As Vinny C's It

A Day At The Beach.

2012-02-23T12:01:00.000-04:00

I wrote two whole posts today! The first is at Sprocket Ink. You know the drill. SI Badge on the right: Click it to go straight to that post. Next is a post I wrote about a story assignment The Paper sent me on yesterday. To. the. beach! They make it hard to hate them sometimes.

********

The road to Maracas Bay isn't for the faint of stomach. It's a series of seemingly endless hairpin turns that wind along the mountainous north coast. On one side, the heavily forested Northern Range towers above while on the other, it continues its steep drop to the ocean.

This was my mission yesterday. A trip to Maracas to scope out the scene at what has become a tradition here in T&T. Every Ash Wednesday, the masses flock here the cool down after the two days of Carnival craziness. Sometimes I love this job.

But this wasn't the usual Ash Wednesday post-Carnival beach escape. Noticeably absent were the infamous long lines of vehicles snaking in and out of the beach. My new photographer (lost the other one on the Carnival Tuesday assignment and haven't seen him since) and I got there in no time at all.

As always, I was captivated by the pristine beauty of one of the island's most popular beaches.

How the Northern Range embraces it on both sides.

The powerful waves crashing that just seem to beg you to dive in.

Paradise!

There were a few reasons for the lack of crowds that morning. The weather was overcast that morning so many would have wanted to see if the day was suited for the beach. Others were wary because someone spread a rumor of a police shootout in the area. The weather cleared up very early with no signs of rain from there on in and police patrolling the said the shootout rumor was false, so everyone was expecting a huge influx to appear just after lunchtime.

That gave me and my photographer time to relax talk to who was already out there and, of course, take some pictures.

We came across a group who had built a sand pyramid.

They made other... things too.

What do you think? Too much to drink, or too little?

Needless to say, there are big booties, there are guys trying to get behind it.

Admiring his handiwork

I wasn't going to edit any more faces but I know this guy.

He really got into it.

Still, you just can't get over that view.

The lovely, lovely view.

Yeah, just so you know, the next few are girls in bikinis pics.

Okay! Okay! Ladies, something for you too.

Sorry, America, but we're not giving her back.

It was around this time I considered a career change.

You mean they get paid to look at this all day, EVERY DAY?!

Soon it was time for lunch.

Any Trini will tell you that when you visit Maracas beach, you have the Bake and Shark, so, of course, that's what we were after. "Richard's" is the man to go to. Sure, he has the longest lines, but that because he has the best bake and shark on the beach. Being in the media, he let us skip the line. I love this job.

Actually there are two lines. There's one to get your sandwich which moves pretty fast. After you get it, however, there's a second line to choose from his wide assortment of condiments.

Forget how some of them look. They're ALL awesome!

I was going to snap a picture to show you what it looks like... but I ate it.

Urp!

So I bought another one! YAY!

Believe me. A lot of sharks died a worthy death to make this happen.

That's around the time Mrs. C texted to see how things were going.

Trini Talk: Stueps (alternate: Steups) - A sound made by sucking one's teeth to express anger, disappointment, frustration or (in this case) jealousy.

I typed up my article on the car ride back, handed it in and headed home. I finished my day tired and tanned but with a distinct sense of accomplishment after my grueling 5½ hour assignment.

I Survived Carnival 2012! And All I Got Was Partial Hearing Loss.

2012-02-22T05:13:00.003-04:00

As I've said before, Carnival here in T&T isn't my thing. Unfortunately, it's a big deal to mostly everyone else so, in the media, it's "all hands on deck!" whether you like it or not.

Monday at 4 am was the official start to things with J'Ouvert. And, wouldn't you know it? I was lucky enough to get that shift. So, leaving my warm bed and loving wife at 2:30 that morning, I journeyed to St. James to spend the next 5 hours watching the seemingly endless masses of people dance in the streets covered in body paint and/or mud and/or chocolate (new this year). Since my phone doesn't do nighttime pictures well I waited until there was some light in the sky to snap a photo.

Nope, not blood. Just paint.

But that's not all. Carnival's main celebrations last two days. So that means, of course, I was out again yesterday. Yesterday was the BIG show: The "Parade of the Bands"! This is when masqueraders are out on the streets in full costume following the incredibly loud, incredibly large Music Trucks.

Yes, those are a shitload of speakers.

As you can guess those things are really loud. Where I was assignred I had to stand about 20 feet from where they set up and, even with ear plugs, I still haven't gotten my full hearing back yet.

There were some interesting displays, though.

Gaaahh!!! Mantisra's attacking!

But that's not all. Do you believe that through it all I had to put up with being surrounded by sights like this all day:

I know! Right? Can you imagine? They're called "revellers" and they were everywhere!

You don't want to meet up with them unprepared. They are quite apt at performing the traditional Carnival dance known as "wining", which I believe translates to "impossibly loose waistlines that can rotate in any direction". The female reveller is especially ravenous and looking for any posterior to throw their own posteriors against to"wine" against.

The guy in the hat is my photographer for this assignment.

The average female reveller will wine on anything: Male revellers (preferably), police officers, street signs, onlookers, other female revellers, nothing and no one is out of bounds. Here's a brief clip of them in action (I suggest keeping the volume low. Plus, all the bass from the truck did a number on the sound quality):

One time during the day, I was getting a quote from a spectator and the next thing I know I was totally surrounded by them. Luckily, I managed to get back to the barrier before any gyrating waistlines got me. I was so scared.

I still don't know if my photographer made it out okay. He never came back to the office. Too bad. I liked him.

Today the paper are sending me to the Maracas beach to cover the after-Carnival cooldown concert. It's the most popular spot for revellers to go to continue wearing bikinis and partying for one more day.

Those bastards!

Going Off The Deep End.

2012-02-21T11:11:00.000-04:00

Less than two weeks ago, I wrote on Sprocket Ink about the Japanese spring penis and vagina festivals, Now, today, it's revolutionary porn from Hong Kong. Anyone else see a disturbing trend developing here?

Click on the SI badge to the right and join me on my downward spiral, won't you?

The Adventures Continue.

2012-02-17T22:19:00.001-04:00

Wow! I haven't posted all week. Well... here anyway. Hope you guys have been keeping up with me on Sprocket Ink. You know? That place where I post, not once, but twice every week. You do remembered that, right?

We'll discuss this later.

Anyway, moving right along, My absence is due to the fact that I've been really busy. While I have my issues with The Paper, I must admit, I still love the job. Right now, the people of T&T are gearing up for our biggest annual celebration, Carnival. The fact that it's such a huge event here means the media is burning the midnight oil to cover all the events associated with these holidays.

Parties have been going on for the past few weeks but the real deal, the two days of half naked street parades are next Monday and Tuesday, so things are really heating up this weekend.

Now, I said last year around this time that Carnival isn't my thing. Mostly because never really saw the point of it. A lot of people here wouldn't agree with that. They see it as part of local culture. It's one of the most famous events in the world and something we as a nation should be proud of and all that What can I say? I never was a party person, to be honest.

This is where my being a Christian helps. The whole concept of revelry and drunken debauchery is frowned upon in the Christian faith. Now while I won't jump on my moral high-horse about the evils of this season, I must admit, I kinda see the argument...

Eep! I think it sees me.

So once I say that Carnival doesn't interest me, the first thing I usually hear is, "Oh... Are you a Christian?" I say yes and the discussion usually ends there.

But, my religious beliefs don't save me from having to work covering Carnival events on those two days next week I'd normally be home resting any other year. As well as the events leading up to them. Like today.

Today I covered a children's Carnival parade focusing on the traditional characters that were among the first Carnival characters portrayed in T&T's early history. While I still don't get it, I have to admit, they really are creative. Take the Moko Jumbies, for instance.

These kids walk (and dance) on stilts with no trouble at all. Better than most people walk and dance on their own feet.

Then there's this group of Dame Lorraines.

In case you're wondering, yes they are fake... and children! Shame on you!

They did a choreographed traditional dance routine (Sorry, couldn't start taping before it ended).

While I was out covering the story, it started to rain so I went into the nearby Woodford Square. There I managed to capture what we call a "Rhythm Section" on video, doing there thing.

We are a creative bunch over here, aren't we? All the same, don't expect me to be crossing over to the dark side as a result of all this. They'll have to try a lot harder.

Did I mention the grown-up version next week will have half-naked women prancing about everywhere? Most of whom have been hitting the gym for months to look right in their skimpy costumes?

Anyway, I'm covering some of the main events on Monday and Tuesday too so you can probably expect more pics and videos.

Weekend Wrap-Up: The Changing Focus.

2012-02-11T20:31:00.001-04:00

Bet you thought it would be another 3 months before I did this again, huh? Well, I did create a whole new graphic and everything so I just have to try to put it in circulation from time to time.

So what's been going on with me? Glad you asked!

On Tuesday I announced my new role on Sprocket Ink as Japanese Bikini Model correspondent... At least, I think that's my new title...

Then on Wednesday I shared the truth about was really going on at my new place of employment, The Paper. And it's not good! Thing is I really love the journalist gig but sometimes, as they say, love just ain't enough. I'm torn but I feel a decision needs to be made soon.

Then it was Mrs. C's turn to entertain you in her debut appearance in my stick-toon fantasy world on Thursday. As you can see she can even make killing a cockroach entertaining.

On Tuesday I revealed a startling secret that could shift the world's balance of power if it's left unchecked. IRAN HAS NINJAS!!! I'd say not to panic, but the truth is you should panic. Oh, you should.

Thursday's post was-well-even I'm having a hard time explaining this one. Just make sure the kids/parents/bible study group/pets/cops aren't in the room when you go read this one. You may want to close the curtains too.

I know! Right? Now you just *have* to go check it out. But remember, I did try to warn you.

One last thing. Mrs. C has finally caved in to the call of the web and set up a twitter account. It's actually part of a bigger project she's working on but I've been sworn to secrecy on most of it. But rest assured, once the gag-order is removed, you'll be the first to know. In the meantime feel ~~obligated~~ free to show her some love on the twitterverse. Now, I'm not saying I may be rewarded in sexual favors for each new follower she gets, but on the off chance that I will be, you'd actually be helping a brother out.

Just sayin'.

Mrs. C Vs. Nature.

2012-02-09T20:00:00.000-04:00

[UPDATE: Forgot to mention that I have a new post up at Sprocket Ink. Just click on the badge to the right.]

Probationary Review

2012-02-08T07:43:00.000-04:00

To: The Paper,

As you well know, the end of January 2012 marked the completion of the three-month probationary period as established at the commencement of our contract which commenced in November 2011.

Let me start by saying that I fully appreciate the benefit our business relationship has afforded me in being able to operate in my field of choice, and I am certain you can agree to the mutually beneficial nature of our partnership as I, being a beginner in this field, have still been able to produce articles that have required little-to-no editing on your part.

However, during the past three months I have observed some disturbing performance and behavioral issues on your part which I feel need to be addressed should our relationship as employer and employee be able to continue.

First, I'm sure you will agree that honesty is essential for any relationship to be able to function effectively. Which is why I am a bit disappointed that, after making a point of mentioning my being in the process of furthering my education during both our initial interviews, and your assurance that I would not have to sacrifice that pursuit, that I have already received what amounts to a veiled threat that I "may have to decide if either my job or my studies are more important". It would have been better that you highlighted this being an issue during any one of our two interviews. That way, we could have amicably gone our separate ways with no ill will. Your decision to withhold this information amounts to no less than deceit on your part and I find this most distasteful.

Your overall attitude in the workplace is also something of considerable concern. I understand that the crumbling of several economic systems in recent years has placed much of the power in the hands of the employer and currently many of you are basking in this power, but that does not warrant the type of behavior you have exhibited as an employer. This goes especially to your editors and management staff. Please be advised that your blatant abuse of office politics, intimidation and the belittling of staff is counterproductive and does not foster an amicable working environment.

All of this it why I have little choice but to rate your performance as an employer as "UNSATISFACTORY" and I require some immediate improvement on your part. Please take note that over the coming weeks I shall be reviewing the terms of our arrangement and should I conclude these issues prove insoluble, I will have no choice but to consider the commencement of interviews to find your replacement.

Regards,

Vinny C

Employee

The Change-Up.

2012-02-07T11:30:00.000-04:00

Things are changing up a bit on Sprocket Ink. I've been re-positioned into the role of "Asian Beauty Correspondent" (we're still working on the titles).

Essentially, what that means is that I'm going into the specialized field of all things Japan and all things women. Not that that'll be all I post on, but that's going to be mine. I own it!

This actually works out pretty well for me. I can focus my searches giving me more time to do other things. Plus, this way when Mrs. C sees me looking up pictures om Megumi Kagurazaka,

source

I can tell her it's research for my next post.

She'll believe that, right?

I start off today with a post about female ninjas in Iran that I just happened to stumble upon (it's like the interwebz is speaking to me).

So, you know what to do. Just click on my Sprocket Ink badge to the right and go have yourselves some fun.

A Case Of Murder Most Fowl.

2012-02-03T08:36:00.000-04:00

This is overdue.

Remember back in December when I posted about my little issue with trying to get banana leaves for my wife's pastelle recipe? Probably not. But anyway, to summarize, a dove decided to nest in the banana bunch growing on the tree and I had to figure out how to get them without disturbing the nest.

Well, I did. I got the leaves and was careful enough to not only leave the nest intact, but the mother, who was somewhat skittish, remained calm enough to just sit on her chicks and eye me cautiously. What can say? I gots mad skillz.

So we got the pastelles made:

I was supposed to take a picture of it whole but I couldn't help myself.

We even managed to get it done pretty early, since we weren't doing any sale orders this year. As I mentioned, we've lost entire nights of sleep making hundreds of these.

About two days later I went to the backyard to check on the new family in the bananas. That when I stumbled upon the scene.

The nest was on the ground and there were down feathers everywhere. You'll thank me for not taking pics this time. But, needless to say I wasn't happy with the situation. Neither was Mrs. C when I told her.

Who could have done this? My first guess was "Holy crap! SOMETHING ATE THEM!!!"

We have a lot of other creatures living in the area like the Zandoli, a lizard that scurries all over the place around here. They can grow as long as two feet, I've heard.

I had to chase this one from my mothers living room the other day.

But I found out they only eat insects so I ruled them out.

My main suspects became one of the neighbors. All the banana trees were mutilated and most of the leaves were hacked off for most likely the same reason I took some. We take our pastelles seriously here in T&T.

I may never find out who is responsible.

I know. This news sucks but I still felt I should share it

Just Where Have You Been All Week... I Mean All Month... Or Is It 3 Months?

2012-01-29T17:39:00.001-04:00

Just before I started with The Paper I stopped doing my weekly wrap-up posts. What can I say? I've had an eventful past few months.

First off, say goodbye to this toon. I've decided to give my wrap-ups an intro graphic like most of my other posts. So... introducing my new weekly wrap-up graphic!

I said "new" not necessarily "improved".

Now, on to the recap. I've decided to spare you the details of the last 3 months or so of stuff that have been going on. Long story short, crappy internet, new job, Christmas, New Year great blog friends encouraging me along the way and so on.

Now that we're all up to date I'll recap what I've been up to in the past week. Let's start with my activities here:

- Things have been pretty quite this week. Mostly that's because, as I said in Tuesday, my internet is being ~~an asshole~~ troublesome again. It started working again today. Mostly! Really slow connection but at least I can connect.

- Not to be deterred, I've been making extensive use of Blogger's post email feature. That's how I was able to post about one of my ~~paranoid delusions~~ suspicions I have from time to time.

A lack of internet did not stop me from posting on Sprocket Ink:

- On Tuesday we looked into a study revealing a male preoccupation with sex and violence. No shit! Really?

- Thursday I had fun with puns as I wrote about how one German city is dealing with its economic problems. The word "Robopimp" is used... And it actually makes sense.

And that's what I've been up to this past week. Hopefully, I'll be able to keep this consistent from now on. If not... well... then I guess I won't.

Don't you just love the whole "my blog my rules" thing?

Paranoid Activity.

2012-01-27T12:47:00.001-04:00

10:00AM

Editor A: Vinny, Curly called in sick. Want to cover court proceedings?

Me: I don't mind, but someone was supposed to go with me & show me around. Plus, I have an assignment for 11.

Editor A: Oh. We'll see what Editor C can do.

Editor C: Curly called from home already and found out there was nothing important going on in court today.

Editor A: Oh... Well go anyway, Vinny. Just walk and get the layout. You know! Talk to people 'n stuff. You can leave when you have to go to your 11 o'clock.

Me: Um... Ooookay...

While most people would have used this opportunity to go pay a bill or take care of some other errand, I am plagued by...

- Secret Paranoid Suspicion# 23: My employers, past and present, have me under surveillance. They track my every move. -

So, as a result, I spent the 45 minutes that followed that conversation wandering the halls of the courthouse like an idiot.

Since my phone is probably bugged as well, they're probably reading this post I'm typing up on it too.

All of this is normal. Right?

My Internet's Down Again.

2012-01-24T12:19:00.000-04:00

The management of AVCI regrets to inform you that we are currently experiencing technical difficulties at this time. We apologize for any inconvenience you may be suffered as a result if this but circumstances remain beyond our control at this time.

We know this severely diminishes your blogging experience and as a result of this, management has taken the decision to provide a full refund. This can be redeemed at the following location:

Click Here.

Insert Funny Here: Part 2

2012-01-19T19:04:00.001-04:00

Just like the last time, I'll let you do the talking...

After you're done, you can head on over to my post on Sprocket Ink.

Annnnnnd go!

My Real Friends.

2012-01-17T22:34:00.000-04:00

Yes, I do have a new post over at Sprocket Ink today. But there's something else I have to say before I send you over.

Ever since I've started blogging, I've witnessed another side of people that I rarely see displayed in the RL. Bloggers have a way of forming connections with each other that bridge even the furthest distances. I've seen people form real friendships with people they've never met face to face and, no, that isn't pathetic.

Despite what someone who isn't a part of this world may think, bloggers aren't just geeks hiding from the real world in front of their computers. Almost all of the bloggers I've met since I first started are real people with real lives, most of whom have done way cooler things than I ever have. Only they're not afraid to share their lives and innermost thoughts with others.

Because of all of the talent and sheer awesomeness I come across every time I open my reader, it's safe to say that you guys intimidate me. I mean that. I'm proud to call myself a blogger.

Why am I gushing on and on like this? Well it's because that blogging kindness I just mentioned has struck again. Only this time, a lot closer to home.

When I first started blogging, one of the first people to hit the "Follow" button was a blogger called Nubian. Since then, she has always been there with a witty comment or an encouraging email. You could say, she's been one of my primary enablers.

Well, it seems she's taken it a step further because on day she sent me a message asking for my address. I knew what was coming after that.

I'll be honest. I try to avoid letting people send me stuff since I live all the way in the Caribbean and I don't want to put anyone through that expense. But, she wanted to send me a Christmas gift and I know her well enough to know that I couldn't refuse.

After some logistical issues with the post office (Read as: They gave the term "snail mail" new meaning) which, in turn, almost made her go postal on the postal workers, Nubian's gift finally arrived today (I guess by postal service standards, January 17 is close enough to Christmas).

Anyway... Behold! The package!

FYI, Not the first time I've said that. Even though it was under different circumstances then.

And here's what came inside.

I know! Awesome, right?!

This is for Mrs. C and her grandma, Evie.

But the rest... MINE!!! ALL MINE! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

Ahem...

First, we have this:

Yes, KA-POW! It's like a chocolate bar only, not. They don't waste time with weak-assed chocolate in this stuff. What we're talkin' here is pure coffee, baby!

And next: I always said I wanted a bigger coffee mug. Now I've got one.

This baby's only available in London. SWEET!

As you can see, despite battling two different postal services and customs, it arrived unharmed. That's a Christmas by itself is a miracle if there ever was one.

Of course, to go with my new mug, I have some new coffee.

They make a cute couple. Don't you agree?

I'd have some now, but I've already had a block of the Ka-pow! and think the combination might make my head explode. It's that potent.

Last, but certainly nowhere near least is this lovely little card.

I won't share too much of what's inside. Let's just say, we accept your offer and can be all packed in an hour. *wink*

So, I'll say thanks once again to you, Nubian. You're more than just a longtime follower in my book. You're a real friend.

Okay... *sniffles* You guys go to Sprocket now before I hug someone.

[UPDATE: I've just been handed new information (new to me, that is) that Nubian's blog is no longer private. As such a link has been added. Carry on.]

It's The Little Things

2012-01-15T22:14:00.002-04:00

I was in the supermarket the other evening. I was in a particularly bad mood too. I won't bother to go into specifics but let's just say my mood was the end result of minor crappy events that I just let get to me.

I decided to pass by the bakery section to see what they could offer in the way of comfort food.

source

As I checked the display case, I began to notice the woman next to me who was already there choosing from the pastries on display.

There wasn't anything particularly special about her. She looked in her late 40's to early 50's, her clothes were simple: a cream coloured skirt and matching flowery blouse. Her hair was short and brown she had on a pair of thin-framed glasses.

Nothing special about her at all.

"I'll take two currant rolls," she said

The clerk behind the counter grabbed a pair of tongs and reached into the case.

"Wait, I'll take the one on top and that one in the front row in the middle... please."

"Oh boy!" I thought, "One of those. The kind who just had to pick out the specific piece of whatever it was they wanted. I know it was just my bad mood talking but at that particular moment, nothing could irritate me more. Excuse me while I fight back an eye-roll."

"Oh!" she continued, "I'll have a piece of cake too. The one closest to me. Second from the left."

She pointed out the piece she wanted. The clerk behind the counter fished it out for her while I resisted the urge to let out an exasperated sigh.

Then the strangest thing happened. As the clerk bagged her goodies up, the woman who I had now dubbed "Pastry Lady" smiled, clapped her hands excitedly in front of her face and bobbed up and down. Then, as though she just noticed I was standing there, she turned to me. And her smiled broadened as she continued her bobbing and clapping. She wasn't embarrassed. She wasn't phased in the least.

And I smiled back.

Not in a patronizing, "Yay for you, crazy cake-lady!" kind of way. No... For that one brief moment, that woman's... glee infected me. Whatever stresses she faced in life, whatever cares she had, for that one instant took a back seat and she was able to truly appreciate this one small victory as if nothing else mattered. And neither did mine. Not anymore.

Then I remembered a quote by Emerson that one of my good friends on the blogosphere, Kelly, used in a post she did recently:

- “For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”

Seems so simple, but it's true. I thought about all the little things I'd let pile up into one big ball of glum inside me and realized that they were just that. Little things. Each, by themselves, nothing. I gave them the power that they had over me.

After her pastries were bagged up, Pastry Lady turned back to the clerk, took the bags, smiled some more and thanked her as she left. I left too. I didn't bother to buy anything. Strangely, I didn't feel the need for "comfort food" anymore.

This stranger I encountered reminded me that as much as little things can bring us down, they can also serve to brighten our day as well.

People surprise me sometimes.

Conversations With Mrs. C - The Day Off.

2012-01-12T17:03:00.000-04:00

The end of last week:

Me: I have to work on Sunday.

Mrs. C: That sucks.

Me: Yeah. But they have to give me a day off in the week in exchange. So I'm home on Thursday so I can get to-

Mrs. C: Really?! Awesome! I didn't say anything but I'm going on vacation next week! So I'll be home too!

Me: Wow... that's... that's great...

Mrs. C: I know! Right?! Ooh! Ooh! Know what? We can spend the entire day together! We can go to the movies, maybe can grab something to eat after. Won't that be awesome?!

Me: Um... Yeah... I guess...

Mrs. C: And since we're both home on Thursday we can get a jump on this weekend's housework and probably do the laundry and go get the groceries and then I need to run to the bank and deposit Evie's pension cheque and not to mention I have to cook so you'll be helping me with that too and while we're at it you're due for another haircut and you could totally get that done on Thursday so we can free things up on Saturday because we have that thing with my sister but now that I think about it that sounds like a lot so we'll probably have to forget going to the movies and do it some other time and we'll probably have to get up early to make sure we get everything done and then we'll have to...

Me: ...Uhhhhh...

********

Quick! Before she comes back. Go see what I did on Sprocket Ink today. K' bye.

What They Fail To Teach Us.

2012-01-11T05:38:00.003-04:00

Being an adult is hard. They don't make this clear enough when you're growing up.

As a child you're all like, "When I grow up, I'll make all the money and buy all the junk food I want! And you can't stop me!"

We assume our parents’ response to this (or rather, lack thereof) is because we're right and they really won't be able to stop us from the inevitable freedom that would one day come with becoming a grown-up. We assume this and we're wrong. What we fail to realize is that our parents are silently choking back riotous guffaws that our naïve little declarations have earned.

What we don’t know, as children growing up, is that money isn’t simply handed to you or earned from doing simple chores around the house. You have to go to work to get that money. And this place called “work” isn’t some place where adults go to have unsupervised play time with their friends all day. No way!

What they don't tell us is that going to work is a just like to school. Only much, much worse. You still have cool kids, popular kids, mean kids, geeks, nerds and losers. Only everybody's older and more bitter. Probably from finding out that there's no recess anymore. Of course, bullies are there too. Only now they’re your bosses.

Then when you do earn your money from “work”, you have to pay bills and loans and the like. By the time you’re done with that there isn’t enough left over for “all the junk food you want” anymore. Even if you could still buy your heart’s content in junk food, you no longer have the metabolism you once did and it most likely kill you very quickly. So forget that plan.

Another thing they don’t really clue you in on is that you now have to handle a ton of responsibilities. These include the aforementioned bills, loans and other financial commitments as well as household responsibilities.

Such is the case with the recent adventures in the C household which began with a flooded bathroom and ended in three hours of sleep and a lifetime of memories.

It all began with a strange noise. We had just settled into bed. I was tired because of that place called “work” I mentioned earlier. I had just drifted off into a very welcome slumber when Mrs. C asks, “What is that noise?”

Me (¼ asleep): Sounds like the pipes rattling (really old plumbing)

Mrs. C: Don’t you think you should check?

Me: Not our problem. It sounds like it’s coming from outside.

Mrs. C: You sure?

Me: Yeah...

Soon, however, Mrs. C's grandma, Evie, is knocking on our door.

Evie: There's a loud noise coming from the toilet.

Me: GROAN!!!

Mrs. C: Just go check!

I go over to the bathroom. Surely enough the pipes running to the tank are groaning and rattling like nobody's business. I adjust the water flow and it stops. Success! I head back to bed.

Mrs. C: Not our problem, huh?

Me: Yeah... yeah...

I couldn't be bothered with trying to explain myself. Sweet slumber awaited. In my defense, it really did sound like it was coming from outside. I was ¼ way asleep anyway. She should have known better than to trust my judgement at that point. Besides, I fixed the problem. No harm, no foul. Right?

Wrong! So very wrong. A few minutes later, Evie, was knocking again.

Evie: Vinny? It won't stop running.

Me (½ asleep this time): Huh..? Wha..?

This time, Mrs. C got up to check instead. Not long after that

Mrs. C: VINNNYYY!!!

I jumped out of bed and rushed toward the direction of the bathroom. There, Mrs. C stands almost ankle deep in water. She doesn't look happy.

In fact, she looks downright pissed.

I shut the water off.

Mrs. C: Get the mop and bucket.

Me: *GROAN!!!*

Mrs. C: What?

Me: Nothing. *mutters (quietly)*

Half an hour later, we finished cleaning up and I open the lid of the toilet tank and find the culprit. My sleep deprivation tonight is the result of a broken fitting I don't even know the name of... Nor do I care to. I'm moderately handy around the house, but this is above my pay grade. Even if could figure it out, it's almost two in the morning and hardware stores are closed, needless to say. This one, I decide to leave to the plumber to sort out later.

********

This is just one example of how our parents fail to prepare us for life as an adult. I'm sure I would have taken my time and enjoyed my childhood a bit more if my dad had pulled me aside one day and said, "Son, one day, when you grow up, you could actually be standing ankle deep in toilet water. And it will be your job to fix this. You can't call on me when this happens. You won't be able to go back to bed after the initial excitement is over and leave the adults to fix it. Because, then, you'll be the adult. It's all going to be up to you then."

IF I knew this would have cherished my childhood a whole lot more. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go get ready for "work".

The Scariest Headlines I've Ever Read.

2012-01-03T16:57:00.000-04:00

I know I said I wouldn't do a pseudo-post again but I have to let you all know that Sprocket Ink's back from vacation and we're hitting the ground running. I've got a brand spanking new post up there so just click in my SI badge to the right (which I somehow doubt you'll be able to miss). Two words: Japanese. toilets.

Totally!

Actually, I wouldn't really call this one a pseudo-post since I'm still writing beyond that last paragraph. I submit then that this does not, in fact count as a pseudo-post and I have, in fact, kept my word.

Uh-uh-uh! No arguing. I already said it.

Anyway, as you've may have guessed, I read the news sometimes. But recently I've come across some very disturbing real story headlines that made me cringe before I even read the the actual stories.

I'll list some of them for you. Keep in mind these are the actual headlines from actual news sites:

- Man Dies After Eating Cocaine Hidden In Brother's Butt

- Hiroyuki Joho, Man Killed By Train, Sued After His Flying Body Parts Injured Woman

- Sex Assault on Chihuahua Gets Ex-Convict 10 Years

And my personal-um-favorite(?)

- Patient Allegedly Had Penis Eaten Off By Rats

RATS!!!

*crosses legs and puts hands in lap nervously*

Okay, so now that I've thoroughly traumatized most, if not all of you. Head on over to Sprocket and read about weird toilet obsessions.

If I Ruled The World (Imagine That).

2012-01-03T14:09:00.000-04:00

Say what you will, the world's a pretty messed up place. Don't ask me why but everything just seems really screwed up as far as this planet goes.

Why? If you ask me, one of the main reasons is that the wrong people are in charge. Seriously! How did we end up putting some of these jokers at the helm? It's obvious the lunatics are running the asylum and they've locked all us sane people up in the cells. And there seems to be nothing we can do about it.

Until now.

All that's about about to change for, BEHOLD, I have been bequeathed yon Overlord Award!

This honor hath been bestowed upon me by Shirley of Shirley Ewe Must Be Joking. A fine lass indeed who doth weildeth a mighty blog and doth attacketh with her razor-sharp humor and wit. She also doth apparently longeth to one day defecate rare and precious gems. Indeed. A worthy aspiration if ever there was. Follow the link and be awed by her sheer awesomeness.

Okay, I'll stop now.

Yeah, so I think I was saying somewhere in that mess that I won me an award. This award means that, basically, I rule. I am overlord! Commander of all I survey. Bow down before, mere mortals!

Bwahahahahaha!!!

This award also comes with rules. Wait! I've just been crowned overlord and I have to follow rules? Well, okay then. But only because it pleases me to do so.

Bwaha... ha?

Now, most of the time when an award asks for me to list something, I sit and agonize for days (sometimes weeks) trying to come up with the right respnoses. However, for this one, it just so happens that I already have them prepared.

*takes stack of post-its out of back pocket*

What? Doesn't everyone keep a "If I ruled the world one day" to-do list with them? You should.

Unfortunately, I can only list three things so I'll give you my top three:

- All of the negative propaganda about coffee ends now. Enough is enough, people! Know that this may or may not involve nay-sayers ending up in the middle of town in stocks, Dark-Ages-style.

- My war with my unyielding foe, the Grackle, will finally be at an end as I defeat the vicious birds. Fear not though, for I will not destroy the creatures. Instead, I will subjugate them and use their skills. They will become my personal army. Put your assets to their best use, I always say.

I live to serve, master.

- As Overlord of the world I would require a base of command to rule from. For this I choose the country of Japan. Though much of the world shall be changed as my Grackle army raids the lands and peck the heads of my enemies, I shall leave the people and culture of Japan untouched, for they perfect. It is from there that I shall rule as ninja cat-girls serve me sake.

Also, as Overlord I am also expected to bestow this honor upon others. I'm not sure why I'd be expected to share my power. The only reason I can think of is that I will need to have worthy rivals to battle against so I can keep my skills honed. Either that or I'll need other overlords to send friend requests to.

I hear it's lonely at the top.

The following I have chosen definitely are deserving of that honor. Mostly because they already rule.

Thank Q
Cynicism 101
My Own Private Idaho
Pickleope
Sex Sequins & Sociopaths

With that my position as overlord had been cemented. I'm off to look at some Japanese real estate. They say Tokyo's nice this time of year.

Insert Funny Here.

2011-12-30T09:40:00.000-04:00

I saw this in a local newspaper last week. Just to get it out of the way, yes, they were being sold as food. No, I’ve never had the (dis)pleasure.

source

UGH!

But still, grim fate of these reptiles aside, the picture is funny. There are so many things I could say about this picture. But I prefer to let you guys have a go at it.

Think of it as a caption game.

Feel free to play along.

Adventures In Journalism.

2011-12-26T09:41:00.000-04:00

I'll say one thing. This job is a real adventure. On any given day, you never know where you'll end up. The other day, I got to go on one of these.

Cool, right?

Then, that same evening I was at a fancy Christmas party for the local architects' association. And of all the people I'd run into there, I met my former ~~nemeses~~ employers, (former) Bossman and (former) Bosslady.

(former) Bosslady played it cool, but (former) Bossman was a little surprised to see me there. I took the high road and refrained from my whole "BOOYAH!!! In your face, motherf*cker!" routine I'd always fantasized about. For good measure I interviewed him too.

Then, earlier this week, I had to go look at a landslide on the north coast heading toward Maracas Bay. I hadn't been in that area in a really long time. When you spend all your time in the mostly built-up areas, you forget just how tropical the tropical island you live on really is.

Then you spend an hour and a half travelling through this.

And you say, "Oh... right..."

It may look scary but it's actually really peaceful and scenic. Actually the photographer who was driving called this stretch the "scenic route". I was so caught up with the view at times I ended up sticking my phone out the photographer's car and snapping pictures like a tourist. In the end we wound up here:

I think I hear dueling banjos. No, wait! This is Trinidad. Maybe dueling steel-pans?

It was still raining and there was a light mist hanging. On one side of the road we had the mountainside rising above us. On the other side was the steep drop where the mountain continued. There was so much water flowing down the mountain from the rains it made a small river flowing down the other side.

I was caught up in the beauty of it all for a bit, but then it occurred to me that all this water could trigger another landslide. Then I wondered if there could be snakes as big as the one in the picture I posted a few days ago. That's when I told the photographer I'd wait in the car.

The next day I was back in the city checking out stores to find out how their Christmas sales were going. And I have no idea where I'll be tomorrow.

It's awesome.

Me Vs Nature.

2011-12-18T21:21:00.002-04:00

Pastelles are a Christmas tradition here in T&T. For those of you who don't know, they're these steamed, meat-filled, cornmeal pies. The traditional way is to cook them wrapped in banana leaves. They're awesome!

Mrs. C makes kick-ass pastelles. She actually used to make extra money at Christmastime selling them. She doesn't make them for sale any more. Too much work. We would often lose an entire night's sleep to make them. She still makes more than enough for us and to give out to a few friends and relatives, though.

But as I was saying, banana leaves are required. They're not a must. You can wrap them in foil, but my wife's adamant about doing it the old fashioned way. She says it enhances the flavor. All I know is they taste great. Who am I to argue?

When I wrote about where I'm from I said it wasn't uncommon to have banana trees in the average Trini's yard. But there are exceptions and most of the places we've lived in the past didn't. This meant me having to go around to neighbors to get leaves.

But this year I got lucky. There isn't just one banana tree in the yard of our new apartment, there are two. So this time I don't have to go around to the neighbors to get leaves. Plus, free bananas! Win-win, right?

Well, it looks like someone has other plans. The other day I went to the back yard to check on the condition of the trees I'd soon be pillaging for leaves. I also wanted to check on the three bunches of bananas that were growing too. That's when I noticed a slight hitch in the plans.

It seems a small Ground Dove has set up a nest in one of the banana bunches. Needless to say, I wanted to share this so I decided to get a picture. I went back yesterday morning to get one and the mom flew off in fear and abandoned her babies.

I question her parenting skills.

This did, however, give me a change to scope out the nest. And I took pics.

For some reason I feel like saying, "Crikey! Those are beauts!"

Um... Occupied.

I checked this morning and the did mom come back. Apparently she was in a calmer mood because she didn't fly off this time.

What the..! You again?!

Awwww... So cute, right?

Well cuteness aside, this poses two problems:

I need leaves later this week. I don't want to disrupt their home but there's no way I'm missing out on my wife's pastelles or going around the neighborhood for leaves for this.
I kinda had my eye on those bananas. They're the ones most likely to be ripe first.

I need to figure this out.

Birds! Why id it always birds?!

Random Thoughts Of A Sleep Deprived Mind.

2011-12-16T08:00:00.000-04:00

For those of you who have noticed my lack of posting this week, I've been in the midst of end of semester exams. For those of you who haven't, well... I haven't been posting this week... because of... exams.

I recently finished a final project for one of my classes which kept me up until 4:30am and I haven't had chance to get a full night's sleep since.

I think that is the reason I've had all kinds of random things bouncing around my head that I thought ~~I could slap together~~ were funny enough to make a post. Kinda like my old "Random Tuesday Thought" posts I used to do back in the day.

I blame sleep deprivation for what comes next...

- The other day I was folding a shirt when I realized it was inside out. The first thing I thought about was hitting the "Undo" button. That's when I realized I've probably been spending too much time at the computer. Then the next thing I thought of was to blog about it.

- We've been battling a serious ant infestation in our home. I think they're winning. The other morning they scored a victory by getting inside our electric kettle's wiring and rendering it useless. Don't ask me how.

- I learned the other day that two jumbo hot dogs are my limit. I know. I’m a total lightweight. I was able to figure this out very out soon after jumbo hot dog number four.

Not a good day.

- Up the street there's a yard with two really big dogs. I think one of is mixed with a smaller breed because his front legs are noticeably shorter than his back legs. I call him Dogosaurus Rex. He amuses me.

I miss those RTT days.

I'd say I need a nap but I'm actually about to leave for work. Plus, this is a six-day work week for me and I still have a Math assignment and two exams left.

Joy.

The World of Warcraft & Public Transportation.

2011-12-07T05:00:00.000-04:00

I mentioned a few times that I’m not a fan of getting behind the wheel. This, to the point where I don’t even have a driver’s license. However, this does leave me a slave to the public transportation system, and that in itself has its own challenges.

To properly illustrate what I mean, I'll employ the help of WoW Model Viewer. Let’s say that this is me.

I’m a dwarf. Why? Because I’m short... And stocky too. Let's just pretend that, like a dwarf, I’m really ripped too.

But I digress. Generally, taxis here in T&T pick up passengers in groups and take everyone from point A to point B. That normally means three passengers in the back seat and one in the passenger seated up front.

I try to get the front seat. That’s the seat of choice. You can get to the taxi hub and see the first 5 or 6 cars in the line with only the front seat filled. Unfortunately, more often than not I end up in back, which sucks. Why? Well, let’s say I get in the back seat of the taxi.

That’s when a really large person will get in next to me.

Sure enough, someone else who is equally large (or larger) will come in on the other side.

Leaving me squished in the middle. For those of you familiar with World of Warcraft, you’ll notice that I’m reppin’ Alliance, while they’re from the Horde. This is not good. We’re from enemy factions so we’re already predisposed to not liking each other. Added to that is the fact that it’s been a hot day and the driver either refuses to put the air conditioning on or it’s broken. All in all, not a very comfortable situation for anyone involved.

Especially me.

And it doesn’t help when they’re both level 85s and have on full epic gear while I, on the other hand, am just a lowly noob...

Priest.

I’m probably going to get ganked before the end of the ride.

Changing The Detour.

2011-12-06T18:03:00.001-04:00

I've made a slight change to how things operate with linking my Sprocket Ink posts from here. As much as I know you enjoy my little pseudo posts to send you over there when I have a post up, I've decided to put the kibosh on those.

But fear not, I bring you an alternative that I think works better. See my official Sprocket correspondent's badge over to the right? Now, if you click on it, it'll take you directly to the last post I did there. See? It even says that it links to my most recent post there right above it.

Oh! By the way...

I've got a new post on Sprocket Ink again today. It's about what the folks at Fox Business think of Hollywood. Click here and check it out.

Okay, that was the last time. I promise.