The Artist v. Scientist Podcast

Episode 36 : 35th Anniversary Show - Part 2

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 23:12:00 +0000

The Artist v. Scientist Pidcast Show concludes its 35th Anniversary celebration. Every fifth person who shows up to the auditorium with a gun gets a free gun! (10:00)

WARNING: This episode contains gun violence. Some listeners may be disturbed. Other listeners may be into that sort of thing, sicko.

The Reason for the Season

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 18:02:00 +0000

In case you've been wondering, no I did not punch that gorilla in the face. Also, we've been very busy (read: I've been busy, me), which is another reason why we haven't released any episodes lately. As soon as things calm down we should be back up and running (from gorillas!); stay tuned for part 2 of our 35th (36th) anniversary special! In the mean time enjoy this:

Episode 35 : 35th Anniversary Show - Part 1

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 11:09:00 +0000

The Artist v. Scientist Podcast celebrate their 35th anniversary with a clip show in front of a live studio audience. A look back at such classics as our very first episode, the beloved 'Show Clock' and more. So everybody stomp your feet for the Show Clock and let the show begin! (07:04)

Episode 34 : Iron Baby Podcast (Bottom Of The Hour)

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 13:16:00 +0000

The boys from the Iron Baby Podcast return from break to continue their interview of Dr. Horatio Throckmorton, author of the new book, "The New New Frontier: Modern American Babies; Healthy." Brought to you by BABY BRAWLS XIII. If you like the shitty sound of your AM radios then listen to the episode here. (21:32)

Episode 33 : Iron Baby Podcast (Top Of The Hour)

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 20:06:00 +0000

The boys from the Iron Baby Podcast talk to Dr. Horatio Throckmorton, author of the new book "The New New Frontier: Modern American Babies; Healthy." This episode is dedicated to Brother and Sister-In-Law. For those of you who enjoy the shitty sound of your AM radios listen here. (20:58)

The Iron Baby Podcast Promo

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 09:42:00 +0000

Due to real life still no show this week. All we have is another teaser; it's a "promo" for the subject of the next episode entitled "The Iron Baby Podcast!" There! Now you know the title of the episode we haven't been able to record. I gave you something. Now quit standing around or I'll continue to tease you! The delay should not imply any higher expectations on your part. Stay tuned! (01:36)

The Kids Are Will Be Back

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 22:24:00 +0000

No show this week but here's a teaser for the next episode. Thanks for listening and tell your friends the kids are 'will be back' soon! (03:17)

Episode 32 : Blain Mattel

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 10:00:00 +0000

After his ordeal the scientist calls the wacky German doctor to ask for help fixing a little problem leciting a celtain lettel. What's he gotten himself into this time!? (14:13)

Episode 31 : Artist v.

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 00:05:00 +0000

The Artist goes on a quest! New friends will be made, old friends will be remembered and adventure waits at each turn. The journey begins here. Will you answer the Call of Duty MW2? (23:34)

Episode 30 : Sensory Deprivation - Update 6

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 01:08:00 +0000

I liked it better when I didn't have to do any of this; just talk on the phone and drive a car. Yes... the Scientist is in a tank. (4:28)

Episode 29 : Sensory Deprivation - Update 5

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 00:31:00 +0000

The Scientist is still senseless in the sensory deprivation chamber. Is anyone watching the clock? (2:17)

Episode 28 : Sensory Deprivation - Update 4

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 22:45:00 +0000

When's it my turn? Scientist is still in the soup. (4:38)

Episode 27 : Sensory Deprivation - Update 3

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 20:12:00 +0000

Now that my tyrannical podcasting overlord is out of the picture, let me tell you about the horrific conditions in which I am forced to perform. I get no food or body breaks. He makes me watch Fall Guy reruns on a loop. Please contact the authorities! (2:59)

Episode 26 : Sensory Deprivation - Update 2

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 17:15:00 +0000

Hey, Scientist is in some water and I'm in another state. Here's update number two. (7:19)

Episode 25 : Sensory Deprivation - Update 1

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 15:19:00 +0000

So... we have Scientist in a tank - in total isolation. Finally I have the helm of the broadcast all to myself. I will be posting updates on Scientist's condition throughout the day. Be advised. (10:52)

Episode 24 : Paratus Et Potens

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 07:11:00 +0000

Stop what you are doing immediately! Before you waste anymore semen you must listen to this episode. (23:58)

Plus, stay tuned for live audio updates from the Sensory Deprivation Chamber this Friday!

Episode 23 : Lord of the Synthe

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 09:15:00 +0000

The first episode of a new year. Look at you! Vacation has made you soft and flabby. You get what you pay for. (12:04)

Episode 22 : The Patriot Act in One Act

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 09:15:00 +0000

In commemoration of the looming renewal of the full Patriot Act the Artist v. Scientist Podcast proudly present The Patriot Act in One Act. What do big brothers do? They try to embarrass you in front of your friends. (17:36)

Episode 21 : Turtle Neck Threater

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 13:15:00 +0000

This episode was inspired by real events but the characters depicted are (obviously) fictitious; any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental and/or laziness. For your listening pleasure we now present Turtle Neck Threater [sic]. Quickly, before the lawyers descend, click it! (24:47)

The Artist v. Scientist Podcast - Trivializing Bomb Threats Since 2009.

President or Jihad?

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 11:00:00 +0000

President or Jihad? Mr. Phil Wolf would like to know at 1-720-898-9019. We gave him a call and answered his question. Easy! Give him a call too! Check out the visual representation below or you can download the video directly here. (1:21)

Episode 20 : You're In Trouble

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 13:15:00 +0000

You're in trouble folks! The artist shares a story from his past in one of his most intimate fireside chats. But don't sit too close to the fire ladies and gentlemen or the pee will evaporate. (19:31)

Episode 19 : Quality Control = Empty Set

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 10:00:00 +0000

AVSstring cmd = "SEARCH=(COND=(Quality AND Episode));" +
"OPTION=(SEARCH_INDEX=(AVSPODCAST); MAX_RESULTS=1 ;
{System.out.println("This is a quality episode")})";

QueryResults{
fatal error try again !
} (14:23)

Episode 18 : This Is Your Life

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 12:35:00 +0000

Put on your mystery voice folks! This is This Is Your Life! Special thanks to Archivist. (29:19)

Episode 17 : No Why Sky Is Blue

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 09:30:00 +0000

Have you ever wondered why the sky is blue? Well, screw you! (12:30)

Episode 16 : NSFP II

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 10:47:00 +0000

The shattering conclusion of the Artist v. Scientist brother set parent trap. Real life podcast drama, ladies and germs? And it's free? (19:56)

Episode 15 : NSFP I

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 13:32:00 +0000

Your mother has such good hearing that she listens to the Artist v. Scientist Podcast. Real life podcast drama, ladies and germs? And it's free? (14:25)

Audio Instructional Series : Part 1 - Guitar

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 23:00:00 +0000

If you don't want to learn how to rock and roll on guitar then don't bother listening to part one of the ongoing Audio Instructional Series - Guitar. Get your axe ready! Disclaimer: Don't bother getting your axe ready! (6:47)

Episode 14 : Halloween Special

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 04:17:00 +0000

In advance of the Halloween festivities we present to you this scaretastical episode of the Artist v. Scientist Podcast so that you might get you into the holiday... spirits? Happy Halloween to all and to all a good night. Or should I say... good fright? What's that? You just want it to be good night? Okay, sorry. (7:00)

Episode 13 : The Public Option

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 08:00:00 +0000

In this episode the artist and scientist debate the merits of the public option (sort of). Plus, a touching story about the clap; why does one thing always lead to another? (21:28)

Episode 12 : I Have A Big Penis

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 00:18:00 +0000

On the eve of the death of Captain Lou Albano the scientist finds the courage to admit he has a big penis; the artist would rather not hear about it. But you can hear all about it in episode twelve of the Artist v. Scientist podcast. (21:50)

Episode 11 : Nano

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 12:27:00 +0000

In this eleventh episode spectacular the scientist learns another valuable life lesson, a horribly valuable lesson. It's sure to be a collectible episode featuring the first appearance of Nano. Trade with your friends! (11:54)

Episode 10 : Schwinn(g)

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 09:11:00 +0000

The artist and scientist talk to a real live woman as she dares to reveal the sordid details surrounding the seedy underbelly of organized "bike clubs." What's on the table and what's off the table as far as female masturbation is concerned? Will the bike seat make the cut? What about the table? Stay tuned to the most orgasmic episode of the Artist v. Scientist podcast to date. (22:01)

The Lizard People Tapes : Part 5 (of 5)

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 11:06:00 +0000

The last installment is finally here! Ultimately just like so many other tales it's a love story; we're talking about part 5 (of 5) of the Lizard People Tapes. (09:32)

Episode 9 : I Quit!

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 09:00:00 +0000

In this episode the scientist calls it quits. Plus, some girl talk; are women trying to hide their alleged perversion towards some potentially illicit activity? (28:09)

The Lizard People Tapes : Part 4 (of 5)

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 08:44:00 +0000

A "courageous" caller blows the lid off the whole damn thing; I mean, look, it's part 4 (of 5) of the Lizard People Tapes. Reptilians? Illuminati? Freemasons? New World Order? Why all these distractions? (10:14)

Episode 8 : Young At Heart

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 12:31:00 +0000

The gang learns an important life lesson. Jimmy Durante guest stars on a very special episode of Artist v. Scientist. (06:15)

The Lizard People Tapes : Part 3 (of 5)

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 09:55:00 +0000

A "courageous" caller blows the lid off the whole damn thing; here's the thing, it's part 3 (of 5) of the Lizard People Tapes. Home is where you, you know..., end up... when... the spaghetti's done. (08:52)

Episode 7 : The State Inspection Ate My Baby

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 03:33:00 +0000

In episode 7 the artist and scientist talk to the auto mechanic in order to reveal the results of the state's vehicle inspection. It's pass or fail and even lady liberty herself might not be left standing once the dust settles. That or the scientist will just pay for the repairs. Plus, it's national "fuck work and go ride a go-kart" day. (22:26)

Go check out the band Nag Champayons at www.nagchampayons.com, please. The site's just been launched so give them some time to put up some music will ya?

Episode 7 Prologue : Prelude to an Inspection

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 02:12:00 +0000

We now take you to the auto shop waiting room where the scientist is reporting live. Scientist, why are the local residents so concerned about the prologue to episode 7? (06:18)

The Lizard People Tapes : Part 2 (of 5)

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 15:11:00 +0000

A "courageous" caller blows the lid off the whole damn thing; you know, it's part 2 (of 5) of the Lizard People Tapes. The views expressed by the lizard people person are definitely not those of the artist nor the scientist. (08:25)

Here's what some people are saying about the "Lizard People Tapes":

"dont listen to teh lizard people tapes."
- zarallax69

"FAIL!"
-PAsTmpRster

"First let me tell you, I have absolutely no sense of self importance and it's safe to say I hate myself. I do not think that my time is at all precious or valuable. In fact I spend most of my time watching internet videos of cats playing an assortment of musical instruments. And yet I cannot express how much I greatly regret losing the several minutes that I will never get back after listening to the Lizard People Tapes-Part 1. If there is a hell may you burn in it for eternity. If there is no hell may you spend the rest of your days on this earth literally on fire."
-kittylovermeow33317

Episode 6 : Emendator Ex Machina

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 13:45:00 +0000

It's episode 6 of the Artist v. Scientist podcast. (20:11)

Episode 5 : A Rolling Vibrator

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 20:45:00 +0000

It's the difficult fifth episode featuring the tale of the rolling vibrator, another call to all the Canadians, skankle, the electric butt plug with travel adapter, and more. (27:34)

Who is the lizard people person?

The Lizard People Tapes : Part 1 (of 5)

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 07:33:00 +0000

A "courageous" caller blows the lid off the whole damn thing; listen it's part 1 (of 5) of the Lizard People Tapes. (09:47)

Episode 4 : God, Guns and Glory and Science - Part 2

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 20:45:00 +0000

We'd like to dedicate the second part of this fourth episode to you. (11:09)

Episode 4 : God, Guns and Glory and Science - Part 1

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 20:05:00 +0000

We'd like to dedicate the first part of this fourth episode to god. (37:14)

Call to 1-877-JAIL-FON

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 22:00:00 +0000

Bonus material? Yes. The scientist calls his loved ones to wish them a happy birthday. Warning: birthdays aren't for everyone and the sound quality is not that great from jail. (03:30)

Update (9-03-09): The sound quality has been improved.

Episode 3 : The Canadian Listener

artistvscientist@gmail.com (Scientist) — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 03:41:00 +0000

Episode 3 is here. The artist and scientist issue a request to their first Canadian listener. And... NEWS! (30:32)