Ask A. Fox

Big Pimpin'

2011-06-09T14:32:00.003-04:00

Hi Alyse,

I just started working at a popular clothing store. Most of our customers are between 16 and 24 years old and a lot of our customers are guys come in and buy our Jean. My boss recently gave my number to one of the customers after he agreed to buy $200 worth of clothing. Later my boss started calling me at home to tell me to wear sexy dress before I came in to work because there were a lot of men in the store. I don't know whether he is my pimp or my boss!

Pimped in Joliet, IL

Hi Pimped,

Your boss’s behavior is illegal. He has violated several employment laws and you need to begin by documenting his behavior. You should, of course, remove yourself from the situation as soon as possible, giving out your phone number puts you in a potentially dangerous situation. If your company has a human resources department, they should be made aware of the situation but not before you contact an attorney. Unfortunately, when presented with this type of miscreant behavior, companies and/or human resource departments will try to make it seem as though you are a problem employee. That is why it is important to document all occurrences, including phone calls and speak with an attorney before notifying the company. Also be sure to keep all copies of your positive performance/sales reviews and don’t do anything that might later be used against you. Pimpin’ is illegal and you don’t have to take it.

~Over the last three years I’ve been broke, dumped and pimped.~ Toni Braxton

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“A” is for Attractive

2011-06-08T11:28:00.002-04:00

Hi Alyse,

I'm not jobseeker but I am a recruiter looking for advice. One of my clients has consistently said to me that he is looking for, "A" candidates. After sending in a number of candidates I now understand that, "A", stands for attractive. I can send in highly qualified candidates and they will be rejected not because of appearance but because of attractiveness. I can send in dimwits who score a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10 (in attractiveness), and they get the job every time. Some of the highly qualified candidates don't understand why they didn't get the job and I still haven't figured out what to tell them. What do I do?

Troubled in Seattle, WA

Hi Troubled,

You do have a dilemma, how do you fill positions based on qualifications when the hiring manager seems to be interested in physical attributes? I don't know how long you have been in the business but hiring managers come and go. You do want to continue sending in a variety of candidates, including the highly qualified ones. You want to make sure that you continue to conduct yourself and your business with the highest level of integrity. With respect to your candidates, be sure to let them know prior to the interview process that there are a myriad of factors that will determine whether or not they are made an offer. If you set their expectations properly and suggest that the hiring manager is a tough sell then the candidate will not be so upset when they do not move on in the process or if they do not receive an offer. There's also nothing wrong with letting the candidates know that their grooming can make a difference. Advising the gentleman to dress professionally, obtain fresh haircuts and advising the women to also dress professionally will allow you to put your candidates in the best possible position for getting the job. In the meantime, I would also suggest that you continue to look for other clients who appreciate the highly qualified candidate and not just the attractive one.

~ Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical. ~ Sophia Loren

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Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

2011-06-07T13:55:00.004-04:00

Hi Alyse,

I work for a private education company that serves children. My boss is a real "results oriented" type of boss. I've been working here for three months and I'm starting to understand that he always wants me to report positive results. He hasn't come out and said so but I think he wants me to lie about how well the kids are doing. I'm not that kind of person and I haven't made any numbers but what do I do if we get to the point where he asks me to lie?

Moral dilemma in Alpharetta, GA

Hi Moral,

You are in a situation unfortunately shared by many people. On the one hand, given that you've only been there three months, you want to please your boss and be an asset to the organization. On the other hand, it looks like being an asset means compromising your values. This is the situation you will have to remove yourself from. Data manipulation is fraud and depending on whom is receiving this manipulated data, can be considered a crime. If you are the one who actually manipulates the data, if your employer says that you did so without provocation and against company policy, you may be liable. Since your boss has not expressed to you directly that he wants you to lie, then ignore the innuendos and continue to provide accurate data. In order to protect yourself, you should also bcc yourself on e-mail and print out copies of them. Whenever you supply the data, also keep a copy for yourself and note when you supplied the accurate data. In the event that you are asked directly to manipulate data, your answer is no.

Make yourself an honest man, and then you may be sure there is one less rascal in the world. ~Thomas Carlyle

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Tequila Sunrise

2008-06-19T13:19:00.009-04:00

Hi Alyse,

I work for a small advertising firm just outside of Chicago and it's one of those 7 days a week, 80 hours a week type of jobs. I love my job so I don't mind. I finally took some time off last week and decided to head out to Oak Street Beach. I went with a couple of girlfriends, had a couple of tequila's and a GREAT time. Every thing was perfect except for this loser than kept eyeing me, I finally let him buy me a drink and took his number just to get him off my back. I don't think the number made it off the beach. Monday morning, I'm back at work feeling refreshed and ready to go for a meeting with a new client. Alyse, the loser was the client! I was hoping the ground would open up and take me but that didn't happen. He made it a point to tell everyone that we met on the beach and that it must be fate. My boss, the pig, ignored my dirty looks, told the loser I would be working personally with him and said, "whatever you kids do on your own time is your business". I felt like I was being pimped. Please help, this is a big client for the firm and my boss took away my no fraternization policy argument.

Pimped in Chicago, IL

Hey Pimped,

First, I can tell you that things would go a lot smoother if you would stop thinking of him as "the loser" and start thinking of him as "the client". Let him know that while you are flattered by his interest, you have a personal, no fraternization policy with past, present and future clients. That way you leave him with no hope for the future and you let him down because he is a client, not a "loser".

A. Fox
Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds. (Franklin D. Roosevelt)

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Express Yourself

2008-06-17T12:18:00.005-04:00

Hi Alyse,

I work in a Hair Salon and it gets REALLY hot especially in the summertime. I'm on my feet all day and I sweat a lot when I get hot. My boss sold the salon to his sister and she came in today, pulled me aside and told me that I'd have to wear a jacket to cover up my tattoos! The reason I became a Hair Stylist is so that I could express myself and help other people express themselves, I got these tattoos before I started working. There's no way I can work in a jacket, how do I tell her no and still keep my job?

Suppressed in Los Angeles, CA

Hey Suppressed,

While you are certainly free to express yourself, you are not free to express yourself in anyway at someone else's business. Since you are not writing the paycheck, you are subject the to rules (that may change) of the business that is writing the check. You have many options but here are two - either get a jacket that you can work in or find a way to be the one writing the checks. Only by writing your own check will you be entitled to express yourself.

A. Fox
Anyone can revolt. It is more difficult silently to obey your own inner promptings, and to
spend our lives finding sincere and fitting means of expression for our temperament and
our gifts. (Georges Rouault)

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Can you Hear Me Now?

2008-06-10T09:02:00.004-04:00

Hi Alyse,

I was ratted out at work by someone who I thought was a friend. I met him at work and he's always been cool. My friend asked me to borrow my cell phone to make a call and of course, I let him use the phone. When he finished his call, he must have pressed the "end" button and saw the pictures I had on my phone. Later that day, I get written up (one more and I will be fired because I already have one write up) for having indecent pictures on my phone. The thing is, it's MY phone! If I want to have adult pictures on my phone, that's my business. I wasn't going around showing the pictures to everybody, I only gave him the phone because he asked. I don't think I should have been written up - What do you think?

Betrayed in Brookings, OR

Hey Betrayed,

Obviously you and your "friend" had a bad connection. What made you think you were friends? Friends are people who are there for you in the good times and the bad, you need to reevaluate your definition of a friend. This individual is your co-worker and might have been offended by the pictures (again you really don't know this friend that well after all). You seem to think that it was inappropriate for you to be written up, what was inappropriate was having those pictures on your phone at work. It is no different than having an adult magazine in your desk at work - not appropriate. Clearly, being written up did not demonstrate to you the error of your ways, hopefully, you can hear me, now.

A. Fox
Never explain, your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.
(Elbert Hubbard)

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Vehicular Assault - Innocent Until Proven Guilty?

2008-06-09T09:00:00.005-04:00

Hi Alyse,

I been looking for a job for over a year, I make it past the first interview but it doesn't get past a background check. I checked my references and they were fine and then I checked my background and found out that there were all these charges on there. A year ago I accidentally rolled over someones foot with my car and was charged with Vehicular Assault - I swerved to avoid another car in the mall parking lot and that's how I ended up rolling over her foot. The person who I was avoiding of course drove away and the woman whose foot I ran over conveniently doesn't remember why I swerved. I thought I was innocent until proven guilty so why are these charges on my record? This thing snowballed, the case is pending so I can't get my record expunged - what do I do?

Charged in Austin, TX

Hey Charged,

This is tough, you would have to speak with your attorney about how you can go about removing this information from your record. Unfortunately, the idea that you are Innocent Until Proven Guilty is simply not the reality of the world in which we live. The term is not a codified nor explicit "law" - in the United States the idea behind the presumption of innocence is held to "follow" from the 5th, 6th and 14th Amendments of the Constitution. Even the idea of presumption does not prevent the information from appearing on a background check and being used against you. In addition, charges like "vehicular assault" simply don't read well. When you go into a job interview, if they request that you fill out a form authorizing them to conduct a background check, let them know that you had a car accident a year ago and someone was hurt accidentally - the case is being resolved in court and while you are sure it will be resolved in your favor, they will find information related to the case on your background. Be sure to let them (assuming it is true) that you have no obligations related to this case that will make it difficult for you to complete all the duties the job requires and that you will not need time off because of the case. Find out now what you are going to need to do in order to remove this information from your record so that you can start the process as soon as possible. You might have to go a few more job interviews but you will find greater success being upfront.

A. Fox

When they took the fourth amendment, I was silent because I don't deal drugs. When they took the sixth amendment, I kept quiet because I know I'm innocent. When they took the second amendment, I said nothing because I don't own a gun. Now they've come for the first amendment, and I can't say anything at all. (Tim Freeman)

Graduate School - To Go or not to go, that is the question

2008-06-05T09:00:00.001-04:00

Hey Alyse,

I graduated from college last year with a BA in Communications. I am a little disappointed in my job options and pay and started thinking about going to graduate school either for my Masters or maybe even law school. I still have some college loans I'm paying off and am going to need a combination of scholarships and loans to go to graduate school. I'm kind of scared though about having to pay all that money back - what do you think?

Broke in Lawrenceville, NJ

Hey Broke!

At the risk of sounding like Suze Orman, let's take a look at the numbers. According to an article recently written in the Wall Street Journal, graduate school costs have skyrocketed 240% in the last 20 years (see article below). In the last 20 years wages have either stagnated or declined as a result of inflation. $120,000 worth of student loans will cost you roughly $700 - $1,000 a month depending on the interest rate over the course of 20 to 30 years. With regards to your financial prospects upon graduating from law school, you really have to do your homework. A top tier law school (Harvard, Columbia, NYU School of Law) for example will land you a position in a top tier law firm (for example White & Case, Proskauer Rose LLP or Cadwalder Wickersham & Taft) making around $145,000 - $160,000 (this is an estimate - the number goes up almost every year). A government lawyer (Assistant D. A., etc.) can expect a starting salary around $60,000. There are some lawyers who are making what you are making now. There are no guarantees with regards to your salary upon graduation and like anything else, it is a risk. I can not tell you what to do, but I will say that you need to check the numbers and make sure they work for you.

A. Fox
What is important is to keep learning, to enjoy challenge, and to tolerate ambiguity. In the end there are no certain answers. Martina Horner - President of Radcliffe College

Betting on Grad School

by Shelly Banjo
Tuesday, April 29, 2008provided by

What's graduate school really worth?

A sluggish economy and hiring slowdown has led many twentysomethings to consider heading back to school. But amid rising tuition costs and a generation-wide accumulation of debt, is graduate school financially worth it?

The cost of graduate school has skyrocketed, rising 60% in the past decade according to the Council of Graduate Schools. A one-year master's degree in political management at George Washington University can cost $38,000. Harvard tells law-school students to plan for $62,000 a year for tuition, living and food costs.

A medical degree at Northwestern University? About $241,000, including $168,000 for tuition. The typical 2008 medical-school graduate will start her career about $150,000 in debt, says the Virginia-based American Medical Student Association, and will spend 20 to 30 years paying it off.

After graduating from Boston University in 2001, 28-year-old classmates Zach Dubey and Aaron Plitt took out loans and enrolled in separate law schools. Today they lead very different lives.

While Mr. Dubey works at a law firm in New York, Mr. Plitt left law school after three semesters and is now a broker in a steel-services company.

"I realized that staying in school just to finish was not worthwhile," says Mr. Plitt who now makes about 50% more than Mr. Dubey.

Grad school has to be "intentional and purposeful," says Peter Vogt, president of Career Planning Resources in Bloomington, Minn. Do not apply with thoughts of riding out the economy or figuring out a career path, he says, because "that is an expensive risk."

Before even looking into graduate schools, narrow in on specific jobs you want. Dig deeper than just a career in business, law or medicine. What industries in business or subsets of law or medicine interest you? Find out if those jobs require or prefer a professional degree by contacting professional organizations and people who work in those fields.

When evaluating a degree program, call the schools and research how many graduates actually land the jobs they wanted. Ask about their salary levels. These numbers may vary greatly by school and profession with bottom-tier schools commanding similar tuitions but smaller future earnings.

Before you borrow, consider how much school debt you will be able to afford. Lawyer Zach Dubey says he is happy at his firm, but he still lives with his parents because "I can't pay rent and afford to pay my loans off."

Using the Student Loan Advisor calculator on his Web site, FinAid.org, publisher Mark Kantrowitz says loan payments shouldn't take more than 10% to 15% of your income. Go to the Bureau of Labor Statistic's www.bls.gov and human resources data firm Salary.com to find earnings estimates and salaries by profession.

Two Weeks Notice

2008-06-04T09:00:00.002-04:00

Hey Alyse,

I hate my job. I work for a company whose motto seems to be "MORE, MORE, MORE" work but no MORE pay! I don't think I can stay here another day. The thing is I am the only person working in my family and have to take care of all the bills. I started looking for other jobs a couple of weeks ago and have been on some promising interviews. I don't have any offers yet but today, I put in my two weeks notice. I couldn't believe it when they accepted my resignation immediately! I'm so PO'd! Can they do that?

Shocked in Waldorf, MD

Hi Shocked!

I'm sorry to report that they can do that - Maryland is an at will employment state see below:

In Maryland, employees work "at the will" of their employers. This means, in the absence of an express contract, agreement or policy to the contrary, an employee may be hired or fired for almost any reason -- whether fair or not -- or for no reason at all.

HOWEVER, you should never give your two weeks notice without 1. considering the possibility that it will be accepted immediately and 2. already having another job. Have you considered the possibility that it might just take you a lot longer to find a job? Are you aware of the statistics that indicate clearly now is not the time to make haste employment decisions? Are you going to need a reference from the job you "hate" and do you think you are going to get a good one? If you do a quick check on how long it takes to find another job, you will find that it is taking sometimes as long as 3 or 4 months. I would suggest that you 1. make sure that you can get good references from your most recent position and smooth any feathers you have have ruffled 2. hit the pavement, don't just post your resume online 3. let your network of friends, co-workers, etc. know that you are in the job market and finally 4. shift your perspective on giving your two weeks notice - next time, try to be a little more patient.

A. Fox
"A handful of Patience is worth more than an bushel of brains." Dutch Proverb

The Problem with Background Checks

2008-06-02T12:12:00.002-04:00

I came across this article today from Business Week - very interesting, it illustrates why it is so important to check your own background and references (one company that does both is Workkrow.com) - given today's tightening job market, employers are getting more and more selective and they have access to inexpensive tools to help them their hiring decisions. This is just part of the article.

In Depth May 29, 2008, 5:00PM EST text size: T T

The Trouble with Background Checks

Employee screening has become a big business, but not always an accurate one

by Chad Terhune

Theodore Pendergrass was shocked in November, 2006, when the Walgreens (WAG) pharmacy chain rejected his application for a store supervisor job. The company told him a background-screening firm called ChoicePoint (CPS) reported that a past employer had accused him of "cash register fraud and theft of merchandise" totaling $7,313. "I wanted to cry," Pendergrass says. The $4 billion business of background screening is booming. Companies large and small are sorting mostly mid- and lower-level job applicants based on information compiled by ChoicePoint, its major rivals, and hundreds of smaller competitors. Some employers have grown more vigilant about hiring since the September 11 terrorist attacks. Others like the efficiency of outsourcing tasks once handled by in-house human resources departments or bosses who simply picked up the phone themselves. Whatever their motives, employers are becoming more dependent on mass-produced background reports that rely heavily on anonymous, and sometimes inaccurate or unfair, sources.

Pendergrass' difficulties stemmed from a previous job at Rite Aid (RAD). By late 2005, when he was 25 years old, he had reached the first rung of management as a shift supervisor in a Rite Aid store in Philadelphia. His bosses trusted him to oversee cashiers, bank deposits, and merchandise deliveries. Then, in January, 2006, a store official accused him of stealing goods and underpaying for DVDs. He denied the accusations, but the official said police were waiting outside to arrest him if he did not confess. Pendergrass wrote a statement but wouldn't admit to theft. He was soon fired anyway.

Later, at a hearing for unemployment compensation, Pendergrass was vindicated. A state labor referee ruled that Rite Aid had not proved its allegations and awarded him nearly $1,000 in benefits. But Rite Aid had already submitted its theft report to a database used by more than 70 retailers and run by ChoicePoint, the largest screening firm for corporate employers in the U.S. Based in a leafy Atlanta suburb, ChoicePoint says it checks applicants for more than half of the country's 100 biggest companies, including Bank of America (BAC), UnitedHealth Group (UNH), and United Parcel Service (UPS). Because of Pendergrass' tainted ChoicePoint file, retailers CVS Caremark (CVS) and Target (TGT) also rejected him for jobs.

Pendergrass, now 27, makes lattes at a Starbucks (SBUX) in Philadelphia. The coffee chain doesn't use a screening firm for entry-level hires. Pendergrass earns $17,000 a year, or 30% less than he did at Rite Aid, and fears his career has been derailed. "I worked hard in that store, and none of this stuff was true," he says. "I would be locked up somewhere if I stole $7,000."

Rite Aid declines to comment. A ChoicePoint spokeswoman says the company's background report merely conveyed information provided by a former employer.

FAT PROFITS

Background screening has become a highly profitable corner of the HR world. At the screening division of First Advantage (FADV), based in Poway, Calif., profits soared 47% last year, to $29 million; revenue grew 20%, to $233 million. HireRight (HIRE), based in Irvine, Calif., reported that earnings jumped 44%, to $9 million, last year on revenues of $69 million. To grab a piece of this growing market, Reed Elsevier Group (RUK), the Anglo-Dutch information provider, agreed to acquire ChoicePoint for $4.

1 billion in February—at a 50% premium to its stock price.

Industry surveys show why Reed Elsevier was eager to expand its screening business. In a 2004 study by the Society for Human Resource Management, 96% of personnel executives said their companies conduct background checks on job candidates, up from 51% in 1996. Two-thirds of larger companies say they outsource screening, and many now vet current employees in addition to applicants.

Screening often goes far beyond the familiar checking of public criminal records. For $60 to $80 per applicant, ChoicePoint and its rivals assemble digital dossiers of educational degrees and credit histories as well as interviews with friends, past bosses, and colleagues. Call-center workers wearing headsets inquire about work habits, personal character, and drug or alcohol problems. Just by dint of their heft and permanence, the proprietary data caches they compile can seem authoritative, even though the information sometimes contains errors, innuendos, or outright falsehoods.

"You won't believe what people tell you," says Mary Beth Gotshall, who has done interviews since 1999 at Employment Background Investigations, a midsize firm in Owings Mills, Md. She and colleagues have collected comments from a father who said he would never rehire his son because he had missed so much work at a family business. Another former boss accused an applicant of stealing and demanded Employment Background help find him. (The firm declined.) "We put everything in there," Gotshall says while juggling employment checks for retailer Ikea, a Pittsburgh medical clinic, and a Texas engineering firm. Her boss, Richard Kurland, chief executive of Employment Background, says the company goes to great lengths to be accurate. "We have a huge responsibility to mankind," he adds.

But Lester Rosen, a veteran in the industry and president of Employment Screening Resources in Novato, Calif., says: "Essentially, it's the Wild, Wild West. It's an unregulated industry with easy money and not a huge emphasis on compliance or on hiring quality people" to do the screening.

Theron Carter, a 61-year-old unemployed truck driver in Middleville, Mich., is waiting for his name to be cleared in a database used widely in the transportation business. In May, 2006, a U.S. Labor Dept. administrative law judge ruled that Carter was wrongly terminated by Marten Transport (MRTN) for making legitimate complaints about the safety of his 18-wheel truck. He had hauled loads for the Mondovi (Wis.) company for only two weeks before being fired in June, 2005. The judge awarded him more than $31,000 in damages and back pay and ordered Marten Transport to delete "any unfavorable work record information" in a report compiled by USIS, a large screening company in Falls Church, Va. Once an arm of the federal Office of Personnel Management, USIS was privatized in 1996. It still screens government workers and runs an employment-history database used by 2,500 transport companies called Drive-A-Check, or DAC.

Despite his legal victory, Carter's DAC report still says Marten Transport dismissed him for "excessive complaints" and a "company policy violation." "No one will hire me," says Carter, who withdrew $50,000 from retirement savings to support his wife and himself. Trucking company J.B. Hunt Transport Services (JBHT) "told me I had excessive complaints and wouldn't hire me. I told them I won my case." Hunt declines to comment.

Marten Transport has appealed the Labor Dept. ruling. A company attorney, Stephen DiTullio, says it would be "fraudulent" for the carrier to remove the reference to excessive grievances from Carter's DAC file. "That was an accurate portrayal of what led to his termination," DiTullio says. Marten Transport has addressed Carter's safety concerns, he adds.

John Griffith, 47, won a similar Labor Dept. ruling in October, 2003, against his former employer, Atlantic Inland Carrier.

The administrative law judge ruled that the company wrongly fired Griffith in December, 2001, for complaining about the safety of his truck and ordered Atlantic Inland to remove unfavorable information from his DAC record.

Someone at Atlantic Inland—it's not clear who—had told DAC that Griffith was terminated and not eligible to be rehired because of his grievances. The company eventually deleted that information in January, 2004—more than two years after it was posted. During that time, Griffith says, it was hard to find trucking work. The Aiken (S.C.) resident turned to lower-paying odd jobs, although he recently got back behind the wheel making deliveries for a nursery. "Truck drivers live and die by DAC," he says. "They can ruin a driver's career with a few clicks of their mouse."

LIVING IN FEAR

USIS declines to comment on any specific cases. Gripes about its database have made "DAC" a popular verb in the industry, with drivers lamenting they have "been DAC-ed." Responding to the anxiety surrounding the database, USIS officials have defended their methods on radio interview shows aimed at truckers. They argue that screening is legally required, generally accurate, and keeps bad drivers off the road.

But Kristen Turley, director of market development and communications at USIS' commercial-services unit in Tulsa, concedes that no system is immune to mistakes and misuse. "There is a chance somebody who holds a grudge will put negative information in the database," she says. "We are not trying to blackball drivers or ruin their chance to get a job." When a driver disputes a background report, USIS asks its sources for proof supporting negative comments, she says. USIS doesn't seek such evidence up front. "Ideally that would be a good solution," Turley says, but it could dissuade past employers from submitting information in the first place.

The federal Fair Credit Reporting Act covers background screeners, but it hasn't been aggressively enforced. The law says screeners must use "reasonable procedures" to ensure "maximum possible accuracy." It also requires employers to give a copy of background reports to rejected applicants. An applicant can dispute the information, but the Federal Trade Commission has said employers must wait only five business days before hiring someone else, meaning that objections frequently become moot. Lately the agency has focused more on identity theft than on screening, Rebecca Kuehn, assistant director for privacy and identity protection, says.

Prayer in the Workplace

2008-05-28T08:25:00.004-04:00

Hi Alyse,

I work in a call center where we have morning motivational meetings. The problem is during these meetings my supervisor insists on "saying a prayer". He says things like God will bless us today, May God look favorably on us, etc. He is a devout something or another and I don't have a problem with what he believes but I am an atheist and I kind of resent having to pray in the morning. It's bad enough I can't really tell people I'm an atheist because then I would either be ignored or they would constantly try to convert me (this has happened before). Are there any rules about prayer in the workplace? Should I approach my supervisor? How? HELP!

Frustrated Atheist in Springfield, VA

Hey Frustrated,

This is a complicated topic that is written about extensively - for a sense of the rules involved, see the information below and the link to the webpage discussing the legality of prayer in the workplace. It seems to me that his religious views are being forced upon you and your hesitation seems to point to your belief that you will be harassed because of YOUR beliefs. Contact your HR immediately IN WRITING. Document at least three incidents IN GREAT DETAIL that involve this mandatory morning prayer and request a response regarding whether this is appropriate. In your letter you should frame the question to be whether or not this is proper rather than you feel like your rights are being violated. All you are asking for is mutual respect and you should get it.

A. Fox

Every human being, of whatever origin, of whatever station, deserves respect. We must each respect others even as we respect ourselves. (U. Thant)

http://www.professionalroofing.net/article.aspx?A_ID=854

The extent to which you can or must accommodate prayer in the workplace depends on the nature of the prayer. There are two basic types of prayer: optional prayer said at the discretion of a religion's members and mandatory prayer required by a particular religion.

Optional prayer is permissible in the workplace as long as it is not mandatory; participation (or lack of participation) is not a factor in any employment decision and is not limited to a particular religion.

You can organize voluntary prayer meetings, but to avoid coercion (real or perceived), hold such meetings before or after the workday or during recognized break times. This will minimize pressure on employees who do not wish to join in or who do not share the same beliefs. In addition, clearly state participation in such prayer is optional and declining to participate will not result in adverse treatment or otherwise affect employment. This is particularly important if the prayer occurs during a training session, workplace meeting or other mandatory work activity.

You also must recognize not all employees hold the same beliefs. If employees who hold different beliefs want to have prayer sessions of their own, they must be given an equal opportunity to do so with the same access to prayer sites, same time away from work (paid or unpaid) to pray, and same breaks or other accommodations.

Mandatory prayer is not a matter of choice but a requirement of a particular religion. Muslims, for example, must pray five times per day at specified times in accordance with the sun's cycle and engage in specified washing rituals before each prayer. You are required to provide scheduling considerations to such employees and accommodate the break times necessary to perform these prayers as long as such accommodation does not pose an undue hardship or undue disruption to company operations.

The Chickens Have Come Home to Roost

2008-05-19T13:06:00.004-04:00

Hey Alyse!

I'm am the managing Legal Assistant for a pretty large law firm that is in the process of a major expansion. One of my responsibilities is to hire Legal Assistants for the various departments and of course manage those assistants. Well the other day, a resume came across my desk and once I looked at the name, I realized that I knew the girl. Years ago, when I was just starting out (fresh out of school) I started working at a law firm where she was already working. The relationship did not start off well and she would do petty things to undermine the Associate Lawyer's relationship with me. One day, I asked her to help me out with a procedure I didn't know about and she told me "Honey, right now you're climbing the ladder, and I'm above you, when I see someone below me, I'm not going to put my hand out to help - I'm going to kick my foot out - figure it out yourself". I was shocked, no one has ever said that to me before or since. Now she wants a job, at my firm, working under me - the thing is she is very experienced with great credentials - what do I do?

Climbing the ladder in New York, NY

Hey Climbing,

Leave that resume right where you found it. Do you want someone on your team who obviously does not understand what it means to be a team player? Maybe she has changed but the fact is that past behavior is the best indicator of future behavior. The fact that she will not be employed by your firm is not your fault - the chickens have come home to roost.

A. Fox
If one speaks or acts with a cruel mind, misery follows, as the cart follows the horse... If one speaks or acts with a pure mind, happiness follows, as a shadow follows its source.
the Dhammapada

Need an MBA?

2008-05-14T21:34:00.003-04:00

Hey Alyse,

I have a job interview coming up and I don’t know if I should go. I’ve worked at a few places the last couple of years and I’ve left because the employer made promises that they didn’t keep. One job told me that I would be able to move up really quickly, after six months I was in the same position so I quit. Another job told me that I would make $40,000 a year but after I started working I found out that that included bonuses! I’m tired of people saying one thing to you during the interview but doing something completely different when you start the job, the next job I go to is going to have to really convince me that they are the right fit for me. The recruiter that set up the interview for me isn’t really doing a good job convincing me – should I go?

Job Hunting West Chester, PA

Hey Job Hunting,

Slow down warrior! You have it all wrong – NO employer has to convince you to work for them, they are issuing the paycheck! First, your brief description tells me that you enter into the job relationship with unrealistic expectations and when those expectations aren’t met – you just quit. If you have had 3 jobs in the last few years that makes you a job hopper at best or just a plain old quitter. I don’t think I’m going out on a limb by assuming that you don’t have good job references. Whether you go to the interview or not is entirely up to you, however, what I do suggest you do before going to the interview is to bury your old attitude and get an MBA – Much Better Attitude.

A. Fox

Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives. (William James)

Terry Tate - Office Linebacker?

2008-05-13T08:45:00.003-04:00

Hi Alyse!

I work for a retail company inside of a mall. We work at a kiosk with four stations and we each have our own
money bag. At the end of the day, we put the bags in the safe and lock the safe. We all have the code to the safe.
All four of us who work the stations have been there for over a year and we've never missed a dollar.
We have a new customer service rep who transferred in three weeks ago from another store and everyday, there seems to
be a small amount of money missing from at least one money bag on the day she opens the store. We had
a temp last week and he was missing money the one day he worked - she trained him that day. We each
have had to replace the money ourselves because the bags are supposed to be our responsibility. I haven't seen
her take the money so I can't accuse her but she always seems to be the one with the time and the access.
I don't know her motive but I know she's always complaining about not having any money. Even though she complains about money,
she goes to the local bar every night and the local club every weekend! I've considered putting a spider in my bag so it would
bite the thief when she puts her sticky hands in there but she'd probably turn around and sue me...(Sigh) I need help.

Trying to catch a thief Wilkes Barre, PA

Hey W-B!

What you need is Terry Tate, the office linebacker! LOL!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXzssFPV2WY&feature=related
Everytime she stands near the cash register or touches your bag (boom) - he's right there.

Seriously, someone has to lay down the law - first, report the fact that you are missing money, just one time
(if you seem to be consistently losing money, I know some company's will start looking at you).
Second, if you trust the other people in the booth each of you should take the time to be
the designated Office Linebacker, when she goes near someone's till or goes into the safe, one of you should be right there.
The days that you know she is supposed to open, whoever is scheduled to come in after her should come in early - BEFORE she opens the safe.
Maybe you should suggest to your company that all of you get new money bags with individual keys that each of you would carry separately.
On an evening when you close, assuming she is not closing with you, ask your manager to come in and watch you count your bag before you
place it in the safe, the next day (assuming she is opening) ask your manager to arrive with you to count your bag again. Even if there is no
money missing, she'll either get the message or slip up and get arrested - either way your problem should not go on for long.

A. Fox
"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
George Bernard Shaw

Where'd you park the Delorean?

2008-05-12T21:27:00.001-04:00

Hi Alyse,

I just started a job at this new company and I don’t get paid for four weeks. It’s a step up from my last position and could be considered a promotion. My problem is that everyone wears pants suits everyday, the only pants suit I own is the one I wore to the interview. The nice clothes I have are my church clothes and I started wearing them to work but everyone was looking at me like “where’d you park your Delorean?” I don’t mean to vent but shouldn’t it be okay that I dress neatly – what’s the deal with the pressure?

Pressured in Peoria, IL

Hi Pressured!

Here’s the thing, it seems as though you weren’t really ready for the promotion – did you research the company before you started working to get a sense of the corporate culture? When you went to the interview did you take a look at how everyone was dressed? It seems like you were hit by a car that was coming straight for you! Of course, no use crying over spilled milk; ditch the church clothes and head over to your local Goodwill, Salvation Army or similar store. You should be able to find some suits there. If you don’t have one of those stores, go to any department store and head straight for the clearance isle. It might mean putting some things together but you don’t want the company feeling like you aren’t a good “fit”. You’re going to have to spend some money to keep this job. The old saying the first impression is the lasting impression is true – you don’t want to forever be the Delorean lady.

A. Fox

The way to gain a good reputation is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear. Socrates

Sick Days

2008-05-12T13:22:00.002-04:00

Hi Alyse,

I'm pretty new to my job, I've only been there 4 months and have full benefits including health insurance and sick days. People at my job do not use their sick days - they tell war stories about how they have come into work after falling down stairs the night before, with 100 degree fevers, the list goes on and on. Well the flu is going around and the war hero's in my office of course came to work and of course I got sick - too sick to go to work. I had body shakes, high fever and was incoherent for a couple of days. I stayed home for a couple of days and when I got back to work, it seemed like I was getting the cold shoulder from my colleagues like I broke some kind of code. What's the point of sick days if you don't use them when you're sick? HELP!

Sick and Tired in West Palm Beach, FL

Hey S&T,

Whatever your company culture, you, being the new kid on the block can not change it nor should you try. What you can do however, is take care of yourself, it doesn't seem like you would have been very productive if you had gone into work with "body shakes". Of course with your weakened immune system, you might have been exposed to the other illnesses your colleagues seem comfortable bringing into the workplace, making you worse. You want your company to pay your health benefits, not your death benefits. Take your days and take care of yourself. Assuming lost productivity is the issue with your co-workers, when you get back go to work early and let your co-workers know that you want to make up for the time you were out of the office. Spend a couple of days eating lunch at your desk stay later than everyone else, making sure that they know you are trying to make up for lost time. If that doesn't work then perhaps your co-workers are just miserable people who want your company when you're miserable.

A. Fox
"There are two ways of exerting one's strength: one is pushing down, the other is pulling up."
Booker T. Washington

Sleeping with the Enemy

2008-05-12T12:18:00.000-04:00

Hi Alyse!

I've been a server/manager for the last 6 years at the same restaurant - partly to have restaurant experience and partly to help pay for some of my bills while I was going to school full time. The restaurant has an excellent reputation in town I graduated with a degree in Hotel and Restaurant Management 4 months ago and am having a hard time getting a job. I'm only looking at management positions and at higher end restaurants because I have experience in that field (that's the kind of restaurant I worked in for 6 years), I've got $60000 worth of school loans to pay back and I support myself. I've been going on interviews but not getting any callbacks or offers and I'm starting to think it's because of my references. In my fourth year of employment, I started dating my boss, the General Manager who is also the owner's son. I left a month after I graduated from school because we went through an bad break up.
HELP!

Sleeping with the enemy Baltimore, MD

Hi B-More!

I get this one a lot and I've developed a patented 5 step response action plan designed to help you stay out of this particular quandry. Here goes:

1. Don't sleep with your boss;
2. Don't sleep with your boss;
3. Don't sleep with your boss;
4. Don't sleep with your boss;
5. Don't sleep with your boss.

Now, after you've completed the 5 step program, you may want to look into securing 1-2 valuable internships (where they are unlikely to ask for references but are likely to provide good references) and starting over. If you list your experience at the restaurant as just a server and place any focus on your management skills on the internships, you should be able to explain why your references are from the internships. In addition, once you explain it's a family business that did not give you the opportunity to move up, it becomes clear why you are no longer with the company. I get your school loan money situation, you may want to request an unemployment forbearance while you work on gainful employment.

A. Fox
...You live and learn. At any rate, you live. (Douglas Adams)

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