Ask the Bad Man

Don't be a Pussy.

2013-04-29T11:33:00.003-07:00

In this life time, there are a very few things that you will truly own.

Among those are your reputation and your thoughts.

That said:

There's only two things in life
that you don't want your reputation to be
or for others to think that you are.

Ready?

#1. A Dick.

Just trust me. If your reputation is that of a Dick, just move to another place
Change professions
and start all over...
and please
don't be a Dick.

If you ever say to yourself, "I'm such a Dick."

Guess what?
If you think it, everyone else knows it.
You're a Dick.

and again, please...

don't be a Dick.

Next thing you don't want to be...

#2. A Pussy.

If people call you a Pussy, or you think you are Pussy,

you shouldn't be reading my shit.

Luckily, in this case, you don't need to move...

You just have to change... Professions.

-Sex, Religion, Race, Planet, Balls all aside-

Love is Love.

Life is life.

Business is business.

A Dick is a Dick.

Don't be one.

A Pussy is a Pussy.

Don't be one.

The bottom line is this:

What you are is Rational.
What people think you are is Emotional.

If you're a Pussy, you won't climb the hill.
If you're a Dick... No one will help you up.

Here's a hint.

Keep your reputation clean.
Keep your thoughts to yourself.

Good Luck,
Cheers!
B

Having Balls.

2013-04-06T19:27:00.000-07:00

That’s right, I said it.… Balls.

And yes, women have balls too. So when I say having Balls, it goes for everyone. Balls is no more, no less than a very strong, emotional energy within, that only YOU, have the power to control. This energy can be emitted from or suppress in, your body. And like any other source of energy, Balls have to be controlled.

Balls is what join and separate everything… Allow me to explain Balls as seen through the eyes of the Villain and Rogue.

Firstly. Balls is not stepping up and spouting off. At times it can be, but to a Villain, a Rogue, that’s just a simple lack of self-control and not sexy at all. As I said earlier Balls is a strong, emotional energy. Now imagine that you learned how to focus that emotional energy. Let me just tell you Good Ball Control is priceless… and very, very sexy.

Your Balls usually show when it's time to step:

Step up. This one is the easiest. You simply have to have Balls to move ahead in life.
Step aside. This one is not as easy. Having the Balls to step aside takes practice. Look at it this way, when you see someone coming at you hard, I mean Balls out. The best thing to do is step aside and let them pass. Most people who go Balls out are not in control. Which is often not good for whomever is in the way.
Step back. The Balls to step back unfortunately is often preceded by an emotional downer. Having the Balls to step back means that you have to take the high road in whatever the situation may be.
Step away. This one is the toughest and takes more Balls than you will use to step up. See, stepping away has to be done sometimes. Say you've stuck with something, someone, some place too long. Physically and emotionally you are connected to it but you know this thing is no longer good for you. There's no growth potential. There's no return on your investment. You have to have Brass Balls to truly step away from something negative that you are bound to. You have to have the Balls to leave, you also have to have the Balls to start over. Unfortunately, most people don't have Brass Balls. Most people will stay in a messed up place and try to fix what's broken.

(Villains & Rogues #149 : Once it's broken… it's broken. Even if you fix it. It's still broken)

How you use your Balls will determine everything you do, every step you take and of course the outcome of everything. Uncontrolled Ball Emission (UBE) is bad. It's a waste of time and energy, a loss of growth and power, it's "Punking" yourself. We've all done it. The goal is to never do it again.

Good Ball Control (GBC) means you’ll be seen as professional and a master of self. The only thing that can make Good Ball Control spin out is the Ego… And that’s a big deal. The Ego is a motherfucker to deal with. The Ego is a child, a three and a half year old, screaming and kicking. The Ego wants what it wants, period. It wasn’t until I had children myself, that I truly understood that. You MUST control the Ego… If you're asking how, it’s likely because you don’t have kids.

To control the Ego, you have to realize that it's your inner child. You have to love it, nurture it, respect it, play with it and NOT let it run your life. Every parent knows what I’m saying. Once you have that in check… Trust it. Let your Ego take control of your Balls.

To be a real pro, keep your Balls in check. After all, no one truly wants to see your ______ Balls. (Every joke you are making right now really does apply.) More important, you really don't want to show your ______ Balls to everyone anyway. That just takes you all the way back to having no self-control, thereby, having no Balls. (Therein lies the rub…)

You control your Ego, your Ego controls your Balls. You win.

The equation goes like this. Balls = You over your Ego.

You’ll be impressed when you see how fast you rise to any occasion, how fast you climb any ladder and how many people will help you… because they believe that whatever it is… you’ve got the Balls to do it.

All that said, Balls is still just a part of the picture. It's a good sized part but still not the whole picture. Next time I'll take a look at working "Smarter" not "Harder". Which requires having the Balls... to know the difference.

Boss
Villains and Rogues

How to Survive Jury Duty.

2013-03-13T23:55:00.000-07:00

7 am: I wake saying "SHIT!!" My wife says, "Boooo? You up?" ...Yeah, she calls me "Boo".

8 am: I'm at the courthouse listening to this dude tell me how to walk through a metal detector.... at least 70 other people around me holding juror papers. Every type of American you could imagine. I was one of them. And from the looks of things, we'd all been though metal detectors before.

9 am: We're all seated in different rooms... I walk into a room of solem faces. "Is this the party?", I said with a big smile! Nothing. Crickets.

Juror #1 walks in. (That's just I'm going to call him.)

He said some shit like, "Don't worry everyone!! I'm Here!!"

... Instant Bromance.

Long story short... How and why things happen are out of our control. Turns out Juror #1 is a very real MF. Young but accomplished. Full of piss and vinegar... Ready to fight on! I loved the energy in a otherwise, bullshit setting. He was genius. He called me #16. I promise you've heard of, or maybe have seen his first movie. He read scenes from the second movie to me during lunch. It was awesome!

Back to the Jury...

Mind you, if the case is something you care about, you go ahead and be a juror. Your thoughts could one day change laws and lives.

Honestly, if this case were important, I would have stayed.

This is just a very, very short story of how we got out of jury duty for a "bullshit" case last Monday.

Juror #1 "I'm Bi-Polar."

Juror #16 "You Honor, I smoke medical marijuana!"

The look on the Judge's face was priceless.

Did You Know? ...that when they dismiss you from Jury Duty, they give you a green piece of paper excusing from Jury Duty for a year?

Best day EVER!

Cheers!

Boss

The “REAL” Pimp Game - Repost

2013-03-04T08:33:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer: I am NOT a politcal person, I'm just callin it like I see it.

The “REAL” Pimp Game.

By @AskTheBadMan

Disclaimer Disclaimer: I may not be completely right, But I’m not completely wrong.

By popular definition:

Pimp

A pimp is an agent for prostitutes who lives off their earnings. Pimping is illegal in most countries. The majority of pimps are men. A woman who runs a brothel is known as a madam. The pimp–prostitute relationship can be abusive, with the pimp using techniques such as psychological intimidation, manipulation and physical force to control the prostitutes who work for him.[1] Pimps are known under the law as procurers. In the United States, pimps are arrested and charged with pandering.

Now take away the negative shit and look up…

Dot the I’s and cross the T’s

And what do we see?

We see that a pimp is an agent who lives off earnings of others. Pimping is in most countries. The majority of pimps are men. Women Pimps are called Madams or:

Stephanie Rae Roqumore

HOUSTON — By the standards of recent financial scandals, Stephanie Rae Roqumore's alleged US$6.8 million natural gas trading scam may be small potatoes, but it raises some big questions.

Read more:
http://www.financialpost.com/news/this+Houston+energy+trader+woman+Enron/3830108/story.html#ixzz1A8thrv3D

Ms.Cleo

We all know that everyone who ever called Ms. Cleo got pimped!!

The pimp–prostitute relationship can be abusive using techniques such as psychological intimidation, manipulation and physical force to control the others who work for him.[1]

Big Pimpin'

-Bernie Madoff

-Stanford Financial

-Tyco International

-WorldCom

-Enron

Pimps are known under the law as procurers. But In real life, Pimps are business people, who hustle to sell whatever the fuck they sellin’ to make money. Thereby, living off the earning they make from said hustle.

Following this theory, if one does anything to make money, one is “Pimping” something.

In the United States, pimps are arrested and charged with pandering.

-Bernie Madoff

$65 billion missing from clients’ accounts

(although actual client losses were closer to $18 billion).

-Stanford Financial

Allen Stanford, the Texas financier accused of a $7 billion fraud,

should be transferred to another detention facility

because there has been no air conditioning in the jail cell

where he is being held, his lawyer said in a court filing.

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/money/2009/07/28/2009-07-28_accused_financial_fraudster_allen_stanford_has_lawyer_complain_that_hes_too_hot_.html#ixzz1A8un7dQd

-Tyco International

In 2005, Kozlowski and chief financial officer Mark Swartz were convicted of stealing $600 million from the company. Kozlowski will forever be remembered for the $2 million birthday party he threw for his wife on a Mediterranean island that featured entertainers dressed in togas and an appearance by singer Jimmy Buffett—mostly at company expense.

-WorldCom

When the WorldCom scandal hit the news in June 2002, a little known piece of legislation that had been languishing in the U.S. House and Senate was resuscitated instantaneously. Just a few weeks later, the Sarbanes-Oxley Act was approved in the House by a vote of 423-3 and in the Senate by a vote of 99-0. It introduced the most sweeping set of new business regulations since the 1930s.

-Enron

Enron was the “it” company at the turn of the century. Its success seemed to define a new kind of company for the new millennium. On October 16, 2001, however, Enron announced an earnings restatement that investors immediately recognized as a harbinger of bigger problems. In six short weeks the company that had oozed wealth, smarts and power declared bankruptcy. Thousands of employees and investors saw their retirement savings vanish with the company.

I could go back forever with this shit but…

It all stops here…

The first being to buy or sell another being for money was a pimp.

Later those beings and the decendents of those beings became the top merchants, business owners, socialites and “leaders of the world”… aka: The World Bank.

All by Pimpin’.

The Real Pimps: are the ones who pimp the ones who pimp the ones who pimp the ones who pimp us. (If you really want to know who that is, go 33 “who pimp the ones” deep.)

"Bitch!! Where the fuck is my MONEY!!"

Nuff said,
Hello CIA...

Sincerely,
The Bad Man.

America's Gun Control

2013-01-19T17:29:00.002-08:00

Gun Ownership

Sure, everyone should have the right to own a gun.
But.....

Registration and Rules

Must be min 21 y/o

Under 21 accompanied by adult or in military. Period.

Next, how about before we just hand some fool a gun... They answer some questions?

What is your reason for wanting to own a firearm?

Believe me , I get it... But it's not me I'm worried about....

Citizen?

Hunter?

Business Owner?

Law Enforcement?

Protection Agency?

Security Co?

Money transport?

Private Investigator?

Collector/Historian?

Other? Please describe and explain.

How many Firearms do you own and why?
I mean really? How do we let some of these fools get so many guns?

Revolvers:

Semi-automatics:

Rifles:

Shotguns:

Assault Rifles: (Military, Law Enforcement, National Guard or Coast Guard only!)

Any other large caliber guns:

Now we need some...

References:
"I ain't got money, but I got a gun!" - Should not happen.

Valid Driver License or State ID w/Photo from state of purchase.

Bank account # If you don’t have money in the goddamn bank, why the fuck do you need a gun?

Personal References: Who’s gonna vouch for your ass?

Three people: Names, addresses, phone numbers, Driver Licenses & Social Security Numbers.

Education and Testing:

Mandatory classes taught by Local or State Police

Newly purchased firearm is stored until class is complete.

101 – Learn your firearm.

Make, model, caliber, breaking it down, cleaning, re-building, loading, clearing, storing.

102 - Rules for use.

State and federal gun use laws and penalties.

103 – Use.

Target practice. Must score at certain level to pass. Before you can walk with your gun.

Registering & Licensing:

Every firearm has a Make, Model and Serial Number.

Every owner has a driver license or state ID and a social security number.

How about we put it all together?

Oh yeah.... How does a Local or State Police Agency pay for the time/hours it takes for an officer to teach these classes? I don't know, maybe by raising the prices of firearms, increasing the tax on a firearm, or simply charge the owner for the damn class....

Just a thought...

Notification:

Gun Owner Public Notification

Pretty simple.

Everything (accident or crime) leads back to the registered owner.

Just wrong.

Penalties

Under-aged crimes involving firearms are tried as adult.

With Possession of a Firearm in Public.

Add the words, “with intent to commit murder” to the end of any crime.

If you unlawfully take the life of another human being,
you loose all rights.

Death or life in prison.

And the person who owns the gun
is just as responsible as the person who uses the gun.

But still....

I'm just saying...

These are just some quick thoughts based on the recent shootings in the news... I consider myself on of the "Good" guys and I'm telling you, it's far too easy for the "Bad" guys to get guns.

Good luck,

The Bad Man

Love... Actually.

2013-01-11T09:18:00.000-08:00

It has been over 30 days since the last time I sat to reflect on the world around me.

Why so long?

Well, I was becoming disenchanted.

I was losing faith in mankind and had separated myself from it

to the point of becoming a bit of a vile and very base.
http://askthebadman.blogspot.com/2011/01/how-to-fuck-up-your-relationship.html

In my 30 days of regression back to a past me,

I tried to simply stay quite.

I watched all those who might be watching me.

And yes, you can all be found.

I looked for similarities, likeness, things we may have “clicked” in common….

Now, here’s the crazy part.

The more I looked, the less angry I became.

I started to wonder what the fuck was making me act this way to begin with?

The answer is…

Love.

No, really. Love was making me crazy.

Much the same way as the Alpha Lion protects its Pride.

The Bull watches over the heard.

It was simple, kinda animal based, love.

But wait, there’s more….

The more I peered into the world around me, the more I saw

what was driving the people of Mother Earth

and mankind as a whole.

Guess what I saw?

More… Love.

Love in the best and worst forms.

The joy. The pain.

The accepting and rejecting up and down,

Rocking your world, while fucking your life kind of loves.

I needed to understand this, so… I looked it up.

I want to share what I found.

I just don’t want to share it... the way I found it.

Straight. No chaser.

No sugar coating.

No bullshit.

Like to hear it?

Here it goes.

The 9 types of love.

Affection.

It’s nice. You start to care, become close.

You do things for someone else and it makes you happy.

In your heart, you want to give and receive this.

In the beginning you will.

Affection makes you warm. All humans need it.

The kick in the ass is:

If you don’t give it, you will not get it.

And even when you do give it,

there is no guarantee that it will be returned.

Friendship.

Your there for them, they’re there for you…

You can talk about anything.

You’re honest with each other, supporting, loyal, respectful and tight.

The kick?

Motive.

The answer?

Time.

Why does this person want to hang out with you?

Only time will tell.

Advice? If I may?

Don’t call someone a “friend” until you’ve known them for at least a year.

And in that year, give them a lot of rope…

See if they hang themselves.

Infatuation.

You just can’t get this person outta your head,

The good and the bad.

The physical attraction, the crush…

Holy fuck, I'm love drunk!

Reciprocation is the problem.

They say all good things come to an end…

Who ever the hell they are... they’re right.

This doesn’t mean that the love is done,

This means the infatuation is.

Infatuation, like lighting, rarely strike the same place twice.

Platonic Love.

Take all the above, now lose the sex.

Ahhhhhh. No. Thank you...

I don’t care what people think. This is what I know…

There is no platonic love that can’t find it's way to the nasty.

Step 1: Take any friendship

Step 2: Add alcohol

Next thing you know...

You’re waking in the morning trying to act, “Normal”.

Puppy Love.

Who said, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks?”

Puppy love happens at any age.

The most common sign is when you start to act immature.

Suddenly you're doing, thinking and feeling silly things.

It’s cute. What else can you say?

And everyone's, got an inner puppy.

Romantic love.

The soft music and candles, the long walks while holding hands… kissing.

You don’t fuck.

You make love.

You’ve become one.

Careful, this shit leads to marriage.

And like infatuation, it often comes to an end.

This doesn’t mean that the love is done.

It means the romance is.

And that doesn’t mean it’s gone forever,

It means priorities have shifted.

You can HAVE it back… if you WANT it back..

The problem is it takes two.

Sexual Love.

Lust. Need. Intimacy.

Master and servant, tie me up, tie me down,

Let me whisper in your ear while I pull your hair,

Lock your body to mine… Shhh... quite....

What’s the real kick in the ass?

It ends.

Eventually you’ll want cherry pie instead of apple.

What you do about it depends on who you are,

What your word is worth and plain old honesty.

Just know that sex is NOT love.

Sex is the funky shit that you do to one another

that makes you think you’re in love.

Passionate love.

Naturally comes after sexual love.

It’s intense, expressive; you’ve given yourself away.

You’re fucked.

There is no you with out them.

You’re fucked.

Only one thing can save you…

Cause you're fittin' ta get yo ass hitched!

Committed Love.

You made it to this because you’ve gone through all else.

Hell and back.

You see each other’s faults and accept them.

In time of need YOU are there.

There is devotion. There is sacrifice.

You’ve become Bonnie and Clyde.

The kick in the motherfucking ass?

People lie.

Just how committed are you?

Really?

How committed are they?

You won’t know till it’s over.

And if you’ve made it this far it only ends three ways...

Death or deceit or split decision.

Someone’s going to pass away, someone’s going to walk away

or your both just gonna say fuck it.

So there it is.

Love

The all encompassing, roller coaster of physical, emotional

and mind melting uncertainty that we all must find and

give and then take from one another.

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

-Lord Alfred Tennyson

Personally, I truly believe that if you love someone,

You have to be able to let them go lovingly.

If they love you…

They will come back.

No matter who you are, someone is in love with you.

You may not notice if you stay hung up on the one you had to let go.

Good Luck.

Sincerely,

The Bad Man

Happy Motherfucking Christmas

2012-12-20T23:07:00.000-08:00

'Twas the night before Christmas...

Old Santa was pissed.

He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.

Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.

I have a good mind to scrap the fucking whole works!

I've busted my ass for damn near a year,

Instead of "Thanks Santa"-- this bullshit I hear?

The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.

The elves want more money. (Suck it.)

The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and banged all the maids.

Donner is pregnant (again) and Vixen has AIDS.

And just when I thought that things would get better...

Those Fucktards from the IRS sent me a letter,

They say I owe taxes--if that shit ain't funny

Who the fuck ever sent Santa any gotdamn money?

And the kids these days--they're all the pits

They want the impossible.

Those mean little shits

I spent a whole year making wagons, trains and sleds

Assembling dolls... arms, legs and heads.

I made a ton of yo yo's... But no request for them,

Kids want computers and robots...Like I'm fucking IBM!

So' I'm Flying through the air... I'm dodging the trees

I'm falling down chimneys and fucking up my knees

I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment

I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.

If there's no Christmas next year now you know the reason,

I found me a blonde.

I'm going SOUTH for the season!

Happy Gotdamn Holidays!

Cheers!

The BadMan

Countdown to Armageddon... Last Call revisited

2012-12-09T20:26:00.002-08:00

Planet Earth!!!

Last Call!

So.... now I'm thinking "End of Days" shit...

Like to hear it?

Here it go...

The Apocalypse
Apparently, these four dudes on horses are gonna fuck us up.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse:

First Horseman - White Horse

First Seal = False Peace/False Religion/False Messiah

Second Horseman - Red Horse

Second Seal = War! War! War!

Third Horseman - Black Horse

Third Seal = Famine

Fourth Horseman - Pale Horse

Fourth Seal = Disease

The First Horseman

First Seal - Pestilence

White horse

""I watched as the Lamb opened the first of the seven seals. Then I heard one of the four living creatures say in a voice like thunder, "Come!" I looked, and there before me was a white horse! Its rider held a bow, and he was given a crown, and he rode out as a conqueror bent on conquest.""

O...KAY.... So this guy is not American. We don't fight with bows or wear crowns.

As far as "Conquest" goes, American people don't want to rule the world. We want everybody to stop fucking around and start working together to better the planet.

That is the true opinion of "America's People" and I hope of other people around the world.

The opinion of the Government and World Leaders? Let's just say they don't really give a flying fuck about the people... US. - "Its rider held a bow, and he was given a crown, and he rode out as a conqueror bent on conquest."

Second Horseman

Second Seal - War

Red Horse

"When the Lamb opened the second seal, I heard the second living creature say, "Come!" Then another horse came out, a fiery red one. Its rider was given power to take peace from the earth and to make men slay each other. To him was given a large sword.""

Anyone know of any wars going on or brewing?

Personal message to World Leaders involved......
STOP THIS NONSENSE!

Truth is the people of this planet don't want to fight each other.

PS., My Chinese astrology sign is "The Fire Horse"

and I'm not feelin' WAR...

Third Horseman

Third Seal - Famine

Black Horse

""When the Lamb opened the third seal, I heard the third living creature say, "Come!" I looked, and there before me was a black horse! Its rider was holding a pair of scales in his hand. Then I heard what sounded like a voice among the four living creatures, saying, "A quart of wheat for a day's wages, and three quarts of barley for a day's wages, and do not damage the oil and the wine!""

Sounds like he's making bread, beer and or pasta... OR taking away the food and it's sources from people thereby causing starvation and famine.

(Just Sayin')

But what the fuck do I know?
Except that I'm getting my family the hell away from and out of LA before Dec. 2012.

Fourth Horseman

Fourth Seal - Death

Green or Pale Horse

""When the Lamb opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth living creature say, "Come!" I looked and there before me was a pale horse! Its rider was named Death, and Hell was following close behind him. They were given power over a fourth of the earth to kill by sword, famine and plague, and by the wild beasts of the earth."

Part of me says, "FUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK!!!" Then I chill. I blaze a fatty and I think... Hmmmmmm.

"Hold up!

Homey said "given power over a fourth of the earth to kill by sword, famine and plague, and by the wild beasts of the earth."

So? What 4th of the rock are we talking about?

I mean my heart goes out to that quarter... But I'm not tryin' to be a part of it. That said, if you live in a major city, you may want to consider taking a long vacation before shit happens and there's no food... for days.... Think about it.

BUT WAIT!!!

There's more!!

Fifth Seal

Vision of martyrs

Let’s go way back in time in 1480 when the Ottomans or the Turks invaded Otranto city. A fleet of 70 to 200 Ottoman ships arrived in Otranto and the locals and garrison took shelter at the Castle of Otranto. It was captured by the Ottomans and the garrison was killed by the troops of Mohammed II.

What happened next? Those who refused to convert were slain, 800 of them, taken to the hill of Minerva, the Hill of the Martyrs, and beheaded.

So to honour these locals, who gave their lives to protect their faith, the cathedral preserved the skulls and bones of 800 martyrs behind glass of the altar walls, so it constantly reminds people of the past. Every year during that period on August 14th, this small town of Otranto commemorates the slaughtered souls.

Sixth Seal

Cosmic disturbances:

The sun turns black, moon turns blood red; sealing of the 144,000

And the kings of the earth, and the great men, and the rich men, and the chief captains, and the mighty men, and every bondman, and every free man, hid themselves in the dens and in the rocks of the mountains;

16: And said to the mountains and rocks, Fall on us, and hide us from the face of him that sitteth on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb:

HUH?

I'm no historical or religious interpreter but....

This motherfucker just said
"Hide your asses!"

Pss...

Check out: Solar Flares, Polar Shifting and their effects... Oh yeah, look for planetary alignment and go deep.

"For the great day of his wrath is come; and who shall be able to stand"

Don't want to get caught out in a storm?

Consider this...

Check the links... Underground homes, pretty cool...

http://www.civilengineergroup.com/underground-homes-introduction.html

http://www.squidoo.com/coober-pedy

And last but not least...

Que the horns!!

Seventh Seal
Prelude To The 7 Trumpets of 7 Angels &The Final Judgement

This is when we (or that unlucky quarter of the population) get judged for our sins.

Interesting fact people:
If you are born... you will die.

Apocalypse or not.

I suggest that we as humans start enjoying the life we have.

So there it is.

Good luck.
The Bad Man

Once again....
Planet Earth!!! Last Call!!

You ain’t gotta go home, but you gotta get the hell outta here!

I don't remember a thing...

2012-08-30T00:24:00.002-07:00

Transient Global Amnesia

AKA

“I don't know what the hell you're talking about”

Definition

By Mayo Clinic Staff

Translated By The Bad Man

Disclaimer: This is in no way to belittle serious memory issues such as Parkinson's or Alzheimer's

Transient global amnesia is a sudden, temporary episode of memory loss that can't be attributed to a more common neurological condition, such as epilepsy or stroke.

Excuse me?

You’re saying I CAN TEMPORARILY FORGET SHIT?

Yes.

During an episode of transient global amnesia, your recall of recent events simply vanishes, so you can't remember where you are or how you got there. You may also draw a blank when asked to remember things that happened a day, a month or even a year ago.

With transient global amnesia, you do remember who you are, and recognize the people you know well, but that doesn't make your memory loss any less disturbing.

NO FUCKING WAY.

Not disturbed at all!

Please continue.

Fortunately, transient global amnesia is rare, seemingly harmless and unlikely to happen again. Episodes are usually short-lived, and afterward your memory is fine.

So you’re telling me,

I’m just gonna forget shit and be cool with it?

Short lived episodes = may happen a couple of times…

Stop fucking with me.

This is not an illness.

This is the GREATEST HALL-PASS EVER!!

Symptoms

Transient global amnesia is identified by its main symptom, which is the inability to lay down new memories and to recall the recent past. Doctors base a diagnosis of transient global amnesia on the following signs and symptoms:

Sudden onset of memory loss, verified by a witness

AKA: The Homie

Retention of personal identity despite memory loss –

“I know who I am, BUT WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?”

Awesome.

Normal cognition (ability to recognize and name familiar objects and follow simple directions, for example)

Let’s see, that’s a paddle.

That’s the lube.

Those are latex sheets.

That is 8lbs of Silly-Puddy.

And these are Magnums.

Absence of signs indicating damage to a particular area of the brain (limb paralysis, involuntary movement or impaired word recognition, for example)

Is this the part where I say I feel fine?

Duration of no more than 24 hours

Duly noted… THIS IS A 24HR HALL-PASS

Gradual return of memory

“Last thing remember was….”

You mean I actually get to say that?

No evidence of seizures during the period of amnesia

Good.

No history of active epilepsy or recent head injury

A “one-time only” occurrence?

The new “First Offence” plea…

These signs and symptoms sometimes accompany memory loss in transient global amnesia:

Headache

Nausea

Vomiting

Dizziness

Chills or flushing

Fear of dying

Pins-and-needles sensation

Cold hands and feet

Powerful expression of emotion

Trembling

Sweating

Chest or neck pain

Visual disturbance

Racing heartbeat

What? That's a great fucking night's morning hangover!

Episodes of transient global amnesia last only six hours, on average, and there is no lasting damage. When an episode is over, you remember nothing that happened while your memory was impaired, and you might not recall several hours beforehand.

Otherwise, though, your memory is fine.

This is a one time deal…

You need to plan for this one.

It’s got to be special!

Make it a Night to remember.

Then forget about it.

Rules 1 & 2 definitely apply!

Rule #3 - you won't remember any way.

Have some fun with this one,

Sincerely,

The Bad Man

Bad Man 101

2012-06-11T13:44:00.000-07:00

I live life by a very simple set of rules.

Welcome to Bad Man 101.

You already know rules 1,2 and 3. But, I’ll reiterate.

One.

Do your dirt by your lonely.

Two.

Keep your mouth shut.

Three.

Always look good leaving.

Here are some other rules, add them where you want,

just understand these are very important and must be adhered to

... if you want to get ahead in this life.

Rule - Never reveal 100% of anything, to anyone… Ever.

It’s good for people to know that you’re a mover and a shaker.

But it’s none of their goddamn business what you’re moving

… or why you’re shaking.

Learn to speak between the lines.

Rule - Your word is your bond… Always.

If you say you’re going to do something, then you best fucking do it.

Otherwise you are as cheap as your talk.

Rule – A wrong decision is better than no decision.

Simply put. Stand for something or you’ll fall for anything.

Rule – Work harder than everyone else.

Not just for the money, but to get the experience faster than the next guy.

One day, you’ll be the leader.

It would be nice of you to know what the hell you’re doing.

Rule – You are worth as much as you can ask for with a straight face.

Try it in a mirror. Ask for a million dollars.

Practice until you can ask without laughing at yourself.

When the time comes, you’ll be able to ask a price for your services

… and you’ll get it.

Rule - Never forgive betrayal.

Never.

Rule – It is OK to knowingly lie,
to preserve the innocents of a child.

Yes, Santa is real.

Yes, The Tooth Fairy put that there…

No. I’ve never been to jail.

Learn these rules well; one day there will be a test… And won’t be from me.

Good Luck.

Sincerely,

The Bad Man

Presenting... ChickieX

2012-05-28T23:41:00.000-07:00

One of the reasons I love Twitter.... You get to meet people that you would have never otherwise, gotten to know. Case in point, my friend ChickieX! I love it when she goes off on a tangent and just has to rant... See, ChickieX speaks a lot of truth. I mean truth that most men don't hear from a woman and truth that most women don't want to be told... The following is just a taste...

(The following is a Twitter time line... that means you have to read it from the bottom up...)

Love. Sex. Fucking.

2012-05-19T00:52:00.000-07:00

Making love

There is that love energy... you know it when you feel it... it's Love.

There is a Respect.

A Sense of Loyalty.

An Honesty.

There is Balance... Nothing is too heavy.

You Support - You Encourage.

You can feel them / They can feel you.

You are Accountable for your actions....

Having Sex

You gotta have Love for each other..

Respect one another.

Being Honest is optional... that's just the truth.

Keep it real...

Smile because it feels good, Laugh because it's fun.

Be Accountable for your actions....

Fucking

You have to WANT to do it.

No matter WHAT... No matter WHERE.

No matter HOW...

Many of the other qualities listed above are optional.

And YES......You are Accountable for your actions....

Some things you should know

or at least think about....

Choose wisely and well.

Attraction happens to people for all kinds of reasons.

Don't confuse sex with love.

Know your needs and speak up. This is not a guessing game.

Respect, act in ways so that your partner always maintains respect for you.

Manage differences... Disagreements don't sink relationships. Name-calling does.

If you don't understand or like something, say something. Don't assume you know.

Solve problems as they arise. Don't let resentments simmer.

Truly listen, to your partner's concerns and complaints without judgment.

Work hard at maintaining closeness.

Closeness doesn't happen by itself. In its absence, people drift apart

Some dependency is good, but complete dependency SUCKS! It's a whole other topic... Keep your self-respect and your self-esteem... And they have to have their own as well.

Stay open to spontaneity.

Wanna Maintain your Stamina?

Stay in shape!

Please believe this:

All relationships have ups and downs.

More often than not, they don't las forever...

Bottom Line:

Love is not an absolute, not a thing that you're in of or out of.

It's a feeling that comes and goes depending on how you treat each other.

Sex requires some love but is more of a fun "in the moment" thing. It's not as emotional as "making love" or as deep as most people make it out to be...

Fucking...

It's for those who have "made love", had sex, and want or need more.

The thing about fucking... You have to know what your doing,
You have to WANT it bad...

you have to LOVE to FUCK...

Otherwise, well, you ain't fucking.

Good Luck,

The Bad Man

Be A Man

2012-05-17T22:58:00.002-07:00

.... of Your Word

Step one:

Never make promises.

Unless you are absolutely going to keep them.

If you say you’re going to do something….

DO something.

You got somewhere to be?

Fucking be there.

You might be a lil late or a lil early…. But be there.

Real Talk:

All you truly have in this lifetime is your name and your reputation.

When it’s over,

This life…

You are not taking shit with you….

You are leaving shit behind.

And no matter what the fuck you did… Or how much you acquired…

It is your name and your reputation that will be remembered.

…. By EVERYONE!

When I say by everyone,

That means, you need to really think about what the fuck you say

And who the fuck you say it to.

FOR INSTANCE:

You may be the best shit, since shit was invented
…. At your job.

Rock on. Do your thing baby!

If you’re not “The Shit” at your job, well that’s another topic.

But!

How are you at being her man?

You want to keep your girl?

Keep your word.

It’s that fucking simple and it works both ways…

You say you’re gonna change… Then change!

You say you’ll never change… then don’t fucking change.

Believe it or not, someone might love your ass just the way you are.

Women are very literal creatures. They like to speak and be spoken to...

Your words will have meaning. Careful what you say...

Yeah, sure, there will always be some shit that tosses a wrench in the mix.

Just remember, what goes up, must come down.

Spinning wheel gots to go round.

That’s life.

How are you at being a father?

Want to know how I do it?

I don’t make promises to my kids.

That way, Daddy doesn’t break any promises…. Get it?

Yes, I give my kids things but I give them randomly.

That way, they know I think about em’.

Lesson here: With children, be thoughtful.

Oh yeah. And boys will be boys.....

Just sayin.

How are you at being a friend?

In case you didn’t know, you get like five best friends in your life.
Everyone else is an acquaintance.
So choose who call a friend carefully.

Hint: Best friends put in time and effort.

I can only speak from my own experience when I say…
Most people want something from you.

Sex. Money. Power. Possessions.Time.

And they will get it.

Most people, intentionally or not, will leave you feeling fucked over.

Just know, that when you’re in trouble…
Not everyone who shows up is there to help.

How are you at keeping a secret?

Omerta.

Bad Man 101: Rule #2 Keep your mouth shut.

Flipside: Some secrets are fucked and not worth keeping.
Especially if you know the secret is going to fuck over something you care about.

If you drop dime.
That's: Tell on, Snitch, Rat, Squeal, Leak, Blow the whistle..

Be prepared to deal with the consequences. Whatever they may be.

Step two:

Don’t lie.

Think of yourself as a sniper.

Think of your word as a bullet.

“One shot. One kill.”

No matter what you’re doing… One lie can kill it.

Be a man of your word.

And yes, this shit goes for women too.

Sincerely,

The Bad Man

Marriage is a Business Deal - Handle your business.

2012-05-12T20:04:00.001-07:00

I want to talk to you a spell. I’m going to tell you about getting married.

I’m not going to hold back and candy coat shit for you.

And at the risk of making my life harder than it needs to be

I’m going to be brutally honest…

I believe in love... but this is the real deal.

ON MARRIAGE:

First, let me say,

I don’t give a flying fuck if:

Women marry women

Men marry men

Women marry men.

Second, let me say...

Love and Marriage

are

TWO DIFFERENT THINGS.

To love someone is infinitely easier than to be married to someone.

Marriage isn’t easy.

And like everything else in life…

If it starts, it will end.

Ps., If you were a player and had game....

Of Course

We want to grow old together, picket fences and porch swings…

at least that’s how it starts.

But

Life is crazy and anything can and will happen.

People die.

People get sickness’.

People leave you.

People cheat on you and stay with you.

People lie, cheat, steal…

It’s our nature…

It’s how we were raised, what we saw growing up,

It’s what we now consider normal.

Sorry to drop that on you like that but it’s real.

See: http://askthebadman.blogspot.com/2011/01/importance-of-being-real.html

The truth is that people are selfish by nature and want little more than to enjoy themselves.

As long as that enjoyment comes from you towards yours and yours towards you, you’re good.

Romantically speaking,

We would all love it if the words, “Till death do us part” were in some way seriously enforceable

… or at least really meant just that.

But lets face it.

Realistically, marriage is a business deal. And at the end of the day, the contract is the same.

Yes, I said contract.

Marriage is, at the end of the day, a business.

When you get married, you sign a contract.

Your life is no longer “Single Proprietorship” it is now a “Partnership”

And yes, that contract is enforceable by law.

Congratulations!!! Your love is now a legal union….

That, young one, means that marriage… is a JOB.

By definition: mar·riage noun \ˈmer-ij, ˈma-rij\

Marriage is a social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship.

It is an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged in a variety of ways, depending on the culture or subculture in which it is found. Such a union, often formalized via a wedding ceremony, may also be called matrimony.

(Thanks Wikipedia.)

Marriage is also something that is not NATURAL to do…

That means you have to WANT to do it.

So Who Marries?

People marry for many reasons, including one or more of the following:

Legal, social, libido, emotional, economical, spiritual, and religious.

These might include:

Arranged marriages

Family obligations

The legal establishment of a Nuclear Family Unit

The legal protection of children and public declaration of commitment

(I’m no judge, so I will keep my thoughts to myself about how or why others get married.

I can only speak for myself and share my own madness.)

The act of marriage usually creates normative or legal obligations between the individuals involved. In some societies these obligations also extend to certain family members of the married persons.

Not sure how to take that… To me, if you get married, you automatically get the obligations extended to all family members of the married persons.

In cultures that allow the dissolution of a marriage this is known as divorce.

Now this is the part you

MUST KNOW

before you get married.

Marriage is usually recognized by the state, a religious authority, or both. It is often viewed as a contract. Civil marriage is the legal concept of marriage as a governmental institution irrespective of religious affiliation, in accordance with marriage laws of the jurisdiction.

That means your marriage runs according to the laws of the city, county

or state that you were married in.

It also means that you don’t actually have to marry to be married.

Common-law marriage

In some jurisdictions but not all, marriage relationships may be created by the operation of the law alone. Unlike the typical ceremonial marriage with legal contract, wedding ceremony, and other details, a common-law marriage may be called "marriage by habit and repute (cohabitation)." A de facto common-law marriage without a license or ceremony is legally binding in some jurisdictions but has no legal consequence in others.

Did you know??

REALLY?

A marriage bestows rights and obligations on the married parties, and sometimes on relatives as well, being the sole mechanism for the creation of affinal ties (in-laws).

These may include:

Giving a husband/wife or his/her family control over a spouse's sexual services, labor, and property.

Giving a husband/wife responsibility for a spouse's debts.

Giving a husband/wife visitation rights when his/her spouse is incarcerated or hospitalized.

Giving a husband/wife control over his/her spouse's affairs when the spouse is incapacitated.

Establishing the second legal guardian of a parent's child.

Establishing a joint fund of property for the benefit of children.

Establishing a relationship between the families of the spouses.

These rights and obligations vary considerably between societies, and between groups within society.

Does the word “Pre-Nup” come to mind?

People, who come from money or make money before they married, usually have some business savvy in them or in their family and friends. And since a “pre-nup” is a contract and marriage is a business deal. They normally go hand in hand for those with cheese.

For those who didn’t come from money, and those who blindly marry for love, and those who are too young or those who get caught by the gold digger… A “Pre-nup” never seems to involved.

So why the hell would anyone want to get married!?

Well let’s run it down…

Most people get married too early.

Puppy Love - Kids fall in lust and just because the sex is good think they will live like that forever. (Sweet huh?)

Some women feel the need to marry before 40…

News flash: If you’re 30 something and your man loves you, LOVE HIM BACK. That way, none of this will be an issue. Yeah, I’m sure it’s about the ceremony and keeping up with your friends and not feeling like a spinster. But the news is the same old news… If your man loves you, love him back. You’ll get your ceremony, your friends will envy you and you won’t grow old alone.

Some marry for money (See above re: rights and obligations.)

Guys marry after getting a girl pregnant…

Dumbass - For the getting the girl pregnant.

Good man for taking responsibility, but this is not the preferred way to start a family.

(In case you’re wondering, yes. I am married.

I am a businessman. I am a business, man.)

And Why Not

People actually say, “We been together so long, it just made sense…”

For a Green Card

Normally there’s some money involved not love, Gaining citizenship anywhere new is a bitch. But marrying for a green card to help someone get a green card is NOT a good idea.

Love

It’s true! Some people are actually really, truly, deeply, madly, in-love with one another

… when they get married.

See: http://askthebadman.blogspot.com/2010/08/love-bad-mans-point-of-view.html

Marriage ceremonies are different from wedding to wedding and culture to culture… but marriage. That bonding agreement between two people is pretty much the same, no matter where you go.

Now what?

Now you try to keep it together.

But what could possibly go wrong?

Money?

You may not marry for money, but money will always be an issue. I will tell you from experience; If you have no say in the financial matters of your business, then 100% you are getting screwed financially in your business.

Children?

I love kids, especially my own, but kids require a new level of patience… Most of the time it’s not the kids who end the marriage, it the way the parents treat the children.

Hint: Want your marriage strong enough to last with kids?

Put your spouse before your children and never put the children between the two of you in bed…

In-laws?

They don’t truly like you. I say this because blood is thicker than water.

When shit goes down, the in-laws walk with the other side.

Step-kids?

Firstly, I don’t believe in the word “Step” I you marry someone with kids; those kids are yours now too!

(Remember the line about, “For better or for worse”?)

The Stall.

GREAT!! What the FUCK is the stall?

When you walk by each other and purposely don’t touch…

When you don’t laugh anymore…

When the passion is gone…

When you start looking for something (someone) new to inspire you…

When you’re too busy (doing nothing really) to be with your partner…

When you’re bored with each other…

When the grass is greener…

When your marriage is no longer a partnership…

See: http://askthebadman.blogspot.com/2011/01/how-to-fuck-up-your-realtationship.html

The Breakdown.

Top reasons why American women said they'd gotten divorced –

Communication problems (69.7 percent);

unhappiness (59.9 percent);

incompatible with spouse (56.4 percent);

emotional abuse (55.5 percent);

financial problems (32.9 percent);

sexual problems (32.1 percent);

spouse's alcohol abuse (30.0 percent);

spousal infidelity (25.2 percent);

Physical abuse (21.7 percent)

Top reasons why American men said they'd gotten divorced –

Communication problems (59.3 percent);

incompatible with spouse (44.7 percent);

unhappiness (46.9 percent);

emotional abuse (24.7 percent);

financial problems (28.7 percent);

Sexual problems (30.2 percent).

Can it be fixed?

Hell yeah it can be!

I said I believe in love.

Flip everything you just read…

Don’t do that shit or be with someone who does that shit to you.

That’s how you fix it!

What if it can’t be fixed?

If for whatever reasons you even remotely feel like your marriage is broken and you want to fix it…

Before you argue about it anymore, fill out divorce papers.

Yeah.

COMPLETELY fill out divorce papers. DO NOT FILE THEM, (yet).

But the minute you feel like your marriage fucked, fill them out.

You will see just how sickening divorce is and be forced to deal with the reality

of where you are in your partnership.

After that, be real with yourself.

Live your truth and above all, don’t just toss it away.

Try to see where the problem is

… Maybe it’s you.

So what’s it all about?

MARRIAGE.

Truth be told?

I’d say that if your intention is to start a family, then make sure you have the right business partner

for your soon to be corporation, then go for it!

Go 50-50 in all information and always credit each other for your successes,

be each others best friend and you will be golden.

Once you have kids, share the children but do not share each other…

Keep the two of you tight with the kids holding on…

Sounds wrong but I assure you it’s right.

Tell each other the truth, no matter how much it hurts and you will avoid the ultimate hurt of living a lie.

That’s not what partners do and in the end the lie is never worth the pain.

See: http://askthebadman.blogspot.com/2011/02/say-what-you-mean-mean-what-you-say.html

Bottom Line.

Marriage is a business.

Handle your business honestly and fairly and with love.

No one starts a business to remain a small business, so start a family, a corporation..

Be your own versions of Bonnie and Clyde.

When married you ride together and you’d die together.

If you don’t feel that way, don’t get married.

If you don’t feel that way anymore after you’ve been together for a while,

it’s normal and you have to work to get it back.

It is not easy and will get worse before it gets better…

If you know that you are a selfish person,

then know that getting married may not be your bag.

It’s a partnership.

Your life is no longer “Single Proprietorship” it's now a “Partnership”.

Good Luck,

The Bad Man

Ten ways to mess up your relationship...

2012-05-11T22:39:00.000-07:00

"You'll never find anyone like me again!"

I'm thinking, 'I hope the fuck not! If I don't want you,

why would I want someone like you.'

10 Stupid Things Couples do to Mess up Their Relationship

Acording to:

Dr. Laura Schessinger

1. Stupid Secrets:

Withholding important information for fear of rejection.

It’s the struggle against selfishness.

Privacy is something you 'give' out of respect.

Secrecy is when you feel guilty about something you can't tell you partner or spouse.

2. Stupid Egotism:

My freedom/ rights to do what I want are more important than your feeling/ needs

Ask not what you can do for this relationship ask only what this relationship can do for you!

3. Stupid Pettiness:

Make a big deal of the small stuff.

4. Stupid Power:

Never lose an argument

Never sacrifice anything

Always need to be in control

Never let the other forget he or she messed up.

5. Stupid Priorities:

Consuming all your time and energies:

Work

Hobbies

Errands

Chores

Missions

- and an unmade bed has a higher priority than the relationship.

6. Stupid Happiness:

Seeking stimulation and assurance from all the wrong places

To satisfy the immature need to feel good vs.. to be good.

7. Stupid Excuses:

You fight back with excuses, which just cause more damage –learn to apologize.

8. Stupid Liaisons:

Staying attached to relatives and friends who are outright bad influence

and destructive to your relationship

–allowing these folks to hurt your partner.

9. Stupid Mismatch:

Seeing red flags clearly and yet you stay around trying to put a square peg in a round hole

–not knowing when to leave and cut your losses.

10.Stupid Breakups:

Disconnecting for all the wrong reasons.

You forgot being whinny, needy, negative attitude, anger issues and just being plain loco.

If I were you?

I’d get a sense of humor real quick!

Try seeing it like this…

I know, but try….

Hey, People change… and forget to tell each other.

Sometimes you have to get to know someone really well

to realize you're really strangers.

You cannot be lonely

you like the person you're alone with.

I've learned that people will forget what you said,

people will forget what you did,

But people will never forget how you made them feel.

Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

Bottom line?

I love you and because I love you
I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth

than adore me for telling you lies.

Sincerely,

The Bad Man

The 48 Laws of Power - Cheat sheet

2012-05-09T01:58:00.002-07:00

The 48 Laws of Power

by Robert Greene and Joost Elffers

Abbreviated Version By Me...

Law 1 - Never Outshine the Master

Always make those above you feel comfortably superior.

Law 2 - Never put too Much Trust in Friends, Learn how to use Enemies

Be wary of friends-they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy.

Law 3 - Conceal your Intentions

Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. I

Law 4 - Always Say Less than Necessary

When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control.

Law 5 - So Much Depends on Reputation – Guard it with your Life

Reputation is the cornerstone of power.

Law 6 - Court Attention at all Cost

Everything is judged by its appearance; what is unseen counts for nothing.

Law 7 - Get others to do the Work for you, but Always Take the Credit

Use the wisdom, knowledge, and legwork of other people to further your own cause.

Law 8 - Make other People come to you – use Bait if Necessary

When you force the other person to act, you are the one in control.

Law 9 - Win through your Actions, Never through Argument

It is much more powerful to get others to agree with you through your actions, without saying a word. Demonstrate, do not explicate.

Law 10 - Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky

You can die from someone else’s misery – emotional states are as infectious as disease.

Law 11 - Learn to Keep People Dependent on You

To maintain your independence you must always be needed and wanted.

Law 12 - Use Selective Honesty and Generosity to Disarm your Victim

One sincere and honest move will cover over dozens of dishonest ones.

Law 13 - When Asking for Help, Appeal to People’s Self-Interest, Never to their Mercy or Gratitude

If you need to turn to an ally for help, do not bother to remind him of your past assistance and good deeds.

Law 14 - Pose as a Friend, Work as a Spy

Knowing about your rival is critical.

Law 15 - Crush your Enemy Totally

All great leaders since Moses have known that a feared enemy must be crushed completely.

Law 16 - Use Absence to Increase Respect and Honor

Too much circulation makes the price go down:

Law 17 - Keep Others in Suspended Terror: Cultivate an Air of Unpredictability

Humans are creatures of habit with an insatiable need to see familiarity in other people’s actions.

Law 18 - Do Not Build Fortresses to Protect Yourself – Isolation is Dangerous

The world is dangerous and enemies are everywhere – everyone has to protect themselves.

Law 19 - Know Who You’re Dealing with – Do Not Offend the Wrong Person

There are many different kinds of people in the world, and you can never assume that everyone will react to your strategies in the same way.

Law 20 - Do Not Commit to Anyone

It is the fool who always rushes to take sides.

Law 21 - Play a Sucker to Catch a Sucker – Seem Dumber than your Mark

No one likes feeling stupider than the next persons. The trick, is to make your victims feel smart – and not just smart, but smarter than you are.

Law 22 - Use the Surrender Tactic: Transform Weakness into Power

When you are weaker, never fight for honor’s sake; choose surrender instead.

Law 23 - Concentrate Your Forces

Conserve your forces and energies by keeping them concentrated at their strongest point.

Law 24 - Play the Perfect Courtier

The perfect courtier thrives in a world where everything revolves around power and political dexterity.

Law 25 - Re-Create Yourself

Do not accept the roles that society foists on you.

Law 26 - Keep Your Hands Clean

You must seem a paragon of civility and efficiency: Your hands are never soiled by mistakes and nasty deeds.

Law 27 - Play on People’s Need to Believe to Create a Cultlike Following

People have an overwhelming desire to believe in something.

Law 28 - Enter Action with Boldness

If you are unsure of a course of action, do not attempt it. Your doubts and hesitations will infect your execution.

Law 29 - Plan All the Way to the End

The ending is everything. Plan all the way to it, taking into account all the possible consequences, obstacles, and twists of fortune that might reverse your hard work and give the glory to others.

Law 30 - Make your Accomplishments Seem Effortless

Your actions must seem natural and executed with ease.

Law 31 - Control the Options: Get Others to Play with the Cards you Deal

Give people options that come out in your favor whichever one they choose.

Law 32 - Play to People’s Fantasies

The truth is often avoided because it is ugly and unpleasant. Never appeal to truth and reality unless you are prepared for the anger that comes for disenchantment.

Law 33 - Discover Each Man’s Thumbscrew

Everyone has a weakness, a gap in the castle wall.

Law 34 - Be Royal in your Own Fashion: Act like a King to be treated like one

The way you carry yourself will often determine how you are treated.

Law 35 - Master the Art of Timing

Never seem to be in a hurry – hurrying betrays a lack of control over yourself, and over time.

Law 36 - Disdain Things you cannot have: Ignoring them is the best Revenge

By acknowledging a petty problem you give it existence and credibility.

Law 37 - Create Compelling Spectacles

Striking imagery and grand symbolic gestures create the aura of power – everyone responds to them.

Law 38 - Think as you like but Behave like others

If you make a show of going against the times, flaunting your unconventional ideas and unorthodox ways, people will think that you only want attention and that you look down upon them.

Law 39 - Stir up Waters to Catch Fish

Anger and emotion are strategically counterproductive. You must always stay calm and objective. But if you can make your enemies angry while staying calm yourself, you gain a decided advantage.

Law 40 - Despise the Free Lunch

What is offered for free is dangerous – it usually involves either a trick or a hidden obligation.

Law 41 - Avoid Stepping into a Great Man’s Shoes

What happens first always appears better and more original than what comes after.

Law 42 - Strike the Shepherd and the Sheep will Scatter

Trouble can often be traced to a single strong individual – the stirrer, the arrogant underling, the poisoned of goodwill.

Law 43 - Work on the Hearts and Minds of Others

Coercion creates a reaction that will eventually work against you. You must seduce others into wanting to move in your direction.

Law 44 - Disarm and Infuriate with the Mirror Effect

The mirror reflects reality, but it is also the perfect tool for deception: When you mirror your enemies, doing exactly as they do, they cannot figure out your strategy.

Law 45 - Preach the Need for Change, but Never Reform too much at Once

Everyone understands the need for change in the abstract, but on the day-to-day level people are creatures of habit.

Law 46 - Never appear too Perfect

Appearing better than others is always dangerous, but most dangerous of all is to appear to have no faults or weaknesses. Envy creates silent enemies.

Law 47 - Do not go Past the Mark you Aimed for; In Victory, Learn when to Stop

The moment of victory is often the moment of greatest peril. In the heat of victory, arrogance and overconfidence can push you past the goal you had aimed for, and by going too far, you make more enemies than you defeat. Do not allow success to go to your head. There is no substitute for strategy and careful planning. Set a goal, and when you reach it, stop.

Law 48 - Assume Formlessness

Instead of taking a form for your enemy to grasp, keep yourself adaptable and on the move. Accept the fact that nothing is certain and no law is fixed. The best way to protect yourself is to be as fluid and formless as water; never bet on stability or lasting order. Everything changes.

Be true to... Yourself!

2012-04-06T23:45:00.000-07:00

The Importance of Being Real.

Fake Personas

Ever since we were kids, we’ve been looking outside of ourselves... for what?

Heroes. Idols. Role Models..

Someone to be other than who we are.

Some of us try to "Keep it real"

We see people come and people go.
We see people change right in front of our eyes.
We see people pretend to be something, someone they are truly, truly not.

Socially, we naturally tend gravitate to those who influence us somehow.

Sometimes it’s a good influence, sometimes it’s a bad influence…

But the influence makes us feel different about ourselves.

Don't get me wrong, The Bad Man will play the games..

But I know it's just games. The shit is NOT real...

And it is NOT-FULL-FUCKING-TIME!

Sometimes, influences take us away from who we are,
we adopt the idea of being like someone else
anyone else other that who we are.

Then we try to make this new persona our real life.
Why? Well, because life is hard and sometimes we just want to be somebody different..

It's "The Facade"

The equivalent to living a lie, no one can see who you are.

many put on facades just to impress others.

But here's the catch...

People can see through us when we are not being true to ourselves... pretty easily.

Try this.... Accept who you are.
Know that you are good enough for anybody and anything

You don’t have to change shit about who you are for anyone... Ever.

People who come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Be true to yourself.

Take off the mask.

Why would anyone create a fake persona?

Fear.

.... fear that we won't be valued for who we really are

.... fear that we'll be hurt if we put our real selves out there
.... fear of what people will think if we're not what they think we should be
.... fear of not fitting into societal norms
.... fear of not being good enough, worthy enough
.... fear that we need to MO'

mo' this,

mo' that,

mo' something

or we'll be less... of everything.

Fake personas cause a lot of suffering for the person who's not being real.

It takes massive amounts of energy to hold that fake shit together.

And eventually... you're fucked. The true shit begins to show.

Damn.

Options?

Try to be spiritual, positive, or non-judgmental. Better to be flawed, human, and who you are, than to be some shit that just isn't real.
Be nice. Take the pressure off yourself and apply that energy towards helping others in need.
Stop playing roles that take over your real person. Just be you.
Projecting the image to friends and family of being the perfect couple, wife, husband, father, mother, daughter, son, etc.... is BULLSHIT!
Being what parents or spouses want, or anyone else wants you to be.... is BULLSHIT! Do you.
Acting like all the other kids... BULLSHIT!
Being over-sexy, or too caught up in being perfectly beautiful or handsome, thinking that's what's necessary to attract the opposite sex... Unless that's how you make your bread Boo-boo it's... BULLSHIT!

People trying to relate to the fake persona will get a sense that something ain't right.
That gut feeling of mistrust.

The longer you fake it, the more you hurt the ones who believed in you.

And that is a bitch ass thing to do.

Sincerely,

The Bad Man

Bro Code: Revisited...

2012-03-26T23:47:00.000-07:00

For Those of you who don’t know, The Bro Code is not only something that should be considered, unspoken gospel between guys, Fraternity Brothers, young men and or single older men, it is… (Wait for it) … A book.

Yes, a book.

Published on October 14th, 2008 by Fireside Publishing, it is paperback, 208 pages in length, the isbn# is 143911000X (isbn13: 9781439110003) and the Description goes as follows:

“Everyone's life is governed by an internal code of conduct. Some call it morality. Others call it religion. But Bros in the know call this holy grail: the Bro Code. Historically, a spoken tradition passed from one generation to the next, the official code of conduct for Bros appears here in its published form for the first time ever. By upholding the tenets of this sacred and legendary document, any dude can learn to achieve Bro-dom.”

It is by Barney Stinson

Yes. That Barney Stinson…

AKA Neil Patrick Harris of “How I Met Your Mother” fame. You can catch this show weekly on your local CBS network.

Before I go any further, let me just say; I am a fan of this book and of the television show. The show being a guilty pleasure, the book being a much needed guide for you young men. (I'm not saying it's right, but at least it's a start.)

That said, I must offer amendments to the book of "Bro Codes".

These amendments are for those of us who are either married or over forty. Why you ask? Easy. If you are married there are some Bro Codes that simply no longer apply and if you're over fourty and still follow the Bro Codes, Dude, you really need to figure your shit out. For instance,

Article 1: Bros before Hoes…

The Bad Man thinks like this, “Once you’re married, it’s wifey first”. Otherwise you have screwed up your marriage right off the bat. (See my blogs re: Jesse James & Tiger Woods)

Single Bad Men, if you are over 40 and still follow this rule, then you are most likely in prison because you have no real life. (Of course there are the rare exceptions... Monks, martial arts masters and George Clooney)

There are 150 articles (rules) in the Bro Code. I will only amend the ones that apply to married men and those of us over 40 years of age. And being that there are 150, I will only do 10 at a time. The reason being that the attention span of any Bad Man will not allow anything over 10 of anything unless it is money… With money involved, The Bad Man becomes infinitely limitless.

Article 1: Bro's before Ho's
(Not to repeat myself, but this must be repeated…)

Married men, it’s wifey first. Otherwise you have screwed up your marriage right off the bat and you are a dumbass.

-If you are single and over 40 and still follow this rule, then you are most likely in prison because you have no real life. (Of course there are the rare exceptions... Monks, martial arts masters and George Clooney)

Article 2: A Bro is always entitled to do something stupid, as long as the rest of his Bros are doing it.

Married men, if your associates (your Bros) are doing something stupid, you must immediately leave and get the details another time over drinks at the nearest dive bar.
And, while you are allowed to live vicariously through your associates, you cannot wish it were you.

-If you are single and over 40 and your comrade’s (boys) are doing something stupid, you are only entitled watch and in some cases work the video camera.
Physical contact equates to you being a “Dirty Old Man”, being guilty and in certain situations the unwanted presents of leftover DNA evidence. Don't trip.

Article 3: If a Bro gets a dog, it must be at least as tall as his knee when full-grown

No Doubt. Just plain true.

Article 4: A Bro never divulges the Bro Code to a woman. It is a scared document not to be shared with chicks for any reason...no not even that reason. Done and done.

When pressured to give up the info, just smile and keep your trap shut! The penalty is loosing your Bro card and forever being recognized as a "Douche". Just nut up and shut up.

(Note from book not The Bad Man)
NOTE: If you are a woman reading this, first let me apologize: it was never my intention for this book to contain so much math. Second, I urge you to look at this document for what it is-a piece of fiction meant to entertain a broad audience through the prism of stereotypical gender differences. I mean, sometimes it really is like we're from different planets! Clearly, no real person would actually believe, or adhere to the vulgar rules contained within. * ps. Those boots are adorable…

*Psst - guys I put this in really small type at the bottom since we all know men have much better vision than women. Ignore the above note -the Bro Code is definitely NOT a piece of fiction. I was simply lying to uphold this very article.

Article 5: Whether he cares about sports or not… A Bro cares about sports.

Bad Men don’t hang with anyone who doesn’t care about sports. The amendment would be that you don’t either. If someone thinks ESPN is knowing shit before shit happens, you must abort the acquaintance. Stat.

Article 6: A Bro shall not lollygag if he must get naked in front of other Bros in a gym locker room

Agreed. Lollygagging makes things award for all and only leads to you being the brunt of lil’ dick jokes. Not lollygagging means you know, “ It’s not the wand, it’s the magician”… Even if you do have “a lil’ dick.”

Article 7: A Bro never admits he can't drive stick. Even after an accident.

Please, for the sake of all men everywhere, also know how to change a tire and jump start your ride.

Article 8: A Bro never sends a greeting card to another Bro.

What are those?

Article 9: Should a Bro lose a body part due to an accident or illness, his fellow Bros will not make lame jokes such as "Gimmee three!" or "Wow, quitting your job like that really took a lot of ball". Its still a high five and that Bro still has a lot of balls...metaphorically speaking of course. 

Bad Men will never act like assholes. We will, however, defend those less fortunate by putting our foot up in one when necessary.

Article 10. A bro will drop whatever he is doing and rush to help his bro dump a chick. It’s normal for a bro to get confused and disoriented when dumping a chick. For some reason he is worried she will become agitated or even violent after he calmly explains his desire to hook up with her friends. This is when a bro most needs his bro to remind him that there are plenty of chicks in the ocean and that a breakup need not be hazardous, stressful or even time- consuming. How to dump a chick in 6 words or less...

- “Maybe try a side salad instead."   
- “Cute!! You ‘re growing a moustache too!!"   
- “She looks like a younger you!!"   
- “I will finance a boob job."   
- “Sorry I threw your shoes out."   
- “Your sister let me do that!!"

Bad Men will completely be there to aid in “Bad Relationship Jail Breaks”.
And will use lines like:

“Your last chick was hotter.”
“You get what you settle for.”
And looking her over once, just say, “Really?"

To name a few things that one may want to add to the short list of things to say that will inspire a quick parting of ways...

That does it for Bro Code Amendments 1-10. The rest will follow in due time. Till then...

Good luck,
Sincerely,

The Bad Man.

Err on the side of Justice.

2012-03-22T13:20:00.000-07:00

State of Florida...

You need to change your gun laws.

Would the Neighborhood Watch

Shoot me

too?

I think Yes.

We all have the right to defend ourselves,

but there is the issue of competency...

Not everyone is competent,

or for that matter... stable.

The police department did not adequately handle the fatal shooting last month of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin.

Martin was shot February 26 while walking to the house of his father's fiancee after a trip to a convenience store. George Zimmerman, a neighborhood watch leader, said he shot the 17-year-old in self-defense.

Zimmerman has not been arrested. Police say they have not charged Zimmerman because they have no evidence to contradict his story that he shot in self-defense, leading to a new debate over a controversial state law.

(And now you know why I say, "If you're gonna shoot someone, make sure you kill them." That way there is only one side of the story...)

Florida's deadly force law, also called "stand your ground," allows people to meet "force with force" if they believe that there is danger of serious harm to themselves or someone else. - CNN

I'm not a fan of "Stand your ground"

I would much prefer to see a:

"Keep your distance"

"Don't touch my shit"

and

"Get the fuck outta my house".

But even if it were me that killed someone in "self defense",

I would expect there to be at least a trial...

For no other reason than to determine my competency.

To say there are no witness' is ridiculous.

There are always witness'.

Character Witness', physical evidence and background checks

... Start there.

There should be a trial.

The trial should be for Murder.

You can't just kill someone and walk.

If there is an Err,

Let the Err be on the side of Justice.

Sincerely,

The Bad Man

Valentines Day

2012-02-14T00:44:00.000-08:00

Love ain't easy. Love is Necessary.

Have a nice day,

The Bad Man.

A Sexy Year of the Dragon - 2012

2012-01-24T23:36:00.000-08:00

The Chinese dragon is (to some) a symbol of imperial power. One legend tells the tale of a peasant born with a dragon birthmark who eventually overthrows the existing dynasty and founds a new one.

So this year, when you do things, do them "Dragon Style".

Cheers and Happy New Year!

The Bad Man

There are no excuses.

2012-01-17T11:27:00.001-08:00

A good bitch-smack

2012-01-15T14:44:00.000-08:00

If you have to strike someone, do it open with an open hand not a fist. It's the difference between assault and a good bitch-smack...

It sends the message... Bitch, you better get my money!

If you have the time, add baby powder to your palm for the cloud of smoke effect as smack is being applied...

Bad Man Wisdom - 101

2012-01-04T11:05:00.000-08:00

When someone shows you who they are...
Believe them.

Anal + Straight to Anal = Strainal

2011-12-22T14:24:00.001-08:00

What a great word!

STRAINAL pronounced: " Stray-Nal "

Meaning: Straight to anal.

A. Sex: To have anal sexual penetration before any other sexual penetration occurs.

Example: We went to her place and as soon as I closed the door, she had bent over and lifted her dress!! She wanted Strainal, so I obliged!

B. Emotional: To go from a pleasant emotional state to an anxiety filled and aggravating state in an instant.

Example: While Xmas shopping, some asshole swept in front of me and stole my parking space... I went Strainal on them in a heartbeat. My day was wrecked.

This is one we have to face as well... We all go Strainal mentally at some point or another. Like when I wake up to people screaming shouting... I go Strainal before I even open my eyes...

C. Political: Sara Palin.

Example: Sara Palin.

Pick any politician really.

This word is awesome!! I'm sure if you thought about it, not even too hard, you would find other ways to use the word "Strainal" in your day to day life!

And let's face it, going Strainal is an actual form of birth control. I've never heard of pregnancy occurring that way. It doesn't surprise me at all that anal sex would be preferred by a woman who either doesn't want to get pregnant or want to preserve her virginity.

Do it!!

Enjoy!!
The Bad Man

Ask the Bad Man

Don't be a Pussy.

Having Balls.

How to Survive Jury Duty.

The “REAL” Pimp Game - Repost

America's Gun Control

Love... Actually.

Happy Motherfucking Christmas

He cussed out the elves and threw down his list. Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks. I have a good mind to scrap the fucking whole works! I've busted my ass for damn near a year, Instead of "Thanks Santa"-- this bullshit I hear?

The old lady bitches cause I work late at night. The elves want more money. (Suck it.) The reindeer all fight. Rudolph got drunk and banged all the maids. Donner is pregnant (again) and Vixen has AIDS. And just when I thought that things would get better...

I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season! Happy Gotdamn Holidays! Cheers! The BadMan

Countdown to Armageddon... Last Call revisited

I don't remember a thing...

Bad Man 101

Presenting... ChickieX

Love. Sex. Fucking.

Be A Man

Marriage is a Business Deal - Handle your business.

Ten ways to mess up your relationship...

The 48 Laws of Power - Cheat sheet

The 48 Laws of Power

Be true to... Yourself!

The Importance of Being Real.

Bro Code: Revisited...

Err on the side of Justice.

Valentines Day

A Sexy Year of the Dragon - 2012

There are no excuses.

A good bitch-smack

Bad Man Wisdom - 101

Anal + Straight to Anal = Strainal

He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.

Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.

I have a good mind to scrap the fucking whole works!

I've busted my ass for damn near a year,

Instead of "Thanks Santa"-- this bullshit I hear?

The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.

The elves want more money. (Suck it.)

The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and banged all the maids.

Donner is pregnant (again) and Vixen has AIDS.

And just when I thought that things would get better...

I found me a blonde.

I'm going SOUTH for the season!

Happy Gotdamn Holidays!

Cheers!

The BadMan