Ask IndyTed

Michael Bloomberg for Dictator of the U.S.A.

2008-09-22T15:42:00.005-04:00

Calm down. I haven't totally flipped out-yet. However, I had the pleasure of watching Michael Bloomberg being interviewed on "Meet the Press". I was quite impressed with his grasp of the current financial crisis. He gets it. You ask, what makes him so smart?

It's not that he is smarter than everyone. There are a lot of smart people in Washington, DC. However, unlike most of our elected officials, he is virtually unaffected by special interests. He's rich and he doesn't need their money. Hence, he can speak his mind and tell it like it is.

As for the dictator part, I really like democracy with the checks and balances in our government, but congress has sold out. They need to get out of the way.

Check out the interview (after the frigging commercial).

www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/26819490#26819490

Credit Crunch

2008-09-17T15:04:00.002-04:00

Everyone should know by now that I am an old fart. That qualifies me as one of those "I told you so" people with respect to the current credit crisis the world is enduring.

You can blame the Democrats, Republicans, unscrupulous mortgage lenders, Alan Greenspan, Ben Bernake, Bush (pick one or more), Bill Clinton, the investment bankers, or just the stupid people who signed all of the documents at closing without reading them, let alone doing the math on their own to determine that they could actually NOT afford their home for the term of the loan.

Well, I'm laying the bulk of the blame on spreadsheets. Spreadsheets?!! I know you think I've lost it, but people never used to borrow too much money to buy a home because you never really knew what you could afford. The rule of thumb was NEVER have a payment exceeding 25% of you monthly net pay or NEVER borrow more than twice your annual gross income. If you forgot, the bank reminded you as they gleefully loaned you the money for anywhere form 8% to as high as 18% in the early '80's. You must be thinking, who would buy a home at those rates? You're right. No one or very few did because people could not afford it...that is until Lotus 1-2-3 invented the spreadsheet in the early '90's. The housing market exploded!

Suddenly, lenders thought they could loan more money at lower rates and borrowers thought they could handle larger mortgages. Wrong and Wrong. Somewhere in the 20 to 30 years of a loan, sh.. happens and you have to have enough of a reserve fund to handle it. Hence, here we are today. Everyone was feeding like pigs in a trough. Of course, you all know where pigs end up.

Live within your means, save 10% of your income, keep six months of income in an emergency fund (not part of your savings),and be glad you live in the U.S.A., that is at least until we sell the naming rights to a foreign country that holds all of the U.S Treasury Bonds. Let's see, where will we put the sign? Ah, I got it...on the forehead of the Statue of Liberty!

Bigger is not Necessarily Better

2008-09-11T14:31:00.005-04:00

I need to make a confession. I went to the "Oil Can" or the "Luke" for the first NFL regular season game for the Colts. My bro called at the last minute with a ticket and I was "weak".

I have to admit that upon walking up to the structure, I was a bit awed at how immense it was. In terms of sheer mass, it is the largest building I have ever seen up close. When I stepped inside, it was like walking through the back of the wardrobe in "The Chronicles of Narnia" except that it was full of rednecks instead of turtlenecks. Anyway, it was HUGE!

However, after I slapped my lower jaw back into place, I began to see what was not so wonderful about Indy's new $720 million boondoggle:
1)Finding my seat (which are all biggie-sized to accommodate the average Colts' fan) was not easy. I should have left a trail of bread crumbs to find my way out.
2)I noticed the players were smaller. Actually, they are twice as far away as in the RCA Dome. I could barely see the numbers and I was only half way up in the stands. 3)The men's room was not meeting capacity, as there was a long line vs. no line for the women. The architect must have been a chick with a small bladder.
4)Fan noise was less due to the roof being open but it did not seem to affect the sound level of the commercials that were blasted during timeouts. Conversation was nearly impossible.

Plus, the Colts got their butts kicked 29-13. On the plus side, I did get a inaugural game souvenir cup. I'm putting it on Ebay.

"For Better or For Worse"

2008-08-31T13:00:00.002-04:00

You have all heard the phrase and a lot of you have repeated it yourself (hopefully, only once) at a wedding. But, it is also the title of my favorite comic strip which has been published daily over the past 29 years. Unlike most comic strips, the characters are based on the real life family members of the writer, Lynn Johnston, and all have aged in real time.

And to peak my interest, the (Patterson) family members' ages parallel those of my own. Thus, our families have experienced many of the same joys, sorrows, disappointments, and successes together over the past three decades. Whatever you could imagine that could happen to a family was there to be read daily in the funnies. Reading the daily postings of the Patterson family provided me "comic" relief to know that what I was living wasn't all that unusual.

People fell in & out of love, babies were born, kids grew up one day at a time, grandparents grew old and frail, Mom and Dad grew wiser with every crisis, Mrs. Patterson started a small business just like my own wife, and the family dog died much to my dismay. I've only cried twice in my life over a dog. Once was this past year when our own dog, Woobie, had to be put to sleep. The other was when Farley died, saving a kid from drowning, in spite of the fact that he was a tired old dog that gave everything he had left. I was really upset-both times!

Nevertheless, people move on and so did the strip. The Patterson's got a new dog and so did we. Edgar Patterson and Wrigley Meek were just what both families needed and life moved on. And that is the point of the comic strip. Real things happen to people. You need to enjoy the good times and roll with the punches during the bad.

Today, "For Better or For Worse" ended. What?!! It can't end. I'm not dead yet. I want an instant replay! Well, upon further review, it is not ending. It is starting over tomorrow, September 1st. It turns out Lynn Johnston is going to re-write the strip from the beginning while changing the things she would want to be different over the past 29 years. Wouldn't life be interesting if you could actually do that?

I'm not sure I could improve upon what has happened to my family. I have a great partner, my wife, and three great sons living lives more interesting than my own. So, I'll live my next 29 years vicariously through them while I follow the re-write of "For Better or For Worse".

For starters, she's bringing back Farley this week. It's de'ja` vu all over again.

Lucas Oil Stadium at Night

2008-08-18T14:57:00.002-04:00

I was driving by the "Oil Can" last night. The view from the interstate was actually quite spectacular, since I've always felt that it is quite hideous in the daylight. The way it was lit accentuated what little is attractive about the behemoth. And once everyone has a few $8 beers at the game, people will be in love with the place.

Of course, isn't that the way things are in the bar scene. After a few drinks in the subdued light, women look foxy and the men are all hunks.

But, at daybreak reality returns. It's not quite what you thought it was the night before.

Lose Us All Our Money Stadium

2008-08-14T21:10:00.002-04:00

Well, tonight is one of many big nights for Indy's new stadium. They are hosting all of the the VIP's. This weekend, they let all of the urchins (aka Colt's Fans) in to get a look see. And, next week they are going to actually play some football inside the behemoth. It's huge!-just like the bonds the taxpayers are going to pay back over the next three decades.

I'll probably not see it in my lifetime, but someday the Colts will leave town, fold, or become irrelevant when tickets cost $1000 each in the nose bleed section. What will the city do to continue to fund the bonds? Here's an idea.

Fill it up with corn.

Junk vs. Important Stuff

2008-08-03T21:45:00.002-04:00

"One man's trash is another man's treasure." Everyone has heard the quote, but I have no idea who wrote it. Nevertheless, there always seems to be someone who's willing to buy anything at any price regardless of its real value. Here are a few.

Manhattan Island-The Indians sold it for a few beads (bad deal). The Arabs just paid $800 million for the Chrysler Building (good deal to the likely immigrant guy that owned it). The Indians should have held out.

Louisiana Purchase-The French sold it for about $16 million (bad deal). The U.S.A. has made a bucket of money since (good deal). However, now our government is spending billions rebuilding New Orleans in spite of the fact that the Gulf of Mexico will consume it in about 50 years (really bad deal).

Alaska-We bought it from the Russians for about $8 million (good for us). I bet the Russians would be drilling for oil if they still owned it and would sell it to us for $100+ per barrel (and we would probably pay it-not only a bad deal, but stupid).

RCA Dome- Indianapolis built it for a little over $35 million (great deal) and it was the catalyst for the renovation to downtown Indy. Now we are building another dome for $700+ million and giving most of the revenue to a bunch of rich guys (worst deal of the new millennium for any city)-until the next city gets suckered by the NFL.

My wife-Great, great deal! No explanation necessary.

Lucas Oil Stadium Fish Tank

2008-07-31T11:00:00.005-04:00

I was listening to a local "wacko" conservative radio station between sales calls this week. I did not catch the name of the person being interviewed, but he was a member of our local government. They were discussing the current problems with the completion of Lucas Oil Stadium (I still cannot believe they named the stadium after a lubricant) and the recent damage caused by the failure of the roof drainage system.

Anyhoo, he added more angst to my concerns for the water problems when he told the interviewer that the stadium floor is 25 feet below street level and that the water table in downtown Indy is 26 feet below street level. Have you ever had a sump pump fail in your home? Well, I have. The basement filled up with water.

It just adds one more dimension to the facility that Bart Peterson had not conceived. We could stock it with fish and have the Bass Pro Shops convention.

Things I've Been Called

2008-07-18T23:01:00.006-04:00

Everyone has been called a number of names in their life. Here's a sampling of what I've been called.

*Ted-Which obviously is my name!
*Teddy-By the people who still think I've yet to grow up.
*Theodore-I am not a friend of Alvin and the Chipmunks.

*Mr. Meek-Usually when I owe someone money.
*Sir-When someone doesn't know my name and they want my money.

*MeekMan-In college by my fraternity brothers.

*Tim-I have no idea why.
*Tom-I must look like Tim.
*Thief-It's a burden all salesmen must bear.
*Trouble-I must have a T branded on my forehead.

*Joe-By my aunts and uncles at the annual family reunion.

*Son-By a great pair of parents.

*Gary, Dan, Dammit Ted!-It's what my Dad often called me. It's the price for being the third-born son.

*Dad-By my wonderful sons.
*Pops-Later, by the same talented young men.

*Brother-By my sibs and much older brother-in-laws.

*Sweetie Pie-By my lovely wife.
*Sweetie?-Short for Sweetie Pie when "I need you to do something".
*Pha-Short for Alpha. You need to see the movie "Day of the Dolphin" to understand why.

*Coach-By over a hundred kids who played on my baseball, football, & b-ball teams.
*Moron-By over a hundred fathers who wanted their kids to pitch, play QB, or shoot the last shot with 5 seconds left in a tied game.

*Uncle Ted-By nearly 200 nieces and nephews all over the U.S.A.
*Taxpayer-Every three months by the government.

*Woof! Woof!-When Wrigley needs to go outside.

*AskIndyTed-By my one and only reader-YOU!

Well, that's a small sampling. If I missed any, send me a comment.

Lucas Oil Stadium Water Leak Coverup

2008-07-17T18:40:00.003-04:00

Ever heard of Pogue's Run? It is a creek that starts on the east side of Indianapolis and continues through the downtown underground before it empties into the White River. On its way through downtown it collects everything from raw sewage to rainwater. The city decided to cover it up about a hundred years ago because it smelled, bred mosquitoes, and generally got in the way of developing downtown real estate. For whatever reason, an artist painted a blue stripe on the streets and sidewalks to show its path as it meandered through the city.

So, what does this have to do with the leak in our brand new stadium which caused millions of dollars of damage? Some rocket scientist decided to build the stadium on top of Pogue's Run. When we had a thunderstorm hit last week there was a lot of runoff in the storm sewers. At the same time, there was a new source of runoff-the stadium and all of the paved areas around it. As Pogue's run reached its capacity, so also was the capacity of the drainage system for the roof of the stadium. Water(and probably sewage)actually started to run vertically back UP the drainage pipes in the stadium as the rainwater was coming down from the roof. I'm not a civil engineer, but the pipes could not stand the stress and burst into the interior of the stadium.

So far, no one has admitted what caused the water damage. They know. However, after spending over $700 million nobody has the guts to fess up to the taxpayers. They are just praying that the heavy rains are over until they can find the cash to move a long forgotten underground waterway.

Panhandler Inflation

2008-07-14T16:29:00.004-04:00

Everyone knows that it is less expensive to live in Indy than in places like Chicago or New York. So, it stands to reason that it must cost more to be a panhandler there, too.

Well, this past weekend, the little lady and I took a long weekend getaway in Chicago. We stayed in the lovely Sofitel Hotel near Water Tower. We asked the concierge for a recommendation of a nearby restaurant as we had decided to hoof it the entire weekend. And, just like Indy, the panhandlers are lurking everywhere shaking their cups. Very few say much, but they all know how to shake the cup.

However, as we proceeded up Rush Street for our reservation at Carmine's Italian Restaurant (which BTW was wonderful), a woman sitting on the sidewalk spoke out to us as we walked by. I never make the mistake of making eye contact, but my lip-reading wife can't help herself. After we passed her I asked, "What did she say?".

"Blank check(?), Visa card(?), or $100 cash?"

She must be a Dale Carnegie Sales School graduate.

My (Baby-Boomer) Presidents

2008-07-12T16:36:00.001-04:00

Since we have finished the presidential primaries and will soon be in the campaign for the new President of the United States I thought I'd reflect on the commander-in-chiefs since I was hatched and what I remember them for.

Harry Truman-He could make a decision even if it meant over 100,000 were going to die as a result. I can't even imagine.

Dwight D. "Ike" Eisenhower-Didn't do much while he was pres other than play a lot of golf. As a result, he spent a helluva lot less of our money.

John F. Kennedy-JFK had the charisma of a movie star and the sex drive to sleep with one. Somewhere along the way he pissed someone off and we lost him. I was really upset when he was assassinated. It felt like the world was going to end. But, my little brother, Joe, was born a week later and life moved on.

Lyndon B. Johnson-A mean old man who exercised his immense power in Washington to get what he wanted. He took Roosevelt's Fair Deal and ramped it up to the Great Society. That's political talk for dramatic increases in domestic federal spending. He snookered the public into believing we needed to go to war with Vietnam. It was a big mistake and it ultimately wore him out.

Richard M. Nixon-"Tricky Dick" could have been a great president, but he was a serious Rule #1 violator. He thought he was bigger than the law and he paid the price. Shameful.

Jimmy Carter-Probably was the smartest president of our time and the least effective. The country was a mess under his watch.

Ronald Reagan-This guy could flat out communicate. You wanted to believe everything he said. I saw him speak before he was president and it was something special. Nancy was kind of a pain in the ass, though.

George H. W. Bush-It's hard to know whether he was defending our interests in the Middle East or was he doing the dirty work for his Saudi Arabian buddies.

Bill Clinton-How could one person cheat and lie, yet still be so admired by everyone except his wife.

George W. Bush-Just a disaster. How could one president do so much harm to such a great nation in just eight years. We'll be paying for his mistakes for a very long time. Unlike Clinton, his wife likes him. Somebody has to.

Now, we must decide between two polar opposites trying to morph into moderates. Geez, can we have a do-over?

Gun Control II

2008-06-30T16:57:00.002-04:00

Assuming today is a typical day in America, there have been 34 more people killed by gunfire since I posted my blog yesterday. That is more people than were killed last year in the Virginia Tech massacre. Remember how shocked you were that day. Well, you should be shocked everyday.

Send a letter to your congressman before one of your loved ones is a statistic.

Gun Control

2008-06-29T18:24:00.004-04:00

First, I need to tell you where I am coming from. I was born the day that President Truman ordered 50,000 troops into Korea to stop the spread of communism and as a youngster, a hunter shot "Bambi's"(look it up) mother. Then, I grew up to the sounds of air raid sirens signaling the impending attack from the Cuban nuclear missiles in the '60's. Then, we spent our childhood shooting each other with our "tommy guns" and "Matel" (the same folks that created the "Barbie Doll")toy guns. But, we all lived to play another day.

Now, my contemporaries in the Supreme Court still seem to think(that's debatable) that we need to have guns to protect ourselves. Give me a freakin' break! They voted 5-4 to allow everyone in the U.S.A. the right to have a gun.

As a result, over a hundred people die in Indianapolis annually as a result of gunfire.

Anyone who wants to become President will be wary to even bring it up, but whoever has the courage to propose legislation to take guns out of the hands of everyone other than law enforcement and the military will earn my vote.

Nuf said.

My Reconciliation Tax Bill & Bart

2008-06-12T14:27:00.004-04:00

For those of you who are out of the loop, the property taxes are whacked out in Indianapolis, especially downtown. My tax bill last year for the property I own nearly doubled from 2006 to 2007. However, when the you know what hit the fan, the governor told everyone to pay their 2006 tax bill in 2007 and that the state would bill us the difference in 2008. Confused? Most people are.

Well, I received my "2007 Reconciliation" bill today. The property taxes are still 50% to 80% higher than 2006 and this is after the state raised the sales tax by 1% and the city raised the restaurant tax by 1%.Then, they raised the local income tax an additional .65% while not allowing any debate from the public.

To put it another way, it is like buying a new car with cash and then walking out the door of the dealership and setting it on fire-every year.

So what does this have to do with Bart Peterson? In case you do not remember, he was the smiley face that spent all of the money which created the tax mess. Well, I decided to ease into my work day by having breakfast in one of my favorite haunts-Shapiro's Delicatessen and try to forget about my taxes while reading about my 401K going down the tubes in the Wall Street Journal. When, who should appear? Old smiley face Bart was back in town from his stint teaching government at Harvard. Hey, you need to teach the future leaders how to overspend while they're young.

Maybe I could spill some coffee on him. No, he was in the corner of the room and it would have been too obvious. Or, how about throwing my bagel at him. No, was I hungry. I could have just walked over and bitch-slapped him. No, I don't like lawyers or jails. I guess I just could have made him a deal on my new low-mileage burned out Chevy.

What Is Going On?

2008-06-11T13:11:00.002-04:00

Who wants to guess where the price of oil is going to be? I thought I knew, but I was low. I thought people would wise-up around $2.50 per gallon of gasoline. Nope. Then, I thought things would grind to a halt at $3.50. Nope. Traffic was just as heavy as ever.
Now, we've passed $4.00 and they say demand is down a measly 4%. Wake up people! It's going higher. Now is not the time to cash in your 401K just so you can fill up your SUV to go to the mall. Demand has overtaken supply. If you don't understand that basic premise, it's too late for you.

Not to sound like an old fart, but I'm not so sure the little lady and I are going to start living a little like we did back when we got hitched. You don't need to be married to cut back, but it's always easier when you're a team. I can't tell you how seldom we had dinner out and how often we ate macaroni & cheese with crackers crumbled on top to make it look like a "dish". Moreover, I never bought tires for the old heap if you could still see the tread lines on the tires. It made driving in the rain more fun anyway. We had no A/C, no dishwasher, no cable(we did have a 15" color RCA, though), and could fit all of our clothes in a 4 ft. closet with room to spare.

So, what do you do? Live on what you make, live with the ones you love, and vote all of the knuckleheads in your local, state, and federal government out of office who messed up a pretty good thing,

My #1 Pet Peeve

2008-05-05T15:20:00.002-04:00

Everyone has a #1 pet peeve. Yours might be lousy drivers, people who talk too much or too loud, smokers, drunks, liberals, conservatives, television commercials, traffic, Windows upgrades, losing a button, hot flashes, bad spelling & improper grammar, unrelenting increase in the price of gas, taxes, politicians, and I could go on and on. But, I won't. Let's get back to my #1.

My #1 pet peeve relates to my work. What I do for a living is not rocket science and it is not important what I actually do , but let's say after 36 years of hearing most of the questions that pertain to my industry at least a hundred times, I have most of the answers on the tip of my tongue when I hear "I am having trouble with my _______". Since my job is helping people solve their problems and getting them back to making a living, I am more than willing to help. And, in return, they will purchase my products and services. We both win.

However, I continue to encounter folks who have tried everything that "they know" and cannot solve the problem at hand. So, after patiently listening, I give them a possible solution based on my 36 years(which BTW is way too long in any business)of experince. You would think the response would be, "I'll give that a try" or "Why didn't I think of that?" or "You're a frigging genius".

No, that's not what they say. They say, "That's can't be right". Not right? This is not a multiple choice test where answers A, B, C, and D are incorrect and E is none of the above. If they know what's not right and they don't know what is right, why are they wasting my time!

That's my #1. And if you don't agree, don't call me.

Self-efficacy & The Lukens Gene

2008-04-30T16:07:00.003-04:00

I'm not trying to impress you with my vocabulary, but I read an interesting article in the Wall Street Journal today that described "self-efficacy". The article was titled "If at First You Don't Succeed, You're in Excellent Company". It detailed all of the famous people you've read about and their corresponding failures followed by magnificent successes.

One particular example was Thomas Edison and his eventual invention of the light bulb. After 1000 failures he finally found the right combination. Later, he described it not as 1000 failures, but merely 1000 steps. I guess that's why people with "self-efficacy" don't quit when others would...they just expect a series of steps to happen before they get the job done.

So, what does Thomas Edison have to do with "Self-efficacy"? As quoted in the WSJ, "What makes some people rebound from defeat while others throw in the towel?" Self-efficacy-the unshakable belief that they have what it takes to succeed...because they believe persistent effort will let them beat the odds". I asked Julie about this term and of course, getting her doctorate in "behavioral science", she instructed me that a guy named Al Bandura came up with this term and it is a major concept in the field of helping people change their behavior...who knew??

Suddenly, it occurred to me that I know of a group of these people and they ALL have the same last name-Lukens. Matter of fact, I married one of them and you've never seen a more determined bunch in your life. They are changing health care, where we will get our oil someday, they have built bridges and dams in places where they couldn't be built, built churches, and include several women who ran companies when it was thought only men could. Whatever the challenge, they have the stuff to do whatever needs to be done. And I warn you, do not try to stop them. They won't let you!

Presidential Campaigning in Indiana?

2008-04-26T19:37:00.002-04:00

Lo and behold, after 40 years of being ignored other than the occasional flyby for a fund raiser, there are real(sorry Ralph Nader) presidential candidates running around Indiana telling us how important we are.

Well, they're a little late. The last time the Indiana primary meant anything, I wasn't eligible to vote. Even if I had been, the best candidate at the time was Nixon?! Anyway, I was more worried about passing organic chemistry, avoiding the draft, and getting dumped by a girlfriend. I had my priorities.

Now, I'm more concerned with eating organic, avoiding drafty rooms, and staying regular.

I do have a new priority which is a comfortable retirement which brings me back to the candidates. They can make retirement difficult for a boomer. How? They promise you everything and deliver nothing. I don't believe Hilliary anymore, McCain will eventually do a 180 on his positions, and Obama keeps talking about "change" in Washington. I frankly believe the federal government cannot "change" while it is being controlled by hundreds of special interests.

So, what can I do? Vote. Hopefully, everyone will vote, because I can live with what the majority wants. That's what a democracy is suppose to be all about.

Bad Decisions by .....

2008-04-08T13:55:00.002-04:00

Indiana University
*Hiring Mike Davis, Rick Greenspan, Kelvin Sampson, & Adam Herbert
*Firing Bobby too late & retiring Bill Mallory too soon
*Spending $100 million on new athletic facilities when they can't sellout their current venues
*Making me take German and Organic Chemistry

Eric Gordon
*Coming to IU to play basketball
*Leaving college early for the NBA
*Thinking he is ready for "the next level"
*Thinking he was ready for basketball in "The Big Ten"

Hilliary Clinton
*Marrying Bill Clinton (obviously)
*Thinking she would be a good President (obviously)
*Picking Evan Bayh as her running mate (Ha! Ha! Ha!-God, I hope not)

Bart Peterson
*Building Lucas Oil Stadium
*Building a $30 million library for $140 million
*Building a $1 billion airport terminal when the one we have is adequate
*Taking my vote for granted along with 54% of the taxpayers in Marion County

George H.W. Bush
*Thinking Barbara was cute
*Thinking Jeb was good name for a son
*Not giving a full set of chromosomes to George W. Bush

George W. Bush
*Running for Governor of Texas
*Running for President of the United States
*Not taking English as a second language at Yale

But seriously, the only bad decision you can make is not making one.

Ten Rules to Live By According to Julie & AskIndyTed

2008-03-17T16:24:00.003-04:00

1) If you drink, do not drive. Take a cab.
2) Do not jump on trampolines unless you are employed by Ringling Brothers Circus.
3) Do not ride on motorcycles even if you are sober.
4) If you are married, be faithful. If you're Eliot Spitzer, you're history.
5) Pay your bills on time. Credit is a wonderful thing when it is used properly.
6) If you treat the ladies nice, they'll treat you nice.
7) If no one likes you, get a dog. They will love you unconditionally.
8) If you don't care if anyone likes you, get a cat.
9) When you are having a lousy day, donate blood. It sounds gross, but you'll feel better having helped someone else.
10)Winter in Indiana sucks!

The Crossroads of Air Pollution

2008-03-14T16:39:00.003-04:00

I have just been informed by my lovely daughter-in-law that Indy is the sixth most toxic city in the nation. For the most part she is correct. However, if the city planners 150+ years ago had known about the creation of the EPA, they would have laid out the city a little differently.

There is no dispute that if you tape a plain piece of paper to the hood of your car on a typical day in Indianapolis, there will be a layer of black grit on it by the end of the day. Hey, we're breathing this crap. No wonder I can't run a marathon in spite of the fact I have never trained for one. Nevertheless, the air is full of crud. Where's it coming from? Well, very innocently most of the industry, power plants, airports, and major distribution warehouses with the affiliated trucking companies are all located on the west side of town. With the prevailing wind out of the west all of the crud gets blown right over the main part of town where the EPA very sensibly measures air pollution.

Cities with the industrial bases on the east, north, or south sides of town just get grazed by the nasty little boogers. So, until Cummins Engine finds a way to catch all of the particulates from diesel engines, IPL builds a nuclear plant somewhere downwind so all of the radioactive fallout lands on Ohio, and the airlines start using biofuels we are going to be on the list. It is kind of like building a campfire and then standing in the smoke while you roast your weenies.

A Chat and New "Old" Technology

2008-03-06T20:05:00.004-05:00

I was out of town today making sales calls, so I had not checked my e-mail until I arrived home at 5:30PM. Well, suddenly my oldest son Kyle, who lives in New York, sends me an instant message from North Carolina. He is there on a shoot for CBS Sports Television (formerly CSTV). Amazing, eh? When all of the sudden my second oldest son, Joel, sends me an instant message from Ireland! You know, the land of the potato blight and green scenic views? So, I message back that I am chatting with Kyle online. Next thing I know we are chatting between the three of us from my living room in NapTown.

Dorothy, we're not in Kansas anymore.

Next thing you know, Reynolds Aluminum will be bringing out a new foil for my rabbit ears so I won't get a shadow on Channel 4.

Daily Cost of Lucas Oil Stadium

2008-02-26T17:50:00.003-05:00

I don't mean to throw cold water over all of the euphoria of our new stadium, but I thought you might find it interesting to know just what our new pile of bricks and steel is going to cost the citizens of metropolitan Indy EVERY day for the next 30 years.

The Star reported today that the projected amount that will be borrowed upon completion of the stadium is $704 million and the interest rate on the bonds will be 4.23%. I wish I could get a rate like that on my house, but what the heck.

So, how much is it going to cost us? Well, when we pay all of the principle & interest and assuming we never re-finance it like the RCA Dome, the total payments will be $1,243,806,000 plus change. That will amount to $113,589.00 per day. But wait, don't forget the annual maintenance cost of $10 million...like Bart did when he sold the deal to the taxpayers. That will ad another $27,397.00 daily for a total of $140,986.00 per day! Thank goodness the city doesn't pay property taxes. If it did under Governor Daniels new property tax formula it would cost an additional $57,535 per day but in reality that cost will just be shifted to Marion County taxpayers.

What really irks me is that Jimmy Irsay will pay nothing unless he dines at St. Elmo's and yet he will receive 100% of the revenue from Colts games and 50% of the net revenue for all non-Colts events.

To pay for all of this, the city will primarily rely on the 2% restaurant tax. In other words, we can pay for it if every man, woman, and child in Central Indiana buys a value meal at McDonald's everyday for the next thirty years. The architects must have already been aware of this. All of the new seats in the stadium are designed to accommodate overweight people. Brilliant! Let's just make sure there are extra EMT's to handle the increased heart attack rate during games!

A Beakthrough for AskIndyTed

2008-02-24T17:18:00.004-05:00

Over the past few weeks my beautiful bride has been transitioning from a corporate executive who has been eating outside the home too frequently to a consultant and soon-to-be something else who has decided to start cooking at home while doing Weight Watchers online. It's been wonderful! Great chow at a fraction of the cost WITHOUT contributing one red cent to the "2% Restaurant Dome Tax". For you out-of-towner's, the city decided it would be a burden to tax groceries for the benefit of Jimmy Irsay while it pays for a new stadium and gives most of the revenue to him.

So, what does all of that have to do with a breakthrough for me? Well, the Mrs. wanted to go out to our old Sunday night haunt for dinner. How could I tell her no? She's been a trouper.

So, I got myself cleaned up this afternoon and took her out. Well, unbeknown st to her, I did something a little different. I did NOT put on any socks! Just me and my UGG's. Shocking! People have been trying for me to take my socks off and use "product" in my hair for years. Well, the socks are off. Stay tuned on my hair.

Next thing you know, I'll be sticking an Obama sign in my front yard.