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I am at the end of my rope. Is there any hope for this guy?

bookgirl18 — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 14:21:09 -0800

I am at my wit's end with this relationship. What's left?

Hi y'all,

After quite a while of lurking, I've given in and decided to join. (This is a wonderful community that I'm glad to be a part of!)

I hate to start off with a long RelationshipFilter question, but I think an objective, outside perspective on this situation might be helpful.
I have been dating BF for ten months now. BF is an uber-science nerd, an MD/PhD with little to no relationship experience, whereas I am a bit of a serial monogamist and keep finding myself in long-term relationships despite myself.

We are extremely different, which is not in itself a dealbreaker. He is as practical, rational, and emotionally clueless as I am dreamy and poetic. He likes to stay in, I'm more social. We had been friends for a while before dating, so we enjoy each other's company and appreciate each other's senses of humor. Plus, if I may say so, he is the first person not myself or a little red bullet to bring me to orgasm. So, um, that is nice. ;)

However, his overall emotional insensitivity is reaching baffling, upsetting heights, so much so that I am contemplating giving up. I've tried communicating my issues openly and clearly, without yelling, crying, or being irrational (I hope), but as of this post, nothing has changed enough.

He can be abrasive and very opinionated. I work in publishing and am thinking of humanities grad programs (another post!), while he wants me to succeed but can't understand why anyone would go into a non-science or economics field. He tries but doesn't seem to really care about what I do or understand what drives me, which saddens me.

He has claimed that he "doesn't really feel things," which, since he is not a robot, can't literally be true. But, it's pretty extreme.

Case in point: I, on the other hand, had a particularly brutal day on which my apartment was robbed AND an acquaintance of mine passed away, tragically and young. I came to him for comfort and support and he stared at me blankly, asking why I was getting so upset. This did not make me feel better. It was only when I started sobbing that he paid attention.

Another sore spot has been other women, unfortunately. I have been cheated on before in prior relationships, so, despite myself, I probably lean on the insecure side. Quite a few women seem interested in him, and he does not do a good job of acting disinterested. The other night, a friend and I were discussing past heartbreak, and he chimed in with, "Oh, do I count as someone who has cheated on you?" .....Cue awkward and puzzled looks from my friend and me. (Poor friend has never been so uncomfortable in her life.)
When I retorted, "I don't know.....do you?", he said he was making a joke. ?
Later that evening, he spent an entire party chatting up one single girl (to whom he did introduce me as his girlfriend, admittedly), which is not in itself a huge offense. But on the heels of that earlier remark, and of so much prior emotional stupidity, it did not please me.

I have tried explaining that other girls wouldn't concern me if I felt better about *us*. That, when feeling insecure, all I needed was a, "Don't worry about other girls, I'm happy with YOU" or some such thing.
Instead, what he said was, "I am sometimes tempted by other girls, but I don't act on it." EPIC FAIL. I almost walked out then and there.
Even if that is true (and sure, we know it probably is), who would say that at a moment like this? Moreover, isn't there a difference between looking at hot models or passers-by and being "tempted" by people?

I have gotten him to admit that emotions confuse him, that he loves being with me but doesn't know where it's going, that he is not cheating (which I feel I must believe), and that he is not consciously trying to make me jealous or play manipulative games. I even saw him tear up when he realized how badly hurt I feel. But nothing has changed.

MeFites, the heart of it is that I am exhausted and feel small. I consider myself a patient person but have never felt so sad and let down by someone to whom I give so much time and energy and care. I have never had a previous relationship like this. What would you do if you were me at this point? Is there anything left to save?

Thanks for the read. :)

What's this sexual lightning bolt that I feel?

KateHasQuestions — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 13:23:44 -0800

Whenever I am close to someone I am sexually attracted to, I feel this spark go through my whole body. Is there a name for it? Why does this happen and what's going on in my body?

Ever since I first felt this spark when I was 13, it's how I know whether I am attracted to someone or not. I've kissed some guys I thought were ridiculously hot and not felt the spark and knew I didn't want to kiss them again, and then there've been times when I'm hanging out with some not so great looking dudes and I feel the spark even before there's any kiss or touching!

I've described it to a few friends and they always said "yea, it's the butterflies in your stomach" but it's not just butterflies and it's not just my stomach. It feels like a mini lightning bolt that starts deep inside below my stomach, or somewhere around where the uterus would be (I think), and within a second spreads throughout my whole body, down to my girly parts and my knees, and up to my hands, and it kind of takes over for a second and makes me a little dizzy and a little weak, at the same time giving me chills, and it feels so so good. If a spark-causing guy is holding my hand and doing that thing with moving his thumb around in a circle, the spark pretty much keeps going. If I think about the guy and the spark later I can re-create it over and over. It's kind of weird, but the spark is really easy to recreate if I have to pee and I'm squeezing to prevent that - so there's something there that's related to the pelvic muscles. After several months of being with one person the spark sometimes fades, but can be brought back with one really passionate kiss.

So what is going on physically when I feel the spark? Are millions of sexually excited neurons happily racing through my body? Is there a name for this phenomenon?

Short-term relationship. How fun! Now what?

Anonymous — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 13:18:38 -0800

I'm part of a short-term couple. We both know it will probably end in about six months from now, due to a long-distance move. I feel that there's a multitude of things I can experiment with here, due to the short-term nature of the (non?)relationship. But what are those things? Also: I know that each relationship is different, but what are the general rules of such relationships, anyway? How am I supposed to be in love, without falling in love? What can I do to make the most of the time we have left?

Sure, I'm probably wasting my time in a dead-end relationship. But never mind that.

By experimentation, I don't necessarily mean sexual experimentation. Although I'm open to that, too. The sex life has been great so far, because my inhibitions are gone (no future for us! nothing to be embarrassed about in the future!). "Oh, you came? No, you will not go to sleep. I'm having my turn." Although this, of course, is good for both of us, and for any future relationships?

So far, I've learnt to be more assertive, because I don't think, "Oh, shit. Did I do something wrong? What if we break up?" I know our relationship is likely to end in about six months, and am not worried about long-term impact. At the same time, I don't want to come off as a selfish jerk.

In the future, I'd like both of us to look back at this time and think, Ah, those six months were fantastic. Hivemind, tell me how to behave in this sort of thing!

Looking for affordable 9-month housing near Kirkland, WA

dcruzin — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 12:55:02 -0800

Looking for recommendations for an affordable apartment/studio complex within 20min of the Bungie offices in Kirkland, WA for a 9 month lease.

I'm looking for whatever might be cheaper, be it in Redmond or maybe further to the East. The workplace, from last I heard, is in Kirkland, but a ten to twenty minute commute isn't too big a problem. Of course, I would prefer to live in Kirkland, but I'm thinking with rates as high as $900 a month, I'm not sure if I could afford much else. Do you think there might be anything around the $600-700 range for a studio or maybe even a sublet? Craigslist can only do so much in terms of finding vacant apartments, whereas subletters are much easier on the wallet but only for temporary housing solutions. I'm going to be there for 9 months.

What kind of boots is the Governor of California wearing in Terminator 2?

Anonymous — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 12:47:32 -0800

I need ya cloz, ya bootz and ya motacycle. . . Actually, just the boots would be fine.

Google turns up no discussion I can find about what make/model of boots they might be. I think the type of boot is called "Engineer."

Looking at this video at 3:25, you can clearly see the boots:

My theory is that they are either some type of steel toed Chippewa like this. Or a Carolina boot

I don't ride a motorcycle, never have, never will, and I purely want these boots for my birthday because I like how they look. Total poser move, hence the anon posting.

Does anyone know the specific kind of boot worn by the Terminator?

Should I tell him that I -like- him like him?

Anonymous — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 12:45:14 -0800

I am a relationship tease or a welcome ego boost?

I was introduced to a gentleman through some mutual friends. He and I hit if off instantly and have had the opportunity to get together (platonically) without our pals tagging along and have had boatloads of fun.

However, for all intents and purposes I am happily unavailable to new relationships. Even if I were single there are a bevy of logistical reasons why things wouldn't work out. Now, the object of my crush hasn't had the best of luck with the opposite sex lately, and I learned that his lack of relationships has caused a small dip in his self confidence. I'm considering letting him know that I think he's a catch even though I have no intention of trying to get together with him.

Would I just be making his situation worse if I told him that I think he's dreamy? If the tables were turned I think it would be nice to know that someone thought that way about me. Am I considering committing a giant psychological no no? Or am I putting way too much thought into something that's a simple as "If I were single, I'd date you"?

Please leave the status/quality of my current relationship come to question in your answers.

security clearance + previous drug use?

Anonymous — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 12:44:40 -0800

If a person smoked pot in early July 2009, what is the likelihood of that person getting a secret security clearance for summer 2010 federal government internships? Is there anything that person can do now to maximize chance of getting a clearance?

Other relevant details: various drugs used from 2004-2006 (though in relative moderation except for high frequency of smoking weed), then 1x or 2x a month marijuana usage from then on. Came to a full stop after July 4, 2009 before starting graduate school and have no plans to resume drug use ever.

Various websites say that the general rule is "12 months of no drugs," but it is ambiguous as to whether that is for top secret or secret.

Again, this person is looking for secret clearance rather than top secret, and this is for non-intel positions with the US government. And most internships start in May.

Basically, is it worth it to even apply for positions that require applicant to eventually get a secret clearance for the summer? Is there anything that can be done to help get this thing? (and, uh, if the answer is "there's no way in hell that you'll get the clearance," does anyone know of any federal agencies that don't require clearance?)

Throwaway gmail account that I'll check: governmentandsmoking@gmail.com

Contractor estimate and accounting for cost overruns?

pakoothefakoo — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 12:43:02 -0800

My friend is buying an old brownstone in Brooklyn that needs to be gut renovated. The question is how accurate the contractor estimate is and should he account for cost overruns, if so, by how much?

My friend is about to purchase an old brownstone in Brooklyn that needs a lot of work. It's a 5 story building, with approximately 16,000 square feet of space. The buildings needs its pipes replaced, a new heating system, electrical work, and the foundations (or more specifically the supporting columns in the cellar needs to be replaced, along with some wood replacements due to termite infestation.

Two contractors gave him an estimate in the 120-150k range for all the above. Is this reasonable? Should he expect cost overruns and if so, by how much?

Do I 'need' a gaming laptop to play MMOs?

Kurichina — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 12:37:12 -0800

Do I 'need' a gaming laptop to play MMOs?

Computer hardware knowledgable people: what sort of system do you use for determining your 'needs' for a computer? My HP lappy conked out last week (very likely a motherboard failure, I'm told) and I'm in the market for a new one. It wasn't an ideal time financially for this to happen, so I don't want to spend anymore money than I have to. However, I also want this next laptop to last 4-5 years if possible, or, at the very least, 3.

I'm not a huge gamer, but I started playing a fair amount of WoW earlier this year and it's not unreasonable to think I may branch out into a few other MMOs. On my old, mid-range HP, WoW had many errors (not able to process the zone files and crashing) and was generally frustrating. Other than the games, my needs are fairly basic: a small amount of graphic design, word processing/spreadsheets, listen to music and watch DVDs/blu-rays. Is it worthwhile to splash out on a newer, more powerful processor *(quad core or I7, for e.g.) and some extra memory or will this be money wasted due to not using this power? Is there an objective (i.e. not trying to sell me something) site out there that will determine my hardware needs?

I've seen this but that question didn't discuss the needs of MMOs, and I'm not interested in the PC vs Mac side of things. (For reasons of cost and wanting to keep using the same software I already own, some of it purchased at "educational" prices for which I no longer qualify, I'm sticking with a PC.)

Don't go into in the basement. Or the attic. Or the cabin.

The Whelk — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 12:20:11 -0800

Call it the Psycho Effect: Me: Lover of horror movies and analysis thereof. Problem: Having read so much analysis I've been either spoiled by or inured to most Classics Of Horror and have developed odd prejudices against certain devices. Help me scare myself silly with new movies. Prejudices inside.

Some of my prejudices:

AsyYouKnow: I don't need a long "scientific" explanation and they never make sense anyway. Creepy, unexplained, magical, whatever. I don't care, just don't bring dimensions and genetics into it.
Handheld Cameras: Annoys the hell out of me,
Over F/X: Doesn't work on me (Drag Me To Hell was hilarious, not scary)
Over Gorey: Lazy and after while the "it's just corn syrup!" sets in and then I spend half the movie trying to figure out how it was done and that's not scary.
Torture Porn: You're gonna have to be better than people getting cut up. See above
People Generally Acting Like Idiots: But that's just good storywriting. The tighter the script, the better.

Stuff I Like

Low budget
Isolated or confined enviroment
Limited time-frame
Sparse effects
Unhappy endings

I've seen a lot of the recent horror movies (The Ring, Cabin Fever, Scream, 28 Days Later, The whole Evil Dead/Nightmare On Elm St/Jason collections, etc) and too many of the classics have been totally spoiled by reading about them (my fault) or having to write long papers on them.

Buying odd dice in bulk

Mozai — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 12:10:05 -0800

Where would I purchase dice in bulk? Not just six-sided dice you'd find in Risk or Monopoly, but tetraherdral (4-sided, pyramid) or dodecahedral (12-sided, cries itself to sleep)?

It seems the cheapest place -- indeed, the source for many places -- is Chesshex. I was hoping for a better price than $0.55 per unit since my game idea requires 32-50 of the pyramid-shaped dice.

What has he got to lose by filing Chapter 13?

shaarog — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 11:47:41 -0800

Chap 13 filter: Asking for a friend. Some months ago he tried (unsuccessfully) to get a lower interest rate. I do not have any more details as he is very embarrassed to discuss. Should he file Chapter 13 to save his house?

He has not made a mortgage payment since Feb and his house will go on the auction block Dec 1. He has tried to negotiate with his leander and has just been told he is out of options.
He says to save his house he will need to file Chapter 13. Does anyone have any experience or advice on this? With the economy changing so drastically recently is this a good idea or not? What should he expect?

Could you tell me about how much these diamond earrings are worth? More inside...

picapica — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 11:32:49 -0800

Could you tell me about how much these diamond earrings are worth? More inside...

I would like to find out about how much these diamond earrings are worth, but I don't need an exact amount. Can anyone help me with this?

Relevant information:
-2 diamond earrings, purchased for $600.00 in 1975
-14k white gold setting
-.96 point (This I don't quite understand. On the receipt it says ".96 Point", but on another tag it says "96 TW".)

Thank you!!

Work boots - need 'em!

brandman — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 11:32:02 -0800

So, know of any good work boots?

After going through a couple of cheap pairs of work boots in the past 5-6 years, I'm looking to make an investment in a nice pair that will last a long time. The normal use case would be yard work, snow shoveling, etc. - not much much walkin' around town or anything like that. The primary value proposition for me is (1) durable, (2) comfortable, (3) warm & dry. I'm aware of brands like Red Wing, Timberland, and Wolverine, and I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts on those and any others. Thanks!

I like-o the taiko?

DolorousEdd — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 11:19:18 -0800

Introduce me to some great taiko drumming!

I've discovered Kodo, but I'm sure there are many more fantastic groups out there. Hook me up!

Therapist Training in Boston

zizzle — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 11:13:52 -0800

Boston area mental health professionals, can you help me out?

I realize this comes on the heels of this post, so I hope the Hivemind can forgive this different but related question as I'm truly stuck.

I started my Masters in Mental Health Counseling in Fall 2006 and am finally in a position to complete it next year. Hooray! However, I have one last requirement on my way to getting this long awaited for Masters, and that is the practicum.

I have to complete a 450 hour clinical practicum over the course of the academic year from September - May, during which I need to see 8 - 10 clients on an individual basis each week and can use the other time for other clinical assistance (leading groups, etc.). I also need to be allowed to tape record 10 sessions/year to be reviewed by my program director (and only only only the program director). This appears to be stumbling block one.

Stumbling block two is that many places would happily, most definitely, assuredly! take me if I were say --- an MSW or clinical psychology student, but because my credentials would be that of an Licensed Mental Health Clinician (were I to eventually seek licensure), I do not qualify.

I've tried college counseling centers (have a few to send an application to), community health centers, private centers, etc., and don't seem to be able to find enough places to apply to based on the above!

Clinical areas of interest include but are not limited to: young adult, GLBTQ, multicultural counseling, substance abuse, and eating disorders.

I'm willing to try anywhere that's accessible by the T and/or the commuter rail going north (we may be moving to the North Shore). I'm happy to receive MeMail suggestions and just as happy to provide any more information that might be relevant. This would be my first clinical experience.

So, if you happen to be mental health professional in the Greater Boston area, could you recommend an organization? Would your own take a Masters student? Did you do your clinical practicum or internship somewhere that might still have a training program? Conversely, if you sought counseling in the Boston area and happened to see a counseling student, would you mind letting me know where?

I really desperately oh-so-very-much want to finish this degree! Help me do it!

What exactly am I learning and how can I use it for fun and profit?

doift — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 11:11:00 -0800

I work in a major US art museum, helping to manage the database that is used to keep track of the art, exhibitions, etc. In the context of this job, I have developed, quite unintentionally, a decent working knowledge of Crystal Reports and a little bit of experience with SQL queries. Other than this museum-specific experience, I know little about the world of databases. What other jobs could I do building on these skills, what else would I need to learn to do those jobs, and how should I go about learning it?

The database software that we use is TMS, which is probably the most common software used by larger museums. I got into this particular job the way most folks do, by doing a lot of data entry at various museums and becoming a relatively advanced user, and stumbling into a job helping to manage the database and train other staff how to use it. Now I want out of the museum database world for a variety of reasons. The thing I like best about my job is the little data cleanup projects that make it easier for users to search for things- taking a hodgepodge of information and making it consistent is pretty satisfying.

So, educate me about the wide world of databases and the job outlook therein. I don't have a huge interest or aptitude in hardcore tech and programming, but I wouldn't mind moving in that direction to some degree.

You got me so I don't know what this song is

TimeTravelSpeed — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 11:06:39 -0800

Help me identify a song I heard briefly on the radio. I'm pretty sure it was Van Halen, and I think it might have been "Got me goin" but with a long Joe Satriani-like intro solo. However, all the renditions I've found online have no such intro, so I'm second-guessing myself.

The intro was ~30 seconds long and was melodic. There's a long finger-tapping bit which plays around with different arpeggio scales followed by a few seconds of silence and electric guitars launching into a recognizable intro to a famous tune that I just don't remember now.

Sub-question: what other finger-tapping solos are fun to play on guitar? For example, "Hot for Teacher" by Van Halen, "Digital Love" or "Aerodynamic" by Daft Punk, etc.

Use of word "rennet" on labels

Morrigan — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 11:00:53 -0800

If a food lists rennet among its ingredients, am I right in assuming that it is most likely animal rennet?

To put it another way, if the labels simply says "rennet," can I assume it is not vegetable, microbial or genetically engineered rennet and therefore is not appropriate for a vegetarian to eat? Or might some manufacturers use "rennet" as an umbrella term?

Wallet Chain

flipmiester99 — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 10:59:08 -0800

WalletChainFilter:Im looking for a very heavy duty thick worn in looking chain for my wallet. The one that came with it is just like every other cheap rinky dink chain. Anyone know where i can find one? Ive looked everywhere! Just to be clear this is what i have now and is NOT what im looking for. Thanks!!

Is it possible to arrange direct deposit between two individuals?

HotToddy — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 10:43:47 -0800

How can I, an individual (not a business), automate a regular monthly payment to another individual (not a business) so that the payment is moved from my bank account into theirs? It can't involve issuing a paper check to the recipient which they then deposit--it needs to go straight to their account.

Currently I have a supply of their deposit slips and just send the payment directly to their bank, but it's the only paper check I have to write, so I'd really like to automate it.

Going from friends to more-than-friends to back to friends, successfully.

Anonymous — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 10:41:30 -0800

Going from friends to more-than-friends to back to friends, successfully. Can it be done?

I've known a guy for a total of 8 months, starting off initially as friends, but not very close at all. We are part of the same social circle and participate in a group activity together very regularly. Over time we became closer friends, flirted a hell of a lot, and eventually began a relationship.

Said relationship lasted about 2 months, when his behavior changed dramatically towards me. He made a lot of comments about "being friends" and has obviously been avoiding me. I asked him what was up and got a "I like you a lot, but not in that way" speech, which I expected. I'm okay with this. I'm pretty sure it wasn't going anywhere, but I still felt a little heartbroken and rejected nonetheless, so I've been avoiding him. It's been about 3 weeks now since this happened, and I'm over it and just want to go back to the way things were before.

So we're still part of the same social circle/group activity and are around each other pretty regularly, and he's obviously avoiding me. I'm just trying to be friendly, but it seems he doesn't want to talk to me unless it involves "business" about the group activity. He's done a few jerk things (imo), such as mentioning screwing another chick, in my presence.

I don't know if with the way he is acting that it is possible to go back to just friends or if he even wants to. I can't see anything I did that would make him not want to be friends with me at all. I'm really trying to play it cool as I can't really avoid him entirely. A friend who is aware of the situation thinks he feels bad about the situation, and I remind him of that, so that is why he's avoiding me. If age matters, we're in our mid-late 20's.

So, is it even possible? Is there something I can do to help this along? He is a cool dude, that I like spending time with, and I'm not so good at making close friends, so I don't want to lose one if I can help it. But if it seems like it's a no go, then damnit.

Can I forgive myself for leaving my dying mother's side?

Anonymous — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 10:40:57 -0800

My mother is dying. How can I forgive myself for the guilt of leaving her bedside?

She was moved to hospice a week ago and at the time, was given "2-10 days" from two different doctors. I stayed with her for a week and then flew back home. Part of the reason I flew back is because I have a toddler and part of the reason is that it was extremely distressing for me. She has pneumonia, in addition to complications from several small strokes and the underlying issue is non-small cell lung cancer that metastasized to her bones. Her dying process is anything but "peaceful" - the noises, smells and deterioration of her body was making me physically ill. I had some "quiet time" with her to say my goodbyes and try to let her know it was time for her to be at peace (like everyone told me she might need to hear), but as time wore on, I couldn't stomach it anymore. I feel like I would be altered forever if I continued to witness this. However, I also feel extremely guilty for "abandoning" her during her last days. Well-meaning family and friends have told me it's "ok" and that it's a personal choice, etc. I switch between being comfortable with my decision to thinking she is "hanging on" because I'm not physically present with her.

More background: my mom was diagnosed last Christmas and immediately made legal documents putting me in charge. She went through treatment up to a few days before she fell and was admitted to a hospital. After a month, she was moved to hospice once we finally realized she was dying. This last step has been a blow to us because she was so "normal" up until her fall, so although we knew we would eventually be in this place, we didn't expect it NOW (who does, right?). I am the youngest of 3 kids, but she is mostly estranged from the other 2, plus my mom and I have always had a very close relationship, although we live 2000 miles away from each other. I have made 6-8 trips to see her this year and during her hospital stay, was there for more than half that time.

The problem I have is that I hear so many people say that there is "no way" they would leave their mother's side on her deathbed and I thought I would be the same way, but I just lost it and instead of extending my flight, came home instead. I feel like I am justifying coming back, even though nobody is judging me! I have contemplated flying back to her, just so I can be there ... but in reality, I'm torn. I want to be there, but I don't want to see/hear her death.

Please ... help me figure out a way to comes to terms with my guilt.

How do I get my brother out of the Marines?

Anonymous — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 10:40:34 -0800

How do I help my little brother get out of the Marines? My little brother (well, not so little anymore) recently graduated from Marines' boot camp and is now in infantry training (I think, I'm woefully ignorant of military terminology). He recently expressed to me online that he's basically had enough with the Marines and wants to go home. Is there any way he can do that simply and legally? Would he have to get a dishonorable discharge. Seriously, I know nothing about the military having come from a long line of cowards. Can he just leave or is there some special process? Is there some kind of hotline or something he can call to be counseled on this stuff?

Some more info: He's 18 years old, but he signed up when he was 17 with our mother's permission. He's stationed in South Carolina (again, I forget the name of the base... I'm a terrible older brother) somewhere. Our family lives in New Jersey, but I'm in California. If he needs to hide out from the military I have absolutely no problem taking him in (too dramatic?)

I'll also say that I feel more than a little guilty that I didn't protest more before he left for boot camp and that trying to help him get out of the Marines is probably my way of trying to make up for that. Maybe it's too little too late.

Questions concerning freelance writing "per word" rates.

joechip — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 10:27:47 -0800

I'm an occasional freelance writer with a background in print magazines considering taking an online gig. What kind of pay should I ask for?

From 2004-2008, I wrote book and movie reviews and conducted Q and A's for a Midwestern regional print publication with an annual circ. of around 150,000, making ten cents a word. Not fantastic, but I understood that to be an at least marginally acceptable rate, and I enjoyed the work.
This weekend I was offered a gig to churn out a 2-3000 thousand words a week for a pop-culture website (and I used to struggle to get around that many assigned a month!) Seems great, and it looks to be really easy stuff. I'm concerned, though, about the pay- it hasn't been discussed. Because of that, I haven't accepted yet.
I expect the pay to be lower than print, but I'm wondering how low we're talking about. BTW, I think the website gets a few hundred thousand clicks a month. Or is that how you even measure these things?

How can I share mail with my team?

geoff. — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 10:24:48 -0800

The team I'm working with is using Outlook 2007 and Exchange 2007. It seems like if there's a Project X we're all working on, there'd be an easy way to tag and share all e-mail related to the project. We thought of deploying Managed Folders, but it appears that you can only view your own managed folder. There must be a way of achieving this kind of functionality?

We figured out how to deploy a managed folder selector so that we can choose what projects we want to be on. Hey this worked great, but we probably should have deployed a test managed folder first as we quickly learned that you can't view what people put into their managed folders.

It appears that the Microsoft recommended way is setting up a Sharepoint site and saving the e-mail to lists. These lists can then be attached in Outlook 2007 as a mailbox store, so you have the functionality to drag and drop mail messages within Outlook. This seems less than ideal because now there's an Exchange AND Sharepoint box to manage mail messages. No one is jumping at the chance to do this.

We were toying with creating a mailbox store for the individual projects and everyone on a particular project given access to this. The added functionality being that people could CC the project@domain.com and it'd automatically get copied to the store.

In any case, I don't want to be reinventing the wheel here. Surely someone else must be doing this, there must be a clever way of going about this?

Help needed with powerpoint upload to youtube

TheBones — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 10:23:45 -0800

Question on changing a powerpoint to a movie and uploading it to Youtube.

I have created a powerpoint presentation and saved it in the .mov format and tried to upload it to youtube- no go. Imported it into quicktime pro and saved it in avi format, uploaded it to youtube, but youtube didn't keep the timing of slides so all slides went through at 1 slide per second instead of the 1st at 5 seconds, the 2nd at 10, the 3rd at 15 seconds, etc.

I have a mac and don't, currently, have access to quicktime pro, just the regular quicktime.

Any thoughts?

Looking for long undershirts

mad bomber what bombs at midnight — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 10:16:14 -0800

Where can I get long white A-shirts (beaters)?

I'm skinny and tall. With Hane's undershirts, mediums fit best, but the tails are not long enough to stay tucked into pants.

Any recommendations?

Where to start with infoviz?

nostrich — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 10:15:10 -0800

I want to make a fancy image along the same lines as Feltron's annual reports, where do I start?

I'm currently in the process of immigrating to the US to be with my SO. Once it's all over and done -- or at some other appropriate milestone along the way -- I thought it would be nice to present her with something along the lines of a framed print visualizing a bunch of stuff related to this process. Very much inspired by Feltron's annual reports, but not quite on the same scale.

What I'm thinking at the moment:
- some kind of timeline that shows where we've travelled since the beginning of this year (when it all began)
- a map that shows the same thing, with lines connecting the places we've flown to
- a pie chart (or something) that breaks up time we've spent together, and time we've spent apart

I'll come up with some other bits (ideas appreciated!) but that basically sums up what I'm trying to do here, I think.

I'd like to see other examples of similar visualizations for inspiration, as well as some tips on how exactly I should be going about this. At the moment, my basic plan is get all the data together and fire up Photoshop or something, but that seems like it would be a fairly tedious way to go about it. I know there is software specifically made for this kind of thing, but what I've come across so far seems to be either a little over my head, or not quite what I'm after (too simple, too complicated). I've also come across some more programming-y options -- a friend suggested processing.js for instance -- but that also currently falls into the over my head camp. If programming turns out to be the best way, I'm willing to learn what I need to know, though. There's no real deadline on this, since we're still a long way from being done.

I'm on Mac OS X, by the way, but can switch to Windows if absolutely necessary.

All input is appreciated!

What industries are relevant to my mathematical interests?

alligatorman — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 10:13:23 -0800

I've just obtained a BS in Mathematics and am planning to go to grad school, but not before I work for a few years. What industries should I be looking at, and what entry level jobs should I aim for? Details inside.

My interests are in discrete math, probability, and related fields. I hope to return to school, but I would like to work first, and I'd like to work in a field even slightly relevant to my interests.

What industries should I be looking at, and what entry level jobs are out there?

I can program, though not well enough for software development. (And I have no interest in software development.)

I also don't want to apply for any position that requires a security clearance, so the obvious NSA is out of the question.

What's out there? Operations Research comes to mind, but I'm not sure what types of companies do this kind of work.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I know I won't be doing any kind of real math work with just a BS.

Did common people used to shave with fire?

penciltopper — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 10:11:25 -0800

Before the sharp steel razor became generally available, what did most people shave with? Fire seems the best choice. Right?

So I'm living any time prior to the last 400 years or so.
I'm an everyday Joe/Jane, not rich enough for luxuries.
But whatever culture I'm living in mandates a shaved face/legs/head/whatever.

I've heard of bronze age razors and cutting hair with knapped volcanic glass, but it seems to me that it would be a lot easier to just take it off with a burning twig.

Not to mention less painful - I imagine a copper or obsidian razor would probably be like shaving with a carpenter's plane or a piece of broken glass.

And I suppose that the nobility got up to all kinds of fancy things; but I'm more interested in the common person than some kingling who had a team of slaves responsible for plucking each individual hair.

What does the hive mind know about popular deplilatory habits of the previous couple of millennia?

bagel w c/c issue

rudy26 — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 10:02:40 -0800

I'm thinking of putting cream cheese on bagels, wrapping them in plastic wrap and selling them. I expect to be sold out in 2-3 hours. Should I be concerned about the cream cheese going bad? Any other food safety issues?

Dr. Frwagon?

frwagon — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 09:54:36 -0800

Late twenties, and want to act on my lifelong dream of going to med school and becoming a doctor... Is this a good idea?

So, I'm 27, and in a weird state of transition for me... I've wanted to be a doctor since high school, but bad study habits and the high cost of med school have scared me off... until now.

I'd need to go back and get the pre-med degree, then med school, and then residency, and I'm entirely ok with committing the next 10-12 years of my life to this ... but will it be worth it? Can a 37-year old new doctor succeed, or am I too late to follow this particular dream?

As said above, I stayed away due to bad study habits, but those have been well and truly corrected.. it's kind of what I've been spending the past ten years doing, on the side.

I'm confident that I can handle the coursework, as well as the stress, and I'm willing to be poor and dedicate my next 12 years to this, but the question still lingers in the back of my mind:

Should I pursue this course of action, or just let that dream go?

It's a free concert from now on

nomisxid — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 09:40:59 -0800

Name that mid-90's techno/trance/ambient track I half remember-filter.

Memory jogged by the U2 thread, I'm trying to remember a song.
The song prominently features a sample of the announcer at Woodstock saying, "It’s a free concert from now on. That doesn’t mean that anything goes. What that means is we're going to put the music up here for free".

The over-anxious job hunter

angiewriter — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 09:34:24 -0800

My son may lose the chance at a good job due to extreme impatience.

My son got his degree in Finance almost a year ago. Normally, this would be a really marketable degree with good job prospects, even as a recent grad. Due to the crap economy, however, he couldn't find a job in his field and after 4 months of diligent job hunting (i.e., making job hunting his "job" and sending out scores of resumes every day), he ended up getting hired by a national car rental chain. Not only is this not in his field--at all--but it's a pretty sucky job for him. I didn't know car rental customers were so hostile to the guys who rent them cars. He is at his wit's end, and desperately wants to find another job. He continues to send out resumes.

I have worked at a company for 4 years. We have been through our ups and downs, but business is booming, and the company's very small Finance group is looking for people. My son had a chat with our CEO earlier this year, (not really due to any efforts on my part--his wife cuts the CEO's hair and he really thinks highly of her. I believe that the CEO was making an effort to talk to my son mostly because he likes his hairstylist and a little because I work here and I'm a pretty good and loyal employee.) The day my son met with the CEO (ostensibly just to learn more about corporate Finance and the business), he introduced my son to the Director of Finance at our company and my son had a mini-interview with the guy on the spot. He was taken off guard, to be sure, because he wasn't expecting that. Shortly thereafter, the Director of Finance offered my son a part-time contract position, but my son had to decline because he couldn't afford to do that. The car rental company job actually pays more than he could have had as a contractor with our company, plus the car rental company provides health insurance, which contractors don't get.

Then, a couple of months ago, he was contacted by the CEO and later the Director asking his salary requirements, and my son was then interviewed over the phone by a member of the Billing department. He felt the interview went well was told he would be contacted by the Billing department manager for either a phone or in-person interview the following week. That was over 4 weeks ago. He has sent a couple of follow-up emails to the person he interviewed with, and they haven't sent him a response. He is beyond frustrated and can't understand why they can't send him at least a cursory response to his emails. I obviously have stayed out of the whole thing, and haven't talked to anyone in Billing as to what's going on. I'm not "that Mom." I do know both of the people fairly well--the one who interviewed him on the phone and the manager he was told would contact him for another interview--but I still don't feel it's appropriate to ask them what's going on with this.

I can certainly understand his frustration, and can empathize. As someone who has job hunted many, many times, I have seen this happen time and again. Two weeks ago, the Manager of Accounting was let go, so the Finance dept. now consists of the Director, 2 Billing people, and one other person. They desperately need somebody, and I believe they were given headcount to hire (why else would my son have been asked for his salary requirements, and given a phone interview?).

I am still going to stay out of this, and not talk to anyone in Billing about this. I do feel, given my own personal experience, that if they weren't interested in hiring him, they would've already sent him a "no thanks" email by this point. I also feel that with the departure of a key member of the team, they are up to their eyeballs in work, which would definitely stall a low-priority task like interviewing and hiring an entry-level employee.

Now my son wants to send yet another email, this time to the Director--a thinly veiled "shit or get off the pot" kind of email. I strongly discouraged this, but he won't budge, so I told him that I needed to review it before he sends it so he doesn't shoot himself in the foot. This morning, he asked me to write the email for him.

My questions--FINALLY:

*Do you agree with me that if they weren't interested by now, they would have told him so?
*Do you agree that this is a low-priority item for a small and extremely overworked group?
*Do you agree that the ABSOLUTE WORST THING he can do would be to send yet another email--to anybody in the group, especially the Director?

He has no other current job leads, much less interviews lined up. I keep telling him to be patient and that things like this can take even months to come to fruition.

What can I do to get him to calm down and not contact them any more? I have been on the hiring side of things, and personally, I always hated the pests who just wouldn't be patient. Am I wrong in believing that any more contact from him would be a VERY BAD THING? He sent his 2nd follow-up email to the Billing person who interviewed him over the phone a week and a half ago, with no response. BTW, I'm not defending these people's lack of responses to him. I consider this to be very poor business etiquette. Even if they're really, really busy, even a quick "we're swamped right now, please be patient with us" response would be better than leaving the poor guy swinging in the wind for over a month, and not just because he's my son.

I would appreciate any feedback you guys have--especially from HR people or people involved in hiring employees for their company.

Sorry this post is the size of War and Peace, but there was a LOT of backstory here.

Thanks a million, hivemind!

Do you have arts programming at your workplace?

hworth — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 09:25:19 -0800

Arts programming in the workplace? Tell me what you know.

I am looking for arts programming that takes place in workplaces and is open to all workers at that location. So, for example, a poetry workshop offered at lunchtime, or a intro to drawing available tuesday afternoons, or an arts appreciation class during shift change at 11pm. Do you work for a company that makes this kind of arts programming available to their employees? Do you work for an arts organization that does this kind of programming in workplaces? Please share your experiences. Links would be great as my google-fu has failed me on this one.

Alternative to tomato for vegetarian stew base.

piratebowling — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 09:23:40 -0800

I have a loose vegetarian stew recipe that I have made up that is wonderful in the sense that it is flexible and quick. It does have one constant, in that it has a tomato base. What can I sub the tomato content with?

The recipe usually involves sauteing up some garlic or onions, throwing in a can of chopped or crushed tomatoes (pre-seasoned, or unseasoned) adding in a couple cups of legumes (chickpeas or lentils usually) then whatever veggies I feel like (squash, broccoli, mushrooms, kale, spinach, whatever I have around or feel like). I then serve it over cous-cous or some other starch. I find it fairly no-fuss and filling. I also like that I can play around with veggie and spice combos. However, the constant of the tomato base is beginning to bore me. What else could I put in there to sauce it up a bit and tie all the veggies and legumes together into a nice stew goodness?

How to help neighbour with barking dog?

Elfasi — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 09:06:43 -0800

New neighbour, new dog. Dog was home alone today(indoors), barking and howling, for the first time. Doesn't bother me one bit but I caught another neighbour outside, on the phone to the RSPCA (which seems an insane overreaction), to report this situation. What to do? How to help both neighbours and the dog be happy?

Some background:

I live in the UK, own my house and have been there a few months. I'm getting my own dog very soon, you may find a question from me some months ago on that whole process.

My house and 3 others all join up back to back in a big block. New neighbour with dog is beside mine so we share a common wall. Neighbour with complaint is behind neighbour with dog and so shares a common wall with them. I just share a corner with complaint neighbour.

The new neighbour is renting and has permission for pets. She has a 2 year old male lab. They've been there just 3 days, no noise or barking till today, dog wasn't left alone till today.

Now there's plenty of advice around for stopping barking but I'm going to give benefit of the doubt for now and assume doggy needs time to adjust to the new place and will improve. But if a neighbour is calling the RSPCA after just 3 hrs, then suddenly I am quite concerned.

I like this new neighbour. I like her dog. I've already offered to walk and dogsit whenever I can. I want to help. But more than that, I want to foster a mutually beneficial relationship. I get my own dog next month. How wonderful to have a dog owner right next door, so we can help each other out! But, being a renter, just moved in, and already with phonecalls to the RSPCA, I can't help but think her position is suddenly very precarious.

I dont want to see her go, I see a very fruitful future together. But more than that, this could affect me in more direct ways. I get my dog next month. I don't intend to have a dog home alone, howling and barking all day, but what if I'm next on the RSPCA hit list? I'd love to try and fix this and reach an understanding first.

So, what to do? I'm going to give her the heads-up on the situation at least, and impress upon her that I'm home nearly every single lunchtime and I'm more than happy to check in on the guy, maybe even give him a walk. I'll suggest she makes nice with the neighbour if she can. I'll suggest she investigates methods to reduce separation anxiety if this continues beyond the settling in period from moving house. I want to help as much as I can.

Should I call the RSPCA and put my side? Should lady with dog? Should I chat to neighbour who complained? What to say? Assure her I'll be doing a lot to help reduce the noise problem? What do MeFites suggest?

Where can I go stargazing in the Boston area?

Plutor — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 09:03:09 -0800

Where can I go stargazing in the Boston area? I want to take my wife to see the Leonids next week. Where can we go in the area that's as dark as possible but is convenient, comfortable, and legal?

Cheap replica alloys in Toronto?

Dasein — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 08:53:39 -0800

(Asking for a friend.) Where could one find cheap replica Mercedes/AMG alloy wheels in Toronto?

This column leads me to believe that AMG replica alloys should be available for around $130. Does anyone know where I could find reasonably-priced replica alloys for a Mercedes (16-inch)?

So now I'm a hottie?

teg4rvn — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 08:51:43 -0800

Why does it seem like men are more desirable when attached (married or taken), particularly when you are with that person? (expl. inside)

If there's one thing that AMF has taught/reinforced to me is how differently women and men differ in their perceptions. I've always chatted with guy friends about this phenomenon and always wondered how a large cross-section of women think, about this:

When I was single and with a girlfriend, other women seemed drawn to me. I could tell they were interested in me, and not in just a hey, he's a nice guy sort of way. (Of course, I may have been reading into this, but for arguments sake, let's say that people can sometimes accurately surmise that the opposite sex is into them). But, even when taken, when I was out alone or with other guys, girls were, well, not so smitten. Same thing as a married man. (Huge caveat, I'm not out flirting with women as a married man...heck, come to think of it, I didn't do that either when attached and unmarried)

Other men have reported the same to me, mostly recollecting from their single days, when they too had the ultimate paradox:

"Why is it that I attract more women when I have one, but when I'm completely single, it's like I'm invisible?"

Ladies (and, I guess, other men):

1) Does one exude a different vibe when attached?
2) Is it simply a case of, "Well she's with him...that's worth something"
3) Is there something of a more core evolutionary competitive drive being elicited?
4) other?

FWIW, as a man, there is nothing about seeing a woman with a man that makes her more or less attractive. Ditto, for the solo woman.

TECHNOVIKING doesn't dance to the music, the music dances to TECHNOVIKING

jimfl — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 08:49:55 -0800

What is the music that Technoviking is dancing to?

I've narrowed it down to fancier than jeans less formal than a ballgown.

Kellydamnit — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 08:36:44 -0800

What should I wear to a Salvation Army wedding? I'm sure most people will be in their uniforms, but needless to say that's not an option for me. The bride and groom are both elderly, and the reception will be held in the social hall at the church, so I don't think it will be super formal.

Most of my nicer stuff is black, but given their ages (he's 80ish, she's in her 70s) I don't know if that would be too "modern" for the circumstances. Would a black skirt and pastel blouse be OK? Party dress? I'm totally lost. Unfortunately I'm going as the guest of my boyfriend, who is utterly clueless about appropriate fashion for this sort of thing, so asking him is out.

How do we restore a laptop with no restore disc?

543DoublePlay — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 08:36:07 -0800

My son who is away at college in his freshman year suffered a hard drive crash on a 6 month old Sony Vaio laptop. He has returned it to Best Buy under the service contract and they are replacing the hard drive, but... he never created a system restore disc. What next?

Luckily he has his data backed up, but Best Buy have told him he will have to reinstall everything from the restore disc which of course he doesn't have. He can buy a copy of Windows 7 from the school bookstore at the student price and says he will just load it up with Windows 7, but my concern is with the drivers for the DVD drive, Wi-fi, etc. Would Sony supply us with a basic restore disc if we give them the laptop serial number or is there a better way to get it back to its out-of-the-box configuration?

Help a smart but inexperienced young man manage my money (UK)!

Anonymous — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 08:22:02 -0800

You Are Not My Financial Planner. But I'm a (still barely) young man living in the U.K. Took a long time to get a career together, with 2 good degrees, but finally achieved slightly below average salary with slow growth prospects. What approach to savings / investments should I take?

Further to the above, I earn just below the national average (aout £1,300 monthly after tax etc) but hope to increase this in the next few years to just above the average (say £30k p.a. before tax). My job is in higher education libraries, which doesn't have huge prospects for salary increases. I guess maybe £40 or £50k in ten years is doable? I live frugally, don't even have a car, and rent at the lowest possible rate (about £400/month in !).

I've just got the point where I'm a "young professional" hanging out with others of my age (28) and realising they have way more financial sense (and success) than I ever have. I have about £1000 in a cash ISA. I add £50/month to it. That's it. Some of my peers have saved, invested and are now looking into buying houses. Why the disparity? Is it purely down to salary and willingness to risk on the markets?

Given that my aims in life are mainly just to get a modest house, raise a family, continue working like a dog until (or beyond) retirement, run a modest, boring car if I really need it for kids, work etc, take cheap inland holidays and live frugally til I die, what savings and investments should aim to get?

I'm already aiming to "save 3 months salary" as recommended by popular financial advice books. My bank supplied me with an "advice session" where the talk escalated quickly from my idea of investing £500-£1000 upfront then £50 per month in an investment ISA (in a medium risk band) to more like £200-£300 split 50-50 between medium and second-from-top risk bands... at this point I got cold feet and split.

I have a Masters in Physics so I can handle algebra but all the arithmetic makes my head spin (the sales pitch doesn't help!). I'm reading basic guides but I'm struggling to understand what I should do. My family never discussed these issues and I wonder if I'll ever afford to raise one of my own to teach them to... can anyone "hope me"?

PS. I know about moneysavingexpert.com etc and will continue to look into that. Pointers to specific relevant pages would be really welcome though! :)

PPS I have no debts except the usual UK student loan at about 20k, which I just ignore as a graduate tax. I only have credit cards in case I need to sign up to online stuff or prove I have a good record

finding more rooted community in DC

Anonymous — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 08:21:08 -0800

I've been in DC for a few years. In many ways, this can be a really transient city. Since I'm here for the long-haul for work, I'm interested in meeting people who don't see DC as a pit stop, and aren't going to move again in a few years.

I'm in my late 20s and live inside the Beltway (not in a far out suburb or anything). I don't have trouble meeting people casually or through groups, but so many people I meet are only here (or plan to be here) for a short time before they uproot. While I've made great friends who I keep in touch with post-departure, I'd like to make more grounded, long-term connections.

Suggestions from DC mefites? What things have you done here that have led to more consistent community? (church brings itself to mind, among other things).

This question is anonymous simply cause I am a little embarassed to ask it!

Throw 'em yolk recipes at me!

kitchencrush — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 08:17:49 -0800

How can I use leftover egg yolks? I want to make a chocolate mousse from a recipe that calls for a large number of egg whites but I feel guilty about just throwing the egg yolks away. So... please give me your best ideas and recipes for what to do with the yummy yummy yolks, folks.

Help me bring my living room into the future!

COBRA! — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 08:14:04 -0800

My wife and I are finally getting around to getting an HDTV soon. When we do that, we want to adjust the setup in our living room to reflect the way we consume entertainment these days.

Part of this means the VCR gets chucked, of course. But more
importantly, we're trying to figure out the most cost-effective way to
get content from our 2 main online sources, iTunes and NetFlix, onto
the screen. And be able to run DVDs, and have a
basic-cable-for-the-broadcast-channels hookup.

The options, as I see them (and part of the reason I'm asking this
question is that I assume I'm missing something):

- Roku + basic cable. Great, except we can't buy shows from iTunes.

- AppleTV + basic cable. Opposite problem. Can't stream from Netflix.

- Cheap, web-connected computer + basic cable. Seems like a winner,
but involves more of an outlay (this is more or less what we do now,
except that it's my wife's laptop that gets laboriously hooked up
every time we want to watch something). Plus then there's a desktop
box sitting in our living room. And, assuming the setup wound up like
our current laptop hookup, we don't have remote control of the sound.

Is there an angle I'm missing? A way to optimize one of these options? Help!

How many documents does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of my identity?

eatcake — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 08:00:11 -0800

I'm in the process of signing up for PenFed account and it seems like they are asking for a lot of documentation to establish my identity. Is this usual for them? Or am I just being paranoid?

I applied online and when I called to set up my PIN number we went through the identification process whereby the CSR asked me about 10-12 questions about stuff on my credit history that only I would know. So great...that part is done. "Call back in 2-3 hours to get your PIN."

I called again today and the woman tells me they need even more documentation to confirm my identity. This time a copy of my driver's license, utility bill with name and address on it and a copy of my social security card, all notarized. Do they really need a copy of my social security card? Am I asking for trouble by making that available to people? Does anyone have a similar experience with PenFed and their processes?

Thanks in advance.

Can I still restore my laptop after Windows 7 Upgrade?

octothorpe — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 07:59:59 -0800

I'm planning on upgrading my HP laptop to Windows 7 and want to know if the internal Vista restore image will still be available after I do that.

I have a HP DV6915 Pavilion Laptop that came with Vista pre-installed and came with a Vista restore image on a separate partition on the harddrive. I've used that image to restore the machine to the factory settings twice now without any problem. Now, I just bought the Windows 7 upgrade disk but haven't had the courage to apply it yet. What I want to know is if that upgrade will kill off that restore image or if I will still be able to use it revert back to Vista if the 7 upgrade goes flooey.

Why does Flash suck so bad on the Mac?

mpls2 — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 07:58:18 -0800

Why does Flash suck so bad on the Mac?

Are there any Mefites with an inside scoop (or informed opinions) about why Flash (e.g., YouTube videos) chews up so much CPU time on Macs?

It's literally (much) more efficient for me to watch a YouTube video in Windows 7 under Parallels than in Safari.

I know there are other clever ways to get around the problem, but I'm really curious why this problem persists. Perhaps this explains why Steve won't let in on the iPhone??

Thanks!

Are there any examples of East German wifes informing on their husbands for Stasi?

Kattullus — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 07:50:11 -0800

In a critique of Das Leben der Anderen (The Lives of Others) Slavoj Žižek asserts that "in all known cases of a married couple where a spouse betrayed a partner, it was always a man who became an informant." Famously, Ulrich Mühe, star of Das Leben der Anderen, asserted that his ex-wife spied on him for Stasi, though both the ex-wife and her supposed Stasi superior denied this. Other than that case, are there any examples of East German wifes informing on their husbands for Stasi?

Can we all calm down now?

A Terrible Llama — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 07:45:37 -0800

Where can I find programs that teach employees how to de-escalate a rising conflict?

There's a ton of this stuff on the web but I haven't found anything that's exactly what I want.

I'm trying to package something for employees that are geographically spread out, so seminars where everyone travels aren't practical, and having someone come physically to each place is probably out of the question financially.

What I'd like, ideally, is a one to two hour webinar type thing that would talk to people about how to deal with charged situations without contributing to them, how to listen, etc.

No set budget, I'd like to keep it under 10K, less is better.

I was hoping to find something affiliated with a school, hospital, or mental health center something with a little research behind it.

Need inappropriate office party behaviors

arniec — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 07:29:06 -0800

For Christmas Card art--what are some inappropriate workplace party behaviors that can be portrayed in a single drawing?

I'm working on having an artist do our company annual Christmas card, and this year we're doing a Far Side-ish cartoon of an inappropriate office party. For example, there will be someone Xeroxing their behind, and some people making out in the office supplies closet.

What other types of activities can be/should be included here? The funnier the better. But it can't be too involved, a single frame of someone "in the act" needs to convey the whole bit. But our artist is very very good, so if you have ideas, please post them and he might be able to make them work.

Thank you for ideas!

(and would a lampshade on a head be a workplace thing, or is that specifically a house party type behavior?)

Visiting Tokyo over the new year.

aladfar — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 07:27:09 -0800

I'll be visiting Tokyo for the first time over the new year. I arrive on 12/30 and plan to return to the states on 1/06. Looking for suggestions on where to stay and what to do (I understand most shops and attractions will be closed on and around the new year).

How do I decorate my mirror wall?

unsupervised — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 07:18:27 -0800

How would you decorate a living room with a mirror wall?

We're in the process of replacing all the starter/hand-me-down furniture in our condo and we're at a loss as to how to decorate the mirror wall in our living room.

About the wall: It's roughly 20' long and comprised of four 7 1/2' tall and 5' wide mirror panels. It's the longest uninterrupted wall in the room spanning both the dining room for 7 1/2' and the living room for 12 1/2'. Other than an 1/8" gap between panels and a 3" runner on the floor, it's floor to ceiling uninterrupted mirror. They're in perfect condition.

We've grudgingly embraced them: we have friends in the complex with the exact same condo layout as ours and our unit looks immense when compared to theirs. The mirror wall is also directly across from the windows and we get the added benefit of light and a view on that side of the room. We've never had any idea how to decorate it, though.

What decorating/furnishing ideas could make the most of my mirror wall?

Picasa needs glasses

photodegas — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 07:12:06 -0800

is there a way to make picasa web albums private so that people can see the picture you link for them but can't go and see the full album? right now, the options are "unlisted" which means people can see the picture you send them the link for but they can still hit "view all" and see the whole album or "sign in to view" which means they can't see anything at all is there an in-between?

Creative Ideas to get my money's worth post facto-

priested — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 07:08:07 -0800

I might have to pay money for a service I basically never used. Any creative ideas on how to get my money's worth post situation?

I requested new home phone and Internet service from Verizon approximately 7/30/09, after which I was told a phone number was issued to two homes simultaneously.

My phone service did not get connected until 8/4/09 and my Internet service was never connected. By 8/7/09, I requested the entire plan be discontinued as a result of Verizon’s unprofessional handling of the situation (spent about 7 hours on hold or speaking with supervisors that couldn't do anything but give me the run-around, and not even politely at that).

Upon original receipt of requested payment, I contacted Verizon’s credit department and was told I would be issued a credit for the amount owed, essentially nullifying the amount owed.

I requested this in writing but did not receive this. Now I got a letter from a collections agency (which I've in-turn disputed after getting no where on the second round of calls).

I am being asked to pay for a service I did not use for anything outside of contacting Verizon to fix the problems they created (can they charge me a whole month's worth for 3 to 4 days use?).

Additionally, they are saying I had the service longer than I did (4 days of it the phone didn't work, although their system says it did because the number was duplicated and worked elsewhere).

Here's the real question... Assuming I do have to pay the amount (it's under 100 bucks, but it is the principal!), any suggestions on how I can get my money's worth out of them? I've considered printing up thousands of flyers and posting them around town, etc...

The more creative, the better.

I'm sorry, did my feet wake you up?

heliotrope — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 06:50:47 -0800

Is it possible that my feet are making noise while I sleep? If so, should I be worried?

When I woke up this morning my boyfriend told me that he had gotten out of bed last night because of a loud, repetitive clicking noise and was worried that he had left something on at his workbench across the room. When he returned to bed, he claims that he realized it was my feet (which were not moving) making noises and that he also listened to my breathing to make sure the noise wasn't snoring or some other logical explanation. He said I was sleeping on my stomach and that when I eventually rolled over the noise stopped. Is this possible? Can feet make noise? They have never made any noise while I am awake. Is there another logical explanation? And if this is true, I don't think I am particularly concerned (except out of sheer curiosity), but should I be worried for any reason? Thanks for any insights.

What are some notable digital remasters of music over the last few years?

jeremias — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 06:50:19 -0800

With the recent attention given to the high quality of the recent audio re-masters of the Beatles catalog, I'm wondering if there have been other notable re-masters in the last few years.

I realize this is potentially a broad topic, but virtually all the reviews of the Beatles re-masters focused on how they represented a significant update in the listening experience. So I'm interested in any equivalent digital re-issues that are acknowledged as a significant leap in audio quality for the listener.

Finally! $100 in Adsense!

47triple2 — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 06:44:32 -0800

I broke the $100 mark on Adsense, now what?

I've been blogging with Adsense for more than a year and finally broke $100 mark. Do I have to do anything now or are they just going to send me a check at the end of the month?

I've been planning to stop blogging once I broke that magical number, will this cause problems with not getting paid? (My blog will still be there for a couple months, but there will be no new content.)

Does this affect my taxes? (Is it a very small, one time, "gift.")

Finally, what am I actually going to get out of that $100?

Thanks!

I’m in the UK and have Primary Sclerosing Cholangitus, what can I expect?

Nufkin — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 05:51:13 -0800

I’m in the UK and have Primary Sclerosing Cholangitus, what can I expect?

On Friday I was diagnosed as having Primary Sclerosing Cholangitus. I have used my Google-fu and found information relating to symptoms (itching, upper-right quadrant pain and so on) but no where I can find describe what that exactly is. Is the itching just normal? What type of pain?

Also, I was trying to get some personal stories from people to tell me that my life isn’t over now or in 10 or so years when I need a transplant.

No, Mr Bond, I expect you to dine.

jrishel — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 05:38:37 -0800

What food goes with a "Detectives, Spys, Villians and Henchmen" themed party?

Why does my Canon Rebel XTi download so slowly to my Mac?

Brodiggitty — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 05:05:28 -0800

Why does my Canon Rebel XTi download so slowly to my Mac?

Canon Rebel XTi downloads perfectly fine to my PC at home (1 sec or less per pic), but when using it at work on a mac, it takes about 10 seconds to download a single large sized JPG. This becomes a big problem when I return from a sporting event with 500 pics and it takes over an hour to get my shots downloaded.

I've also used a Rebel XT (the earlier model) on the same computer and I do not have this problem. With that camera, it's 1 second or less per pic. It's not the cord because I've tried several.

My work computer is an iMac (? no tower, just a silver screen, sorry, I don't have a mac fetish) with Mac os X 10.4.10 with a 2GHz intel core duo.

Author, Date, ISBN?

strixus — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 04:40:15 -0800

A question for those who know far more than I do about citation formats: why do none of them include ISBN numbers?

So, in working on a large project, and fighting with EndNote the entire time, I found the fastest way to keep track of books, especially when using multiple editions, was to reference them by ISBN-10 (13 works well too, but 10 seemed easier) numbers. EndNote's database will record these, happily, for all works that take them.

But then I got to thinking (rather than writing, like I should have been) - why do no modern citation formats use ISBN for referencing texts that have them? I understand they wouldn't be useful for items without ISBN numbers, but those require different citation formats anyway. Why not exclude publisher, city, and year, in favor of an ISBN? Or along side one?

So, I suppose what I am asking is the following: why ISBN's are not used as a reference point for citation in modern citation formats?

We need a Hallmark card... with video!

czechmate — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 04:26:06 -0800

Is there a way to record just a few minutes of video (like Hallmark does with cards) so our Grandfather can keep it by his bedside and watch it to his heart's content?

My Grandfather-in-law is dying of cancer at the moment and we were told yesterday that he's unable to walk and does not have much longer to live. There's simply no way we can travel there to be with him. It's a mixture of my pregnancy and money. Last minute tickets to Czech (for my husband) are just out of our league.

We want to send him a video.. something small, telling him we love him. He can't talk on Skype anymore because he's unable to get out of bed. Is there a device that allows a few moments of recording and watching, like Hallmark does with recordable cards?

Is there something we could construct (cheaply) that will do this for us? Plus, something that can play whenever he touches a button so if he wants to play it over and over, he can?

So much for negative reinforcement...

frankly mister — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 03:13:29 -0800

Why do creepy/obnoxious guys (talked about at great length in a couple fantastic recent threads) keep hitting on girls if they never have any success?

This is inspired by this recent, amazing thread, and its MetaTalk spinoff.

(First: though I've spent a few hours reading both those threads, I haven't nearly read everything, so forgive me if this is answered in there at some point.)

I don't understand: what drives the creepy/obnoxious guys to continually hit on girls in the creepy/obnoxious manner? If they and their technique are so universally loathed by girls, as seems to be to the case, then it should follow that these guys NEVER have success. Sure, sometimes a girl is a little friendly in return, just to be nice. But presumably it never goes anywhere, so these guys never have any success with the routine. Why, then, do they keep doing it?

straight from the source.

the NATURAL — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 02:13:57 -0800

Just curious: What DVD commentaries absolutely enhance the movie they're attached to?

Thanks for your concern, but I've already seen these two previouslys.

As an aspiring screenwriter (maybe, one day, filmmaker? -- but then, who isn't?), I'm particularly interested in the craft of storytelling and the art of filming (how shots are composed, chosen, etc.). So, while I can't lie that it's funny that X and Y tell hilarious jokes in Z's commentary, I'm more curious from a technical standpoint.

Since this was last done in 2004, maybe skewing this towards DVDs released since then would make this a more timely question, as well.

Thanks, MeFi <4

Looking for information on PAYG cell phone (NY state), inflatable mattress, All-In-One scanner, fax, photocopier and printer

zaxour — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 23:22:56 -0800

Moved to NY (NOT NYC) from Sweden, need information on PAYG cell phone, inflatable mattress, All-in-One scanner, fax, photocopier and printer.

I moved to NY state from Sweden and my job will involve moving from one place to the other every 3 months or so. Hence, would like to maintain as little belongings as possible.

Since I haven't got my SSN yet, I have to go with PAYG phone. I am checking all cellphone carriers I am aware of but feel like very little information is offered on the web. Going to the stores isn't helping either. I am curious which carrier has best coverage in NY state? Also, do I have to use carrier's phone to be able to use their SIM?
I considered delaying buying PAYG phone and use cellswapper later but I am not too sure how good is this idea.

I am looking for king/queen size inflatable mattress, which brand is good to go with? A previous thread on me-fi directs me to Aerobed. Any other recommendation? (or if you didn't like Aerobed, why?)

I am also interested in All-In-One Scanner, Photocopier, Fax and Printer. I checked cnet.com reviews but there is a conflict between editor's ratings and user's ratings so not too sure how much I should rely on them. I wonder if its a good idea to have such All-In-One equipment and if yes, any recommendation?

Where can I find a good secondhand record store in Hong Kong?

The Card Cheat — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 23:17:22 -0800

Can anyone suggest any good secondhand record (i.e. vinyl) stores in Hong Kong?

I'm in HK until this Saturday and I'd like to check out a record store or two, but I'm having trouble finding anything aside from HMV and other chains. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Can we store our van for a year?

saturn~jupiter — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 22:40:47 -0800

We want to store our van for a year in California while we go back to Australia. Can this be done? Specifics inside.

My man and I bought a camper van in America, which we have lived in and traveled in for many months. We are going back to Australia (where we are from) in December, to live, but we want to come back in a year or so's time and do some more traveling for some more months.

We have been thinking of storing our van in a storage facility somewhere in southern California - because we fly out of L.A.

We've been told there are various problems with this plan - tyres going flat, wheels getting ruined, battery going flat, etc.

-Are there storage facilities for housing vans where they will take care of these things?
-Do you know of any in southern California?
-Any idea of how much money we are looking at paying?
-We don't really mind if it's outdoors, unless it's a security issue.

The van is the size of a small (class b) motorhome. its between 7-8 feet high, and maybe 20 feet long.

Don't know if it's a crazy idea - it seems more simple just to sell it, but we are rather attached to it...

Any advice appreciated.

Who's the big flying head w/ Dr Doom?

Rash — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 22:12:09 -0800

MarvelFilter: please identify the angry head with the tiny arms and legs flying behind Dr Doom in this Fall of the Hulks poster.

It's just the left side, their opponents. Who are they? In the back, is that Karl Rove? The guys around him are vaguely familiar from early Fantastic Four, but who's that green-skinned guy?

Need help fixing a roll up shade

kbar1 — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 21:27:22 -0800

Please help me to repair a roll up matchstick shade or refer me to a web site with directions in plain English.

I bought an 8ft. matchstick shade and spent hours just installing the 3 hooks and hanging it, then discovered the drawstring on the right side had pulled loose from the pulley mechanism.

Obviously, I'm not mechanically inclined, but I'd rather try to fix it than return it to the store and start over. The problem string attaches at the top-back of the blind and should loop down under the bottom, and up to the pulley. The string is attached as it should be at the back, but just hangs straight down. I've tried feeding it through the pulley, but there doesn't seem to be room - and even if it did fit, it seems like it must need to attach to something - but what?

I know this is a longshot, but I'm hoping it will make sense to someone with experience fixing roll up blinds. Thanks!

Wireless possible, or no?

BlahLaLa — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 20:37:12 -0800

Did the Apple salesperson do me wrong? I bought an AirPort Express to go wireless with my Mac Mini but now I think I got screwed.

Okay, it's embarrassing to admit this on Metafilter, where almost everyone seems to be very computer savvy, but I DON'T KNOW ABOUT COMPUTERS. I use 'em, but I don't know how they work.

I have an older Mac Mini. I've had it for two years, but it was used by someone else previously and I don't know precisely how old it is. I want to set up a wireless network in my home, and I called the Apple Store to see if that would be possible with my model. The phone rep talked me through looking at my computer. I have a new-enough OS. I do not have an AirPort card. I do have firewire. She said I can connect through firewire.

But the AirPort Express arrived, and when I looked at the documentation, it says I must have the AirPort card installed.

So...is that true about this alleged firewire? Can I connect wirelessly, or am I out of luck? If not, can I keep my Mac Mini wired to the modem, and hook up the AirPort Express so my husband can use his laptop elsewhere in the house?

If I need to return this thing: Have you had experience with the Apple Store? Are they going to easily accept the explanation that I only bought this because the salesperson said it would work with my computer?

Please speak to me as if I am your mentally challenged great aunt. I really need it step by step, spelled out.

Help me make my computer backup checklist

Elminster24 — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 20:21:00 -0800

BackupFilter: My new replacement laptop arrives tomorrow--help me make sure I don't forget anything critical in my backup process when I transfer everything to the new computer because I have to ship the old one back to Dell (hard drive as well).

So here's the situation...I have a Dell XPS m1730 that is being replaced by Dell with an Alienware m17x since my graphics cards fried. The m1730 runs Vista 32-bit and the new one (which arrives tomorrow!!!) will come with Vista 64-bit and a Windows 7 upgrade disc. After doing a little research I've decided I'd like to try doing a clean install of Windows 7 on the new machine (versus just the upgrade option) and I have a laplink cable which will hopefully help facilitate data transfer from the old machine to the new one, although if I need to I can temporarily move things to my 1Tb external Lacie drive.

Now on to the question...

I'd consider myself pretty good with computers but I'm a bit paranoid when it comes to making sure I have a backup of everything I need to and that I've transferred things over the right way. Below are a list of key things that I plan on backing up and the specifics that I think I've got covered in terms of how to transfer the data but I'd love some additional opinions to make sure I am not missing anything important that I wish I'll have later. The reason for this is that once I am completely finished, I need to do a complete HDD wipe and send the old machine (including the HDD) back to Dell to complete the exchange and thus will no longer have access to the machine or data. I considered making a disc image of the drive but I'm not sure how useful that would be for recovery purposes if I won't have a similarly configured machine available to load the image onto.

Also, just a general note...the vast majority of the software I have on there, unless specifically noted otherwise, was...*ahem* "acquired" via Bittorrent. So I will most likely have to redownload everything as I did not save the installers.

1. Web Development
Right now I build my websites in Dreamweaver and have several site profiles setup that I need to transfer...not quite sure how to do that. I also have a local server setup via XAMPP.

A. How do I backup my Dreamweaver sites properly so that all the site logins and file paths aren't completely messed up?

B. How do I properly transfer my XAMPP server which houses several several databases from Wordpress installs and multiple sites?

2. Design
I have Photoshop CS3 installed currently. Since I need to redownload it I'll most likely just grab CS4. However I have several brush packs, fonts, patterns, filters, etc. on the current machine. What is the best way to back this up?

3. Internet
I use Firefox 3.0.12 and have a TON of addons and themes. I successfully used FEBE to transfer my bookmarks, profile, addons, themes etc. between machines in the past but I'm worried that it won't work if I try to load the backup into a newer version of FF.

A. Anybody know if FEBE can load a backup from an older version of FF into a new one?

4. Media
I don't have any music I've purchased off of the ITMS or anything but I have a ton of MP3s and iTunes is music software of choice. My photos are stored in my documents and I use Picasa to manage them.

A. Do I need to do anything with my iPod and iTunes on my old machine like deauthorize or anything?

B. Is backing up photos as simple as copying them all and then putting them on the new machine and just importing them into Picasa again?

Aside from those four things, I think the rest of the files on there are fairly straightforward things to copy/transfer--mainly MS Office files and some user data/preferences from games like Savage 2 and Battlefield. Is there anything else I'm forgetting about here that is crucial? I feel like I'm forgetting some important things that I'm going to really be pissed about once I wipe the drive... And speaking of wiping the drive, I don't want anybody getting a refurbished machine with my old HDD in it and accessing my data. What is a FREE guaranteed way to completely wipe the drive?

I understand this is a pretty meaty AskMeFi question so if you're able to provide answers to all the parts you're a rockstar, and even if you can only provide some, I'll take any advice I can get on this as I only get one shot at this and need to do it right. Happy to answer any additional questions anybody has.

Can you help me find this essay?

codacorolla — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 20:18:01 -0800

I'm looking for a World War 2 essay that may be titled "Missing the War", which is about the difference in perception between how the Second World War was portrayed in the media and how it was for the soldiers involved.

I remember reading it in a best-of essay collection that might've been published in 2006 or 2007. Google searching for that title doesn't bring up anything similar. It's a really great essay, and probably some of the best war writing I've ever read.

Best Irish Booze?

mtstover — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 20:02:30 -0800

Heading to a themed dinner event. We each represent a country and bring food / drink from the country. I am Ireland. I'm going to bring booze. What whiskey or other hard alcohol should I bring?

How do I get out of this emotional hole and get things done?

Anonymous — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 19:33:48 -0800

Seeking short-term coping mechanisms for being productive in school during a devastating breakup, and for comedy TV I can watch to help me through it. Long story inside.

My partner of, let's say 4-8 years and I broke up about 5 weeks ago. We got together when we were both freshmen at our university and had an instant strong bond. It was a mutual breakup due to some relationship dysfunction that was related to a sexual health problem I have and anxiety/depression we each have. We have lived together for several years and while we're in the process of finding some way to move out, we are still roommates for now.
The first few days we were broken up, we both had a terrible time and cried a lot. We have remained friends with little drama, other than both having some crying spells, up until this weekend.
Due to some events this weekend, it really started to sink in that I may really be losing him for good and I began to panic. Things came to a head and in the middle of the night I told him how I felt and it was very emotional for both of us. We ended up having sex. I didn't realize, but at the time, he was drunk (I was exhausted from crying and not sleeping). While we were having sex (which was his move), we were talking about things we wanted to do sexually in the future. The next morning, though, we kissed again (again his move) and said sexual things toward me. Not an hour later, we talked about what we wanted to do relationship-wise. Basically he said he doesn't think it's a good idea for us to get back together right now.
I'm totally crushed. I told him he betrayed me, fucked with my head, and that I just wanted to know why he would so something like that to me after normally treating me well. He says he was stupid to do those things last night and this morning, and he did them because he was confused about how he felt and thought maybe we could get back together. I feel so betrayed, used, and just hopeless. We're part of each others families. Before the breakup, we often talked of concrete life plans like marriage and kids. When we technically "broke up," it didn't feel so real or permanent and we've continued to live life as normal, hanging out just with no romantic contact.
Making matters worse, I'm a first-year law student in the throes of finals studying time. This weekend I have done nothing for school. I don't even think I can get through classes without bursting into tears randomly. Missing much class is not really an option, but I know I can't go tomorrow. I can't get out of bed right now. I don't know how I can get through the semester. There are counseling services that I plan to utilize, but until I can get in, I am in a wandering panic.
I have no friends to talk to about this. All of my friends are either friends with him, too, or friends who live out of state and I haven't been in close contact with recently enough to call up with my problems. I'm don't really talk to my parents or siblings about personal stuff like this.
I don't like dating or the whole game of trying to meet people. He and I became friends and were very close before any romance occurred. I don't feel like that kind of connection will be easy to find again any time soon.
I've read tons of breakup related AskMes, and some of the things in there have been helpful, especially the thing about "existential panic"

1. Are there any general suggestions for what I can do to get through the day(s) until I can get some counseling?
2. One thing that does help calm me is watching DVDs of The Office. I've seen them all so many times in the past month that it's almost not working anymore. Any other shows like this, such as ones about people with run of the mill lives with comedy and some realistic life sadness would probably help, too.
3. What can I do to try to be productive and not keep breaking down while studying? I can't leave the house, which usually helps, because I will probably start crying randomly, and at home, all I can do is zone out playing solitaire and watching The Office to keep from bawling constantly.

Sorry for such a long story, but I really felt I needed to give all the details for this to make sense, and my mind isn't so clear for editing.
If you have any advice you don't want to put here, you can email heartbrokenmefite@gmail.com

What is this mystery gunk that bleached my pants?

lalalana — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 19:29:00 -0800

What is this mystery gunk that bleached my pants?

Last week, I noticed some weird stuff on the back of my black polyblend H&M pants... It looked like lipgloss, a little bit pink and similar in texture except maybe a little less thick. When I wiped it off, I found that the spots where it had been were bleached out to a purpley-pink shade. Sad. Anyway, what could this stuff have been? I didn't go or do anything out of the ordinary-- a college campus, a coffee shop, my car... I really can't think of anything I would have come in contact with (no cleaning products, etc, what I know of?) that could have caused it... Any thoughts?

Do I need to get a multiple entry visa for Spain/Andorra travel as a US citizen?

anarchivist — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 19:21:55 -0800

I'm going to Spain (Barcelona) for 10 days, and I'm a US citizen, which in my understanding grants me a de facto 90-day single entry Schengen visa. I've been thinking about going to Andorra, a non-Schengen country, which suggests to me that I would therefore require a multiple entry Visa. Preliminary research confirms this. Stupid question: do I need to do this before I leave? Can anyone else who has gone to Andorra from Spain attest to the strictness or laxity of the immigration controls?

Dustbuster recommendations?

leesh — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 18:48:36 -0800

I'd like to get a dustbuster or similar cordless small vacuum device. Can you awesome people recommend some brands/models?

I saw this thread but it's a couple years old and I figured dustbuster technology has advanced some since then, plus I really do want a cordless one. Currently Amazon has a good deal on one of those Kone things, but the recent reviews seem mixed. Have any of you used one, and would you recommend it? Or is there some other awesome dustbuster I should know about?

Looking for cheap DVD shops in Paris (Left Bank)

lahersedor — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 18:37:49 -0800

While I'm in Paris (for a short stop) I plan to buy DVDs (movies) by french new wave directors like truffaut. I have heard that there are cheap DVD shops in Paris. Do you know of any good ones in the Left Bank ? I will be staying in Montparnasse.

thunder road cover mp3?

headnsouth — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 18:35:30 -0800

Please help me find an mp3 (mp4?) of Badly Drawn Boy's cover of Thunder Road.

There is a youtube video but I'd like to get a copy of it as an mp3 if possible. Amazon and itunes don't have it, I'd like to actually purchase it rather than just find it wherever it if it's available, as mp3 or cd (preferable but it's not on any of BDB's albums as far as I know) or whatever.

Stabbing myself in the eye with a letter opener doesn't seem to be an appropriate reaction to this problem.

sugarfish — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 18:28:54 -0800

I just spent another hour going through giant stacks of mail and shredding crap and I swear I can't take it anymore.

All of our bills are paid online so half the time stuff never even gets opened. This leads to problems like letters from our HOA getting missed when like a month later I break down and go through stuff. And then what do we do after the bills are paid? What should we keep (paystubs, etc)? What's fine to get rid of? How long should we keep receipts for things like home or car repairs? Why do these mysterious statements keep coming from the retirement account?

We have no system whatsoever. I feel like I missed that day in learning-to-be-an-adult class. (Well, I missed a lot of days, but this is the most pressing one.) What does your filing cabinet look like? I need a filing cabinet, right?

I know some of the basic things we can do -- opt out of paper mail, etc, but is that okay for everything? Isn't it better that I have a hard copy of my credit card statement to compare just in case it changes down the line, or am I being a conspiracy theorist?

What about regular, day-to-day receipts? Do you just take time once a week to shred them, or what?

We are intelligent people but unfortunately neither of us is detail-oriented. We work long schedules and when we get home at midnight the last thing we want to do is go through another pile of mail that turns out to be usurious credit card "checks." (Seriously, I just shredded like a dozen envelopes' worth.)

Please hope me.

Was I ripped off by the graduate school admissions committee at a top 10 university?

Anonymous — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 18:25:51 -0800

Was I ripped off by the graduate school admissions committee at a top 10 university?

I applied to a CS master's program at a top 10 US university a few months ago. I had still not received any sort of answer from the school (mail, email, or otherwise) the weekend before the term (I had applied for) began. I called the program that Friday, but nobody answered. I emailed three different addresses; only one person answered, the director of the program. He emailed me on Sunday morning, the day before the term started. His email said that my application was rejected because I haven't had any math since high school, and because the admissions committee could not determine my mathematics background. In reality, I have taken five math courses in college, including an entire Calculus sequence, and I got A's in all of these.

These math courses were on my undergraduate transcripts; the university's "application status" website indicated that these transcripts had been received, so the program should've been aware that I had taken these courses. I emailed the director back, but he dodged my questions and became argumentative. He's now ignoring my email messages to him.

I feel that my application wasn't taken seriously, that the admissions committee made mistakes in evaluating my application (and is refusing to admit that they did), and that it was wrong of the school to inform me of my admission status the day before the term I applied for was to begin (if I wouldn't have emailed them, I probably would've have never known if I had been admitted or rejected--they have never sent me an official rejection letter). In short, I feel ripped off.

I paid nearly $100 to apply to this program, and I am far from rich. Am I entitled to refund? What would you do if you were me? I emailed the president of the university, explaining my situation, but my emails have been ignored.

Never had a nightmare

Anonymous — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 18:25:29 -0800

I've never had a nightmare.

Why? Is this normal? I can't fully account for when I was a small child, but in recent memory I cannot remember ever having had a nightmare, or even a truly disturbing dream. I've had exceptionally vivid dreams as well as the usual anxiety dreams of being naked or falling on rare occassions, but never anything close to nightmarish. Amongst my friends and family I can't find anyone else who has never had a nightmare. It feels weird.

Googling "never had a nightmare" shows I am not alone, I just wonder if there might be a cause, or an article or some sort of insight into this. I've had a normal-to-difficult life including problems with depression and anxiety and a fair share of waking problems, I can't think why I might be immune to having nightmares. Is there a cause, or am I just lucky? Any tips for inducing a nightmare? I guess I am coming from a view of nightmares being an accepted part of everyone's life, perhaps they aren't?

FWIW I'm not on any medications or diet, I drink moderately, no drugs, exercise daily, eat healthily. Slept in all sorts of environments home and abroad and no other sleep issues. Mid 30's.

Early Chinese History

shothotbot — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 18:19:07 -0800

What are some good books about the history of China, up to say the Qing dynasty? I am particularly interested in the Warring States period up to the first empire. Extra credit for discussions of the spread of Buddhism.

Best video codec for embedding into PowerPoint?

limon — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 17:51:55 -0800

I'd like to embed video clips in a PowerPoint presentation. It would need to play correctly on both Windows and OS X. What codec is ideal? My first attempt won't play on Macs.

Where can I find jacket like Number 6's in NYC?

Godbert — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 17:46:22 -0800

Where in the New York City area can I find a jacket like the one Number 6 (Patrick McGoohan) wore in the original The Prisoner series?

In particular, I mean the black jacket with white piping. Since this is probably a one-time thing, I'm not looking to spend a lot of money on it, and am not opposed to second-hand.

Bonus points for also being able to recommend somewhere to find/have made a 'number 6' button with The Village's penny-farthing bicycle.

Ascii-art app for OS X?

Wild_Eep — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 17:43:45 -0800

What is the name of this obscure Mac text editor that draws ASCII art boxes and lines by dragging them out?

I last used this app about three years ago, on OS X.

It was a simple text editor, that had a unique feature. You could drag a rectangle and it would create a BBS-style ASCII box. It would also do straight lines. (It may have done more).

Freely downloadable, at no cost. Ran in English.

sydney cost of living

neworder7 — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 17:24:25 -0800

CostOfLivingFilter in Sydney: I am 35 year old, professional in Sydney with a salary around AU$100K. I have no dependents, leading a normal modest life with no extravagant expenses. Why do I still feel the life is out of my reach?

I am 35 and I think I am old enough to settle, stop living like a student. Maybe buy a property. I know mine is not a huge salary and I also think it is not very little either for a single person. I realized it seems that it does not look possible to buy a decent house/apartment closer to city without having to go "out west". Also, saving for a deposit is very hard while paying a rent even for an average place in the city.

I am not originally from Australia, been here for couple of years only, so please help me realize where I am placed financially in this society?

Thank you

How can I get my laptop to boot up properly?

AngryTypingGuy — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 16:36:05 -0800

Was in the process of system restore but now I can't boot up my PC. How can I get it to start up correctly?

I was in the middle of cleaning up (defrag, viruses, spyware, etc.) someone else's laptop when I ran into a problem. There was some spyware I was trying to get rid of using a few antispyware programs but none of them seemed to work. So I went to my last resort and used system restore.

The laptop was never able to boot up correctly. It got to the F8 screen and listed the alternative bootup options (Last Known Configuration, Safe Mode, etc.). I tried them all but none of them had any effect. A blue screen would appear for a second and then it would shut down and try starting up again. It just does this in an endless loop.

By the way, I don't have the Windows XP installation CD.

The only other thing I can get into is the BIOS setup utility.

Any other ideas to get it to startup correctly? I really hope I can get the laptop back to the owner without screwing it up any morewhen I took it.

Thanks for your help.

Palenque Package? Cabins? Ayudame!

Admira — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 16:17:06 -0800

I am going on a trip to Mexico next year and I'd love to go to Palenque. Friends of mine from Mexico recommend getting a package tour. I generally dislike package tours but I'm not sure how to find the best flight price, accommodation in VillaHermosa, trip to Palenque, and accommodation there. Anyone have any tips for how to get there, how to book, how long to stay, where to stay etc?

A friend recommended staying on a cabin in Palenque but googling shows every one having extreme reviews of either "Loved it, best place in MY LIFE" or "Never stay here, terrible!".

We've also heard varying advice for how long to stay in Palenque, from 2 days to 7 days.

So I thought I'd ask the hive mind for Palenque travel tips!

History of Copyright Symbol

cinemafiend — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 15:25:35 -0800

Can anyone point me to the origins/history of the © symbol? I've read that the symbol was first called for in U.S. Copyright Law in the 19th Century - but where does the symbol come from?

My google fu is in "you suck" mode today.

I'm searching for information/articles on the origins of the copyright symbol (©) - and please don't tell me the answer is in the latest Dan Brown novel.

I'll accept answers that suggest databases and journals that I should research for this kind of information!

SantaFilter: The Naughty List of the Film, TV,

Unsomnambulist — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 15:09:07 -0800

SantaFilter: I'm trying to make a list of the worst of the worst kids from film and TV, etc., that would end up on Santa's naughty list, year after year. Any suggestions come to mind?

Names that immediately come to mind: Adrian Mole, Lucy (of Peanuts fame), Scut Farcus from "A Christmas Story." Bullies and other kids whose purpose on life seems to be making the lives of other kids miserable.

Bonus points for any links to articles about actual real life naughty kids.

(I'm casting a wide net, but mainly looking for kids whose awfulness, however dark, inspires laughter... perhaps in fellow naughty listers).