding the fish, and seeing the different islands and boats.

He liked that all of us were packed on the boat together because that gave him an opportunity to spend time with everyone. Apollo likes being surrounded by people that he knows, and feels comfortable with. It is the one thing that he will gleam to if all the plans fall apart. He always points out that his favorite thing is that we were altogether.

Orion loved the plane. To be more specific, he loved flying the plane. When your brother is a pilot, you get those little extra perks. We were fortunate enough that my brother was able to get us on one of his flights to a private island. On a float plane no less. The boys were each able to take a turn sitting in the co-pilot seat.

It was a bit of luck that Melanie, Apollo, Orion, Spyros and myself, were able to get on a flight with Greg. There was just enough room for us, and when we arrived on the amazing private little island, we had enough time to take a quick tour, have a small snack, and then board the plane to fly back. On a side note, a month would be too short of a visit to to a little island like the one we visited.

The plane we were on is a Twin Otter on floats, a very nice Twin Otter I might add. I have been on dozens of Otters back in my skydiving days, and this was by far the nicest and most modern.

Next to handling the controls, Orion was thrilled that the plane landed and took off on the water. We were all excited and impressed by this. Melanie and I also were able to do this with Greg in Greece on the island of Corfu, a year before Apollo was born. Seeing the boys reaction to taking off and landing on the water was awesome. Orion was as exited as our dog Remi gets right after he has a bath.

The boys are old enough that they take most things in stride. They love the adventures especially once they are in the midst of them. I think at this age though, they don't realize that many of the things that we do are not necessarily the norm.

We try to explain to them that most people don't have huge bonfires on the beach in Fiji, or have private beaches to themselves to watch the sunset and play in the water at, get to fly a seaplane, but I'm not sure that they have a grasp on how special those things were. They loved every minute of those moments and adventures and they continue to talk about them, but I think that they assume that's what vacations are all going to be like.

The funny thing about that, is that when Greg & Kim come to visit, we usually have pretty epic adventures here too. Our camping trips are always an event unto themselves, so maybe we are setting a precedence.

I have put pictures in this post that Apollo and Orion selected as some of their favorite memories from Fiji. They picked way too many to post at one time so we had to whittle them down to just these few.

To go with the pictures (and in addition to the plane and the boat), here is a list of their favorite memories: Playing in the tide pools. Giant Chess at the Marriott resort. Hiking to a remote village in the shadow of the sleeping giant and visiting a kindergarten class. Hiking in the jungle with our whole group (10 of us). Drinking fresh young coconuts. Fijian bananas. Pineapple.

Melanie and I could enjoy ourselves anywhere. We could have spent all day, every day in Fiji in the water snorkeling and exploring the reefs. We could have spent days and nights exploring the jungles and not been bored. We would have been happy foraging for fruit to eat as our only food every day. We really dont need much to be happy. But to spend time with three of our four boys, plus Kim, Greg, Spyros, and Zosi, in Fiji, just letting the chips fall were they may, made this vacation extra memorable for us while finding the adventures in the unexpected.

Fiji: The Cousins

2018-07-15T21:27:00.000-07:00

"I'm bored!" Orion laments pensively, just one day after returning home. "Yeah, me too," Apollo agrees, "Why did we have to leave Fiji anyways? We're out of school for the summer."

"Because I had to go back to work," I said in defense.

"You could have left us at Uncle Gooch's for the summer and then came back and picked us up before school started again," Apollo argued.

"As nice as that sounds, it's not practical. We have pets that need us to take care of them. Plus, your mom and I have jobs we had to get back to."

Orion was listening and processing our conversation. With a perplexed look on his face, he turns to me and asks, "Don't they have golf in Fiji." ~~~ If I relied on golf to make a living, we'd be homeless! I have Melanie to thank for instilling the belief in Apollo and Orion that my job is golfing.

My brothers first born, Spyros, refers to Apollo and Orion as "the cousins" or "my cousins" when he is speaking of them. I'm not sure why I find it so endearing but I do. "Uncle Mark, can my cousins come swimming with me?" he would ask. The three boys were inseparable.

When Apollo and Orion met Spyros for the first time at only a few months old, they kept asking, "How long until he is old enough to play with us?" Now, four years later, they always ask "When can we see Spyros and Zosi again?" I love that the age difference between all of them has not deterred them from enjoying one another. They all find each other hysterically funny. Apollo has a knack for picking up on and mimicking everyone's quirks, isms, and idiosyncrasies. While annoying to adults (albeit an invaluable skill set for a comedian if he should chose that career path), his peers seem to like it. Apollo quickly keys in to what the kids he is around will find funny...which in this case translates into a 10-year-old acting like a four-year-old. (Insert eye roll here. Yeah, we are working on when this "talent" is appropriate and when it is flat out annoying).

I will take this over Apollo thinking he is way too cool to hang out with someone so much younger than him. His charm worked for Spyros, and what is most important to me is that there was a lot of laughter from the three boys. It is that laughter and those kind of memories that form a life long bond. However, if I have to hear the term "poop-stank" one more time, I will pull my hair out...if I had any left.

Zosi is too young to interact with the boys for a long period of time and mostly uninterested anyway, but she does chose to play with them for short periods of time. Zosi is the crème de la crème of the group. She may not be a morning person, but once she gets going, she is the sweetest and most easy going little girl. My favorite memory of her from this trip was at the Marriott resort. Zosi found some ants on a couple steps and plopped down to play with them. There were some black ones and some red ones, all very small. Zosi suddenly calls out, "OW, OW, OW!" and begins to cry. Being the closest adult, I ran to her and as I am scooping her up. I notice a couple small red ants on her that she is urgently trying to get off. I start brushing them off of her skin and in the sweetest, softest and most somber voice, she says through the tears, "The red ones bite me!"

~~~~~~~

By themselves, Apollo and Orion often will tell me that they are bored. This is a Hail-Mary pass on the off chance that I might allow them some screen time.
Throw in some friends or cousins, and they can make a afternoon of adventures out of a simple cardboard box. Add an ocean of warm water, sandy beaches with rocks and shells, and they wont complain all day unless they are thirsty or starving.

While sitting on the beach, snorkeling, and swimming would be all that was needed to keep us and the boys happy, having Spyros and Zosi to adventure with was an added bonus for Apollo and Orion. It is interesting to note that the boys have a completely different set of interactions and memories with their cousins than what we saw and heard. We have been listening to stories about them since we left. I have to keep asking the boys, "When did that happen?"

~~~~~~~

Vacations can be hard and a lot of work, especially with kids. So often we get back from a vacation and we feel the need to go on a vacation to recover from our vacation. Fiji was nothing like that for us. There were moments of the kids not sticking with the script, or too many bodies to try to get from point A to point B, but in the end, we wanted more; More time in the water, more time in the jungle, more time exploring, more time with my brother and his family, and for the boys more time with the cousins. It's always best to leave the table a little hungry they say.

On our last day in Fiji, the boys were grilling me about why we had to leave. As arguing my point would have been futile, I simply told them that "It's time to go home."
"We are home," Apollo stated.
"Wait," Orion asked completely caught by surprise, "are we moving here?"
"Well," Apollo explained, "dada always tells us that whenever you are together with your family, no matter where you are, you are home. So, we are home and that means we don't have to leave"

Fiji: We have arrived

2018-07-04T09:31:00.000-07:00

"Chip, chip, CHIP, CHIP, chip!" A gecko calls from the corner of the room. His voice is quiet enough to be missed if there were any ambient background noise, but in the still of the night, it's as if a bird was chirping right outside the window. My eyes are still closed and I am still mostly asleep but I am aware of the sounds around me and that the morning is close at hand. From the other room, I hear bare feet slapping the tile floor, then the handle of the door unlatches, and the bare feet enter the room.

"Dada," Apollo nudges my shoulder, and in a hushed but excited voice, he says, "you should see the sky right now! It's really pretty!"

I force my eyes open to find the room illuminated with a soft pastel pink. After a long plane ride and only a few hours of sleep, I'm very tired but I drag my butt out of bed to treat myself to an amazing sunrise. It's not yet 6:00 AM. After watching the sky with Apollo for several minutes, another set of smaller feet come hurriedly down the hall, rhythmically slapping the tile floors in their wake.

"Dada!" Orion's excited but not so quiet voice calls out, "Can I go swimming!"

Fiji...We have arrived.

It's a lot to ask of anyone to be a guest in their home...you, plus your entourage of five that is, but that is exactly what we did, which brought the homes occupancy to ten for the week...Or did I even ask?...hmmmm, not really sure about that one, but that's just what we did; invaded my brother Greg and his wife Kim's home for a week. Fiji was our destination this year solely based on them living there. Not that I needed a reason to go to Fiji, it just made it the easy choice for us. Staying with family is how we grew up; big family and always extended family as house guests.
Granted, had my brother and his family lived in Siberia or some place like that, then I would probably be writing about our trip to Kauai or Cancun right now, hoping that my brother and his family would come to see us soon.

In the weeks leading up to our trip, Orion wanted to know (daily) how many days until we left. Days are a unit of measure that he understands. Weeks...months...these mean nothing to him, but days... he can relate to days. It not only fueled his excitement for our trip, but it fueled ours as well. As the days drew down into single digits, his face would light up with realization and he would proclaim, "I can't believe that we are going to Fiji in 4 more days!" One of my favorite things about Orion is how excited he gets. His enthusiasm was reminiscent of waiting for Christmas all over, but in the spring time. I really appreciate that level of excitement.
On the plane ride over, on Fiji Air, Orion was watching all the promotional videos for Fiji with the on-board entertainment system. He became increasingly excited the more he watched. He often tapped on my leg to get my attention, his eyes wide with delight, to tell me things such as "Dada! Did you know that Fiji has the nicest people in the world!?" his voice loud enough for the two rows in front and behind us to hear, unaware that his headphones are causing him to nearly shout. I smile and nod. "I didn't know that! That's so cool that we are going there!"

Apollo is more reserved and contemplative about things. His excitement comes in the form of questions about what we may see and experience. He wanted to know about the types of animals and plants we might see, places we might go, and things that he hopes to do and see. "Can we bring a Fijian Parrot home with us?" he asked.

With all the excitement and all the hype, we had finally made it to Fiji. Apollo and Orion swam as the sun came up on our first morning, anxiously waiting for their cousins to get up. "When is Spyros getting up? Can we go wake him up?" they asked continually, unable to contain their excitement.

One-by-one, everyone made it out of bed. The boys were reunited with their 'cousins' and picked up right where they left off the last time they were together. Our hosts gathered up some kayaks and paddle boards and our first day, we explored the mangrove estuary right outside the front door.

I was fortunate enough to chose a partner that likes to explore and adventure as much as I do. Apollo and Orion get to come along for the ride with us now, and they too relish in it. As long as we keep them in food and water, they are totally content go non-stop from dawn until several hours after they should have been asleep.

Our first two days we spent exploring close to my brothers home, taking in the sights, sounds, tastes, and smells of Fiji. This was just the beginning of our short trip but it was off to a great start.

If a vacation can be defined by its quality of sunrises and sunsets, as cliche' as it might be, this vacation was off to an epic start..

Apollo turns Ten

2018-04-28T07:32:00.000-07:00

You can try to instill your thoughts and beliefs in them. You can try to program them to be who you want them to be. You can try to shape them, mold them, bend them. The harder you try, the less influence you seem to have. Kids are like a flood; they start out like a little trickle of water that grows exponentially, gaining speed and power. You can try to stop it like a dam until there is so much pressure built up that it bursts through with even greater force and determination. All you can do is offer guidance or suggested paths, and encouragement to take one route over the other.

Ten is a benchmark for a child. Its a doorway leading from childhood to adolescence. As a parent, I find it both exciting and terrifying. Apollo turns ten today. I couldn't be prouder of the person he is becoming. He is so different than the person I thought he would be as I waited for him to be born, yet there is an innate familiarity to his personality. I couldn't see him being any different than he is.

Apollo has a connection with animals and nature. He sees himself as a part of them and understands them. Yes, we are a very animal friendly home and we love nature, but Apollo has a gift that was not taught. From the time he learned to crawl, he was fascinated by anything living and always treated them with special reverence. To this day, we cannot kill a spider in the house (if he is watching) or pull a snail from a plant and throw it into the street. To him, they are all living creatures that deserve to live. He is kind and patient with animals. We have adopted birds that come to us a little less than friendly and Apollo always wins them over and turns them into putty in his hands. He never has to be told to interact with his pets. They are the first thing he checks on in the morning, when returning home from school, or even a short trip to the store.

When Apollo is interested in something, he is unstoppable in its pursuit. Last year in school, it was math that sparked his interest and he excelled well beyond his grade level. This year, it is reading and mythology. Apollo has always been introspective and once he discovered the worlds that written words can paint, he was off to the races and has read about a dozen of Rick Riordan's books, starting with the Percy Jackson series. Apollo always has a book in his hand. His teachers have to take the books from him as he will start reading in class and get lost in them. In his English class, they track how many words the students read (by the number of words in the books they read). Apollo is closing in on one million words! At last count, in march, the class goal for the year was to have read at least 175,000 words. Apollo was over 850,000 at that point and had yet to take tests for two more books that he had read, in order to get credit for reading them. Melanie likes to tell him that he has read more books in one school year than I have in my entire life...do audible books count?

Apollo is very funny and quick witted. He is sarcastic and understands dry humor. He loves to laugh and to make people laugh. Even so, his personality is complex and often adults, usually teachers, see him as quiet or forlorn, and are unable to "read" him, finding it difficult to know if he is interested in something or not, or even trying to get him to participate. If he is interested, he is in 100%, if he is not, his mind is elsewhere. He doesn't understand why he needs to do something if it doesn't interest him. Did I mention that he is stubborn?
One of my favorite things about Apollo is when he finds something appealing; sounds, tactile sensations, sights, etc., he will say "That is really satisfying." At 9-year-old, he has made the connection between stimuli and behavior and sees that pattern in people and animals and then found a way to put it into words.
His sarcastic quick wit and stubbornness, are not so satisfying to his mom though. When Melanie points out to Apollo that he has not yet done his homework, he likes to reply with, "That's interesting." Did I mention that Apollo is also good at pushing peoples buttons?

Apollo, you are an incredible young man. I enjoy every moment that we spend together. I love your sense of humor. I love the way you care for animals. I love the way you see the world. To me, the person that you are is very satisfying. I am honored to be your dad. ~ I love you!

Fifty

2018-04-25T09:53:00.000-07:00

Fifty. I don't feel it. Not in my head at least. My body feels it for sure. I get sore easier, I get injured easier, recovery takes a longer time, my body aches more in the mornings.
They, whoever "they" are, like to say things like "50's are the new 40's" or "40's are the new 30's" Well, if that is the case, my "new 30's" were painful.
The irony is that the older I get, the harder I push myself in certain things. Maybe it is because I remember what I was capable of in my real 30's. Things came easier. To achieve the same results as I once did, I have to work harder to get there.

They also say that with age comes wisdom but they never seem to say the same thing for maturity. My wife will tell you that my maturity level is perpetually stuck in my teens. Apparently she tells our kids that to! Just a few nights ago, Apollo told me that, "Mama said that you're not much different than a kid." Although I am sure it was not meant as a compliment, I will take it as such. I still think of people that are the same age as me as being much older. But then I look in the mirror and have a hard time reconciling that the face I am seeing belongs to the person that I envision in my head. My residual self image is that of a 20 something.
At fifty, I have a 1st grader and a 4th grader still at home. How did that happen? I often wonder if physically it would have been easier to have kids in my 20's rather than in my forties. It comes back to pushing myself harder (physically) for what would have been easier 20 to 30 years ago.

I travel a lot for work these days and spend many nights hotels. Actually, I have always traveled for work and have always enjoyed life on the road and have never minded being in hotels. Now that I am older and have Apollo and Orion at home, I find that I would much rather be home with my family. Melanie likes to point out how nice it must be for me to have someone clean my room everyday, cook for me and clean up the dishes, etc. Yeah, that is nice, but I really miss the my routine of putting the boys to bed, getting them all riled up, getting ~~yelled at~~ reprimanded by Melanie for amping them up when I should be winding them down. Then in the morning, waking them up by tickling them, sprinkling water on them, cranking up some rock music, and getting ~~yelled at~~ reprimanded again because Melanie is trying to squeeze in 20 extra minutes of sleep. I will take a hundred nights of that chaos over any one night in a hotel.

Don't get me wrong, I love my alone time but life on the road is not what I crave. Give me a winding, hilly country road far from the city and a road bike and that is where I find my solace and meditation. The sights, sounds, smells, and wind on my face, all change with each crank of the peddle. The smell of Redwoods, soil, moss, and wildflowers are incredible, especially in the spring time here. Cycling has been my passion for the past 4 years, starting originally by pulling Apollo on a Trail-A-Ride tag along bike with a bike trailer connected to that for Orion. I towed them all over Sonoma county. Now they are on their own bikes and can easily do 10 to 16 miles with me, albeit on flatter roads and at a slower pace than I like. I know that it wont be long before they can keep up with me and not much longer before I cant keep up with them.

I am looking forward to my fifties to include many more adventures with my little tribe; on two feet, two wheels, two wings, whatever it takes to get there, I know I will be in good company and will always strive to be "not much different than a kid."

Firestorm: Santa Rosa

2017-12-17T23:31:00.000-08:00

"GO!GO!GO!GO!GO!" Screamed a man in plain clothes, urgently waving a flashlight to direct traffic. He was standing next to an unmarked police car with red and blue lights flashing from the grill. His car was positioned to block traffic headed southbound on Old Redwood Highway at Airport boulevard. This man, looking as if he just woke up 5 minutes ago, was obviously stressed but remained in control of the situation.

"TURN AROUND NOW!! YOU CANNOT GO THAT WAY! THERE IS A FIRE! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?!" His voice boomed. I was stuck in a line of cars in our motor-home a block back, watching in astonishment as people... panicked people, wanted to argue with this man, wanting to head south for no other reason than that is the way they wanted to go.

"YOU ARE BLOCKING TRAFFIC! MOVE NOW! YOU CANT GO SOUTH, ONLY NORTH OR WEST!" He screamed again at the car in the middle of the road, all the time waving his flashlight for cars headed north out of the fires path, to go around.

The car in the middle of the road finally listened and reluctantly moved west toward the freeway, still several cars in front of me wanted to turn left and head south into the flames; their hesitation causing continued gridlock on the main road out of the Wikiup neighborhood. I looked into my drivers' side, rear-view mirror to make sure Melanie was still behind me in my truck with the boys. Before my eyes could adjust to the stream of headlights reflecting back at me, I could see large flames leaping up from the trees on top of the hills behind us.

"GO!GO!GO!"

~~~~

After watching most of the cars trying to squeeze into two lanes headed west towards the freeway, I decided that we would turn right and head north, and into the wind. There were only a few of us that went this way, but those that did, quickly realized that this took us out of the path of the fire while providing a view of its rampage that was bearing down on our neighborhood.

We pulled into a park on the next block up and watched the sky explode into an apocalyptic firestorm beyond anything that I could have imagined. We could hear the crackling of flames mixed with explosions every twenty to thirty seconds.
There was about mile wide swath of vineyards between us and our neighborhood and by the look of the flames and the smoke, I was certain that our home and our neighbors homes, were being consumed by fire.

I made two very disturbing observations over the next four hours; first, I realized that people were dying in the flames. There was no way that everyone escaped the fire as most people did not receive any prior warning, and the fire was moving way too fast to keep ahead of.
The second, was the realization that we had not heard or seen one fire-engine. The first fire-engine that we saw was just before 6:00 am. That's when I knew the size and magnitude of this fire was beyond comprehension.
~~~~
Dawn broke with an eerie stillness. Shock, uncertainty, and disbelief intermingled with the smoke that hung heavily in the air. Apollo and Orion had finally fallen asleep after watching the fire and asking questions about it for the first few hours. The motor-home was all but quiet now except for the occasional ruffle of parrot feathers coming from the cages in the back. This was the beginning of our week in exile.

~~~~

I must mention here the incredible outpouring of love and support and offers of help that came in from friends and family all over the world. Even strangers offered to help out in any way that they could. We, my family and our zoo, were some of the lucky ones. We had time to grab our pets. We had time to grab our motor home. We had time to grab a spare change of clothing, although nothing that we grabbed for Apollo really fit him. Our motor home provided shelter. It provided a place for our 7 birds, our dog, our cat, and the 4 of us humans to wait out the fires. We were some of the luck ones.

~~~~

We spent our first two nights in exile, at Eposti Park; the park that we pulled into when we first evacuated. Even though we had many offers of places to stay, I really did not want to impose our flock of screaming, feathered, toothpick makers on anyone that we care about. After the second night in the park and realizing that we were not going to be allowed into our neighborhood anytime soon, I gave in and we parked "Melanie's Ark" in front of a friends house in Windsor, for a night, then followed her to Sebastopol to her cousins house for two nights before returning to Windsor, which allowed for some fresh air and a serene backdrop away from the fires. In all, we spent seven nights and seven days away from home.

For me, the hardest part was being trapped with the birds in the motor home. Having the birds, made it impossible for us to leave them alone for more than a couple hours at a time, as they were crammed into small carriers and needed to get out regularly to eat and drink and stretch. Had we not had the birds, we would have left the area for a camping spot on the coast, or stayed in a hotel far away from the mayhem while we awaited reentry into our neighborhood. We made do with what we had and Melanie and the boys did an amazing job taking care of our ark passengers.

Everyone deals with disasters in their own way. Some shut down. Others go into shock. Some jump in and help others. A few become hero's. I admit that I am inpatient and that I am not the type to stand around and do nothing in times like these. Feeling trapped and helpless and just waiting around, does not suit my personality at all. After taking my family to safety, All I wanted to do was to head back into the hood and help anyone that my have needed it... and yes, I did also want to see the unfolding carnage up-close and personal.

By the 3rd day post fire, I was losing my mind from boredom and lack of information...or more accurately: misinformation. I have lived through disasters before and I think in some ways, I am not as affected as others by them, by which I mean, the actual disaster doesn't traumatize me. I have great empathy for those that lost their homes and all there possessions, but having to evacuate, thinking that my house burned down the first night, thinking about the inconvenience of having to find a new place to live, to just get by with what we had with us at that moment and having to start over...none of that bothered me at all. The thoughts that ran through my head were: Where can we find a place that will let us take our birds? Will we find a home close enough that the boys can go to the same school? Should we move out of the area completely? I was never bothered by the thought of loosing all of our possessions. I like a clean slate. I realized in those predawn hours that I had everything that mattered to me: My family.

~~~~

I was able to sneak back into our neighborhood early the next morning after the initial onslaught of fire, to retrieve our fire-safe and vital documents, and to grab our jeep that we had left behind. Police had the neighborhood blocked, but due to having very few officers in place because of the scale of the burned out areas, I, along with several others, were able to sneak around the barricades and walk in. I passed several people walking out of the neighborhood as I walked toward our street. They all had a look of shock and disbelief on their faces. Most of them were pulling a suitcase on wheels, no doubt stuffed with clothing and important items or documents, but I was blown away by what a few others found important enough to take from their homes in case the fires came through: a man in his 60's had what must have been a 70" or larger TV on a hand truck wheeling it out of the neighborhood, a lady carried a dining room chair inverted and resting on her head, another guy was pulling a kids wagon loaded with hand tools and car parts. I guess they had their reasons.

A natural disaster always brings out the best in some people but also, the worst kinds of people leap into action to take advantage of the chaos. While disgusted by the latter, I was filled with pride to see the community rally and support one another. So many people volunteering, sharing, and helping. It was good to see that there are still that many people with "goodness" inside of them. It's unfortunate that, it often takes a tragedy to bring people together and remind us that we actual do care for each other.
~~~~

In the aftermath since the fires, things have returned to normal for us: We are back in our home, our boys are back at school, and we are back to normal work schedules. Thousands of others however, are still left to pick up the pieces while deciding to rebuild or cut their losses and move away. It will be a long road with many ups and downs along the way for them. Many people that we know have lost everything, and I honestly don't know what to say to them beyond "I'm sorry". I cringe when I hear others tell them, "At least you escaped with your lives", or "At least you escaped with your family and that's what really matters". I realize that most people wouldn't feel the way I do about losing all of my possessions, but I can only imagine that those sentiments are the last thing most people want to hear. I can only equate it to loosing a loved one suddenly in a tragic accident and people telling you that, "They're in a better place," or "God only calls special people home early," or "I know what you're going through." Any of those would send me off the deep end. I've lost a home in a fire. I've been in a major earthquake where my home sustained 30% of its value in damage. I've lost a sibling when we were both in our teens. I've had to endure similar comments on all occasions. As a result, I have mixed feelings when I see signs that say, "Thank you first responders!" posted in an un-burned neighborhood right next to one that was completely leveled by the fires. I understand the extreme gratitude and elation that people must have felt when they found out that their home was untouched, however, what about the houses right next door that have been reduced to rubble, maybe their beloved pets are missing too...I just wonder how those signs make them feel as they pass them on their way to sift through the ashes.

~~~~
We talk to Apollo and Orion about the fires, about how they felt while we were evacuating, about how they felt while we were away from home. They were and are, completely unaffected by the fires. Melanie and I remained calm throughout the entire process of evacuating, even though the adrenaline was flowing. I think the boys were tuned into our calmness. Apollo told us that the excitement felt like he was getting on a scary roller coaster ride where he didn't know what to expect. Orion said that he wasn't scared but he felt shaky even though he wasn't cold. We explained that they were experiencing the effects of adrenaline. They were interested in the science behind adrenaline more than the fact that we had to flee from a fire. Apollo and Orion told us that the rest of the week was like a camping trip for them and they liked bringing all of their pets with them camping.

Several of the boys friends lost homes and all of their possessions in the fire. We have discussed this extensively with the boys and pointed out how fortunate we are to have our home to spend the holidays in. It is a hard thing for them to grasp at their age, but they seem to understand and empathize. Apollo wanted to volunteer at a shelter, although he is too young, and Orion, wants to donate his bike that he has outgrown and give it to another little boy that lost his in the fire.

Going into this holiday season, I have much to be grateful for. At the top of my list, right after family and having a roof over my head, I am most thankful that our week long camping trip with all our pets, didn't turn into a more permanent living situation.

Now, more than two months later, Southern California is on fire and with just a few days left before Christmas, a new batch of families are losing homes or are left to wonder if they will lose their home before the flames are quenched. While they are in the middle of their fight, we have made huge progress in clearing lots. More than 5" of rain have fallen in November and the hills are green with new grass and the promise of a new beginning. Crews are working around the clock and hope and optimism are beginning to replace shock and despair. Lawyers and contractors are spending loads of money on marketing and advertising. The home rental market is experience unrealistic rents as insurance companies are cutting the temporary housing checks. Car dealerships are experiencing an unprecedented volley of car sales as victims are replacing vehicles lost in the fires. There is nothing like a disaster to give an unsustainable boost to the local economy.

It is my wish that amidst all the the growth and rebuilding that we can somehow manage to hold on to our humanity, to be kinder, to be more caring, to remember how we looked out for one another in the face of such devastation, to honor the catchphrases; #sonomastrong and "The love in the air is thicker than the smoke."

From the ashes, we will rise.