Milley Arissa

its okay, its alright~

2017-05-14T13:14:00.001+08:00

semalam Allah nk tunjuk kat aku macam mana perangai sebenar masing2 kan.
alhamdulilah. terdetik aku nk pegang phone dia kan.
astafirullahh..
memang kutuk aku kaw2 la kan.
aku seriously xsangka!
.
the thing is you have no idea what i have been through all this while, and u have the gut to label me with such words?
its okay.
Allah maha kaya!
.
Allah tunjukk..
elokk ja aku nmpk kan!
baca yg line atas tu pun dah cukup buat hati aku hancuq lebuq kan..
aku baca yg reply bawah tu plak!
ya Allahh..
sanggup yeh masing2?
sanggup yeh label aku as meroyan.
as saket otak.
as saket mental.
.
mana akal ampa semua?
mana?
ampa tau ka apa aku tgggung selama ni?
ampa tau?
how struggle aku nk adapt dengan perubahan satu demi satu kat aku..
ampa sanggup kan!
.
yes memang aku meroyan.
go ask ur along!
he knew and fully aware apa aku rasa dulu and now.
he know exactly why aku jadi camni!
go ask him!
.
setiap hari terdetik nk bunuh diri..sbb xsanggup nk coop dengan apa yg aku kena tanggung.
letih jiwa!
letih fizikal!
.
ampa? tau ka?
if only aku boleh bagi direct kat muka ampa seketoi2.
tgu la.
masa akan smpi.
once that masa smpi! aku nk tgk. cam mana gaya ampa masing2 kan.
aku xbodo.
Allah bagi aku akal pikiran utk pikir.
.
selama ni aku sanggup susah then tiba2 ampa plak beriya and berjemaah label aku macam2 kan?
mana ampa punya simpati?
aku saket!
ampa ngat aku berdrama swasta?
its okay Allah maha besaq!
.
lets see sampai bila ampa nk act suci murni depan aku kan.
one fine day ampa akan menyesal!
and aku choose not to say anything..bukan sbb aku syg kat ampa.
sbb aku pilih maruah aku.
mak abah aku xajaq xbesaqkan aku jadi cam ampa!
mulut puaka!
.
hidup ni ada kifarah!
la maybe ang xrasa.
esok lusa tulat. ampa xkan xkawen?
sorg tu dah kawen.
tgu la..
lama mana kan.
tp aku ni kak ampa.aku doa yg baik2 ja utk ampa.
tp xsangka la smpi tahap camni plak ampa buat kat aku kan.
so today onwards, xyah la mai berbahasa basi dengan aku lagi!
sorry la aku nk layan.
.
tergamak adik2 cakap camni kat aku.
aku jaga ampa dr kecik.
bila ampa besaq sikit ampa lupa?
.
aku dah cakap kat along ampa! dr a-z aku cerita. tgk la camna along ampa nk handle. tp as for me. i want nothing to do with u people anymore.
.
pst: sorry, this time ampa semua da melampau sgt! by calling me with such words, ampa lupa aku ni tggjawap and amanah abang ampa ka? ka ampa nk kami xdak apa2 ja. so ampa boleh amik balik abang ampa?camtu?
selama ni yg ni la dok jaga abang ampa! dok pekung segalaa. xhabaq sapa2. ampa tau? ampa dok act macam ampa mulia , malaikat Allah sgt pasaipa?
kak sha xmarah. tp kak sha kecik ati dengan ampa. tunggu la masa ampa nnt. Allah tunjuk satu-satu kat kak sha. lgsg dia xselindung aih. Allah tu maha kaya tau dak.

chia chia chiaa~

2017-05-04T23:19:00.000+08:00

tadik pi akasia nk tgu barang2 letrik smpi kan. so sementara tunggu, ternampak jiran umah no 21 tu, so xkan la nk senyum je kan.
aku pun jalan la pi tegoq dia.
alhamdulilah ramah.
kak iti namanya.
mula2 aku bahasakan iti je. lepas tu dia tya umoq.
since aku lagi muda kan.
cheewahh!
hahah terus dia bahasakan diri dia kak iti kan.
dia xbekerja.
and dok sorang jugak.
dah masuk umah tu 1st of may aritu lagi.
sempoi ja!
.
and while waiting, dia jemput la masuk rumahnyaa. cuma aku je la xmo lagi kan. sbb nk tgu abg2 tu mai antaq brg kan.
pastu tiba2 jiran sebelah kiri aku plak kuaq,
aku rasa shima kot namanya.
terus soklan pertama..
umoq berapa ni ya?
aku cam..hahah 31.
ooo samaa la kita..sambil dia mengekek gelak.
aku pun terhibur.
okay boleh tahan ramah jiran2 aku ni.
hahaha
so sembang la bila nk masuk and all.
and for the first time aku nmpk husband dia macam friendly.
all this while aku nk tegur pun malas kan.
since soon akan jadi jiran la kan.
so aku pun sembang la..
hehe.
aku pun ramah je. cuma muka ja sombong biasa la kan.
pastu balik la..
en cheff tya buat apa and all.
aku pun story la satu2 dengan dia..
buat apa, tgu apa, dpt apa, gmbaq lampu aku pun aku snap and hantaq dia.
walaupun semuanya my money and my decission but still, aku nk dia rasa included.
pi mai pi mai. it will be our syurga soon.
insya Allah..
.
tp aku nk cerita part lain. nowdays aku rasa aku mls nk cari pasai.everytime aku rasa nk terasa, aku twisted it to be something yg funny and maybe lovely la.
alhamdulilah la.semoga aku terus berperangai camni kan.

aku cerita la pasai jiran 21 tu, dok sorg and all. dia ckp oo sama la naseb dengan aku. aku actually word naseb tu macam trigger amarah aku sgt!tp aku mls!
so i twist la smpi jadik camtu.
aku xdak niat nk compare husband sapa lagi chomey la.
maaf kak iti.
just nk ease kan feeling dalam hati ni je.
and she is coway agent.
boleh la nk consider amik coway dengan dia kan.
anyway am helping her too.
gitu!
.
so that is how i can twist the "issue". and tomorrow ada lagi satu dugaan!
mata ku!
chazalion ku makin besaq!
esok nk pi jumpa doc mata.
and see what will be their recommendation kan.
worst come to worst, kena la serah diri kat hospital kan.
okay fine!
last masuk spital masa qaseh kuning dulu.
best jugak "check in" spital sekali sekala kan.
hahaha!

pst: actually aku takut!sbb mata kan!mata.
tp cant la..its getting worst and i cant tahan anymore, macam ada something tergantung kat eyelid i ni okay! so eye-surgery, here i come! serah diri! huhuh!

kuch kuch hotai haiii sangat tau~

2017-05-02T10:11:00.000+08:00

today marked my 1st day of working after almost setahun xbekerja tetap kan.
hahah!
walaupun aku smpi lmbt
835am like that
aku still org kedua yg smpi opis tau!
haha.
gila rasa cam wahhh! berdedikasi sgt kan.
.
luckly i bring my own laptop, kalu x confirm aku xtau nk buat apa sementara tgu laptop depa bagi kan.
.
lunch time kt sini kui 12-1pm.
.
lunch buddy anuar la.
since kami keja satu opis skrang.

all my officemate semua dr bangalore.
and password wifi pun..ala2 bolly wood tau!
hahaha nk gelak aku.
today jugak marked after so long, aku kena harung jam lagi..
haha.
aku promise nk kuatkan semangat this time around
and most of the people here nama depa super panjang, i can even pronounce and spell apatah lagi!
.
aku asyek tya. so i should call u?
.
yg sebelah aku ni dr tadik aku tengok dok shoppping kat amazon je kan. hahaha.
.
aku dr tadik melayan guest homestay
walaupun berkeja tetap. aku still akan continue dengan percutian bajet aku nih jugak!hahaa!
.
okay. enough laughing.
.
back to "office-face"
.

pst: i want my grill jeff! i dont care!

please la people!

2017-04-24T23:57:00.001+08:00

kadang2 aku pelik dengan org yg xreti2 nk blajaq dr benda yg lepas2.
maksud aku dah sekali terkena, beringat la kan.
xkan la dah kena pun still nk harung ja camtu jugak.
that is y aku wonder!
aku xkesah pun ye la bukan duit aku.
tp yg aku kesah is emosi en cheff aku yg ada kaitan dengan aku secara sangattt la langsung tau dak!
so please la!
.
no such thing as easy money la! melainkan scam semata2.
ampa xboleh nampakk ka?
ampa ni buta ka camna?
buta hati?
hanya nmpk duit ja ka semata2?
Allahh..tolong la..
.
duit tu bukan sikit2 kena.
bukan senang nk dpt byk tuh.
xkesah la ampa kaya ke camna ka.
but please la!
jgn merepek sgttt la wei!
.
penat aku tengok.
aku xdak la reti sgt nk berbiz, tp aku make sure aku berbiz cara yg betui,
not hentam cromok like that!
u know!
i dont believe in easy money
i believe u need to work hard to earn money!
no invest today tomorrow u become millionaire dah!
bullshit!
that all scamm!
.
sometime baguih jugak jadik fussy kan!
bukan apaaaaaaaaa..aku ni ssh nk percaya kat org.
nak xnak bab duit!
no wayy.
tp ntah la some people aku mmg trust dengan jiwa aku.
i will share everything.
i have 1 person for this!
i will deligate everything to her!
aku rasa aku patut start tulih semua all my password to all my social media acct and bank acct.
bukan apa if anything happen senang kan!
org lain sibuk nk tulih wasiat kan.
ni pun macam wasiat la!
aku nk make sure Qaseh baca semua kerepek mami dia nnt!
and nk dia tgk or browse thru all my FB posts, photos
my emails!
my online-shopping acct ---> so she can have all my store credits. hahahhaha
apa2 pun..
i want her to read all this dengan berlampang dada!
.
aku xmencemuh atau mengeji org sebarangan.
apa aku merepek kat sini. more to aku nk luahkan apa yg ada dlm hati aku ja!
habis xkan la ampa expect aku nk pi maki direct kat muka2 depa kot!
.
hahah i can do that.
im capable of doing that!
.
tp i choose not to!
im smart. so this is my smart-way of memaki!
hahaha
hello, life is about an option kan!
the choice in ur hand. pilih je la kan.
apa ssh!
kalu pilih utk sedia ditipu..go ahead la!
hahaha.
tp kalu ang nk emosi2 mmg aku xsuka la!
.
lagi satu!
nk biz tp dengan modal duit org!
hello!
so not bussiness minded la sgt tau!
.
awai2 dah salah!

okay la sign-off dulu. merempan back esok lusa!

pst: i almost bought myself that sofa i saw in harvey norman tadik! naseb baik insap sat! autogate 1st then sofa, then ti k vi then itu ini thenn itu ini lagi! hoit! i dont know bila listnk habis! hahahhaa okay bye!

nk redha ke tak hati?

2017-04-20T08:38:00.001+08:00

last night, as usual aku dok kecek2 en cheff kot2 nk blanja auto gate ke curtain ke kan.

dah tau dah susah dpt "fund" dr laki aku nih.

but just try my luck la kan..

then i remembered he told me bapak ckp nk kira duit sewa kereta tp masa aku ada. kununnya nk kira depan aku skali so aku tau etc etc la kan. okay fine! ada point di situ. its not like i dont trust them money. but yeahhhhh sikit sikit ada la.

then smlm aku pun ckp la kan. ey kata nk kira duit sewa kereta kan. xkira pun masa aku balik haritu.

rupanya bapak aku dah bg duit kat en cheff and he keep it as secret sbb he told me he want to use it as modal utk biz.

aku cam?

what???

nk buat biz pun biar la cara betui.

some of the money is mine okay!

if all are urs xpala.

then aku xmarah.

aku just tegur.

aku ckp if nk start buat biz, buat dgn cara yg betui,

tell me how much money nk guna bla bla bla.

at least i know part aku berapa. part dia berapa..

thn its up to me la nk bagi ke x kan..

then segala tok nenek la aku bebel kat dia.

issue duit semua bukan boleh buat main.

nak xnak dengan aku dah kuaqkan almst 35K utk umah akasia.

lagi la aku easily nk sentap!

so what i did is, i wished him luck la. mula kan biz dgn gaya gitu.

sebanyak mana aku dok doa supaya Allah murhkan rezeki dia.

tp yg salah tetap salah.

kena tegur.

at least aku dah tegur.

dont mess with me!

now. aku akan start buat record utk sewa kereta.

so he will know am not joking around. this is not something yg boleh amik remeh temeh. no way!

so yes!

aku ni punya la bajet sana sini..if got extra money why not la kan. alih2 jadi gini. dont get me wrong. i dont hate him. i hate only the perangai of xtau beza duit sendiri or not. walaupun aku ni wife dia kan. tp on the bright side.he started to gv duit belanja rumah dah. alhamdulilah..smoga Allah bukakkan hati dia dont take other people hak so suka suki like that. clarify betui. come clean. kan?

apa2 pun i still love him cant wait to see him later. he coming back tonight.

p/s: cokmot now is permanent resident. kitchen cabinet design and color confirmed. and all my duit saving all gone!haha. okay la i will kumpui back after this.

technical briefing katanya~

2017-04-14T21:14:00.003+08:00

as ampa semua sedia maklum,
aku akan kembali ke routine bangun awai redah jam pagi2 utk pi keja 2nd may nnt.
aku sgt happy!
sangattt!
tp aku dah start rasa aku akan busy sungguh once masuk opis nnt. sebab apaa tau.
xdann nk start keja lagi dah 2,3 kali depa panggei pi opis jumpa vp la. jumpa director la.
haha then yesterday, it was technical briefing.
OMG!
am scary!
tp insya Allah aku akan cuba buat yg terhabis baik this time around!
no more fooling around. :)
hahaha.

.
alhamdulilah..progress reno rumah pun progressing well.
alhamdulilahh cukup duit. hahah tu yg betui nya.
.
so nk decide kain curtain je ni.
should i menjahit sendiri or upah org je kan.
.
aku rasa cam nk jahit sendiri ja
try and error lagi pun aku nk buat style eyelett ja.
xmo la kening bagai.
haha xmodern lgsg kan..
so lets hope aku rajin okay!
.
next week aku cuba pi beli kain.
kain sheer and kain black out katanya.
.
kaler mmg aku dah decided awai2
.
tp kitchen cabinet aku rasa macam xmo buat mint green dah.
sbb apa?
haha sama kaler dgn mak mertua aku punya dapor la!
adoi!
maybe i will go for light grey a bit.
easy to match kan!
.
and the rest of the colors akan play around dengan color pastel je.
chewaaah!
busy kan aku!
sgt tau.
.
so now aku rasa nk hire 2 org utk maintain page zada malaika and IG zada malaika.

and i think aku nk hire akmal and bella.
bg depa few senses of bussiness a bit kan.
.
ey i shall whatapps them now!before aku lupa!
.
oh before aku lupa.
i had a best time with en chef last 2 days.
we took bus to KL, stay at ipah's house then went to ikea.
i treat them makan they sempena dpt keja kan.
.
i bought bar stool for my counter bar!
gituw!
hahaha!
.
next ahad, amik cokmot then melawat rumah sat
tgk apa cerita la si jeff tu buat kan kat sana.
.
p/s:rooting nk "check-in" bulan 7!
another 3 more months.

kaching!kaching!

2017-04-05T22:54:00.001+08:00

tadik pagi shopping lampu toilet x5
ye rumah aku sgtt la meriah dgn toilet tau.
haha stress tau nk beli lampu.
.
pastu aku beli lampu porch and lampu balcony.
semua pun aku beli style yg sama.
mls nk beli yg fancy2.
sbb ntah.
okay je yg pntg lampu tujuan dia bg terang.
hahah kan?
.
yes. aku settled semua sendiri.
dr A-Z
its okay.
used to it already.
.
just hope semuanya settle by april.
sebab may am going to be an engineer again.
.
and after this.
aku akan ada 3 keja at the same time.
.
1 engineer
2 travel agent
3 penjual tudung aka macam2 keja aku jadi keja ni. dr photog smpi la ke tokey. dr kuli okay! all by myself. phaiting!!
.
1 main keja, 2 and 3 side incomes.
2 and 3 can generate few K. plus another few K from 1.
alhamdulilah..
.
nothing come easy in this world sayang.
i have to work my ass of to earn money.
.
one day i hope semua org akan nmpk pengorbanan aku.
. and i dont expect them to understand pun.
sbb if depa understand depa xkan buat certain things like that.
.
nvrm.
so today am happy.
sbb 1st dpt beli lampu.
second dapat mkn tomyam secret recipe.
3rd dapat tgk beauty and the beast.
4th dapat beli choc like so many utk Qaseh, topup dana coklat beliau dlm fridge.
5th dapat mkn rasberry blended and fries. sedap!
6th ada 2 guests close deal arini. commision! kaching kaching!
.
alhamdulilahh. a lot of good thing happen to me today.
and i helped a bit anak2 syrian arini. menderma setakat yg aku mampu.
insya Allah i will help more in future.
i will continue my tabung akhirat start in june.
.
duit saving semakin nipis. hahaha kena bayar duit contractor.but pray to Allah..i have the money to settle down.
alhamdulilah..
i cant thanks enough for all the rezeki yg Allah bagi
.
bak kata mak. sujud syukur!
.
betui mak!
.
p/s: weekend ni balik kg tgk mak abah. and will see my en cheff there too.
next week i will chase my contractor to close on the cabinet design. then i will close on the defects too. stay strong Aishah! stays strong!

shopping perabot~

2017-04-02T21:21:00.002+08:00

aku xpernah tau fussynya aku nk decide something utk rumah sendiri tau!
setiap item aku nk beli aku pikir 18 juta kali!
hahahaha. aku pun xtau pasaipa.
tp masa aku amik nk pikir 18 juta kali tu xsmpi sejam pun!
haha arini aku pi beli set bilik tidoq dgn wardobe gila besaq and i plan to install mirror kat wardrobe aku once dah siap nnt kan.
tp tu la arrangement wardobe cam pelik sikit la bilik nnt kan.
aku actually focusing more on the master bedroom
sbb apa!
aku akan spend most of the time dlm bilik tuh.
walaupun aku xtau how to deal dgn life style 8-5pm nant kan.
doakan aku boleh bangun awai!
hahaha!
awaila mami hantaq qaseh pi sekolah nnt. and insya Allah mami akan cuba amik qaseh before 6 just like before sayang.
.
baru je habis cakap tepon dgn mak.
dia call tya khabaq.
am okay mak. alhamdulilah..walaupun on the other hand duit kuaq macam ayaq!
uish!
xpa insya Allah rumah akan ready by june!
so by july dah boleh pindah masuk or as early as june jugak.
pastu once dah masuk, boleh duduk diam2 je dlm tu.
hahaha sbb duit dah habis.
setahun la kena posa shopping!
.
esok jumpa si jeff (contractor) nk discuss design cabinet and nk tya berjayaka dia jumpa glass door kaler mint green yg aku nak tu! haha.
okay temanya mint green, grey and white.
as for curtain since aku dah pakai tinted cermin. so aku thinking nk pakai kain putih biasa ja.
nk wujudnya ruang yg besaq!
kununnya la kan!hahhaa
.
bilik bawah confirm bilik mak abah.
.
bilik atas bilik qaseh and bilik menjahit.
so now i have 3 katils!
1 for bilik bawah. no need all the cupboard and all!
just katil should be cukup dah.
1 in master bed room
another one maybe in anothe room.
sbb satu lagi bilik temp aku nk buat bilik bekerja aku.
nk buat bilik menjahit and tempat qaseh lepak2 buat keja skolah dia.
.
aku xtau how to handle fix- working mom life again.
tapi aku akan make sure, i will handle it better than before.
.
doakan aku semua!

p/s: cant wait to move in the new house! hurm what should i call my house ya? have to think a nice name for him/her! hahaha!

designing my kitchen cabinet~

2017-04-01T11:05:00.000+08:00

cheewahhh!!
. as u olls xtau.
aku dah dapat kunci rumah 4th march aritu..
so busy la aku mengatur plan nk reno umah, check defects and segala duit utk rumah.
.
walaupun bajet xbyk.
tp alhamdulilah..
aku habiskan yg penting2 dulu.
so start with tembok belakang + grill + awning ( ni plan tempat budak2 bulus nk roaming)
its suppose to be my laundry area.
tp as for now,
aku redha je la. boh mesin basuh dlm rumah tepi toilet dapor and sidai kain bawah tga!
hahahha
sbb aku rasa most of the time aku sure akan spend masa byk kat top floor.

so grill the whole house settled.
then tinted the whole cermin settled!
lampu downlights living hall+kitchen+wiring+switches settled!
tembok pagar depan settled!
basic kitchen cabinet with counter top (gedis) settled!
tiles kitchen settled ( white and grey blocks)
kitchen cabinet doors (mint green) - xtau la if si Jeff (contractor) can find glass door this color or not..semoga jumpa la!
kekipas, aircond and stove/ovenhood settled.

so theme color rumah aku nnt grey+white+mint green
kalu ada extra colors pun it will be all pastel colors.
well, aku nk rumah nmpk minimalise seminima mungkin.
so before aku pindahh.
aku akan letgo all the stuff yg aku xguna!
either aku juai! or aku gv for free je!
asalkan ada yg guna.

mesin jahit semua will be located in Qaseh's room sementara. sbb dia pun tidoq dgn aku. so no point sgt boh seketoi katil utk dia.
kalu org mai pun. hampar toto ja..
hahaha
bilik bawah plannya utk bilik solat + guest room
so nk cari katil yg boleh didouble bed kan from single.
so time org xdak. jadikan katil single. so ada space utk ruang solat.

i think most likely semua ni akan easily hit 30K. tu je max bajet aku ada! aahha
.
as for curtains and all, aku rasa nk beli yg ready made je kat jusco ke camtu.
then diy je la kayu semua2 tuh.
kedai diy ada juai kan semua ni.
and if ada bajet lebih nk tukar pintu toilet atas.
hoho!

so and!!
aku dah dpt keja!
alhamdulilah..
rasa batu atas bahu hilang the moment depa ckp!
congratulations Aishah! welcome on board.
wahhhh!
rasa cam nk nanges!
like seriously !
alhamdulilah..
aku terus sujud syukur!

p/s: nnt aku share more details about rumah and all ya!
am so excited!

blogging from my goldilock~

2017-03-02T21:19:00.000+08:00

goldilock ( read: my new HP pavilion) hahaha
aku memang spesies akan boh nama kat semua items aku.
like seriously.
bila aku boh nama. aku rasa attached to that particular item
noo bukan aku sick. or xbetui.
ye la sbb benda kadang2 susah kita nk dpt kan. plus bukan seringgit dua.

alhamdulilahh..
rezeki tetap ada.
sikit pun asalkan ada.
Allah bg sikit2 pun okay dah.
mana tau lepas ni byk kan.
semoga aku sentiasa "close" dengan Allah.

now am worried bout en cheff.
dah la dia balik and then getting paid lagi sikit dr apa yg dia boleh dpt masa keja kat sini.
aku cam apakah?
aku baru la feeling2 nk kunun2 xyah bayar expenses byk2 dah kan.
tiba2 aku lagi.
aku lagi dan lagi.
bukan complaint.
tp aku rasa xpuas ati.
its not the time la nk kulikan org camtu.
kalu nk pekerja hire je la org.

and now aku lagi kena pikir. stress wei.
kenapa la depa ni pikiaq camni.
aku pun pelik.
apa intents depa xtau.
apa yg depa cuba nk capai ntah.

aku tetap camni.
aku xkan sesekali ikut telunjuk org camtu.
sorry!
biaq la aku ssh sikit tp am on my own.

esokk website boley launch..
lusa dpt kunci rumah..
tulatt boleh celebrate.
yay!!!

p/s: i wonder berapa la pampasan aku dpt kan? hahahhaa

well..well..all is well~

2017-02-13T22:20:00.002+08:00

its been a while kan?
hi!
hello silent readers (bajet cam ramai baca blog aku kan? hahhaa)

alhamdulilah..things are getting so much better between us.
now dia nampak apa yg aku dok bebel selama ni.

walaupun aku xdpt keja lagi kan. haha xtau la kenapa susah sgt org nk hire aku kan.
yg nk hire semua nya nk org coding. alahai.
that is so not me la.
umoq2 camni aku xnak la keja yg saket kepala yg nk kena keja start from scratch.
ey menjahit xpa. aku minat!hahaha

alhamdulilah..harini baru settle upload gmbar bagi kat developer.
my very own website!! to be launched soon!
cant wait!

i have so much things inside my head kan..
so i roughly tulih dlm note. so that i wont forget bout them.

1 step at 1 time.
its getting there..
pray to Allah.

i dont know what to merepek anymore nowdays, nk main candy crush pun xsempat tau.
bukan main2 aku busy atur my own life.

am happy as he changed a lot.
i hope boley sustain la..
and am happy with my 60kg weight!
sighhh! cant do anything already.
i wanted to kurus so badly, but i cant say no to fried foods.
habis camna!!
so am being neutral,
still jogging and running just to keep myself fits.

actually i have a lot to cerita.
tp still thinking...
which one nk cerita kan.
hahaha

p/s: semoga Allah mudahkan urusan kami ya..

Stay calm Aishah~

2017-01-15T16:22:00.001+08:00

Cepatla habis period.

Aku nk solat.

Aku nk baca Quran.

That is the only for me to stay calm.

Pst: maybe am no longer relevant to him.

Lawak Qaseh~

2016-11-07T20:58:00.000+08:00

mami Qaseh nk uuk uuk..
Cepat pi toilet..
Qaseh xboleh jalan..
Jangan poo dlm pampers,ke Qaseh dah poo?
Not yet tp Qaseh xboleh dah.
Kenapa?
Poo Qaseh dah datang.
Apa???datang?

P/s: when u grow older mami nk bg link blogs mami kat Qaseh.so u can readd all this kerepeks!

Learn on how to do fashion sketching~

2016-11-01T21:22:00.000+08:00

huyooo!
Mencabaq gila nk sketch hoit!
But i wont give up.
Simple ja Aishah, once dpt flow insya Allah senang jadinya nnt.

I have 1 new tudung design to launch. Maybe early January la.
Sbb nk launch skali dengan RTW which aku pun tak yakin boleh siapkan by January jugak

Nk pilih material kain lagi kan.
Warna kain lagi.

Design i go for 2 max 1st.
Have a lot of things to consider la nnt.
Walaupun hanya 2 designs.

Mampu ke aku nih?
Ya Allah..tolong permudahkan urusan aku ya Allah..
As i mentioned so many times in previous post.
If this happening i probably will consider to retire from being an engineer.

Menjahit pun aku ikut mood Sekarang.
Adoi!!
Aku Kena make sure consistency la.
Nk habits kan semua stocks tudung.
Photo shoot lagi skali utk website.
Then am done with this batch.

Alhamdulilah..balance ni boleh dah earn 3k++ including PBM skali la.
Running 2 biz at the same time.
2 pages to handle.
1 IG to handle. Ey 2 including my personal IG. :)
150pcs tudung to Jahit. Alhamdulilah..mmg slow sales tp ada sales.
So aku kena maintain lagi.
Nk target untung bersih 5K and above baru boleh okay sikit.

Dok pikir nk beli laptop and pelekat baru diamond ni.
Tp still thinking.
Xmo rushing2 sgt.
Duit semua tuh.

Now aku nk focus blajaq sketching smpi terer.
Pastu nk try jahit baju yg aku nak buat RTW next year.
Ssh jugak pikiaq nk buat baju yg sopan and sesuai utk semua org.
But i will make sure, selling price will be lower than the market.

P/s: esok Bermula Misi tanpa gula aku. Smpi end of this month.

Slow but eventually will get there~

2016-10-31T21:54:00.000+08:00

zada malaika doing a bit slow past few weeks.
The reason why is i need to stop spending some sponsored ads until i totally figure out the right audience for all the ads.
In a meanwhile, aku try attract follower dengan cara manual.
Keep updating the pages dengan few gambar.
Oh maybe i should start back the schedule post.
Okay! Will do this.
As for IG and FB setiap hari ada je new follower.
Alhamdulilah..
Slow as i said earlier, but eventually will get there kan?
How i define there?

When i hit 5k revenue. Bersih tolak all the modal.
When zada malaika ready stock boleh di beli secara offline di few boutique in Kedah and penang.
When zada malaika website officially launched. Oh! Baru teringat aku xsiapkan lagi vendorship punya terms and regulations.
And last but not least.
Until i have my very own boutique.
Yay!!!
Cant wait.
I already have few more design in mind. Design tudung.
Dah siap drafted nnt aku Lupa.
Plan for RTW next year still on! Few design in mind. Aku prefer something simple yet elegant and nice.
Actually aku ni Janis adore style2 lama.
Baju kebaya. Style salome and style back in zaman dinosaur. Haahah. Well sorry, weird tp why not kan
Design and style dulu2 mmg ever green tau,
Xdimakan dek zaman.
What i need to do is, enhance it a lil bit.
Make it look more modern and sesuai dengan manusia zaman la ni.

To all my friends yg keep supporting me non stop.
I'm glad Allah temukan aku dengan kawan2 cam u u guys

Aku still dlm phase belajar.
Slow. Sbb aku xdak experience.
Tp yg pasti aku ada minat!
Passion yang xberbelah bagi.

P/s: tak Sabar nk tgu hari yg aku xperlu nk spend apa2 kat rumah. Semuanya disediakan
Ya Allah murahkan la rezeki dan Rahmatmu kepada kami sekeluarga ya Allah. And tolong tetapkan iman aku Supaya aku ikhlas dan redha berbelanja utk kami sekeluarga.
Amin. Amin.

more and more surprises~

2016-10-19T00:09:00.001+08:00

well well well.
full of surprises
not the my kind of surprise pun.
saket jiwa adalah.

i have no idea why suddenly someone to sentap with me?
like what the ??
u asked for my money.
i have all the reason in the world la kan if i choose to give or not kan?
reason not excuses tau!

bukan aku xckp, settlekan dua2 kereta dulu if nk beli kereta baru ni kan?
i mean bukannya kereta tu nk basi pun kan?
kereta tu dah dok parking like yearsss xkan xboleh tgu few more months?

tapi kalut kan?
baru settled one.
then dah korek lubang sendiri kan?

then tiba2
surprise!!
actually i have to pay another few K by end of this year.
what????
u think money grow from tree it is?
u think i have all the money in this world to cater all your surprises ke?
OMG!!

i fedup!
i gave up!

the only perangai yg aku mmg totally cant tolerate anymore.
u can tell me all the reason in this world.
but NO
my answer still remained the same.
NO NO NO NO

xlarat la nk tolong pikiaq and settlekan problem org tau!
bila plak aku nk merasa org tolong settlekan problem aku.
huhu!
Ya Allah..
seriously.

then bila aku tya.
kenapa xckp awai2.
masa bayaq deposit aritu?

rahsia?sbb xmo aku bising?aku bebel?

come on!!!

hello aku ni berckp xpakai otak ke?
apa aku ckp xpernah betui ke?
aku ckp ikut emosi ke?

yes mmg aku stress!
duit deposit tu bley ja tolong settlekan duit hutang piutang kan..
tp NO!
i cant touch that money. not even asked tau.
fine!
fine!
i cant bare with this perangai anymore.

tapi tadik.
bila aku tgk dia nk pi keja. rushing sbb takut hujan.
ye la kereta semua dia antar ke alor staq.
and jgn lupa kereta yg dia beli tu bukan boleh naik pun.
roadtax bukan ada pun.
well?
ampa bitau la!
logik tak aku bising?
logik tak?

aku kesian tgk..
serious aku kesian.
hati kecik aku terdetik sgt nk offer antaqkan dia pi keja arini.
but NO!

walaupun aku kesian.
tp dia himself need to kesian kat diri dia.
dia xsepatutnya buat something yang menyusahkan dia kemudian hari kan?
and expect org lain to help him "ease" all the dificulties?
no no no

this is the main reason why i cant trust him with money.
no.
the answer still no.
dinginla seperti ais sekali pun.
i cant tolerate anymore

and its not the 1st time.
im tired.

i work hard to get back my "monthly" salaryy.
2 months baru half of the gaji aku dpt.
not even close to the number yg aku target lagi.

ntahla..aku frustrated dulu, frustrating sekarang. and aku doa supaya aku xperlu rasa frust lagi utk masa depan.
aku doa Allah murahkan rezeki dia
supaya dia dpt buat apa yg dia nak
supaya dia dpt beli apa yg dia nk beli

i'm fine, if aku xdak dlm list tuh.
im used to it already. that is the reason why i dont to depend on him on anything.
now aku forcing myself.
to let him settlekan few stuffs which i can settle on my own
i purposely said i dont know. aku xreti and i need him to this to that yada yada yada.

so since aku kesian. tadik
aku nmpak
seluaq dia komot
baju dia komot

sbb dia amek baju dr ampaian terus pakai.

terus aku rasa guilty!
sepatutnya aku make sure he looks good kan.
but no.
i failed.
so tonite. i ironed his baju and ironed his suaq. aku hang siap2 dlm cupboard. so he will easily find it tomorrow.

kalau ampa ckp aku pentingkan diri sendiri?
pikiaq balik.
what if ampa dlm situation aku.

apa ampa buat.
ni bukan issue sehari dua. bukan issue recently
its the same issue that i been absorbed for years.

tipu kalu aku xkesian.
aku kesian.
tp aku geram dengan perangai dia.
apa patut aku buat.
aku mmg slalu berdoa supaya Allah limpahkan rezeki dia. so dia rasa tenang dlm jiwa dia.
seriously.

his happiness is mine too.
its not like i want everything to end just like that.

i love him.
demi Allah.

i hope one day, maybe after i long gone. i can give this link to my blog and read all this.
yeah some of the post sgt merempan!
but hey. baca la post yg best2 jugak.
berlambak jugak.

even myself. reading all my previous posts from previous years.
aku nmpak kematangan dlm diri aku
aku nampak camna all this life-issues evolved me into new species.
ey new Aishah.
brand new.

straight forward.
direct to the point.
because i know
only Allah and diri aku sendiri tau diri aku camna
only Allah knows me best.

and all this dugaan from Allah.
aku redha and aku doa supaya Allah sentiasa berikan aku kekuatan utk hadap ni semua over and over again.
i dont mind doing this in looping. demi dia.
semoga one day.
dia akan sedaq.
and stop doing things repeatively kan.

and sebelum masa tu menjelma.
this is what im gonna do.
listen.smile.

as for now. i will keep myself talk to him
no matter how he want to sentap with me.
its not my problem anymore.

p/s: period due again. but test came out failed.
maybe not the right time yet. kan?
www.zadamalaika.com coming soon! my baby!

zadamalaika.com coming soon!

2016-10-15T23:36:00.000+08:00

am so freaking exited!
terjerit2 dalam kereta.
now masa utk brush up gambar and upload. make it nicely and proper.

omg!
secara tiba2 aku kena handle byk keja.
dr tukang jahit ke tukang bungkus barang semua.
ni terjadi graphic designer lagi!

i loveeee my new jobs now.
tp aku still lagi attending any walk in interviews
bukan apa.
i need fix income sebelum zada malaika betul2 well established.
but alhamdulilah
walaupun slow.
eventually akan sampai la tahap yg okay kan.
slow and steady!
chaiyok Aishah!

lets make ur dreams come true.
insya ALLah soon. zada malaika akan dikenali seluruh malaysia.

then januari can start with RTW project plak. target for next year raya!
wish me luck!
then i can totally retire from my engineering field.

i always wanted to retire at age of 32.
just nice tahun ni aku amek vss.
its not easy for me tau.
tp i really hope something will work well for me.

i missed online shopping
i missed sales!sales!

i want more money..
so that i can use that to contribute back to the community.

xmampu nk hire org keja lagi now.
so have to manage buat semua dengan dua tgn dua kaki.

p/s: what is so wrong dok jauh? its not our decission pun! sorry i can no longer tahan. now i speak up for myself. en cheff pun passive ja kan.

Rough~

2016-09-17T01:34:00.001+08:00

My rough year.

Jalan slowmo,rukuk slowmo,duduk and bangun pun slowmo.

Cried when i forced to stand up for an hour cleaning up all the dishes in sink.

Yes i cried.

No one knows.

Back then.my rough year.

Those memories make me stronger hokey!am glad who i become today.xmanja.xgedik and xmencapap(read:mencari publisiti)😜 Thanks kawan2 yg prihatin.

Walaupun status pass midnite pun still ada yg reply.😘😘😘

#amnotattentionseeker

P/s: row row my boat,gently down the stream.merrily merrily,life is but a dream

Mimpi pelik~

2016-09-13T09:27:00.001+08:00

Ni rasanya 1st time aku mimpi camni

Pelik

Aku mimpi bunuh org

Org yg selama ni membuli aku dan family aku.

Aku xtau dr mana aku dpt kekuatan nk bunuh dia.

Yg aku pasti.

Org tu besaq.

A guy.

Always been a bully lama dah.

And i dont know that guy.

Dalam mimpi tu aku nmpak.

Kawan2 yg prihatin dan sentiasa menyokong aku.

Family yg support aku.

En chef.

And aku nmpak family yg xbother lgsg pasai hal tu.

Yg xsupport aku.

Aku nmpak.

Ada yg aku kenal.

Ada yg aku xkenal

Ada yg aku xsure sapa tp rasa cam kenai lama.tp xtau sapa.

Ikhlas membantu aku,mencari solution utk aku~

Allahh.

Jauhkan diri ku dan semua ahli family aku dr anasir2 yg tak baik ya Allah.

P/s: tp dlm mimpi tu aku rasa puas sbb bunuh mamat tuh.so segala pembulian or segala bad things dia buat terus stop.

Aku lgsg xrasa salah.lgsg x.

Zada Malaika~

2016-08-13T19:13:00.001+08:00

Matila!

Target 50pcs br siap 20pcs ja!

Jiwa jiwa jiwa!

P/s: but am having alot of fun doing this!

I dont need people to plan for my life~

2016-08-09T12:24:00.001+08:00

I hate when people is taking advantage of my "quietness" about something.

Here is some fact about myself.

Diam its never okay!

If am okay i will easily get excited and carried away with that idea.

Faham?

P/s: rasa cam nk gave up gila dengan ampa tau dak!

One after another~

2016-08-06T08:32:00.001+08:00

Am sorry.

Decided.

My dreams matter.

I understand if some/all people dont understand.its okay.

My dreams matter.

P/s: sorry not now.i have plan on my own. I dont need people to "plan" for my life. Thanks you so much.

Qaseh nanges?no she is not.

2016-08-01T00:58:00.001+08:00

Qaseh tidoq awai tonight,before 9pm.

Such a relieved tau bila anak dara tu dah tidoq nak xnak esok school kan~

Then at 12am daddy came home. Then he asked to sew his pouch bag.dah tercabut katanya.

Since i have saloma kan.so senang je la kan~

I helped him to jahit.

Then half way tu,dengaq Qaseh cried.

I asked him to go check la kan.

I told him ey Qaseh cry,tolong tengookan,

Then dia laju2 ckp ey xla bukan Qaseh tuh.

Then xsmpi 5 min pintu bilik terbukak and kuaqla seketoi Qaseh disitu!

Ser told u.

Mak mak punya deria telinga ni sgt alert dengan bunyi anak.

Tgh tidoq pun bley bgn sbb anak batuk tau..

Next time,dengaq ckp bini.

Oh.on the 2017 plan kan.

I already decided a name for my boutique.

zada malaika nama yg di decided.

Means bidadari yg menguntungkan 😁

Well,nama biz yg elok tu penting.doa tau org dok sebut2 nnt.

Here is teaser on ZW logo~

Colors will be changed.

Something yg aku nk sgt buat since forever.

Now aku kena usaha lebih ckit nk establish name of my very own products.

Nntkann keluaran ZW di pasaran.

P/s: aiming for early 2017 launching.

My bye bye email~

2016-06-29T13:53:00.001+08:00

Since monday im officially jobless.

I been reading my bye email over and over again.

Its not east to get over this one!

So i decided to keep myself busy.so that i wont be thinking much about being jobless at this time!

So here we go!

Project kuih raya!

Isnin semangat pu beli mixer semata2 nk buat kuih raya!

Managed to bake this 2 cookies.yesterday i baked samperit susu and today choc chips cookies!

Then rehat sat.tgu abg posmen mai antaq brg!

Lepas raya.nk pi beli mesin jahit plak!

Nk menjahit plak.keep myself busy!

Kunun nk bgn tidoq lmbt sbb xkeja kan?xdak harapan by 9am aku dah start baking! Xleh la tidoq lama2.😻

P/s: am okay and am happy!

Losing weight again~

2016-06-18T22:09:00.001+08:00

Seminggu lepas bukak posa ja confirm muntah.

Mkn ja muntah balik.

Xlalu nk mkn apa pun.

Maybe sbb masih kecik ati kot!

Huhuhu~

Tabahla wahai ati~

P/s: susah ke nk ckp sorry?ssh?