The trophy was played for in the early 1970s but its success was hardly uproarious and it soon fell on its sword with clubs, certainly the bigger teams in the old top flight, largely ignoring it. Now, though, it is being reinstated as a recognised and sanctioned tournament after being resurrected by a group of supporters who are keen to see a surge in the values of the game as it was in the past.

Jim Marmite-Frosties, a Tranmere Rovers season ticket holder, heads up Football Nostalgia Limited the firm behind the new version of the Watney Cup. And he believes the Gunners could add some sparkle to the competition and argues winning the silverware would be on a par with any success in the Europa League. Unai Emery’s side missed out on glory last season as they lost 4-1 to Chelsea in the final.

“The Europa League is very much a poor man’s Champions League and hardly worth bothering about,”

said Marmite-Frosties, a pig farm labourer from Cleckheaton, Kirklees, in West Yorkshire.

“Arsenal still have some star quality and we would be totally thrilled if they chose to take up our offer of entering the competition. They entered a team in the Checkatrade Trophy last season — they got knocked out by Pompey — so it’s certainly not beneath them to enter a less-than-prestigious cup competition. We’ve written to the club and we’re awaiting a response. We remain confident… er, well, confident that they will reply, anyway.”

Marmite-Frosties explains that the cup has a rich history, adding:

“The first ever penalty shootout in England took place in a semi-final of the 1970 game between Hull and Man United, who won it — and the first player to take a kick was none other than George Best, and the first to miss was Denis Law! So, you see it has a decent track record and we want to bring that type of football back to life. Nostalgia is our thing and we don’t care who knows it.”

Clubs who have already confirmed they will play in the Watney Cup include Crewe, Walsall, Grimsby, Hull City, Cardiff City Plymouth, WBA and Real Madrid. Crewe chairman Eric Shaw says giving it a go in the Watney Cup was a no-brainer. He added:

“Giving it a go in the Watney Cup was a no-brainer.”

• For the record, the Watney Cup originally ran from 1970 through to 1973 and the winners, in date order, were Derby County (who actually beat Manchester United in the final), Colchester United, Bristol Rovers and Stoke City.

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The most memorable moment of the evening came when the lighting rigs bathed the whole audience in a yellow tint as Christopher, Anthony, John and Martin – who form the group – sang:

“Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you
And everything you do
Yeah they were all yellow”

This left us all with feelings of happiness and optimism for the future – like that summer which will always follow winter, no matter how cold and harsh things might appear at the time.

Arsene Wenger might have been feeling similarly wistful before the League Cup Final at the same Wembley Stadium on Sunday. He once looked out on stars such as Vieira, Petit, Wright, Bergkamp and Henry and knew that they would shine for him and all Arsenal fans in everything they did; everywhere they played.

Arsene’s memories of long, happy days, bathed in the sunshine of football success, seem to have denied the very real march of long shadows that shroud so many of the pitches on which his teams try to recreate that magic. Arsene still believes that summer can come again but, really, these are days of autumn. Johnny Halliday has sadly gone forever; rock and roll has been replaced by a dressing room that sits somewhere between a rock and a hard place.

Yellow can also be the colour of cowardice – even deceit – and recent years have shown this to be a cancer at the Emirates which Arsene has failed to cut out, preferring a nice new cardigan to hide everything inside instead. Spending large amounts of money to buy success from ‘proven’ players was never the Arsenal way (remember Martin Keown being summarily exported by George Graham for seeking a pay rise?) and Arsene has probably never been able to quite compromise his own coaching ideals to accommodate them in each side he has tried to build.

FA Cup successes are remembered less than the battering they have received from the likes of Bayern Munich and Stoke City. Aaron Ramsey may once have been a Wembley hero, but wandering aimlessly around the pitch against a Manchester City team – who fear the wrath of a Pep Guardiola rant far more than Arsenal players do a stiff lecture from Arsene – was far from heroic.

Arsene even went back to his boyhood roots and crossed the border into Germany (as he often did during his coming-of-age affair with Moenchengladbach) to try and find some answers to his sides’ lack of backbone. Unfortunately, he found only Shkodran Mustafi, who had his back to Sergio Aguero, and watched nicely as the most dangerous striker on the pitch dispatched a long ball into the Arsenal net … again.

To give him his due, Shkodran did shout a lot, as did Arsene, but few could hear him above Gary Neville’s disgraceful rant about footballers being disgraceful.

Arsene stayed on in Germany to see if Borussia Dortmund – being similarly historically bound to only ever come second best – could offer up any clues. There he found that the famous ‘Yellow Wall’ was missing thousands of bricks as fans protested against Monday kick-off times which have been ordered by the TV companies that run the global game. One banner at their match against Augsburg summed up the feeling of loyal fans who have had enough of being sold out: “For fairer kick-off times for fans – no to Monday games.”

News reaches us that Arsenal fans have taken this protest movement a step further with the ‘Play fair – no to any more Arsenal games that we have to pay to endure’ movement. This is a bit long-winded for social media so a new shorthand has reduced it to ‘#Cowarsdice.’

Pep wears his yellow ribbon in support of those who have been imprisoned. Perhaps Arsenal’s players should also wear them under their bellies and show solidarity with a nod to the past. We could maybe call it ‘onturfmeant without trial.’

Arsene was once so tuned-in to a future which has become the past. He too may be seeking release as he hums along to each new Dawn:

“It’s been twenty-one long years, do you still want me?”

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This, more than any other, is the season of big spending and Wenger is certainly not the man who I expected to be taking up the column inches on the back pages of many tabloid papers. The Arsenal managers usual Transfer Window tactic involves hiding under a table until it all goes away but this season has been different.

The vast quantities of cash now pumping around the Premier League are the kind of numbers that would make Donald Trump blush so I guess it’s no surprise that Wenger has taken the rare decision to stick his hand in his pocket and actually buy some players. What is surprising is that it’s not the players on their way in that are grabbing the headlines.

For months running up to the end of last season much of the debate amongst Arsenal fans was as to whether Alexis Sanchez would be walking his beloved dogs in the leafy parks of North London next season and, for the moment at least, that future still looks unclear.

There have however been promising signs that the Chilliean will be playing his football at the Emirates next season, and I don’t just mean when Manchester City roll into town.

It is the Blues, along with Bayern Munich and Chelsea, that have reportedly shown the most interest in the Arsenal forward, and by interest, I mean sending him Snap-Chat stories of the club chairman rolling around naked on piles of money (probably). Like many football stories nowadays this one revolves around money. It would take a gargantuan amount of cash to take Sanchez away from the Emirates.

Not only is there the small matter of his wage demands, rumoured to be around £350,000 a week but there is also the transfer fee. Arsenal would no doubt expect a sizable return on the (just under) £32million they paid out for Sanchez, a player who scored 30 and assisted 15 goals last season. In the current market that works out as more money than Joey Barton has placed spent in his local bookies over the last 10 years. Even if he is in the final year of his contract.

That is just one of the reasons some hopeful Gunners have convinced themselves that their star man will stay currently no one can afford him.

There are other glimmers of light being held aloft too for the Arsenal faithful. Nailed on signs that Sanchez won’t be upping sticks and moving on yet.

For one, he appeared in the club photo shoot for their new kit. A sure sign he’s staying, right? Nothing to do with the players commercial value and flogging a few shirts. The club wouldn’t be so cynical.

For two, he says he wants Champions Leagues football. Sure, that currently isn’t on offer with Arsenal but if he just wants to PLAY in the Champions League then that’s where the club excel. Stick it out at the Emirates and he is guaranteed Champions League football, right up until they come up against Bayern Munich in the last 16. If he’s said he wanted to WIN the Champions League then he’d have to look elsewhere.

Finally, and most prominently Wenger says that he’s going nowhere.

Nothing there really inspires confidence, does it? Even Wenger’s guarantees that fans who buy a new Arsenal kit with Sanchez 10 on the back won’t be disappointed come the new season have little weight. Wenger has a history here and it doesn’t bode well.

In 2012 he said something very similar before Robin Van Prese upped sticks and moved to Manchester. It was a similar story for Emmanuel Adebayor when he moved to City. Then once again in 2011, the manager said the potential departure of Cesc Fabregas and Samir Nasri would be “The worst situation” and would prove the club lacked ambition. Can you guess what happened next?

Either Wenger doesn’t have the level of control at Arsenal that many, including himself, believe or Arsenal repeatedly and historically fails to match the ambitions of its star players.

But this time it’s going to be different.

He has made it clear that he has no intention of letting Sanchez go and is even prepared to allow the Chilean to walk away on a free. He is also clearly putting in the leg work in persuading Sanchez to stay. Talking up the clubs ambitions and even sending his star man encouraging text messages on holiday to convince him to stay (which I imagine is similar to the text messages I get from my Grandma… ALL IN CAPITAL LETTERS).

Sanchez staying at Arsenal is important for Wenger and the fans faith in his leadership but it’s just as important for the football club. If the Gunners truly have ambitions that match those of their fans and players this time they have to show it.

Personally, I’d love him to stay/ I’d love Arsenal to be mixing it with the big boys around the Top 4 next season and Sanchez is key to that… but man, just imagine Arsenal Fan TV if he DOES leave!

*********

If you like football and you own ears then check out Jim’s alternative football podcast, On The Left Side. You can listen to the latest show and check out their back catalogue below.

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In a stunning move, smacking gobs throughout the world of the Premier League, it can be revealed that a revolutionary initiative has been given the go-ahead and that the top flight’s Boxing Day fixtures will be contested by fans.

I have seen leaked documents that confirm supporters from each and every Premier League side will replace players for the Christmas time match. The powers that be have made the move in what is being seen as a two-pronged attack on the stupifying festive schedule which induces tiredness in over-privileged footballers, and as a way to engage more fully with fans.

But managers of the respective teams won’t be getting an extra day off any time soon. For the LMA has triple-confirmed that their members WILL take charge of the fan squads.

An edict winging its way to Premier League giants such as Arsenal, and sent to minor clubs also (think no ground, no top flight title since 1961) explains that another aspect of the reasoning behind the controversial decision is to give continental recruits time off to enjoy a family Christmas.

It is said that one of the main reasons Alexandre Lacazette agreed to sign for Arsenal from Lyon is that he will get Boxing Day off. A source close to Lacazette, though definitely not his cousin Romuald Lacazette, said: “Er, one of the main reasons Lacazette agreed to sign for the Gunners is that he will get Boxing Day off.”

Fans are now eagerly anticipating being chosen for their respective supporter squads. One such hopeful is Londoner John Williamson, a former Southwark Council employee, who travels all over the globe to watch Arsene Wenger’s men.

He said: “I’ve heard it called the ‘Lacazette Law’. It’s a novel idea but a fantastic opportunity, especially for someone like me. I see perhaps more than 100 games a season from the main team to the Arsenal youth teams and ladies. The next step for me is to actually play for Arsenal. Ok, I am in my 50s but I still have a turn of once, a good amount of ball skill and can damage opposition in and around the box. I just need to buy some boots if I get the nod.

“I should get in. My track record is impeccable. There aren’t many Goobers out there who went to Richie Powling’s testimonial game at Barnet. If selected, I am really looking forward to playing for Arsenal in the Premier League game at Crystal Palace. I can’t see how I can let the team down. Come on, I’ve got to be a better bet than Sebastien Squillaci, and he played for us with a pay packet each month.”

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Alexandre Lacazette and Sead Kolašinac will soon be sharing their tunes in the dressing room ahead of Arsenal games. The Lyon striker has been confirmed as the Gunners’ newest player and Kolašinac, of course, is already in the ranks of the Arsene Wenger regime.

But, it is perhaps unlikely that the pair’s shared love of one band, in particular, will go down too well as Wenger’s charges look to get fired up by some pre-match music.

For I have discovered that both stars have a passion for rascally post-punk rappers Sleaford Mods – the Nottingham mouthpieces who recently caused a bit of a stir at a popular musical festival at Glastonbury, I am told.

The punky poets, who go by the names of Jason Williamson and Andrew Fearn (mainly because that is their given names), came to the attention of defender Kolasinac when they played a secret gig at the Gelsenkirchen Dominoes Club during his first season with Schalke, from whom he joined Arsenal for a fee not unadjacent to a free transfer on a four-year deal.

Goal-getter Lacazette, meanwhile, who completed a club record £45million move to Arsenal, has a rather more unusual link to his fondness of the band.

The France star has an uncle, James LeBoat, who was the Sleaford Mods’ roadie and all-round hard nut when they toured France in 2012 after they met him at a cross-dressing networking night in Lyon.

Le Boat, now retired and who lives in the sleepy seaside village of Aldwick, West Sussex, takes up the story. He said: “The Mods are good guys and I got on with them from day one. We shared mutual interest and we worked together for a couple of months five years or so ago.

‘They were good times and I remember young Alex showing an interest in the lyrics and their political standpoint.

“I gave him Sleaford Mods t-shirt and a few CDs and thought nothing of it. He turned in to a huge fan. Now, of course, he is in England and will probably have the chance to go to a concert. I hear they are big now. The Mods, not the Arsenal. I wish them all the luck. And I wish Alex all the best, too, and ask him to remember his impoverished uncle back in France. Send me money anytime, my old pal. Send. Me. Money!”

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Arsene Wenger is fighting tooth and nail to keep Alexis Sanchez at Arsenal and time will tell if he succeeds in persuading the explosive striker to stay with the Gunners. Sanchez, 28, has one year remaining on his current contract and has been linked with a number of clubs, including Bayern Munich, Manchester City and Chelsea.

But regardless of his decision on his future, Wenger and Arsenal can count themselves lucky to have enjoyed three years of his services, I can reveal. For the South American fire-cracking net-buster was almost lost to the Beautiful Game after being offered professional terms as a synchronised swimmer as a teenager.

It’s all a far cry from tonight’s Confederation Cup semi-final showdown between Portugal and Chile, in which great things are expected of the North London hero.

Wide-eyed Sanchez was seconds away from penning a money-an-object deal with Toco Aqua Shape Squad, based in his home town, when he was persuaded to eschew a career of formation prancing in the pool and instead sign for Cobreloa, a significant football team a couple of hours inland from the Pacific port city Tocopilla.

The revelation came to light as I chatted with renowned football historian Ruben les Français over a bagel and an espresso at his coffee shop (French Pasties and more…) just a few miles from where he has a controlling interest in a local non-league side, Pagham FC, who ply their trade in the Southern Combination Football League.

Les Français, a one-time outstanding table tennis player with the UK’s only professional blindfolded team, the Rose Green Cufflinks, was unaware that the content unfolding during our tete-a-tete was of such a revelatory nature.

He assumed (to assume is to make and ass out of me and you, of course) that this information was already in the public domain. It isn’t. Or rather it wasn’t…until now, that is.

Les Français sucked hard on his One Direction-themed vape device, peered over his fake Ray Bans then winked as he disclosed: “Oh yes, the little man was an excellent synchronised swimmer. Some say even better than the ‘English fish’, Len Fisdark (universally agreed to be the greatest performer of the sport), at a comparable age.

‘I’ve seen footage of his bent knee surface arch and it was near perfect, and don’t talk to me about his front pike position.

“But, thankfully, some of these Chilean chaps knocked some sense into him and he chose football. He didn’t look back, moved to Udinese in Italy and the rest, as they say, is history.”

Arsenal may lose Sanchez this summer. Football still has him, though.

Pip pip!

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Mark the dates in your diary, gentlemen, and indeed gentlelasses: November 28, 2017; and May 13 2018. Prior to today’s announcement of the Premier league fixtures these two dates had very little significance as far as the concerns of all those who throw their hats into the Arsenal ring are concerned.

Let me explain. On the two aforementioned dates, the glorious Gunners will face Huddersfield Town. It may have escaped your attention but Huddersfield Town, known as the Terriers, find themselves in the top-flight ahead of next season thanks to a play-off final victory over Reading at Wembley (did you know their previous nickname before the Royals was the Biscuitmen?).

A turgid 0-0 ensued, which included extra-time, and the West Yorkshire tykes came through a tense penalty shoot-out without any nails, but with the spoils for their efforts in the shape of a triumph in a game said to be worth close to around £200million.

Indeed, it has to be said that David Wagner, their manager and former Kraftwerk mascot (1982 tour to Malta), has engineered an amazing elevation in the club’s fortunes (only five years ago they were reduced to being a corner shop in a Rotherham council estate).

The significance of their promotion may not have been met with too much interest by Arsenal supporters, but the arrival of Huddersfield Town in North London in November could well be subject to a celebration of the late, great Herbert Chapman. There is talk in the corridors of power at the Emirates Stadium that the fixture will become known as Herbert Chapman Day, with the usual bumflufferies surrounding such hoo-hars.

Chapman, of course, served both clubs to great effect and chalked up the not inconsiderable achievement of winning the old first division title three years in succession at both Highbury (the home of football that is so sadly missed by those who paid homage to their team at the Old Girl) and Leeds Road (the former home of Town).

I had the pleasure of meeting Chapman many times before his premature death at the age of 55 in 1934 (I am older than you think) and I can only describe him as an absolute gent. The little known fact that he spoke no English never held him back. It is well recorded how innovative he was; and he can be credited with many developments within the game, such was his evolutionary thinking. His ideas included more tactical thinking, the use of a white football, numbered shirts, pretend eyebrows, fidget spinners and smoking during matches.

I am reassured, thankfully, by the great and the good within the boardroom that there is no possibility of the mention of the fact that Chapman played for the then non-league Tottenham Hotspur, from Middlesex, a team for whom he scored 11 goals in their 1905–06 Southern League campaign. Bless them, those little Lillywhites!

Talking of the team “who dare not win the league title since 1961” (hey, they won it 10 years before that, too so don’t bloody mock), I see the Royal Arsenal will be locking horns with them two weeks before the Huddersfield game, at home, and again, at Wembley, in February. The Cocks (see their famous badge) are playing at Wembley because White Hart Lane is being painted, apparently.

As ever I shall be at every single Arsenal match and have already ordered a new e-pipe to calm my nerves during the encounters. Pip pip for now, old beans.

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Greetings one and all, salutations of the day on this fine Wednesday. Alas, the news today is that the little Spanish full-back, Hector Bellerin (he who chooses to wear a headband, known in modern parlance as an Alice band, I am told), could well be on his way back to its homeland and the clutches of La Liga giants Barcelona. These mutterings reach me as I sit here on a hotel balcony in the south of France. I have been in the region espying on our esteemed guardian Arsene Wenger and sometime sidekick Ivan Gazidis as they pursue transfer targets including Monaco striker Kylian Mbappe. I am working on a scoop but the fallout from last night’s tequila has kicked in and I have a hangover worse than Chris Kiwomya’s show reel.

The route for Spanish players switching back to this to their country of origin is a familiar one for Arsenal supporters; a route with which we had to contend when Cesc Fabregas left us for pastures new all those years ago.

The whole Spanish motif sets my brainbox into gear thinking about a forgotten organisation of yesteryear, the now-defunct Arsenal Bullfighting Association. I was lucky enough to be a patron of this set-up back in 1971 when, along with Double-winning manager Bertie Mee, his No.2 Don Howe and physio Fred Street, we helped kick things off for its founder, full-back Bob McNab, with a charity fundraiser – to get the bull rolling, you might say.

Looking back it was a crazy idea because for one, we didn’t have a bull, or bulls; AND we didn’t have any bullrings in London, either. The idea was mooted that we should create one on the pitch, the hallowed turf at Highbury, during the summer months that year. The ground staff at the time were dead set against the idea, and such was their vehemence in opposition that we had to placate them by agreeing to a clandestine strippers’ night in the Marble Halls’ boardroom after a pre-season friendly against Montrose.

And, of course, the other encumbrance we faced was that we didn’t have any matador outfits. But the lacks of bulls proved most irksome of all the barriers we faced. That’s not to say that efforts weren’t made to secure the services of some of these beasts. A chap by the name of Robert Primrose Wilson, better known to the majority of our readers as ex-Arsenal goalkeeper and BBC television pundit Bob Wilson, took it upon himself to pay a visit to Whipsnade zoo in the pursuit of such an animal, or two. Alas, in all the excitement, Bob had forgotten to take into consideration his journey was one which started on a Bank Holiday straight after training. And so it came about that Wilson’s trip came to a halt in a jam on the A4146 some 30 miles from the aforementioned zoo. It wasn’t to be.

But all was not lost for the ABA at that time; for a plan was afoot. Strike partners of that era John Radford and Charlie George, so influential in the glorious 1971 League and FA Cup double-winning side, had previously holidayed in Spain and were familiar, by some strange quirk, with the country’s most historic bullring, in a little mountain-top town called Rhonda. The Plaza de Toros de Ronda benefits from stunning surrounding scenery with an Andalusian backdrop that includes a rather deep gorge.

As this intrepid duo made a flying visit to Rhonda to try to import some bulls, Mee, who intended well but a bit of a stick-in-the-mud blazer type, started to go off the idea. Rapidly.

Radders and Georgie boy were ordered to return to Blighty bull-less and did so in time to play the second-half of a pre-season friendly at non-league Kettering. All these years later and it occurs to me that a quick visit to Edgar Street to see the fine chaps at Hereford United would have done the job…they have one as a mascot, after all. Ho hum, and pip pip, while I am at it.

The post What a lot of bull! Shockingly fictitious story of how the Arsenal bullfighting club almost came about… appeared first on Arsenal Till I Die.

First, allow me to seek your forgiveness for my paucity of contributions over the past few years. One’s better half came into a few quid (from a second cousin removed who pegged it) and took it upon herself to travel the seas of The World (the planet’s biggest cruise ship, bloody thing is simply gargantuan) and I, dutifully, followed.

We are back in Blighty now though, and I have taken up residence at the Ritz, a home-from-home for me over the years and certainly when I am in town to watch the Royal Arsenal. And so it was with great delight that I joined my old chums Sir Chips Keswick, Ken Friar and a heavily disguised Prince Phillip at Wembley to watch the glorious Gunners swat those pesky west Londoners known as Chelsea (do you know they are new-money upstarts? Only founded in 1905, what absolute horrors).

The fantastical and indelible scenes that greeted the players who wore our cannon on the day of our rightful success reminded me of my favourite of our 236 FA Cup final victories (FA stands for ‘For Arsenal’, if you didn’t know); that being the encounter and subsequent triumph over Sheffield United in the year of 1936.

It wasn’t a particularly hard task to overcome the Blades (that is their nickname…how many of you know that it was formerly that of their city rivals, Sheffield Wednesday?) but the win, made entirely possible by my old pal Ted Drake, was met with uproarious glee from the mass of Arsenal followers in Wembley; alas, no United chaps were allowed to come to London for the game by order of the Prime Minister of the day Stanley Baldwin (himself a fully-paid up member of the AFC supporters club, Elite Branch) – it was all something about the Yorkshire tykes having mining to do, steel to forge and whippets to walk.

Flagons of fizz were the order of the day and we sank plenty at the after-party at the Dorchester Hotel, hosted by the great man Herb Chapman, naturally. I proceeded to overindulge on a bloody humongous scale and found myself in a three-way with our full-back Edris Hapgood and a young filly named Constance Perrywinkle, who agreed to join us on the condition that Edris sign his jock-strap for her. What japes!

After some shamefully unsatisfactory rutting with Connie we took to enjoying the opium that Edris had acquired from Cliff Bastin and before I knew it dawn had broken and the morning’s News of the World, proclaiming our victory with the headline, ‘Dashing Drake Lands Cup For Arsenal’, was delivered. Ahh, memories.

But what of the celebrations this time around, I hear you ask. Well, it was all tediously low-key, I have to report, given that the dastardly, hideously-moustachioed American cad, Jimmy Kroenke (he owns Arsenal, apparently) was our host. That said, I did enjoy a head-spinning toke on a sizeable blunt with some chaps calling themselves something along the lines of “Arsenal bredrin innit”, who assured me I was “fam, bruv” – my Latin doesn’t stretch to deciphering this tag, sadly. Anyway, thoroughly pleasant they were, too.

That’s all for now, my friends. Next time I shall bring you up to speed on Monsieur Wenger’s summer signings as well as a lovely anecdote concerning Ivan Stepanovs, a litre of gin and newsreader Moira Stuart. Pip pip, old beans.’

The post The Henry Norris Hour: My shameful FA Cup final nights; opium, spliffs and a randy filly called Constance appeared first on Arsenal Till I Die.

No number of Gunners fans shouting insults and frothing at the mouth on Youtube will make a blind bit of difference. Arsenal and a fourth place finish in the league is like the changing of the seasons, death, taxes and Jose Mourinho blaming somebody who isn’t himself for a poor performance….It is a certainty.

In fact, The Special One himself gave Wenger and Co a much-needed leg up to fourth spot when he announced that he wasn’t really going to bother trying much in the league for the rest of the season. In the footballing version of picking up your ball and going home, Manchester United’s form has been so sub-Jose that Moan-inho just doesn’t want to play anymore, and instead is going to focus his efforts on the Europa League final, a tournament that Jose himself once described as “embarrassing” to compete in.

Even last week, when United came unstuck at the Emirates stadium, JM was positively delighted telling the press that he was “Happy for them. It’s nice”. Hardly the reaction you would expect from a man who has just seen his record-breaking 25-game-unbeaten-run come to an end.

Speaking of United’s unbeaten run…Way back in October last year when they started their invincible performances, they were a whopping 5 points behind Liverpool and sitting in a lowly 6th position. 25 games and ZERO defeats later, they had climbed to an impressive 5th and 5 points behind Liverpool. It truly was the worst unbeaten run in history.

Liverpool are doing their bit to ensure Arsenal get that final Champions League spot too.

This weekend’s Hammering of the Hammers aside, Liverpool’s post-Christmas form has been sketchy. Having occupied one of their strongest positions going into the festive period, Jurgen Klopp’s side managed just one win for the whole of January, whilst also dropping points against the likes of Crystal Palace and Southampton. The latter of which Klopp blamed on the Anfield pitch being “Too dry”…the first time a defeat has been blamed on bad grass since the Jamaican football team.

Good to see Jurgen is finally getting to grips with the Premier League. Not the demands of fixtures or the league’s physicality…the moaning and excuses.

So, with Liverpool and United out of the picture that leaves Arsenal free to claim what is rightfully theirs – Champions League football – and Arsene declaring that he will be staying at the Emirates stadium for ONE MORE SEASON.

Repeat till the end of time. That’s just the way it is and we all need to come to terms with it.

Jim is the sarcastic, cynical voice of On The Left Side, the weekly funny football podcast.

Have a listen here:

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