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Embrace the Tension

2020-06-14T21:05:00-04:00

My heart is broken over the division and turmoil in our country. Starting with COVID and now with the death of George Floyd and the swell of protesting and riots. As I have read the news and seen people posting on social media, it is clear that a chord has been struck and that a long, smoldering anger and weariness has come to the surface from the black community from centuries of injustice and oppression. It is not just the death of George Floyd, but the killing of Ahmaud Arbery, the birdwatcher in Central Park, the dark stain of slavery and centuries of oppression of African Americans in this country.

As a white man in America, particularly living in a predominantly white area, I recognize that I do not see, and certainly don’t experience the inequality and challenges that people of color face. I have always believed every person is of equal value and worth since they are created in the image of God, but I have my own unconscious biases and stereotypes that I have to fight against and work to be aware of. So, for me, it is easy for this struggle to feel distant and for me not to know how to engage. But, I must engage and I must take action because injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. My belief in all of us created equal must be lived out by fighting for equality for all.

One of the great challenges we face is that it feels like in order to participate, in order to engage, it feels like we have to pick sides. People want to be able to label you in one camp or the other. Whether it is along the lines of race, or politics, or policy – you’re either red or blue, black or white, liberal or conservative. The reality is that issues are nuanced, people are complex, and solutions are rarely one-sided. This becomes obvious when we actually sit down and talk with people, or rather, sit down and really listen to one another, not just talk (or shout) at each other.

So, I’ve been trying to listen, really listen. I listened to a friend of mine, who is a person of color, who shared about the fear he feels leaving his house after watching another black man be killed. How he sat his teenage son down and explained to him what to do when he is pulled over by a police officer because of his fear of being profiled. I too will talk to my sons about how to behave and what to do when they are pulled over, but it isn’t because I am afraid for their lives. He lives having to think twice before going for a run or walking through his neighborhood at night.

I have also been talking with a friend of mine who is a cop, who is putting his life on the line to keep us safe and keep the peace. He shared about the distrust and anger he has experienced just because he wears a badge and is trying to do his job. He also told me that over 700 police officers have been injured or killed in the last 2 weeks – I had no idea. The hardest part is that they feel like they are not allowed to talk about it. Not allowed to mourn for their fellow officers or speak out against the violence because then they will be seen as racist.

As I hear these stories, my heart breaks for both and I can’t help but think that they are not in opposition to one another. Both are real people, with real emotions, experiencing real loss and fear. What I believe we need is to be able to hold these things in tension. Not try to resolve the tension, or pick one side or the other, but to really listen and move toward each other. I believe we can simultaneously participate in peaceful protests, and respect and lift up our law enforcement community. I believe we can call for justice reform and break down corrupt systems that have promoted inequality, while also recognizing that the majority of our police force and institutions work tirelessly to protect and serve us.

We have to stop accusing others of guilt by association. Just because someone is participating in a protest advocating for equality and justice where some of the people there are holding hateful or inflammatory signs, that doesn’t mean the others participating in the protest believe those same things. Just because one police officer abuses his or her power doesn’t mean all police officers abuse their power. This does not discount that there are broken and biased systems, groups that are truly espousing hate, or that major reforms are not needed, it just means it is not helpful or right to label every police officer as racist or every protestor as a looter.

We must also stand up for what is right. We must call racism and every form of oppression sin, but we must also not excuse looting, but call it for what it is – stealing and destroying property. We should not stand for the perversion of justice, but call for people in authority to be held accountable. We should not tolerate hatred and harming of our law enforcement, even while calling for change. Our culture does not like the word sin, but sin means something that is wrong, not just because we think it wrong, but because it actually goes against the design of our creator. And the reality is that sin is not just out there, but sin is in each of us. Until we see that we are not better than the bigot, our hands are not cleaner than the looter, until we see that that same penchant for evil lives down in the very root of our heart and that we need redemption just like they do, we will not be able to forgive and find peace.

James 3:17 says “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.” We need so desperately right now to be open to reason and willing to sit down across from each other and listen and learn. James 1:19 says “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” The anger that people are feeling is real and much of that anger is rooted in a sense of justice – people of color desiring equality and respect, and law enforcement desiring to feel appreciated and upholding the law and order they are sworn to protect. But we must turn the flame of our anger from a destructive force to a candle that holds vigil and allows us to see the humanity in one another.

There is still much that I have to learn. I may have hurt some of you unintentionally with my words out of ignorance or misunderstanding. Rather than shouting at each other, would you be willing to correct me in love, would you be willing to challenge me in a spirit of hope? Could we begin to assume the best in others and sit across from each other to really listen? I believe if we are willing to do that, we can actually bridge gaps, we can actually gain compassion, we can actually find a way forward.

Embrace the Tension was originally published by Austin Grigg at austingrigg.com on June 14, 2020.

Servant Leadership

2014-09-08T08:13:00-04:00

Jason Gerdes, our pastor at Revolution, taught this weekend about leadership and proposed one of the best definitions of leadership I have heard:

Leadership is the ability to perceive a vision and then influence, empower, and mobilize others to achieve that vision.

I love this definition because it recognizes that we have to be given a vision, and then our goal as a leader is to help others accomplish that vision. Leadership doesn’t begin with us and it doesn’t end with us. We are called to use our leadership to serve others and help them succeed. We will either lead as a tyrant, weilding our power to coerce others to do what we want them to do, or we will lead as a servant, showing others the way by sacrificing for them.

What kind of leader will you be?

Servant Leadership was originally published by Austin Grigg at austingrigg.com on September 08, 2014.

Small Groups - Leading Yourself

2014-08-17T14:57:00-04:00

I recently wrote about developing some resources for small group leaders to help them lead successful groups. After getting my head around the vision for groups the first guide I decided to write was Leading Yourself. Leadership is an invitation to allow others to imitate your life. So, the question we have to ask ourselves is, is your life worth imitating? Before we can begin to lead others we must be leading ourselves.

Here is an excerpt from the guide Leading Yourself…

The One Thing a Leader Must Do

When I think of great leaders in the Bible, besides Jesus there is no one who stands out more to me than Moses. Moses faced down one of the most powerful men in the world when he called Pharaoh to let God’s people go. He had the faith to pray and ask God to part the Red Sea. And, when God’s people turned their back on Him, Moses interceded on their behalf begging God to take his own life to save the people he was leading.

How did Moses have this kind of faith and courage to lead God’s people up to the promise land? The singular most important thing in his leadership was that he heard from God, and he did that by spending time in the presence of God. Check out what the Bible says about Moses’ encounters with God:

When Moses came down from Mount Sinai, with the two tablets of the testimony in his hand as he came down from the mountain, Moses did not know that the skin of his face shone because he had been talking with God…Whenever Moses went in before the Lord to speak with him, he would remove the veil, until he came out. And when he came out and told the people of Israel what he was commanded, the people of Israel would see the face of Moses, that the skin of Moses’ face was shining. And Moses would put the veil over his face again, until he went in to speak with him.
-Exodus 34:29,34-35

Moses’ face was literally glowing from being in the presence of God. The question then for us is, can people tell we have been in the presence of God? We should be so connected to God, so fully immersed in relationship with Him, that people see something different in us. If we truly enter into the presence of God, we cannot help but be changed. If you want to dive into this story even further, check out 2 Corinthians 3:7-18 to see how Paul tells us that we have an even greater access to God than Moses.

The best thing about the story of Moses’ life is that he was an average guy. Actually, to be honest, he was pretty inept. He murdered an Egyptian, ran away from his own people, and asked God to send someone else when he was called to free God’s people because he had a speech impediment. Not exactly your prime candidate for leadership. But, God does not use perfect people, he takes imperfect people who submit themselves to his will and does great things through them. Moses took the leap of faith, listened to God and ended up being one of the greatest leaders in the history of the world.

Small Groups - Leading Yourself was originally published by Austin Grigg at austingrigg.com on August 17, 2014.

Small Groups

2014-08-03T21:30:00-04:00

Community is such an integral part of a fulfilling life. If our lives were lived out in solitude without close relationships, they would not only be lonely, but they would lack much of the meaning we were created for. I am a better man, a better friend, a better husband, and a better father because of the people in my life. People who encourage me, people who challenge me, people who see the best in me. Even people who I don’t see eye to eye with remind me that I am not at the center of the universe and my life is best lived in the service of others.

One of the biggest ways I’ve experienced community has been from small groups. For the last 10 years I’ve been a part of small groups through different churches that have had a huge impact on my life. They go by different names: cell groups, small groups, house churches, life groups – at the heart of all of them is connecting people to live out their faith in community.

I’m helping in the small groups ministry at my church by leading, training, and encouraging our small group leaders. One of the areas we feel like we can do a better job is in training and equipping our leaders so they can be successful. We don’t just want to ask people to lead groups, we want to walk alongside them and give them the tools they need to be great leaders.

So, I’ve volunteered to write some guides to give leaders direction about what it looks like to lead a successful group. I thought I would share about this process as I write to get some feedback and invite others to contribute to this discussion.

The Beginning

Before I jumped head-first into writing, I wanted to get my head around the purpose for small groups and solidify a vision for what they should look like. I began by asking some simple questions about what successful small groups look like and what traits a leader must be developing to lead one effectively.

As a disclaimer, this is not prescriptive for all small groups, it is simply one exploration for our particular context.

What is a small group?

A small group is a group of 8-12 people who have chosen to live in Christian community as they seek to grow in their walk with God and live out their faith in their neighborhoods, workplaces, and homes.

What is the goal?

The goal of small groups is to provide an environment where people can build deep relationships through honesty and vulnerability that challenges them to grow in their walk with God and live out their faith in the world.

What makes a healthy small group?

It meets consistently
It builds relationships
It goes deep
It transforms lives (through the work of the Holy Spirit)
It overflows
It multiplies

What qualities are needed in a leader?

Leadership, as modeled by Jesus, is serving and guiding others self-sacrificially to help them fulfill the purpose God has given them.

Effective leadership is based upon an invitation to relationship and a challenge to change. A gifted discipler is someone who invites people into a covenantal relationship with him or her, but challenges that person to live into his or her true identity in very direct yet graceful ways. Without both dynamics working together, you will not see people grow into the people God has created them to be. -Building a Discipling Culture

Vibrant relationship with God
Hospitable
Fervent in prayer for his/her group
Facilitate discussion that challenges people to respond
Communicates vision
Prepares the next generation of leaders
Takes his/her responsibility seriously
Prepares for group by prayer and study

I believe the central thing a small group leader needs is a vibrant relationship with God. When a leader is connected to the Father, their passion will overflow into their group and challenge their group to grow deeper with God.

What qualities mark a thriving small group?

Authentic - A place where people are honest. People open themselves up, confess their sins, admit their struggles, receive grace.
Maturing - People should be growing. None of us have arrived, all of us are on a journey of maturing into the people God is calling us to be. We don’t have to be perfect, we just have to be pursuing.
Moving - A people transformed by Jesus should not be standing still. We should be moving together toward bringing about God’s kingdom here on earth. Small groups should be impacting their neighborhoods, workplaces, and homes.

Conclusion

So, what rings true to you? What is missing? What has your experience been? There is much left to explore, but writing this out has helped me get a better picture of what small groups are supposed to be and what is needed to make them successful in helping people grow in their relationship with God and others.

Small Groups was originally published by Austin Grigg at austingrigg.com on August 03, 2014.

All the Time in the World

2014-07-20T23:47:00-04:00

My friend Winn posted a poem on Facebook the other day by John O’Donohue titled A Blessing For One Who is Exhausted. The poem speaks of the weariness and stress of life and offers some wisdom to find the road back to peace and wholeness. There are a number of great lines, but these two have stuck with me and given me pause.

Learn to linger around someone of ease
Who feels they have all the time in the world.

I’ve thought about how restful it is to be around someone who has all the time in the world. Someone who isn’t rushing this way and that, clamoring to get more done, someone who isn’t constantly looking down at the their phone to make sure they haven’t missed a tweet or text message. How refreshing it is to be around someone who is not carried along by the bustle of the world around them, but walks in their own rhythm.

Every couple of weeks I grab coffee with my friend Jeff. We usually pick a spot outside of Starbucks – he says it is a great place for conversations. The first time we met there we talked for about two and a half hours. Jeff is like that, once you get him going he can’t help himself. He wants to hear about your family and about your business and about your ministry. He has his own responsibilities but he always acts like he has no where else to be but where he is.

I want to live like I have all the time in the world. I want to slow down and savor the beautiful things of life. I want to give myself away to what is truly important. I don’t want to be someone vexed in spirit, always busy.

So, as a small step, I’ve decided I’m going to stop saying I’m so busy. I own my own company, I have two small boys, I serve at church – there are always things to get done. But when someone asks me how I’m doing, or how is work going, instead of answering we’re slammed, or it’s crazy right now, I’m going to say it’s going great.

Maybe I’ll think of something better to say, but for now that will suffice. Maybe that will give me a chance to ask how their kids are doing or talk about woodworking. Maybe I’ll be a voice of peace and calm in a world full or noise and stress. And just maybe I’ll start seeing every conversation, every interaction, every moment as a gift.

All the Time in the World was originally published by Austin Grigg at austingrigg.com on July 20, 2014.

Gethsemane

2014-06-14T09:46:00-04:00

As I was reading Mark 14:32-42 this morning, where Jesus prays in the garden of Gethsemane, it struck me that I often think of the passion and sorrow of Jesus, but miss the perspective of God the Father. As I began praying God gave me this picture of him weeping as Jesus prayed for the cup to pass from him. As only a parent can, God the Father looked down and through his tears refused his son’s request because he had a better plan.

It has been a long time since I have written a poem, but this one flowed out in response:

♦ ♦ ♦

Gethsemane

On a lonely hill
under an olive tree
a child cried out.
His father turned his head
to cover his face.
Through tears
the father said no
so he might say yes to us.

Gethsemane was originally published by Austin Grigg at austingrigg.com on June 14, 2014.

Delegate

2014-05-19T09:00:00-04:00

Lately I’ve been thinking about delegation as it relates to leadership. Often we think of delegating as a way to gain efficiency, to get more done. While that is often a byproduct I don’t think it is the primary reason for a leader to delegate. When we delegate, we are lending some of our influence to others in our organization or community. We’re admitting that we are not the most qualified person for every decision and that our success is bigger than our own gifts.

I have a hard time delegating because I have a hard time relinquishing control. I’m very methodical and I like to have things done a certain way. Delegating a task to someone else forces me to let go of my idiosyncrasies and to trust someone else to do a good job. They may not do it the way I would do it, but then again they may do it better. As a leader, my goal is not to create a bunch of replicas of myself. My goal should be to take the strengths and gifts and resources of others to further the vision together. By delegating I allow others to use their strengths to make our organization stronger.

Recently our company has been growing and we’ve hired some contractors to work on a few of the projects we’ve been contracted to do. For the last year, and for much of my career, I’ve been the only person to touch a codebase. For better or worse I’ve written every line of code and know every nook and cranny. I’ve developed my own style and conventions – some of them are based on best practices and help to keep the project maintainable, and some of them are just based on my own quirks. As other people have gotten in these projects and written their own code, in their own style, I’ve had to relinquish control and allow them to do their work in their own way. I still give input and sometimes make suggestions, but I had to make a decision that I was going to let them do their work.

And, you know what happened? They have done great work and I’ve learned a lot in the process. They have done things in ways I would never have thought to do and now I can actually be better at what I do by watching how they work. If I had nitpicked every line of code I would have crushed their motivation and would have wasted the precious time they have saved me micro-managing their every move.

Of course, as a leader, I’m still responsible for the end product and I have to allow others space to fail. By delegating, I’m not pushing off my responsibility, but I’m empowering others to contribute to the success of the organization. Delegating allows my organization not to be limited by my own time and talents, but to be the sum of all of our strengths. A leader who delegates is a leader who is confident in their team and honest about their own limitations.

Delegate was originally published by Austin Grigg at austingrigg.com on May 19, 2014.

Top 5 Woodworking Tools for the Hobbyist

2014-04-07T00:06:00-04:00

One of the things I love to do in my spare time is woodworking. I’m currently working on the top bunk to a set of bunk beds (the bottom bunk was completed over 2 years ago so I hope there is no statute of limitations on bunk beds). Working with my hands gives me time to think and create. I thought I would share a little bit about my shop (aka one half of a two-car garage) and the tools that I use.

You don’t need a lot of tools to get started. Just pick a project and use what you have to make something fun. I’ve picked up different tools as I needed them for a project or gotten them as gifts. When I don’t have the right tool for the job I either borrow it or try to use what I have on hand to make it work. That is part of the fun!

If you’re looking to put together your own shop for little projects or as a hobby, here are my recommendations for the top 5 tools I would pick up. I started out primarily with power tools, but I’ve included two hand tools in this list because I’ve found them invaluable and a lot of fun to use.

1. Table Saw

Ryobi 10in Table Saw with Wheeled Stand

I use my table saw probably more than any other tool I own. You can use it to cut wood to width, create lap joints, make mitered cuts, and tons of other tasks. Getting your stock to the right dimensions is the first thing you have to do before you can bring your project to life. I have a Ryobi portable table saw. It costs about $300 new, but I found one on craigslist for about $150. The important thing is to get one with a strong, flat table and a good fence.

2. Miter Saw

Ryobi 10in Compound Miter Saw

Also known as a chop saw, the miter saw does one thing and does it well. It is great for cutting wood to length and making miter (or compound) cuts. I have a Ryobi that I got for around $75. The big thing to look for is how wide a cut you can make. Mine will cut a 2x6, but there are times when it would be nice to have a little more reach so I could cut 8” boards.

3. Bench Chisels

WoodRiver 6 Piece Bench Chisel Set

I’ve been getting into hand tools more recently and I really enjoy working with them. I find that there are numerous tasks where it is much faster to use a hand tool than to fire up a power tool. These bench chisels are great for all sorts of things from squaring holes, to trimming excess glue, to cutting dovetails. The key to chisels is keeping them sharp and you can do that yourself by picking up a decent water stone and honing guide. I can shave the hair off my arm after these are sharpened (shaving your arm with a chisel is a lot safer than shaving your face).

I recently picked up a 12oz Wood is Good Mallet which is helpful when making mortises or cutting across the grain.

4. Hand Plane

WoodRiver #5 Bench Hand Plane

There is not much manlier than planing down a piece of wood by hand (until the next day when you can barely lift your arms). In all seriousness this can be a workout, but it can also be a big time saver. What do you do if your wood is 1/16 of an inch too thick and you don’t have a powered planer? You can sand it down, but even with an electric sander it takes a l-o-n-g time to sand down 1/16 of an inch. With a hand plane you can take that down pretty quickly.

The hand plane takes some practice and you have to keep it sharp, but I find new uses for it all the time. Need to make a wood plug flush with another surface? Run the hand plane over it a few times to cut it flush. Another thing I use it for is to clean up the edges after cutting stock on the table saw. Sometimes the table saw will leave burn marks or cuts from the blade and I can run the hand plane down the wood to clean it up in a few passes.

5. Workbench

The foundation of any workshop is a workbench. You can buy a nice bench with vices for a couple hundred dollars, but you could literally spend thousands. The important thing is to have a flat surface you can work on at a good height (you want your hands to rest on it comfortably from a standing position).

I built my workbench by making a 2 x 8 foot frame and screwing a sheet of 3/4in plywood to the top. I wanted the ability to fold it down so I could get my car in the garage so I screwed a 2 x 4 into the studs and attached the bench top to the 2 x 4 with industrial hinges. Finally I mounted removable 4 x 4’s to the front of the bench when it is folded out that are held in with bolts. Overall I have been very happy with it. It is solid and I have even improved it by building in a router table with detachable fence and adding a bench vise on one end. If you’re looking for a pre-made workbench that folds down I ran across this one today that looked pretty neat.

6. Clamps [Added Bonus]

Any woodworker worth his salt will tell you can never have too many clamps. There is nothing worse than getting all your wood cut and lined up and not having enough clamps to glue it together. I really like having a couple of quick release clamps on hand and then a longer set of pipe clamps.

The number of tools you can buy is almost limitless, but you can build so many things with just a handful of tools. If you have a question about any of these tools or think there is one I’ve overlooked, leave a comment below or reach out to me on twitter.

Now, go out and build something!

Top 5 Woodworking Tools for the Hobbyist was originally published by Austin Grigg at austingrigg.com on April 07, 2014.

Doubt

2014-03-30T14:40:00-04:00

Photo Credit: Angelina Odemchuk

I’ve often struggled with doubt. Sometimes it settles in over a long period of time like a debilitating fog, but most of of the time it just sits there at the back of my mind, nagging at me. If all the world is in hi-definition color, then doubt is like a color blindness or that strange green glow that creeps in from the corner on old vacuum tube TVs.

Doubt will arrive while I’m driving in the car, or taking a shower, or lying still in bed at night. It will whisper in my ear…

Do you really have what it takes to lead?

Is your life really making a difference?

Can you really hold your family together?

Did you make the right decision?

Is God really there?

Of course, you can tell yourself that those things aren’t true. The tricky thing about doubt is it doesn’t tell you a lie, it just makes you question what you know to be true. It starts pulling on the thread that begins to unravel the neatly knitted sweater we’ve woven together of our decisions and beliefs and hopes; and suddenly, our warm sweater has let in a draft.

Doubt can begin to consume my thoughts and paralyze me from being able to enjoy the present. Doubt never lives in the present, it always draws my attention to something I did the the past or something that I’m worried about in the future. Often if I can make it back to the present then I can finally find some clarity.

I don’t have a silver bullet for doubt, I have not figured it out. I suspect I will wrestle with it for much of my life. When the questions are whirling through my mind and the fog seems thick I often go back to a conversation with my friend Winn almost 10 years ago at a coffee shop in Clemson, SC. He would often tell me that God is big enough to handle my doubt. When doubt presses in, he would remind me of Peter’s words in John 6, “Simon Peter answered him, ‘Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and to know that you are the Holy One of God.’”

Everyone was deserting Jesus – he was not the political hero they were expecting – and Jesus asks his disciples if they want to leave as well. Peter simply asks in reply where else would we go? It isn’t a particularly intellectually satisfying answer, but it rings true to me. Peter had walked with Jesus, left everything for him, seen him heal the blind. Sometimes all we can do is hold fast to our friends and trust in what we have seen and heard and know to be true.

Peter himself would continue to wrestle with doubt. Stepping out of the boat only to begin sinking at the sight of the storm. Staring at a handful of fish and a hungry crowd. Declaring resolute loyalty and swearing he never knew Jesus until hearing the rooster’s incriminating crow. Thankfully, God is big enough for Peter’s doubt and for mine – Jesus didn’t let Peter drown, he pulled him up out of the water and back into the boat.

Doubt was originally published by Austin Grigg at austingrigg.com on March 30, 2014.

Four Qualities of a Leader

2014-03-16T14:20:00-04:00

Most of the outstanding leaders I have worked with are neither tall nor especially handsome; they are often mediocre public speakers; they do not stand out in a crowd; they do not mesmerize an attending audience with their brilliance or eloquence. Rather, what distinguishes them is their clarity and persuasiveness of their ideas, the depth of their commitment, and their openness to continually learning more.
-Peter Senge, The Fifth Discipline

I’ve been reading more about leadership lately and was struck by this quote from Peter Senge. He is striking at the essence of a leader, at what makes him or her different or unique. In his last sentence he lays out four powerful traits that set a leader apart, about what is at the center of leadership.

#1 Clarity

It seems every leadership book talks about clarity, particularly clarity of vision. Clarity is so important I think because it is so rare. So few of us have a clear picture of what it is we’re supposed to be doing, let alone how to do it. It is a really powerful thing when someone is laser-focused on what they are trying to accomplish. If a leader does not have clarity, those who are following will be in a fog.

Clarity is something I really struggle with. I’m a detail oriented person and so I’m great at focusing on the nuts and bolts if I have a clear picture of what I’m trying to achieve. I have a harder time stepping back, taking stock of my situation and finding clarity about how to move forward. The question I’ve been asking lately is, where does the leader find clarity?

#2 Persuasiveness

You can have all the clarity in the world, but if you don’t have a vision worth following, then it isn’t worth much. Leaders have to be able to take their vision and empower others to carry it. The goal of the leader is not simply to accomplish the vision, but to cast the vision in such a way that people pick up the vision and make it their own. They become champions of the vision and are part of bringing it to reality.

#3 Commitment

Nothing great ever happened overnight. It looks like it at times, but most of the time the overnight successes were really preceded by years of hard work. I’m often tempted to believe that my success in life is determined by what I accomplish or what I create. It can be hard to see that washing dishes and doing puzzles with my kids on the floor and cleaning up another cup of spilled milk is making a difference. At work, I can measure success. I can chart revenue and launch products. At home, the results are much harder to pin down. In the end, I believe one of the most valuable things I can do is love my family and raise my sons – I just have to remind myself of the lifetime relationships I’m trying to build. Staying true to that takes commitment.

#4 Teachable

Great leaders continue to get better because they are always learning. Leaders stagnate when they believe that they’ve arrived and no longer have anything to learn. I’ve also learned that the best leaders are the best teachers. They want to help others grow and succeed and so they give away their knowledge, their resources, and their time. They have a posture of open hands, both to give away what they know and learn from others.

Four Qualities of a Leader was originally published by Austin Grigg at austingrigg.com on March 16, 2014.

The Maker's Summit

2014-03-02T20:20:00-05:00

For my birthday this year, Tyler (my incredibly talented and thrifty sister) got me tickets to The Maker’s Summit in Greenville, South Carolina. Greenville is one of my favorite towns. It is nestled up against the South Carolina mountains and has a beautiful downtown, lined with trees and great food and local shops. The air has a crispness that I often wonder comes from the lingering scent of the Blue Ridge mountains rolling across the upstate.

The conference, put on by Indie Craft Parade, was a great event. The venue was a beautiful, renovated mill that was decorated with letter-pressed banners and antique furniture – the perfect place to inspire makers and craftsmen. I couldn’t take my eyes off the old timbers and ironwork lining the structure. There was a great mix of speakers and workshops and some nice down time in between for coffee and conversations. I think the workshops could have been a little more hands-on, but overall there was a ton of great content and opportunity for making connections.

I think my favorite speaker of the day was Jordan Ferney who runs the Oh Happy Day! blog. She talked about reaching her goal of living in Paris for a year and shared some awesome advice along the way. She gave a ton of great tips like getting a 6 month savings account, and asking for things, but the most powerful thing she said was:

Don’t trade what you want most for what you want right now.
-Jordan Ferney

Every day we have the choice to give in to what we want right now (sleeping in, eating out, driving by the gym) instead of moving toward what we want most. Sometimes the problem is we don’t really know what we want most, so I think we have to figure that out first. When we do figure that out she has a great suggestion to put it on our fridge so we will not forget. Then, if what we really want is to launch our own product, we can make the choice to put our head down and code for an hour instead of checking twitter. Or, if what we really want is to run a marathon, we can choose to lace up our shoes instead of eating a bowl of ice cream. Of course we can enjoy the now in the process, but if we never write down our goals and dreams we’ll never reach them.

Jordan kept her list short and sweet (if not audacious), and I think that helped keep her focused. My next goal is to come up with three things that I want to work toward, the top three that will make it on the fridge. So, what do you want most and what will it take for you to get there?

The Maker's Summit was originally published by Austin Grigg at austingrigg.com on March 02, 2014.

At the Heart of Making

2014-02-16T23:51:00-05:00

Photo Credit: Jennifer Trovato

What is it that compels us to create? I can not speak for others, but I craft and shape things, be that code or wood or words, because I can’t help it. There is something pushing and prodding to get out, to be formed and molded until it is alive. At some level I create because it gives me purpose.

We’re all looking for purpose, looking for the reason we exist, and creating helps us feel like we have purpose. We take part in making something that was not there before. Maybe it is because we didn’t exist at one time, that we were created and so we connect with our own genesis in the creative work. Whatever the reason, there is a very real satisfaction and even spiritual connection with the act of making.

Everyone I know has this yearning for making somewhere inside them. It plays itself out in a myriad of ways, but it’s always there, under the surface. My wife loves to bake, and yes we both love good food, but it’s more than that. She loves to produce something tangible, something delightful, something that brings a smile to people’s faces. My friend Winn crafts words, Justin speaks life into people, Ashley illuminates the world through her camera, Brett makes perfect pixels, Trey sings (and brews and writes and teaches), Kyle is a carpenter and photographer in one, and my buddy Matt enjoys cultivating his lawn. Each of us has a longing to leave something here on earth that leaves a part of ourselves.

One of the biggest challenges of being a creative, is knowing the imperfections of our work. I know every rough edge and marred corner of each thing I produce. We strive for beauty, but we know that our work is never perfect. I think the hardest thing about this is that in creating something imperfect we recognize the imperfections in ourselves. We see that our lives are not plumb and that we are not as courageous as we put on and that we have just as many doubts as we do answers.

In making, we have the opportunity to expose ourselves, to leave a piece of our lives for others. That is why it is so fulfilling and so terrifying.

In the end, we make to be known.

At the Heart of Making was originally published by Austin Grigg at austingrigg.com on February 16, 2014.

Meaning in Every Moment

2014-02-09T17:25:00-05:00

I saw this tweet a few weeks ago and it got me thinking.

Life is lived in those moments in between sitting at your desk and couch.
— Tristan O’Tierney (@tristan) January 25, 2014

Many of us spend the bulk of our lives sitting at our desk working (or procrastinating) and sitting on our couches, parked in front of the TV trying to unwind from all the time we spent at our desks. We miss so much of the beauty of life if we don’t pry ourselves away from our jobs and experience the world and the richness of friendships, and food, and culture.

The average American spends 4-5 hours watching TV every day¹. It is so easy to fall into this trap – to sit down and relax, letting the images careen across our faces while we laugh or tense in suspense or mindlessly enjoy. Before we know it we’ve spent the whole evening under the glow of the television and maybe missed time with our spouse, or kids, or friends. Of course, there is nothing wrong with watching TV, but we can let it rob us out of the things we really care the most about.

While we miss much of life never leaving our living rooms and offices, I think we would be remiss to conclude that real life and meaning doesn’t come from our work and our leisure. I would argue that life is not lived in the moments between sitting at our desk and couch, but can be lived through all the moments. What if we saw that all of our life, every moment, could have meaning?

So many of us are working for the weekend, and yet working ourselves to death. If we stopped vilifying or idolizing work we could find that it has a proper place to offer us fulfillment without becoming our identity. We don’t have to be web developer, or an accountant, or a stay at home mom – we could be ourselves who happen to make a living and serve the world through our occupation.

Tim Keller, in his book Every Good Endeavor, makes the case that we are meant for work, that we can find meaning in all work. He helped me see my work as an expression of my gifts and passions and that in its best moments could be used to serve others and build a vibrant culture. I have the opportunity every day to shape the world around me.

Work is not, primarily, a thing one does to live, but the thing one lives to do. It is, or it should be, the full expression of the worker’s faculties… the medium in which he offers himself to God.
-Dorothy Sayers

Going to work, playing softball with our kids, taking out the trash, and reading a good book can all be meaningful. We can find life in the mundane because we are not living simply to get by, but because we are offering ourselves with all of our gifts and talents to make a difference in this world. When we live our lives with that sense of calling, we no longer throw ourselves doggedly into our work or try to escape reality in front of the TV – we can work hard and rest well, taking each moment as a gift.

Average hours spent watching TV taken from this report from The Nielsen Company. ↩

Meaning in Every Moment was originally published by Austin Grigg at austingrigg.com on February 09, 2014.

Leadership is Dangerous | Guest Post on CatalystConference.com

2014-01-24T10:20:00-05:00

We face two great dangers as leaders: thinking we are better than we are and believing we can't really accomplish something great.

I’m grateful for the opportunity to write a piece for Catalyst talking about the dangers we face as leaders and the opportunity we’re each given to believe the impossible and do something great. Jump over to CatalystConference.com to read my article: Leadership is Dangerous.

Leadership is Dangerous | Guest Post on CatalystConference.com was originally published by Austin Grigg at austingrigg.com on January 24, 2014.

Where are the prophets?

2014-01-06T00:00:00-05:00

They had been in the Presence of God and they reported what they saw there. They were prophets, not scribes, for the scribe tells us what he has read, and the prophet tells what he has seen.
-A. W. Tozer “The Pursuit of God”

Last fall I took a backpacking trip with some close friends to hike Jack’s River. The trail winds through the Cohutta Wilderness, nestled in the Northwest corner of Georgia near the Tennessee border. It is a quintessential southern hike, cut through a gorge in the mountains and surrounded by old growth hemlocks. I’ve been wanting to hike this trail for years after hearing story after story from my friend Trey about his adventures there. Did I mention it has 42 river crossings in 16 miles? Plan for adventure (and bring a dry pair of socks).

We parked at the top of the mountain, donned our packs and headed into the wild. After a couple of hours we hit the river and made our way to Jacks River Falls. The upper falls feed into a pool before plummeting 80 feet to the river bed below. We stopped above the falls and set down our packs so we could rest and take in the rays of the sun, warming the cool October air.

It wasn’t long though, and my buddy Matt (firefighter, triathlete, slight adrenaline junky) started making his way to the pool between the falls. He looks back at me and Jeff with a wink in his eye and says, “you coming?” Of course he was headed to a cliff about 25 feet above the pool where he was planning to jump into the freezing cold waters below. So, me and Jeff saunter over and Matt jumps into the pool to swim across and up the bank to the cliff’s edge.

Standing on the bank, the decision was laid before me – was I going to take the plunge, or was I going to watch my friends dive into the icy waters and go back and talk about how crazy they were. Jeff and I looked at each other and the we dove in after Matt. We swam the 15 feet across the pool and came up out of the water, pink as a Thanksgiving ham, my skin burning from the cold. We scrambled up along the falls and then took our perch at the precipice. Last chance to turn around, final opportunity to swim safely back to shore… then Matt leapt off the edge and Jeff and I followed suit. The ice cold water took my breath away, my limbs tingled as I paddled over to the edge, my eyes wide and a huge grin on my face.

That day, I had a chance to do something wild and even a little risky. I was given the choice to step into adventure or to shrink back and watch others live it. I’m so glad I stepped into the story and didn’t watch from the sidelines.

So many of us spend our lives as scribes, sitting on the bench and just regurgitating what other people have said or recounting what other people have done. Tozer was on to something. Our world needs people who have stepped out into the deep water, people who have experienced heartache, and loss, and eruptive joy.

The world needs prophets – men and women who risk their reputation, their comfort, their name, for the sake of others, for the sake of telling a grander story. We need prophets who aren’t crafting pithy lines from their leather library chairs, but who are writing from prison cells, and neighborhood barbecues, and homeless shelters. We need prophets who shake us out of our hamster wheel lives and remind us of the darkness of our own hearts and the bright song that never stops singing, calling us out of that darkness and into a marvelous light.

Where are the prophets? was originally published by Austin Grigg at austingrigg.com on January 06, 2014.

Tuning a Static Site for Performance and SEO

2014-01-03T00:00:00-05:00

I use jekyll, a static site generator¹, to manage this blog. It is a fairly geeky tool, but it has been a lot of fun to learn and it gives me complete control over my content. I ran a test recently using Google’s PageSpeed Insights and saw some areas I could improve my site’s performance.

Now, you may be thinking, Improve performance? It’s a static site, there is no database to slow things down! You’re just serving static html files! That is true, it is already fast, but a lot of the performance issues actually happen on the front-end in the browser, especially on mobile.

I host my site on a Windows virtual server running in Azure, mostly because I already had it setup. Here are some of the challenges I faced and what I did to overcome them and improve performance and SEO.

Creating a Canonical URL

An SEO best practice is to only have your content exist at a single URL. That means you don’t want to have the same article available at two different URLs, like austingrigg.com/blog/2014-goals and www.austingrigg.com/blog/2014-goals. You want to create a canonical URL and redirect the other to it. I chose to go without the www for my canonical URL, just austingrigg.com. It is really just a matter of preference – pick one and stick with it.

So, there are two ways to do that. I could have created a separate site in IIS and added the www.austingrigg.com binding to that site and just had that whole site redirect to austingrigg.com, but I don’t like the idea of having a whole site just for redirecting. That is where the URL Rewrite Module comes in. Install this using the Web Platform Installer and then add the following to your web.config in the root of your site’s folder:

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<configuration>
  <system.webServer>
    <rewrite>
      <rules>
        <rule name="Redirect www" stopProcessing="true">
          <match url=".*" />
          <conditions>
            <add input="{HTTP_HOST}" pattern="^www.austingrigg.com$" />
          </conditions>
          <action type="Redirect" url="http://austingrigg.com/{R:0}" redirectType="Permanent" />
        </rule>
      </rules>
    </rewrite>
  </system.webServer>
</configuration>

Obviously replacing the URL for your blog for mine.

Minifying and Combining CSS and Javascript

One of the most important things you can do for front-end performance is reduce the number of HTTP requests (files you are serving) and making those files as small as possible. One of the ways you can do this is by combining all of your CSS into one file and all of your javascript into one file and minifying² the content so the file size is as small as possible.

Setting up a process for minifying and combining your CSS and javascript is beyond the scope of this post, but you could use a command line tool like Grunt or something like CodeKit to do it for you.

Cache Assets

One of the best things you can do for performance is tell the browser which files are not going to change, so they don’t have to download them again. You do that with cache headers. I wanted to tell the browser that it could cache my CSS, javascript, and images for up to a year. The trick with that is you have to make sure you rename those files if you update them instead of just copying a new version out, otherwise people will not see the changes because they are looking at a cached version.

Give Unique Name

First, I installed the Jekyll Minibundle plugin which will hash³ a file and re-name it using that hash. This ensures that the filename is unique and only changes when the actual content of the file changes.

To use the Minibundle plugin, I reference my CSS stylesheet like this:

<link href="{{ site.url }}/{% ministamp _tmp/main.min.css assets/css/main.min.css %}" rel="stylesheet">

And once the site is built, it outputs this:

<link href="/assets/css/main.min-0e9d23f356784e84f2ff34bd3cac1e30.css" rel="stylesheet">

See the hash in the filename? I do the same thing for my minified and combined javascript file.

Set Cache Control Headers

Now to tell IIS to set the cache control headers so the browser will cache my assets. I added the following web.config file to my assets folder, which contains my css and javascript, and my images folder. This tells IIS to set the cache headers for the files in those folders to expire after 1 year.

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<configuration>
    <system.webServer>
        <staticContent>
            <clientCache cacheControlMode="UseMaxAge" cacheControlMaxAge="365.00:00:00" />
        </staticContent>
    </system.webServer>
</configuration>

404 Pages

If someone navigates to a URL on your site that doesn’t exist, you probably want to display a friendly message saying you couldn’t find the page they were looking for.

So, I created a 404.html page and setup IIS to redirect to it if the URL could not be found. Great, everything seems to be working, except that page is returned with a 200 OK status code instead of the 404 status code that indicates that the page wasn’t found. Why is this a big deal? Because, when Google (or any other search engine) indexes your site, if a page no longer exists you want to let them know. The only way you can do that is to send a 404. If you send a 200 status code Google will assume that was a legitimate page and put it in their index.

So, to fix this I created an aspx (ASP.NET Web Forms page) that returned a 404 status code and the content from my 404.html page as the response body. Below is the web.config setting to redirect to the 404.aspx page and the code to send the status code and return the correct html.

web.config

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<configuration>
  <system.webServer>
    <httpErrors>
        <remove statusCode="404" subStatusCode="-1" />
        <error statusCode="404" prefixLanguageFilePath="" path="/404.aspx" responseMode="ExecuteURL" />
    </httpErrors>
  </system.webServer>
</configuration>

404.aspx

<%@ Page Title="" Language="C#" AutoEventWireup="true" CodeFile="404.aspx.cs" Inherits="_404" %>

404.aspx.cs

using System;
using System.Collections.Generic;
using System.Web;
using System.Web.UI;
using System.Web.UI.WebControls;
using System.Configuration;
using System.IO;

public partial class _404 : System.Web.UI.Page
{
    protected void Page_Load(object sender, EventArgs e)
    {
        Response.TrySkipIisCustomErrors = true;
        Response.Status = "404 Not Found";
        Response.StatusCode = 404;
        Response.WriteFile(Server.MapPath("404.html"));
        Response.End();
    }
}

It is a little convoluted, but it is worth it to provide a good user experience and do the right thing for SEO.

Conclusion

So, hopefully this helped you understand a little bit more about making your static site load faster and following SEO best practices. Feel free to reach out to me on twitter as @austingrigg if you have any questions or any suggestions to make the site better.

A static site generator is just a tool that takes source code, templates, and assets and builds a simple HTML site. The advantage is that you can host your site pretty much anywhere and it is super fast because there is no database, you are just serving HTML pages and static resources. ↩
Minification is the process of removing all unnecessary characters from source code without changing its functionality. ↩
A hash function is any algorithm that maps data of arbitrary length to data of a fixed length. If you hash the same data with the same algorithm you will get the same hash back every time. ↩

Tuning a Static Site for Performance and SEO was originally published by Austin Grigg at austingrigg.com on January 03, 2014.

2014 Goals

2013-12-31T00:00:00-05:00

Goals have a direction in mind. By setting goals we are setting the trajectory for where we want to be and who we want to become.

It seems like almost everyone is setting New Years resolutions, but the sad reality is that few people actually complete them. Maybe some are overambitious, some don’t have a plan to get there, but I think most fail because people spend more time on the what than the why. They are trying to do something instead of be someone.

People make resolutions to hit the gym, or drop a waist size, or start writing on their blog again. Instead, what if we set goals to be a healthy person, or foster our creativity as a writer because it makes us feel alive, or be a more generous person. What we do will ebb and flow through life – the things I wanted to accomplish in college are different now that I have kids. But who we want to be, that can set the trajectory for our whole life.

Getting My Bearing

So, who do I want to become? I’m still unearthing the right words, but here are a few I think heading in the right direction:

Wake up fresh to possibility. Give away my life, talents, and resources for other people. Sacrificially love my wife and kids. Be a true friend. Always error on the side of generosity -- with people, with possessions, and with dashes¹. Be more fully me.

So, with that guiding me, here are some practical ways I hope to live that out this year.

Personal

Write 2 blog posts a month - Words matter. I want my words to make a difference in the world. I also want to be a better writer and that will take practice.
Have date night with my wife every week - It is so easy with kids and work and life to neglect your marriage. Lauren and I decided to make a date night once a week, even if we just sit and have coffee and talk after the kids go to bed. At least once a month we’re going to get out of the house.
Plant a garden - I’ve found since most of my work happens at the computer, working with my hands is very cathartic. Woodworking in the garage, climbing at Foster Falls, or tending my garden all bring me peace and a sense of accomplishment. My garden fell into disrepair last year, so I want to breathe some fresh life into it this year.

Professional

Learn LESS and modular javascript - My front-end code could really use some polishing. I would like to make my CSS more modular, re-useable, and better organized and finally sit down and learn how to actually structure my javascript².
Speak at a conference - This actually came out by accident (I think my subconscious did it when I wasn’t looking). But seriously, I’d like to share some of the knowledge I have and the mistakes I’ve made to help other people get better at what they do.
Release another app - I have really enjoyed working on Prayer Notebook and I’m excited about a couple of ideas Brett and I have brewing over at Kalon.

Spiritual

Read through the Bible - I did this two years ago and it was life-changing. So many themes were connected for me and it brought a real depth to my understanding of the scripture.
Fast once a month - I suck at fasting, but it is so good for my soul. It forces me to say no to myself so I can hear the prompting of God and see the needs of others.
Mentor someone else - Help someone take their next step in faith. Walk beside them. Listen well. Share what I’ve learned so far.

I’ve tried to keep my list fairly short, so I can stay focused on making these goals a reality and allow them to shape me into the man I want to become.

My favorite punctuation. ↩
This looks like a good place to start: How Do You Structure JavaScript? The Module Pattern Edition. Making this note mainly to remind myself. ↩

2014 Goals was originally published by Austin Grigg at austingrigg.com on December 31, 2013.

What Running Taught Me About Life

2013-12-22T00:00:00-05:00

Some things are an acquired taste. I used to hate running, coffee, and Christmas carols, but now I like all three (okay, so maybe I just tolerate Christmas carols).

I’ve never been the most athletic person. I played tennis most of my youth and got pretty decent at it, but you don’t get buff playing tennis, you just get tennis elbow. There were times in PE when I struggled to finish the mile run in time. At some point I was diagnosed with athletically induced asthma, but I think I was just out of shape (not to say it isn’t a real thing, I just don’t know if I had it).

Fast forward a few years, I get to college and start rock climbing, playing racquetball, and playing intramural ultimate frisbee. I loved the controlled moves of climbing, the fast paced game of racquetball (there isn’t a lot of room to run in a 20 x 40 foot box), and the teamwork and skill needed for ultimate frisbee. The problem with ultimate is you have to run. I tended to be a handler (mostly throwing, moving the frisbee up the field), but you still have to run to get into position and you’ve got to be able to keep up with the person you are guarding when you switch to defense. I enjoyed the game so much I overlooked the running and I tried to make up for my lack of speed with my tenacity – just don’t ask me to guard a track star.

The Turning Point

So for the longest time I told people I hated to run unless you stuck a frisbee out in front of me, like a carrot in front of a mule. Then my buddy Matt decided he was going to train for a 10k and that he needed someone to torture with him. Somehow he talked me into it and so we began running a couple of times a week. At first I could barely make it a few miles and we were supposed to run 6.2 for the race! My lungs would burn and my legs would hurt, but Matt would encourage me to press on. After a few months though, I hit a turning point. I could carry on a conversation while we ran, my legs didn’t ache for days, and there was something even calming about going for a run.

By the time the race came around, we were running around 5 miles pretty consistently and I felt good about tackling the 10k. We drove up to Berry College, lined up with a couple hundred other people, and off we went. We looked down at our watches at mile 1 and realized we had sprinted out of the gate. We slowed our pace a little and settled in to a good rhythm. About half way through Matt’s legs cramped and we walked and stretched until we could pick the pace back up, but we stuck together. Rounding the last corner we saw the finish line and Matt said let’s give it all we got and so we took off. Matt sprinted ahead and I forced my jelly legs to push forward and crossed the finish line, exhausted and exhilarated.

Community

What really got me over the hump and into running was community. It was a good friend inviting me into an experience, suffering with me along the way, and celebrating with me as we achieved our goal. Now I actually enjoy running – not always, but most of the time I enjoy getting the exercise and calming my mind. Mostly I enjoy running with other people. Once I got in shape enough to stop sucking wind the whole time, we had great conversation. Much life has happened between the foot falls of friends – talking about marriage, struggles at work, ideas for the future.

I’ll still go out and run on my own, but as often as I can I send out a text to one of my running buddies to see if they can join me because it is always better running with a friend. Our conversations keep my mind occupied and the miles pass faster.

Perseverance

One of the unexpected things I discovered while running is how valuable a challenge can be. When training for any race or practicing for any sport, there is a wall you have to break through to achieve your goal. There are days when I can go out and run 6 miles without much thought and two weeks later I can do the same run and my legs feel like cinderblocks and I have to walk half way through. When I get tired or my legs are burning at mile 11, I have to make a choice to push through. It is a lot easier when you’re running with someone because you know they are suffering there with you.

I was sharing with my friend Justin recently on one of our runs that having to overcome that desire to stop and walk or to push through the pain was creating something deeper than physical stamina (it is as much mental as it is physical), it was creating perseverance. How many times in my life do I have to do something that either I don’t want to do, or is uncomfortable or painful, but I know will produce good results. Running has taught me to push through the discomfort and keep my eyes fixed on the prize, on whatever is on the other side of the pain that is worth it.

What’s Next

Since that first race, I’ve completed two half marathons and my buddy Matt is now trying to rope me into a marathon. I keep whining about it, but eventually I’ll cave because I know it will be worth the pain and on the other side I’ll have found an adventure and a deeper friendship than I would have otherwise known.

What Running Taught Me About Life was originally published by Austin Grigg at austingrigg.com on December 22, 2013.

The Goal of Parenting

2013-12-02T00:00:00-05:00

Photo Credit: Kamal Zharif

Being a parent is the most challenging thing I have ever done. Being a parent is also one of the most important things I have ever done.

I used to think the goal of parenting was perfectly obedient children. Of course, besides being impossible, it is a crushing weight on both the parents and the kids. Before I became a parent, I expected my kids to misbehave and to need to be taught manners and right and wrong, but I thought consistent discipline and loving care would create well-behaved children. But, children are not predictable, they will not be bent to your will – they have their own minds and emotions and desires. They are not good kids in need of a little guidance, they are sinners in need of a new heart.

After banging my head against a wall for a few years I realized (with the help of friends and wise voices in my life) that the goal of parenting is not perfectly behaved children, but fostering a heart in my child that respects others, themselves, and God. Most of the time I think that is done by sacrificially loving them and evoking wonder so they see the beauty and mysteries of this world.

Respecting Others

Our natural inclination is to serve our own interests and kids are a microcosm of this fact. We don’t have to teach our children to say mine, that is their natural disposition. My son Sean is almost 4 and my other son Joshua just turned 2. The thing that makes my blood boil more than anything is when one of them hurts the other. Sean will grab something out of Joshua’s hand or Joshua will knock down a lego tower Sean has just finished erecting. It breaks my heart because instead of fighting for each other they are embittering one another. I want my sons to spend their lives sacrificially loving others. I tell Sean all the time, you’re the big brother, that means you have to look out for Josh. I want so desperately for them to fight for each other, having the other’s back no matter what.

Respecting Themselves

I also want my sons to understand Imago Dei, that they are made in the image of God. If I can show them that God created them with inherit value, for a purpose, then my prayer is that they will see value in themselves. They won’t look for value from their peers or from their work or from their talents, they can be free to pursue a full life, confident that they are loved and valued regardless of their circumstances or broken relationships.

Respecting God

The foundation for respecting others and themselves starts with respecting God. Understanding God as their creator shows them that they are not the center of the universe, but that God is the great joy and glory of creation. As they see God for who he is they will see themselves as loved children and others as fellow brothers and sisters, stumbling through this life. Proverbs says that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and I hope as my boys fear God they will live out the story of their lives as a subplot to God’s great story.

Kindling

There is so much pressure to have well-behaved and well-adjusted kids, but I’m learning that a little ruckus and loving with wild abandon is a lot more effective at nudging my kids in the right direction – and it is a lot more fun too. Matt Chandler says we cannot change our children’s hearts, all we can do is gather kindling around them for God to ignite. So I’m piling anything flammable around them so God might light a spark in their hearts.

The Goal of Parenting was originally published by Austin Grigg at austingrigg.com on December 02, 2013.

We're Part of the Problem

2013-11-16T00:00:00-05:00

I was ranting on twitter the other day about how Walmart is opening at 6:00pm on Thanksgiving day. It seems like every year the stores open earlier and earlier with bigger and more outrageous deals. What about Walmart’s employees? Shouldn’t they be enjoying Thanksgiving with their families?

Walmart is opening at 6pm on Thanksgiving. Can we stop the madness and just have a whole day to eat turkey and spend with family? #fb
— Austin Grigg (@austingrigg) November 14, 2013

Right after I posted that on twitter, Michael Ledford replied reminding me that Walmart is opening early because that is what customers want. Of course they still have a choice, we’re not twisting their arm, but that is exactly what we tell them we want when we line up outside the stores and knock people down to get to the front of the line. Why are we so consumed with consumerism? I wonder if we’re just looking for the right things in the wrong places.

@austingrigg Unfortunately, they are giving their customers what they want. If it wasn’t profitable they wouldn’t do it.
— Michael Ledford (@mledford) November 14, 2013

So, instead of blaming the stores for opening earlier, what if we stopped lining up in mobs and spent Thanksgiving around the table with our families. What if we decided we could use a full day to rest and laugh and eat and be thankful.

I know this post won’t really change anything, but we all still have a choice and I know how easy it is for me to get sucked in right with everyone else to the mad dash, to the promise of deals and savings and shiny new toys. So really this is just a reminder for myself that what I really have to give away this year is myself – my presence, my words, my life.

So, this Thanksgiving I plan to eat enough turkey to knock me into a comatose state on the couch until my boys come flying through the air and we wrestle until bed time.

We're Part of the Problem was originally published by Austin Grigg at austingrigg.com on November 16, 2013.