Ask Dr Romance - by Mrs Figgins

Movie Manners!

Mrs. Figgins — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 17:23:33 +0000

Manners Matter!

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

I took my kids to the movies last weekend and the kids behaved better than the grownups!

Cell phones when off, Blackberry lights flickered, and conversations were going on everywhere.

Just because it was a kids movie doesn’t mean that manners didn’t matter.

Please weigh in on this.

Manners Matter, Westlake

Dear Manners Matter:

You’re absolutely correct, “manners matter”. Parents teach by example and lay the foundation for proper behavior.

In the cinema or theater, cell phones, pagers, blackberries, and mouths should be shut down once the lights go down.

This is correct and respectful.

Mrs. Figgins

www.askdrromance.com Advice On Relationships & Everyday Topics by Mrs Figgins

Hockey worries grandparents

Mrs. Figgins — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 16:05:12 +0000

Keeping it safe.

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

We’re concerned grandparents. Our two grandkids are now playing hockey. These kids can really get hurt.

How do we handle this without overstepping boundaries with our son and his wife daughter in law?

Nan and I are losing sleep over this.

Doug and Nan, Ontario

Dear Doug and Nan:

Ice hockey is an exciting action packed sport. And unfortunately it can also be dangerous.

There is certainly nothing wrong with talking about your concerns with your son and daughter-in-law. After all you have built in grandparent privileges!

If the parents have given their permission for the kids to play hockey then you’ll have to accept that decision.

However there are smart constructive check list items which you can discuss with everyone to ensure that the game is safer and more fun for the kids as well as the entire family.

First and foremost: USE SAFETY SENSE
The kids should be encouraged and required to play safe by setting a good example on and off the ice.
Use full face shield & protective gear.
Coaches & officials should be certified.
Make sure the hockey program is well rounded and includes strength, flexibility and endurance training, to help the body in the preparation for the increased physical demands
Since you are in Canada a good resource for you to check out is: Hockey Canada Kids http://www.hockeycanada.ca/multimedia/kids/

Congratulations on a terrific job on the Olympics. Well done indeed!

Mrs. Figgins

www.askdrromance.com Advice On Relationships & Everyday Topics by Mrs. Figgins

Sex Offender Residency Restrictions

Mrs. Figgins — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 06:37:22 +0000

Innocence

We would would like to express our appreciation to Parents for Megan’s Law and the Crime Victims Center and Executive Director, Laura A. Ahearn for the following article on residency restrictions for sexual predators.

We have no greater charge than to protect the children.

Mrs. Figgins

Drawing the Line on Residency Restriction

“Common sense dictates that convicted sex offenders should not reside directly across the street or in close proximity to schools, parks and playgrounds, but it is time to draw the line on Long Island.

Current residency restriction laws in Nassau and Suffolk County were enacted in direct response to multiple incidences where convicted sex offenders took up residence in locations with an unobstructed view of schoolchildren playing at recess and at public playgrounds.

Long Island’s first residency restriction law was enacted when a Level 3 sex offender convicted of Rape in the first degree, who completed parole, took up residence directly across the street from North Coleman Elementary School in Centereach.

Sex offender residency restriction laws will not eliminate sexual victimization. They do however reduce the potential for offender escalation and their ability to observe and pattern children.

Daily exposure and access to a vulnerable victim pool facilitates the potential for sex offender fantasy to become a heinous reality. In fact, sexual interest in children and access to victims are factors associated with recidivism (Hanson & Harris 1998, 2001; Hanson & Morton-Burgon 2004).

Additionally, it is well established that sex offenders have many more victims (and variety of victims) than those for which they have been arrested (Abel et al., 1987; Abel, Becker, Cunningham-Rathner, Mittleman, & Rouleou, 1988; Ahlmeyer et al., 2000; Heil, Ahlmeyer, & Simons, 2003) and may therefore pose risks not readily apparent by relying on their documented offense history (Heil, Ahlmeyer & Simmons 2003) – research suggests that up to 50% of rapists have committed undetected sex crimes against child victims (Ahlmeyer, Heil, McKee & English, 2000).

Individualized sex offender management based on risk assessment is playing Russian roulette with our children’s safety as we will never have all the data necessary to predict human behavior and make informed decisions.

Reasonable residency restriction laws are the best alternative and when enacted, after performing due diligence, as were the existing Nassau and Suffolk County laws, offer the additional benefit of reducing the potential for community unrest and vigilantism by providing statutory guidance clarifying what the rules are for residents and for registrants.

Attempting to expand existing stringent and effective residency restriction laws is a popular platform during election season and may appear on the surface to be a good idea, but in fact, may be counterproductive to enhancing sexual abuse prevention.

Expansion initiatives lull a community into having a false sense of security and can never take the place of parents who take the time to learn how to protect themselves and their children through prevention education.

Nine out of ten children who are sexually abused know and have an established relationship with their abuser. We as a society cannot consciously disregard the one in ten who do not.

Enacting ill conceived politically correct in the moment laws may lead to a constitutional challenge, bringing invited attention to the lawmaker but seriously compromising existing laws. More importantly, it will lead to a greater number of homeless and non-compliant sex offenders – exacerbating their tracking, monitoring and supervision – ultimately placing our children at greater risk for victimization.

Parents for Megan’s Law and the Crime Victims Center does not support recent residency restriction expansion proposals introduced by the Town of Brookhaven.

An enhancement of existing laws that we do support, but is not included in the Town’s proposal, is victim specific and will protect victims from the continuing traumatization which would result from their attacker moving in close proximity to where they live or work – a measure passed in both the Nassau and Suffolk County Legislatures.

The Town can make a real impact by re-directing community focus and providing any number of Parents for Megan’s Law’s (PFML) child or adult sexual abuse prevention education programs to residents on a monthly basis, and initiating community mailings that inform residents how to access the sex offender registry and how to register for PFML email alerts to be informed of registered offenders.

Although attempts by the Town of Brookhaven to protect our most vulnerable are laudable, they must also provide resources to monitor and enforce their existing, and one of the State’s strongest, residency restriction and anti-clustering laws.

The 2008 Town’s passage of the State’s first anti-clustering law gave hope to communities such as Gordon Heights where over 20 sex offenders resided on one block – the law prevents more than two sex offenders from residing in a single family dwelling.

A recent PFML review of the number of registrants on that same block, a year later and accounting for those grandfathered, indicates that there are currently a number of offenders in violation of that law – we need the Town to dedicate more resources to effectively enforce the laws that already exist, not more laws.

A recent report by the Town of Babylon Quality of Life Task Force Report on the tracking of Sex Offenders in the Town of Babylon raises more questions than it provides answers.

A careful reading of the report reveals the following: The Town reports findings from “four separate investigations that occurred over the course of the program” yet only documents the notification to and response from the Suffolk County Police Special Victims Unit from their most recent September 24, 2009 “investigation”.

The Suffolk County Police were notified of 17 sex offenders who were not allegedly residing at their registered locations. As of October 13, 2009 there were 6 sex offenders who were not accounted for in the Town of Babylon. Approximately 90% of the registered sex offenders in the Town of Babylon are accounted for.

Within the Police District the Suffolk County Police report that 95-97% of the registered sex offenders are accounted for. The question as to why compliance in the Town of Babylon is lower is not addressed.

The report also infers that residency restriction laws may be producing the unintended consequence of forcing Suffolk County registered sex offenders underground.

This assertion is not supported by fact. Suffolk County has one of the strongest residency restriction laws in the nation and an award winning sex offender management program.

Nationwide, in a study conducted and published by Parents for Megan’s Law, it was found that approximately 24% of registered sex offenders were out of compliance with the reporting requirements of Megan’s Law.

In Suffolk County that number is less than 5%, almost 5 times better than the national average. Even accepting the numbers provided by the Town of Babylon, their compliance rate is over 2 times better than the national average.

It is not residency restriction that motivates a sex offender to violate the law, it is their perception that law enforcement is not dedicated to insuring compliance. In Suffolk County that is clearly not the case.

Research and experience indicate that victim and community safety is best achieved when those supervising sex offenders work collaboratively with law enforcement, therapeutic providers, community organizations and the public.

Proposals and passage of more restrictive laws while ignoring the need to provide resources for collaborative enforcement of existing laws serves only to strain already limited resources and renders those laws ineffective.

Further, valuable time spent responding to community members misled by misinformation can instead be used to educate the public about existing resources they can utilize to keep themselves and their children safe from sexual predators.

The Town of Babylon recommended more standardized and stronger notification laws, noting that the frequency and quality of notification varies widely from community to community.

The report fails to document that Parents for Megan’s Law already provides a standardized community level sex offender email alert program which is funded by the U.S. Justice Department and is based right here in Suffolk County.

The collaboration between Parents for Megan’s Law and all police departments in Suffolk and Nassau Counties takes the discretion to notify out of the hands of school districts and only gives them the discretion to participate in the email alert program by simply informing their residents of its existence.

Residents themselves can sign-up for the program and do not need to go through their school districts.

Most school districts in Suffolk and an increasing number of districts in Nassau participate in the email alert program by sending residents a copy of our email alert registration form, putting information in the school calendars and bulletins and linking us on their website.

Knowledge and access to the PFML sex offender email alert program requires that local governments have knowledge of its existence and collaborate with PFML and school districts to educate the community and encourage participation.

There are over 600,000 registered sex offenders in our nation and keeping track of them requires strong collaborations between law enforcement, the community and organizations such as Parents for Megan’s Law.

Police utilize information technology resources and in-person verifications and sweeps to check addresses and call upon the US Marshals to hunt down non-compliant registrants crossing state lines.

Because Megan’s Law is an unfunded mandate, these initiatives require ongoing funding.

Megan’s Law provides the public a unique opportunity to be the eyes and ears for law enforcement by reporting registrants that may be in violation of local, state and federal laws.

Through the Parents for Megan’s Law Sex Offender Registration Tips (SORT) Program the public can anonymously report registrants who may be in violation of registration, employment and residency restriction laws or who may be violating conditions of probation or parole.

SORT reports are researched and forwarded to the appropriate law enforcement agency for follow-up action. This collaboration has led to multiple arrests for non-compliance and increased accuracy of registry information.

The over arching problem is that sex offender registration is done on an honor system. If we were serious about ensuring sex offender compliance with registration, residency and employment restriction laws then funding should be provided to supervise sex offenders for the same term they are required to register – and that supervision can be tailored to the individual registrant.

State-wide life-time supervision for sex offender laws would prevent local governments from proposing and passing laws in response to real-life situations we are all confronted with on local levels – twenty-six states across the nation have some form of life-time supervision for registered sex offenders

Preventing our most vulnerable from sexual victimization requires that we take a comprehensive approach which includes stricter sentencing, civil confinement, strong registration and notification laws, realistic residency and employment restriction laws, individualized life-time supervision plans which include treatment and the use of GPS and computer monitoring software, resources for enforcement of sex offender management laws, resources and support for victims and sexual abuse prevention education for children and adults – laws alone cannot protect them.”

Laura A. Ahearn, L.M.S.W.
Executive Director
Parents for Megan’s Law and the Crime Victims Center (PFML/CVC)

www.askdrromance.com Advice On Relationships & Everyday Topics by Mrs. Figgins

No such thing as a typcial sex offender

Mrs. Figgins — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 06:33:40 +0000

Innocence

We would like to express our appreciation to Office of the Attorney General for the following Questions & Answers.

We must each be pro-active and vigilant for we have no greater charge than protecting the children.

Mrs. Figgins

Questions & Answers:

I do not want to talk to my children about sexual abuse, because I do not want to frighten them. Is this really the right thing to do?

It is helpful for parents to keep in mind that:

You, as a parent or adult, may be more uncomfortable or frightened by this than your children are;

The Attorney General and the website www.meganslaw.ca.gov provides safety information to our children in a number of other areas. (You can draw a parallel between teaching kids to “”drop and roll”" if clothes catch on fire [which is a pretty scary thought] or teaching kids to cross the street by looking both ways so they are not run over [which is also a pretty scary thought].)

I am concerned that I really cannot tell who is and who is not a sex offender.

You are exactly right. There is no such thing as a typical sex offender. That is why it is important for you to understand common sense strategies for protecting yourself and your children that you should always follow.

To protect yourself from offenders, follow general safety guidelines, such as maintaining an awareness of your surroundings and trusting your instincts about people and situations. To protect your children, maintain open lines of communication with them—listen to your children; being available and taking time to really know your children builds feelings of safety and security.

How will I know if I can believe allegations about sexual assault–do people make false accusations?

The majority of victims tend to minimize sexual assault, or out of self-blame, fear, or shame do not disclose the abuse. This is particularly true of child victims. Research indicates that sexual assault is no more falsely reported than any other crime. The best approach is to believe the victim, listen to his or her allegations, offer your support, and support the victim in getting the help that he or she needs.

I am very concerned about protecting my child from this type of crime. In fact, I think if my child were a victim, I do not know how I could possibly handle it.

Perhaps the best thing to remember if you know or suspect that your child has been victimized is that they need, you–more than ever–to be a calm, nurturing, and protective parent. The child has endured one of the most profound violations of her or his person. It will probably be extremely difficult for your child to disclose this to you, or to deal with the emotion of knowing that you are aware of what has happened to them. It will be even more difficult for your child if they observe you losing control of your own feelings or behavior. In order to help your child, and prevent further trauma to her or him, you have to be strong for her or him. Seek help for your child. Seek help for yourself in the form of specialized counseling to help you handle your reactions.

How can children ever recover from such an experience?

Children are amazingly resilient. Research suggests that children who are supported when they disclose or when the victimization comes to light heal more quickly than those who are not believed. A supportive family response and professional intervention can also help to heal child victims and their families.

I have heard that sometimes children willingly participate in sexually abusive activities, and that they are partially to blame.

Because of their age and the age difference between children and their perpetrators, children are unable to legally consent to sexual activity. They are never to blame for their own abuse–although they are often made to feel like willing participants because of the careful, manipulative behavior of their abusers. This further contributes to their shame and guilt. If you have the occasion to be involved with a child who has been sexually abused–either your own child or another–one of the most healing responses is to reassure the child that they bear absolutely no responsibility for what an adult has done to them or made them do, even if they have been tricked into believing that the adult cares for them and what they were doing was “”okay.”"

With everything that parents hear about the dangers of abuse, how can you possibly avoid being overprotective with your children?

We all have to remember as parents that overprotectiveness and excessive fear can make our children feel helpless, whether about sexual assault or any of the other dangers that life holds. Information, common sense, and keeping lines of communication open with your children are much more productive than succumbing to irrational fear.

How will I know if my child is a victim? The thought that my child might actually be a victim and I might not know it is very worrisome to me.

The reality is that some instances of child sexual abuse never do come to light. However, the better informed you are about what to look for, the better the chance that you can know and be able to help your child. Trust your instincts; you know your child best. Any change in behavior that concerns you is worth evaluating.

Is the court process terribly traumatic for child victims? Might it be worse than the abuse itself?

If child victims are believed and supported, the court process can actually be a helpful experience for a child. Remember, part of the trauma of sexual assault is the loss of control over one’s own body. The court process can give power back to the child. If the child feels empowered by the court process, the outcome can be positive. In California, special provisions are made for children victims. In addition, child advocacy centers, where child victims can be interviewed in a child-friendly atmosphere by a skilled and trained victim-witness personnel, can be very reassuring to the child and his or her family.

If my child were a victim of sexual abuse, would talking about it with my child afterwards make it worse?

Making the child talk when he or she is not ready and implying blame can make it worse. Encouraging your child to talk, but not demanding or forcing information from her or him, is helpful.

If I suspect someone in my family of sexually abusing my child or another child in my family or neighborhood, what should I do? Should I confront them?

Your best approach is to contact the authorities and let them investigate. If you suspect the abuse because of something your child or another child has disclosed to you, your most important role is to believe and support the child.

What do I do, or whom do I tell, if I am sexually assaulted or my child is sexually abused?

Ultimately, the choice of reporting the sexual assault is a choice that a victim or a victim’s parent must make. Perhaps the best course of action is to call a rape crisis center to explore your options and what the implications might be for you.

If I am sexually assaulted I do not think that I could ever recover.

Although the pain of sexual assault is profound, victims do heal. The healing process will be smoother if you seek assistance from someone, a therapist or a victim advocate, who has experience talking to sexual assault victims. Tell someone you trust what has happened; do not struggle with it alone.

I do not know how to help a friend who has been sexually assaulted.

Listening to your friend without judging his or her choices is the best thing you can do. Reinforce the message that your friend is not to blame for what happened. Be sensitive to new fears and behaviors associated with the assault (such as avoiding crowds or feeling unsafe in previously comfortable locations). Most importantly, give your friend time to heal and let him or her know you are there to listen whenever needed.

Is sexual offending on the increase or is there just more reporting?

We do not really know. Because most sexual offenses go unreported, it is difficult to tell. There is speculation among many in the field that the implementation of new laws related to the registration and community notification of convicted sex offenders may cause an even higher rate of underreporting (remember, most victims know their assailants and many may not want to subject them to public scrutiny). However, according to the National Crime Victimization Survey, victimization is increasing. In 1996, there were 307,100 victimizations of rape and sexual assault, and in 1999, there were 383,170 victimizations (an increase of 12.5%).

www.askdrromance.com Advice on Relationships & Everday Topics by Mrs. Figgins

Child abuse – a parents nightmare

Mrs. Figgins — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 06:13:43 +0000

Innocence

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

We’re new parents blessed with beautiful twin girls. We are scared to death of what is happening in this world, and no doubt around the globe. Children are at risk with sexual monsters.

It wasn’t like this when we were kids, Mrs. Figgins. My husband and my parents didn’t lock the doors at night.

As a mother I am paralyzed with fear about what to look for, where to send the girls to school, who to trust them with. The questions that swirl around my head are never ending. I am aging with fear.

Where do we start? How can we protect our children from these monsters? How do parents sleep at night?

What can we do?

Tara and Jonathan, Los Angeles

Dear Tara and Jonathan

The world has changed. It continues to change in the blink of an eye. And yet, for the sake of the kids well being – balance & normalcy is critical.

Perhaps it is the fast changing pace of how news travels, our work or even how we manage and manipulate our waking hours. Whatever the reason – this is where we are today. We’re on the edge. We let life happen.

That is – until the day it happens to us.

Laws protect every predator in an effort to save just one innocent person. Is the trade off worth it? Does any reason or excuse matter to a parent whose child has been emotionally, physically or sexually abuse? NO.

Nothing replaces a child. No reason or excuse matters. NOT A ONE. NEVER.

We have no greater charge than protecting EVERY child. This responsibility belongs to each and every one of us – no matter if that ”that child” is ours biologically - or one whom we have never met.

We pray for each and every child, for each and every parent - the victims of unimaginable, monstrous crimes.

May GOD bless you, and protect you.

Mrs. Figgins

www.askdrromance.com Free Relationship Advice On Relationships & Everyday Topics by Mrs. Figgins

Husband depressed after prostatectomy

Mrs. Figgins — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 02:40:14 +0000

In it together!

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

My husband underwent a radical prostatectomy. He’s been depressed thinking he won’t be the same man because of problems with his erections.

Actually, he’s too embarrassed to talk with anyone about the fact that there’s no ejaculation.

We have always had a wonderful loving relationship. I keep telling him he’s the love of my life and nothing will or could ever change that.

Brooke, Seattle

Dear Brooke:

Even if the doctor went over the details of the surgery, effects and recovery – it still may have been overwhelming to your husband at the time. No doubt your husband’s doctor will be happy to go over the details once more.

Your husband has gone thru a traumatic procedure and recovery will take time, and so will the ability to have an erection.

According to the University of Pittsburg Cancer Institute, after a radical prostatectomy, most men will not be able to get a spontaneous erection for 3 – 12 months. Men experience “dry orgasms” in which there is no ejaculation, therefore, medication may be needed to enable an erection.

“The reason is that the two structures responsible for most of the fluid in semen – the prostate and the seminal vesicles – have been removed. The vas deferens, the tube which transports sperm from the testicles, has been shut off. This lack of fluid emission h as no connection to and does not interfere with a man’s ability to feel sexual desire and arousal, or achieve orgasm.”

Mrs. Figgins

www.askdrromance.com

Advice & opinion on relationships & everyday issues by Mrs. Figgins

Empty nest – empty heart?

Mrs. Figgins — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 16:59:31 +0000

Empty

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

Me and my husband have been married 29 years and have beautiful childrens away from home and busy. with their lifes.

My concentration all the years was the childrens and everything Eduard. He is a good business man but his concentration is always Eduard. He had many girlfreinds but I think no more. Difficile.

I have too good freinds but when I return home I find myself very alone, very lonely and ready to leave.

I try with my heart and body for these years. There is no more left. So many times I sit alone and criy to my own. My life feels alone in the big ocean and no land to see.

My childrens for a long while bring this conversation to me. They love their father but they know my life.

They want me to give me a new beginning and live with them but this is not a good idea. Childrens need their private life.

Is it bad to want more for me?

Adelais, Marseille

Dear Adelais:

Life is a ball of compromises, and it sounds like you’ve made them.

Sometimes life doesn’t make the turns we counted on, but you have been a loving mother blessed you with great children.

While your children’s love and support is important - they are living “their” life now. Only you know if you’re ready to move on – and how you want to now live “your” life.

Change is scary, but so is treading in the ocean with no land in sight.

Talk with Eduard and let him know of your unhappiness. Tell him of your decision.

There may be difficult days ahead, but then – sunshine breaks thru.

You deserve happiness. You deserve to finally reach land.

La terre est proche, Adelais. Avoir foi en Dieu.

Mrs. Figgins

www.askdrromance.com Free Advice On Relationships & Everyday Topics By Mrs Figgins

Is he risking their retirement money?

Mrs. Figgins — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 15:40:28 +0000

Good bet?

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

I’m about to retire – and want to start a little side business. Wife’s against it because we would need to dip into our retirement, and if the plan fails it would be real hard.

Went to the small business bureau, and I think they’re another government front.

Went to the bank because I thought the government wanted banks to lend to kick the economy back into action. Doesn’t seem promising and that leaves going into retirment money..

I’m having some problems getting the wife to go along with this plan but I feel that if I don’t go after my dreams now, when will I ever get the chance.

Bill in Texarkana

Dear Bill:

A wife is the person who tells you to slow down – when you’re moving too fast.

The bank is the place that loans you money - when you can prove you don’t need it – or even want it!

These are times of uncertainty, Bill. Unless you can aford to gamble and possibly lose, slow down and don’t gamble the farm.

My advice: Bet on your wife’s intuition.

Mrs. Figgins

www.askdrromance.com

Free Advice On Relationships & Everday Topics by Mrs. Figgins

Ask Dr Romance - by Mrs Figgins

Movie Manners!

Manners Matter!

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

I took my kids to the movies last weekend and the kids behaved better than the grownups!

Cell phones when off, Blackberry lights flickered, and conversations were going on everywhere.

Just because it was a kids movie doesn’t mean that manners didn’t matter.

Please weigh in on this.

Manners Matter, Westlake

Dear Manners Matter:

You’re absolutely correct, “manners matter”. Parents teach by example and lay the foundation for proper behavior.

In the cinema or theater, cell phones, pagers, blackberries, and mouths should be shut down once the lights go down.

This is correct and respectful.

Mrs. Figgins

www.askdrromance.com Advice On Relationships & Everyday Topics by Mrs Figgins

Hockey worries grandparents

Keeping it safe.

Dear Mrs. Figgins: We’re concerned grandparents. Our two grandkids are now playing hockey. These kids can really get hurt. How do we handle this without overstepping boundaries with our son and his wife daughter in law? Nan and I are losing sleep over this. Doug and Nan, Ontario

Dear Doug and Nan:

Ice hockey is an exciting action packed sport. And unfortunately it can also be dangerous.

There is certainly nothing wrong with talking about your concerns with your son and daughter-in-law. After all you have built in grandparent privileges!

If the parents have given their permission for the kids to play hockey then you’ll have to accept that decision.

However there are smart constructive check list items which you can discuss with everyone to ensure that the game is safer and more fun for the kids as well as the entire family.

First and foremost: USE SAFETY SENSE

The kids should be encouraged and required to play safe by setting a good example on and off the ice.

Use full face shield & protective gear.

Coaches & officials should be certified.

Make sure the hockey program is well rounded and includes strength, flexibility and endurance training, to help the body in the preparation for the increased physical demands

Since you are in Canada a good resource for you to check out is: Hockey Canada Kids http://www.hockeycanada.ca/multimedia/kids/

Congratulations on a terrific job on the Olympics. Well done indeed!

Mrs. Figgins

www.askdrromance.com Advice On Relationships & Everyday Topics by Mrs. Figgins

Sex Offender Residency Restrictions

Innocence

We would would like to express our appreciation to Parents for Megan’s Law and the Crime Victims Center and Executive Director, Laura A. Ahearn for the following article on residency restrictions for sexual predators.

We have no greater charge than to protect the children.

Mrs. Figgins

Drawing the Line on Residency Restriction

“Common sense dictates that convicted sex offenders should not reside directly across the street or in close proximity to schools, parks and playgrounds, but it is time to draw the line on Long Island.

Current residency restriction laws in Nassau and Suffolk County were enacted in direct response to multiple incidences where convicted sex offenders took up residence in locations with an unobstructed view of schoolchildren playing at recess and at public playgrounds.

Long Island’s first residency restriction law was enacted when a Level 3 sex offender convicted of Rape in the first degree, who completed parole, took up residence directly across the street from North Coleman Elementary School in Centereach.

Sex offender residency restriction laws will not eliminate sexual victimization. They do however reduce the potential for offender escalation and their ability to observe and pattern children.

Daily exposure and access to a vulnerable victim pool facilitates the potential for sex offender fantasy to become a heinous reality. In fact, sexual interest in children and access to victims are factors associated with recidivism (Hanson & Harris 1998, 2001; Hanson & Morton-Burgon 2004).

Individualized sex offender management based on risk assessment is playing Russian roulette with our children’s safety as we will never have all the data necessary to predict human behavior and make informed decisions.

Attempting to expand existing stringent and effective residency restriction laws is a popular platform during election season and may appear on the surface to be a good idea, but in fact, may be counterproductive to enhancing sexual abuse prevention.

Expansion initiatives lull a community into having a false sense of security and can never take the place of parents who take the time to learn how to protect themselves and their children through prevention education.

Nine out of ten children who are sexually abused know and have an established relationship with their abuser. We as a society cannot consciously disregard the one in ten who do not.

Parents for Megan’s Law and the Crime Victims Center does not support recent residency restriction expansion proposals introduced by the Town of Brookhaven.

Although attempts by the Town of Brookhaven to protect our most vulnerable are laudable, they must also provide resources to monitor and enforce their existing, and one of the State’s strongest, residency restriction and anti-clustering laws.

The 2008 Town’s passage of the State’s first anti-clustering law gave hope to communities such as Gordon Heights where over 20 sex offenders resided on one block – the law prevents more than two sex offenders from residing in a single family dwelling.

A recent report by the Town of Babylon Quality of Life Task Force Report on the tracking of Sex Offenders in the Town of Babylon raises more questions than it provides answers.

Within the Police District the Suffolk County Police report that 95-97% of the registered sex offenders are accounted for. The question as to why compliance in the Town of Babylon is lower is not addressed.

The report also infers that residency restriction laws may be producing the unintended consequence of forcing Suffolk County registered sex offenders underground.

This assertion is not supported by fact. Suffolk County has one of the strongest residency restriction laws in the nation and an award winning sex offender management program.

Nationwide, in a study conducted and published by Parents for Megan’s Law, it was found that approximately 24% of registered sex offenders were out of compliance with the reporting requirements of Megan’s Law.

In Suffolk County that number is less than 5%, almost 5 times better than the national average. Even accepting the numbers provided by the Town of Babylon, their compliance rate is over 2 times better than the national average.

It is not residency restriction that motivates a sex offender to violate the law, it is their perception that law enforcement is not dedicated to insuring compliance. In Suffolk County that is clearly not the case.

Research and experience indicate that victim and community safety is best achieved when those supervising sex offenders work collaboratively with law enforcement, therapeutic providers, community organizations and the public.

Proposals and passage of more restrictive laws while ignoring the need to provide resources for collaborative enforcement of existing laws serves only to strain already limited resources and renders those laws ineffective.

Further, valuable time spent responding to community members misled by misinformation can instead be used to educate the public about existing resources they can utilize to keep themselves and their children safe from sexual predators.

The Town of Babylon recommended more standardized and stronger notification laws, noting that the frequency and quality of notification varies widely from community to community.

The report fails to document that Parents for Megan’s Law already provides a standardized community level sex offender email alert program which is funded by the U.S. Justice Department and is based right here in Suffolk County.

Residents themselves can sign-up for the program and do not need to go through their school districts.

Most school districts in Suffolk and an increasing number of districts in Nassau participate in the email alert program by sending residents a copy of our email alert registration form, putting information in the school calendars and bulletins and linking us on their website.

Knowledge and access to the PFML sex offender email alert program requires that local governments have knowledge of its existence and collaborate with PFML and school districts to educate the community and encourage participation.

There are over 600,000 registered sex offenders in our nation and keeping track of them requires strong collaborations between law enforcement, the community and organizations such as Parents for Megan’s Law.

Police utilize information technology resources and in-person verifications and sweeps to check addresses and call upon the US Marshals to hunt down non-compliant registrants crossing state lines.

Because Megan’s Law is an unfunded mandate, these initiatives require ongoing funding.

Megan’s Law provides the public a unique opportunity to be the eyes and ears for law enforcement by reporting registrants that may be in violation of local, state and federal laws.

Through the Parents for Megan’s Law Sex Offender Registration Tips (SORT) Program the public can anonymously report registrants who may be in violation of registration, employment and residency restriction laws or who may be violating conditions of probation or parole.

SORT reports are researched and forwarded to the appropriate law enforcement agency for follow-up action. This collaboration has led to multiple arrests for non-compliance and increased accuracy of registry information.

Laura A. Ahearn, L.M.S.W. Executive Director Parents for Megan’s Law and the Crime Victims Center (PFML/CVC)

www.askdrromance.com Advice On Relationships & Everyday Topics by Mrs. Figgins

No such thing as a typcial sex offender

Innocence

We would like to express our appreciation to Office of the Attorney General for the following Questions & Answers.

We must each be pro-active and vigilant for we have no greater charge than protecting the children.

Mrs. Figgins

Questions & Answers:

I do not want to talk to my children about sexual abuse, because I do not want to frighten them. Is this really the right thing to do?

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

We’re concerned grandparents. Our two grandkids are now playing hockey. These kids can really get hurt.

How do we handle this without overstepping boundaries with our son and his wife daughter in law?

Nan and I are losing sleep over this.

Doug and Nan, Ontario

Laura A. Ahearn, L.M.S.W.
Executive Director
Parents for Megan’s Law and the Crime Victims Center (PFML/CVC)