Ask The Captain

Cap'n Meryl taking a London cab for a spin.

Cap'n Meryl — Wed, 23 Mar 2005 13:30:00 PST

Posted by Hello

Cap'n Meryl's Musical Debut

Cap'n Meryl — Wed, 23 Mar 2005 13:28:00 PST

FROM CAP’N MERYL

Link to this week’s column at USAToday.com/travel:

http://www.usatoday.com/travel/columnist/getline/2005-03-21-ask-the-captain_x.htm

Cap’n Meryl’s Musical Debut

For some reason, the past couple of weeks in
particular, I’ve had a few dozen people write to
me, telling me they had finally listened to the
audio clip on my book page and as a result ordered
“The World At My Feet.”

Whether or not you’ve read my book, this clip is
worth listening to. It’s about 7 ½ minutes long
and is a REALLY funny excerpt from a radio
interview I did in 1983, before I was with my
current airline. It has to do with a run-in I once
had with the Goodyear Blimp when I was a military
air traffic controller.

There were four hours of interviews (two two-hour
shows) which I have now edited down to about 2 1/2
hours, cleaned up with all the commercials
deleted. Here is a link to the page with the
audio excerpt:
http://www.fromthecockpit.com/book.htm

I’ve unexpectedly had several requests by readers
wanting to buy the entire interview, so Al, the
Web Guy and in-house Technical Specialist, has
been busy transferring all my old cassette tapes
to CD’s.

I was thrilled that the first request for these
interviews came from a gentleman in Vienna—one of
my favorite cities in the world. I added a CD of
music—-some commercials and songs I wrote and
performed—-as a bonus, although I suppose that’s a
matter of opinion; I can think of another word,
such as “punishment,” but I’ll let listeners
decide for themselves.

So it’s a total of four CD’s including the edited
radio interviews plus three commercials and three
songs I recorded while living in Anchorage in the
early 80’s. I’m not much of a singer but I can
certainly carry a tune and the point of the three
songs is that each was written based upon actual
life experiences (as many songs presumably are).

All the musical numbers, including two of the
commercials, were played by a group known as “The
Me, Myself & I Orchestra and Choir.” Clever,
don’t you think? Every track is my voice or a
guitar, keyboard or mandolin part.

I’m not actually in one of the commercials, but
Al, the Web Guy and Senior Executive
Vice-President in Charge of Absolutely Everything,
insisted I include it as I wrote and directed it,
and it won a writer’s award. All three
commercials are only 30 seconds long.

The first song is called “The Boat Song” and is a
sort of lullaby or folk tune with one guitar part
(all guitar parts in these songs was on my twelve
string) and a three part harmony. There are two
mandolin parts as well, using a really cheap,
never completely in-tune one I bought in Russia.
The radio talk-show host who did these interviews
became a close friend and I went out on his
houseboat many times on the Prince William Sound
in Alaska. The song was written with him and his
love affair with his boat in mind. In the early
eighties, when I wrote this song, I had to record
it several times over, each time adding a track:
There are three voice parts, a guitar and two
mandolin parts for this song.

The second song is called “Far Away From Home,”
partly written in the early seventies on a Russian
train ride after all the drunken Red Army soldiers
finally passed out (if you haven’t read my book,
see what you’re missing?) It’s a solo voice part
plus guitar and a duet played on the same REALLY
cheap mandolin which, incidentally, I bought in a
Russian “Beriozhka Shop” which basically means
“Dollar Store.” That should tell you something
right there. Not quite in tune, but just all part
of the “charm.” (“Charm” is the word I’ve decided
to use.) On the train itself, as I was writing the
song, I used one of the balalaikas I had just
bought, the ones I referred to in the book as
“dead bodies” to the humorless East German Border
Boys as I was crossing from East to West Berlin on
foot in the middle of a winter night. The
balalaikas were “dressed” in my clothes to save
room in my suitcase.

By the way, this seems like as good a time as any
to put in this interesting note: When I moved a
year or so ago, I was going through some old boxes
of stuff and came across the Russian red star
emblem that was given to my by the young Russian
soldier in this chapter (“A Very Red Army”).
Picture the drab Red Army uniform complete with
the red star in the middle of the winter hat.
That’s the star I’m talking about. It now sits on
the fireplace mantle in my living room.

The third song is called “Alaska Nights” and is
included in the radio interview itself toward the
very end, but I’ve added a slightly better quality
version on the music CD. It’ my voice in a
three-part harmony accompanied by a two-part
guitar part played on a twelve-string guitar. The
song is about the Northern Lights, written on a
flight between the North Slope (northern coast) of
Alaska and Anchorage after I had witnessed a
gorgeous display of lights for the first time
since moving to Alaska. I knelt beneath the
Arctic sky on the snow-covered tundra during a
short layover at Deadhorse, Alaska, which is an
oil camp. With nothing but the vast expanse of
snow as far as I could see, I witnessed my first
Alaskan “light-show” and the song easily came to
me on the flight home. That’s one advantage of
being a hopeless romantic—lyrics and music just
write themselves.

I would have liked to re-record all these songs
but at present I don’t have the equipment to do
it, and besides, devastatingly, both my six and
twelve string guitars were stolen from a storage
facility just before I moved about a year ago. I
haven’t yet replaced them.

If you have any interest in ordering this CD set
click here:
www.fromthecockpit.com/CD_Order.html
There is a money-back guarantee so if you receive
it and want to return it—you may do so.

The radio interviews received the highest ratings
in the history of that talk-show, which was in
existence for many, many years. I am still in
contact with the now-retired talk-show host, Herb
Shaindlin, and in fact just spoke with him by
phone about getting the necessary copyright
release to produce these CD’s. Herb, a New
Yorker, is in my book, too, with reference to his
“I gotta have a Nathan’s Hot Dog or I’m gonna die”
phase. I wound up hopping a ride on a cargo B-747
from Anchorage to New York to go get him his hot
dogs to shut him up. It was well worth the trip,
I must say.

And that’s my news. No flights this week as I’m on
assigned vacation days again, but I never work
harder than when I have “time off.” Taking a
flight somewhere—-now THAT sounds like fun! By
the time my next Weekly Update rolls around, I’ll
have taken some flights almost for sure. But
where?

Until Next Time,
Maintain Airpseed!
Cap’n Meryl

Cap'n Meryl's new Book

Cap'n Meryl — Tue, 15 Mar 2005 12:36:00 PST

FROM CAP’N MERYL

Link to this week’s column at USAToday.com/travel:

http://www.usatoday.com/travel/columnist/getline/2005-03-14-ask-the-captain_x.htm

Cap’ Meryl’s New Book!

I’m happy to report that I’ve reached an agreement
with a major New York publisher regarding a new
book. When I went to New York a week or so ago to
meet with my agent and some publishers, the goal
was to get my first book “The World At My Feet”
re-released by a major publishing house. “The
World At My Feet” was first released by the Lorrie
Press, which I own, making it an independently
published book.

Although it continues to sell very well through my
website www.fromthecockpit.com, through Amazon.com
and other online book outlets, and through
numerous airport and other bookstores, I wanted to
see it go into mass distribution. This really
needs to be handled by a mainstream publisher.

The result of these meetings was somewhat
unexpected. Every publisher I met said pretty much
the same thing, that they loved “The World At My
Feet” but would have liked to see their own
editing touches, and didn’t want it to end just as
I was getting to my current airline (which to this
day prefers not to be named in pieces like this).

For those of you who have not read it, this is not
the story of my life as an airline pilot. Rather,
it’s the story of how I got to my current airline,
combating what seemed like insurmountable
obstacles like airsickness, discrimination,
limited military flight training open to women at
the time, etc. There are funny (and traumatic)
stories along the way.

If you haven’t yet read it, you may order it by
proceeding to www.fromthecockpit.com and clicking
on the picture of the book at the bottom of the
Home Page. Put “Subcriber’s Special – Free
Shipping” in the comments section when you order,
or tell the person taking the order if you use the
toll-free order line. That’ll save you almost
five dollars.

One publisher offered a solution which I didn’t
anticipate, but I like it for several reasons.
The solution is that they have contracted with me
to write a new book which will include elements of
“The World At My Feet,” but will keep going to
include life at my current airline instead of
stopping right when I got hired.

This is good for me for several reasons. “The
World At My Feet” still belongs to me along with
all marketing rights. This new book is, in
effect, already partly written. Some of my Weekly
Updates will be tapped for content, as well as
some of the ideas from my “Ask The Captain” column
over at USAToday.com. Also, there were some
chapters omitted from “The World At My Feet” like
one called “Cookie Run,” having to do with how I
came to have the opportunity to play the Mormon
Tabernacle Organ even though I’m not an organist
and not a Mormon.

The new book will amount to a sequel of sorts, and
if not a true sequel, close enough. Many readers
have written asking me to continue my story to the
present day, and it looks like they will get their
wish.

My publisher, which I prefer to not name just yet
(I’m a little concerned, with all the people
quizzing me about getting their own books to
press, about creating an unwanted flood of
inquiries to them), is wonderful. My editor
already seems like a very close friend and I can’t
wait to get started. Publication is slated for
June 2006.

People, including my new editor, want to know when
I’ll possibly have time to write a new book as my
schedule seems so cram-packed. The fact is, on
long international flights we have breaks of
several hours during which we’re free to eat,
sleep, watch movies, eat, read, eat some more, or
whatever. I plan on doing some eating, too. Did I
mention that? I like the food on international
flights. Actually, I just like food.

I’ll write this new book during my breaks and also
on layovers. Very little of “The World At My
Feet” was written at home.

To change the subject, yesterday I spoke to the
Denver Metro Mortar Board Alumni Group here in
Denver. I can’t believe I didn’t think to mention
it to this group, but it was held at the Sheraton
Four Points here in Denver, which used to be known
as the Cherry Creek Inn and was owned by my
airline for many years. I stayed at this hotel
for a month during my initial airline training
twenty years ago.

I always preface my speeches by saying I really
don’t give speeches or talks. What I do is have
very one-sided conversations, like I’m telling a
story to a group of people gathered in my home.
My point, and I do have one, is that I’m a very
informal speaker. I enjoy doing them but I accept
very few invitations do to my already cram-packed
schedule.

Al, the Web Guy, was, as always, at my side,
schlepping books for me to sign for attendees. My
national speaking fee has risen to several
thousand dollars, but I try to make room for a few
of the local variety at least a few times per
year. Interested groups for paid or free (only
local Denver ones are free)speaking engagements
should proceed to www.fromthecockpit.com and click
on Email The Cap’n for such requests.

I didn’t take any flights this week as,
unbelievably I’m on “Part Two” of my annual
vacation. Our vacation year ends at the end of
March and I had some built up but unused, so I was
assigned another nine days off to use it all up.

Right now, Al, The Web Guy, is hard at work
putting together a CD set containing some very old
interviews which I listened to before writing “The
World At My Feet.” These interviews actually
provided the framework from which I worked, at
least in part.

More about how to buy these recordings next time
around. So...

Until Next Time,
Maintain Airpseed!
Cap’n Meryl

Bit O’ Bavaria

Cap'n Meryl — Wed, 09 Mar 2005 19:13:00 PST

FROM CAP’N MERYL

Link to this week’s column at USAToday.com/travel:

http://www.usatoday.com/travel/columnist/getline/2005-03-07-ask-the-captain_x.htm

Bit O’ Bavaria

This was certainly an interesting week. It
started with a trip to New York to meet my
literary agent for the first time face to face.
Together we visited some major book publishers in
New York to see about getting “The World At My
Feet” picked up for mass distribution. It was an
exciting trip as we visited parts of New York I’d
never seen before. Also, although I’ve ridden the
subway in many parts of the world, including such
cities as Moscow, Paris and London, I’d never
ridden a New York subway. Chalk up another first
for Cap’n Meryl!

Feedback was good so we’ll see if a deal can be
reached or not. No guarantees. I’m still a
first-time (but not a last-time) author and that’s
always a tough sell.

Because our last meeting ran late in the day, I
missed the last flight to Denver and opted to
spend one more night in New York rather than
connect through Chicago after such a long day
running around New York.

By doing this, however, I put myself in the
position of having to fly out again the same day I
arrived home in Denver. My plan was to spend one
night in Denver and fly to Chicago in the morning.
It looked to me like my next assignment would be
an evening flight to Frankfurt from my home base
of Chicago the following day.

However, that trip fell through and the next thing
I knew I appeared to be in line for a trip from
Chicago to Honolulu first thing in the morning,
but too early to arrive in time from Denver even
if I took the first morning flight from Denver to
Chicago.

So I flew from New York to Denver on a Friday
morning, picked up my uniform, packed my bag for
Honolulu, and took off that same night for
Chicago.

In the meantime, things changed again, as they so
often do, and another pilot was assigned to fly
the Honolulu trip. So there I was at a hotel in
Chicago and both the Frankfurt trip and Honolulu
trips were gone—assigned to other reserve
captains.

It looked like I was in for a several-day stay at
my commuter hotel in Chicago as there were simply
no trips which needed to be covered. Remember
that I am speaking as a reserve pilot. We’re the
ones who are on standby all the time to cover
trips for pilots who may call in sick, or for
charters, or for pilots who have received
permission to drop a trip, or whatever. I’m
still very junior on my airplane, and until I gain
some more seniority as older pilots either retire
or switch airplanes, I’m obligated to fly reserve
instead of knowing where I’ll be going a month at
a time.

Actually, other than the fact it can be
inconvenient sometimes to not know what to pack
before heading for Chicago to await assignment, I
kind of like my mixed bag of flying. Sometimes, I
do know before I leave Denver where I’m headed,
but
not always, as was the case this time around.

I needn’t have worried about being stuck in
Chicago and waiting for a trip assignment that
would never come; I was in Chicago for less than
twelve hours when the phone rang and I was asked
to go straight to the airport and jump on the next
plane to Washington, DC, where I would spend the
night. The next day, Sunday, I was to fly the
Munich flight as the captain had called in sick.
Although I am Chicago-based, when other bases run
out of crews they look to other bases to provide
flight crews.

I was thrilled, not because a pilot was sick but
because, truth be told, I had no idea my airline
was still serving Munich in the airplane I fly,
which is the B-777. In fact, I thought we no
longer even flew to Munich. I tend to be wrapped
up in what I do and don’t necessarily keep
completely on top of our entire route structure.
In any case, I was pleasantly surprised.

I actually passed through Munich just a few weeks
ago, as recounted in my piece called “The Hills
Are Alive,”
http://www.usatoday.com/travel/columnist/getline/2005-01-31-ask-the-captain_x.htm
but other than that I hadn’t been in Munich since
I was a teenager, hundreds and hundreds of years
ago.

I met my flight crew for the first time at our
operations in Dulles and they turned out to be one
of the nicest crews with which I've ever had the
privilege to fly. Our primary copilot was Katina
and our non-flying (relief) copilot was Dave.
They
had never flown with each other, either, which is
nothing unusual. Pilots are trained very
thoroughly in their specific job functions so
mixing and matching flight crews doesn’t matter;
we all know exactly what is expected of us. It’s
rare I ever fly with the same pilot twice.

In any case, I flew the flight over and Katina
flew us home to Dulles. That’s another thing I’ve
discovered--many people don’t know that the
captain and copilot alternate flying versus
non-flying duties (working the radios, navigating,
etc.). With their permission, I’ve posted both
Katina’s and Dave’s pictures in my new Album
called “Dulles to Munich.” Check this new album
out at:

http://www.fromthecockpit.com/gallery/thumbnails.php?album=14

When you’re done with that Album, you might want
to revisit the “At Home” Album. Al, the Web Guy,
took some spectacular sunset photos from our house
in Colorado. This link will take you there.

http://www.fromthecockpit.com/gallery/thumbnails.php?album=12

It was fascinating to hear the similarities
between Katina’s background and my own. This is
the third time, by the way, in the few months I’ve
been flying this aircraft, that I’ve had a female
copilot. All of them have been exceptionally
warm and friendly, and it’s always fun hearing
their own stories about becoming an airline
pilot. Even today, being an airline pilot is very
much a male-dominated profession.

When we arrived in Munich, capitol of Bavaria,
there was a LOT of snow and in fact, it was
snowing both for our arrival and departure the
next day. Midday, though, it cleared up just a
little and although it remained bitterly cold, I
got a few decent outdoor photos in the Marienplatz
where Munich’s famous clock is.

Our hotel in Munich is just above a subway station
and in the passageway between the hotel and the
subway was a guy playing an accordion. It was
terribly cold, but not as cold as outside in the
Marienplatz where there was another guy playing an
accordion. My fingers were frozen stiff even with
gloves and I can’t imagine how either man was able
to keep his fingers moving.

In any case, I have to tell you I didn’t know it
was possible to play the accordion with such
virtuosity. No Bavarian OOM-pa music here.
Rather, both played extremely complicated
classical pieces; I recognized a Toccata and Fugue
by Bach and was amazed at the depth of the
delivery on the accordion which one does not
normally associate with classical fare.

I visited the famous Frauenkirche and although I
hoped maybe the organist would be practicing, I
had no such luck. However, coming out of the
church I could already hear the classical
accordion player and it sounded, unbelievably,
very similar to a pipe organ with heavy emphasis
on deep bass notes. I never thought I could be
thrilled by classical music played on an
accordion, but I was.

My copilot Dave commented that he always listens
for the sound of the accordion player to find his
way back to the hotel as there are several places
to make a wrong turn in the somewhat complicated
subway passages. The accordion player there sits
just outside the passageway leading directly to
our hotel. If one day the accordion player should
stay home, there may be some lost souls who'll
never find their way out of the subway--not until
the accordion player shows up for work again, that
is.

I have to tell you that showing up in Bavaria with
my Hawaiian muumuu, bathing suit and flip flops
did not come in especially handy. Remember, when
I packed my bag I was pretty sure I was
Honolulu-bound. Wrong again. I didn’t attend any
luaus this trip, but no matter. How fun to
revisit the beautiful capitol of Bavaria after so
many years.

And that’s Cap’n Meryl’s week in review.
Ho-hum—just another day at the office. But what
an office! I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Until Next Time,
Maintain Airpseed!
Cap’n Meryl

Keep Your Pants On—Please

Cap'n Meryl — Tue, 01 Mar 2005 06:19:00 PST

FROM CAP’N MERYL

Link to this week’s column at USAToday.com/travel:

http://www.usatoday.com/travel/columnist/getline/2005-02-14-ask-the-captain_x.htm

“Keep Your Pants On—Please!”

This week’s column at USAToday.com (through the above
link) features a brand new section of my Photo Gallery,
called “A Much Younger Cap’n Meryl.” To go directly to
this Album now click here:
http://www.fromthecockpit.com/gallery/thumbnails.php?album=13
Some, but not all, of these picture appear in “The
World At My Feet.”

Because I am still on vacation and not having any
current flying adventures (or misadventures), I thought
I’d take this opportunity to tell you about a flight
when I was a pilot in Alaska for a long-gone company
called “Wien Air Alaska.” “Wien” is pronounced Ween
and is the family name of the brothers who founded the
airline.

Before I go on, though, I always like to mention in
passing that a Wien pilot once showed me his pilot’s
license, signed by Orville Wright. I know I’m old, but
not THAT old. It’s just that we sometimes forget, I
think, how very young aviation actually is. Wilbur
died relatively young, but Orville went on to work for
the Civil Aeronautics Administration, which preceded
the Federal Aviation Administration. In fact, he was
awarded honorary license #1. Orville Wright died in
Dayton, Ohio, in 1948, the same city where he was born.
I was born in Dayton just five years later. Did I
mention I was old?

By the way, I have one more thing sort of in common
with the Wright Brothers other than our city of birth:
They had a brother named Loren. I have a brother named
Lorin. Close enough.

In any case, I was the second woman ever hired at Wien.
Although their first woman was a very well-liked
Alaskan and had set at least some precedent for women,
I was the first female to fly on one of their
three-pilot B-727 crews. Earlier, the largest airplane
they’d flown had just two pilots—the B-737. I was the
flight engineer on the B-727. The flight engineer sits
sideways facing a panel of dials and gauges, managing
the fuel, hydraulics, air conditioning and other
systems.

Many of the guys hated the fact I was there. Some
were, or at least acted, ambivalent, and some were very
solicitous, going out of their way to let me know they
“didn’t mind” my presence in the cockpit.

One rather blustery day, I was at my flight engineer
panel doing my preflight chores and was getting ready
to go outside and perform the “walkaround.” From a
Supercub all the way to a B-747 it is mandatory that an
exterior inspection take place prior to each and every
flight.

That job generally belongs to the lowest-ranking member
of the crew; in this case, that was me. However, this
particular captain told me he would do the walkaround
today as it was so nasty outside. I protested a
little, but frankly I was too surprised and pleased at
his friendly attitude to argue much.

I was engrossed in something as he returned to cockpit
from outside, but upon hearing him utter a string of
rather colorful (and unprintable) words, I looked up to
see what was wrong. Somehow, this captain had managed
to rip his pants from the very top inside seam of one
leg all the way to the ankle. I’m still not sure
exactly what happened, but he said his pant leg ripped
when he squatted down too quickly to examine a tire
pressure gauge.

In any case, he was quite a sight with his leg exposed
completely outside his pants. We were bound for
Seattle, which was about a three hour flight. I told
him I’d see if I had a sewing kit with me. I usually
kept a small one in my suitcase, the kind some hotels
give out.

Once we were en route, I rummaged around in my suitcase
and, sure enough, found a tiny sewing kit. After
cautioning this captain that sewing was NOT among my
talents and all I could do was patch him up somewhat,
he took me up on my offer.

He waited a little bit after we leveled off at our
cruise altitude and then, without saying anything, got
out of his seat and started to take his pants off so I
could work on them.

The copilot said to him, “Hey, what’re you DOING?” In
a flash of inspiration I said, “Oh, keep your pants
on!” Then I turned to the captain and said, “No,
no—not you!” Well, I thought I was funny even if
nobody else did.

At that time, which was in the early eighties, our
cockpit doors were not even locked. Some flight
attendants knocked and others just barged in
unannounced, often making me jump.

Of course you know what happened next: the captain was
lounging around behind me in his skivvies when a flight
attendant walked in and surveyed the scene there.
Presumably she came to offer us coffee or something,
but she turned and said, “Maybe this is a bad time” and
left again before I could stop her. I’m afraid we
didn’t see her for the rest of the flight. Well,
that’s not quite true; we did see her once more—just
not in the cockpit.

Much later in the flight, his pants semi-repaired with
rather loose and very inexpert stitching, this
sweet-tempered captain, instead of letting me know he
needed to leave the cockpit, climbed over his seat
instead. I could have scooted my chair in toward my
instrument panel to leave him plenty of room to get by,
but I was so engrossed in whatever I was doing I simply
didn’t notice him.

The backs of the pilots’ seats in the 727 are rather
high and when he climbed over he apparently caught the
top edge with his foot. The first thing I became aware
of any of this was when our cockpit door was suddenly
flung open from the inside as my captain hurled through
the cockpit and out into the cabin like he’d just been
shot out of a cannon. He landed face-down halfway back
in the first class, to the passengers’ shock. If I
hadn’t been in such shock myself, I could not have
resisted saying, “And STAY out!” and slamming the door
shut. I always like to go for drama.

But I wasn’t that quick and initially I couldn’t quite
piece together exactly what happened. The copilot saw
it all and although concerned for the captain was
laughing so hard he couldn’t speak. I went and got my
captain, (who later became a dear friend), who wasn’t
actually hurt so much as in surprised— dusted him off
and escorted him back to the cockpit, but as it became
clear what had happened and what it must have looked
like from first class, I started laughing and the
flight attendants were almost hysterical with laughter.
This was an extremely well-liked guy and nobody wanted
to make him feel bad, but it was just too funny for
words and he laughed, too, when the shock finally wore
off about 45 minutes later.

The flight attendant who had come up while I had been
mutilating his pants with needle and thread earlier was
also laughing, but at the same time had her hands on
her hips and a quizzical look as if asking, “What in
the world is going ON up there?”

In any case, after we three pilots were again settled
in our seats, I got the sewing kit back out, my captain
took his pants off a second time without a word—the
copilot had the good sense to keep his mouth shut this
time—and I sewed up his pants the second time that
flight. My flimsy repair job did not survive his
unexpected flight out of the cockpit.

Readers often write telling me they want to know what
really goes on up there behind closed doors. Now,
aren’t you glad you asked?

Until Next Time,
Maintain Airpseed!
Cap’n Meryl

To UNSUBSCRIBE………

Home On The Range

Cap'n Meryl — Mon, 21 Feb 2005 18:19:00 PST

FROM CAP’N MERYL

Link to this week’s column at USAToday.com/travel:

http://www.usatoday.com/travel/columnist/getline/2005-02-21-ask-the-captain_x.htm

Cap’n Meryl – Home on the Range

I’m on vacation until the end of the February. So what’s an
airline captain do with enough days off to actually go
somewhere fun? Shall I jet off to Bali or some other exotic
port? Perhaps take a cruise through the canals of France?
A trip to the Great Pyramids of Egypt?

I think not. My idea of a good time when I’m not jetting
around the planet for a living—which for me frankly is like
a vacation in spite of the long hours—is to just stay home,
and that is exactly what I’m doing. I need to be re-trained
on all things domestic, though. I’m dialing “9” every time
I make a call, head for my suitcase when I need clothes, and
who knew they made big bars of soap?

I’m not as bad as the retired pilot who allegedly asked his
wife if she’d like to go out for dinner and a movie, but
later had to tell her apologetically, “I’m sorry, Honey, but
the flight cancelled.” I’m almost that bad, though.

As I write this, Al, my Web Guy and Senior Executive
Vice-President in Charge of Absolutely Everything Around
Here is sound asleep as it’s late and he’s a morning person.
I, on the other hand, am very much a night person. In my
office loft I have a view of softly falling snow on the
rolling plains of Colorado where our rural home is located
on 28 acres.

“Oh, give me a home where the buffalo roam…and I’ll show you
a dirty house!” This quote comes to you courtesy of Scott
Getline, the youngest of my three older brothers, who used
to spout such witty sayings when we were kids. Come to
think of it, he still does. I mention this because people
ask me who does the housework when I’m so busy all the time.
How do I possibly have time to write books—well, one book so
far and hopefully another one on the way—fly airplanes, keep
up a weekly column for USAToday.com as well as my own Weekly
Update, do constant interviews about the book, column and
website, sort through a gazillion emails AND keep a
household going?

The answer is, I don’t. Al does the cooking, partly because
I don’t have time but mostly, I suspect, because he’s tasted
my cooking. Anything with over three ingredients is out for
me.

Also, as far as I’m concerned there’s only one setting on
the stove and that’s HIGH. Again, Al does the cooking.

I am equally inept at doing the laundry. Nothing ever comes
out right, my whites turn pink or blue or whatever because I
am apparently incapable of performing the art of separating
the laundry. Sorry, Mom. I know you tried.

Vacuuming—that I can do. I’m not saying I do, just that I
can. If you’ve read “The World At My Feet” you might
recall that vacuuming was the only chore I could manage
while in the Army as well. Everything else I hired out, in
a manner of speaking. (If you would like to order a signed
copy of my book, please see the postscript at the bottom.)

Our household consists of Al and me, a Chattering Lorrie
named Houdini, for whom my publishing company—Lorrie
Press—is named. True to his species, he talks his head off.
He’s a beautiful red, medium-size bird of the parrot family.
He says things like “What’s the matter with you?” and “I’m a
sweet birdie!” Or, if Al or I drop something he’ll very
helpfully say, “Damn it!” thereby saving us the trouble. His
vocabulary is better than some people I know. He even
“answers” the phone when it rings saying, “Hi! This is Al!”

Also, there’s Petey and Charlie Chopper, our two ferrets.
They’re fluffy, affectionate and adorable and when they get
to smelling not-so-pleasant I just throw them in the tub,
lather them up a bit and they’re good as new again. Being
members of the otter family they enjoy a good swim now and
then (as do I).

If you care to “meet” the family, click here and you’ll land
in the newest part of the Photo Gallery, the “At Home”
Album.
http://www.fromthecockpit.com/gallery/thumbnails.php?album=12

But what about Al? Doesn’t he deserve to go on vacation?
You have my permission to try and talk him into it. Al is a
retired United Airlines B-747-400 captain and yes, I met him
through the job. His last several years at work consisted
of flying to Sydney a few times a month, having some beer
and fish n’ chips and flying home again. He apparently only
misses flying if you ask him, and getting him to travel as a
passenger is worse than pulling teeth. I’m sure we’ll go
somewhere again but for now he’s very engrossed in
supporting me by keeping the domestic end of things
together, running the Blog and my website, putting photos up
after my trips, educating himself on technical stuff, and on
and on. He’s a very busy guy and I couldn’t do any of the
writing I do without him.

So here I am, at home, trying to just be “normal” for a week
or so, going through at least a thousand emails. I used to
pride myself on answering every single email I received.
Those days are gone as there aren’t enough hours in the day
to address the mountains of emails I receive. Just this
morning I found emails from South Africa, India, China,
Japan, Australia and here’s even one from a Shanwick Oceanic
Control (mentioned in a recent USAToday.com column)
Supervisor in Ireland. This is the first air traffic
control facility we communicate with as we approach land on
the way to Europe and the last one as we head out to sea on
our way back to the U.S.

I didn’t mention it in my “Over The Pole To The Orient”
piece last week, but on that trip I was able to communicate
in Russian with the Siberian controllers. Although English
is the worldwide standard, I wondered what would happen if I
sent a note (at this point in the flight we were
communicating by the equivalent of satellite-based “emails”)
written in phonetic Russian. Since Russian has its own
alphabet, I wasn’t sure the controllers on the other end
would understand what I was doing. They did and seemed both
pleased and amused, so we had quite the conversation in
Russian. It kind of knocked my socks of to hear from a
Shanwick Oceanic Controller. Maybe I’ll be hearing from the
Russians next.

I’ve heard from well over fifty countries now and of course
I have hundreds of emails each week from right here in the
U.S. I do still try to answer as many as possible without
regard to whether I think the questions may be selected by
USAToday.com’s editors for my column. I’ll also take this
opportunity to say a great big “THANK YOU” for those of you
who have taken the time and trouble to send notes simply
telling me you enjoy my writing. I can’t begin to tell you
how gratifying that is. In fact, it’s what keeps me going.

So this is my life at home, a great deal of which is spent
at my computer. I decided to write this particular Weekly
Update in response to questions I’ve received regarding the
“other” side of my life. Almost too exciting for words,
isn’t it?

By the way, just so you know, I peeked into all the closets
and under the bed, and found not a single buffalo.

Until Next Time,
Maintain Airpseed!
Cap’n Meryl

P.S. The second printing of “The World At My Feet” is out
and has quickly sold nearly a thousand copies. I have a
small private stash of first editions here at home and when
they’re gone—they’re gone. If you have any desire to order
a signed first edition, here again are the instructions for
doing so:

$22.00 check or money order made out to WFS, Inc. and mail
to:
WFS, Inc.
c/o Meryl Getline
1253 Santa Fe Trail
Elizabeth, CO 80107

Please specify EXACTLY what you want as the name for whom
I’ll personalize your copy. That is: “For Joe” or “For
Joe Smith” or “You Great Big Gorgeous Hunk, You” or….you get
the idea.

Over The Pole To The Orient

Cap'n Meryl — Tue, 15 Feb 2005 08:49:00 PST

FROM CAP’N MERYL

Link to this week’s column at USAToday.com/travel:

http://www.usatoday.com/travel/columnist/getline/2005-02-14-ask-the-captain_x.htm

Over The Pole To The Orient

This week I flew a trip originating from New
York’s Kennedy Airport instead of from my own
Chicago base. Being on reserve means I’m very
junior in my position seniority-wise. I fly
leftover trips that aren’t otherwise covered.
Maybe someone has called in sick, or taken some
vacation, or whatever. It’s not that unusual that
we’re sent to another base to cover a trip.

I had my choice this day to fly right back to
London, where I flew my most recent trip, or to
take this trip to Tokyo. Even though London was
so much fun and I’m anxious to go back, I needed
the extra flight time for the month and opted for
the Tokyo trip.

When I spoke with the dispatcher for the flight
from JKF to Narita I asked her if we would fly the
same basic route as we would out of Chicago—across
Canada and just slightly north or south of
Anchorage, Alaska, or if we would fly over the
North Pole. She responded that normally we would
stick to the Canadian airways just north of the
route we generally take out of Chicago, but due to
some “closures” in Canadian airspace, today we
would fly over the pole which on some routes saves
substantial time, but on others takes just a
little longer.

This day it would cost us an extra 34 minutes of
flying time. (This week’s column at USAToday.com
– link is at the top – discusses taking short cuts
over the pole and over previously unfriendly
countries, like Russia.)

When I asked what “closures” meant, she responded
that it usually means manpower shortages for some
areas of Canada.

Manpower shortages? Okay, stop right there. I
immediately pictured three Canadian guys dressed
to the hilt in plaid winter clothing, ice-fishing
somewhere on a frozen lake in the middle of the
Great Canadian Nowhere. Here’s how the
conversation goes:

The first guy says, “Great day for ice-fishing,
eh?”

Second guy: “Sure is—pass me another beer, eh?”

Third guy, looking up as an airliner passes high
overhead heading due north: “Not that much farther
over the pole anyway, eh?”

They all laugh, just a little guiltily.

So over the pole we went. Well, not quite over
the pole but close enough. We passed within about
400 miles of it. We can actually plug a fix into
our onboard computer (NPOLE) and it gives us the
bearing (always north in this case) and the
mileage.

The minute the dispatcher said “Over The Pole” I
immediately and involuntarily tacked on in my head
“To The Orient.” It sounded like poetry, so much
so that as each new vista in our flight unfolded
before us, verses of poetry appeared unbidden in
my alleged mind. When we arrived at our hotel in
Narita, Japan, I sat down and in less than 10
minutes penned the poem you see below. No
laughing, now; some things just can’t be helped.

I’ve added some new photos to the Photo Gallery
which appear in a new section entitled, not
surprisingly, “Over The Pole To The Orient.” The
pictures are in sequence as the flight unfolded.
The absence of many pictures on the way home is
due to the fact we took off in the evening and it
was pitch black a good part of the way. I went on
my break and when I returned to the cockpit we
were just going by Lake Erie, so that’s where the
first picture is on the return flight.

I also added some photos to the “Japan” Photo
Album. My earlier readers will remember that my
first trip there I ran my camera battery dead
before arriving and got no pictures at all in
Narita itself. I carry an extra battery now.

Here’s a link right to the photo gallery on my
website: http://www.fromthecockpit.com/gallery/

Okay, deep breath, here goes Cap’n Meryl’s poem.
By the way, I’m old school in that I still believe
poems should rhyme. No Haiku for me!

Over The Pole To The Orient

Over the Pole to the Orient
On silver wings we fly;
America fades behind us as
We head for Canadian sky.

Over the pole to the Orient
And Canada’s soon below;
The sun sits low in the western sky
And casts a blood-red glow.

Over the Pole to the Orient
Across the Arctic Sea;
Below is nothing but snow and ice
As far as the eye can see.

Over the Pole to the Orient
And Russia is soon in our sight;
Siberian steppes for a thousand miles
Reflecting a dazzling white.

Over the Pole to the Orient
And nothing but mountains below;
To the far horizon and back again
All covered with milky snow

Over the Pole to the Orient
And the sun has dropped out of sight;
The Northern Lights now fill the sky
They dance through the Arctic night.

Over the Pole to the Orient
We’re over the Sea of Japan;
We start our final approach and then
There’s nothing to do but land.

Over the pole to the Orient
Our journey has come to an end;
Next day we’ll fly away home so we
Can do it all over again!

Until Next Time,
Maintain Airspeed!
Cap’n Meryl

A Very High Tea

Cap'n Meryl — Mon, 07 Feb 2005 21:32:35 PST

FROM CAP’N MERYL

“A Very High Tea”

http://www.usatoday.com/travel/columnist/getline/2005-02-07-ask-the-captain_x.htm

What a fun week this was as I flew my first trip
to London! The last time I was in London I was
just eighteen and only there for a few days. That
was over thirty years ago. I was broke and stayed
in the outskirts of London at a place called
Pister’s Palace in an area called Child’s Hill.
My “room” was actually a narrow bed which was the
upper bunk in what amounted to a hallway filled
with bunkbeds. These were all occupied by other
necessarily frugal students like me. I had arrived
from France via Hovercraft over the English
Channel to Dover, and from there I took the train
up to London.

This time I flew in as an airline captain and was
treated to a wonderful day of exploring in
Westminster, where much of the “good stuff” is:
Buckingham Palace, Victoria Station, Parliament
and Big Ben, etc. I got lots of pictures after
fearing it would rain and I would get none at all.

Speaking of pictures, this is a good time to bring
your attention to the fact that the Photo Gallery
at www.fromthecockpit.com has been completely
revamped and improved. It was getting too big and
something had to be done, so Al, my Other Half and
Web Guy, got us a new program so I can post as
many pictures as I want without getting into space
issues. You can also register to send email
postcards should you wish to do so.

When you get to the Photo Gallery, which I’ll take
you to directly by clicking on this link:
http://www.fromthecockpit.com/gallery/
you’ll see there are different albums, sorted by
location. After you click on any Album, say
Frankfurt/Austria, you can return to the home page
for all the albums by clicking on “Home” on the
dark blue bar just above photo, or to that
particular Album by clicking on the Album name
just to the right of the word “Home.” It’s really
easy if you just experiment a little. Note that
there may be more than one page in an Album. For
instance, in the lower right-hand corner of the
London Album you’ll see there are three pages.

Another feature is that you may send any photo as
a postcard, but you’ll need to register first. To
do this, click on the photo you wish to send.
Look for the envelope symbol in the dark blue bar,
right side. Click on that and then you’ll need to
register. It’s really easy. Just look around for
the register bar to click on and follow the
prompts. It took me just a few seconds to
register myself.

The title of this week’s Update refers to the fact
that although we had an American crew of flight
attendants flying over, for the return flight our
flight attendants were all British, based in
London. Our flight left in the afternoon and just
as we were approaching the shore of Newfoundland
our relief pilot, who had gone to the cabin to
grab some coffee, showed up with a tray of scones
and some other goodies along with tea — high tea
in both the literal and cultural sense at 38,000
over the Atlantic ocean! Since this was my first
London flight I had no idea that there was
actually a tea service offered onboard. The
delights of air travel!

By the way, is anyone by me awed by the fact that
a person can visit Buckingham Palace at 11:00 AM
and be at home in Denver by 11:00 PM? Yes, I know
there’s a time change, but it’s still remarkable
that this can all take place in a less-than-24
hour time frame.

This happened to be an exceptionally smooth flight
both ways and we could actually see the ground on
both sides of the ocean. So much of the time the
ground is completely obscured by clouds, but not
this trip. I included an aerial shot of the Irish
coast in the Photo Gallery – London Album.

We’ll be changing to a hotel in Kensington in a
few months, I understand, but for now we lay over
in Westminster right on the Thames. I was able to
walk to many of the major sights and the weather
actually cooperated, at least for awhile.
Although it was typically overcast and chilly –-
around 50 degrees or so -–the sun broke through in
the morning and I got a great shot of British
Parliament, Big Ben and the Westminster Bridge
under a partly blue English sky.

From there, I hoofed it over to Victoria Station
and Buckingham Palace, taking photos all the way.
My favorite shot of all, though, is the one on
Page 2 of the London Album, where I talked a
British cabbie into loaning me his taxi for a
picture. I can only surmise what he might have
told his wife. Crazy Americans!

Off to Tokyo tomorrow, so...

Until Next Time,
Maintain Airspeed!
Cap’n Meryl

Cap'n Meryl over the Atlantic [Flickr]

al_carmickle — Sat, 22 Jan 2005 07:42:22 PST

al_carmickle posted a photo:

Early morning over the Atlantic. Frankfurt to Chicago

Grand Canyon [Flickr]

al_carmickle — Thu, 20 Jan 2005 07:06:14 PST

al_carmickle posted a photo:

Cap'n meryl took this photo while flying over the Grand Canyon. www.fromthecockpit.com