By then I had already known for certain for a couple of months, and we had been contemplating it for close to a year. I won’t bore you with the details except to say that, as divorces go, ours may be one of the best in history. We are still very close, were able to work out the settlement relatively quickly and with little rancor, and we didn’t even have to use lawyers. Total out-of-pocket court costs: about $200.

And though I went through a period of depression and fear about the future, those days are behind me and I find myself waking up every morning with excitement about what’s on the horizon.

Playing to My Strengths

I sat down a while back and made a list of things to be thankful for. It includes:

• I’m a partner in a profitable, growing company (I pinch myself every day about this one)
• I’m surrounded by a first class team that inspires and makes me laugh several time a day
• I have several close friends, both in Boulder and scattered around the world, to whom I can turn for support an advice, including my awesome sister
• I’m in the best shape of my life, or at least since high school, thanks to boot camp
• I’ve had two awesome hair styles this summer alone (ok, that one’s debatable)
• I have a great deal of freedom to do what I want, when I want.

(On that last point: Dong and wanted to have kids but weren’t able to. And though I know I’m missing out on one of life’s great pleasures, I’m glad we didn’t have to put children through a divorce, and there is a lot of upside to being childless.)

So I’ve got a few things going for me, and I’ve been back in the saddle for a while. I’ve dated several women and continue to meet new ones on an almost weekly basis. I’ve even been in a serious, rather intense relationship, albeit short-lived. And I was in a couple more semi-serious ones that made the past six months very memorable.

Most of these dates have come from online, either through dating sites or just social media in general. I’m very comfortable in that world. I met Dong on Match.com and I’ve had an account there since — no shit — 1995. (I was one of the first people to sign up when they launched, so I got a free account for life.) I’ve also used other services such as Chemistry and OKCupid (which is my current favorite - so much so that I pitched and built this contest for them).

Widening the Funnel

I’ll continue to use online tools, but I’ve also been branching out and trying to meet people in different ways. This is an opportunity to try new things, both in terms of activities as well as social experimentation.

One night a few weeks ago, for example, I decided to introduce myself to my neighbors. I’ve lived in the same place for over six years now and I just barely know any of them. That strikes me as rather lame, so I decided to go door-knocking. Not just next door, but everyone in the immediate area around me (about 20 townhouses). Unfortunately most of them weren’t home, but I did talk to several of them and pitched the idea of a block party. All enthusiastically agreed and gave me their email and phone number. I will repeat the exercise again over the next few days.

I also have experimented with just walking up to and introducing myself to people in coffee shops, the library, bars, the grocery store etc. My original inspiration is The Game, which unfortunately has a reputation as a how-to manual for being an asshole. I can see how people think that, but that’s not really the part of it I’m using. Rather, I’m just experimenting with the idea of intentionally broadening my circle of acquaintances without first requiring someone or (some online dating algorithm) to introduce me.

To be clear, to the degree that I use any “techniques” at all, it’s from a position of authenticity and confidence, not trying to hide my true nature. I don’t use peacocking, magic tricks, cold readings or any of the other silly stuff they talk about in The Game. I have used a couple of the standard openers successfully, but only when I first started experimenting several months ago. More recently I’ve just tried to be more observant and start conversations based on what I see.

Also, I’ve become a better observer of other people. I was recently in New York and had a blast watching men and women interact. I particularly remember sitting at a bar and watching a steady stream of men hit on a cute girl sitting there alone. Thing is, it was really obvious to me that she was way into the bartender — she would light up when they talked — but I don’t think he picked up on that. Or maybe he was just intentionally playing it cool. (If so, he has major Game.)

Anyway, this is just a quick check-in on how life’s going for me post-divorce. If you see me, don’t feel like you have to say walk on eggshells about it. I’m long past the fear & depression part. Honestly, I love the single life much more now than the first time around.

And if you know any single women who might be interested…

Many years ago, David Allen shared with me that one of the first things he did when planning his first book, the best-selling, Getting Things Done, was to write the Wall Street Journal review of his book, first. He wrote the book review as he would like it to appear in print, even before writing the first chapters of his book.

An acquaintance of mine, a direct marketing guru, once told me that he writes the sales letter before he ever creates the product. Only after he’s explained exactly what you’ll get and why you need it does he set about creating the product. (And sometimes, if the sales letter isn’t compelling enough, he just abandons the product altogether, saving him a lot of time and effort.)