Arabian Monkey

The Five Most Frightening (Future) Mass Murderers of All Time

Thu, 10 Apr 2008 00:42:32 CDT

Charles Whitman, Julio Gonzales, Mama Cass. These are just a few names of those who have killed innocent people and/or buffet lines. The Douginator gives you five more to worry about in the future.

Max Power Movie Reviews: Semi-Pro, Atonement, Interview

Sat, 5 Apr 2008 17:38:27 CDT

Max Power reviews a set of hit-or-miss movies, featuring Will Ferrell's most recent flop Semi-Pro, 2007's insta-classic Atonement, and Interview, Steve Buscemi's directorial debut.

Interview with a Presidential Candidate: The Light Party's Da Vid

Thu, 3 Apr 2008 14:51:25 CDT

Maybe you were thinking, "Man, I want someone in the Oval Office who would take Ecstasy." Your prayers are about to be answered! The Douginator interviews The Light Party's Da Vid.

Ten Vegetables That I Ain't Eatin'

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 23:21:43 CDT

Screw vegetables. A real man's diet is anchored with red meat, not green, stringy, leafy stuff. The Gerk takes a look at ten veggies that aren't ever going to cross his lips.

Beer Reviews: Volume 2

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 10:21:31 CDT

Every American man loves three things: outdoor hockey games, $.50 wing nights, and ice cold beer. Here at Arabian Monkey we would love to cover all three, but for right now we'll just stick to the brewed stuff. This time around, The Gerk and Demonic Laughter review some imported beer, namely Weihenstephaner Kristall Weissbier, Dragon's Milk, and Labatt Blue.

Max Power Movie Reviews: There Will Be Blood, Becoming Jane, and Fargo

Mon, 10 Mar 2008 08:33:00 CDT

There Will Be Blood may not have won "Best Picture" at the Oscars, but rest assured that Arabian Monkey's movie reviewer Max Power believes it is definitely worth the price of admission. For this batch of movie reviews, Max also critiques Becoming Jane and takes a look back at a classic comedy, Fargo.

Celebrity Slam: Round 3

Sat, 8 Mar 2008 14:17:13 CST

Max Power is back in action with another round of celebrity trash talking. This time he features the shitty music of Avril Lavigne, Matthew McConaughey's terrible new clothing line, and Whoopi Goldberg's snub from the 2008 Oscars.

Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey Fights to Save Vampires Everywhere & Seeks the Help of The U.N. to Form a Vampire Nation

Tue, 4 Mar 2008 23:43:50 CST

Our buddy Jonathon has been up busy lately. The Arabian Monkey Press Association has the report.

ArabianMonkey.com Invention: Toothpaste Flavored Poptarts

Mon, 3 Mar 2008 14:05:06 CST

Oh no! You woke up an hour late! You need to eat breakfast and get the smell of cheap booze and beef jerky off of your breath- but you only have time for one or the other! Toothpaste Flavored Poptarts just may be the perfect solution.

ArabianMonkey.com Invention: The Lenny Kravitz Blocker

Sat, 1 Mar 2008 13:35:27 CST

Sick and tired of your friends playing crappy Lenny Kravitz music on your computer? So are we. The Douginator has created The Lenny Kravitz Blocker for Mozilla Firefox users.

Cuba Should Continue to Stand Against U.S. Imperialism

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 10:15:31 CST

Do any of you remember a writer who went by the pseudonym Jesus Shuttlesworth? Check the "About Us" section if you've forgotten, or click the above link for his latest political tirade. The victim this time? The United States' relationship with Fidel Castro and Cuba.

What Type of Scientologist Are You?

Sat, 23 Feb 2008 16:31:03 CST

Are you bat-shit crazy? Maybe you're a Scientologist! The Douginator helps you discover your inner Xenu and guides you to a State of Clear.

Six Guys I Would Go Gay For

Sun, 17 Feb 2008 15:45:45 CST

Some guys would prop a tent in any man's pants, and those on this list assuredly meet that criteria. Demonic Laughter explores his alternative lifestyle in this article intended to spark a debate over the validity of man-crushes.

Aesop's Erotic Fables: "The Tortoise and The Hare"

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 13:51:55 CST

It is a little known fact that when Aesop wrote his legendary fables thousands of years ago, he initially crafted them to be short stories of the trashy romance genre. In this edition of Aesop's Erotic Fables, The Gerk is proud to present one of the original texts of "The Tortoise and The Hare."

The Top Ten Date Movies of All-Time

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 08:42:10 CST

As Arabian Monkey's movie connoisseur, Max Power knows the best films for every occasion. A hot, steamy date is no exception- behold, the top ten date movies of all-time.