are things complicated yet?

I think I can stop fretting about dressing Charlotte in Claire's old clothes and not being able to tell which child is which when I'm 70

2012-01-22T17:13:52-06:00

I got Charlotte's 6-month photos in the mail the other day, from my AMAZING photographer Angela Majerus. Charlotte continues to look a little less like her sister each time we put her in front of good lighting and someone that doesn't shoot in Green Square Mode. I still see similarities, but they're not as strong as they used to be.

Here they are at 6-months. Claire on the left, Charlotte on the right (in both).

Really, when we started with newborns that looked like identical twins, I think it's amazing how different they are turning out to be, which is probably the dumbest statement of the century. KIDS ARE DIFFERENT. HOW ABOUT THAT?

(Charlotte on the left, Claire on the right.)

It's rodeo season here in Texas

2012-01-19T21:31:41-06:00

The Ft Worth Stock Show and Rodeo is kind of a big deal around here. It's a big Ft Worth thing that Ft Worth people get really into and there's lots of money involved and lots of kids and their FFA animals. Lots of cowboy hats, $1,000 boots, belt buckles the size of dinner plates (no, really), $50,000 mowers on display etc. Very TEXAS-Y. Very fun.

We went last year and actually went to the rodeo but it was waaaaay too loud for Claire. We should have brought her headset she uses in the airplane, but we hadn't counted on our seats being directly underneath a gigantic speaker. (Incidentally, the headset is a great deal for $16 and useful in LOTS of situations if your kid is noise-averse, Claire has worn hers at baseball games, fireworks, concerts, etc. Anywhere there is a speaker system or clapping.) This year we skipped the rodeo and just looked at animals.

There was a lot to look at in here: ducklings, baby chicks, eggs in an incubator (hatching!), a GIGANTIC SCARY ASS TURKEY (now I know when a turkey is spooked into trying to fly, its wings make the most AWFUL flappy-feathery-gross sound oh my god birds are so disgusting), lambs and piglets.

Piggies!

I didn't know these existed, did you? (We didn't get one.)

(And, speaking of Red Velvet, you really need to go read this about Maggie's pastry chef sister and a customer that was, um, confused about what a Red Velvet cake is. Oh my gosh, people can be so stupid.)

Lots of FFA trailers were unloading today, getting ready to show livestock over the weekend.

Charlotte wore her pink cowboy hat. Claire wore a pearl-snap shirt. (What? You don't have western wear in several sizes for your children?)

I think maybe I'll take the girls back next week. We get in free with our museum membership and if this glorious, sunshiney weather holds up that would make for a pleasant day where we don't have to stare at each other at home while I avoid doing dishes.

Some words, but mostly pictures of the baby

2012-01-17T22:09:12-06:00

Charlotte is on the move. No, seriously, the kid cannot stay still and I have really had to up my parenting game in the past few weeks. (Did you know that a house with stairs is a death trap? It totally is. When Claire was this age we lived in a one-story house.) She's been sleeping terribly and after a little thinking I remembered there's a BIG 37-week/9-month developmental growth spurt. Since she's not quite 9-months it felt a bit early to be blaming the growth spurt, but out of curiosity I asked Dr Google for her exact age.

Ah-ha. Well. That would probably be the reason I was up for 90 minutes with Screamy-For-No-Reason-Baby last night. Her brain is in overdrive.

Anyway, it's hard to believe that this:

(holy crap you guys she's small enough to fit inside the damn BOPPY) turned into this:

She crawls with speed across entire rooms. She can and does pull up on anything (crib, dollhouse, her sister, you, me, chairs, overturned laundry baskets, etc).

She can cruise around the ottoman, along the side of the sofa and she can switch from hanging onto one object (a chair) to another, adjacent object (the table).

She can cross the room and climb up 3 stairs (THREE!) in the time it takes to turn your back to get milk from the fridge. (Oops, time to keep the baby gate up 24/7.) (Also? HOLY CRAP HEART ATTACK can I get some warning the next time you learn to do something dangerous that I thought was far, far, far outside the realm of your abilities?) She's not standing from a sit unassisted and she's not walking, but she's definitely getting verrrrrry close.

Secret Talent: She is very good at locating outlets I forgot to stick plastic covers in. (Unfortunately, I fear this Secret Talent will not carry her far in life. We are working on developing other Secret Talents.)

Charlotte has three teeth (all on the bottom, curiously enough). Surely there are more in there, waiting to inflict screamy, sleepless pain.

She continues to be the family goat. This kid will eat ANYTHING. She's getting better at feeding herself and I remain not-so-great at thinking of new things to put in front of her or having the patience to let her make a complete mess. I spoon-feed her more often than not, just because it's easier for me. Takes less time to fill her belly, makes a smaller mess. It's also kind of novel because we had to fight for every bite Claire ever took (and continues to take). It's just kind of...fun to make a baby food and then actually see her ingest it. She can drink from a sippy cup if I hold it, but she's not terribly excited about it.

She's testing out new sounds. LA LA LA BLAH BLAH BLAH DA DA DA. DADADADADA. DAAAAAAAA! (Not even a hint of mmmmm or maaaaa or mama.) Her hair is getting longer and spikier. It's darker than Claire's and doesn't show a hint of curls (yet?).

And that's what Charlotte is up to these days. We chase her. She keeps going. It'll probably be like this for several years.

Just writing about toffee makes me want to run out and buy some more toffee.

2012-01-12T13:04:18-06:00

Living with Claire these days is such a mix of up and down. She's so bright and she gets it and she draws stunning conclusions from only threads of information but then she has a moment where she is so utterly and completey THREE that I understand how eBay ads for children sometimes happen. (I'm not saying it's okay, I'm just saying I UNDERSTAND how a person might get there.)

Just this morning she threw a royal fit about wanting a certain cup to drink from. (We are trying to enforce a one cup per day rule around here, because I'm tired of filling the top rack of the dishwasher up with the eight ot ten cups she requires in a single afternoon.) Other times she says, "I love you so much, Mommy," or, "You're my best friend. No, wait, Charlotte is my best friend!" and then I wonder what on earth I did right or accidentally to give me such a kind little person to spend my days with.

***

A few weeks shy of the 33rd (!) birthday I have discovered the royal delight of a Heath Bar. For many, many years I thought I didn't like toffee, because it's a close cousin to caramel and that's never been a favorite of mine. (Too sticky.) But then I bought a Heath Bar for my cookie party, to crush up as a topping and HOLY WOW THAT SHIT IS GOOOOOOD.

I have since become a candy bar check-out stand addict. It's a little embarrassing.

***

We've had some nice days out here in the greater Dallas-Ft Worth area. We are still waiting on winter to show up and we've instead had a very long and stretched out fall season. The temperature waffles between freezing and 70, most days are sunny and the sky is such a stunning cerulean it seems impossibly real and I keep stepping outside just to check that the windows aren't tinting it artificially. The air is crisp and it's perfect for bike rides and playgrounds and scooters and kicking a ball in the back yard. If day after day of that doesn't make you look up and whisper thank you to whatever entity you give credit to for days and a life like this, nothing will. 2012 is starting off quite nicely around here.

I didn't solve the Mystery of the Dressing Table Drawer, but this is as good as I can do for free and without traveling to Arkansas to dig around in old files

2012-01-10T22:08:35-06:00

I asked my grandmother for some background on the furniture and this is what she said:

I understand Mother and Daddy bought it when they moved into that house, probably the summer before I was born in 1931. Think maybe it was from Fakes Furniture Store downtown Ft Worth. Fakes and Ellison were the furniture stores of my childhood.

(Here is the house my Grandmother grew up in. I vividly remember playing on that stone wall out front as a child. It's cute, isn't it? My Family Furniture Disease is pretty severe, in that I dream of this house going on the market and BUYING IT.)

I remember Mother said that when they moved in she walked around the empty rooms and thought it marvelous. I will ask Annabelle (her sister) when I talk with her, but she has few memories of her childhood. She says that "It was just uneventful." I remember more about mother than she does. I believe the location of Fakes Furniture was probably on Houston St in the 400 or 500 block. I remember going there before the department stores moved from downtown. Historic Ft Worth probably has record/pictures of the store.
Daddy used it until he moved to the nursing home.

(This photo is from the 1930's, right about when my great-grandparents bought the bedroom set.) (Photo credit to Flickr user "TexasFight!") (Oh, it PAINS ME to write that user name on this website.)

(This is the Fakes Furniture building today. The upper floors are residential lofts.)

The Other Family (actual name redacted) bought it for their oldest daughter when we cleared out Daddy's house. She used it until she got bedroom furniture that her husband's grandfather had made by hand. That is when we bought it back for you.

This messes up my timeline a bit. I thought the furniture was manufactured after 1940, when the incorporation documents were submitted to the state, but they bought it in the summer of 1931. I WAS right on one thing: my great-grandmother did select the set and she died in 1960. It appears she used it for about 30 years.

At about this point I got an email from my dad with some notes he'd been able to turn up. The first was an article from a local newspaper that mentions a few key items:

Walnut was so abundant in Arkansas in the 19th and early 20th centuries that some of it was even used to make pencils. (So, the stamps that read 1944-WAL and 1915-WAL probably DO mean that it's walnut.)

Ballman and the brothers joined forces in 1894, incorporating as the Ballman-Cummings Furniture Co. By 1913, the company, along with the Ward and Garrison Furniture, produced enough furniture to fill 1,171 rail cars with beds, cabinets, chairs, couches, dining tables.

Furniture making was alive and well much before 1940 in this part of Arkansas - as early as 1894! Garrison was producing as early as 1913, likely earlier. HRMMMMM.

Then my dad found an obituary that mentions Ed Lucas. (My father has fantastic Google Ninja Skills.) Remember Ed? He's listed as a current officer of Garrison Furniture with the Arkansas Secretary of State.

Ed Lucas is the son-in-law of the former president of Garrison Furniture (Jack Grober, whose obit is linked to above).

Dad guessed that the document above may have been filed when Ed was added to the company, but that doesn't really make sense. The document was filed in 1940 and Jack (the former president of Garrison Furniture) would have only been 16 then. Surely Ed hadn't even been BORN in 1940, much less old enough to be the President. (Well, I guess he could have married a much younger woman?) Or, perhaps the Ed in the document isn't son-in-law Ed, maybe it's his father, Ed Senior? Maybe Ed Senior and Jack were friends and managed the company? Or, a third (and most likely) possibility is that the state only shows the date of original filing and not the date it was last updated or amended.

Probably that one is what's going on. Ed is probably son-in-law Ed and the digital record doesn't show each update. Anyway, out of all of these clipping and bits of research I don't know much beyond what I originally suspected.

1. The furniture was purchased in the summer of 1931 from (probably) Fakes Furniture in downtown Ft Worth.

2. It was made in Arkansas.

3. It's walnut.

But beyond that it's anyone's guess as to the value, how many duplicates were produced, and whether any are still out there. (I don't really care about the value though, since I wouldn't part with it in the first place.) I'm pretty excited to paint it and I'm 90% sure I'm going to give Annie Sloan's Chalk Paint a whirl. I've got the dresser in Charlotte's room already and it just fits PERFECTLY and the scale is lovely and it's like it was meant to go in there.

It's weird to realize that by the time this furniture (and my grandmother!) is 100 years old, Charlotte will be 20 and probably in college. (Don't worry, people in my family live for a really long time. My grandmother will be around.) It's five generations from my great-grandmother to Charlotte and that's an awfully long time to keep something and use it every day.

It's nice to think about my great-grandmother sitting at the dressing table every day between 1931 and 1960, while both of her girls grew up around her, just like our family. Two mothers with two girls, four generations and 80 years apart. This is why family furniture is so much more special in a way that IKEA or Ethan Allen or Crate and Barrel can never be. I'm so glad to have it, finally.

The mystery in the dressing table drawer*

2012-01-08T22:10:10-06:00

Several years ago there was a phone conversation with my Grandmother about some furniture that had been her father's (my great-grandfather), which was purchased by a friend, many years ago when they were cleaning out his house. That friend was now no longer interested in owning the furniture and she kindly called my Grandmother back, after all those years, and asked if she'd like to have it again since it was a bit sentimental. She didn't want it, but she wondered if I did?

I think I had just gotten married and we had NO PLACE to put that furniture, but I have a disease where you love old family furniture even if it's ugly and in need of repair and you just can't stand to see a STRANGER own that bit of history (heavens no!) so you collect things you have no business owning. It's a very strong genetic trait that my mother passed down to me. I couldn't say no. In fact, I had never even seen it when I told her YES I WANT THAT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.

It was...not a pretty as I'd hoped. But, still. SENTIMENTAL. Plus, we were already there with a truck and several sets of strong hands and it would have been terribly rude to back out at that point. At home, we crammed it into places that it didn't really fit. Chris understands my disease (kind of) so he didn't ever say much, but it was pretty clear that this furniture was...not his favorite. It stayed, awkwardly, in our home for a while. Then I got pregnant and the problem of too much furniture really presented itself. It just...had to leave the premises of our house. There were no extra bedrooms, no more closets to cram it into, no bed to slide the headboard under. We were at max capacity and we were about to bring another human home with all of the frillions of plasticky things a baby needs these days and there was just no place to put the stuff.

Obviously, selling it was out of the question (my disease has no cure or treatment plan) so I called my grandmother and asked if she would store it for me, in her house that isn't any bigger than mine. I wanted the furniture and felt strongly that it would have a place in my home some day, but not today. Not in my (then) small home with a baby. Because she's really nice, she crammed it into her guest bedroom where it didn't match her carefully chosen decor and she never said a single word about it. It stayed there for several years until I decided a few weeks ago that I wanted it back.

I have been thinking about Charlotte's room as a big girl room, a room without a crib. Not that we'll be there any time soon (OH HELLS NO, she's only 8-months-old), but I knew that if this was the furniture destined to be hers it was going to need a lot of work and time to be improved enough to be something I'd want to look at every day.

For all of the sentimental value, this furniture is no prize upon first look. I KNOW Chris thinks I'm crazy and you'll probably think I'm crazy too. (That's okay. I'm pretty sure this whole scheme might be the worst idea I've ever had, but I'm going to see where it ends up. I mean, I'm several years into it at this point. Can't jump ship NOW.)

Are you ready? Here it is. (Crappy iPhone pictures with flash. SORRY.)

Chest of drawers:

Dressing table with mirror and chair:

Close-up of dressing table:

(Not pictured: headboard/footboard.)

It's walnut (I think?). I initially thought it was manufactured about 1914 since there's a stamp that reads, "1914-WAL." Another piece is stamped, "1944-WAL," so now I think that's actually a product or reference number. It's thinly veneered and is chipping in several places. The chest of drawers actually fell off a moving vehicle sometime in the 80's or 90's and the top half broke off in (what I am told) was a very dramatic traffic event in Plano, Texas. The interim owners had it repaired and the damage is only visible from the back. There are several dings and gouges. The finish is worn and tired-looking. It's also dark. DARK. I'd say it's almost black but it's just a very, very dark brown. Someone might think this color is pretty but it's just not my style. I don't have anything this dark in my house.

I also don't have anything this cutesy or feminine in my house, which is why it seems to be IDEAL little girl furniture. (Let's all pause at the hilarity of my disease that made me accept what could only be little girl furniture BEFORE I WAS EVEN PREGNANT IN THE FIRST PLACE.) I feel like this could be cute and sweet in Charlotte's room, even though it doesn't match, uh, anything else in the house in look/feel/tone. I would have LOVED having this dressing table as a child and teenager, to store all of my important things in and have a place to get ready. I also tend to think the ultra-feminine style might contrast well in her room, which I intend to keep as blue/pink/red.

The veneer is so thin and chipped and cracked in so many places I don't think I have the skills to repair it and stain to something lighter. I think it would look pretty terrible if tried that. My plan is to paint it white. Charlotte's blue walls contrast nicely with the white furniture already in there and I think this would look pretty sweet in a creamy white color. Lots of internet research needed on that project, but I think I can pull it off. I am hoping I will end up with something like this:

Source: centsationalgirl.com via A'Dell on Pinterest

Or, if I become truly insane I will paint it all an actual color (probably not pink).

Source: lecourtier.tumblr.com via A'Dell on Pinterest

See how this style could look in a girl's room? It can be cute! I will probably not go as bold as this, but you get the idea. Old/new!

Source: referans.wordpress.com via A'Dell on Pinterest

Anyway. The mystery. WHERE IS THE MYSTERY YOU WERE PROMISED? I spied a worn label inside a drawer tonight:

Curious about its history and expecting something obvious to pop up, I Googled. Nothing popped up. Forty minutes later I was looking at all kinds of archives in the state of Arkansas, Fort Smith Historical Society pages, newspaper archives, research manuscripts and finding a whole lot of nothing. Out of all that, I only found two obituaries that briefly mentioned a deceased individual that had worked at Garrison Furniture in the 1950's. There's an address and phone number for a Garrison Furniture in Fort Smith today, but when I looked at the building via Google street view it didn't seem to be an actual furniture company any more. It was sort of a smallish office park, where you might find a local CPA or lawyer.

There weren't any mentions of anyone collecting this brand of furniture or anyone that owned this brand. Nothing on eBay or any lists of collectible or vintage brands of furniture. Searches of antique store inventories came up empty as well. Finally, I ventured over to the Arkansas Secretary of State's records and was pleasantly surprised to discover that a Garrison Furniture Company was incorporated on December 23, 1940. BINGO. That HAD to be it. Curiously though, the company hadn't been dissolved in more than 70 years and was listed as still in good standing with the Secretary. Searches for the two listed individuals came up empty though. The address appears to be a residence.

It appears that the furniture was probably purchased in the 40's or 50's but I don't know much else about it other than that, which is so STRANGE to me that Google would leave me so empty-handed. I've asked my grandmother for more information, but I'd be interested to know if her parents traveled to Ft Smith to buy it or if it was purchased at a furniture store in Ft Worth (where they lived). I would also be so curious to know what it originally cost. I know that my great-grandmother died in about 1958 (I think) and this furniture is SO feminine, so it feels like she must have been the one to choose it, which also fits the time line of the company above and the company that was mentioned in the obituaries. I can't imagine a widower picking this out from a store. I think I'll call the Garrison Furniture Company that's currently listed, tomorrow, and see if the person who answers knows anything but I'm not expecting a whole lot.

So, that's the mystery. I suppose the second mystery is, "Will she be able to turn that furniture into something cute enough for Charlotte's room?" (We might be waiting a few months on that one.) (And, trust me, THAT IS DEFINITELY A BIG MYSTERY.)

*You have no idea how pleased I am to use a Carolyn Keene Nancy Drew knock-off title for this post.

Some quick takes, others not so much

2012-01-05T20:12:53-06:00

1. There is a Christmas tree in my living room and while it is undecorated and I know that Epiphany isn't until tomorrow (or, Saturday? I don't know) and TECHNICALLY if I wanted to give myself that long of a grace period for tree removal I could, the truth is that I am very annoyed at this giant TREE in my living room and I can't wait to move it to its proper off-season storage location.

2. All of the other Christmas paraphernalia is in the dining room and since ignoring things I don't like to deal with is a coping mechanism that works for me, I just don't go in there.

3. I started working with a trainer yesterday and my arms realllllllly hurt today. It's not that aggravating and bright, "it hurts but it feels good!" hurt, that annoying people talk about sometimes, just to brag that they've been working out. No, it just hurts. Ouch. I have damaged my extremities. This is perhaps telling of how long it has been since I've done any weight work with my arms (I don't think a 7 to 20-pound blob that needs bouncing/shushing/swaying counts).

4. I sent in my first-gen iPod Nano, per the recall, and they sent me back a BRAND NEW ONE! At first they were sending back refurbished OLD ones, but I let the box rattle around in my car for a few weeks (remember, I ignore things I don't like to deal with) and by the time I sent it in they had run out of OLD Nanos so they sent me a teeny-tiny new (silver!) one. This would be super kick-ass, except I use my iPhone at the gym for music because I like Pandora (thank you to Holly for pointing me towards Pop and Hip Hop Power Workout). I had zero use for this new Nano, which explains why the old one had been sitting in a drawer since 2008 when I got my first iPhone. I gave it to Chris. This is what western civilization has come to: Too Many Apple Products With Overlapping Utility.

5. I wrote about some bowls and then they sold out and it made me feel like a retail superstar. Crate and Barrel, where is my commission?

6. I am feeling a bit more normal these days. I am well-past feeling hugely pregnant, I don't feel any post-partum-y crazy hormones that make me cry when the dishwasher leaves food on things, and my hair stopped falling out in giant, scary clumps. My body is still squishy but I'm going to the Y regularly and eating well (better than I have in years, actually) and I feel good. I wake up every day at 5am to the pterodactyl cries of Charlotte and I don't want to strangle anyone or cry because I'm so tired. I'm pretty well-rested these days. I have always been happy (sometimes GROUCHY, but still happy) but I am finally starting to feel like a normal person who didn't just have a baby. And, eight moths later, that sounds about right. I'll bet by month 9 I feel whole again.

7. Um, yes. EIGHT MONTHS. She's eight months old this week, which means her first birthday is a scant four months away. If I was the kind of person that throws a one-year-old a birthday party I might start planning that throwdown, but I'm not that kind of person so instead I'm planning the Miles-Bankrupt vacation Chris and I are going to take once this kid gets weaned. (Which, I don't know when that will be but it will be sometime this year, probably sooner rather than later if she follows in her sister's footsteps.) We're going to use ALL THE MILES and go first class and then change credit cards as soon as it's booked so we'll stop accruing American Airlines miles. (Still not sure which one we're switching to.) Right now we are thinking Caribbean but I'm not sure exactly where. Chris has voiced votes for Aruba, St John, Turks and Caicos and Barbados. I just want to go somewhere and sit on a beach and not have anyone whine at me for a couple of days. (I am easy to please.)

8. My birthday is coming up at the end of the month and I have made a very big decision that I hemmed and hawed over for an embarrassing number of weeks: I am going to buy myself the giant chocolate Costco cake for my birthday cake. I know, you want to come over for my birthday now, don't you? YUM. I can't wait.

9. We hired someone to help us in the kitchen and she's actually quite terrible at helping clean, but she's rather cute so I think we'll keep her.

2011

2011-12-28T21:32:51-06:00

(Read 2010 here and 2009 here. This list of questions originates with the fantastic Linda at All & Sundry.)

1. What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?

I resigned from my job with no intention of getting another job right away. (Yes, yes, yes, being a mother and runner-of-the-house is a job but I think we all know I'm talking about a pays-cash-money job.)

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I am not a specific resolution-y type person but I do have some things for 2011 that I am desperate to do and achieve and accomplish. There are websites I want to launch and businesses I want to create. Closets to organize, relationships to give more attention to, projects to complete, and moments to create.

Like every year, all of my ideas about self improvement reside firmly in the category of Time Management. It's an upward slope, getting better all the time, but far from perfect.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Uh, ME! Charlotte is pretty awesome, seven months in.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Jake. I really miss him.

5. What countries did you visit?

Does looking at countries on Google Maps count? No? Well, then, no new countries for me this year. Again. But you know what? I am not really feeling like I missed out what with the Euro garbage and terrorism and pilots that can't recognize when their trans-Atlantic plane is stalling, even when the stall warning sounds more than 75 times. Nope! My living room is awesome! No need to leave! We've got Netflix, we're good for the next hundred years.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you didn't have in 2011?

A new project that I find creatively fulfilling. The closet under the stairs organized. New linens in my bedroom. Curtains in the kitchen. A new light fixture in the dining room. More nights of uninterrupted sleep.

7. What dates from 2011 will be etched upon your memory, and why?

These kinds of questions are always really easy to answer when you've had a baby recently. I will always remember with an odd amount of clarity that night before Charlotte was born when I was convinced I was not in labor.

8. What was your biggest achievement of this year?

Well, the giving birth part was kind of a big deal but that's pretty much the answer to all these questions, isn't it? (BABY! I HAD A BABY! IN CASE YOU WERE NOT AWARE!)

I also had a refluxy baby (which makes the entire BABY! situation far more dramatic) and I had to to pay cash for her medications because they were not covered AT ALL by my insurance which did not add to the stress of the situation in any way.

(It totally added to the stress of the situation.)

($5 per solutab! FIVE DOLLARS! A DAY! CASH! FOR SEVERAL MONTHS. OMG WHAT A SCAM.)

(Wait, that's the same scam Starbucks is running.)

9. What was your biggest failure?

I wonder if a lot of parents do this, but I failed to recognize how hectic and irregular life is with a newborn. (And it was even my second newborn.) I mean, I KNOW that it's wild, but looking back now can I see that I should not have beat myself up about not returning a string of emails or wearing my pajamas all day or any of a thousand other things because HELLO I HAD JUST HAD A BABY. (With reflux!)

So, I failed to give myself credit for a lot of difficult and taxing and time-consuming things I was doing and instead focused on the things I wasn't doing. The little, unimportant, silly things. Which is stupid and so, so, so very me.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I lived a pretty clean 2011. No new scars, which I think is a first for me. (I scar and bruise like a banana.)

Oh wait, no, this isn't true. I burned my arm with the steam from a Beaba Babycook and while it did not scar (miraculous!), it hurt like hell.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My iPad2 and I are very much in love.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My mother. Oh my gosh you guys, my mom is AMAZING. She stayed with us for three or five weeks before and after Charlotte was born and she was a total LIFESAVER. She cleaned and cooked and managed Claire and she was just incredible. Things would have been very, very ugly if she hadn't been here.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

The entire Penn State abuse story. All of it. Disgusting.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Taxes. Medical bills.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

It might be too obvious to say that I was really, really, really excited to give birth, but dudes I really, really, really wanted to not be pregnant any more. My babies come after 40 weeks and I can say with some authority that all of the days after 40 weeks are pretty awful in their uncomfortable-ness. Sleeping on my stomach continues to thrill me and I'm not sure I'll ever stop appreciating that simple luxury.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?

I don't know. I am not very cool since I don't listen to music a whole lot. Old MacDonald?

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

Happier: Two cute kids and shedding the 9-5 stresses have been amazing for my mood.

Thinner: Not being pregnant and having a whole other human inside of me really helps on this metric.

Richer: The years continue to be kind and generous to our family.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

I wish I had spent more time nurturing my creative and professional side after Charlotte was born. There's still time for this, I know, but it feels like it will be more diffuclt to jump back in when I'm ready.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Disciplining the three-year-old. Being unable to fall back asleep in the middle of the night after the baby went back to bed. Dishes. Sweeping remnants of meals from the floor.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

At home, with my family. It was lovely, lovely, lovely.

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?

I fell in love with Charlotte. I fell in love with my little family of four.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Nightly News with Brian Williams is still #1 one my list for obvious, very handsome reasons.

I watched a lot of Sesame Street. I haaated The Office with Andy in charge, hello BORING. I got really into Storage Wars at one point and watched ten episodes in one night. (The things people leave in storage are FASCINATING.)

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Gosh, "hate" is such a strong word and I read these memes every year where people are like, "I don't hate anyone! That's a terrible question!" Well, there are things I hate. I'm not so high and mighty that I won't tell you that yes, yes I do hate certain things and people and processes and I let these ideas occupy my brain and sometimes I really sit and stew about them.

Most of my stewing time in 2011 centered on the idea that I hate the people responsible for the colossal fuck-up of health care in America. I know it's not the worst in the world and I'm thankful for what we have, but it's a systematic and layered problem with the blame spread upon many shoulders and generations and industries and I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT.

HATE.

24. What was the best book you read?

I didn't read all that much this year. I only read a book if someone I trusted told me I should read it. Here, let me just list the books I read:

Daughter of Smoke and Bone

Steve Jobs biography (my favorite, by a long mile)

Game of Thrones

New Sookie Stackhouse book: Dead Reckoning (YES, I READ THESE BOOKS, SHUT UP.)

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I really wanted to like Mumford and Sons, truly I did, but I DON'T. I don't even like them a little bit. So, perhaps this is not a musical discovery in the spirit of the question but I think this is definitely noteworthy that I have discovered that I do not care for Mumford and Sons, against an enormous tide of popularity and repeated suggestions from Pandora.

26. What did you want and get?

A healthy baby. An iPad2. A good hair cut. The opportunity to stay at home with my kids. Health insurance.

27. What did you want and not get?

A swimming pool. (Hey, I dream big.)

28. What was your favorite film of 2011?

I liked Super 8. That one was cute in a Goonies kind of way. Suspenseful, but not TOO creepy which is good because even scary movie previews give me nightmares. I also liked 172 Hours (the arm cutting off movie) a lot, even though there is the whole part about how HE CUT HIS ARM OFF (but it wasn't scary, just suspenseful). Last night we saw the new Mission Impossible and it was really good.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 32 in 2011 and honest-to-God I can't remember what we did. Oh, wait, now I remember. We went to New Orleans and I ate everything in the city. Oh man, that was a great trip. Beignets every morning. MMMMM.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

I will use the same answer as last year: A giant pile of tax-free cash. Isn't that everyone's answer to this question? I know money doesn't buy happiness but dude, it sure does fix a lot of immediate problems.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2011?

Part I

"I'm pregnant but I won't be for much longer and I don't feel like buying any maternity clothes so I will just pretend like this non-maternity skirt fits and this shirt covers my belly. Okay fine, I will go buy whatever Old Navy is selling in the under $20 range and hope it looks like work clothes. GAH."

Part II

"Can I nurse in this? Is it basically disposable, so that when Charlotte barfs on it and ruins it, I am not too upset? Does it go with shorts, because this is the hottest summer on record? Yes? Okay, I'll buy it. Actually, I'll buy TWO. Because, you know, BARF."

Part III

"Hey! This is something I haven't been able to fit into in a long time. I'm going to try it on. HOLY CRAP IT FITS! Also? It is very dated, why am I hanging onto these pants from 2002? I am donating these. But then...I won't have any pants that fit. Dammit."

32. What kept you sane?

The internet. You. I don't know how people parented before the internet. Really, I have no idea. Pioneers must have had a short lifespan because there wasn't any internet and their children drove them insane and then they died. That is what "threshing accident" really means. (Cap Garland must have had terrible children.)

Also, the YMCA. Discovering the YMCA was a total lifesaver for me. I am really fortunate that there is one very close to the house. It's only $60 a month for a membership for the entire family, there is free childcare and the facility is nice. The people are nice. Group exercise classes are included and it has truly made the difference for me in working out and not working out. I once did this whole day where I dragged my kids to every gym in a five-mile radius and the Y is the only one that didn't creep me out or make me feel like a less-than-worthy person because I wasn't already a stick-thin kickboxing power bitch.

33. What political issue stirred you the most?

Health insurance and health care, which is kind of annoying as it did not really make any significantly positive movement policy-wise in 2011.

34. Who did you miss?

Jake. Jake, Jake, Jake.

35. Who was the best new person you met?

Charlotte! (She probably doesn't count though, since she was a baby. I have a feeling the spirit of this question is more intended towards a new adult human that I met.)

36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.

Just when I think I've hit my limit and I'm done, really done, I'm not. I can keep going. I can do more. I can handle whatever hard thing is ahead of me.

37. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-25T06:03:07-06:00

These are the first few moments I've had alone in a few days and, of course, they come at 5 am with a baby struggling to eat this laptop while I type. A baby that just barfed on me, oh yes she just did.

But, I did want pause (With barf on my pajamas! I really love you!) to wish everyone a lovely Christmas, if you're the kind of person that celebrates it, and a very Happy Holidays if you don't.

Merry Christmas, from our family to yours!

You know what will derail an Advent activity calendar pretty fast? A plague, that's what.

2011-12-18T08:22:39-06:00

So! I've spent the past few days doling out one teaspoon portions of Motrin to my oldest and whatever the middle hash-mark on the tiny medicine dropper is to my youngest. Then Chris picked up The Hacking and he didn't feel like doing much so it's been a blur of attending to sick people on the sofa.

Day 15

I think we watched Barney all day. Again. I don't really remember, Claire was still pretty sick.

Day 16

Claire did a Gingerbread house with her friend Emory today. I am told they both enjoyed it and wanted to eat all of the candy immediately. I wasn't here for it; I went to afternoon tea downtown with my best friend.

It was nice. The last time I went there, they had someone playing a baby grand piano in the restaurant and this time there wasn't, although there WAS a lady playing a harp in the lobby of the hotel, which was really weird as NOBODY was in the lobby and EVERYONE was in the restaurant having tea. Why they didn't move her into the restaurant where we could all enjoy the music is beyond me.

I remember the food tasting better, but perhaps I have been spoiled ever since attending Afternoon Tea at The Palmer House in Chicago last year. (Or maybe it really WAS better in years past. The last time I went to tea at The Ashton was in 2007.) I mean, it was edible and everything but for my afternoon tea I don't want vegetables and red pepper dip, I want something FANCIER. Other things were okay but none of it was really gooooooood except for the gingerbread button cookie. I dunno. Seems to me that they could invest a little more in a pastry chef or explore the world of mini quiches. (The pastries had that terrible problem where they look nice but taste like sand.) The "sandwiches" were more like tiny crackers and I get that at tea the sandwiches are tiny but it was like a wheat thin type of size/consistency/quality and they felt like they'd been assembled hours ago and weren't aging very well. Perhaps if the tiny faux-sandwiches had tasted better I would be more forgiving on the format but they were just kind of...MEH.

It sounds like I didn't have fun, but really I did. I had a lot of fun. The food was just not my favorite. I went for the time alone with my friend and without our children and I got that too and it was GLORIOUS.

After dinner that night we test-drove the Gingerbread martini recipe and it was good. Very ginger-y, pretty to look at. I might not drink two or five of these but one might be really festive.

Day 17

Claire opened a book: The Sweet Smell of Christmas. When I told her it was a book that smelled like cookies she was very dubious. Everyone on the internet remembers having this book as a kid and I can't recall it at all. Were we a strange family that didn't have this book? I mean, we HAD Christmas books, just not this particular one.

I made word garlands from Christmas carols. Or, perhaps more accurately, hymns? I don't know. I was thinking about what phrases to use and "O Little Town of Bethlehem" seemed far more interesting to read and reflect on while it hangs in my entry than "Jingle Bells."

They were pretty simple to make: I freehand cut the letters from old scrapbook paper (and since I don't scrapbook any more I had zero guilt about slicing it all up) and then I taped them onto red and white baker's twine. At first I was less than impressed with the overly obvious homemade nature of their irregularities, but now I really like that part.