Artie Lange - Artie Lange Is Dead

Back in business

2010-03-03T23:26:00.000-05:00

Sooo, it's been a really long time since I've written a new post on here, but that doesn't mean that I've stopped listening to the Howard Stern show or that I am no longer a fan of Artie Lange.
In the past 2 years, I moved from NY to Texas and back to NY, bought a house and my wife and I had a baby. As much as I wanted to sit and listen to the Stern show all morning, than write on this site all afternoon, I just didn't have the time. In fact, I still don't really have the time, but with everything that has happened with Artie recently, I know that I have to find some time to post about what is going on with Artie.

I have posted some links from some of the major news outlets regarding Artie's suicide attempt. I'm sure that most of you who are true fans of Artie Lange already read every article about the subject, but in case you missed it, they are here for you to read.

I really miss Artie on the show and it just doesn't sound the same without him, but I don't see how he can ever come back. As much as this thought really bothers me, the man is too unstable and the show was his downfall. Artie just couldn't take the hours of the show, his hectic road schedule, his clinical depression and multiple addictions. If he ever came back, he would be tortured by unsympathetic callers and haters from the Stern Fan Network. The "WAAAAHHH's... I tried to kill myself" would be endless. This would cause the already unstable Artie to fall right back into the same black hole that he has been living in for the past few years.

Although I don't expect to ever hear Artie as a regular member of the Howard Stern Show again, I wish him all the best. I really hope he get's his life together because he really is a truly funny man with a bigger than life personality. Get Well Soon Artie. I miss you and millions of your fans miss you and we're all rooting for you.

If you miss Artie as much as I do, you can read his book Too Fat to Fish, or watch his movie Artie Lange's Beer League or one of his comedy specials Artie Lange - It's the Whiskey Talking and Artie Lange: Jack and Coke.

Despite suicide attempt, Artie Lange's 'Jack and Coke' will air - NYPOST.com

2010-03-01T22:32:00.000-05:00

Despite suicide attempt, Artie Lange's 'Jack and Coke' will air - NYPOST.com

Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times - NYPOST.com

2010-03-01T22:31:00.000-05:00

Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times - NYPOST.com

Artie Lange's chilling words pre-suicide attempt: 'I have so much to live for' - NYPOST.com

2010-03-01T22:30:00.000-05:00

Artie Lange's chilling words pre-suicide attempt: 'I have so much to live for' - NYPOST.com

Video of Artie attacking Teddy

2008-04-23T09:27:00.002-04:00

Now that Artie Lange is back on the Howard Stern show and gave the OK to air the replay as well as the video of the fight between him and his assistant Teddy, we can all finally get a visual of the rage in Artie's eyes.
Below is the video from YouTube of Artie attacking Teddy.

Its a sad day for Artie Lange fans!

2008-04-10T16:22:00.003-04:00

Here are the audio clips of the whole fight from youtube.

Part 1.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIuIPUF7FBM

Part 2.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPUAeUyJa48

Part 3.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-x10PgEpWig

I think its bullshit that they're not re-airing one of the most important shows in recent history!!
To bitch and moan about it, here are some resources:
sternshow@howardstern.com
send faxes directly to the show: (646) 313-2103
Sirius, NY; ask for the show: (212) 730-6411
http://www.sirius.com/customercare

Artie Lange fights with his assistant Teddy

2008-04-10T16:00:00.002-04:00

Below is the audio clip of this mornings fight between Artie Lange and his assistant Teddy.
It's a shame they're not re-airing today's show. With the cast being off tomorrow as well as all of next week because of a vacation, it's going to be a long time before we all know the final outcome of this incident. Listening to the playback, you can hear Artie tearfully give his resignation and also say “I’m not a good person … I gotta leave … I love you”
Is this the end of Artie Lange's career on the Howard Stern Show?

Is Artie gone for good?

2008-04-10T08:29:00.004-04:00

Howard heard that Artie and Teddy were arguing in the halls about money so Howard brought it into the studio to try to get to the root of the problem. Well, things eventually went from bad to worse and Artie wound up attacking Teddy and trying to kill him. This lead Howard telling Artie that he wanted him to leave if he can't control his temper. Artie responded by saying that he can't be trusted, he's out of control and he wants to resign from the show. Artie than left and it became a big discussion in the studio. Howard, Robin and Fred were all bummed out about what happened and everyone agreed with Ralph that Artie shouldn't have left. This lead Benji to go out and look for Artie. Teddy came back in to say that he was bummed and wished that he never came in. He also said that he was still looking forward to going to Amsterdam and hoped that Artie would still go with them. Teddy feels bad for Artie and doesn't want to be the reason that Artie doesn't go to Amsterdam. Howard thinks that it might be better if Artie doesn't go to Amsterdam and best if he and Teddy part ways. The discussion of AJ's incident came up but Teddy stood up for Artie and said that Artie didn't hit him and only threw a cup of water at him. Howard was at a loss for words and didn't know how to resolve this problem and feels that it should be left in upper managements hands. The next topic was that someone should be with Artie right now because everyone is afraid of what Artie might do to himself. After a lengthy discussion, Howard decided to switch topics and go right into interviewing Jason Reitman. Although Howard tried to focus on Jason, the discussion remained about Artie including taking calls from listeners who all had very different opinions.
Poor Artie man. I really feel bad for the guy. He is spiraling out of control. Although I don't want Artie to leave the show, I think this might be the best thing for him right now. Artie needs to focus on himself for a while and get his head right.

Artie Lange on Donnie Deutsch

2008-03-29T09:50:00.001-04:00

In case you missed it, here is Artie Lange's pathetic appearance on the Donnie Deutsch show.

Artie dropped by Lifebeat

2008-03-27T11:49:00.004-04:00

Due to Artie's use of the word fag and his homophobic rants, he has been dropped by Lifebeat. Lifebeat has also decided that the benefits from the Artie Lange cupcake sold at Crumbs Bakery will no longer benefit AIDS/HIV. Artie's self-destructive ways have bit him in the ass once again.

For Artie and all the fans his cupcake, Crumbs will still be selling the Artie Lange cupcake.

Breaking News "Sirius-XM Merger"

2008-03-24T16:18:00.004-04:00

It has just been announced that the U.S. Department of Justice has approved the purchase of XM Satellite Radio by Sirius Satellite Radio.
After almost 13 months, the Justice Department has finally admitted that combining the two satellite radio companies would not harm consumers.
The deal must still be approved by the Federal Communications Commission, which is expected to follow the Justice Department's lead.
Stay tuned to the Howard Stern Show tomorrow for an update by Howard Stern.
This should be a long topic of discussion amongst Howard, Artie Lange, Robin and Fred.
Click here to read the full story.

Hey Retard!

2008-03-24T14:40:00.001-04:00

Howard asked everyone in the studio this morning, "Gun to your head, who would you rather be... Gary the Retard or Eric the Midget?'
Robin and Artie Lange both answered Gary because he's too retarded to know the difference.
Fred answered Eric because the midget at least had some intellect.
And after Howard pondered his decision, he went with Gary the Retard because he couldn't be trapped in Eric the Midget's body.

Miss Howard TV April - Brianna Frost

2008-03-21T11:17:00.005-04:00

Upon introducing Brianna Frost as the new Miss Howard TV for April, in typical Artie Lange fashion, Artie said "that's the hottest chick we've ever had up here." Ralph was on the phone and chimed in that Artie always says that and Artie responded by saying "Fuck you Ralph, get down here." Brianna admitted to Howard that she was half-black but also told Artie she would tell his mother that she was Sicilian. Brianna also admitted to never experiencing an orgasm and this lead Howard to ask if she would try the Sibian. Brianna agreed to ride the Sibian put jumped off before she could finish. Brianna also told Howard that her breasts were real and even allowed Artie to feel them to see if she was telling the truth. Artie confirmed her tits were real and added "they're the nicest tits ever."
Artie, lose some weight. You look like you're about to eat this girl!

Artie consumes 6000 calories before noon

2008-03-19T10:28:00.004-04:00

Artie started to knod out during Robin's news and it immediately turned into an Artie Lange is FAT bit. Ralph even called in to add his two cents. Artie told a story about eating Wendy's yesterday while waiting for his friend, than later on had a meatball parm hero and two slices of pizza. This morning, Artie at 3 Crumbs cupcakes, 4 cans of soda, and a turkey sandwich. Artie thinks that the turkey is what's making him tired. Everyone else thinks its the 6000 calories he's consumed before 10:30am. Gary than wheeled a reclining chair into the studio for Artie to lay down and go to sleep in. At first Artie didn't think it was comfortable, than he agreed it was a great chair. After giving Artie a pillow, headphones and a mic, Robin continued to do the news. Howard Stern gave Artie the go ahead to fall asleep, but Artie said that he's a professional. Artie admitted that he has never been this comfortable at work.
However, within minutes, Artie was passed out and snoring!

Whore Dollar Value

2008-03-12T10:45:00.003-04:00

While talking about how much Elliott Spitzer spent on prostitutes, Richard Christy came into the studio to ask Artie Lange how much he spent on whores in his life. Howard reminded Artie to include the tunnel buddies but Artie said that he only spent $30 bucks at the tunnel. At first Artie said about $100 grand than back tracked and said between $50 and $60 grand. He added that dollar value spanned a period of twenty years. He also admitted that he has spent more than that amount on gambling and drugs.

Artie finished by saying "you can't let a whore live!"

Artie misses big premiere

2008-03-10T10:20:00.010-04:00

Steve Langford announced during a Howard 100 News Brief that Artie missed the premiere of Howard Stern's Private Parts movie back in March of 1997 because he was in rehab. Artie admitted to Steve that his mother called him while at the Honesty House rehab crying that her son couldn't attend his idol's big movie premiere. Steve also gave himself a little plug by telling Howard that he wrote Pat Coopers monologue for his red carpet appearance.
11 years later, Artie is still battling addiction.
"Artie Lange should go to rehab, he says No No No!"

Henry Hill needs help

2008-03-06T15:20:00.004-05:00

Goodfella Henry Hill was in the studio this morning with his girlfriend Lisa to talk about point-shaving, his double hernia, his drinking problem and his artwork. Henry started off the interview by begging Howard for a drink so that he wouldn't get the DT's. Every time Henry started to laugh, he coughed like he was about to die. Artie Lange did his Henry Hill impression a few times which was always funny. When Henry left, the crew talked about his bulging hernia and Howard gagged at the playback of Henry's cough and said that he wanted to quit.

Check out eBay to purchase this picture and others from the Henry Hill 1st Grade Finger-Painting Collection.

Amy Fisher walks out of Howard Stern show

2008-03-06T13:58:00.003-05:00

Amy Fisher who is famous for shooting Mary Jo Buttafuoco in the face was in the studio today to promote her new porno AMY FISHER CAUGHT ON TAPE. Amy was so nervous when she walked into the studio that Howard seemed to be nervous about interviewing her. He seemed to ask her lightweight questions about her past and focused more on the porn, while Fred played sound bites of her husband saying "I love ya pussy." Amy wouldn't tell Howard how much she made on the video as well. Since Amy wouldn't answer any of Howard's questions, Howard decided to take phone calls and the first caller was Mary and Joey Buttafuoco's daughter Jessica. Again, Amy said that she didn't want to take calls either and after Jessica said that she didn't want Amy to shoot her mother in the face, Amy got up and walked out of the studio.
The crew talked about it for a while and Amy's husband called in a little later and the discussion continued. The story even made it onto newsday.com shortly after she walked out.
I personally don't like Amy Fisher because of what she did, and would rather not hear her on the show, but it is entertaining to hear what a train wreck her life has become.

Friendly wagers

2008-03-05T09:41:00.002-05:00

After a caller won $500 playing the Bigfoot game, Howard bet Artie $50 that Bigfoot didn't know the first letter of a word. Artie lost and had to pay Howard the $50. Artie than said he had the fever and wanted to bet Howard $1000 as well as get some blow. Howard agreed that he would bet another $50 and this time Howard was wrong and had to give Artie back his $50. Howard went on to say that he felt bad that he took Artie's money and was glad that he gave back the money.

Artie weighs in

2008-03-03T15:25:00.002-05:00

In a devastating loss to Fred in a game of Win Freds Money, Artie had to step on the scale. After getting only 1 question correct to Fred's 4 correct answers, Artie weighed in at 295. Everyone was very impressed that Artie was under 300, especially Artie, who said "here comes the pussy." Artie went on to say that his agent recommended that he lose some weight before the trip to Iraq.

I don't think he meant 5 pounds!

Is Jason fatter than Artie?

2008-03-03T09:37:00.004-05:00

Robin thinks that Jason Kaplan is fatter than Artie Lange now. She said that he looks like he is wearing a NY Yankees jersey that looks like a tent. Artie said that his jersey looks like the tarp that covers the field for a rain delay. Howard made Jason get on the scale and he weighed in at 279. Before the Battle of the Blobs, Jason weighed 282, and felt good that he still has 3 pounds to go before he has gained all his weight back. Jason told Howard that he plans to cancel his gym membership because he needs to save the $100 a month for his wedding. Artie brought up their trip to Amsterdam and said that they were going to be eating a lot while on their vacation. Artie said that they were going to get the munchies from being so high and also said that he plans on taking all the guys out for a huge dinner while they're there.

I really think Artie is going to die in Amsterdam.
The question is, will he O.D. on food or heroin?

Artie Lange in Page Six

2008-02-29T13:46:00.004-05:00

NY Post's PageSix.com always seems to be a day late and a dollar short with their Artie Lange related stories. Artie mentioned on the air the other day that he was approved to go overseas to entertain the troops. Steve Langford and the Howard 100 News have also covered this story. So why does pagesix.com feel the need to run this story a week late?

Probably so they can put this great picture of Artie next to the article.

Randi Wright in studio

2008-02-28T09:17:00.006-05:00

Pornstar Randi Wright is in the studio today talking about her screwed up childhood, being an alcoholic, her career in porn and guys who have paid her for sex.
Randi got on the tickle chair and was tickled by Artie and Gary. Randi turned on Artie so much that he offered her 15 grand to fuck him, which she accepted. We'll see if she goes through with it.

Check out Randi's site at www.allrandiwright.com.

Artie Lange's Last Hoorah

2008-02-28T08:40:00.004-05:00

Artie is back today and he was telling Howard about Grandma Caprio's funeral. Artie told Howard that Dana was at the funeral and there is something still between them. In typical Artie fashion, he said that he's done and wouldn't explain what he meant. He also said that after he goes to Irag, he's done. Entertaining the troops will be his last hoorah.
Howard really annoyed me this morning because instead of asking Artie what he meant by these comments, he asked stupid questions about Dana and what she was wearing.
What does Artie mean when he says he's done?
Is he done with the show, is he done with Dana, is he done with stand-up, is he done with life?
Howard is supposed to be the best interviewer of all time, but he really dropped the ball when it came to asking Artie these important questions.

King Norris on Fuse (2-26-08)

2008-02-27T12:35:00.002-05:00

Since Artie is out due to Grandma Caprio's funeral, I figured I would post Fred's appearances on Fuse. In case you missed it, here are both of King Norris' performances.