Oh boy…kids!!!

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

I am a 34 year old man who has been in a relationship with a woman for several years.  She has a seven year old son from a previous marriage.  I would like to have a child of my own as well, and I brought up that desire since we’ve planned to get married in the near future. The problem is she doesn’t want to have another child, mainly because of her age (39) and fear of having a sick child.

Of course she is not getting any younger and continues to resist the idea.  I just don’t know what to do. I would feel very guilty of breaking this relationship and hurting her, as well as her son with whom I developed a bond over the years. 

Although, he does have a father in his life who shares custody.  Also, my parents are devastated she doesn’t want kids with me and it’s all taking a toll.

I just don’t know how to handle this in the best way.

Thanks for your time. 

Allen   

Dear Allen:

She has been very honest with you about her feelings.  And, her reasons for not wanting another child is understandable, and not because she doesn’t love you. 

In turn, you must search your heart and figure out if her decision is something you can live with, or if you’ll resent it in the future.

If your desire to have a child is ultimately important – staying in a relationship out of guilt is not a good enough reason.

The best way to ever handle anything is to be honest.   

You must be courageous, kind and let her know the reason you breaking off the relationship because of your desire to become a father.

Time will take care of the rest.

Mrs. Figgins

www.askmrsfiggins.com

Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

Wrong Guy

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

If my fiancé of two years lies to me all the Time should I leave him.  I find stupid lies everyday

And who knows how many I have not found. Recently I found a girls number added to his Contacts…he says he can’t remember who she Is or why he added her..it’s only been two weeks.

 So who knows how deep this lie goes. I feel like he just treats me like a fool by lying all the time. I don’t want to ruin my life. I have told him every time that I will leave him for lying … Yet he never stops.

It’s going to drive me crazy..I love him..but this is not the way I think people should live.  Should I just move on?…love or not.

Deb, Toronto

Dear Deb:

He never stops lying and you never leave – so what exactly is puzzling you?

You’re with a liar and a cheat.  And he’s with a fool.

So now answer the question yourself:   Should you leave?

Mrs. Figgins

www.askmrsfiggins.com

Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

Keeping Us Free

Dear Friends:

It is because of the brave men and women in the military that we are free.   We thank and honor them.

And, we must ensure that the government provide the defense spending to keep our troops and America safe.  

I am grateful to the Heritage Foundation for allowing us to share the following article with you. 

May GOD Bless Our Troops & The United States of America.

Mrs. Figgins

Honor Our Veterans by Providing for the Common Defense

The Heritage Foundation honors America’s men and women who died in military service.  And there is no better way to do that than to push for adequate support for our armed services.  The preamble of the constitution clearly gives the federal government the responsibility to “provide for the common defense.”  But that goal cannot be reached without proper defense spending and investments. 

Military Shrinking

Today’s military is roughly half the size it was in the early 1990s. The Army has gone from 18 divisions during Desert Storm to 10; the Air Force has gone from 37 tactical air wings to 20; and the Navy has gone from 568 ships in the late 1980s to a fleet of only 276 today. 

Missile Defense Defunded

Iran has successfully launched a long-range missile capable of hitting Israel and other countries in the Middle East, even as Tehran has continued to engage in diplomatic duplicity. And countries like North Korea, China, and Russia have reportedly worked to achieve electromagnetic pulse capabilities. It only makes sense that if our enemies have ballistic missile programs, we should have missile defense technologies.  Yet, at the request of President Obama and Defense Secretary Gates, Congress has reduced missile defense funding and pulled out of the third site in Poland.  The president’s pursuit of a is promising, but, at present, only 20 Navy ships have been sea-based ballistic missile defense program modified for BMD capabilities. Navy officials hope to outfit 67 ships, and they’ll need additional funding to do that. See The Heritage Foundation’s documentary called 33 Minutes on the urgent call to protect America

Equipment Aging

Much of the military’s equipment is old and increasingly unreliable, and its technological edge is at risk. 

• The average age of Air Force aircraft in 1973 was just nine years. The average aircraft today is 24 years old, while aircraft modernization funding has faced shortfalls of up to $20 billion in recent years. The Air Force acquisition budget is 30 percent short of the amount necessary to fund equipment purchases and upgrades. 

• The Pentagon purchased an average of 238 Air Force fighters and five tanker aircraft each year from 1975–1990, compared to only 28 from 1991 to 2000.

• This dramatic reduction in our fighter force is happening at the same time F-15’s are falling out of the sky because they’ve been patched up so many times.

• The Joint Strike Fighter plane will constitute 90 percent of all U.S. fighters in 2035. Because it is a single-engine plane, unless there is an alternate engine available, an engine error could lead to a system-wide grounding of every aircraft until the problem is identified and fixed. Yet, Congress has questioned whether to continue to fund an alternate engine for the JSF.   

• The Navy faces a substantial shortfall in fighter aircraft inventories and budgetary obstacles to its 30-year shipbuilding plan.

• Poor readiness reports even led the Navy to pause the entire worldwide U.S. surface fleet in 2008.

After the Cold War ended, the Clinton Administration believed an era of peace was at hand. Consequently, the President and Congress cut both the size of the military and the funding for modernization far below what was necessary to sustain American capabilities.  While President George W. Bush increased spending on the military, it was not enough to remedy the shortfalls of the 1990s, particularly with ongoing operations overseas since 2001. As a result, the military’s capital inventory has become largely outdated.

The impact of collective decisions made over the past 15 years and the operations tempo of U.S. forces abroad means that today America is in danger of losing vital core security capabilities without increased investment. This includes the potential loss of core defense capabilities such as air dominance, maritime control, space control, and projecting power to distant regions.

In order to honor our military heroes and provide for the common defense of America, we must devote the resources we need to the military. 

www.askmrsfiggins.com

Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

What’s the Answer?

Mrs Figgins Trivia Question!

Question:

What U.S. President refused to use the telephone while in office?

A:  Herbert Hoover

B:  Richard Nixon

C:  Calvin Coolidge

D:  Warren G. Harding

Answer:

Calvin Coolidge refused to use the telephone while he was President.

A man of few words, he once said, “If you don’t say anything, you won’t be called on to repeat it.”

www.askmrsfiggins.com

Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

What's the Answer?

Mrs. Figgins Trivia Question!

Question:

Who wrote the wedding march “Here Comes The Bride”?

A:  Richard Rogers

B:  Neil Sedaka

C:  Mozart

D:  Richard Wagner

Answer:

The ‘Here Comes The Bride’ wedding march is by Richard Wagner, from the opera Lohengrin.

There are other wedding marches by Bach, Mendelssohn and Handel.

www.askmrsfiggins.com

Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!