Ask Garnet

Porn Contest Now on Facebook!

noreply@blogger.com (Garnet Joyce) — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 00:22:00 +0000

I've heard you! A lot of you don't twitter. I get it. So here's the deal. Make your facebook status a reason that people should read my blog and include a link to my blog. This can be a general reason with the www.askgarnet.com link or it can be about a specific entry with a link to it.

But here's the down side of using facebook. There's no way for me to easily track and search for these things like with twitter. So in order to enter you'll need to:
1. friend me (include message that you follow my blog)
2. update your status
3. email me on fb linking to your status update

Also, if you don't win upon first entry don't hesitate to enter again the next day. Your chances of winning are pretty high especially if you are persistent. I reward persistence.

So twitter or update your facebook status! Win free porn! Srsly, free stuff rules! You should all enter. NOW!

Porn Contest!

noreply@blogger.com (Garnet Joyce) — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 20:14:00 +0000

Do you like porn? Do you like totally awesome porn? Do you like not having to pay for your totally awesome porn? Well have I got a deal for you!

I have 15 hours of free porn from HotMoviesForHer.com that I want to give you! Now don't be discouraged by the fact that it says "for her." These movies are really for everyone. They have hetero and queer porn that will appeal to everyone. I promise!

So what do you have to do to win free porn?

All you have to do is tweet about why you think people should read AskGarnet. That's it! I will pick one winner per day for the next 15 days and you will get one free hour of porn. Once I pick the winner I will DM you for your email address and then send you the codes you'll need to get your free hour. If you don't respond w/in 2 days then the contest will continue. Simple as that. Just remember that when you tweet you'll need to add #askgarnet and include a link to my blog (can even be a particular entry you like). For example you could twitter something like:
"Everyone should read #askgarnet because she is super awesome! http://vb.ly/garnet"

Now go! Tweet! Win free porn!

The Tool Shed

noreply@blogger.com (Garnet Joyce) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 03:54:00 +0000

I want to give a quick shout out to a sex shop that I visited on my honeymoon: The Tool Shed. Its located in Milwaukee (yes, I honeymooned in Milwaukee. Get over it.) and its totally awesome. I love feminist sex shops and when I travel I try to go visit ones I've never been to before. I'm kind of a nerd like that.

When I first walked in I was a bit taken aback by the fact that there was a dude behind the counter. But I soon realized that this guy was a very comfortable guy. No threatening or creepy vibes here.

The wife and I walked around perusing the wares and I got such joy out of fondling toys that my store doesn't carry and that I'd never actually seen in person. I want to try the SaSi SO BADLY!! The Tool Shed had quite a selection, carrying more vibes and BDSM gear than Early to Bed has. I was like a kid in a candy shop. Some of the stuff I found to be a bit odd and was glad that we don't carry it, but there were many other things that I wished we would carry.

After looking around for awhile I introduced myself to the non-threatening dude (I am horrible with names!) behind the counter. And this is where I probably annoyed my wife. We talked shop for like an hour. Yeah, I can just go on and on about sex toys. He told me about exciting new toys coming out and I told him they should carry my fave dildo in the whole world Ella by Lelo (Ellen on E2B's website).

And because I hate to take up someone's time and not buy anything, I bought my wife a pair of bicycle socks. I loved that The Tool Shed had a whole bunch of locally made stuff like socks, lingerie, jewelry, zines, and art.

So if you're in Milwaukee definitely hit up The Tool Shed for your sex toys or even socks. They rule!

Small Breasts- To Implant or Not to Implant

noreply@blogger.com (Garnet Joyce) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 03:23:00 +0000

Boob jobs. Do you think its superficial to think it may/may not increase one's self esteem?

In all honesty, its something I've considered. Half the time I don't feel very "womanly" because I barely fill an A. All that gorgeous lingerie that's out there, I can't wear. I have a bunch that I have to rig to fit, and at that point, they really don't look attractive. My husband thinks mine are fine, but I feel superficial for thinking this way. It does sort of effect our sex life, because I don't feel that attractive. I just almost feel like if I had some hot C's I'd probably dress less boyish and maybe even stand up straight. Hell, if I had boobs I'd probably play with them myself!

I dunno. I talked about it with my husband, and we've pulled together that its part of the reason I hate porn too. The acts themselves can turn us both on, but knowing that I look next to nothing like those girls kills me. Its such a stupid thought to have, but its honestly the thought that goes through my mind. Then I beat up on him for looking. And, I don't want to be like that.

He's supporting the idea if it will make me feel that good. This of course wouldn't happen until somewhere later down the road. He agreed it would be awesome to see me wearing some pretty lingerie, and he'd probably buy more. Right now its like I'm a 12 year old girl wearing a training bra! (and I seriously do have one somewhere, its one of my better fitting bras.)
I guess just throw me some thoughts. Not sure if boobs would actually improve anything or not, and sadly, I feel like my self esteem would improve. so yeah, between you and me...
I want some freakin' bazongas!!!

Let me start off by saying that, just like super models, most normal people don't look like porn stars. Mainstream porn stars have had so many nips and tucks that you're not sure which parts of them are real or not anymore. So, for the love of god, please don't compare yourself to them OR to super models.

Now, that being said, there are actually lots of lovely porn models and actresses that have small breasts and are both sexy and cute. Scott Owens, owner of EroticBPM has let me troll around on his site in search of pictures of hot small breasted women for your viewing pleasure in order to prove a point. I will be posting pics of these hot models throughout this post and I dare you to tell me that any of them look any less hot because of their small breasts. The reality is that you're just looking at the wrong porn, which I think a lot of people are doing. Mainstream porn is SOOOO not where it is at in the world of hotness!

First, lets address the lingerie issue. Small breasts are actually often easier to find lingerie for. You just have to know what you're looking for. Stop focusing on the tits and look for other parts of your body to accentuate. Large breasted women have to find lingerie that is supportive and has underwire and possibly padding in order to keep the girls up, but you don't need that. Look for stuff that offers little or no support. And definitely accentuate the booty, tummy, and thighs; the things that make you feel sexy and womanly.

Or even think outside the box and find stuff that may not conventionally be considered lingerie, but looks awesome on you.

Now, lets address your sex life. You feel like if only you had a great pair of C cups you'd be a fiery vixen in bed. I think that there is probably a huge population of women who feel something similar. If only I had a bigger/smaller butt/chest/lips/thighs/hips/stomach or longer/shorter legs/hair/torso ... etc etc etc. I think there are very few women out there who think they're perfect and think that "if only" this one thing was different THEN they'd be unstoppable! We all have at least some self-esteem issues and really, that's how the consumerism works. If we were all happy all the time we wouldn't buy as much useless crap as we do now.

And what makes you think that you'll stop at a new pair of tits? Maybe once you get those you'll start thinking that your thighs are too fat or your lips are too small. When does it end? And is it really worth it? Are there ways to learn to love the body that you have?

Try looking at real breasts of all kinds of women - large and small breasts with different shapes, colors, textures, and gravity effects. Here is a gallery of non-sexualized pictures of breasts. This can help you to realize what is real instead of always looking at porn stars. Also, try finding things that make your breasts feel good. Is there a special way you like to have your nipples pinched? Do you like it when your husband caresses them? Or even, how they feel when you take a hot bath. Finding pleasure in the breasts that you have can make you fall in love with them and accept them for what they are. Especially with the knowledge that implants can often decrease sensation in your breasts and nipples.

Now, the reason that I feel so strongly about this kind of thing is that I feel that everyone should learn to love the body that they have. I think it makes us all very unhappy to go around feeling like we're missing something or would be better if only ... Whats important is to be healthy and happy and find pleasure in what we have. We can't truly enjoy sex if we can't embrace our bodies. I've dated several women who wouldn't let me see them naked. They would go to great lengths to keep the lights out and under the covers so that I couldn't see them. But I WANTED to see them! That is, after all, why I was having sex with them. I found them very attractive and wanted to see their bodies. No matter what they thought was wrong with them, I found them hot. But what's even hotter is someone with confidence.

I know there are a lot of people who say that they're down with body modification of all kinds. And you know what, I disagree with that stance. I think tattoos and piercings and the like are pretty rad. I think they are a great way to express individuality. Granted, not everyone goes the individual route and gets tribal on the small of their back. But in general, its a way of expressing yourself. I see plastic surgery as a way to try to look like everyone else. This is of course not always the case, but I feel like a lot of people who get plastic surgery are trying to reach some sort of mainstream beauty ideal. Then there's also the fact that it is SURGERY. There are a ton of risks. You could die! Seriously. Is it really worth it? People seem to forget that you can actually die from plastic surgery.

So, in the end, do I think its superficial? Yes, I most certainly do. But, its also your decision and I want you to be happy with whatever decision you ultimately make. But I want you to really think about it. I know women who've had breast implants and they seem to be happy with them. Does it make their life better? I don't know. I'd have to actually be them to really know that.

And now I'm just going to post more pics of hot small breasted women just for the hell of it. Enjoy!

PS I'm going to send you 2.5 hours of free porn minutes from HotMoviesForHer.com in hopes that you can find some porn that features small breasted women that you think is totally hot.

Stay tuned everyone for your chance to win free porn! I will be announcing a contest later this week!

Love U Parties- Ducky's Newest Venture

noreply@blogger.com (Garnet Joyce) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 00:21:00 +0000

The amazing Ducky DooLittle just launched her own sex toy party company today! Check it out: Love U Parties. The site is well done and she offers products that I haven't seen other feminist sex shops carry. Things that just make sense and you have to wonder why others aren't carrying them. For example: the Sex in the Shower Foot Rest. How many times would that have come in handy?

The great news is that she's paying the consultants (people who sell the toys at the parties) a big percentage of the sales. That's big money and possibly a real career for some. I may consider doing it myself after I move to Oakland.

If you haven't heard of Ducky before you should check out her book Sex With the Lights On: 200 Illuminating Sex Questions Answered. There are a TON of quotes from me in that book. See if you can figure out which ones!

Toys for the Honeymoon

noreply@blogger.com (Garnet Joyce) — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 02:16:00 +0000

Tomorrow evening the wife and I leave for our honeymoon. Now you may be asking yourselves, "What kinds of toys does a sex educator/sex toy reviewer bring with them on their honeymoon?" Because you know I have a ton of them, but only a couple make the cut. Some of them new and some of them old favorites that go on every trip. The above picture is what I'm pretty sure I've decided on bringing. From left to right starting in the top row they are:

Trojan Supras: The first non-latex condom I ever started using that have remained an old standby. Once these have run out though I will probably be switching to the polyisoprene because they are cheaper. The feeling of the condoms don't really matter that much to me since they are just used on dildos, but they have to be non-latex as I am allergic.

Frank: He's a cyberskin dildo that I love giving blowjobs to. I use honey dust to keep him lifelike instead of cornstarch so that he tastes yummy.

Durex Avanti: Again, just a condom I had lying around.

Hitachi Magic Wand: Like this one should be a surprise to anyone. Shouldn't you all own one of these by now? Seriously? Its the best. Nuff said.

Mr. Bendy/Silky: My second favorite dildo ever. This guy is made out of squishy elastomer and has a rod in the center that allows for a bendy good time. I use condoms with him because elastomer is porous, but its totally worth it. This is definitely my favorite strap-on dildo.

Orbit: One of the first dildos I reviewed back when I was just a Carnal Consultant for Early to Bed. Still one of my faves! Although if I decide that I have too many dildos on the trip either Orbit or Frank will get cut.

Feeldoe Slim: High quality double-sided dildo that no romantic vacation can do without. Can be used with or without a harness.

Ella by Lelo: By far my absolute favorite dildo. And I know what I'm talking about; I own 14! This dildo is the absolute best for g-spot. Leave it to Lelo to only make one dildo, but have it be absolutely amazing.

Middle row:

Thigh Harness: This is a newer toy of mine that I'm trying out for Babeland. We've given it a few goes, but feel that in order to review it properly it needs to come with me on our honeymoon. Look for that review coming up soon.

Colore Moi Strawberry Body Paint: Yummy painting! Strawberries and champagne anyone?

Gun Oil: High quality silicone lubricant for some hot hot shower sex.

Maximus: My favorite lube. This stuff is waterbased and has the consistency of hair gel. I was finally smart enough to get a travel bottle that wouldn't get all over everything too!

Saturn: This is a small ridged waterproof vibe made out of a silky plastic. Super cheap and hopefully fun in the shower. Never used this one before, but picked it up special for my honeymoon.

Dirty Dice: Yes, I said Dirty Dice. Honeymoons are supposed to be for silly sex games damnit! And I've never played with these before so I thought they'd be a fun way to get into the play.

Buddy: A silicone butt plug that is a little on the smaller side, but not too small.

Tweezer Clamps: Because with all this sweetness there needed to be some pain ...

Silky Blindfold: Because sometimes its better if they can't see whats coming. Mwahahaha!

Bottom row:

Flower Balm: Another product sent to me to review. I've played with it a little bit and I can tell you this: The menthol definitely works on clits and lips! Look for an upcoming review after the honeymoon!

Heart Paddle: I don't know if anyone carries this anymore, but its a great lightweight wooden paddle that makes a great loud SMACK noise without hurting TOO much.

Vibrating Makeup Brush: No, I don't care about being discreet. Discreet vibes will not get me off. However, the vibrating brush is great for sensation play.

Non-latex Gloves: We are monogamous and therefore are definitely fluid bonded. However, I work in an office and get lots of papercuts. The pH of the vag being what it is, gloves often make things less stingy for me. Also, the lower amount of friction helps with my arthritis.

Vibe Harness: OMG I looked at this thing today when I pulled it out and I think it may be time for a new one. This thing is OLD!! We're talking, before this relationship old. But its my wife's favorite. Its like a part of her by now.

Oh just realized that in the top row is my Teneo Uno you just can't see it. Taking that too.

So there you have it! Should be a fun honeymoon. See you all next week.

Tristan Taormino's Rough Sex

noreply@blogger.com (Garnet Joyce) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 01:40:00 +0000

The amazingly talented Tristan Taormino recently sent me a copy of her newest porn, Rough Sex, and I loved it!

The premise: Different women desire different types of rough sex. Five different female porn stars get to come up with and act out a rough sex fantasy with the male actor of their choice. I love that every one of the five women has a different idea of what rough sex entails. And even more importantly, I love that there is a lot of emphasis on choice and control by the women. Normally, when I see rough sex in porn it makes me feel uncomfortable because I don't know if the woman is actually enjoying what she is doing or if she's just in it for the paycheck. In this movie though we get to see the women consenting in their interviews. Each scene begins with one of these and includes the woman talking about what kind of rough sex she likes and why she picked the guy she picked. The men also get their chance to talk about what they like about rough sex as well. And then we go straight into the scenes.

Adrianna: Breaking and Entering
In the first scene we open with Adrianna Nicole taking a shower. She's got a great naturally curvy body that looks hot all soaped up. She gets out, dries off, and brushes her teeth. At one point she bends over and we see she has a butt plug firmly in her ass. I love foreshadowing! I also love that they show that she was prepped for anal sex. Because in real life, unlike porn, you have to warm up to that!

Marco Banderas, the actor chosen because he is passionate and has an obvious love of women, sneaks up behind her and tells her to shut up. At first Adrianna resists Marco's attempts at fucking her, but soon she gives in and seems to be very into it. Adrianna's idea of rough sex involves very little talking and there really is barely any. Eventually they make their way into the bedroom where there is much fucking and a Hitachi Magic Wand makes a star appearance.

This scene was probably the tamest as far as roughness goes. I actually felt like this was more like a couple role playing at home instead of porn stars going at it, which I loved. The scenes weren't scripted so there was some slight fumbling around, Adrianna was a very active player, and really what guy breaking and entering (and raping you) allows his victim to pull out a hitachi? Love it!

Satine: Stranded
In the second scene we have the incredibly beautiful Satine Phoenix stranded in the desert with her broken down jeep and Derrick Pierce coming to the rescue.

I have to be honest here. I don't like Derrick Pierce. He always comes off as a total douche bag to me. He's the kind of guy that I would go out of my way to avoid at a party. I kept trying to tell myself that Satine picked this guy and that she was actually really into the whole thing and had even done scenes with Derrick before and really enjoyed herself. The way she talked about him definitely showed that she was very into him. I tried so hard! But because Derrick gives me the heebie jeebies I just couldn't get into it. But he's also a great pick. He does what he does very well. He is very good at being a sadistic bastard. And when that's what you want, you call Derrick in for it.

So the scene starts with playful flirtation leading to some messing around. Satine gets on her knees and starts giving Derrick a blowjob and that's when things take a turn. He starts forcing her to choke on his cock, slapping her around, scratching her, dishing out orders, and degrading her.

Unlike the first scene where Adrianna was obviously into what was going on, Satine is wincing and screaming. In the end Derrick makes her beg to cum and then makes her lay in the dirt while he cums on her chest. He then leaves her there; a broken down woman next to her broken down jeep.

Had this been an actor I liked more I think I could've gotten into this scene, but because I don't like Derrick I just couldn't enjoy it.

Francesca: Taking Over
To offset all the submissive women, the third scene has the petite Francesca Le dominating the giant teddy bear of a man Christian. And just like I don't like Derrick, I really like Christian. He just seems like a sweetheart.

In this scene Christian is a corporate asshole who pays no attention to his lovely housewife, Francesca, and she is sick of it. She changes into a hot little corset number, hangs up a phone call that Christian is in the middle of, and dominates the hell out of him.

Christian can take a hell of a beating! Francesca degrades him, spits on him, makes him lick her shoes, chokes him with his own belt, smacks his cock, ass, and pecks, shoves his tie in his mouth, and whips him. This is what I needed after the last scene! I'm a total domme and I needed to see a woman in power to make me really happy. The fact that she's a tiny woman beating the crap out of a giant guy made me even happier. The only thing that I felt like this scene was missing, and what would have made me happiest of all, was if Francesca had queened Christian. And by queening I mean sitting on his face, but I wanted more than just that. I wanted her to suffocate him with her pussy. You always see women choking on cock in mainstream porno, but what about some good old fashioned pussy asphyxiation? I wanted her to grind her cunt into his face so hard! We can all dream, right?

And in the end when Francesca finally lets Christian cum they snowball. Awesome!

Marie: Caught
In the fourth scene Julius Ceazher figures out that his girlfriend Marie Luv has been cheating on him when he finds a condom wrapper near the bed. He confronts her, they fight, and he makes her show him her pussy to see if she's been fucking around that day. This turns into a pretty rough sex scene with some really great positions. I was wowed by the creativity of the positions! Seriously, most of the time when a man is dominating a woman it seems like there are only a few positions in the playbook, but this scene had a lot of different ones. He was just throwing her around like she weighed nothing! However, I would have liked there to be more dirty talk and degradation. The scene really called for it and that's what Marie had requested. Beyond that though they seemed to be having a great time. They definitely had some amazing chemistry. And Marie seemed to be pretty blissfully happy afterwards.

Sasha: Switched
They really saved the best for last on this one. Tristan Taormino even recently tweeted that this is one of the best sex scenes she's ever shot. And for me its just a sex positive feminist's wet dream.

We start with the self-described pain slut, Sasha Grey, and her choice of actor, the adorable Danny Wylde, playing pool and discussing what they do want and what they don't want from their rough sex encounter. Its fantastic to see people actually just discussing these things instead of hoping for the best. People say that this makes sex lose its spontaneity, but I say fuck spontaneity if it means that I can't have fantastic sex that I control. And when it comes to rough sex, setting boundaries is extremely important.

And then the extremely hot sex begins. These two have chemistry! They LOVE fucking each other and it shows. They're having fun. There's choking, smacking, and intense fucking. Danny starts as the dominant one, but they end up taking turns and it works really well. They both beat and degrade each other.

Some of the things that I strongly dislike about mainstream porn were just not present in this scene which made me almost gleeful. I hate the rigid gender roles and homophobia in mainstream porn where you can do whatever you want to a woman's ass, but god forbid you touch a man's ass. Sasha eats Danny's ass! And it is HOT! We're talking Danny on his hands and knees being forced to say "Yes, mommy I'm your little bitch" and moaning.

But the best part of all is when Danny accidentally crosses one of Sasha's borders. In the beginning she didn't have a whole lot of don'ts, but her big one was no tit slapping. Danny got really into the moment and slapped Sasha's tit. He knew instantly that he did something he shouldn't have and he apologized. Sasha made him pay by shoving her foot down his throat, making him gag. He continued to apologize and then all was good and they continued with the hot sex.

In the end there is another snowball and then they have a somewhat ridiculous smacking fight, which just goes to show you how much fun they were having.

Extras
There's a behind the scenes which I always enjoy watching. I liked seeing Tristan planning out scenes with the women. I liked that once again I got to see that Satine had a ton of fun and I just suck because I don't like Derrick

There is a choking safety tutorial by Penny Flame that is super valuable if you're going to be engaging in rough sex. OMG I learned really valuable stuff here! DO NOT SKIP THIS!!!

There's a safer sex tutorial, which I've noticed in a lot of the Vivid flicks. Definitely valuable stuff about condoms, dental damns, gloves, and lube. Although I think the glove tongue thing is a little awkward personally. (You'll just have to watch it to see what I'm talking about.)

And then there are some trailers and whatnot that I honestly didn't bother to watch.

Final Thoughts
Overall, I loved this movie! Such a strangely novel concept to have women designing their own sex scenes. I wish more porn directors would do this. The women were all beautiful and the men were all attractive (even Derrick). There were people of color and somewhat varying body types. The film featured mostly natural bodies, but I did spot one pair of breast implants. There was a lot of very real chemistry going on between the actors and it made for some awesomely hot sex. There was some music, but mostly you just get the sounds of fucking, which are probably what you really want in a porno anyways. Just wish that I could've heard more of the degradation talk, which was so much softer than the screaming.

In the next installment (its a series! Awesome!) I'd love to see some pussy asphyxiation ... or maybe that's just my fantasy ... I'd also like to see a little less semen worship. At the end of several scenes the man cums, action pretty much stops, and the women make love to the semen. I find it to be a little odd honestly. But maybe that's because I'm actually allergic to semen and always had to run off to the bathroom after sex so I could wash it off.

If you want to get this movie you can buy it from Tristan directly here or if you need to see this movie NOW you can get video on demand check out HotMoviesForHer.com

Check out the trailer:

Packing Strap

noreply@blogger.com (Garnet Joyce) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 02:05:00 +0000

Babeland recently sent us a packing strap made by Aslan Leather. A packing strap is used to keep the bulge in place by transmen, genderqueers, drag kings, and those who like to play around with gender (including just dressing up for Rocky Horror). Because the last thing you want is for your cock to fall down your pant leg. The strap is specifically made to work with the Mr. Right packer, but also works with a Soft Pack which is a lot cheaper. However, from the reviews I've read, I've gathered that the soft pack may be more likely to fall out of a packing strap than Mr. Right.

For this review I enlisted the help of my awesomely handsome wife since she has a bit more packing experience than I do. And without further ado, here she is with her input:

I don’t often wear a soft pack. In the past when I wanted that certain bulge, I simply wore my packie inside my underwear. While it stayed put for the most part – though I had to take care to hold on to it when using the restroom – I was constantly on high alert for an embarrassing slippage accident. The arrival of the Aslan Leather harness was a chance to send my worst fears packing (yes, that pun was intended).

This harness was the first I’ve ever used. It took me a few minutes to realize that only the balls of the packie would be held by the harness. The dick was free to swing and sway until the moment I pulled up my drawers. While I liked the freedom of movement, I felt that without the support of the underwear, the packie might eventually fall forward out of the harness. A better design would perhaps include an elastic o-ring that could reign in the penis, as it is the major center of mass for my packie. A harness that simply holds onto the balls makes the whole thing feel rather top-heavy. However, the worry that I could eventually have a flop-out might have been paranoia, as I used the restroom while wearing it and was pleased to see that I no longer had to designate one hand to hold my detachable bits.

The waist strap was comfortable. It was a simple wide elastic band, and I was pleased to find that the size I received fit around my waist with almost no stretching of the elastic – it was snug enough to not move around, but loose enough that I couldn’t feel it once I was dressed. After dressing and spending a few minutes walking and jumping to test the effectiveness of the harness, I felt supremely confident that the packie would stay where I wanted it. I was able to go about my day and eventually forget that I was packing – at least until I caught my own reflection or the eye of my wife.

Overall, I found that wearing the harness was vastly superior to going without one. If you regularly soft pack, I would recommend picking up one of these if you don’t already have one. For those of you like me who pack very infrequently, the low price point makes this purchase easy on the wallet and definitely worth the cost.

Condom Review: Beyond 7

noreply@blogger.com (Garnet Joyce) — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 02:21:00 +0000

This week's condom review is for another latex condom: Beyond 7. I'm sad to report also that this will be the last of the condom reviews. I hope you all learned a bit about different condoms on the market and maybe even got the initiative to try some new ones out for yourselves.

The seductively designed packaging was easy on the eyes but a little harder to open in a rush. There was no tear mark or serration to go by so it was a little rough going, but worked. The roll-down was a simple thumb and two finger affair that all condoms should strive to achieve, but that awkward package prevents it from getting a perfect 5. Once out, like nearly all latex based condoms, you could detect the smell of rubber, but there was a pleasant blue coloring to distract you from it, or at least I can only assume that was the manufacturer's intent. The fragrance didn't translate too strongly to taste luckily and while the lube was slightly less than pleasant at first, it quickly washed away and left a taste-free surface. Sensation transmission was slightly above par, and the snugness around the base was a welcome tension that was pleasant and far from strangulation. If polyisoprene condoms are not
available, these would probably by my strongest recommendation.

Ease of use 4.75
Sensation 4.00
Taste/Fragrance 3.75

How to Approach Women Without Being Maced

noreply@blogger.com (Garnet Joyce) — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 03:10:00 +0000

Today on Feministing they linked to an amazing article A Guy's Guide to Approaching Strange Women Without Being Maced. The article describes what goes through a woman's head when a strange man approaches her in public. And I think it is a wonderful way of opening up men's (and even women's) eyes as to what women go through on a daily basis. And no matter how amazingly attractive you find a woman, there are certain circumstances in which you should never approach her. I have definitely been hit on when walking alone down a dark street before. Like HELLO!?!? Women constantly live with the fear of being assaulted and I don't think most men really realize that.

Which reminds me of a video that a friend of mine posted in his blog (really hope he doesn't mind the gank - I'll take it down if he does) which featured interviews from a Men Against Sexual Violence (MASV) conference that he put on in Chicago several months ago. Its a bit rough, but it has some very powerful moments. The moment that really sticks with me is at about 8:20-9:30. Love those guys!

Herpes Saves Lives?

noreply@blogger.com (Garnet Joyce) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 02:19:00 +0000

The fabulous and talented Midori wrote a great article for Carnal Nation entitled 'How Herpes Saved My Life'. She talks about how contracting herpes led her to safer sex. She gives the usual downtrodden dirty slut story a spin into a wonderful sex-positive message and normalizes STIs. Its a seriously nice change. Because we've all heard the statistics about how many people have STIs and yet we still associate them with only dirty sneaky evil folks. How is that possible?

One thing to keep in mind though is that Midori does tell a very rosey tale and that won't be everyone's experience. So far she's had a couple of comments that have addressed that. I think it is important to note that there are many people living with STIs who have a harder time finding a mate. But I think its also nice to see someone who tells a story about how she doesn't give a crap about the people who turn her down.

Condom Review: Durex High Sensation

noreply@blogger.com (Garnet Joyce) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 16:37:00 +0000

This week's condom review is the Durex High Sensation. This is another latex condom. And a reminder, all of these condoms can be ordered through Early2Bed.com.

Another bright red package which could very easily be confused for the Max Love, it tore open but not quite as easily as the Max Love. It was of similar diameter to the Max Love, but that's where the resemblance ceases. The roll down was easy but not quite as easy. The smell was like the tire shop again, but this time without the flowers. At least it was a very pretty red! The taste was a little rubbery and the lube left an odd taste. The sensation transfer was fairly close to the Max Love, but this one actually out performed it with lube that wasn't quite as over slippery as the other.

Ease of use 4.5
Sensation 4.00
Taste/Fragrance 3.75

Shit Happens

noreply@blogger.com (Garnet Joyce) — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 00:39:00 +0000

So, last night I had some pretty good sex. My guy came over after work & took a shower so he was all squeaky clean. So we have sex for an hour or so & then I start playing around with him with my hands & he gets really into it. He likes anal pressure but no penetration or anything. I have ample lube & he is a very happy boy. Now here's my issue... keep in mind he had just showered. I have an unbelievably sensitive sense of smell. There was a little more anal play/pressure than usual but like I said no penetration since hes not into that.....I could um, smell it. I could kind of ignore it but it wasn't something I'd like to repeat often b/c of that. Now this isn't an issue for him or anything...I go down on him plenty & there's NO odor issues. I guess it's just b/c I was playing around there? He enjoyed it SO MUCH though. So the question is....how do I avoid that next time? The smell thing that is & WTF is that about? Yikes.

OK here is the thing about butts, now everyone say it with me: "Poop comes out of your butt." If you're going to be going in or around someone's butt you may have to deal with poop. As they say, 'shit happens.' There are ways to try to avoid poop, but if you're going to play with the butt there is no way to make sure to 100% avoid it. Its like pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections: If you don't want them you have to abstain from sex all together, but there are precautions to lower your risks. Because lets face it, sex and butts are hella fun!

The facts about pooping:
Poop (such a funny word!) is pretty much formed in the large intestine and then goes into the rectum where it is stored for a short period of time. When we go to the bathroom to relieve ourselves it comes out of the rectum through the anal sphincter. And no matter how good we wipe ourselves afterwards there is always a chance that some of that fecal matter stayed in the rectum and/or just inside of the sphincter. And it often slowly works its way out.

This is why bidets are awesome! Its sooo much easier to clean yourself well with water than with tp. That being said, as showcased by your man, its still not always enough to do the trick. Because fecal matter can get trapped in that area I mentioned before we need to actually work our finger into the sphincter a bit to try to clean it out. This is especially easy to do in the shower. Just relax and slowly apply pressure around your anus and the tip of your finger will go right in. And voila a clean bum!

If the stink butt keeps happening you may have to talk to your man about how to properly clean his rear end. I know this can be a somewhat uncomfortable topic, but approach it gently without talking about it being gross. Just talk about how you like to poke him in the butt, but sometimes its a little stinky and you just want to make sure you're getting him as clean as possible so its enjoyable for both of you.

There's also the possibility that he may not have been feeling at the top of his game, but still wanted to mess around with you. I think we've all been there. Sometimes you don't realize until its a little too late that maybe it wasn't the best idea. If it hasn't happened to you yet, I guarantee it will at some point.

So above all, I'd say have some compassion and a sense of humor. If he's usually a pretty clean guy and a smell or a little poo comes out now and again don't hold it against him. You may be on the other side of that at some point.

Also, if you want to keep things clean I'd highly suggest picking up some latex or neoprene gloves. They're pretty cheap and keep a barrier between your hands and his poop. Just remember to use lots of lube!

Teneo Uno

noreply@blogger.com (Garnet Joyce) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 23:33:00 +0000

Babeland recently sent me the newest Smart Balls from the oh so awesome Fun Factory. For my review of the original Smart Balls go here.

The Teneo Uno is pretty similar to the original in that it has the same size ball with a smaller ball inside that shakes and its made out of elastomer with a string attached. However, the Uno only has one ball, which is great for beginners or women who have smaller vaginas. Or, in my case, for those of us who prefer to only leave the house wearing one because two becomes too uncomfy when not aroused. And leave the house I did! In fact I wore it to my 10 year high school reunion. Bet my classmates had no idea!

Compared to the original Smart Balls, I didn't feel like I was getting as much of a workout, but considering the fact that I won't wear those out of the house, its really more of a workout since I'm doing it for more hours in the day.

Another difference is this cool little nook at the bottom of the ball that makes it easier for insertion. It fits the finger well so you have a spot to push against. They also changed the string from a non-stretchy string, to one that is almost rubberband-like in nature. It actually inspired me to use the toy as a slingshot upon opening. And while that's fun, I found that the limitations of the stretchy string were kind of big for me. A non-stretchy string makes for easier resistance training and removal. When you pull on a non-stretchy string the whole toy comes with it at a nice even pace. When you pull on a stretchy string you pull and pull until you get a POP when it comes out, which doesn't feel too nice. This is especially the case if you like to masturbate with your kegelcisor in. After cumming, the muscles in your vagina are often pretty tight and OMG pulling that thing out with force does not feel so great. Although, the one upside I found is that the string no longer hangs straight out and tickles my leg, which can be distracting no matter how much of a jackhammer your vibe is. Not really worth that POP though.

They also put more little divet designs on this model of Smart Balls. While this may add to its aesthetics, it does nothing for what it feels like and actually makes it more difficult to clean.

And that may sound like quite a few negatives, but I can tell you that this baby is definitely coming with me on my honeymoon next month! Nothing like something in your vaj to keep your mind on sex during a date with your sweetie.

Condom Review: Durex Max Love

noreply@blogger.com (Garnet Joyce) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 01:59:00 +0000

After a week off, this week's condom review is Durex Max Love which is 20% thinner than the average condom.

Bright red package with pretty hearts it's easy to pick out among the crowd. Latex based and lubricated, when we opened the package (which was totally simple and ripped clean and quick) it smelled like walking into a tire shop that had a pot of flowers at the entrance. As I've pointed out before, I'm a guy of exceeding mediumness so I was pleased to find that this was designed with a diameter to accommodate. A quick easy 1-handed roll down and we were off to the races. For latex it transmitted temperature quite well but the sensation was just a tiny bit lacking, both very unusual things for latex. The taste was a bit in contrast to the smell, not unpleasant.

Ease of use 5.0
Sensation 4.25
Taste/Fragrance 4.0

San Francisco

noreply@blogger.com (Garnet Joyce) — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 04:31:00 +0000

I'm going to be out of town tomorrow (Sunday) through Tuesday night. I'm visiting the wonderful city of San Francisco. While there I will be getting a tour of San Francisco State University from a Human Sexualities grad student. I'm thinking of attending this school next year. I will also be checking out the Plastic's Show by Midori at the Femina Potens gallery owned by the lovely and talented Madison Young. I'll also be hanging out with friends, exploring Oakland, and having a generally fabulous time.

If you'd like to keep up with me during my trip (or even after that) follow me on Twitter: GarnetJoyce.

See you all when I get back!

P.S. Look forward to an upcoming contest where you could win hours of free video on demand porn!

Condom Review: Pleasure Plus

noreply@blogger.com (Garnet Joyce) — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 02:10:00 +0000

This week's condom review is the Pleasure Plus which features a pouch for extra flopping room.

A non serrated edge made it a little rougher to open than it should have been, and the tear mark wasn't as easy to manipulate as I wish it had been. It didn't have a particularly strong smell which is a surprise for a latex based condom, but what it lacked in smell, it more than made up for in a less than pleasing taste. While it wasn't disgusting by any stretch, my partner let me know that she could think of many other things she'd rather have in her mouth. The claim to fame for the pleasure plus is the “pleasure pouch” on the underside with slight ribbing. It felt at first after rolling it down (which was a simple task, saving it from a complete losing score in ease of use) like it was just a loose fitting condom, but once we got to business I could feel the extra sensation it was meant to provide. It may be because the piercing kept it from rubbing against the sensitive under-head as it was supposed to, but while a novel feeling at first, it eventually became slightly annoying. I could feel her fairly well, but the fact that I was feeling something extra I didn't really need didn't do too much for me.

Ease of use 3.5
Sensation 3.5
Taste/Fragrance 4.0

Free Queer Porn Today Only!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Garnet Joyce) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 23:29:00 +0000

NoFauxxx.com is letting everyone in for free today! Go check out some amazingly hot free queer porn using login: friend pw: fauxxx. If you love hot queer sex as much as I do, you won't be disappointed by the 2009 Best of the Bay Best Queer Porn Award winner.

Could it possibly get any better? It can! If you write a comment in the member's section on the site you'll be entered to win 2 free months!

Taking Too Long

noreply@blogger.com (Garnet Joyce) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 02:04:00 +0000

So, I've been seeing this guy lately & the sex is alright. Well, great really. Except there's the issue that he CAN'T cum after hours...yes, HOURS. 4 hours is too much for me. Anyway, that's kind of a big deal to me b/c HELLO it's easy to make someone cum! WHAT is wrong with me that I cant?

He's taking too long to cum. This is very inconsiderate of him IF he is doing it on purpose. Some men seem to think that they should last forever. But some men also aren't as easy to cum as other men are. It can make you feel inadequate if you are used to a man who does cum quickly. I highly suggest talking to him about it. Saying something along the lines of "I really enjoy playing and having sex with you, but I've noticed that you don't cum. Is there anything that I can do to help? I want you to fully enjoy our time together and I'd love to make you cum, but I'm not gonna lie, even though its fun, it gets really tiring after 45 min to an hour." He may not even realize that you're getting tired or he may actually need you to bring up his issues with cumming to help him get through it. Keep in mind that he may say that he needs to jerk himself off in order to cum. And remember that that isn't anything against you. He's probably just trained himself to the stimulation that his hand brings. And everything you do up to that point makes it waaaaay better than he could've done on his own. If this is the case and you'd like to be more involved in his cumming you two can switch between him stroking himself and you stimulating him until he gets a little more used to the kind of stimulation you provide and the possibility of cumming.

One thing to keep in mind also is that everyone is responsible for their own orgasms. You are not responsible for giving him an orgasm and nor is he responsible for giving you an orgasm. Communicating your needs and desires will go a long way in helping you both achieve orgasm.

Condom Review: Durex Avanti

noreply@blogger.com (Garnet Joyce) — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 00:18:00 +0000

This week's condom review is the Durex Avanti which is another non-latex condom. This one is made out of polyurethane like the Trojan Supras.

It comes in a dark package with purple highlights which while very attractive would probably be tough to spot in the dark if you're one of those couples who's afraid to leave some light on. It's not latex based, so it doesn't have much of a scent and transmits sensation a bit better than most of the latex varieties but not nearly as good as the polyisoprene. We were a bit turned off by the fact that the lube that it comes equipped with had a bit of numbing sensation in the mouth, which while excellent for those who have a hard time taking a mouthful, was a little disconcerting when it wasn't expected. The wrapper was easy to open, but unrolling it became a 2-handed operation, costing it points.

Ease of use 4.0
Sensation 4.0
Taste/Fragrance 5.0

**Note: The polyurethane Avanti's have recently been discontinued and are only available in select locations for a limited time. Apparently the polyisoprene in the Lifesytles SKYNs is so much better that Durex has changed the Avanti's to the same material. The new ones are called Avanti Bare.**

Condom Review: Lifestyles SKYN

noreply@blogger.com (Garnet Joyce) — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 02:04:00 +0000

This week's condom review is the newest non-latex condom on the market and by far our reviewer's favorite, Lifestyle SKYN.

Of all the condoms I've had the pleasure/displeasure of using, these are far and away my favorites. Non-latex based, they have no unpleasing smells, no awful taste, and to make an extremely long metaphor, if my penis were an ear on a phone and her vagina was a pin dropping, these condoms would have been sprint's landline service of the 1980s. The packaging is shiny making it easy to find at night, the serrated edges make them easy to open, and they roll on pretty easily. Try not to have much moisture on your boy pieces before rolling them on, because they will slip a little during vigorous thrusting. These are far and away my favorite condoms and carry my strongest recommendation.

Ease of use 5.0
Sensation 4.99
Taste/Fragrance 5.0

My Story

noreply@blogger.com (Garnet Joyce) — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 00:07:00 +0000

In light of recent events – specifically Dr. Tiller’s murder, federal marshals being removed from the aide of Dr. Carhart, and the ongoing violence focused on reproductive health clinics – I’ve decided to tell my own story. I believe that it is extremely important for women (and men) to come out and talk about how their reproductive health clinics have helped them and why they are a positive necessity in our society. We should all tell our own stories.

My story isn’t a pretty packaged story about how I was a victim of incest or rape. Not that these stories are ever pretty, but they are the ones that so often come to view when we are talking about women who need to be able to have abortions. The stories of innocence lost. The women who “deserve” to have a pregnancy terminated. What about the rest of us? We all need control over our own bodies.

I expect that a lot of people won’t agree with my decisions. And I also expect that there may be some backlash because of it. But I refuse to hide when the people who are trying to help women are being murdered.

I tell this story from a sex positive viewpoint; the idea that there is nothing inherently evil about sex. In fact there is a lot of good in it, but there are risks as well.

When I was 18 I was a typical teenager. I thought I was invincible. I thought that nothing bad could happen. And so, even though I knew full well what the consequences were, I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend. I was not a victim of abstinence-only education, I had comprehensive sex ed starting in 5th grade. I was also raised in a sex positive household where information about sex and condoms were always available. I did know better. But I was in love and the sex was fantastic.

What I didn’t know was that I was with a young man who was also extremely fertile, as many 18 year olds are. He hadn’t told me that he had gotten two other women pregnant before me. And he definitely should have known better. But we’re both to blame for what happened. A couple of months before my 19th birthday I got pregnant.

I had always thought that if I got pregnant before I was ready that I would have an abortion. It would be an easy decision. When it actually happened I was struck by how difficult the decision actually was. After all, this life had been created out of love.

After thinking about it for a few weeks though I knew that it was the right decision. I had not been planning on bringing a baby into the world and was smoking at the time. Not a great way to start a pregnancy. My mom, a very supportive woman in general, refused to support me emotionally or financially if I chose to have the child. My boyfriend whom I loved dearly, all of a sudden disappeared when I became pregnant. I had my whole life ahead of me. And even dedicating 9 months to pregnancy was a burden my body could not handle. The first couple months that I did go through were awful and I knew it would only get worse. My body has always had issues with health and pain.

I did not know how to go about seeking an abortion. I am so incredibly lucky that it all turned out as well as it did considering I was doing my research via the yellow pages and, being a broke teenager, cost was my main concern. Had I lived in the Bible Belt instead of a suburb of Chicago I’m sure I would have ended up talking to a crisis center that would’ve misinformed me about pregnancy and abortion. And in my relatively fragile state, that would have been very difficult to deal with.

Ten days after my 19th birthday my best friend took me to a women’s reproductive health clinic. There were lots of women with boyfriends in the waiting room. I was the only one with my best friend.

I don’t really remember much of that day except for having a difficult time peeing in the cup, accidentally stepping on a button on the floor in the operating room that made a loud noise, waking up in another room with my underwear back on, and my best friend taking care of me that evening (mmm Blue’s Clues macaroni and cheese). But it all went pretty well.

As the years went on I became pretty loyal to Planned Parenthood. I really wish I had gotten the procedure there, but I’m happy that it went well. Planned Parenthood has been there for me through thick and thin. They’ve helped me through condom breakage, STI testing, genital warts, pap smears, putting me on the pill to prevent pregnancy, and then keeping me on it to prevent ovarian cysts. They’ve been there when I’ve cried, they’ve laughed at my jokes, and they’ve been non-judgmental of my lifestyle choices. They’ve been like a really good friend to me. And as a good friend I’ve tried my best to give back as well. I’ve donated time and money to them. I ran the local college campus chapter of VOX (Planned Parenthood’s student outreach) and I’ve worked as an escort keeping myself between women entering and leaving the clinic and those who did not agree with why they thought those women were there. I will always support Planned Parenthood and I hope that they are always able to support me.

Condom Review: Trojan Supra

noreply@blogger.com (Garnet Joyce) — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 21:18:00 +0000

This week's condom review is the Trojan Supra, which is one of the few non-latex condoms on the market.

A non-latex condom, these seemed to, like most of the other alternative material condoms, transmit warmth and sensation much more efficiently. They came in an attractive shiny gold foil package which was thankfully easy to spot when navigating only by the moonlight coming in through the blinds. The package took a second attempt to tear open but still came open without TOO much trouble. They rolled on over the piercings with ease and didn't take any effort to roll completely down. The rubber ring around the bottom provided adequate grip to prevent slippage even through pretty vigorous activity. The units seemed to absorb moisture, but a couple drops of eros fixed that and it was smooth sailing from there out. The biggest upside to this variety was the complete lack of smell or taste. Being part of a monogamous couple who uses condoms only for their contraceptive properties, it's pretty important that an unpleasant taste not be left on the skin after use.

Ease of use 4.5
Sensation 4.0
Taste/Fragrance 5.0

Anti-Prostitution Laws and Violence Against Sex Workers

noreply@blogger.com (Garnet Joyce) — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 20:51:00 +0000

A Canadian study published this month shows a correlation between violence against sex workers and anti-prostitution laws. Read about it here.

If we're really interested in curbing prostitution there are other ways to go about it. Decriminalizing the selling of sex, but criminalizing the buying of sex is one big part of that. With a smaller demand, there will be a smaller supply. As long as men are willing to pay for prostitutes there will be prostitutes.

Also, having better health care, job training, and general opportunities for women living in poverty would mean women can find other forms of employment where they can actually make a living wage. The study also suggests better violence prevention efforts, policy reforms, and improved access to housing and drug treatment in order to decrease the rates of violence against sex workers.

Condom Review: Kimono MicroThin

noreply@blogger.com (Garnet Joyce) — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 19:23:00 +0000

This week's condom review is the Kimono MicroThin.

Despite being called MicroThin, and maybe even actually BEING micro thin, these units had the most godawful ability to absorb sensation and transport it into the ether, never to be felt again. I thought maybe on initial try, maybe a bad day was to blame, but on second try, my suspicions were confirmed. I wouldn't be surprised to find out that a secret ingredient in the condom formulation was cement. They
were a little snug which made me, being a guy of exceptionally medium proportions, feel pretty good about myself. Sadly, that's the only pleasant thing I have to say about the Kimono MicroThins. When we removed them for the final part of the review, they left a rather icky rubbery taste along with a smell that accurately foreshadowed said flavor. The packaging was a little thick, and thus harder to tear open, but they went on fairly smoothly. That isn't nearly enough to salvage them as a functional condom.

Ease of use 4.5
Sensation 2.0
Taste/Fragrance 2.5

All ratings are out of 5.