ArchiFailure

tjtweety02

2012-02-06T19:24:00.001-06:00

hi dear friend
http://www.sonicsyntax.com/fordpostope.php?cumuinID=29

Tue, 7 Feb 2012 2:24:24
_____________________
"I can set it pretty rank, said Raymond, speaking to Madam Rachel at the window, and then, I think, he can make it run smooth." (c) BOBBY workam

Mildew Habitat

2010-04-26T00:02:00.001-05:00

Edible roofing seems like a bad idea.

So I guess wood shingles can be nice but they really don't work in the wetter parts of the country. Here is one of many examples of moss and mildew taking over. Yuck.

White Chimney. Really?

2010-04-26T00:01:00.001-05:00

The drapes don't match the carpet.

People are apparently so embarrassed that they don't have a masonry chimney that they resort to wrapping their furnace exhaust pipe with a metal box that has a brick pattern on it. OK, fine. Would it be too much to ask that they at least attempt to match the fake brick to the real brick on the building? Well, there are only 4 more payments left on the statue; maybe then they can spring for a new fake metal chimney box.

DIY Chimney

2010-04-18T17:45:00.001-05:00

Hmmm, plywood: interesting choice for a chimney.

There is a little plywood action on the exterior walls as well. Points for consistency I guess. This just looks nasty.

Fast-Food Mystery Hole

2010-04-10T10:39:00.001-05:00

I'm not sure I want to know what lives in thereAn Archifailure and code violation all in one. I am thinking that, as a restaurant owner, large rat-sized entry portals at ground level are to be avoided.

The Upside-Down Roof

2010-04-10T10:33:00.000-05:00

I think it is a bad sign when your building makes more sense when viewed from a headstand.

OK, two things. First, what is with the massive masonry thing on the roof above a much smaller masonry pier? Also, it really looks strange to be on top of the roof overhang. Secondly, what is with the weird angle of the roof? I think if you are a person that is not clear about how gravity works, then Architecture might not be for you.

MEGA Addition

2010-04-08T17:26:00.019-05:00

Way to blend-in the new part.

Think that you don't need an architect? See above. I especially love the crazy walkway colonnade thingy with the decrepit metal access stairs (click the bottom picture to get a better view). Bonus points for the awesome landscaping.

Box of Rocks

2010-03-28T18:16:00.001-05:00

Well, it's cheaper than a window… oh, wait, not really.

This just makes my skin crawl. There is an area of north suburban Chicago where this 'aesthetic' was quite popular at one time. I really can't figure it out. Maybe they just ran out of ideas of how to jazz up a yellow brick elevation. The answer is, of course, BOX OF ROCKS!!!

Sometimes by themselves, sometimes to reduce the troublesome effect of light coming into the building, the rectangle of boulders stuck up on a wall did the trick. Puke.

la porte cochère est hors de proportion

2010-03-28T18:10:00.001-05:00

I am all for not getting wet when you get out of the car but this design is a bit overkill.
I think if the roof of the thing was a bit lower or not so thick, it might have been ok. It almost looks like they thought the building was going to be two stories, and then they changed their minds but the Porte Cochere was already built so they just left it.

Sick Brick 02

2010-03-25T15:35:00.002-05:00

Again, please don't paint your brick.

The paint just holds the moisture in and freeze/thaw does the rest. Don't even start to tell me that you will do such a good job sealing up the wall so no moisture will get in; it never happens.

Inside Out Columns

2010-03-24T22:01:00.004-05:00

Now this is just stupid.

Good luck waterproofing those slanted column/window situations. Come on, did the window really have to be slanted? Not every unsual idea is a good idea: case in point.

Garden Shed Chic

2010-03-21T18:11:00.002-05:00

If the garden shed is good enough for the lawn mower, it is good enough for the whole building.

Maybe it is like a secret entrance; go into the garden shed and, like magic, you are in the building. It is like they were trying to incorporate every material from the Home Depot into a building elevation. It is extra sad that this is a condominium and not an apartment.

Get a Good Look at the Chimney Pipe

2010-03-17T13:10:00.003-05:00

You really got to keep an eye on the mechanical sub-contractor

So, you have to admire the person who decided that it was not a problem to run the chimney pipe 6 inches in front of a window. Maybe the chimney pipe inspector lives there.

Mystery Roof

2010-03-12T17:43:00.002-06:00

It's a roof, it's a bridge, it's just a bad idea.

This goes into the 'what were they thinking' file. I especially like the deflection in the 'roof'; it would be a relief if it would just collapse. So, so, so bad.

Downspout Downer

2010-03-12T17:39:00.003-06:00

They are just trying too hard.

Where to start with this one.... The step cracking in the masonry, the painted masonry, the L O N G runner that looks crazy. I especially like conduit that runs through the scupper; so tacky.

MEGA CHIMNEY

2010-03-10T09:13:00.004-06:00

Overkill called and they want their chimney back.

Points for the hovering front door as well. I'm thinking in a few years this guy will put on a 4 car garage to complete the look.

Behold the Floating Chimney!

2010-02-26T15:15:00.002-06:00

Seriously?

We have talked about the fake thing before. Again, if you have to design a fake version of something, and that something is heavy (as an example: a 20 foot tall pile of stone and mortar), I'm thinking that it will look, what's the word.... STUPID, if it seems to be floating above the ground. Just call me a gravity realist.

No way the Architect Drew the Door This Way

2010-02-24T20:43:00.009-06:00

Sorry to get all Architect, but this is just stupid.

Look at the top of the door frame; it was designed to be taller than it could have been so that the bricks would work out. Obviously, the mason was not being a team player the day this was built. I hate when they resort to cutting a perfectly good brick to stick In above the door frame. This just makes me crazy…..

The Amazing Floating Column

2010-02-23T23:36:00.009-06:00

Anti-gravity!

I am not generally a fan of fake columns, but they have a place I suppose. One tip though; If you are going to go the fake route, please, please make sure that it actually touches the ground. Seriously, they even poured a little fake foundation for the fake column. so sad.

Sick Brick

2010-02-23T23:30:00.006-06:00

Friends don't let friends paint brick.

I'm thinking it would be ok to call the tuckpointer now, like right now.
I like how the 'Chicago Common' brick in this picture are busting out of their painty situation, yearning to be free.

Mystery Leak

2010-02-22T15:58:00.007-06:00

I went and checked the vent and it looks fine. The next day it rained and there was a leak. I don't get it????

It is just like what my favorite high school teacher used to tell me: 'when you are done, take a step back and look at what you have done: does it look right?'

Good thing they merged those downspouts together, you know, so they will work better.

2010-02-19T14:09:00.023-06:00

I don't understand?!? This detail worked so well in Arizona.

This is an amazing example of why you have to keep the warm air on the inside of the building. The insulation guy kind of dropped the ball on this one.

Downspout Problem Solving

2010-02-18T16:56:00.006-06:00

Elegant!

This is what happens when you don't hire your architect during construction. Coordination, Coordination, Coordination!!!

Drainage in the Forth Dimension

2010-02-18T16:49:00.006-06:00

Oh so close!

I like how the roofer apparently thinks that the gutter-downspout connection is optional.

Scupper-rific

2010-02-18T16:04:00.006-06:00

It is so nice to see that at least some developers still respect craftsmanship.

Scuppers are like the illegitimate children of drains, but that is no reason to totally disrespect this PERMANENT detail. This building is 3 years old!