As yet unpublished

16 YEARS OLD!!!

Jennifer Lawton — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 20:57:00 -0500

In just a few hours ... it will be my oldest son's 16th birthday. It was a day just like today when he was born ... cold, snowy, sleety, nasty weather that made you worry about being able to get to the hospital. Only it's Wednesday today and it was Thursday then. I was home all day long wanting to make sure that I didn't go to the hospital too early and I also really wanted to be able to eat food because I knew that once I was there I wouldn't be allowed to eat. So I stayed home and watched TV all day with the little kid upstairs from where we lived ... and went for a few long (cold, wet and snowy) walks and finally in the midst of my favorite TV show (THE COSBY SHOW !!!) I had to concede that "it was time" and went to the hospital. Of course ... it was an icy, nasty trip over the one and only bridge leading into Boston and we didn't get there a minute too soon. I got to my room at 8:30 and had Thomas about an hour later.

And what an amazing journey it's been since then. An immediate "holy shit what do I do know" that lead to 16 years of nothing but wonderment. I can't say I would trade a minute of the last 16 years for any other experience -- even in the depths of frustration, despair and "what the hell is THIS about". I wouldn't trade any test of every boundary any more than I would trade in all those wonderful hugs, kisses, "I love yous", "I need you", and "you're the best mom in the worlds."

Today was a perfect day -- it snowed and there was no school which allowed the ever-slothful young Thomas to sleep to a ripe time of 1pm and then laze around watching TV and playing video games with his friends. It was great to have a snow day to be home with the kids, their friends and the dogs and just enjoy the day. Be in the moment. Be totally present. And be grateful and thankful for all the amazing experiences that both of my kids have brought to my life.

Fridays

Jennifer Lawton — Fri, 12 Jan 2007 17:13:20 -0500

I love Fridays. They signify the end of what always seems like a longer and more hectic week than expected. We always have a hard workout at crew and I feel like that's the start of the weekend and time to kick back a little bit.

Today was no exception. I had one home from school just not thinking that school was what was on his agenda for the day ... another sleeping in seemingly unaware of the fact that he was intractably asleep when I left the house ... and then a hard crew workout. I came home from crew and got truant one settled and truant two off to school (woo hoo!) and then went to work! I've been going into work on a regular basis more than I had been -- I guess boy life has simmered down enough to make room for time at work -- and had a great time just talking with staff and customers.

And then, out of the blue, in walks Brad ... one of my very best friends who lives in Boulder under 10 feet of snow and massive snow drifts and isn't usually "just in Greenwich." What a great way to end a long week and start a long weekend. A long weekend with a Maya research project and two lengthy Call of the Wild assignments on the agenda.

I love the freedom of two businesses that keep you tied to the community but allow time for family and friends. I don't stop and give thanks often enough to being able to be home with the boys; have two fun, active, interesting businesses; be a part of a vibrant community; and have time to pursue new interests and passions (like rowing).

Now I can't wait for Saturday.

Bad blogger

Jennifer Lawton — Wed, 10 Jan 2007 14:40:16 -0500

I was a bad blogger in 2006. I guess my life happened in little chunks -- a month here ... a month there ... -- and voila you have a year in my life. NOT.

There's lots new but I think it's a go forward not backward time of year.

It's like summer time here in Connecticut. Until today. It went from 70 to 20 overnight and I don't feel comfortable with such overt displays of global warming. I am terribly comforted by the fact that our president doesn't believe and therefore I shouldn't think it's global warming.

It's the quiet time of year at Just Books and Arcadia so I've decided to row ... exercise ... keep my mail spool clean ... and try to keep all the websites updated and to keep the blog active and see what that does for the world!

September

Jennifer Lawton — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 22:38:26 -0400

I love September. It's like ... the new January for me. It always feels like a time of new beginnings, turning over a new leaf and extreme energy. Kind of interesting since it's a season that is pretty opposite of that ... dropping old leaves and replacing them with nothing, the putting to sleep of nature ... but I guess because of that old K-12 education system, it's pretty much a time for new in my body clock.

This fall is no different. Kids started school, crew practices started up again, our author programs are in full-swing and holiday stock buying is, well, pretty much over! I'm just feeling like I'm settling into the new routine, happy to have the windows closed more than open and ready to pull out the fall clothing lines.

It's great to be back in a new routine -- hectic and tedious and crazy as it is -- and to have a time to re-energize.

London and global warming

Jennifer Lawton — Sun, 30 Jul 2006 06:12:02 -0400

I've been in London with my 15-year old, Thomas, since Monday and ... it's been hellishly hot. Not hotter than Greenwich, CT but it's wicked hot for the UK -- high 90's -- with high humidity. It's so pleasant in the tube stations that aren't air conditioned and the trains that aren't air conditioned with the whole of humanity taking the underground trains to and fro and here and there.

I have actually been pretty amazed at the effect of the heat. It's very hot in a world that isn't made to handle heat. There's very little capacity to air condition and the smaller shops are doing their very best with what appears to be no ventilation systems. We were in the Fred Perry shop the other day and it must have been 120F in the shop. It was actually hard to think. I think I would have bought the apple green shirt with the yellow and pink stripes just to be able to do something other than stand there in a stupor. It was just bizarre.

So, I've spent a lot of time in London and I finally feel like I know my way around in a macro sense. Better, perhaps, than New York. I feel like we've been on a world tour while we were here. We started out with a day on Hampstead Heath (staying in Hampstead) and then spent the whole of the next day walking around Knightsbridge, South Kensington and the Portobello and Bayswater areas. I forgot that it would stay lighter here longer so we've been out late almost every night without really realizing it. Thomas and I just marvel every day at the size of the muslim and middle eastern population in London. On Wednesday we went to the British Museum via a long walk because we got on the wrong line of the underground and ... they were doing a full evacuation of the British Museum so we walked all over Picadilly and Oxford and Regent and Jermyn Streets until we nearly passed out. That evening we went to dinner at a friend's house who I have not seen since I was 16. It was fun to see someone who I knew so long ago and who I met when he was just a bit younger than my son is today. The next day we spent in the Tate Modern and, again, walking all over creation. And then on Friday we went to the Camden Town markets and I swear Thomas felt like he'd walked into a surreal world made just for teenagers. The place was just teaming with youth and chock full of goth, punk, techno goth and vintage clothing stores and there were more colors in the hair and the dread locks and the mohawks than there are in the rainbow. We rounded out that day with a second aborted visit to the British Museum because once we were there we realized we just didn't feel like it ... and then we woke up and went to Portobello Market for the morning before we hightailed it out to Southampton to visit friends.

It's been fun travelling with Thomas. It's not nearly as chaotic and angst like traveling with one teenager than with the whole family. We've walked all over London and then some and had some fun times, good experiences and relaxing times. We're staying at the fab house of a great friend in Hampstead and it's just great to have a place to come back to at night and really be able to kick back and relax. Of course I've had time to read a few books ... will post those at Just Books when I get home.

Off to the New Forest and some lunch ... hoping the vampire teens wake before tea time ... and thankful that it's not nearly as hot on the south coast of the UK as it is smack dab in the center of London.

More teeth

Jennifer Lawton — Wed, 28 Jun 2006 17:31:49 -0400

I have failed at wisdom teeth extraction healing. I got the dreaded dry socket and now I have to have this incredibly gross goo put in my sockets every day so that I don't go out of my head with pain. I think that a doctor invented this goo from the Ancient Egyption times. Gauze soaked in clove oil and other strange (but natural!) stuff ... totally random and ancient and weird and amazing.

I'm amazed at how the tooth industry is so quaint and ancient.

Maybe I'll have energy for something other than my current socket obsession later.

Wisdom teeth

Jennifer Lawton — Fri, 23 Jun 2006 21:42:14 -0400

I need to do the research on the evolutionary story on wisdom teeth. Why do we have them if we have to get them taken out?

I had two impacted wisdom teeth taken out in college and in my dentists infinite, money grubbing, wisdom he left the other two in. Two teeth with no opposing teeth that don't get well cared for and get filled every so often ...

I need 2 crowns and had a bad wisdom tooth so ... today I am without wisdom teeth.

I've never had laughing gas before -- that was fun. The most fun I had today. I think the surgeon almost put her knee on my chest when she tugged and pulled and repositioned my jaw to remove those two, deep rooted suckers.

How barbaric! I was just envisioning that the surgery I had today looked and felt about the same as it did 100 years ago! Although we now have reliable ice and painkillers ... well, I guess some laudunum would have worked.

Anyway, no tally of the day because I spent the day with throbbing holes in my mouth.

Teeth tomorrow

Jennifer Lawton — Thu, 22 Jun 2006 22:14:06 -0400

I just came from a meeting where the topic was fear ... and projecting is always a bad thing to do but I hate the dentist and all things teeth and I have to have two wisdom teeth pulled tomorrow and then 3 crowns in the near future and man oh man will my mouth ever be the same again? Aaaaaa.

Okay. It's just teeth. It takes like 20 minutes. This too you will survive.

Breath in and out.

I had rowing today -- I'm learning how to row. We row with two oars and it's not so easy and you spend a lot of time hoping like hell you don't fall into the smelly water. I am not a huge fan of water, either. Water is so amazingly powerful and I have a very healthy respect for it and don't really like being in it when I can't see my feet and I know that in this river, you can never see your feet.

Today was the end of our third week of rowing and ... today I did it. I did it the way you are supposed to. I let the body hang and the feet do the work and the rowing follow and I didn't pull and I didn't fight the oars and I somehow went into that zen state and just did it and it was cool. Really cool. For a few minutes, I got it. And then I nearly fell in again and did that face where you try to control and the more you do the less it works until you let go again and then you are in the zone and rowing as you should.

Learning how to row is a great metaphor for good things go do in life. Stop the fight against things you can't control. Let go and the rest will follow. Stay in the moment. It's all there.

Tally of the day:

*One of those extreme soccer mom days. Had to get Thomas up for an appointment at 9:30 am so he spent the morning being mad that I woke him up and then took him to town and me to crew and then from crew had lunch and went to work and then went home and took Thomas for an allergy shot and gained a bunch of kids along the way and had to take them out for food because there were so many and then went to see jazz, the author and to a meeting. Yes, I had to refill the tank.
*Nick used his cell phone reliably for incoming and outgoing calls and let me know where he was and what he was doing all day long. Day two and there's always tomorrow.

I'm ready for school to start!

Jennifer Lawton — Wed, 21 Jun 2006 22:24:56 -0400

So, I think a day long summer vacation is fine. I really do understand the value of downtime ... just not sure that parents and teens need to be side-by-side to take it because the teens get downtime and the parents get hair-standing-on-end time.

Nothing really wrong with the day. Started work early and left as my 12-year old was proclaiming, as he awoke at 7:30 am from a dead sleep, that he was going to save his money to buy an oxygen machine. Huh? 7:30 am is too early to start wondering what your 12-year old wants with an oxygen machine. So, I gave him a bowl of cereal and went to work.

I used the cellphone leash with Nick today and he was there almost every time I called -- Johnny on the spot with location and communication. Maybe there's something to moving upwards and onwards after all. Thomas didn't even get up until 11:30 when I woke him up to go to the gym and we didn't even get there until 2 pm. Still, it's nice to work out with your kid, if a little intimidating (they can just chuck those weights around while I have to really try hard to lift them).

I was doing fine until the freezer at work decided to defrost and the people working tonight decided they couldn't and they moved graduation to tonight so that noone was around ... and kids came to my house and goofed off and gave me a frustrationg boost and then bought pizza and soda and ... IT WAS ALMOST DINNERTIME.

Tally of the day:

*Had to knock some 15-year old brains around a little bit and restate the summer rules of the road
*Was thrilled that Nick figured out how to use his cell phone for both incoming and outgoing calls
*No dinner guests or sleepovers came to fruition
*Nick continuing reaction to the tetanus but seeming to soldier through it except for the fever he's running and the puking that he did
*I got to do some work at home and it's not melty hot so I didn't feel like I was working in hades

Graduation Gifts

Jennifer Lawton — Wed, 21 Jun 2006 12:15:59 -0400

I thought of my good friend Brad Feld as I merrily rang in and wrapped up all of our gift copies of The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged to dole out to all the high school graduates I know. I just think it's best to start them all out on the right path.

Day one of vacation was survived.

Tally of the day:

*Nick sick because of reaction to tetanus booster. Wasted sick day!
*Thomas in the city with his girlfriend Mackenzie for the day and then they made dinner (!) and had ice cream and watched a movie.

Suspiciously quiet and easy.