armed victim

- Progressives Unveil Monument to Cindy Sheehan

2005-08-16T00:20:00.000-04:00

Proclaiming her a "Great American Hero", progressives unveiled a monument to Cindy Sheehan today in Crawford Texas. When asked about a memorial for Casey Sheehan, a spokesman said, "We haven't really...

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Madonna Introduces Cockfighting to UK

2005-07-19T12:29:00.000-04:00

In a surprise move, Madonna has introduced cockfighting to her community in England. Madonna believed introducing the new "sport" would expand the communty's cultural horizon and increase her...

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- Valerie Plame Responsible for Bad Iraqi WMD Intel

2005-07-17T13:43:00.000-04:00

L - Wilson & Plame at recent Demo fundraiser R - Wilson with Plame (under cover) An unnamed source disclosed today that Valerie Plame was solely responsible for the bad intelligence that lead...

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- BBC Changes Name to BC

2005-07-13T00:11:00.000-04:00

The British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) has changed its name to the "Broadcasting Corporation" (BC) because it does not want to mislead anyone who might believe it represents British interests. A...

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Secretary of States Cuts Hawaii Loose, Installs Israel

2005-07-12T13:16:00.000-04:00

In response to China's recent purchase of Taiwan and Cuba, States Department spokesman Richard Bowcher announced today that Secretary of States Condi Rice had revoked Hawaii's statehood and imposed...

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- Democratic Operatives Say Rove Leaked Withdrawal Memo

2005-07-11T21:04:00.000-04:00

Unnamed Democratic operatives said today that they believe Karl Rove was behind the secret British memo that says the US and Britain will withdraw the majority of their troops from Iraq in 2006. "We...

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- Martha Stewart Speaks Out on Behalf of Lil' Kim and Judith Miller

2005-07-11T18:31:00.000-04:00

Today, during an episode of her latest cooking show, "Calaboose Cuisine", Martha Stewart went off scipt and launched into an emotional tirade in support of her convict friends, Lil' Kim and Judith...

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- Hurricane Critics Say Dennis was Over-hyped

2005-07-11T17:22:00.000-04:00

Several Hurricane critics gave Hurricane Dennis a thumbs down today as it left the theater. One critic said, "Dennis was supposed to be the first blockbuster hurricane of the summer but it didn't...

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- Emminent Domain Name Ruling Goes for Google

2005-07-09T23:30:00.000-04:00

Attorneys for Google announced today that they had won a suit against an individual who they charged with "typosquatting" on their domain. Google was awarded ownership of several of the individual's...

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- Citizens of Kentucky's 37th Senate Distict Auction Vacant Seat on Ebay

2005-07-09T21:47:00.000-04:00

A spokesman for the citizens of Kentucky's 37th Senate District said that they had reached agreement with the State Senate and Franklin County judge and planned to auction a vacant Senate seat on...

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- Government of Sri Lanka Destroys Guns to Create Peaceful Atmosphere

2005-07-09T20:33:00.000-04:00

Today, on International Day Against Illegal Firearms Day, the Government of Sri Lanka steamrolled over 30,000 small arms that had been recovered by the police over the last 14 years. Regarding the...

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- Historian Zen Proves Churchill's Indian Ancestry

2005-07-09T16:24:00.000-04:00

Based on a recently discovered archive of Native American history, historian Howard Zen has conclusively established that Ward Churchill is "Indigenous". Commenting on his research Zen said,...

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- Send an E-mail to Tony Blair

2005-07-08T11:04:00.000-04:00

The Link and a suggestion for your correspondence: Dear Mr. Prime Minister, (your own words of support and encouragement here). Bloody Brilliant Idea from ThirdWaveDave!

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- Democrats Upstage Republicans on Supreme Court Nominee Hearing Advisors

2005-07-07T21:03:00.000-04:00

A spokesman for Democrats on the Senate Judiciary Committee announced today that in response to Republicans appointment of Fred Thompson as an "advisor" to the President's Supreme Court nominee, they...

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- Armed Victim Plagiarized by NY Times

2005-07-07T13:26:00.000-04:00

Armed Victim announced today that his blog had been plagiarized in an incident similar to that of the theft of material from Pirate Ballerina by WorldNetDaily News. I broke the story, "Senate...

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- God Save the Queen

2005-07-07T12:14:00.000-04:00

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- Bush to Get Tricycle

2005-07-07T02:37:00.000-04:00

Anonymous White House sources said today that Vice President Cheney had revoked the President's bicycle privileges effectively immediately, but would allow him to ride a tricycle instead. An amateur...

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- Jacque Chirac Eats Humble Pie

2005-07-07T02:31:00.000-04:00

A spokesman for the British 2012 Olympic committee said, "The British are well known for our dry sense of humor. We find it especially ironic that Mr. Chirac is forced to eat a rather large helping...

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- Melee Breaks Out At Wind Farm Protest

2005-07-07T01:45:00.000-04:00

A riot broke out today outside the Alameda County Courthouse when activists from the Center for Biodiversity and PETA clashed with activists from the Sierra Club. The former group is suing the wind...

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- Saddam Scores Big With Media Deal

2005-07-05T17:29:00.000-04:00

Michael Obitz, Saddam Hussein’s new agent, announced today that Saddam had agreed to participate in a movie, a TV show and several product merchandising deals to cash-in on his celebrity. Obitz said,...

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- China buys Taiwan and Cuba

2005-07-05T01:06:00.000-04:00

The Peoples Republic of China, Inc. announced today that it will purchase Taiwan and Cuba. Wang Xudong, Minister of Information said, "Investment bankers from Goldman Sachs brought us the deal. They...

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- Comet on Collision Course with Earth

2005-07-04T09:24:00.000-04:00

NASA announced today that there were unintended consequences to their latest mission that smashed a space probe into a comet. Only hours after the scientists at mission control celebrated their...

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- Senator Hagel Launches New Strategy

2005-07-03T02:09:00.000-04:00

Senator Hagel, a likely Presidential Candidate in 2008, has launched a new public relations strategy based on his observations of Democratic fence straddling techniques used in the 2004 campaign....

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- Senate Decides to Clone Justice O'Connor

2005-07-03T00:34:00.000-04:00

A spokesman for the gang of 14 Senators said today that the Senate reached a compromise to break the deadlock on the nomination of a new Supreme Court Justice to replace Sandra Day O'Connor. He said,...

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- Brain Word Banned By Government

2005-06-30T15:35:00.000-04:00

According to a recent report, a department of the Government of Northern Ireland has banned the use of the word "brainstorm" because it determined that epileptics might be offended. A citizens group,...

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