Artworks4women

2007-08-24T10:11:00.000-07:00

River Walk is a project that Women-Eye is doing with women artist to sale their art work in Chicago on the River downtown every weekend. We are also looking for women artist to be apart of the gallery as well. Women-Eye Arts and Crafts Incubator Program: This will be an incubator program for women entrepreneurs who specialize in homemade arts and crafts. By providing a space to work, professional office support, and peer networking, Women-Eye Inc. hopes to help these women launch successful businesses. Future plans for a retail outlet will help encourage sales and increase profits. Women-Eye is a;all about girl power giving women and girls the tools to empower themselves working to help women and girls all over the world. Women-Eye need great women like you to be apart of this mission. Rosemary Reeves, SOSM Women-Eye Inc. 312 280-9651 650 North Dearborn #300 Chicago, IL.. 60610 www.womeneye.org

2007-08-24T08:56:00.000-07:00

I paint self-portraits because I am so often alone, because I am the person I know best.

-Kahlo

Self-portraiture began during the Renaissance, it was the first time artist were regarded as more than craftsmen, their personalities became of interest and they painted from the heart more than by rote or command. But that was only reality for men, women artists seemingly did not exist, save as bodies, exalted goddesses objectified, Madonna or whorrzed.

Diana Scultori Ghisi (1547-1612) (Diana Mantuana or Diana Mantovana) an engraver
of Mantura and Rome, was unique among women of the time in being permitted to
put her name on her plates. (that's her in pic, self-portrait)

Women have just in the last 400 years or so been recognized, named, acknowledged beyond being subjects of paintings. This development in art is a reflection of women's emergence from the shadows in all of life. Women are now on the stage, men no longer portray them unless it's a drag show, an entire medical speciality is dedicated to them, gynecology/obstetrics, fashion is made to accentuate the female form- yet, women are still not in control. Medications are now marketed to eliminate menstruation to make us sexually available all the time, clothes to expose our form to satisfy even men we do not know and "stages" provide men an opportunity to see and do what by law they cannot: rape and murder.

But where are the great female contemporary artists of today, of note? They live and breathe, but are overshadowed by their sisters who sell themselves as [sic] pornified art. Performance artists who drizzle themselves with mud and "models" who lay defeated in any pose. While men were able to navigate the cult-of-personality culture the Renaissance bred,women had to become a stereotype, worse an object. Female artists became the mirror, emerged as whatever society wanted to see.

2007-08-23T15:13:00.000-07:00

celosia (se-lo´zhe, -zhê-e) noun See cockscomb.
[New Latin Cêlosia, genus name, from Greek kêlos, dry, burnt (from its color), from kaiein, to burn.]
cockscomb
cockscomb (kòks´kom´) noun 1. The comb of a rooster. 2. The cap of a jester, decorated to resemble the comb of a rooster. 3. An annual plant (Celosia cristata) widely cultivated for its showy, fan-shaped or plumelike clusters of red or yellow flowers. Also called celosia. 4. Obsolete. Variant of coxcomb.

I saw these flowers at a farmer's market today. First time I ever saw them, I think. An "aerial view" of them makes one think of a brain. I tried to find a picture that captured their "braininess" I couldn't. And the the flower I bought today for $2 is fuscha colored and it's leaves make me think of silk flower's- they are just too perfect.

As I type, I gaze at this temporary installation of Mother Nature's art on my desk and wonder about art and how it is captured. Painting are inspired by architecture, bone structure or light for example and what results is derivative and mixed. Even my words cannot do this flower justice.

Today was the first time all summer I walked around during lunch and I chatted happily with the merchants. I bought Amish butter, garlic cheese spread that spilled in the bag. I indulged myself and thought of my husband. This flower was new to me, those other seemingly mundane activities forgotten for so long.

Yet, yet the flower alone on my desk does not tell all nor this entry. As that say art is an art not a science. : )

a ball, life is a ball of knotted yarn

2007-08-21T14:39:00.000-07:00

I am participating albeit in a stunted, undone manner. My piece will never rest with others, not will it give testament to the loss of a wonder of the world. No, I am on the sidelines again.

I often join clubs, make resolutions and plan only to be foiled. And I knew when my co-worker came up with this project,I'd flounder. I am just learning and trying to fit in crocheting with the rest of my "projects" and dramas.

My life is generally in knots, comparable to a ball of string after my three-year-old gets to it, so perhaps that's what's tripping me up.I cannot imagine crocheting flawlessly when I trip through life rather than traipse.

The Institute For Figuring is crocheting a coral reef: a woolly celebration of the intersection of higher geometry and feminine handicraft, and a testimony to the disappearing wonders of the marine world.

Making Hyperbolic Crochet with Margaret Wertheim 7/14/2007

It's geometry! It's knitting. It's—hyperbolic crochet! For a century, mathematicians wondered how to represent a hyperbolic plane, described as a “surface in which the space curves away from itself at every point.” Sea anemones, ruffled lettuce leaves, and cancer cells exemplify hyperbolic shapes, where surface area is maximized and volume is minimized. Beginning with a simple crochet chain, learn how to create a geometric shape with a constant negative curvature just by adding stitches!Margaret Wertheim is a science writer, artist, and founder of The Institute for Figuring (IFF) located in Los Angeles. IFF is devoted to the public understanding of the poetic and esthetic dimensions of science, mathematics, and the technical arts.

http://events.exploratorium.edu/ramgen/make/make_magazine-070714.rm

2007-08-08T09:13:00.000-07:00

Dread not infanticide; the crime is imaginary: we are always mistress of what we carry in our womb, and we do no more harm in destroying this kind of matter than in evacuating another, by medicines, when we feel the need.
Marquis De Sade

I just watched the trailer for Bella the movie -I saw it last night. I cried copious tears at points during the movie, I do not cry easily actually. My daughter asked: "what's wrong mommy?" The scenes weren't particularly moving at times, yet I weeped.

I hardly slept and planned on writing on the movie. I had so many thoughts after I watched it, reminded me of when I saw Schindler's List and felt such shame I let murder go on around me like German shopkeepers. I related to this film on so many levels, abortion has touched my life over and over, almost as if the sin of it is trying to kill me.

The movie was fiction I thought, but I learned today while watching the trailer it is based on a true story. What isn't? When I read that I felt jealous, a true story of abortion with a happy ending. When it comes to abortion, few stories have happy endings. Just endings. I was crying over those, over all the people I lost.

I lost two children I would have readily adopted. I lost friends, one in particular. And worst of all, all the lives lost, even amongst the living.

Bella almost seemed like make-believe to me. Real life doesn't turn out this way, but sometimes it does. I know one couple that became a family through the strength and generosity of a woman not so different from the woman in this movie.They both ironically were hostesses and not so ironically used by men.

As we drove home my daughter, from the backseat, gave her commentary of the film. She said she liked how they showed the woman changing her mind from thinking having a child would destroy her to realizing the child saved her. Then she said, something else to me. And I realized having children has saved me too.

art as balm

2007-08-03T10:41:00.000-07:00

“You can't put a Band-Aid on every boo-boo you've made; some just need time to heal...”

It sucks, but it's true what doesn't kill you.....fill-in-the-blank. I wish I could just grow up not out and around,upside down and backwards. I am like some tree with a disease and knots or a vine caught in a fence, parts half-dead, other parts rotting below me feeding me.

Yes, it's our roots that feed us, meaning our past. We are all old souls. God has known us always. Our roots pick up what is around us, what we have left behind or ground or grounded ourselves in. It's our choice,we can take our experience and sink or produce new leaves, new pages, new lives/lines.

Right now I am trying to turn the shit around me into fertilizer. Make myself anew. And while it hurts to think about my past, really what I have done, it is helpful to not just delete but rewind a little, ponder and reformulate.

A new poem is on it's way- two in fact. I am very please and looking to my past, I see I have a future filled with old structure and new paint.

New poem title: store bought incarnate...coming soon

New Cool Product..I love "the worm." Baby onesie!

articles on art therapy

2007-08-03T10:34:00.000-07:00

1: Occup Ther Int. 2007;14(1):42-56.
The use of craft activities as an occupational therapy treatment modality in
Norway during 1952-1960.
Horghagen S, Josephsson S, Alsaker S.
SÃ¸r-TrÃ¸ndelag University College, Trondheim, Norway. sissel.horghagen@hist.no
The purpose of the present study was to explore the use of craft activities as
occupational therapy treatment modalities in Norway during the period 1952-1960.
Data were obtained through in-depth interviews with six retired occupational
therapists on their experiences in using crafts. Data were analysed through
textual analysis and this resulted in four themes: craft activities identified as
a therapeutic tool; ambivalence in how to frame the intervention; practice
relative to power relationships; and occupational therapists and patients as
equals. A limitation of the present study was that participants drew on their
screened memories in the context of contemporary practice, which may omit or
distort the historical truth. Further research is needed to document the effect
of contemporary therapeutic use of craft activities, and to bring forward how
occupational therapists and clients value the craft activities of today in the
context of their lives.
Publication Types:
Research Support, Non-U.S. Gov't
PMID: 17623378 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]

2: Oncol Nurs Forum. 2007 Jan;34(1):38.
A pilot study to test the effects of art-making classes for family caregivers of
patients with cancer.
Walsh SM, Radcliffe RS, Castillo LC, Kumar AM, Broschard DM.
School of Nursing, Barry University, Miami Shores, FL, USA. swalsh@mail.barry.edu
PURPOSE/OBJECTIVES: To test the effects of an art-making class (AMC) on reducing
anxiety and stress among family caregivers of patients with cancer. DESIGN: A
pretest and post-test quasi-experimental design. SETTING: A residential care
facility near tertiary treatment centers in the southeastern United States.
SAMPLE: The convenience sample of 69 family caregivers was aged 18-81 years (X =
48 years) and predominantly Catholic. Most had at least a high school education.
Two-thirds were daughters, wives, or mothers of patients with cancer. METHODS:
Participants completed a demographic data survey and a Beck Anxiety Inventory
(BAI). Researchers collected a saliva sample from each participant to measure
salivary cortisol, which indicates stress levels. Following pretesting, a
two-hour AMC was delivered. Post-tests included a repeat BAI and a second saliva
sample. MAIN RESEARCH VARIABLES: Anxiety and stress. FINDINGS: Anxiety was
significantly reduced after AMC. Stress was reduced. CONCLUSIONS: The AMC
appeared to reduce anxiety and stress. The addition of a control group and
replication with larger numbers are suggested. The physiologic cortisol measure
corroborated BAI findings but was difficult to obtain from some cultural groups
and was expensive to analyze. IMPLICATIONS FOR NURSING: Family caregivers may
benefit from participation in art-making interventions. Nurses should continue to
investigate the use of creative approaches to promote holistic care.
Publication Types:
Clinical Trial
Research Support, Non-U.S. Gov't
PMID: 17562630 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]

3: Int J Palliat Nurs. 2007 Apr;13(4):184-9.
Complementary and psychological therapies in a rural hospital setting.
Jones G.
Bronglais Hospital, Aberystwyth, UK. gudrun.jones@ceredigion-tr.wales.nhs.uk
The National Institute for Clinical Excellence (NICE) (2004) in the UK has led
the way in recognising the need for a holistic approach to the support and care
of people with cancer, with the publication of Guidance on Cancer Services:
Improving Supportive and Palliative Care for Adults with Cancer. This article
describes a three-year project, funded by the Big Lottery Fund through Macmillan
Cancer Support. The project is being implemented by an art therapist, clinical
psychologist, complementary therapist and administrator together with the
existing team of three Macmillan nurses, an art therapist and two Macmillan
occupational therapists. The project aims to provide a service to patients,
carers and to the health professionals who work with people with cancer and their
families. The service is located in a rural and Welsh-speaking area; as such,
accessibility of the service and language choice play an important role in the
delivery of support and treatments.
Publication Types:
Review
PMID: 17551422 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]

4: BMC Psychiatry. 2006 Dec 156:57.
Anthroposophic therapy for chronic depression: a four-year prospective cohort
study.
Hamre HJ, Witt CM, Glockmann A, Ziegler R, Willich SN, Kiene H.
Institute for Applied Epistemology and Medical Methodology, BÃ¶cklerstr, 5, 79110
Freiburg, Germany. harald.hamre@ifaemm.de
BACKGROUND: Depressive disorders are common, cause considerable disability, and
do not always respond to standard therapy (psychotherapy, antidepressants).
Anthroposophic treatment for depression differs from ordinary treatment in the
use of artistic and physical therapies and special medication. We studied
clinical outcomes of anthroposophic therapy for depression. METHODS: 97
outpatients from 42 medical practices in Germany participated in a prospective
cohort study. Patients were aged 20-69 years and were referred to anthroposophic
therapies (art, eurythmy movement exercises, or rhythmical massage) or started
physician-provided anthroposophic therapy (counselling, medication) for
depression: depressed mood, at least two of six further depressive symptoms,
minimum duration six months, Center for Epidemiological Studies Depression Scale,
German version (CES-D, range 0-60 points) of at least 24 points. Outcomes were
CES-D (primary outcome) and SF-36 after 3, 6, 12, 18, 24, and 48 months. Data
were collected from July 1998 to March 2005. RESULTS: Median number of
art/eurythmy/massage sessions was 14 (interquartile range 12-22), median therapy
duration was 137 (91-212) days. All outcomes improved significantly between
baseline and all subsequent follow-ups. Improvements from baseline to 12 months
were: CES-D from mean (standard deviation) 34.77 (8.21) to 19.55 (13.12) (p <
0.001), SF-36 Mental Component Summary from 26.11 (7.98) to 39.15 (12.08) (p <
0.001), and SF-36 Physical Component Summary from 43.78 (9.46) to 48.79 (9.00) (p
< 0.001). All these improvements were maintained until last follow-up. At
12-month follow-up and later, 52%-56% of evaluable patients (35%-42% of all
patients) were improved by at least 50% of baseline CES-D scores. CES-D improved
similarly in patients not using antidepressants or psychotherapy during the first
six study months (55% of patients). CONCLUSION: In outpatients with chronic
depression, anthroposophic therapies were followed by long-term clinical
improvement. Although the pre-post design of the present study does not allow for
conclusions about comparative effectiveness, study findings suggest that the
anthroposophic approach, with its recourse to non-verbal and artistic exercising
therapies can be useful for patients motivated for such therapies.
Publication Types:
Clinical Trial
Comparative Study
Research Support, Non-U.S. Gov't
PMID: 17173663 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]

5: J Marital Fam Ther. 2006 Oct;32(4):405-19.
Externalizing problems through art and writing: experiences of process and
helpfulness.
Keeling ML, Bermudez M.
Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University, USA. mkeeling@vt.edu
Externalization of problems as a component of narrative therapy has been well
defined by such authors as Epston and White, and Freedman and Combs. This study
reflects the voices and experiences of 17 participants who engaged in an
innovative externalization exercise combining sculpture and journaling over a
period of 4 weeks. In an attempt to better understand the experience of the
participants, the principal investigator also engaged in the exercise. Findings
indicated that the intervention helped participants express emotions, increased
their awareness of personal resources and agency, helped separate problems from
self decreased symptoms and problem behaviors, and fostered a sense of
empowerment. This study reveals the potential usefulness of physically
externalizing problems and interacting with them deliberately over time. Such
interventions may be useful components of narrative therapy or augmentations to
brief therapy. They may help reach populations who have limited access to therapy
services or who are reluctant to present for therapy.
PMID: 17120515 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]

6: Clin Child Psychol Psychiatry. 2006 Apr;11(2):271-82.
Art therapy for children: how it leads to change.
Waller D.
Goldsmiths College, University of London, UK. diane.waller@virgin.net
The aim of art therapy is to facilitate positive change through engagement with
the therapist and the art materials in a safe environment. This article will
explore how art therapy is used to help children with emotional, developmental
and behavioural problems. It will show how change occurs during the process of
physical involvement with the materials; through the making of a significant art
object; through sublimation of feelings into the images; and through
communication with the therapist via the art object. The article is illustrated
with case vignettes which demonstrate how the theories underpinning art therapy
are put into practice, drawing attention to the changes that occur as a result.
Publication Types:
Case Reports
PMID: 17086689 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]

7: Geriatr Nurs. 2006 Sep-Oct;27(5):309-16.
Art therapy: Using the creative process for healing and hope among African
American older adults.
Johnson CM, Sullivan-Marx EM.
Living Independently for Elderly (LIFE) Program, University of Pennsylvania
School of Nursing, Philadelphia, USA.
This article provides an introduction to the field of art therapy and the
potential it can offer to address the emotional needs of the frail elderly. Two
case studies are discussed, and examples of artwork are provided. The case
studies and artwork were created under the guidance of an art therapist at a
Program of All-Inclusive Care for the Elderly (PACE) site in an urban African
American community. This article explores how art making addresses the specific
developmental tasks of the elderly in a culturally competent manner. Included are
practical considerations in the choice of art media and directives for working
with elderly clients, as well as resources for further information on the use of
art in therapy.
Publication Types:
Case Reports
Review
PMID: 17045130 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]

8: Eur J Cancer Care (Engl). 2006 Sep;15(4):333-41.
The role of art-making in identity maintenance: case studies of people living
with cancer.
Reynolds F, Prior S.
School of Health Sciences and Social Care, Brunel University, Middlesex, UK.
frances.reynolds@brunel.ac.uk
The aim of this qualitative research was to understand why some people with
cancer take up art as a leisure activity, and how visual art-making in daily life
might support identity maintenance/reconstruction. The study forms part of a
larger project with people who view art-making as a resource for living with
chronic illness. In order to provide a detailed, holistic analysis, the paper
focuses on the accounts and artwork of three participants, two women (aged 47 and
59 years) each with breast cancer, and a man (aged 51 years) with stomach and
lung cancer. The participants turned to art after a process of reflection but did
not necessarily reject their pre-illness lifestyles or selves. Rather, art-making
afforded many opportunities to retain familiar personal and social identities,
and to resist being dominated by labels related to their illness. A practical
implication is that people coping with cancer may need not only cognitive and
emotional support, but opportunities to find meaningful activities. Such
activities can be understood to have a powerful role in maintaining a familiar,
positive identity in cancer, and providing a resource for coping.
Publication Types:
Case Reports
PMID: 16968314 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]

9: Eat Disord. 2006 Mar-Apr;14(2):131-42.
Comment in:
Eat Disord. 2007 Jan-Feb;15(1):1-3; author reply 3-4.
Arts-based therapies in the treatment of eating disorders.
Frisch MJ, Franko DL, Herzog DB.
University of Minnesota, Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA. fris0039@umn.edu
Arts-based therapies are increasingly being employed, in conjunction with
empirically valid traditional therapies, in the residential treatment of eating
disorders. A systematic database search of arts-based therapies in the treatment
of eating disorders was conducted. In addition, program staff at 22 residential
eating disorder treatment programs were contacted to provide information
regarding arts-based therapy utilization rates. Of the 19 programs that
participated in this study, all incorporate arts-based therapies on at least a
weekly basis in the treatment of eating disorders. However, while published
narrative reflections on arts-based therapies and eating disorders imply a
generally positive outcome, no known, empirically valid studies exist on this
experiential form of therapy within the area of eating disorders.
Publication Types:
Research Support, Non-U.S. Gov't
PMID: 16777810 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]

10: Palliat Support Care. 2003 Jun;1(2):135-42.
A communication tool for cancer patients with pain: the art therapy technique of
the body outline.
Luzzatto P, Sereno V, Capps R.
Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, New York, New York, USA.
paoluz@concentric.net
OBJECTIVE: The multidimensional aspect of pain suggests the use of multimodal
interventions. The Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center has recently utilized
the art therapy modality to help patients communicate the painful side of their
illness in such a way that they can feel understood and respected. In this paper
we describe a simple innovative art therapy intervention that we have developed
within the Art Therapy Service in the Psychiatric Department of Memorial
Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center. METHOD: The patients work with a Body Outline as a
starting template, together with the art therapist, in sessions lasting
approximately 45 minutes. They are encouraged to fill the space inside and
outside the Body Outline. They can use colored pastels, markers, or watercolor or
cut out images for a collage. RESULTS: Seventy hospitalized adult cancer
patients, 60 women and 10 men, used this intervention between January 1999 and
May 2000. We have analyzed the variety of responses from the 70 patients, and
three main groups have emerged, which have focused on the following issues: (1)
visualization of physical pain, (2) communication of emotions, and (3) search for
meaning/spirituality. SIGNIFICANCE OF RESULTS: The results suggest that because
of its abstract symbolic feature, the Body Outline is a very flexible therapeutic
intervention. It must be offered within the relationship with the art therapist,
and it may fulfill quite a variety of expressive needs, from the description of
physical pain to the elaboration of spiritual longings.
Publication Types:
Clinical Trial
PMID: 16594275 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]

11: J Trauma Dissociation. 2005;6(4):5-38.
Visual art therapy's unique contribution in the treatment of post-traumatic
stress disorders.
Avrahami D.
Kibbutzim College of Education, Beit Berl College-School of Art, 15 Shimoni St,
Ramat Aviv, Tel Aviv, 69026, Israel. avdalia@yahoo.com
This paper describes visual art therapy as an integrative and unique approach,
which is most appropriate for the multidimensional treatment of post-traumatic
stress disorder (PTSD). The unique contribution of visual art therapy in the
treatment of PTSD is expressed in three major areas: (1) working on traumatic
memories, (2) the process of symbolization-integration, and (3) containment,
transference and countertransference. Two case descriptions of traumatized
patients treated in visual art therapy are presented.
Publication Types:
Review
PMID: 16537321 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]

2007-07-30T14:28:00.000-07:00

For a solo work I need a definite idea. For the present I have none.
Alfred Schnittke

I am not good at acting without apriori. For so long I have been in a tailspin to someone else tantrum. It's what I do. Few react to me. I am the litmus paper, someone else the acid.
I am in a holding pattern waiting for someone to say: go.

Or rather for someone to say "good job"or "great idea." What is it about affirmation? We don't exist, unless someone else says we do? Unless we are weighed, rated, packaged,labelled and shipped.

Someone must record our vitals and judge them. I write just to get by, just to be heard. I speak to hear a voice saying what I need to express. Sometimes life is like that , peculiarly lonely.
And as I hate to admit it, it's then when I produce.

A critic of mine was correct, I am lost and she suggested I not write till I am found. Till I have a mountain of experience outside of my own to draw upon? Others literary characters, history and experience. My own story is not good enough?

2007-07-27T14:58:00.000-07:00

Spiritual and religious traditions, when shaped by the feminine principle, affirm the cyclical phrases of our lives and the wisdom each phase brings, the sacredness of our bodies and the body of the Earth
Patrick Wynne quotes

I am feeling emotional and bloated. Last night I had cramps, more than most want to know. These things tell me old aunt Flo is on her way. I try and keep this in mind when I start feeling melancholy and sensitive.

Placing myself in my cycle, allows me to know what I need. Like in the winter I wear layers, it's a simple concept but society has stripped women of the right to admit they cycle. We are not controlled by our hormones,but they are factors in how we feel.

I need to have space for myself, to eat something rich, walk alone and find peace. Taking care of ourselves is good practice for caring for others. And women who attract narcissists need to take care of themselves. We need to take time for expression and pampering- be it that expensive soap at the drugstore or a new suit. I like tea and good book.

Suffering is important too in life, it is redemptive and avoidance of it, as M.Scott Peck says, the basis of mental illness. But suffering for a purpose, not placing ourselves on the pyre for someone else's psychodrama.

Artus interreptus.....

2007-07-26T11:42:00.000-07:00

Today, the degradation of the inner life is symbolized by the fact that the only place sacred from interruption is the private toilet.
Lewis Mumford quotes (American Writer, 1895-1990)

I have been trying to, or meaning to write a poem for a few days. It has formed a few times, a good line, central theme, it''s about vice I recall and then I move on to something else. I can multi-task, but not when I write poetry.I have to be there, and I am so rarely "here" I haven't done much more than acknowledge I have some verse on my mind.

I don't stop myself and jot it down I don't why, seems scurrying along to something more, bigger, better more pertinent at the time is more important. But really I am on treadmill, just barely touching base with anything I do when I am on to the next.

I am always writing though. Three blog entries a day generally. And notes I write on bus. Writing is my paddle I think I use to steer my thoughts, poetry is my stream. Underneath all I do,are the experiences,reactions and effects waiting to be released.

I claim to have no time,so I stuff them and walk on them; it feels like stepping on a carpet covering broken toys. I stumble and hop, until a jack just stops me in my tracks. There's a puncture wound, some blood ink and I finally release.

2007-07-25T11:10:00.000-07:00

Lonnie Holley

Everyone's a critic...

2007-07-24T09:27:00.000-07:00

After all, one knows one's weak points so well, that it's rather bewildering to have the critics overlook them and invent others.
Edith Wharton (1862 - 1937)

I asked for and got: criticism. I didn't mean to really ask, I just had to fill in the subject line on a Craigslist posting. But someone in Cleveland took me up on my request.

She was honest and direct, some I agreed with, some I found amusing as it was opposite some other criticism I had received. I am too cliched, or is it not enough? I need universal themes, but I always thought good writing brought new worlds to light.

And the writer guessed we're both lost; she's correct, that's what this blog is about. Defining ourselves outside of others conventions and/or expectations. Women, even today, have more roles but not fewer responsibilities: we are to be everything to everyone all at once, save ourselves. Nothing new there, that's life.

Consulting the rules of composition before taking a photograph, is like
consulting the laws of gravity before going for a walk.” Edward Weston

The writer also said: " I think a true, successful artist is not a tortured soul, but a rounded individual with lots to draw inspiration from. Your works says something is missing. Oh, I hope you find it, there is talent in both the words and the images, but it does need something. When they use the word "composition", it is meant as a way to pull all of the separate parts of a story or artwork together into a common whole. Life is like that too, separate parts, and if something is out of place or missing, there is no composition. "

I do not believe insanity is a perquisite for art-making, but it obviously does not hurt in many cases, and usually does not hinder. The art produced is different, but not inferior. Brute artist's(art of the institutionalized insane) is a good example of art being produced despite ones limitations. A scattered life is a quilt:scrapes put together to keep one warm, whole and full.

PS:

Husband and I are starting to make homemade ties. I plan on putting my poetry somewhere on them. Here's where I am getting my tie pattern.

2007-07-23T10:51:00.000-07:00

Fun is good. Dr. Seuss

I've been forcing myself into my discomfort zone; forcing myself to do things by myself. I went to a reading the other night, alone. I didn't want to read, though I was scheduled to be the "feature"--think centerfold. I was it. The main act. And I told the guy running it: "no, I can't do it." He kept saying: "yes, you can."

He the insisted I give him some introduction, I said: "my name." He noted the level of self-deprecation. I laughed, I know how I came across, but I really do not think that lowly of myself, I just have acute desire not to try others patience. Really.It's a trait acquired as of late, but one I am honing. Not because I am so interested in minding others boundaries, I think friends on occasion cross them, but because. I want to start on a level playing field. I didn't want to read AT poor unlucky saps just hoping to drink coffee and surf the Internet. I want to read to people who want to listen.

A couple of poets went first, then I was corralled up. I promised to do it, so I did- I generally keep my word. And it wasn't so awful as those who wanted to leave, left and the rest of the folks circled around...and I was surprised when I was asked to use the microphone- someone wanted to hear what I said. I think ruefully, because they haven't yet.

Afterwords, I spoke with an old-man-poet; he shared his opinion of my writing and presentation. He showed me simple notations he makes in his writing to remember to pause, to control pace. Afterwords, he invited me to a party- a regular function at an art studio nearby- I knew of it, had been before, so I went. It was so much fun.

There were characters-young and old- and a giant bottle of homemade wine...made in the basement. The tiny flies about testament to the the wine barrels below.I was dragged in and out of conversation about religion, sex/sin and art. And all around there were artworks: paints and sculptures- an antique double bed in the corner, kitchenette and ply board bathroom.

Unsurprisingly- if you really think about it- I met another parishioner of my church I had never met before. And I felt very engaged, oddly alive. I know a bit was the little nugget of encouragement I received from the old man who revealed he used to edit a well-known poetry mag- the rest was the fact I did read, I participated.I wasn't like all those folks who regularly file in and out of life, we talked about THEM- the old man and I.

Drawings

2007-07-20T14:08:00.000-07:00

2007-07-10T15:17:00.000-07:00

Life is sometimes a creative act, all the time I suspect. From what we wear to how we speak,and what we we produce. Making babies is the ultimate act of creation.

I thought of that as I gazed at my fat pumpkin waking from her rest. She has large dark brown eyes, long lashes and big pouty lips. Not to mention her ringlets. She could be flying across the Sistine Chapel, sans her pull-up.

And I made her. Well,with God and my husband's assistance. And she speaks, yells and sings. What a wonder. She also steals what she wants from stores, at 3 that's OK- even adorable.

Today I just pondered her, and what we lose when we deconstruct life. We destroy beauty, destroy a masterpiece like Picasso did regularly.

2007-07-05T12:15:00.001-07:00

I CELEBRATE myself;

And what I assume you shall assume;

For every atom belonging to me, as good belongs to you.

I loafe and invite my Soul;

I lean and loafe at my ease, observing a spear of summer grass.

-Whitman

Art is a gift. Both the talent required to create it and the end-product. And that's why we yearn to know the motivation behind the "gift." A token given to assuage guilt or manipulate is much different, despite the fact the item does not materially change, than a gift given out of love and friendship.

I have beautiful gifts, I store away because I cannot bear to see them now. Gifts given to me by my mother, I just wonder about their meaning. And others I display, and cherish.

I love some artists because I love them in some way. I appreciate their gift and art,but also their life. Something makes them lovable to me. I love Jack Kerouac because he was undautingly honest and human. A favorite anecdote of mine about him:

Like many Catholics, Kerouac didn't totally fit in with either camp. The
confusion of the left and right towards him is understandable, given the fact
that as Kerouac watched the Senate "Communist witchhunt" hearings he was smoking marijuana and cheering for Joe McCarthy.

I had held Allen Ginsberg in my heart, not because I love his poetry- it's okay, but because he was decent fellow to my friend (see story) and he had an incredible vim and vigor for poetry. I oppose most causes he supported, but he sincerely believed, as I do, poetry is a force for change.

I realized the extent of passion for poetry when I read a biography of him, I Celebrate Myself.

The book is filled with his tales of activism and use of poetry to bring his ideas to the public square. His success inspired me, and I found I could respect and honor his dedication to furthering poetry's role in society, in mankind really. Allen Ginsberg to me seemed to be a prophet for poetry's vitality and necessity, like clean air or water.

Then, even before I read what confirmed my suspicion, I read of his life-long attachment to Peter Orlovsky. His life was spent trying to get Peter to have sex with him. They were lovers early on, and spent their lives attached in some manner. Peter was in and out of drug rehabs, jail and Allen's bed. But Allen never seemed to get the sort of affection he wanted from Peter. I could not tell if Peter was sexually involved with him later on, though the book did chronicle Peter's involvement with young women, when he had not depressed his sexual appetite and /or ability with drugs and alcohol.

Allen did not keep lovers around for long, save Peter. And that seemed odd. Men had fallen in love with him, offered their affections,but he moved on though he bemoaned the lack of sex in his life. Only Peter said no regularly and acted out to hurt Allen, to keep him away. Peter acted so badly in Allen's presence, he was often jailed or institutionalized.

Allen kept providing him with chances, funding his rehabs and appearing to be a very caring and decent person where Peter was concerned. I thought that, until I was walking down the street thinking about Ginsberg's odious affiliation with NAMBLA. He was, as far as I know, the only public figure ever openly involved with this organization. Even his left-wing friends eviscerated him for his public support of this group.

The author of the book writes-off his involvement in a few ways, one being Ginsberg's love

of publicity. I agree, he loved the limelight, but he also loved what he could not have. I suspect raping a pre-pubescent boy would have thrilled him, but he knew if he was caught what would happen.

Like any narcissist he couldn't stand love, God. Anyone who loved him-a few women pursued him, wanted his children- was sullied, the chase was over and anyone who loved him obviously was base ( really: honest,sincere) because he knew what he was: depraved (really: phony, lecherous, sold to the Devil).

And deeper still, narcissism is a rejection of God, for God is love. Peter did not love Ginsberg- he left him to die the night he was to keep watch during his final hours. Peter left to buy a stolen bicycle. Allen slipped into a coma that night,and died the next morning.

Ginsberg had 3000 names in his Rolodex at the time of his death, I doubt he knew many of them well. As an artist, he had the gift of seeing God's world in a few more dimensions, he had an experience of love that is creation and rejected it. His rejection as far as I can tell was thoughtful,conscientious, he wanted most of all to conqueror and discard, he feared any other god than him.

He feared and, seemingly, rejected God, that is love,because he was gifted with the ability to create, but found deconstruction safer. Because when we love, we are vulnerable, we all know we will die and often in life we die little deaths of hopes and dreams- these he wanted to control completely with his pen.

2007-07-02T14:50:00.000-07:00

It is only too true that a lot of artists are mentally ill- it's a life which, to put it mildly, makes one an outsider. I'm all right when I completely immerse myself in work, but I'll always remain half crazy.
Vincent van Gogh quotes (Dutch Painter, one of the greatest of the Post-Impressionists, 1853-1890)

I think women are the consummate outsider artists even when they have been trained.The art world is dominated by men and their standards, expectations. Men are artists, women fit it in,in between everything else we do. And if we don't,if concentrate only on our art,we are selfish,not quite women.

And that's odd considering we create life, incubate within ourselves. God is really the supreme artist, and women gods in miniature. And to make art one has to be on the fringe, you do not make art and maintain sanity. Offspring, artworks they make you crazy or they are results of all of the love, desire, intent bottled up and looking for a canvas.

I think God wanted a canvas, he needed a show. So he made the world His gallery and we are His pieces. Women the outsider artists, creating art, as my friend Leo, the homeless outsider artist I know, says: without an education because,we already know what we're doing, it's in our bones ( my term: uteruses).

2007-06-27T08:36:00.000-07:00

"Fortunately art is a community effort --a small but select community living in a spiritualized world endeavoring to interpret the wars and the solitudes of the flesh."Ginsberg, Allen

I met Allen Ginsberg. I spent a week attending lectures by him when I was 17. I was just beginning to become aware of my own ability to write. I had an inkling we were of the same kind. But I was a high school student and shy. Every day for a week, my English class went to see him lecture in the Rare Books room of the undergraduate library at the University of Buffalo. The room was packed and I sat with my friend Joe, only friend from high school I speak to.

I don't recall anything he said, just being there. I read last night he declined speaking fees for years,but if the institution insisted he told them to give it to the library for the purchase of poetry books. He gave my friend Joe $10 and told him to give it to our library to buy a replacement for the book of Ginsberg's Joe had taken from the school library and asked him to sign. Ginsberg knew Joe would never return it now that it was signed; hysterically- years later his mother gave it back to our high school library.

The last night of Ginsberg visit he gave a reading at the Albright Knox ( most amazing Art gallery for a small city). We arrived late and prepared to line the walls. An usher saw us and asked a high society lady to remove her fur from two front-row-center seats so that we could sit down.

If I am honest, I like to think our meeting was like the photo of Clinton meeting JFK.

2007-06-26T11:52:00.000-07:00

Love is when the desire to be desired takes you so badly that you feel you could die of it.::: Henri Toulouse Lautrec :::

I was looking for a quote on showing ones art, on galleries, on openings, on readings- but I found this quote and it really summarizes how I feel today about my art. My poetry is what I speak through now. I cannot talk anymore, there is no one appropriate to listen. Though I realize now it was folly to ever think I was heard at all.

I think all artists are waiting to be noticed. Are we artists without an audience?I suppose, we are. But I know I dangle until I hear that unsolicited word of praise. And the words just wash over me, it's better than an orgasm. And existence without such love, praise and/or acknowledgement empty.

I write more now. Embarrassingly I realize the one I wrote for, never read me. And the one I have always been with, who endures all of me every day, endures my writing too. He doesn't get it. He asks about it, like one follows a recipe. And I appreciate and love him for it, but it's like your mother telling you, you are beautiful. Well, my mother never said that to me, but I imagine it's that way.

2007-06-25T10:45:00.000-07:00

Poets (and others), The Bathroompoetry Project is looking for some sites. We have a willing participant who is looking for a few colleagues to help get the project up and running. Please take a look at the website and contact me if you're interested. http://bathroompoet.net/

I love this idea, probably because I love Jenny Holzer's work.

Recent poem:

what change from a dollar can get you
amusement and novelty
everything is available from a vending machine
anonymous boxes
slots for the obscene
plastic wrap for penises
and faux cotton
dummies
phalluses
to absorb
what the polyurethane screen deducted
proving life
doesn't come in a box
only the dead

vanity press? cafepress?

2007-06-22T13:16:00.000-07:00

This project was begun out of boredom, helplessness and a need to create. The Internet has allowed people to emote all over: in song; verse; pixels....so much room and so little attention span.

Is our art bad because it is published online? I have been asking these questions of myself.

Just today I received an acceptance letter; three of my poems will be published online. More exposure, but I wonder if these venues are peer-reviewed enough.

My knee-jerk response to anyone who wants me, is to question their quality. Yeah. Perhaps ,that's how I, we, ended up in this cycle. Both of us, have been rejected and toyed with by the same man. I was his friend, she, his ex-wife.

We struck up an unlikely friendship, and bonded once we realized it was him who is insane. Funny, how validated you feel once you learn he whispered veiled threats to all the women in his life, made you question your sanity and almost drove you insane.

But it was through his outright rejection of my art, that I knew he was ill. My art really set me free. Or rather frees me every day.

PR: project renew, project rejuvenation, personal recovery

2007-06-20T13:00:00.000-07:00

I am so full of ideas, and I want to write: shit. I get so overcome when I have a new idea for a project I can't stop. Last project I started, a non-profit, is still running 2.5 years later. It's been a steady success. And I feel full-of-myself admitting this. But it's true, so I know I can do something when I set my mind to it. Well, when I recruit the right folks to help. My non-profit would be a total bust if it wasn't for the help of many others. And today it runs itself really. My new idea is inspired by a deep desire to use my creativity to help others and find a little financial security.

Basically I want to create an online community, blog- forums and products to promote women's recovery through perseverance, self-reliance and faith. Through celebrating and rewarding each-others creativity, in whatever medium. This idea came to me when I realized how a friend and I have been healing ourselves through a joint project ( yes, another). That and that magazine I picked up on crafts. I am not crafty, but I like to help in whatever capacity I can. An online knitting circle is what I imagine, with daily articles and ideas- stuff you'd' share we your neighbors, friends and family.

Not self-help texts, or slogans, just projects and women to listen. I think that key, the work. We need to get out of funk, out of patterns imposed by others on us. Show ourselves we can make a difference. And in doing so, we change for the better.

2007-06-19T14:25:00.000-07:00

psychophagic:soul eater

I believe in Good and Evil. Psychophagic means soul eating, I learned that term when I was reading about narcissism. If you are spiritual, acknowledge a soul, you know what I mean if it has happened to you. I have been insulted before, hurt like everyone, heartbroken and scared. Those experiences were all different, than this. It's as if I am a pawn in a game, involuntarily I am someones amusement. They don't bore of me when I ignore them, they up the stakes. They want a response, a reaction.That's all I am to them, a reaction. Good or bad, and they want their fix like any drug fiend.This is what it feels like to objectified and mutilated. But I keep dodging their pins, I refuse to be their specimen. No fucking way.

courting a tsunami
there's a space between my brows
where the wrinkles started
and my eyes meet
when i formulate a thought
and get into poeticspace/ speak
I furrow like farmers till
and I remember my only impressive ability is (skill?)
skipping stones until I see I've made ripples too
and courted a tsunami
been stoning myself
and the salty/guilty spray
is man-made

2007-06-19T08:46:00.000-07:00

This morning I foolishly wondered aloud to my husband why we went to the moon. We were discussing the current space station mission going on now and how it is part of a larger plan to make it to Mars. Husband thinks space exploration is all about extending our military reach, he may be onto something. Then there's the base need of mankind to explore, to leave no stone unturned.

I think that's what I am trying to do with my words, my prose. Our artwork for sale and example is an attempt to see what if....

And this venture was started to really to win. To prove we can. And motivated by a war set into motion by a man. Much like space expoloration,we want to know what we can do in our space.