Ash la Reina

2016-07-27T09:47:00.001-07:00

2016-07-27T05:34:00.002-07:00

Starseed University

2016-07-25T10:33:00.001-07:00

Hello everyone my new blog talk show is coming in September. September 10 at 11p.m. please tune in and share knowledge of science and the occult and listen in. www.youtube.com/channel/UCxEloU1PtY0cyWtfsB9ujhA

Nappy hair under the Mirror/Microscope

2011-12-09T18:39:00.000-08:00

When I choose to wear wigs, makeup, dress up clothes and shoes I do it as an expression of myself. This is an expression of who I see when I look in the mirror flaws that I try to cover that the mirror reveals like a microscope. It is also an expression of myself when I choose not to wear those things, when I put away of what's phony and false it is an Artistic expression of who you don't see but who I see inside. If you cannot handle the truth and I have to hide behind false mental images of yours then you are doing harm to me, by trying to make me ashamed of who I am. You want to cover me up, and disguise me. You'll never see the truth but you cannot escape it. It's your choice to accept me for the real person I am or hide in your mind behind reasons why you cannot except the truth. I live in harmony with the truth and I am freer than you will allow your mind to be. Fear of myself does not live here I embrace what is mine own. Each and every beautiful nap it is all mine. Beautiful brown skin it is all me. I love me.

The Third World.

2011-11-06T10:57:00.000-08:00

I woke up today with such an inner peace. A very slow still quiet. Normally when I open my eyes its always to such chaos but this morning was different I realized I was actually a few days ahead of time. I start my job in less than 3 days and when I woke up today I woke up to order. Sighs. What a load off. I have a few friends to reach out to today. I wanna hear from my cousin down in Houston and my 2 cousins on my dad's side. But I haven't talked to my best friend and that bothers me. Monday or Moon day which ever it is or isn't. I spend caring for myself and others, it's humbling and vanity at the same time but that's what the day is about. Tuesday is always the day you grind the hardest It is the day of being tested. Wednesday is quote unquote hump day but that's my Friday. I have no need for a Wednesday, I combine that with Tuesday and Thursday after 6p.m. I take the rest of the week off. I get 3 whole days to spend with the kids. By Monday I am ready for them to go off to school again. But I can't stop the clock I can only jump around. If I could stop the clock I would stop it at this very hour so the kids will be children forever so I could be a mommy and Tony can be their daddy forever. I would stop it right before our oldest turns 13 so he can be that 12 year old little boy always. Annie could be 3 for a lifetime, and Anthony and Antwaun could trick or treat every year. Instead, we all are getting older. As each day passes we jump further and further ahead of this time, but at this point we have to be careful because time could eventually be out of days to jump too. Once you go forward you can't turn back.

Joyful Chaos.

2011-11-05T18:47:00.000-07:00

I woke up feeling like not getting out of bed I laid around then the phone started up ugh! I talked to a few people talked to Tony and got up from that point on I haven't sat down again until 9:00 p.m. What a day! I was able to pay bills and shop for the kids, but I also snuck in a surprise I ordered my husband a birthday cake bought ballons and grabbed some cards. We went up to the hospital and when we walked in he was sleeping lastnight a nurse made a med error and they had to give him medication to revive him while in dialysis. So earlier he couldn't have anything. We came in and he was SURPRISED! "You brought ballons?" "You brought cake? " "I never had a birthday cake." "I knew it that's why I bought you one a Smurf cake since I somewhat resemble smurfette with this blonde wig." We laughed Thank God your 37. We love you Dad it read. He enjoyed it and I'm glad. I hope it makes the decision to stay a little longer and endure sickness an easier one for him. That's a constant battle on his mind one he'd rather not have to make. I told him just wait on God let him say when for now enjoy us enjoy everyday. So I have to put more into each day laugh more live more listen more and love more.Time. Peace.

What falls down must be rebuilt.

2011-11-04T18:55:00.000-07:00

Today started off a hard day and ended harder. It was especially bad following a day like yesterday. Damn soon as I start typing the phone rings. It's a family member showing some much needed love and support. I am externally grateful really really thankful for moments like these. I can hold my head up a lil higher and it helps hold back the tears longer. I talked to my mom today she said "Ash Thank you for being so classy and about yours I appreciate that". I laughed like wow that was interesting. I feel like whoever this person I was before has been totally demolished and rebuilt. Something like your structure and foundations had been on faulty ground so it crumbles. You have to then go somewhere else and build it again but this time you have a set of instructions. They are more precise and complicated your spot is more careful chosen (You take your time and create a blue print from a rough draft) It's parameters closely guarded. Inhabitants more selected. You have to protect what you have I will protect mine with my life and give them my heart freely. The walls surrounding the fortress always have to be strongest. But inside is where you can roam free and be secure. My 10 mins is up. Peace until next time.