Arja Kajermo

My faithless dog

2012-04-03T17:41:00.004+01:00

Why are dogs supposed to symbolize fidelity and loyalty? My little dog is a faithless hound. Every morning I go to the park to let her play with dogs of all shapes and sizes. She gets on fine with the dogs but she has formed a strong relationship with a woman- let's call her M- who distributes treats to all dogs. These treats are unconditional and given with a generous heart and hand.( Not like my treats that are doled out for "good behaviour" and sparingly).

When M comes to the park my dog run towards her faster than a speeding bullet. She dances on her back legs with her mouth open in a wide grin in front of M. She is beside herself with joy. She runs around M in a circle. Then she gets the biscuit. It is of a brand called Biscroc.

Next day I go out and buy biscuits called Biscroc. I train my dog to come to me to get a Biscroc. She comes running alright. But her mouth is closed. She doesn't dance. There is no grin from ear to ear. She is just doing her job.

When we are leaving she decides not to come to me. I have to ask M to call her for me. My dog pricks up her ears and returns faster than a speeding bullet. M gives her a Biscroc and my dog is overjoyed.

The pain of it.

Thomas Clarke's house

2011-08-02T12:26:00.005+01:00

This is the house (in Richmond Avenue, Fairview) where Thomas Clarke, signatory to the 1916 Proclamation, lived
The night before the rising Thomas Clarke, his wife Kathleen and his two bodyguards planned what to do in case of a raid.

Kathleen Clarke tells the story: "....the hall door was in the middle of the house, with rooms on each side, and the stairs faced the hall door. If a knock came, I was to go to the door and ask who was there. If the answer the police or the military, I was to say nothing but open the door, keeping close behind it. Tom was to be in the door of the room on the other side of the hall door, and Tommy and Sean were to take up a position at the head of the first flight of stairs. We were to fire at each man as he came in, and it was to be a fight to the finish."
(The quote is from "Revolutionary Woman" by Kathleen Clarke, edited by Helen Litton)

The next day Thomas Clarke left this house to start the uprising.

In 1919 Madam Markievicz moved in (with all her "valuable furniture" that filled four rooms of the house!). The house was raided by the military several times while Kathleen Clarke and her children and Madame Markievicz lived there.

A house of historic importance. Now in a very precarious state...

Swedish Embassy in Dublin

2010-02-04T12:31:00.007Z

This is a great little country! The bicycle scheme (last blog) in Dublin has succeeded better in Dublin than in any other capital in EU. Heartwarming, eh?
But not everyone believes in this great country in these times of adversity, economic downturn, wooden shoes and brass money. Sweden has decided to pull out of Ireland. Or at least their Department of Foreign Affairs, led by Mr. Carl Bildt, has decided to remove the Swedish embassies in Bratislava, Dakar, Ljubljana, Luxembourg, Sofia and...DUBLIN!
Luxembourg is only a stamp and Bratislava is only an hour on the bus to Vienna. So no big deal for them. (Don't know about the rest.)
But pulling out of Ireland? Are the Swedes going to let the embassy in LONDON handle Irish affairs?!
Message from Sweden. You are going down the plughole so we are leaving now. Lie down and die you sick man of Europe. Our man in London will deal with your little matters.
But I am not bitter.

Dubin transport

2009-06-21T12:40:00.003+01:00

The useless government have come up with a GOOD PLAN plan that I am totally in favour of! (Will wonders never cease?)
They want to introduce a premium cycling infrastructure. There will be 109 schemes (why not 110?) to improve things for cyclists, including the creation of "motor ways" for cyclists, tax breaks for the purchase of bikes, identifying inter- urban cycling routes, the development of a "culture of cycling" et.c
All good stuff to help people get around. It would also be like introducing a free "citizens gym" which would help against the obesity epidemic. And possibly save many lives - cyclists are every so often crushed under the wheels of the progress of the juggernaut...

This will cost €2.3 billion. Worth every cent if you ask me.

But if you ask Labour Party transport spokesman Tommy Broughan? -The man from Labour says NO!
He mocks the idea, he knocks it on the head from every angle. He says it is a Flann O'Brien style proposal. He says Labour is supportive of cycling -says he has an old bike in the shed himself- but this plan he can not support because it costs too much MONEY.

To this I say - Tommy, take that bike OUT of the shed and think again!!! Please do.

Once more on Dublin Bus 123

2009-04-06T14:13:00.004+01:00

It was on the 3rd of April, on the bus 123 that leaves the terminus in Marino at 11.18, that we once again gathered for yet another journey. We were all grown up so we knew what we were letting ourselves in for but there was an air of optimism on board all the same.

We were going at a brisk pace, picking up passengers in Ballybough and Summerhill. And then- the bus stopped in Parnell Street. The engine was turned off. Damn! Was this the LONG wait for the new driver? No, the driver explains, he has been instructed by management not to enter the city centre until the time table says so.

We the passsengers go into baffled mode. Why leave us waiting in Parnell Street? Why can the bus not go two more stops and let us get off in O'Connell Street (where most of us are going) and wait there for the correct time table departure. Rules, says the driver, orders from the management.

A mini riot breaks out. I feel steam coming out of my ears. Everyone has something to say and says it out loud. A pensioner starts shouting about being a union man, about having worked all his life - for THIS?! The driver takes a lot of flak. He tells us to complain at head office. We tell him to drive on but he wont. We wont get off and walk the two stops because it is just that bit too far.

Annoying, annoying beyond belief.

Dublin Bus 123 - the best thing about

2009-02-19T13:07:00.004Z

The best thing about Dublin bus 123 is the stop in O'Connell outside Penney's. A uniformed employee of Dublin Bus whose sole duty appears to be "passenger calming" is stationed at this stop.
He is a charming and personable man with a talent for dealing with the public. Everyone who has been in a job that involves dealing with the public knows what a chore that is and how quickly one can change from a benevolent person to a humanity hating lunatic. Not so this man. He is forever cheerful. He creates so much good will for Dublin Bus that he should be paid like a celebrity or a film star.
Sadly he has a small flaw - he has absolutely NO idea when the next bus might arrive. Ask him and he will say chirpely: In three minutes-that's not very long is it!
You cheer up, you think you are in luck. Twenty minutes later you watch him speak into a phone (or radio?) but the phone is only a prop and he is only pretending to talk to somebody. He does not know if or when there will be a bus 123 -soon, today or ever!
He is only like the rest of us.

My place in the pack

2008-12-11T14:07:00.007Z

Ten years ago or so, I bought a dog, or should I say -I was sold a pup! She was six months old and seemed adorable. And normal. Maybe it was a bit dark in that parking lot (ha ha) for it turned out she was not NEAR well in the mental department.
The dog was (is!) a bundle of nerves and irrational fears. Is she a genetically modified product of puppy farming? I shall never know. Two professional dog trainers and an animal behaviourist and my own efforts have failed to change her highly strung nature.
She is an intelligent dog however and with small rewards and encouragement she can learn...anything! (The "small rewards" have made her put on a little weight.)
But she is often ill with stress related ailments which means we often go to the vet.

Here is one such visit:
Vet-"Could you lift your dog up on the table"
Me-"Eh..she is a bit heavy and I have a bad back...?"
Vet-"I would like to have her on the table"
I lift the struggling and howling dog on to the table. She has to be muzzled.
Vet-"Now LOOK at the dog"
Me- "eh..? Yeah..?"
Vet- "Tell me what you see! Would you say she is overweight?"
Me- "No...only a tiny bit"
Vet-"HOW do you expect your dog to carry that weight on those thin legs?"

The vet has a Socratic questioning style. I don't like it! My dog is very slightly overweight for a good cause which is to put manners on her by rewarding good behaviour. And anyway my dog's weight is supported by FOUR legs!
I say nothing to the vet because I respect authority and a white coat.
Unlike my dog I know my place in the pack.

scary dog, eisode 3

2008-12-03T18:48:00.002Z

When my dog was a young, slim thing my two Sons used to walk her. One day a pitbull shot out of the park (like a bat out of hell) after them and grabbed our dog by the neck. There was no warning, no foreplay, just straight for the neck. It dragged our dog on to the road and held our dog (by the neck) until she stopped struggling.
A woman motorist stepped out of her car,took stock of the situation, ran to a house, explained the situation, asked for a bucket of water, got the bucket and poured it over the pitbull's head. The pitbull let go of our dog and attacked Son number one. When the owner tried to stop the attack she got bitten herself.
The injuries were: a deep puncture wound to the neck of our dog and many teeth marks to my Son's hands and tattered nerves all around.
This attack was reported to the Guards (who already knew because the woman motorist had been in). We were told to contact the Dog Warden.The Dog Warden told us that nothing could be done until we got the name and address of the dog and its owner.
So take note: If you survive a dog attack- don't forget to ask for name, address and date of birth of the pitbull.
For it is always a pitbull, I don't care what you say.

scary dog, episode 2

2008-12-01T17:06:00.002Z

A good while back, when my highly strung nervous dog was a small highly strung pup, we were ambushed by a big Alsatian. The Alsatian chased and chased and chased my terrified pup until she could run no more.
"PLEASE call your dog in, PLEASE put your dog on a leash", I kept calling to the Alsatian' s slackjawed master. Nothing doing. No reaction.
At this point the Alsatian was taking great big leaps in the air and landing on top of my pup - seemingly with the intention of breaking the pups back? My pup whimpered and whined and cried. I tried to step in between the Alsatian and the pup. The Alsatian kept circling us and when it lept at us I put my foot up to try and stop it. I was hopping around on one leg and holding the other leg out at an angle, hoping that the dog would not bite through my boot.
At this point the Alsatian's master came to life; "Are you effing kicking my dog you effing ... I'll effing kill you you effing..."
Argue with that? Reader, I nearly died.

Scary dogs, episode 1

2008-11-30T17:55:00.003Z

Being a member of the dog owning community I can feel free to criticize my own kind, right? Most dog owners are bonkers and the more bonkers the more obnoxiuos the dog.

This is what happened to me a while back. I was walking in the park with my medium sized dog( a Finnish spitz by breed, a poorly socialized nervous wreck by nature) when a Great Dane came running towards us. The Dane was on a leash dragging a young fit Irish man behind it.

By one light tap of the paw the dog had me tumbling the ground. It put its two front paws on my chest and opened its mouth over my face. Drops of sig saliva was falling into my eyes. My level of fear was OFF the scale at this point. I had a desperate plan - if I could reach my own dog maybe I could push it into the Dane's crocodile jaws and save myself before it ripped my face off?

Fortunately the dog released me. I stood up covered in mud, trembling like a cartoon figure and said "That's some animal you have there! (I was reared near Sparta)
The young man answered: "He is only a pup, he was only playing"

Signs

2008-11-25T15:28:00.004Z

See the signs - how bright they shine. Everywhere I see warnings about dog fouling. But has anyone in the history of the state been fined? I don't think so but by all means - make my day - prove me wrong!
My local green politician Cllr Bronwen Maher has just given me a handy leaflet of Services. If I want one of these magic signs erected in my area I can ring Dog Control Section. I already HAVE a sign in my street. But still the dogs do their thing...

Here are more fantastic claims -"dogs must be kept on a leash" in Fairview Park. Ha, ha, ha! "Relevant breeds must be muzzled". HA HA HA! And as for "removing the faeces". HA HA HA!

And as for "bringing your dog waste home"? Give me a break while I cry. There is a compromise solution amongst the Dublin dog owning community. People who bag their "dog waste" throw the bag on the ground where the dog deposited it. This goes some way towards the solution ,I know, but it is still a sad sight. ( I am picky, I know, WHY don't I just go home where I came from?)

And the best one I have saved till last. "When your dog has done its business...Do yours!" Shudder...

Dogwalks

2008-05-27T08:49:00.004+01:00

Just back from Stockholm and their splendid public transport. You get one ticket that is valid for the bus, the metro and the local trains. It was almost too good to be true and if I like it so much why don't I just eff off and go and live there? No, I love it too much here in Dublin.There is more to life than buses and trains.

Mostly I move about on foot anyway for I am pedestrian by nature. Also I have the damned dog (of which more at a later date) to walk every day. I am something of a pioneer on the "pick up after your dog" front and always carry several little black plastic purpose-made bags for picking up dog poo.
I import them especially from Sweden (but of course!)

Some days, when I feel strong, I go into pioneer mode when I see other dog owners who let their mutts foul the pavement while temporary blindness overcomes them. (Smell no evil, see no evil!) At that moment I step forward, smile a sunny smile, hold out a dog poo bag and say: "Would you like one of these? "
This may sound easy but it is actually VERY difficult. The trick is not to allow any hint of criticism into the moment. This means that I must not even FEEL critical or all will be lost.
It is almost a zen moment and it is rare.

On one of those rare days when I felt I could make my generous offer with joy in my heart my fellow dog owner took the bag and looked at it. She looked at the dog poo on the pavement. Looked at the bag again and said "But is it biodegradable?"
Touche!

Dublin trafic

2007-11-10T14:51:00.000Z

You are never going to give up your auld cars, are you? Especially not your shiny new cars. After seven (or is it eight?) hundred years of oppression you DO want to step in to your new cars and hurtle yourself freely along the streets of Dublin at...is it six miles an hour at rush hour?
So you sit in a brand new shiny car with blackened windows and roll down the road at six miles an hour. That way you can combine an "almost Latin disregard for time" ( I quote Benedict Kiely - I don't make all this stuff up, you know) with the satisfaction of knowing that your car COULD also move at 150 miles an hour.
Makes sense, eh ?

Dublin could be heaven

2007-11-02T15:27:00.000Z

I have been riding on my bike all summer. My conclusion is - the bike is the only way forward! And the bus, the tram and the occasional taxi for the rainy days. The private car is such an antisocial destroyer of civilized city living. And probably the root cause of the obesity epidemic.
The city would look spacious without the cars, the air would be cleaner and and walking could become a pleasure again. Need I go on? Are you with me on this one?

Punishing Dublin Bus

2007-07-06T11:57:00.001+01:00

I have been walking everywhere. The rain has been falling hard and fast and I have got very wet. I think I have nearly punished Dublin Bus enough now and I am ready to get back on the bus again. If I am let. Please.
I have tried cycling because I have an excellent Swedish bike called "Skeppshult Natur". I can also avail of the best bicycle path in the country. Unfortunately the path does not take me IN to the city centre, where I want to go, but AWAY in the other direction. But then you can't have everything. So my cycling has been mostly for practice (and to regain the whippet thin looks that are mine by right).
Anyway- the "best in the country" cycle path runs along the sea front in Clontarf. There is also a wide promenade for pedestrians to stroll along. The promenade is right beside the water where the air is cleaner and where you have a good view of the bay and you can listen to the lapping of the waves. For some reason many families with toddlers and walkers of dogs prefer to use the cycle path nearer to the busy road for their leisurely walks.
When approaching these people I have tried using the little Swedish bell on my bike to alert them. The bell makes a discrete "bing" sound. In Swedish that means "excuse me, please, I am about to overtake". But to my horror it means something ENTIRELY different in Hiberno-English. Judging from the reactions I think it means "get the f--k out of my way". Or maybe something even worse.
Maybe someone out there can tell me what "bing" means in English. (The bell can also make a "bingeling-ling-ling" sound- but I am too scared to try that one)

The Bus 123 and I

2007-06-20T12:31:00.000+01:00

The people chose not to change the government so I suppose the buses will not run as usual, ha ha.
The other day I took my seat yet again among the elect, the section of the population of Dublin who are at the mercy of bus No. 123. The woman next to me started rambling on about this and that. This is something I have always liked about Dublin buses. There is often an "ole wan", an old woman who will tell you what she thinks about things in a friendly and non-threatening way. Usually she doesn't expect any response from you, your job is to listen. I was sitting comfortably, this old one had already begun her story. She was racing through the morning's events "...bus pass... waited for the bus... rain..shocking..." etc.
Then suddenly she went ".. .east Europeans... coming here... taking over... criminals... scoundrels... shouldn't be allowed... go home " etc.
She was leaning towards me. Her breath was in my face like a rotten dish cloth. I looked away. Should I say something? Am I "east European" myself? Does it make a difference? I kept my hooded ( slightly Mongolian?) eyes on the floor. I was overcome by embarrassment. For myself. For her. For the bus route.
I am going to WALK everywhere from now on as far as is possible.

Our bus 123

2007-05-18T12:15:00.000+01:00

We, the travelling public, who use Dublin Bus 123 aim to turn up at the bus stop washed, brushed, sweet smelling and reasonably sober.
Some of us on this route do not come within an ass's roar of this our mutual goal. Sadly, urinary incontinence seems to be very common on our bus. A slow and persistant dribble. I cannot blame Dublin Bus for this. I blame the health service. Charles Haughey (was it?) gave the over 65s free bus passes. Could somebody PLEASE give them an adequate health service as well to see to this urgent problem.
Add to this whiff the smell of the young, seriously unwashed man. And the smell of the old scary man who is both drunk and unwashed and talking to himself (in a threatening way) and you get quite an "athmosphere" on the bus.
So our route 123 seems to pick up some of the most wretched bus users of this city. Is THAT why we don't deserve a better service?

Election posters

2007-05-12T18:17:00.000+01:00

I wish people would not wreck election posters. Keep doing it and it will be the end of democracy and then there will only be posters of a dictator. And if you scribble on dictator posters you will have your hands chopped off and you will be hanged. I am only saying - show a LITTLE respect for the brave people who put themselves forward!
I respect the candidate (for the government party) with the VERY rosy cheeks. Country people the world over admire a young woman with rosy cheeks. It means:
1. She is healthy - no TB or tape worms there.
2. She is flushed from running around the farm - no lazy cow she.
3. She blushes easily - she is no brazen hussy.
That is what country people think. But what do urban sophisticates think? A country girl is used to one bus a day to the nearest market town. Does she understand the notion of a city bus running every seven minutes? No, I don't think so. Don't vote for her, vote for somebody pale and interesting who understands city traffic.

My bus 123

2007-05-08T16:57:00.000+01:00

The election posters are up and hanging. I admire people who have the guts to stand for public office. And I would like to think they will make the buses run on time - in a democratic way of course- once they are the elected representatives of the people.
Some I admire a little less. Or not at all as in the case of a certain candidate for the government party. He holds his blue eyes wide open in mock innocence as if he was saying. "No Ma, I would never do anything like that". His mouth is open showing most of his teeth but he is not smiling. He is in trouble and if he smiles his Ma will give him a slap. Maybe he can fool his Ma but can he fool the people?
I just know he wont make my bus run.

Further more on Dublin Bus 123

2007-05-04T10:42:00.000+01:00

So why does a person wait 45 minutes in Dame Street for a 123 - a bus that is supposed to run every 7 minutes?
Well, the first 7 minutes is just normal waiting. After 14 minutes your chances of getting a 123 have doubled, after 21 minutes your chances have tripled and so on. After 28 minutes you have invested so much in the wait that you feel you MUST stay. After 42 minutes you realize that you are an idiot and wave a taxi.
You have given Dublin Bus three quarters of an hour of your wretched life, all for nothing. (The taxi home costs you €10.)
An awful service and not enough of it (ha ha!). Somebody out there thinks we don't deserve any better...

More about the 123

2007-05-02T11:46:00.000+01:00

So why don't I walk then if Dublin Bus 123 is so slow and unreliable?

Because sometimes this happens: I go to the bus stop and wait two minutes and the 123 comes and brings me in to town in eight minutes. Nothing crazy happens on the bus.
Distance travelled: 2 km Time taken (incl. waiting): 10 minutes

This happens VERY seldom, just often enough to make me think it could happen again. It is like the lottery really. You partake because you totally overestimate the chances of a successful outcome.

Dublin Bus 123

2007-05-01T12:16:00.000+01:00

The bus 123 is the bus for the wretched and the huddled. It is scheduled to run every 7 minutes. In real life that means about twice every hour.
This is what happened the other day. I waited 20 minutes in O'Connell Street. The 123 arrived (glory be!), I boarded the bus and got a seat (all this AND a seat!). The bus moved 500 metres and stopped. We were told to get out and take the bus behind us. We shuffle, shuffle, shuffle with our bags and buggies onto the other bus.
The middle aged couple in front of me are enjoying a quiet drink out of a paper bag. Suddenly the woman leans forward and gets sick. It comes out clear as a stream. Absolut vodka, no breakfast.
She takes off her scarf and tries to wipe it up. But it is too much. When the stream reaches the driver he stops and radios for a replacement bus. We sit and wait. The couple get off. The woman, (or I should say the lady - because given the unfortunate circumstances she has behaved impeccably) apologizes to us and the driver.
Distance travelled:2 km Time taken (incl. waiting) :48 minutes

So Good Bye then, Social Justice

2007-04-25T18:17:00.000+01:00

I was walking past Stephen's Green in Dublin the other day. There were a good few young people relaxing on the short grass in the sun. Rather idyllic, I thought.
And then, right in front of me, there was a drunken wreck of a man, not quite relaxing but reclining on the pavement. He had the look of a man who had lost hope decades ago.
And right in front of him facing him but not quite seeing him stood a well turned out gentleman with a brief case with a promotional text: ".. something ... TOP DOG ... something."
"Would make a great photo", I thought, "the contrast."
A great photo?? "A GREAT PHOTO"?!
Have I had an Outrage By-Pass or have I become an Artist? Have I resigned myself to living in a society that doesn't care?
Watch this space.

My new Swenglish blog

2007-04-25T17:54:00.000+01:00

I have been away a long time now, grazing in the long grass. While ruminating this and that I noticed that Carl Bildt is blogging both in English and Swedish. Or he used to write his blog in English and now he writes in Swedish. So I must do the opposite (obviously) - no more Swedish for me. For a while anyway.

Mera tankar om Urhunden

2006-06-22T11:57:00.000+01:00

Jag gick in och googlade "urhunden" och till min bestörtning ser jag att några snubbar tycker att det är alldeles för många nomineringar till Urhundspriset! (Kan de mena mig och min bok "En pillig sol i Särholmen"?)

Det tycker inte jag. Det ska vara många! Vari ligger spänningen med enbart tre nomineringar? Då har man ju i det närmaste redan utsett vinnaren. Jag hoppas att prisutdelningen blir stort och jättehäftig och dit kommer jag gärna i finklänning. Och när vinnarens namn läses upp kan jag se lagom bestört ut först och sedan ska jag applådera och sedan blir det fest hoppas jag. Och så hoppas jag att det är en massa journalister där och att serieböckerna och serietecknandet får en massa sidor i tidningarna som följd.