It’s been a long, long Monday.

You get home from work, eat dinner, clean up, flop on the couch, and doze off watching TV or mess with your phone. Then you repeat the same routine Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Before you know it, you’ve hit the weekend, and it felt like all you did all week was work.

In reality, you had an hour or two to do whatever you wanted each night. But because you didn’t consciously invest that time in meaningful or satisfying activities, every day felt like a grind.

So how do you shake up this routine and begin to invest your time in activities that truly satisfy and refresh you?

As a time management coach, I’ve seen that these five strategies can help you feel like you have more free time and feel happier with how you invest it.

PLAN YOUR DOWNTIME IN ADVANCE

Making a positive choice on what to do in the evening is really difficult when you already feel drained. A better option is to think ahead about your free time. That could include scheduling a dinner out, time to cook, a visit to the gym, or an opportunity to review your retirement accounts. If you’ll need to coordinate with others, I recommend scheduling events at least a few days in advance, for example, reaching out on Wednesday or Thursday for weekend plans. You may even want to put a recurring reminder in your calendar on Wednesdays to prompt you to think about the weekend. And for solo activities, such as reading or getting something done around your home, some conscious thinking even the morning of can better your chances of a good evening. For instance, on your way to work, you may decide that tonight you’ll go on a hike or finally tackle some outstanding bills.

PREP FOR ACTION

Since free time is so limited, it’s essential that you prep in advance to take full advantage of your time. That could mean packing a gym bag so you can go straight from work to the gym, writing up a list of errands to run so that you can zip out at the end of the day and get right to them, or setting out what you’ll need to work on a home project later that evening. Teeing yourself up the night before lowers the chances of inaction and also incentivizes you to leave work on time. When you have a higher level of consciousness, you are aware that extra time in the office means less time for whatever else you want to do, so you have motivation to leave.

DO WHAT SATISFIES

Not all activities will equally benefit your life. Watching TV or scrolling on your phone isn’t intrinsically bad or wrong, but these activities won’t produce the mood-enhancing brain chemicals that the most effective stress-relief strategies can. The best activities include exercising or playing sports, attending a religious service, reading, listening to music, spending time with friends or family, getting a massage, going for a walk, meditating, yoga, or hobbies.

Each person has slightly different preferences, so make a list of the specific activities that make you most happy. For example, if you’re extroverted, that might include getting out and around people as much as possible, whereas an introvert might need more solo activities. Then try to get some of them in each week. Maybe your list includes playing soccer, going on walks, reading, and spending time with your significant other. Clarity on what you want to do makes it easier to make those activities a priority.

DOUBLE THE BENEFIT

A simple way to multiply the benefit of your precious free time is to layer activities. For example, go on a walk with a friend, or work on a creative hobby with your significant other—either doing the same activity or being in the same room. One thing I discovered about myself in the last few years is that I would rather meet socially for a hike than drinks or dinner. So now, when friends suggest getting together, I try to steer us toward an outdoor activity. That way I get in social time and do something that refreshes me on a deep level.

INCREASE YOUR SENSE OF TIME

Another little trick to give yourself the sense that you have more free time is to do more than one activity in an evening. For example, instead of just working out, also take 10-15 minutes to read, or instead of just going out for dinner, also sort the mail. I don’t recommend packing your free time too tightly. But by doing multiple activities in one evening, it makes you feel like you experienced more within the same amount of time.

Can you watch TV at night? Absolutely. I’m not suggesting that you must ban yourself from all electronic devices in the evening. But you should consider a more intentional approach to your free time. Some small tweaks to how you spend it can make a huge impact to the sense that you have free time, your overall energy levels, and your satisfaction with life in general.

Original article here

When old age starts depend on where you live in the world. But it may also partly depend on how you view ageing. Can you delay it with a positive attitude?

What age do you think counts as middle age? Forty to 60? Fifty to 70? Somewhere in between? It probably won’t surprise you to learn that the answer people give to this question depends on how old they are at the time they are asked it.

When half a million people completed an online questionnaire in 2018 the participants who were in their 20s and 30s said on average that middle age began at 40, while old age started at 62. By contrast, the over-65s didn’t think old age began until the age of 71.

It’s fairly obvious what is going on here. No one really likes to think of themselves as getting older, so if you are 40 you relish articles that proclaim that 40 is the new 30. Likewise, people in their 70s are buoyed by suggestions that with advances in nutrition and health care they are barely out of middle age. Also, we tend to want to disassociate ourselves from any group that is stigmatised. This means we resist being designated as old, when we see elderly people portrayed as frail, sedentary, ill and even a burden on society.

Of course, old age is a reality and older people should be treated with respect and dignity. So are people simply deluding themselves if they refuse to consider themselves to be old? In fact, it turns out it might be a sensible strategy, one that can be self-fulfilling and life enhancing.

In 2003, the researchers Hannah Kuper and Sir Michael Marmot (famous for demonstrating the impact that socio-economic status in life can have on our health and life expectancy) carried out a wide-ranging study in which participants were again asked the question: when does old age start?

Answers varied of course, but what Kuper and Marmot found was that those people who thought old age began earlier were more likely to have had a heart attack, to be suffering from heart disease or be in poor physical health generally when they were followed up six to nine years later.

The participants in this study were taking part in the so-called Whitehall II study, a longitudinal study of more than 10,000 civil servants working in London.  The research is robust, with participants asked a whole bank of questions. This meant that Kuper and Marmot could establish that other factors such as employment grade couldn’t account for the differences in health outcomes.

So how could the number you give to old age starting possibly have this great an impact on your health?

One idea is that the answer to the simple question of when old age starts actually provides a lot more information about a person than you might think. It might be, for instance, that the question prompts people to think about their own physical health, and if they have underlying health issues or a poor lifestyle, they might not feel that well and are moved to think old age is coming sooner.

People who think old age starts later in life may be more conscious about their health and fitness

People who say that old age sets in at an earlier age may also be more fatalistic and less likely to seek help for medical conditions or to adopt healthier routines, believing that decline is inevitable. They may, for instance, assume that older people are frail and so deliberately start walking more slowly and taking it easy when this is exactly what they shouldn’t be doing for the sake of their physical and mental health.

They might expect to forget things due to their age, so they stop relying on their memories. It’s even possible that the stress of holding negative ideas about ageing contributes to chronic inflammation and more health problems in the long term. So living up to the stereotype of an older person might increase the very problems they fear.

And all of this may be true the other way round too of course. People who think old age starts later in life may be more conscious about their health and fitness and therefore take active steps to stay in better shape. They think they are younger and so behave in younger ways, creating a virtuous circle.

Whatever the explanation, the Kuper and Marmot study is not the only research to demonstrate measurable benefits of thinking positively about ageing. Becca Levy from the Yale School of Public Health, using data from the Ohio Longitudinal Study of Aging and Retirement, also produced some extraordinary findings. The Ohio study had followed imore than a thousand people who were at least 50 at the time.

She found that people who had positive ideas about their own ageing (who agreed with comments such as “I have as much pep as last year” and who disagreed that as you get older you get less useful) lived for an average of 22.6 years after they first participated in the study, while the people who felt less positively about ageing lived for just 15 years more on average.

People who saw old age more positively, as a time to learn new things and make new plans, for example, lived longer on average

Then along comes a new study conducted by Susanne Wurm from the University of Greifswald in northern Germany, which might pin down the problem more precisely. And her findings provide some good news for people who think more negatively about the onset of old age. They weren’t any more likely than average to die early. But again, people who saw old age more positively, as a time to learn new things and make new plans, for example, lived longer on average.

In this study, it didn’t matter as much what people thought about the physical implications of ageing, what mattered was whether they believed they would still develop and grow mentally.

None of this research means we can magically halt or reverse the ageing process. Eyesight, hearing, memory, muscle mass, bone strength, healing processes: you name it, they all decline. And older people are of course more vulnerable to a whole ranges of illnesses.

These big studies are all based on averages, so saying you’re not middle aged isn’t going to stop everyone getting ill. But in his book The Expectation Effect, science journalist David Robson has some tips for us. He suggests that instead of mourning the loss of youth, we should focus on the experiences and knowledge we gain as we get older and notice how much better we get at dealing with things.

When older people are unwell, they shouldn’t assume that’s all due to old age. Above all, as we age, we should never give up on trying to be healthier and believing that there are many things we can still do. If we adopt this attitude, we are likely both to live longer and to enjoy those years.

Original article here

Just one week after he graduated from Yale Law School, while he was training for the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games, Seun Adebiyi was diagnosed with lymphoma and leukemia. This forced him to put his Olympic dreams on the back burner as he rethought his life plans.

Adebiyi knows all about mental toughness and resilience. After experiencing firsthand the difficulty of finding stem cell donors (the odds of finding a genetically compatible donor is less than 17 percent for those of African descent, compared to 70 percent for Caucasians), Seun took it upon himself to found Nigeria’s first national bone marrow registry–the second ever in Africa.

And Adebiyi did eventually participate in the Olympics, carrying the torch for Nigeria in the 2018 Winter Olympic Games. Today, Adebiyi is cancer-free, and he has become an entrepreneur. He’s currently a self-employed, freelance attorney with InCloudCounsel, a legal technology company that automates and enhances high-volume legal processes.

Here, according to Seun Adebiyi, are five ways to develop unbeatable mental toughness.

• Never confuse who you are with what you do.

The most common mistake people make is to confuse their self-worth with their accomplishments. Says Adebiyi, “I remember when I first missed the Olympics–fracturing my spine from overtraining just months before the 2000 Games. It was my first major setback as an athlete, and I completely crumbled mentally–all because I had made the mistake of tying my self-worth to my sense of accomplishment.” In reality, nothing could be further from the truth.

• Master your inner dialogue.

What you say to yourself matters more than what the entire world together says about you. When he was fighting leukemia with intensive chemo and full body radiation, Adebiyi refused to wear a hospital gown. Instead, he wore workout sweats and did walking lunges up and down the linoleum hospital floors, pushing his surgically attached IV pole next to him. Says Adebiyi, “Doctors and nurses looked at me like I was crazy, but I never accepted their perspective that I was a ‘cancer patient.’ In my mind, I was an Olympic hopeful who just happened to be overcoming cancer.”

• Learn to live in the moment.

Let’s face it, sometimes life just kicks you in the teeth. Trying to avoid suffering is like trying to cross the Atlantic in a rowboat without getting wet. When the storms of life start tossing you around like a toy, you need an anchor–something you can cling to when all seems hopeless. According to Adebiyi, “That anchor was my breath. I just focused on surviving from breath to breath, and repeated the following words over and over like a mantra: ‘This too shall pass.’”

• Fortify your village, then build a moat.

In many African countries, there’s a popular saying, “It takes a village to raise a child.” This is true in life as well. Learn to pick your associates carefully. Find the handful of people who will support you no matter what, invest your time and energy in strengthening those relationships. As Adebiyi explains, you may also need to distance yourself from the toxic people in your life who tear down your self-confidence. “This might involve some painful conversations, spending less time on social media, and ending a few relationships,” says Adebiyi. “But trust me, it’s virtually impossible to master your inner dialogue and develop inner resilience with someone whispering doubts in your ear.”

• Be prepared, be prepared, be prepared.

As someone once said, never let a good crisis go to waste. Often, the biggest opportunities for personal and professional growth are found in times of upheaval and uncertainty. The time to “hurricane proof” your life isn’t when the shingles start to fly off the roof, but when the sky is still blue and sunny. Suggests Adebiyi, “Work on your self-image, inner dialogue, present-moment awareness, and key relationships now. It doesn’t take much: You can practice visualization/meditation every day, affirm your key relationships, and minimize negative influences with just a few minutes each day.”

And when life comes knocking, you’ll be ready to rock.

Original article here

Walking has seen a surge in popularity over the past few years, thanks to a slew of research that’s found that it’s great for your overall health and longevity. Now, another study has found that you don’t need to log several miles to reap the benefits of walking. Instead, just a few minutes a day could provide a serious boost for your overall health.

So, what’s the deal with this study and why is walking so good for you? Here’s what we know.

What did the study find?

The meta-analysis, which was published in the British Journal of Sports Medicine, analyzed data from 196 peer-reviewed articles that involved more than 30 million people. The researchers specifically looked at the link between the participants’ physical activity and health.

After crunching the data, the researchers discovered that people who logged 75 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise (which includes brisk walking) per week had a 23 percent lower risk of early death.

When the study authors broke that down even more, they found that 75 minutes a week of moderate-intensity exercise lowered the risk of cardiovascular disease by 17 percent and cancer by seven percent.

Why is walking so good for you?

There are a few reasons why walking is beneficial. For one, it’s approachable.

“There’s no skill hurdle and people aren’t usually intimidated by it,” says Albert Matheny, R.D., C.S.C.S., co-founder of SoHo Strength Lab. You also don’t need extra equipment, meaning you can usually just walk out the door and go.

“Walking is great because it’s a cardiovascular exercise, but it’s also weight-bearing,” Matheny says. “That’s ultimately better for bone density and overall mobility.”

In addition to all of that, research has linked a walking habit with better moods, improvements in heart health, and a lowered risk of developing diabetes.

How much walking do you need to do per day to reap the benefits?

It really depends on your goals. This particularly study found that walking at a solid pace for just 11 minutes a day (a.k.a. 75 minutes spread out over the course of seven days) can give you all of those health perks mentioned above.

But that doesn’t mean you need to stop walking once you hit 11 minutes. “There’s no magic number,” Matheny says. “It’s not like if you walk less than 5,000 steps, you get no benefit.”

If you’re looking to take up a walking habit for fitness, he suggests aiming for 5,000+ steps a day. Ultimately, though, Matheny recommends just doing what you can.

How can I add more walking to my day?

There are so many ways to take up a walking habit, including making it a regular workout or finding ways to sneak it in, like walking to a friend’s house versus driving there. (You may need to upgrade your footwear to get a good walking shoe if you plan to ramp things up, though.)

“You can also just try to go outside and walk whenever you can,” Matheny says. “It’s good for your mind and body.”

Original article here

From skin to hair, scabs and even tears, the external appearance of the body can offer clues about the state of your health.

But there’s another part of the anatomy that’s often overlooked: the feet.

Feet are wired up to nerve fibre tracts from the brain so you can stand, balance and wiggle your toes. They’re also plumbed by blood vessels, which lead all the way from the heart.

The appearance and function of our feet, then, can indicate viral infections, diseases of the cardiovascular system and even neurological disorders. Here are a couple of examples.

Hand, foot and mouth disease (HFM)

Infectious diseases tend to affect different parts of the body.

Measles usually starts off on the face, or in the mouth, as little spots that look like grains of sugar. Pityriasis versicolor, a type of fungal infection tends to begin and stay on the torso. The reasons why they tend to affect these areas is not well understood.

HFM disease begins in exactly these areas. It’s caused by a virus known as coxsackie, and tends to produce raised pink-red spots, that can blister and weep. The name is a bit of a misnomer — the rash can also affect the legs and buttocks too. Noticing a new rash on the feet should prompt a doctor to consider HFM.

HFM is a common childhood illness that’s very contagious. Thankfully, it’s also usually short lived, clearing without treatment after a few days.

It shouldn’t be confused with foot and mouth – or better, hoof and mouth, however. Foot and mouth is a different virus from HFM that (mainly) affects cloven-hoofed animals, like cows and sheep. This is the disease that resulted in a UK epidemic back in 2001.

Heart, vessels and feet 

Our circulatory system supplies blood to every part of the body – from the crown of the head, to the tips of the toes. By the time blood vessels reach these extremities, like twigs from a tree, they have branched and got much smaller in size.

At some point, we’ve all experienced the discomfort of icy cold feet, especially when going barefoot around the house or during chillier days. It’s normal for feet to feel cool to the touch, but they should not change colour from their usual skin colour to blue – nor should they ever get painfully cold.

Severe symptoms of discolouration and pain can point toward a phenomenon called blue-toe syndrome. It can be triggered by tiny little masses called micro-emboli, comprised of blobs of cholesterol. These emboli pass easily through large vessels but will struggle as they become smaller.

On reaching the smaller vessels of the feet, they finally become stuck, cutting off the blood supply. The tissues then become starved of oxygen causing the feet to change colour and become painful.

In serious cases, blue-toe syndrome can lead to tissue death, breakdown and the formation of gangrene, which may require amputation of toes – or even the whole foot.

This rare condition is sometimes called “trash foot”, because of the way in which the feet become so discoloured.

What’s the underlying cause of these tiny cholesterol fragments? Most likely aneurysms and atherosclerosis – vessels that have ballooned or hardened upstream of the feet. When trash foot does occur, it is often following surgical treatment for these conditions, such as aortic aneurysm repair. The procedures disrupt the vessel, which can cause emboli to break off.

As well as trash foot, there are other signs in the feet that can point towards cardiovascular disease. Raised red swellings appearing on the feet (as well as the hands) can indicate an infection of the heart called bacterial endocarditis. These can be painless – in which case we call them Janeway lesions – or sore, which are called Osler’s nodes.

The Babinski sign

The toes can signal issues with the nervous system too.

If you’ve ever watched ER or Grey’s Anatomy and heard one of the characters shout “upgoing plantars!” during a patient examination, you know they’re referring to the Babinski reflex. After finding the upgoing plantar, the doctor may then have creased their brow with worry – and for good reason.

The Babinski sign is a simple test which involves stroking the sole of the foot with a blunt ended instrument to check the response of the toes. This is the plantar reflex – plantar relating to the sole of the foot. Normally, when this reflex is triggered, the toes should curl under or flex downwards towards the sole.

It the big toe points upwards, and the smaller toes fan out, this is an “upgoing plantar” response – also known as the Babinski sign, named after the neurologist Joseph Babinski who first described it. It is normal to find this response in babies, whose nervous systems are undergoing development and not capable of all the motor functions of an adult.

In adults, however, finding the Babinski sign is an altogether different story. Most commonly, it signifies that a stroke is disrupting the normal brain circuitry that controls the feet.

Other causes include multiple sclerosis and (rarely) drug intoxication. In some otherwise healthy people, though, the Babinski sign can be observed during deep sleep.

The scope is much wider than just these conditions. Diabetes, kidney failure and even thyroid disorders can affect the feet. They are, therefore, important indicators of our health so regular checks are essential – and seek medical advice if you notice any pain, discolouration or rashes.

Original article here

 

Bullying can make children’s lives a misery and cause lifelong health problems – but scientists are discovering powerful ways to fight it.

Lady Gaga, Shawn Mendes, Blake Lively, Karen Elson, Eminem, Kate Middleton and Mike Nichols – these are just a few people who have spoken about their experiences of being victims of bullying at school, and the pain that it has caused them in childhood and later life. My own nemeses were a pair of Daniels from rural Yorkshire. They had the habit of mimicking and mocking everything I said, so that I barely dared to speak in class.

Anyone who has been victimised as a child will understand the feelings of shame that these kinds of experiences can bring. And the consequences do not stop there. Recent research suggests that the effects of childhood bullying can linger for decades, with long-lasting changes that can put us at a greater risk of mental and physical illness.

Such findings are leading an increasing number of educationalists to shift their views of bullying – from an inevitable element of growing up, to a violation of children’s human rights.

“People used to think that bullying is a normal behaviour, and in some instances, that it could even be a good thing – because it builds character,” explains Louise Arseneault, a professor of developmental psychology at King’s College London in the UK. “It took a long time for [researchers] to start considering bullying behaviour as something that can be really harmful.”

With this change of mind, many researchers are now testing various anti-bullying schemes – with some exciting new strategies to create a kinder school environment.

Inflamed mind, inflamed body

There can be little doubt that bullying is a serious risk to children’s mental health in the short term, with the most notable consequences being elevated anxiety, depression and paranoid thinking. While some of these symptoms may naturally vanish after the bullying stops, many victims continue to suffer from a higher risk of mental illness.

According to a recent paper in the Harvard Review of Psychiatry, a woman who has been bullied as a child is 27 times more likely to have a panic disorder as a young adult. Among men, childhood bullying resulted in a 18-fold increase in suicidal ideation and action. “There are all these associations, which are robust and replicated across different samples,” says Arseneault.

Bullying will also have protracted consequences for people’s social lives: many victims find it harder to make friends in later life and are less likely to live with a long-term partner. One possibility is that they struggle to trust the people around them. “Kids who’ve been bullied, might interpret social relationships in a more threatening way,” says Arseneault. Finally, there are the academic and economic costs. Bullying harms people’s grades which in turn reduces their job prospects – meaning that they are more likely to experience financial instability and unemployment in young adulthood and midlife.

Exposure to bullying as a child is linked to markedly higher levels of inflammation at age 45

Arseneault’s research suggests that the resulting stress can take a toll on the body for decades after the event. Analysing data from a 50-year-long longitudinal study, she found that frequent bullying between the ages of seven and 11 was linked to markedly higher levels of inflammation at age 45. Importantly, the link remained even after she had controlled for a host of other factors, including their diet, physical activity, and whether they smoked. That’s important, since elevated inflammation can disrupt the immune system and contributes to the wear and tear on our organs that leads to conditions like diabetes and cardiovascular disease.

Safety nets

Taken together, these findings suggest that attempts to eliminate bullying are not only a moral imperative to alleviate children’s immediate suffering; they may bring long-term benefits for a population’s health.

When I was at school in the UK in the 90s and early 2000s, there were no systematic campaigns to tackle the wider problem of bullying. Teachers would chastise certain behaviours – if they were observed. But the responsibility was on the student to report the problem, which means that many cases were ignored. Some teachers would tacitly endorse bullying by turning a blind eye to obvious issues, while others – a rare but toxic minority – actively sided with the bullies.

Certain types of bullying may also be tolerated because they reflect broader social prejudices. For example, a significant proportion of children of lesbian mothers in a longitudinal study reported teasing or bullying because of their family type, though parental support buffered the impact. LGBTQ youth are also more likely to experience bullying and other aggression in school. Schools, however, have tended to ignore homophobic bullying in the past.

Fortunately, ongoing research can now provide some proven anti-bullying strategies that are known to help.

The Olweus Bullying Prevention Program is one of the most widely tested schemes. It was developed by the late Swedish-Norwegian psychologist, Dan Olweus, who spearheaded much of the early academic research on child victimisation. The programme is based on the idea that individual cases of bullying are often the product of a wider culture that tolerates victimisation. As a result, it attempts to tackle the entire school ecosystem so that bad behaviour can no longer flourish

Every adult in the school needs some basic training about bullying: the people who work in the cafeteria, the bus drivers, the custodian – Susan Limber

Like many interventions, the Olweus Program starts with a recognition of the problem. For this reason, schools should set up a survey to question the students about their experiences. “Knowing what is going on in your building is really important and can guide your bullying prevention efforts,” says Susan Limber, a professor in developmental psychology at Clemson University in South Carolina.

The Olweus Program encourages the school to set out very clear expectations for acceptable behaviour – and the consequences if they breach those rules. “The [sanctions] should not be a surprise to the child,” Limber says. The adults must act as positive role models, who reinforce good behaviours and show zero tolerance for any forms of victimisation. They should also learn to recognise the locations within the school where bullying is most likely to occur and to supervise them regularly. “Every adult in the school needs some basic training about bullying – the people who work in the cafeteria, the bus drivers, the custodian,” says Limber.

At the level of the classroom, the children themselves hold meetings to discuss the nature of bullying – and the ways that they can help students who are the victims of bad behaviour. The aim, in all of this, is to ensure that the anti-bullying message is engrained in the institution’s culture.

Working with Olweus, Limber has tested the scheme in various settings, including a widescale rollout across more than 200 schools in Pennsylvania. Their analyses suggest that the program had resulted in 2,000 fewer cases of bullying over two years. Importantly, the researchers also saw changes in the school populations’ overall attitude to bullying, including greater empathy for victims.

Limber’s results are not alone in showing that systematic anti-bullying campaigns can bring about positive change. A recent meta-analysis, which examined the results of 69 trials, concluded that anti-bullying campaigns not only reduce victimisation but also improve the general mental health of students.

Interestingly, the duration of the programmes did not seem to predict their chances of success. “Even a few weeks of intervention were effective,” says David Fraguas, at the Institute of Psychiatry and Mental Health, Hospital Clínico San Carlos, in Madrid, who was the study’s first author.

Despite the strong evidence, these interventions have not yet been incorporated into most counties’ national education programmes, however. “We are not doing what we now know to be effective,” he says.

Sharing is caring

Bullying does not just end in school, of course, and Limber argues that parents and caregivers should be on the lookout for signs of a problem. “You should be proactive in talking about the subject – don’t wait for it to come up,” she says. “You can have it as part of a conversation to check in. You know, ‘How are things going with your friends? Do you have any troubles?’.”

She emphasises that the adult must take the child’s concerns seriously – even if they seem trivial from an outside perspective – while also keeping a clear head. “Listen thoroughly and try to keep your emotions in check as you hear them out.” The caregiver should avoid making hasty suggestions of how the child can deal with the problem, since this can sometimes create the sense that the victim is somehow to blame for the experience.

If appropriate, the parent or guardian should start a conversation with the school, who should immediately put together a plan to make sure the child feels safe. “The number one thing is to focus on that child and his or her experiences.”

Growing up is rarely going to be easy: children and adolescents are learning to navigate social relationships and that is going to come with hurt and upset. But as adults, we can do a much better job of teaching children that certain kinds of behaviours are never acceptable: there is no one to blame but the bullies themselves. Such lessons could have a widespread impact on the health and happiness of many generations to come.

Original article here

Our 206 bones do more than just keep us standing, walking, and singing through life. They also protect our organs, harbor bone marrow, and store minerals such as phosphorus and calcium. But just like your muscles, bones require maintenance work. Here’s how to keep them healthy for the long run.

Human bones don’t come ready at full strength. Instead, our bone density starts increasing shortly after birth and continues until we are about 30 years old. After that it plateaus until our 40s, when our skeleton begins to whither. For men, this process is a gradual one. For women, however, this occurs rapidly after menopause. If too much bone is lost, osteoporosis—a chronic disease that causes the body’s framework to become soft and brittle—can occur, and increase a person’s risk of bone fractures.

In the US, osteoporosis is responsible for more hospitalizations than heart attacks, strokes, and breast cancer combined. Invasive operations related to fractures, such as hip surgery, cause medical complications in older people. Nearly 20 percent of those on Medicare hospitalized a week after their fracture dies within a year.

“Osteoporosis is concerning because it’s chronic fracturing. Each break could drastically change your quality of life,” said Kyle Jeray, the chairman of the Department of Orthopedics at Prisma Health, a not-for-profit clinic in Greenville, South Carolina. “You may never be able to live on your own. You may become dependent on [a] walker. It’s a loss of independence.”

Because bone health declines later in life, the American Orthopedic Association recommends women 65 and older as well as men older than 70 should ask their primary care doctors for an osteoporosis evaluation. Those with a risk factor or a history of a fracture after the age of 50, regardless of the cause, should also be evaluated. Risk factors include severely low body weight, steroid use, rheumatoid arthritis, and other chronic diseases. For those concerned about osteoporosis, online risk assessment tests can be a helpful resource.

“It is a silent disease until it’s not. People don’t realize they have osteoporosis until they break something,” said Paul Anderson, the Vice Chair for Own the Bone, an American Orthopedic Association committee that encourages surgeons to take more ownership in the care of osteoporosis patients. “That is why we stress asking for evaluations.”

Half our body’s total calcium stores in women and two-thirds in men are made during puberty. This makes bone density difficult to rebuild past our 20s especially in women. But following a healthy, well-rounded diet can help maintain our skeleton’s strength. You’ve probably been told to drink milk for strong, healthy bones since you were little, and Anderson agrees. Foods like milk, cheese, kale, and sardines are rich in calcium—the building block of bones. Without adequate calcium, your body begins leaching it from the bone for other essential uses like heart and muscle functioning. That’s why the FDA recommends consuming between 1000 to 1200 milligrams of this vital mineral daily. Post-menopausal women and those with dairy allergies or dietary restrictions like veganism should be even more conscious of their calcium intake.

Proper Vitamin D intake is also crucial to a calcium-rich diet. The vitamin helps the gut absorb calcium and helps the kidneys break down and reabsorb calcium that would otherwise be excreted through our urinary tracts. Without it, this bone-building mineral would pass right through our bodies. Vitamin D is rarely found naturally in food, so most people soak it up through sunlight. Those living in northern latitudes where sunlight is scarce such as Chicago, the Dakotas, or Canada can turn to vitamin D-fortified foods like cereal and milk. Whether it’s obtained by basking in the sun’s rays or enjoying an ice-cold glass of milk, the FDA recommends about 800 to 1,000 international units of vitamin D daily.

However, quantity is just as important as quality when it comes to our diet. Without proper caloric intake—especially in our adolescent years—our body is unable to build bone mass.

“You can eat the right amount of calcium and vitamin D and take supplements, but if you are not taking in the proper amount of fuel you can still potentially lose bone mass,” says Jennifer Maynard, a family physician and sports medicine specialist at the Mayo Clinic’s Jacksonville, Florida campus.

This can put people, such as those with a history of eating disorders, at an increased risk of osteoporosis. Think of it like a savings account. Each year of our youth, we invest a bit in our bone bank so that as we age and begin to lose bone, we have a hefty reserve to tap into.

Here’s the other key component to good bone health: exercise, in any form. Bones, like muscles, respond to stress. As the saying goes, if you don’t use it, you lose it. When we don’t actively load our skeletons, calcium begins to leak from bones. Thankfully, just 20 minutes of weight-bearing exercises a day like walking or lifting weights can help maintain or even increase bone mass (though increases are likely minimal) according to Anderson.

Other than a healthy diet and exercise regimen, avoiding harmful toxins is essential for overall bone health. Anderson claims smoking tobacco causes calcium to escape via our urinary tract. It also causes an increase in cortisol, a hormone that’s known to breakdown bone. Tobacco isn’t the only toxin that can influence bone health; excess alcohol intake—defined as more than three standard drinks a day—is associated with chronic liver disease, a precursor to osteoporosis.

Even if you have osteoporosis, there are measures you can follow to avoid fractures. The National Osteoporosis Foundation found that 50 percent of repeat fractures could have been avoided.

Most fractures associated with mortality occur when older people, who have less stable muscles and bones, experience a bad fall. That is why Anderson recommends enrolling in a community-based fall prevention program. These programs focus on balancing exercises and advise participants on how to rearrange household furniture to prevent trips. For those a bit more adventurous, the CDC recommends Tai Chi as a great way to improve balance.

For serious cases of osteoporosis, medications such as bisphosphonates and anabolic agents can be prescribed. Bisphosphonates reduce the risk of fractures between 50 and 70 percent by stopping cells called osteoclasts from breaking down bone mass. Meanwhile, anabolic agents actually energize osteoblasts, the cells responsible for the construction of our skeletal framework.

Doctors and researchers are also trying to better understand the role genetics plays in our chances of developing osteoporosis, says Laura Bruce, a physician at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas who works with orthopedic patients. “[That knowledge] will only help us provide patients with more information.”

For now, getting in those extra steps or reps and getting regular checkups will help keep your bones strong as you age.

Original article here

We are spiritual beings having a physical experience. The purpose of incarnating is simply to give us the unique experiences we need for our progressive evolution toward perfection. Within each of our Earthly experiences, there are important lessons we’ve chosen to learn. On a subconscious level, we are attracting the people and experiences that will teach us these lessons.

You can heighten your awareness to help you recognize and embrace the synchronistic opportunities that are always presenting themselves in the form of people, places and events around you. First of all, commit to engaging in the reality that surrounds you, which might also mean turning off devices. You must also make an effort to disengage from the flurry of thoughts swirling through your head that distract you from fully appreciating your surroundings. A powerful practice I use is to say out loud or in my head, “Moment!” This immediately draws my attention back into the present, and I can more effectively engage with the world around me.

A scientific concept that reinforces the importance of our engagement with others is the quantum theory of entanglement. This theory states that whenever we exchange energy with another living being, that energetic connection will remain intact for all time. This means that every interaction you have with another living being will remain forever imprinted on both of you.

With this in mind, ask yourself: “What type of karmic imprint do I want to leave on myself and others throughout the day?” and “How can I improve the quality of the energetic connections I am making?”

Consider that our paths are predestined. We have come here on Earth to learn the life lessons that will allow us to progress on our paths. As such, we naturally create the experiences that are most likely to help us learn and grow. We attract the people, places and things that are most conducive to our soul’s evolution. Spiritual guides may also place certain people in our path to assist us on our journey. The key to recognizing these people and places as opportunities to learn and grow is to continually search for the deeper meaning of our interactions with them.

We have to ask ourselves questions like, “Why have I been placed in this particular location at this particular time, and how is this situation conducive to my growth?” We also have to explore relationships on a deeper level by asking ourselves, “Why have I been connected with this person and how can we benefit each other?” and “What lessons can we learn from each other?” By making a sincere effort to uncover the meaning behind our everyday experiences and interactions, we can reveal their higher purpose and learn to go with the flow.

Here are three powerful ways to remain open to the synchronistic flow of life’s stream:

1. Use the practice of saying, “Moment!” whenever you notice that you have become disconnected from the present moment.
2. Be aware of the karmic imprint you are leaving on yourself and others with every reaction and interaction.
3. Recognize the people, places and things you have attracted into your life all represent opportunities to learn the lessons that are most conducive to your evolutionary path.

After I began to recognize the divinity within the experiences of my life, I developed a strong faith that everything happens just as it should and for a good reason. Trusting in the divine plan has made me feel much more at peace with the events that unfold around me. I know I have projected these experiences in order to learn the lessons I need for my soul’s evolution and refinement.

Now that I am more capable of taming my mind and controlling the emotions of fear, anger and resentment, I am not experiencing those emotions reflected back to me. As a result, I naturally create more harmony and encounter less difficulty. This perspective has made my life so much smoother and more enjoyable. I’ve also become acutely aware that as I project compassion and kindness, these divine traits are reflected back to me.

This is true across the board and rarely does it fail me. When it does, I am able to see the symbolic nature of the experience and then identify my own personal emotions that, left unguarded, created conflict. Negative feelings, or trapped emotions, that still need my attention and repair are exposed. From this perspective, I am then grateful for the conflict because it revealed lessons I still need to learn. I can commit to learning those important life lessons right then and there, and avoid re-creating another experience just like it!

It’s really that easy. By opening yourself up to the world around you in this way, you are opening to spirit. Aligned with spirit, magical synchronicities will unfold as you meet opportunity at every intersection. The power is in the present moment.

Original article here

 

Put down that endless to-do list and step away from the organisational apps because multitasking is officially bad for your wellbeing.

We’re all busy and guilty of juggling too many important things at once – especially now, in the run up to Christmas. It’s not uncommon for me to be attempting to do at least five things at once, with varying degrees of success. Just last week, I dropped one of the many balls I’d been juggling and ended up in a teary heap after the school run; clearly, multitasking isn’t working for me.

There’s evidence to support my theory that multitasking is actually making life more difficult for us all. Here’s the lowdown on why you shouldn’t feel bad for doing one thing at a time.

Why multitasking doesn’t work

In our fast-paced, hectic lives, we’re all guilty of trying to do many different things at the same time. In fact, with a focus on productivity and output, it’s pretty much #LifeGoals to have a million things on the go.

But neuroscience disagrees. “For the vast majority of people and situations, when we think we are multitasking, we are most likely to be attention switching instead,” explains neurologist Dr Faye Begeti, aka @the_braindoctor. “Rather than doing two tasks simultaneously, we are instead quickly switching our attention from one to another very rapidly.⁠”

The result is reduced, rather than improved performance.

It’s not effective

“Rather than being productive, multitasking is actually counterproductive and efficiency is much reduced,” warns Begeti. “In addition to the reduced time efficiency, it takes greater effort to continuously attention-switch than it does to complete tasks sequentially, as it increases load on our working memory which is a finite resource and that extra cognitive load may be very mentally draining.”

And there’s more bad news…

You’re not as good at it as you think you are

“Multitasking has been the subject of a lot of research, with practically universal agreement that it’s an inefficient process for our brain,” says Begeti. “Research shows that the perception of ability to multitask was highly inflated, with significantly more participants estimating that their multitasking ability was above average. This indicates that we have an inflated perception of our ability to multitask.”

Different tasks use different parts of our brains

“Complex tasks rely on a part of the brain called the prefrontal cortex,” explains Begeti. “It’s simply not possible to do complex tasks concurrently, so our brain switches between them instead.”

Simple, habitual tasks, however, can be completed simultaneously, which is why it’s perfectly possible to be drinking your morning latte while walking to work chatting to a friend. So it’s important to think about exactly what it is you’re trying to achieve when you’re feeling swamped.

What about media multitasking? 

If you’re one of those people who can’t concentrate on a TV show without also scrolling on your phone, or you’re guilty of checking social media every five minutes while you’re working, you’ll be interested to read (if you can focus for long enough) that you’re not alone.

“Media multitasking is a specific type of multitasking where two types of media are used simultaneously,” explains Begeti. “Studies show that those who are heavy media multitaskers perform at the same level as light media multitaskers when no other distractions are present,” she says, “However, when distractions are introduced, heavy media multitaskers are unable to ignore them and their performance worsens. It then continues to worsen as more distractions are introduced.”

So, you may think you’re concentrating on The Crown, but googling Jonny Lee Miller at the same time is distracting you.

What can we do instead? 

Try the exact opposite: monotasking. “It’s OK to give our brains some space in an increasingly demanding world,” advises Begeti. “Having time to think can lead to new ideas and connections – that’s why you can have great ideas in the shower.”

It’s a form of mindfulness

Ever feel guilty that you’re not making time for mindfulness and meditation? There’s good news.

“Singletasking can also be a form of mindfulness,” says Begeti. “For example, the other day I was folding up baby laundry, a daily occurrence for me currently due to a very vomitty baby, and it was incredible to notice how small everything was and enjoy being present in the moment of looking after a tiny human, who won’t be so tiny forever. It was an experience that would have passed me by if my attention was elsewhere.”

Two birds, one stone.

When and how to multitask  

That’s not to say that we can’t ever do more than one thing at a time; there are specific scenarios where multitasking is relatively simple for our brains. Begeti advises there are specific criteria for safe multitasking.

When it makes a task more enjoyable

Enjoy listening to a podcast whilst cleaning the house? Go right ahead. “I personally most commonly multitask by listening to podcasts while I’m doing household chores,” says Begeti. “While I don’t get as much out of what I’m listening to and my cleaning speed is likely reduced, I find it’s worth it to make monotonous tasks more enjoyable.

When performance is not important

“Multitasking will always impair performance,” advises Begeti, “Just because we are able to multitask, it doesn’t mean that we should.” But if no one is going to care if the task you’re busy with isn’t done perfectly, then it’s OK to let your mind wander to other jobs.

When a task is straightforward and repetitive 

Frequently tasks such as household chores can be carried out using the habitual part of our brains, so we’re essentially on autopilot, therefore not putting undue stress on our grey matter.

When our job absolutely requires it

Emergency workers such as doctors and firefighters clearly need to be able to think fast. “⁠Some jobs require us to multitask or, more accurately, attention-switch, where we flick our attention between multiple things,” explains Begeti. “This is definitely the case in my day job where I manage multiple patients and constantly prioritise according to urgency. That being said, while this is important in dealing with emergencies, a complex diagnosis will still necessitate giving the patient my undivided attention.”

Put simply, the majority of us could do with less attention-switching behaviour and more monotasking. Something to bear in mind over the festive season, and beyond – if only for your brain’s sake.

Original article here

A ‘twin flame’ doesn’t always refer to a romantic relationship, but it’s a term that refers to people that share something bigger. If you’ve ever met someone whom you instantly connect to, as if you were always destined to meet, even if you’re unsure quite why, they may be your twin flame.

Twin flame relationships tend to be intense—it’s someone with whom you have a profound spiritual connection to, with traits often compared to soul mates. While both describe a life-changing relationship, the two concepts are described as being entirely different.

The term ‘twin flame’ was first coined in the ’70s by Elizabeth Clare Prophet, the leader and founder of an international New Age religious organisation called The Church Universal and Triumphant (CUT). She also published the book Soul Mates and Twin Flames: The Spiritual Dimension of Love and Relationships.

However, the concept can be traced to the fifth century BC. According to Greek mythology, humans originally had a head with two faces, two pairs of arms and two pairs of legs. However, Zeus feared their power and split them into two separate parts. The pair spends their lives in search of their other half: their twin flame.

So what, exactly, does the term twin flame mean? And, perhaps, more importantly, how do you know when you’ve found yours?

What is a twin flame?

The concept of a perfect, destined partner is certainly a nice one. But what does it actually mean?

According to astrologer Patty Kamson, it’s a lot like what it sounds like. “Imagine meeting someone who feels like they are your soul’s mirror,” she says. “Someone who reflects your deepest self, lights up your spirit and challenges you like no one else. That’s a twin flame.”

However, a twin flame is not exactly a soulmate. “Unlike soulmates, who come into your life to support and grow with you (and yes, you can have more than one soulmate), a twin flame is the person who shares your soul,” she says. “It’s like two halves of the same whole—two flames burning from the same spark. The connection is intense and can be as tumultuous as it is transformative.”

Kamson points to Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly as an example. The pair have spoken about their twin flame connection in the past. Kamson sums up, “It’s that electric feeling of being deeply understood, yet constantly pushed to grow. Meeting your twin flame isn’t about finding someone who completes you, but rather, someone who pushes you to evolve into your best self.”

Can you have more than one twin flame?

Although we can all have plenty of wonderful connections in our lives, you can only have one true twin flame, according to the theory. “It’s often believed that a twin flame is your soul’s other half, making the connection rare and uniquely special,” says Kamson.

Sometimes, we may never meet our twin flame but we can still find a soulmate. “A soulmate brings deep support, love and companionship, often arriving when you need them most,” she says. “Soulmates can come in the form of friends, partners or even family members, and they’re there to share in your journey, offering comfort and connection without necessarily challenging you to the core the way a twin flame does.”

How do you know when you have met your twin flame?

Recognising your twin flame isn’t as simple as swiping right on a dating app. “It’s not just about chemistry or attraction, it’s a soul-level connection that’s pretty unmistakable,” says Kamson.

These are the signs to look out for:

1. Instant recognition: When you meet your twin flame, it feels like you’ve known them forever, even if you just met. The connection is instant, deep and sometimes overwhelming. It’s as if your soul recognises them before your mind even catches up. Ever lock eyes with someone and feel like, “Wait… do I know you?” That’s the Twin Flame vibe.
2. Intense magnetic pull: You can’t stay away from each other, even if you try. It’s like a gravitational pull between your energies—whether you’re together or apart, you feel each other’s presence.
3. Emotional rollercoaster: Buckle up, because twin flame relationships are not for the faint of heart. The highs are incredible, but the lows can be just as intense. Your twin flame will challenge you to face your deepest insecurities and fears, and that’s part of the growth. One moment, you feel like you’re on top of the world; the next, you’re questioning everything. It’s all part of the process of self-discovery and healing.
4. The mirror effect: Your twin flame reflects both your light and your shadow. They show you parts of yourself that you didn’t even realise existed—both the beautiful and the messy. It’s like having a mirror held up to your soul. This can feel both exhilarating and confronting because it forces you to see and heal the parts of yourself you’ve been avoiding. If you’ve ever had someone trigger you in a way no one else could, you might be dealing with twin flame energy.
5. Push and pull dynamic: Twin flame relationships often have a runner and chaser dynamic. One person might feel overwhelmed and pull away, while the other feels an intense need to reconnect. This push and pull can be frustrating, but it’s a sign that both individuals are going through personal growth. It’s like a dance, with each person taking turns leading and following as they evolve.

What are the dangers of a twin flame relationship?

As powerful as this connection is, it can come with its own set of challenges. Sometimes, you might not actually be compatible with your twin flame. The pressure to make it work can be immense and you might end up fighting for a relationship that isn’t actually good for you in the long run.

How to deal with a breakup with your twin flame

Yes, sometimes, you and your twin flame may not stay together. The heartbreak of this breakup can feel almost impossible to deal with. “It can feel like part of your soul has been ripped open, and moving on feels impossible,” Kamson says. “But here’s the thing—twin flame breakups, while painful, are often part of the journey.”

Here’s how she recommends managing the transition.

1. Honour the pain but see the growth: The pain is real, but it’s also an opportunity for massive growth. The separation allows both people to heal, learn and evolve individually. It’s important to honour the emotions that come with the breakup, but also recognise the lessons and personal transformation it’s pushing you toward. This isn’t just a breakup; it’s a soul-level transformation.
2. Lean into self-care: After a twin flame breakup, your energy might feel drained and your emotions all over the place. This is the time to lean into self-care like never before. Surround yourself with people who love and support you, and focus on activities that ground you. Meditation, journaling and spending time in nature can help you reconnect with yourself.
3. Accept that separation might be temporary: Twin flames often go through cycles of separation and reunion. Just because you’re apart now doesn’t mean it’s the end forever. Sometimes the separation is necessary for each person to grow and heal before coming back together. And sometimes, the separation is permanent, but that doesn’t mean the love or the connection wasn’t real. Trust the process and know that whatever happens is part of your soul’s journey.
4. Focus on your own evolution: The best way to move forward from a twin flame breakup is to focus on your own growth. What did this relationship teach you about yourself? How can you use that wisdom to evolve into the next version of yourself? Remember, the whole point of a twin flame connection is personal growth and awakening. It’s not just about the relationship—it’s about you.

Original article here