Laura's Soap Box

What would I do if I was misquoted?

2012-02-26T08:08:00.002-05:00

If I was misquoted saying this in a newspaper:

“If there is a supportive home environment, the evidence is that eating disorders will not follow. Eating disorders, like anorexia, largely develop in the homes of white middle-class girls with controlling mothers, and the child reclaims control with how she eats. That shouldn’t happen if a child feels cared for and is taught to take ownership of their diet.”

I would make it my urgent mission to have it removed, demand the paper publish my disgusted and horrified rebuttal, and - because I would now be forever associated with that reprehensible paragraph - join the efforts of those fighting that kind of thinking.

I'm not exaggerating when I say that a paragraph like that in a newspaper, no matter how innocently or ignorantly published, could help kill a patient. The parent who reads that paragraph will assume it is true and it will feed every fear they already have. They may delay seeking care, thinking the problem lies within and is unfixable, worsening the prognosis. They may accept care that marginalizes them and blames them - which is abundant. They may back off in supporting their loved one in fear that their influence will only harm. They may reject the clinicians who don't blame them - and waste time during treatment wallowing in guilt.

This isn't benign. It is a pernicious and dangerous line of thinking that so many people have worked so hard to fight.

If you are quoted as saying it, even if you didn't, you own it. I know what I'd do. How about you?

Disney pulls down damaging "attraction"

2012-02-26T07:50:00.001-05:00

The "Habit Heroes" exhibit at Disney's Epcot has been "temporarily" shut down.

Congratulations and profound gratitude is owed all the organizations and individuals who contacted Disney and Blue Cross Blue Shield, and to Disney for hearing them.

I wish it didn't have to be the eating disorders community to do this. Why does it take knowledge of life-threatening psychiatric illness to have a clue about weight shaming? Everyone should know this intuitively, and it has nothing to do with eating disorders. And yet the ones to put up alarms and speak out (and face horrifyingly ignorant and sickening backlash) are those in the eating disorder world? Thank you to the Binge Eating Disorder Association (BEDA), the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA), ANAD, and all others who spoke up quickly and assertively.

Disney's Anti-Obesity 'Habit Heroes' Exhibit At Epcot Causes Controversy

Now, Disney, time to make that "temporary" to a permanent status, tear it down, and get back to entertaining people.

Here's a blogger who says it well:

"Personal appearance has long been the most common reason for people to bully others, but we’ve succeeded in establishing a consensus that it’s not okay to make fun of people for having spots, or red hair, or for being short, etc. But apparently it’s still okay to make fun of people for being overweight. Because, you know, it’s their own fault. If Fatty over there would only lose some weight, they wouldn’t get picked on. We tell bullying victims how “it’s the bully’s fault, not yours. You’re not to blame.” And then we go and make an exception for fat people"

Contribute to an upcoming book!

2012-02-25T16:36:00.001-05:00

June Alexander, the wonderful author of My Kid Is Back and A Girl Named Tim, is working on a new collaboration and she's hoping you'll help:

Untwisting Eating Disorders

Check it out and get involved!

if parents are empowered and included, rather than excluded

2012-02-25T13:55:00.000-05:00

Some voices matter more than others, so when Thomas Insel - head of the National Institute of Mental Health - talks about eating disorders it gets heard:

"Traditionally, anorexia in adolescents has been viewed as a “family systems” problem requiring a “parentectomy” — exclusion of the parents or caregivers from the teen’s treatment plan. But research at the Maudsley Hospital in London, which was replicated in the United States by Le Grange and Lock, has shown that outcomes appear much better if parents are empowered and included, rather than excluded, from the treatment.^iv In fact, a carefully controlled trial evaluating the effectiveness of a family-based treatment approach found 50 percent of participants continued to experience full remission one year after the end of therapy.^v Whether this same approach will work for older patients is not clear, but research is currently underway that incorporates families in the treatment of adults with anorexia. The proof of principle is important: family involvement can be critical for recovery."

Dr. Insel, who was Keynote speaker at F.E.A.S.T.'s symposium in November, offers us so much hope!

Awareness of eating disorders awareness

2012-02-24T13:26:00.001-05:00

Yes, "awareness" is good. The public really knows little about eating disorders and it is not until we are hit with it in our own families do we discover how difficult the illness is and how absurdly difficult it is to get proper treatment.

But not ALL awareness is good. Awareness that distracts from the important stuff can be WORSE than ignorance.

Most awareness campaigns around eating disorders are based on the same mistaken ideas of the problem that the public already holds: poor body image, size zero models, pressure to be thin, appearance over achievement, and "an issue of control." Trashing our scales, mocking Barbie, taking off our makeup, and scolding mom are easy but cheap and suspiciously easy: we really don't need any more awareness around those ideas. We need to DISPEL those.

Here's what the public needs awareness about:

Dieting and over-exercise are toxic for the developing brain, and can be a sign of deadly mental illness.
Children and adolescents shouldn't be losing weight, skipping meals, or using exercise to change their body size.
Eating disorders, while very serious psychiatric conditions, are treatable.
Get your loved one into treatment. Not ANY treatment: treatment based on good science.

P.S. Most treatment available is not based on good science.

For shame, Disney.

2012-02-23T21:11:00.001-05:00

For shame, Disney:

Use Your Voice Against Stigmatization of Children

Eating disorders are learned from parents

2012-02-19T07:39:00.000-05:00

Why do people assume parents on diets and self-conscious about weight give their kids eating disorders?

Mostly, it seems to be a very unsophisticated view of mental illness. People confuse disordered eating (a behavior, and all too common), with an eating disorder (the very-poorly conceived name for a brain disorder with symptoms and perpetuating factors around eating). This is similar to believing eating a lot of sugar leads to Type I Diabetes. Or eating eggs will make you fertile.

Reframe: the symptoms of self-consciousness, body image distress, drive to avoid food can all happen without outside influences at all. The brain can be wired that way, or wired to think that way when precipitated by energy imbalance. Often, the environment DOES send all these messages, and even in healthy people they have an effect, but not to the hallucinatory and rigid way seen with eating disorders.

WIthout the genetics and predisposition our kids could, as many do, try on all sorts of disordered behaviors but they won't be able to sustain them. They may believe all sorts of wacky ideas about food and weight but logic and persuasion still work for them. In other words, we're talking about a genuine mind-altering brain disorder and not a set of bad choices.

So it can be true that a mother was on a diet and the daughter developed an eating disorder, of course. It did in our family: I'd been fighting the spread of middle age just as my doctor and media and friends told me I should: eating less, eating different things, choosing different activities. When my daughter developed extreme versions of those same thoughts and behaviors it seemed obvious where they came from. I wasted precious time backpedalling and trying to get her to be only as disordered as me, which at the time I referred to as "balanced." Now I realize my dieting was stupid and unhealthy but I also know it no more made my daughter mentally ill than it made me fit into my high school jeans. (a cheap knock off of the designer jeans I really wanted my mom to buy)

I did disordered eating, but I didn't have an eating disorder. I was just a fool. My daughter was not.

I now know that it is more like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. You can't catch it or be pushed into it. A mother who keeps a clean house doesn't push her children to develop compulsive hand washing. Can you imagine demonizing that mother as "setting unrealistic standards of cleanliness?"

Eating disorder as a "sin"

2012-02-18T07:36:00.000-05:00

A parent recently contacted me to express her distress at a radio show she heard on the topic of eating disorders. I have listened to some of the tapes and I do feel very concerned for parents who might hear the show and develop inaccurate ideas about the nature of eating disorders and faith.

The idea that an eating disorder is a "besetting sin," one that mothers push their daughters into, is deeply concerning to me.

I wrote to the radio interviewer (whose daughter has bulimia) and the author who is being interviewed to share my concern. I am positive that they are both well-meaning people who are simply not aware that an eating disorder is a treatable psychiatric disorder and not a reflection of the morality or true nature of that person. Neither have responded.

I am sure that parents will have thoughts on this and may want to reach out to these mothers. I ask, as always, that it be done with respect and calm. This is also not a matter of religion or criticism of religion. I believe it is always best to assume that other people do not wish to cause harm and do not mean to - they lack information and should welcome it.

The show is called Reviving Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss The guest speaker Elyse Fitzpatrick, speaking about her book, "Love to Eat, Hate to Eat" (2004)

The big picture

2012-02-17T21:58:00.002-05:00

I've been in an interesting state lately: fighting the tide of tasks that must be done while surfing my developing insights about The Big Picture.

None of the little stuff matters unless it informs and builds toward larger aims. Each email, each tussle, every phone call plays a role in policy and persuasion and networking toward better diagnosis, treatment, and RECOVERY for real people - many who are not yet ill.

At the same time I am more and more heartbroken at the little things - petty, prideful, pyrrhic, and myopic things - that keep progress and real change from happening. I see SO MUCH opportunity and goodwill and progress being squandered.

ADDED:
thank you, Katie, for this wonderful, perfect quote:

“While wandering a deserted beach at dawn, stagnant in my work, I saw a man in the distance bending and throwing as he walked the endless stretch toward me. As he came near, I could see that he was throwing starfish, abandoned on the sand by the tide, back into the sea. When he was close enough I asked him why he was working so hard at this strange task. He said that the sun would dry the starfish and they would die. I said to him that I thought he was foolish. there were thousands of starfish on miles and miles of beach. One man alone could never make a difference. He smiled as he picked up the next starfish. Hurling it far into the sea he said, "It makes a difference for this one." I abandoned my writing and spent the morning throwing starfish.”
― Loren Eiseley

Symposium videos online!

2012-02-12T09:18:00.002-05:00

OK, so it took a while - don't ask! - but we're there: over seven hours of presentations at the F.E.A.S.T. symposium are now available online - members only - and I'm so grateful and happy.

Thank you to our speakers, our audience, our volunteers, the American University students who filmed and produced the videos - to everyone who has supported F.E.A.S.T. so far...

And to my beautiful family - none of this gets done without a cast of many and for me the cast of supporters starts with my husband and kids and parents.

Those videos will now offer a degree of science, thoughtfulness, hope, and solidarity that I don't believe has EVER existed in this field. I believe we made history in November and by making the presentations widely available is so very F.E.A.S.T.

Those videos are our gift to families everywhere: ENJOY!

(you do have to become a F.E.A.S.T. member, though, which is easy and welcomed)

A taste:

London eating disorder conference welcomes parents

2012-02-03T12:33:00.006-05:00

The last time I was in London (okay, it was my first time, too - except for plane changes), I was there to share an EDIC podium with my friend Fiona. Well, this time she'll be there but I won't. Chunter, grumble, grr.

I am very envious of my F.E.A.S.T. friends who will be there when I cannot, but encourage all families to check out the Eating Disorders International Conference to be held in London March 15-17.

EDIC 2012 LONDONI am very envious of my F.E.A.S.T. friends who will be there when I cannot, but encourage all families to check out the Eating Disorders International Conference to be held in London March 15-17.

If you can attend, meet up with other parents from F.E.A.S.T. and take pictures and send tweets, pictures, notes - because the chap over there on the left doesn't look very forthcoming.

The rest of the story

2012-01-31T11:16:00.000-05:00

Here's the real story of anorexia. It usually starts in late childhood or adolescence. It is usually worrying to family and friends but they don't know what to do and the person's brain doesn't allow him or herself to feel ill or ill enough. Various interventions are attempted and rebuffed. At times the ill person does seek help but it fails them because it is dependent on insight and motivation.

Some pass through this time and for a variety of reasons survive and pass out of it.

Others - many - live lives of only slightly visible misery for 15-20 years or so and then die. In their late 20s or early 30s their illness kills them by infection or heart failure or suicide: they give out. Meanwhile they often accomplish great things in their studies, in their work, in helping others before they die but their own internal lives have been isolated and wretched. Their families live in a state of constant alarm broken up by despair and anger and, over and over, hope.

These are the stories that I hear daily from families. Ill people who because of law and custom must be treated as adults exercising free will and end up living in a back bedroom of terrified and exhausted parents or in apartments alone. Half lives spent being looked down on in health clubs, stared at as they run at all hours in the street, tense family events or absent from themjust not attended.

If your loved one has an eating disorder and you are tiptoeing, hoping, wheedling, sulking, just trying to keep things from getting worse: please consider that you're not trying to make today better. You are trying to prevent decades of horrific barely visible hell and a lonely death decades early.

If you are making decisions based on the next meal, the next hospitalization, the next insight - if you think that being a good person, successful in work, and able to follow the news means they are well enough - if you think they'll start getting better once they've graduated, got that job, moved away... think again.

This is the outcome you are trying to prevent:

Children's doctor tortured by anorexia died

Deen and Bourdain cook-off

2012-01-23T13:05:00.000-05:00

Enjoy this:

No proof Paula Deen's High Fat Southern Cooking Caused Her Diabetes

Recovery from an eating disorder: it's not a number

2012-01-22T08:04:00.002-05:00

I'm often accused of being all about numbers and calories and percentiles. Guilty as charged: I am very focused on the medical restoration of eating disorder patients because without that there is no recovery at all - and too much of treatment and talk about eating disorders ignores this fact.

But what is actual recovery, and how is it measured from the outside? This isn't something that can be analyzed by a chart or ticked off a list - but it can be described.

F.E.A.S.T. published what I feel is the best list for parents, written by one of our Advisors, Cris Haltom.

But I am adding this list, gathered from the insights of recovered patients at CCED, to my personal Hall of Fame. Try to read this list of "thoughts about recovery" without choking up - I couldn't!

Maudsley approach: "cure is now completely expected"

2012-01-21T09:32:00.002-05:00

When a media piece gets it wrong about eating disorders the harm is incalculable, but when a reporter GETS IT and TELLS IT WELL lives are saved, and this article will save lives:

Family Ties Helping Teenagers Rise Above Anorexia

Thank you to the young man and woman in the piece, their parents, their clinicians, The Age, the eating disorder specialists who developed Family-Based Treatment, the advocates out there spreading the word, and to Jill Stark, the reporter.

Families need to hear that there really *ARE* exciting changes in the treatment of eating disorders and that if they aren't being told about these ideas they may not be getting the best care.

"At the Royal Children's Hospital, admission rates have dropped by 56 per cent since the treatment started in 2008. Of the 83 per cent who complete the six-month program, 97 per cent fully recover.

The results have astounded the eating disorders team, who say it has ended the revolving door for patients admitted for refeeding through a nasal gastric tube, discharged for outpatient psychological therapy, only to fall ill again. Some were hospitalised 20 times a year. The average illness duration was seven years.

Now, by involving the whole family, recovery in six months to a year is common. Readmission rates have dropped by 75 per cent. More than 200 patients have been through the program - the youngest was nine.

''Before, we were not really focused on cure because we saw that so infrequently for those who were very unwell. Cure is now completely expected,'' says Professor Susan Sawyer, director of the Royal Children’s Hospital’s Centre for Adolescent Health."

P.S. Now, I know what some of you are going to say, and let me stop you. No one is saying that Maudsley "works for everyone." What we are saying is that FBT/Maudsley recovery rates are far higher than anything else we've got in the toolbox. If you find an antibiotic that helps the majority of people you don't argue about it on the basis of it not working for everyone you get to work finding the 2nd line and the 3rd and inevitably those ideas that works better than FBT - not defending what we know doesn't work for most. If you want to argue about the effectiveness of FBT compare it to something, don't just defend the need for other alternatives; we already know that.

what does the term "brain disorder" do for you?

2012-01-16T14:13:00.002-05:00

I'm preparing a presentation about the term "brain disorder" as applied to eating disorders.

I'm interested to hear from friends and foes and thinkers, all: what does this term mean to you? How does it feel? When you first heard this term did it upset or enlighten you? If you don't use it, why? If you do, why?

cause or reveal

2012-01-16T14:09:00.001-05:00

Does weight loss cause or reveal the mental illnesses we call eating disorders?

And, by way of correlary - does normalizing weight cure or mask mental illness?

Or is weight change just a result of behaviors?

When I think about it, the above are the questions that divide the eating disorder world and form the fault lines for the positions that divide us.

Your thoughts?

Accepting bad care.

2012-01-14T18:12:00.003-05:00

The downside of empowering parents to know the difference between evidence-based care and myth-based care is that when they don't have the option of good care at they know it.

I see so many parents in the midst of crises and forced to make decisions because of circumstances out of their control: insurance, finances, disagreement on direction with spouses, geography, national health systems, co-morbidities that require care outside of ED specialty, parental health crises, multiple family crises, waitlists, age limits... there are more reasons NOT to be able to access the best care out there than ways to access it!

But sometimes we do have to accept care that we know is misguided, futile, and just plain wrong. There is a time to be angry about that, to point it out, and stand up to it... but unfortunately, not in the moment. We have to keep focused on the long-term goal: our loved one's life. There are times when being right isn't an asset, and fighting the urge to say so - to howl at the unfairness - is some of the bravest parenting we can do.

Coming off as the meddling, over-involved, know-it-all, angry, over-reaching, pain in the ass parent of the patient is so easy: All it takes is the faint whiff of our disapproval and a few pointed questions. Being THAT parent makes things worse for our kids in too many situations.

Have I done this? Yes. I've also accepted care that even at the time I knew wasn't good. I've agreed to things I knew I had to because I lacked the authority to stay no. I've worked with people that were great on 50% even though they had it wrong on the other 50. I've sat through advice that I knew we couldn't undermine. It sucks.

The time to protest that, to try to fix the system, is later. Holding out for that is worth it, and feels great.

Perfectionism: in a box

2012-01-12T08:28:00.003-05:00

I post this with some trepidation... but at some point my desire to not encourage the myth that eating disorders are caused by media influence ends up keeping me from cheering for stuff I actually like, like this:

Let me be clear: eating disorders are not an attempt to meet unrealistic media images. Eating disorders are mental illnesses that capitalize on, exploit, and use as cover the fact that advertisers always have and always will sell unattainable perfection in the service of their bottom line. The debilitating body image problems seen in many eating disorder patients is not a sign of the influence of the media any more than compulsive hand-washing is a sign of unrealistic images of cleanliness in detergent commercials.

But I STILL find it important that we help ALL our children develop media literacy and I think the video above does a better job than most because it brings up the signs of aging and race - and has high production values - and uses high-quality satire that is more likely to reach people. There is a place for the scary, serious, judgy stuff (like the Dove Evolution video) but let's keep in mind that ALL this stuff is selling us products and selling us the idea that we're imperfect - even if the imperfection is our self-esteem.

It's all about control...ling the on switch

2012-01-09T06:32:00.000-05:00

I rejoice for the families and communities of the patients restored to health through this new intervention's success:

Deep Brain Stimulation Found To Fix Depression Long-Term

The implications are staggering.

Sugarcoating?

2012-01-08T07:48:00.000-05:00

Most people think that body size is a choice. You want to be thin: eat less and exercise more.

In the eating disorders world, more than anywhere else, we know that this is not only medically wrong it is dangerously wrong. Genetics and health history determine body composition, not choice, and we are neither meant to nor can we sustainably game the process. Aesthetics, media standards, charts on the wall: none of these are in charge of what an individual's biological destiny considers healthiest and most sustainable. Holding one's body at a level lower (or higher) than it uniquely needs to be is as unnatural as holding one's breath.

Nowhere is this idea of weight as a moral, health, and appearance choice more dangerous than when we apply it to children. Developing bodies need regular, varied, wholesome nourishment as well as physical activity, sleep, emotional regulation, and a loving safe environment. Children also need adults and medical professionals to help children appreciate and nurture their unique bodies and genetic destinies.

All of these are adult responsibilities.

All of these are failed, unconscionably and cruelly, by the Children's Healthcare of Atlanta "Stop Sugarcoating" obesity campaign.

Shaming children's bodies for their size is little different than shaming children for their their height, color, their shoe size - or their health conditions. This campaign is an assault on children, not a protection.

Even if you believe that children's weight is an appropriate health target (I don't, I believe healthy behaviors are), do you really believe shame works? Do you believe it is lack of shame that is guiding behaviors? Well, I think you are wrong. I think this campaign and the current obesity hysteria that makes it possible is causing untold harm - and no clarity or healthcare improvement.

This hysteria serves nothing but the diet industry and the self-congratulary and self-flagellating weight prejudice so endemic to current society.

Please join me and a growing army of people fighting back against this campaign.

Wait, did the paradigm shift and no one told me?

2012-01-05T13:42:00.000-05:00

I know this is common in activists and campaigners: we keep haranguing away even after our point is not only accepted but assumed. But, when I read articles like this I want to send it back to Laura2002 with a hug and a high-five:

The Starving Brain by Wenda Reed

I mean, even the accompanying photo thrills me. Look: it's a mirror shot but the distortion is of the person's face, not body size! It's not an empty plate! It is us looking at a young person who is not seeing herself clearly - woo-hoo!

This article is filled with SCIENCE and reinforced by comments by NEDA's director emphasizing the science and the departure from the myths of the past.

It includes comments by patients and their families!

I am going to run out of exclamation points!!

Really, thank you Wenda Reed, and Seattle Woman, and all the people quoted. This is the kind of article that offers genuine hope and grounded information for families seeking care. This is all people like me want, really.

more afraid of the chemo than the tumor?

2012-01-05T09:10:00.000-05:00

The jury's still out on how fast to re-nourish a hospitalized anorexia patient: although each hospital has its own approach there is limited evidence on how fast, how much, and how. Personally, I think our job is to stop waiting until a patient is emaciated: if outpatient re-feeding isn't working then hospitalize for ANY lost nutrition. Still, I'm glad to see more attention to the medical issues here and some evidence being gathered: I have heard privately from several clinicians who do think the level of timidity of early re-feeding is based on urban legend and not facts - and in reality may be harming patients in the long-term.

Most alarming, and seen in the New York Times article about a small study on avoiding re-feeding syndrome, is the idea that the patient's desires and distress should be part of the calculation. Yes, eating disorder patients find it traumatic and undesirable to gain weight more quickly or at all -- that's the most prominent symptom of an eating disorder! Avoiding re-feeding syndrome is a VERY important medical issue but can not be obscured by the patient's cognitions and insight.

What if chemo patients were treated this way: their tumors were considered less of a danger than the chemo? Insulin shots and chemo and debriding wounds are all distressing and traumatic but our job is to comfort and support our loved ones through that and not to damage their health by avoiding appropriate medical care.

repairing brain damage: with song!

2012-01-04T09:27:00.000-05:00

Many people criticize the use of the term "brain disorder," but here is an example of why I find the term optimistic and not fatalistic:

Singing Therapy Helps Stroke Patients Speak Again

The brain is plastic: interacting with the environment and changed by experience. When there is damage, or developmental problems, or an individual is born with a predisposition to a mental illness there is hope through re-building and strengthening and skills-training.

Why I won't be dieting in 2012

2012-01-03T10:29:00.000-05:00

New Year's diet resolutions are as normalized as midnight champagne toasts. Sorry: I no longer stay up drinking until midnight on New Year's Eve and I sure as heck am not resolving to lose weight this year or any year.

I'm a middle-aged woman with jiggles: isn't it my moral and health obligation to want to lose weight all the time? No. In fact, my New Year's Advice is, as usual, for everyone I know to STOP dieting. They won't listen to me, of course, but still.

For anyone out there still listening, please read Why Lost Pounds Come Back. The piece is notable not only for the content, but for who wrote it. Parker-Pope makes some startling personal observations and I appreciate them because I've cringed and groaned at many of her comments over the years about eating and weight and eating disorders. She sounds as if she is nearly into a new paradigm -- not quite, but the tipping point is near. She has a great deal of power in her position at the Times, so when she DOES get there it will have an impact.

It is brave, in our society and in the healthcare science field, to suggest that weight loss is not the Holy Grail. Many of us in the eating disorder world have accepted that already and we are familiar with the science behind this seemingly endlessly shocking idea.

"Giving up" on weight loss isn't as hard as it may seem. Once I accepted that weight "loss" is really unhealthy "weight cycling" I was able to enjoy eating, exercise, and my amazing body a great deal more. I got healthier, and happier. Once I stopped reflexively and boringly dissing my body size it opened up an enormous warmth for other people as well. I wasn't giving up on anything, it turns out, because it was an unhealthy and and self-defeating illusion. Do I fleetingly, secretly wish I could slip into my 1980s jeans or still use that cute belt I loved as a young professional in Manhattan? Yes, I do. But would doing that for a few months be worth the health damage - mental health included - that would linger for years and probably the rest of my life? Obviously NOT. What a silly, meaningless, irrelevant goal. It's like holding your breath: not sustainable and what for, exactly?

I am quite sure that in 5-10 years few people will still be drinking the Kool-Aid on weight loss -- doctors will be cautioning us against weight cycling, and at New Year's the resolutions will be to enjoy our bodies with good food, good activity, good sleep, good relationships FOR THEIR OWN SAKE. Resolving to do healthy things in pursuit of and measured by appearance is not healthy and not sustainable: and generally lasts until February 15 or so when the self-reproach season begins anew. Thank goodness New Year's Resolutions only come once a year!