A.R. & Proud

Fight Fitness Fiction

2012-01-24T14:30:00.000-08:00

Weight loss is just about quality calories in, and calories out, right? Burn 3500 more calories than you eat a week and you will automatically burn a pound of fat*. Easy peasy. Sort of. Tracking calories in takes work, but can be done with a reasonable amount of accuracy. Measuring cups, food scales, and calorie guidebooks can help you master this most important and powerful part of weight loss.

WARNING: I AM GOING TO COMPLAIN FOR A BIT, FEEL FREE TO SKIP TO THE BOTTOM FOR MY GOOD ENOUGH SOLUTION TO THE PROBLEM.

Tracking calories burned is a whole other thing. First, you determine how much your body burns just sitting around. Well, my INSANITY booklet wants me to calculate my Basic Metabolic Rate (BMR), while my P90X booklet wants me to calculate my Resting Metabolic Rate (RMR) instead. Sparkpeople wants me to calculate my BMR, but TurboFire wants me to use RMR, and in Chalene Johnson's book, Push (she is the creator of TurboFire) she suggests I calculate my BMR. This is nuts! How can I determine my weight loss goals when the "experts" can't even agree on how to start!?

So, I'm forced to pick one. Let's go with BMR. Ok, so now how do I determine that? Without fancy equipment I have to use a formula decades old. Fine, fine. I will start with what is basically an estimate.

Ok, now I add how many calories I think I burn each day through exercise. Got it. Then I subtract that final number by 500. The result is how many calories a day I should eat in order to lose one pound a week.

Example:
1541 (BMR) + 300 (calories burned through exercise)=1841-500 (calorie deficit needed)=1341 calorie intake

But how do I determine calories burned during exercise? When I wear a heart rate monitor during exercise, then stick my average heart rate per total minutes in an online calculator, I get one number, when I use an online activity calculator, it comes up much higher (Example: 45 minutes of TurboFire/Kickboxing=271 calories or 582 calories.)

So now I have a guess matched with an old formula matched with another guess. It's no wonder so many people give up on weight loss. The tools aren't even consistent! Why isn't there a standard in this industry?

GOOD ENOUGH SOLUTION: Understand that weight loss principles are not an exact science. Counter this by picking the smaller of the numbers. My RMR is 1815, while my BRM is 1841, so I base everything on my RMR. As for calories burned during exercise, I choose the 271 calories. I'd rather be wrong in my favor, than against it. Track and update my numbers as needed, know that perseverance is the most important weight loss skill of all, and enjoy the god damned ride.

*This formula has also recently been called into question.

Work It Out

2012-01-17T11:49:00.000-08:00

For about 72 hours last week, I thought I might be starting a full time job. It was not to be, but in those 72 hours I quickly revamped the legs that keep the stool of my life from tipping over.

1. Access to nutritious, filling, sustaining food
Because of time constraints, I would go back to having my smoothie in the car on the way to work. I realized that my Overnight Oatmeal and Greek yogurt would make a fantastic lunch, and identified at least one place near the office where I could get some quality food. I also made up 4 lunches (Quinoa & Edamame) and stored them in the freezer for easy access.

2. Daily morning workouts
Starting with the time I was suppose to be at the office, I worked backwards to figure out what time I had to wake up so that I could get at least 30 minutes of exercise in. I also pledged to do 15 minutes of walking each day before lunch.

3. Continuing my weight loss journey
I knew that I needed to eat a reduced amount of calories in order to lose weight, but working will burn more calories than usual. So I planned on having a 200 calorie snack at 3pm, moving dinner to 6pm and possibly eliminating my 200 calorie evening snack.

Those 72 hours were crazy but I learned a lot about my priorities and feel even more ready for when I DO begin a new job.

Just Say Amen

2012-01-14T11:25:00.000-08:00

I have read many a fitness/nutrition/diet book and they usually disappoint. I don't like the 30, 60, 90 days plans because they don't teach or reinforce healthy choices long term. And most books completely overlook the most powerful thing in weight loss/fitness: your brain. This is why I am delighted to recommend, Dr. Daniel G. Amen's book, The Amen Solution: The Brain Healthy Way to Get Thinner, Smarter, Happier.

It's not particularly exciting or groundbreaking, but it groups all the things I believe about health and fitness in to one place, and stresses that you are the only one that can make any of these changes happen. He explains what salty, fat, sugary food does to your brain and body and gives you solutions to stop your cravings.

I have read many of his other books, so some of the information is a repeat, but I really think that this book has the whole package. Moreover, I appreciate his honesty: weight loss takes hard work, permanent lifestyle changes, and commitment. But it will make you feel better, have more energy and improve your mental outlook. Folks, there is no pill, powder, food or workout that will magically and effortlessly make you lose weight, gain muscle and feel energized. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you will be on your way to reaching your goal.

Fill Up With Oatmeal

2012-01-10T11:37:00.000-08:00

I love good for me/tasting food, I love making things easier, and I love saving money. My new breakfast of choice speaks to all three: Overnight Oatmeal.

Overnight Oatmeal:
1/4 cup raw oats*
1/4 cup water
140 g frozen berries/fruit

The steps are exactly the same as for my Quinoa Fruit Cereal:

I measure/weigh the oatmeal, water and berries out in to storage bowls beforehand and stack them in the fridge. When it's time to eat, I transfer one of the bowls to a microwave safe bowl and zap it for 2 minutes. Then I add a little soy milk and a lot of cinnamon. It sort of tastes like a fruit cobbler. SORT OF! I like to eat this with a side of plain Greek yogurt, green tea, and my fish oil.

The water softens the oatmeal, so it is easier to cook in the morning. I have read that you can eat it cold, but I prefer it warm. I like to alternate between this breakfast and my Quinoa Fruit Cereal. It's kept me warm and happy every day for weeks now. I'm sure you will like it too!

*Oatmeal will double in size. Since I want 1/2 cup cooked, I start with 1/4 cup of oats and 1/4 cup of water.

Warm Up With Quinoa

2011-12-18T09:15:00.000-08:00

As much as I love my morning smoothies, they tend to make me cold when I drink them. That, combined with a super sweaty body works great in the fall/spring and summer, but not so great in the cold of winter. But with fruit so scarce this time of year, I still wanted to use my frozen berries, so I created

Quinoa Fruit Cereal
1/2 cup cooked quinoa
140g frozen berries/fruit

I measure/weigh the quinoa and berries out in to storage bowls beforehand and stack them in the fridge. When it's time to eat, I transfer one of the bowls to a microwave safe bowl and zap it for 2 minutes. Then I add a little soy milk and a lot of cinnamon. It sort of tastes like a fruit cobbler. SORT OF! I like to eat this with a side of plain Greek yogurt, green tea, and my fish oil.

I get my fiber (fruit + quinoa), I get a filling portion of protein (yogurt + quinoa), and I get antioxidants, minerals and such (fruit + cinnamon + quinoa) AND I don't start the day off freezing to death.

Start The Insanity

2011-12-12T09:15:00.000-08:00

As you know, I don't do exercise "programs" as prescribed by the creators. I believe that pushing yourself to extremes for 30, 60, or 90 days is a recipe for burnout, frustration and injury. I prefer to take the routines included in the program and fit them into my ongoing program. Let's call it Fit365.

But because these exercise programs are so frustrating to people, friends have been kind enough to gift them to me. One of these programs is INSANITY.

Mostly a cardio program, INSANITY is essentially a series of sports drills. It's easy to follow along, there are no complicated moves like in TurboFire, and since you basically do the drills over and over, just at a faster pace, you don't have to think too much. (Which some days, is just what I'm looking for.)

INSANITY is a HIGH IMPACT program. Unlike most programs, there is no one doing a low impact version of the exercises. So I just make up my own modifications (like I do if I am taking a class) and yes, I still get very sweaty. In general, the program reminds me of my high school sports training which, interestingly enough is how I got my ouchy knees. I am always conscious of getting a good workout while not going too far.

Shaun T. talks a lot, but because he is breathing hard and panting so much, some how it comes off as adorable. (He pants so much, that Beachbody has added a subtitle option to the DVD menu.)

At around 15 minutes all the guys start taking their shirts off. This is good for motivation but bad if you find yourself stopping what you are doing to stare at their ripped bodies. The ladies start off scantily clad, there generally is nothing left for them to shed and still make it a family friendly DVD.

All in all, it's a nice basic program. And a nice complement to P90X (which is mostly strength training). I'm very grateful to the friend that gave me her discarded copy. And I plan on using it a lot. I would have never shelled out $150 for it, so I'm happy I was able to get it another way.

Don't Masque Your Man

2011-12-10T14:18:00.000-08:00

I was reading Redbook magazine the other day when I saw an ad for a product called Masque that made me do a double take. Masque is a "orally dissolvable, flavored gel strip...that conceals any unpleasant flavors associated with your man and his subsequent climax."

What the heck? A gel strip to mask the taste of semen?

I'm used to the marketing ploy that women should be given favors for sex ("Expect flowers tomorrow."- Masque) and the misguided notion that a women's vulva/vagina should look and smell like fruit (Exotic Kiwi!) flowers (White blossom!) and rainbows (Sporty Fresh!).
(These are actual scents from Summer's Eve, and FDS.)

BUT, never in my brief 36 years have I ever heard, read, or seen anything in the mainstream media that would ever suggest that anything regarding the taste, smell or look of a naturally occurring male sexual function needed to be fixed. I am dumbfounded.

I'm not saying I disagree with the notion that semen can taste "bad", I'm just saddened that a company is turning it into a full fledged issue. And cashing in on it at $4 a sucralose filled strip. Each strip only lasts 15 minutes, so no pressure boys, but you'd better get to it quickly!

Getting complaints that your semen tastes bad? Is your partner reluctant to even give it a try? Here's a tip: Stop asking about it every 5 minutes, take a shower before bed, stop smoking, and stop eating crappy food. Yes, that's right! The same thing that helps with fitness, heart health, mood, cravings, depression, pretty much anything, helps with less than lovely tasting semen.

And if your partner still isn't interested, know that for various reasons some people just don't like it. There is nothing wrong with you and there is nothing wrong with your partner. Each person has their own sexual preferences and those needs to be honored.

Bring It With You

2011-12-04T11:36:00.000-08:00

I have been looking for a personal cooler for a while. My old lunch one is way too small for the amount of food I like to have on hand, and our big one is way too big. I've been making do by filling an old brown paper gift bag (ironically labeled "Martin"). I fill it with plastic containers of chopped veggies and other snacks for when we go to play board games at Guardian Games, to work related game nights, or to the mall (which is a handy place to play board games in the heat of the summer).

But I finally found a keeper: The Thermos Raya 9 can cooler.

(The dots are correct, the color is not.)

It was tested throughout Thanksgiving and came through with flying colors. I am currently eating around 1,100 calories a day in order to lose weight. It can be hard not to eat when those around you are, so I munched on celery, carrots, and radishes while my family gorged on Brie and crackers. I love the happy dots and I love that I have control over what I am eating in any situation that comes my way.

FYI: There are also coolers that stay cool by plugging in to the cigarette lighter in your car. If I drove a lot for business or pleasure, I would get one in a heartbeat.

Be Sensible About Your Sensitivity

2011-11-29T10:23:00.001-08:00

I've been blogging now for 4 years (Happy Anniversary to me!) and I suppose it's time to clear something up. I'm not really Anal Retentive. Yes, I've been called A.R. a million times, but what I really am is a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). According to Elaine Aron, author of The Highly Sensitive Person, 1 out of 5 of us is Highly Sensitive.

I was always pegged as a shy girl (it really depends on the situation), I still have memories of hating New York City because of the crowds, and I have a magical reaction when listening to music. But I never knew what was going on, just that I seemed to be different than others.

Many years ago, my Mom totally called it. She even bought me the book by Elaine Aron. But how did I react? I missed the point entirely and was instead offended that she would suggest such a thing. Even though Aron talks about being a HSP in a positive way, the world had already taught me that being sensitive was a bad thing.

Fast forward a few years to another book: Human Dynamics by Sandra Seagal & David Horne. After reading through the various personality types, I quickly found myself: Emotional-Subjective. To paraphrase: master of interpersonal communication, highly intuitive, often overwhelmed by too much stimuli.

I cried when I read the description. There on the page, I read explanations for things I could never understand. There wasn't anything wrong with me! I wasn't broken. It was just my personality type. And thus began my process of understanding and embracing my personality traits.

So now I try my best to amplify the positives and reduce the negatives.

For example:

I am highly sensitive to caffeine: So I normally avoid it. However, in the days before my menstrual cycle, when my body needs extra energy, I use it to help my body along.

I am highly sensitive to images in TV/movies:
I avoid violence on screen and instead get a daily dose of anything that makes me laugh. Preferably out loud.

I am highly sensitive to stress and endorphins:
I have added monthly massages and almost daily exercise to my life because it reduces the stress and releases those feel good endorphins.

Embracing my true self has made all the difference in the world for me.

If you think that you or a loved one are a HSP, I highly suggest you
take the self test, grab her book, or just peruse her web-site.

The Human Dynamics book is worth its weight in gold and I will forever be grateful to the person who brought it into my life.

Fill Your Arsenal

2011-11-17T11:32:00.000-08:00

My current exercise program consists of:

Weekly:
2-3 sessions of weight training (30-60 minutes depending on # of reps)
4 sessions of cardio (30-60 minutes depending on intensity)
Stretching after every workout.

My weight training workouts come from the 12 programs I have complied in a notebook. They are usually from fitness magazines or based off of exercise DVDs. (I tired of the trainer, but not the moves.) I cycle through these every 6 weeks. There are only so many weight training moves, so most of the workouts just use different "props" (medicine ball, body weight, resistance bands, etc.) but that helps stave off boredom. And I am ever mindful of adding more weight or more reps so that I continue to challenge myself and build muscle and endurance.

For the cardio, I have now collected 4 Beachbody fitness programs.

While I did buy the TurboFire DVD set and the Turbo Jam Cardio Party 2 DVD, the rest came from friends who were inspired by the infomercials, ordered the set, but then never used it because they felt it was too difficult or that they didn't have enough space in their house.

So when it's a cardio day, I pick one of the DVDs from my arsenal. I've been cycling through the Turbo Jam, TurboFire, and Insanity sets, since P90X has a limited amount of cardio. (And Tony Horton drives me insane.)

No, I'm not doing the exercise programs as "prescribed," but I'm not looking for a program for 60-90 days, I'm looking for a program for life. This keeps the routines varied, keeps me from getting bored, and keeps me moving!

If you have multiple Beachbody DVD sets and want to follow a more structured approach, there are various hybrid programs, e.g. the P90X/Insanity Hybrid that you can find for free here.

Squeeze In Your Omega-3s

2011-11-14T10:51:00.000-08:00

I finally decided to start taking fish oil supplements. But I'm not a huge fan of fish and after a recent episode where I threw up my POM Wonderful smoothie because the Flax seed oil I added to it had gone bad, I wasn't really looking forward to taking more oil.

Which brings me to Coromega Omega3 Squeeze (orange flavored).

I learned about it from the Women's Health Magazine supplement that comes with your magazine order. The reviews on Amazon were outstanding, so I located some at my nearby Walgreen's and squeezed away.

I've taken it now for 3 weeks.

Flavor: It does taste somewhat like a creamsicle, but the citric acid has a bit of a kick to it. Doesn't taste like fish at all, no fish burbs at all.

Mood/Body changes: Nothing yet. But I think I need to have it in my system for more than 30 days before anything really happens.

Would I buy again?: Of course! If I don't feel any changes after 3 months I may re-evaluate, but I actually look forward to eating this fish oil!

Make Your Smoothies Wonderful

2011-11-07T10:26:00.000-08:00

I have been a fan of POM Wonderful ever since it came out years ago. Pomegranate juice is wonderful for you for all sorts of reasons. Although the juice is available all year round, I like to buy it in the fall. It's a nice change from all the apples and pears I'm eating and it's often on sale. I continue to buy POM Wonderful because they don't use fillers (apple juice, white grape juice, etc.) just Pomegranate juice (and the other juice mentioned on the bottle).

That being said, it can be a hard juice to drink. It's quite tart. I used to make Pom spritzers, (some juice + sparkling water) and this year I'm making smoothies.

POM Wonderful Smoothie

4 oz. (1/2 cup) POM Wonderful (I prefer the 100% Pom or Pom/Cranberry)
140 g. (1 cup) Frozen berries/cherries (I prefer Trader Joe's Very Cherry mix)
113 g. (1/2 cup) 1% Plain yogurt
Splash of water
Tbsp of ground Cinnamon

Throw it all in the blender, blend and enjoy!

Makes one serving:
Calories ~ 235, Carbohydrates- 50

Count On It

2011-10-18T18:42:00.000-07:00

I made turkey stock from a Thanksgiving turkey a while back, and recently also made ham stock. Making stock is so incredibly easy (put cooked carcass in pot, cover with water, simmer for 2 hours, strain out bits, skim off fat) and it tastes so good that when we recently bought a rotisserie chicken, I made stock out of that too!

Normally I would make a soup out of the stock, throw in some veggies, some beans, some meat, some pasta and call it done. But since I am currently on a reduced calorie diet I had to think up a new way to assemble it. I thought about preparing each soup individually. This way I could count the calories/carbohydrates for the beans and pasta. And I thought about just letting it go. But then it dawned on me! Why not add something to the soup that is easy to count out ... pot stickers*!

So, this weekend we will be having chicken and pot sticker soup with sauteed mushrooms, and bok choy. I can cook it all up at once, and can easily count out the pot stickers to determine calories and carbohydrates.

Problem solved!

* tortellini or ravioli will also work, but depending on size, may take longer to count out.

Listen To Yourself

2011-10-14T15:12:00.000-07:00

I realized the other day that half of the spam emails I get are about getting smaller ("Lose 15 lbs. in 2 days!") and the other half are about getting larger ("Gain width and inches with this potent pill!") The implied urgency of these emails, along with main stream media backing these messages up (Rogaine for eyelashes? Really?? Don't we have other things to spend our time on?) can make your brain a hectic, anxious place.

How about we cut out all the noise and just listen to ourselves?

I bet you will find that these "problems" don't really exist after all.

Expect the Unexpected

2011-10-06T16:14:00.000-07:00

I had a job interview yesterday at an ad agency in Portland, OR. and hours later find myself baffled at something that happened. Was I amazed that I could hear dogs barking off and on for the four hours I was in the office? No, I knew it was a dog friendly office, and frankly, Portland is a dog friendly town, so while it was a bit different, it certainly wasn't unexpected.

Was I baffled by the fact that my interviews took place inside a huge art installation, made of sticks and branches, aka "The Nest"?


From Interior Design

No. While it was certainly trippy, it wasn't unexpected. So what was this thing that was so shocking? This thing that I'm still baffled at right now?

Well, one of my interviewers has a daughter with the same name as me. Same name, same pronunciation, everything. I have never met anyone with my name before (abbreviations and fake names like Lia19 do not count).

When I was little, if I wanted to see my name in print, I was forced to cut the "Lia" out of Parliament Lights cigarette magazine ads. My favorite countries included SomaLIA and AustraLIA. And my favorite song was, Leah, by Roy Orbison (even though he spelled it wrong).

Since then, I've only seen my name in mainstream media three times. Lia Huber, writer for Cooking Light Magazine, Lia Sophia (a jewelry company named after the founder's two daughters) and more recently a guest on the Dr. Oz show. It was so strange to see my name on TV, that I literally couldn't change the channel. Even as I squirmed uncomfortably while he told TV Lia that the "Real Age" of her vagina (due to poor diet, being overweight, etc.) was 87, I still stayed on the channel.

So even though these thoughts raced through my head, I did not share them with the interviewer. Instead I finished the interview and told him to tell his daughter that she has the most beautiful name ever.

But to get used to being called Lisa.

Watch it, Tiger

2011-09-26T15:37:00.001-07:00

I have lots of tricks to combat muscle and back soreness (massage, foam roller, Pilates videos, heat packs, ice packs, and Advil) and now I've added another one to my arsenal: Tiger Balm. I originally heard about Tiger Balm from a friend, when she heard me complaining of extreme back pain (turns out, I had broken a disc in my vertebra, and needed surgery for the fix) and heard of it again recently, on Dr. Oz.

Essentially, it is a herbal version of Icy Hot (only, it never gets cold). I have found that you have to put just the right amount of the ointment on, to get it to do its thing. And its thing? A burning sensation (in a good way). It feels like I have a heating pad on my back even though I don't. And it's great for when I want to be mobile because trying to tie the heating pad on to my back with ace bandages doesn't work so well.

The only drawback is, it "may stain cloth" scratch that, IT DOES STAIN! So skip the red version and get the white one, and you won't have to sit on towels for fear of staining the couch.

Knowledge Transforms

2011-09-12T18:52:00.000-07:00

In three short months I have gone from someone terrified of guns to someone that loves "shooting holes through paper." And I owe lots of it to Mark and Mike at Cascades Firearms Training they were patient with me during the day long NRA Basic Pistol Course, and didn't push me when I was terrified to touch the open and unloaded guns sitting on the table. Because they were so patient, I was able to get comfortable with a situation I had only seen in movies and on T.V. (i.e. being near a real gun). And eventually, we went to the range and I was able to actually shoot. Yes, I was nervous (my blood sugar skyrocketed from the stress), but they didn't push me and I stopped when I'd had enough.

Their knowledge, attention to safety, and respect of firearms made me trust them, and thus trust myself. And that has made my journey in to plinking (shooting paper targets) that much sweeter.

You Can Take It With You

2011-09-06T18:10:00.000-07:00

On a recent family trip to The Wayfarer Resort in Vida, OR I packed many things. Clothing, food, books ... the usual stuff. But my two new favorite additions were my Polder Pocket Size Digital Scale and my Turbo Jam exercise DVDs. I used the digital scale multiple times a day (as I do with my full size one at home) which meant I knew how much insulin to bolus and my blood sugars stayed consistent (which makes life so much easier).

Thankfully, the weather was nice enough to go for a walk every morning, but just knowing I had a back up in case of rain made me feel confident that my exercise routine would continue (which also helps my blood sugars stay consistent, which makes life easier).

So don't dump your fitness and health routine if you are going on vacation, take it with you!

Thank Your Honey

2011-09-02T17:52:00.000-07:00

One of my pet peeves is a "public" bathroom that does not have a hook for bags. I often have to go to the bathroom, and I often carry a bag. I've managed to balance my bag on things, hang it on doorknobs, etc. but was pretty much baffled with how to manage a port-a-potty, "Martin can you hold this?" was as good as it got.

Then one day at The English Pit (an outdoor shooting range in Vancouver, WA) while I was using the facilities, I looked up ... and behold ... there was a hook (and a mirror). I haven't done a lot of research, but I can say that not all port-a-potties have this lovely hook. So far, only Honey Bucket brand ones do.

And so I say, thanks, Honey.

The Library Loves You Too

2011-08-30T12:01:00.000-07:00

I have always had a deep love of the public library system here in the United States. I'm a bit of a book addict and I love having a huge supply of books without having to actually store any in our house. And now, just when I didn't think I could love my library any more, it has gifted me with a way to feed my need for new workout music and my intense dislike of having to pay for it. Enter: freegal music!

With my library card I am able to download 3 songs a week for "free" (granted: the taxes I pay for the library go towards paying) from various Song Music Entertainment artists.

For my first week, I chose:

Hall and Oates: Maneater
Adele: Rolling In The Deep
Britney Spears: Toxic*

I use the Fort Vancouver, WA library system, but check out your local library to see if they are participating in this program!

*My intense love of this new program supersedes my embarrassment of adding Britney to my playlist.

De-Green Your House

2011-08-22T11:10:00.000-07:00

Here in Vancouver, WA we are not only blessed with green outside of the house (moss) but inside as well (hard water). Almost every sink, shower and toilet we have has green stains in it. When we moved in to the house, we thought perhaps the previous owners were using the tub to die things green. But I did some Internet searching and found out they were mineral deposits.

So, I tried the gentle approach: soap & water, vinegar, baking soda, but nothing could remove the stains. I tried Oxi Clean, I tried bleach, and then I tried CLR. While CLR did make a dent on some of the stains, it was not a slam dunk. What finally turned our toilet from nasty green and brown to a sparkling white was a pumice stone and about 2 hours of elbow grease. I used the bathroomstone by Earthstone, it was only about $4, but it did such a great job I would have paid $100.

As for outside, I scraped up the big moss with a paint stirrer, then swept the concrete patio. I applied Oxi Clean and water to the patio, brushed the solution around, let it sit for an hour, then hosed it off. It certainly made a difference, but it didn't make it all go away. So I had to use chlorine bleach mixed with water on the trouble spots.

All in all, I'm happy with the results, and I'm happy to know what actually works!

It Has Nothing To Do With You

2011-08-06T23:09:00.000-07:00

I usually try not to post things late at night, but after a day of nursing a wicked cold my mind is swirling with various topics. And the best way to get it to quiet down is by getting one out.

In the past few years I have a handful of friends who have essentially freaked out on me. After asking my opinion about weight loss or health, and not liking my answer (to lose weight you need to reduce the calories you are eating) they have called me names, unfriended/blocked me from various social networks, and stopped talking to me. And as much as these actions sting, I know that they have nothing to do with me. Each person is scared and/or in pain and it's much easier to lash out at someone than to stop and hear the truth (you are the only one responsible for the choices you make).

So I back off and hope that they find those magical tenants. That they need to put themselves first in life, that accepting responsibility opens many doors, and that they have the power within them to attain the goals they want so desperately.

And every once in awhile, a friend returns. And I bask in the glow of their new found self. And it makes me hopeful that more will do the same. Not because I want to hear that I was right, but because I want to hear that they found their happiness.

Don't Be So Blind

2011-07-21T12:24:00.000-07:00

This story is almost too embarrassing to tell. But, I will tell it anyway. When my husband and I moved in to our house over 8 years ago, I found a stash of extra vertical blinds in a closet. Over the years, some of the blinds in the windows have broken or gone missing. I would remember that we possibly had some extra ones in the closet, but it seemed like such a monumental task. How would I get the little notches cut in the top of blinds? How would I cut them to length? It was just way too complicated. So I ignored them.

Well today, I finally actually opened the package of extra blinds. Turns out they already had the notch cut in them, and that you can cut vinyl blinds with your trusty scissors (thank you, Internet). So, it took me 15 minutes to fix/replace the four blinds that were missing. And I now have an empty shelf in the closet.

While I am embarrassed that it took me 8 years to be sensible and actually open the package, mostly I am glad to have them finished!

Contemplate Calmness

2011-07-18T10:43:00.000-07:00

Although I usually didn't use Twitter or Facebook very much on the weekend anyway, I was still wondering if I would suffer from withdrawal symptoms after deleting both accounts.

The only side effects seem to be calmness and random thoughts that have no place to go. Occasionally I will remember that I forgot to grab a email address from my Facebook account or realize I won't be able to see updated pictures, but then I remind myself that I am working on strengthening relationships in real life, and that there are other ways to get this information, if I really need it.

When I am on the computer (to study for my HAM radio exam, pay bills, etc.) my time is much shorter and I don't feel so drained afterwards. And that pull that I used to feel in the back of my mind, wondering if someone needed me for something (in the form of a Twitter/Facebook message) is gone.

If I am truly needed, I can be easily alerted.

The false sense of urgency and importance has receded and that makes me much calmer. My desire to write blog posts has returned, and for that I am grateful.

Have a lovely day!

Toss Out Twitter

2011-07-15T07:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, after almost four years of daily use, I deleted my Twitter and Facebook accounts.
I deleted them for two main reasons:

The Shift Away From Unique Content

I was dragged kicking and screaming on to Twitter but thoroughly enjoyed it for many years. I was able to make connections with people I would not have otherwise met, I learned new and exciting things, and I laughed a lot. When Twitter added the Lists feature (essentially a popularity system) I knew things were heading in a direction I wouldn't enjoy. When Twitter switched to New Twitter, I immediately switched back. It was becoming too commercialized, too ad focused. Content was also shifting away from original content. People were linking their numerous other social media profiles and their various smart phone applications to their Twitter/Facebook accounts. My Twitter and Facebook streams were becoming fields of automatic messages. And to me these messages screamed, Look at me! Look at me! Validate that I am important!!! The escalating noise eventually drowned out any actual signal.

The Way I Was Using It

Although I cut my use of social media a lot in the past year, I still spent at least 4 hours a day on it. I didn't like how I was spending my time: looking at other people's children instead of doing the work it would take to have some of my own, sending out quick updates to online friends but never finding the time to actually call a friend. Recently, and much to my disgust, when my husband was frustrated with me, I actually thought, "It's OK that he's upset, because I have friends on Twitter that think I'm funny."

What began four years ago as a neat way to connect with people had turned into a hollow excuse for not having to be alone, a way to keep me occupied so I wouldn't have to think about whether I was living the life I wanted. And this constant barrage of information made me tired, so tired that when I did have the opportunity to see people I was already half drained.

Deleting the Facebook account was easy. It took me longer to decide to delete my Twitter account. I was actually shaking when I did it, like I was cutting away a safety net.

So today marks the first day of my silence on social media. The first day of re-establishing and nurturing relationships in "real" life. I considered deleting this blog also, but have decided it will stay. I enjoy sharing things with people, I just needed to eliminate the garbage, slow the merry go round down and spend more time with myself.

FYI: Sherry Turkle wrote a fabulous book about many of the issues I just talked about: Alone Together: Why We Expect More From Technology And Less From Each Other. I highly recommend it.