Aspi's Drift

Music Ka Maha Muqqabla: Enemies R Us

2010-02-08T17:58:00.018-06:00

A few weeks ago on MkMM, just before SRK and KJo showed up to promote their now beleaguered movie - My Name is Khan - Himesh Reshammiya trotted on stage looking sharpish in a gray suit. In a matter of minutes he laid low the entire concept of the show. "How can the decision of each muqabla be decided by the people who sit in the back and not in the front?!" he thundered.

So what's with this front row-back row argument? Quite simple: its a class issue.

The audience in MkMM that gets the voting meters are the seated audience. In other words they are not the chavvani audience that forms Himesh's core fan group (and before anyone thinks I'm being classist, I count myself among Himesh's biggest fans). This means the upper class audience decides Himesh's fate. Not only does this eat into Himesh's votes but because our man has long been ostracized by the upper crust of Bollywood, this particular aspect of having his fate decided by the more moneyed hurts Himesh even more.

These days Himesh gets irritated quickly - he's become the Rocket Singh of Rageaholics. When this happens, his face takes on an expression of neutrality (ok, no jokes about how this is pretty much how he goes through his movies) and he crams in pause-less sentences into the microphone, not giving any chance for anyone to interrupt. Then he puts the mike down. This gesture of laying the mike down has such fear-inducing finality that no one says a word. Talk about technique!

This reached such nutty proportions that one singer - Amey Date, who now calls himself Aamaaya - lost his head. He took the fight, first to Himesh and then to the rest of the judges. The judges stayed their ground. Amey's blood boiled over - he staged that time tested technique of showing exasperation: he staged a walkout! Much cajoling by a bunch of angry looking producer-types failed to lure Amey back on stage. Everyone in the show begged for him to return. Mohit Chauhan, sensing an awesome opportunity to get some sympathy votes, strapped on a harmonica and sang something. He got perfect scores from the audience. The pressure piled on Amey, who still refused to budge.

Finally a couple of people just grabbed the poor singer and hauled him back on stage kicking and screaming. Seconds later Amey went hammer and tongs after Mika Singh, who got up and said "Idhar Aa beta!" At this point even Conan the Barbarian would have ducked out of sight. But Amey kept going. Poor Shankar Mahadevan buried his head in his palm.

All this was super entertaining!

Unfortunately for me, Mika has been losing his muqqablas steadily and was in danger of getting eliminated. With the unthinkable staring Mika the face, he took on Shaan, who has found the right mix of music and good natured muqabla to become one of the show's leading entertainers.

Vidya Balan and Arshad Warsi came on this episode to promote their new flick Ishqiya. The kicker? They both came dressed in character! This was something I had never seen before. Arshad came wearing his sexy-dangerous Surma Bhopali getup. Vidya came in a dowdy looking sari with her hair loose to one side.

"I've never seen you looking beautiful!" Mika exclaimed.

"You didn't think I looked good before?!" Vidya probed looking a little befuddled.

"I never saw you in that way before!" Mika countered.

Later Mika was so overcome by Vidya's beauty that he walked over, touched her feet and declared that Vidya was now his sister! This interchangeable saiyya-bhaiyya love is a proven way to entertain people. (See post here and here).

Happily this episode ended in a tie and Mika survived another round. How does a tie occur on this show you may ask? Well the 'computer' counts up to the first decimal. But if difference is less than half a point, the computer rounds UP both scores - regardless of which side of the half they are - to the same number. Wah, what an awesomely senseless computer. I want one for Diwali. But this raises the specter of rigged scores.

Like Mika himself once asked, is this show fixed? Given its sole purpose in life is to entertain me and this will happen only if there is drama in the competition, I sure hope so!

So on the main part of the show - the singing! Yes I seem to recall there was some.

Julie & Julia revisited: Lost in translation

2010-02-04T00:01:00.001-06:00

Every so often I'll watch a movie that everyone hates and I absolutely love. And no, I'm not sharing those with you.

But once in a while I'll watch a movie that everyone absolutely adores that makes me go WTF?! Julie & Julia is one such movie.

J&J is based on two memoirs, which the screenplay cleverly intersects into one integrated parallel narrative. It's been done many times before but it works in an impressively well oiled way in this movie. Julie (Amy Adams) - who is a bit of a failed writer and stuck in a dead end job - cooks her way through 524 recipes from Julia Child's cookbook (Mastering the Art of French Cuisine) as a way of proving to herself that she undertake something creative AND finish it. She blogs about it (the original blog is here on Salon).

In the second interwoven story, Julia Child (Meryl Streep) moves to Paris and begins her now famous love affair with French cuisine.

There are several reasons I just didn't get into the movie. We'll leave the well accepted ones aside: lack of a propulsive plot, somewhat one-dimensional supporting characters, no real conflict. The biggest reason for my LACK of engagement was: THE FOOD!

Everyone who loved the movie loved the food in it. The first piece of food that Julia tastes in the movie is a fish swimming in butter. Hells Bells! What a perfectly good way to ruin a fish! Director Nora Ephron then drives this point home when she ladles on (so to say) the butter. Julie is shown talking about how lots of butter is essential for cooking good food. Cue heart attack inducing shots of blocks of butter melting in a pan. Let's get back to REAL food, Ephron seems to be saying, simultaneously thumbing her nose at the cageyness of modern day cuisine to embrace good wholesome fat.

For the rest of the movie I was regaled with lovingly shot recipes featuring meat slathered with butter and wrapped up in pastry wherever possible. I might have seen a vegetable or two tossed in there somewhere - but they disappeared before I could pull out my microscope. At one point Julie tries to make a jelly out of beef stew. Later she tries to stuff chicken liver back in the chicken before baking it.

Once in the entire movie I saw Julia toss some oregano in a pot. Hadn't anyone in France heard of haldi or garam masala back then? For a desi like me, cooking without spices is a crime of the highest order. By the time the final recipe made its way into the movie - a duck baked in pastry (the only spices in there - salt), I had lost my appetite for the ENTIRE WEEKEND.

During my graduate days, a friend (part Polish-part French-part German) used to admonish me for adding flavor to meat or vegetables. "What's the point?" she used to say, glaring at me "the original taste of what you are cooking is completely gone!"

I can't argue that point (I even have some relatives who won't eat a fruit unless its slices are sprinkled with chaat masala). But using spices has advantages. For one, it allows you put flavorful food on the table without having to fry it each time for big taste. Second, if used right you can incorporate the medicinal value of spices right into your plate of food. To be fair, Indian cooking has several shortcomings - the worst of which is how much we tend to overcook our food and lose most of its nutritional value. But I digress.

Back to movie: Julia Child is credited with empowering American women with the confidence to cook again. This is alluded to in Julie's story where she gains control of her life by learning cooking through Childs' cookbook. I was completely unable to connect with this emotional subtext in the story although that was not related to the food in the movie.

On the other hand, I am increasingly fascinated by the impressively burgeoning career of Amy Adams. I love the way her hair itself gives a performance in every movie (hold on to that hairstylist!). But that is a whole different post.

The movie is based on the following books:
Julie and Julia: My Year of Cooking Dangerously by Julie Powell
My Life in France by Julia Child and Alex Prud'Homme

My thanks to Beth and Memsaab for helping me understand why the movie (and the iconic Child) was so loved by everyone

Phaltu Reporting: The greatest hits of Amrita Rao

2010-02-01T16:38:00.003-06:00

Bollywood celebs have been getting on twitter faster than Shahid Kapoor has been cycling through girlfriends. This seems to be a good idea - fans get a chance to talk directly to their loved ones. And the loved ones feel loved and get to interact directly with fans.

Guess who gets cut out - the media!

But the media has been striking back! How have they done it? They've come up with something rather innovative: the twitter news blurb. Here is how it works - the media monitors celeb tweets. Then they write about it. In other words, the media now reports to the fans what the celeb say to them directly. "SRK is sick!", "Imran Khan spent his birthday working!", "Celina has gas!" (I made that last one up - but you get the point, yes?)

But wait, there is more. Often fans respond back to the celebs. The media has caught wind of this and often reports on what the fans have to tweet about the celeb's tweets.

All this makes my head hurt even as I write it. But the incongruity of it all is much fun I have to admit. As an elaborate tribute to this phenom - which I call Phaltu Twitter Reporting (PTR) - I decided to respond with some Phaltu Facebook Reporting (PFR). I decided to check out Amrita Rao's Facebook Fan page and pull out the best her fans had to say about her.

Why Amrita Rao? Because her fans are the most entertaining. Over to them.

"U r ma dream gal !!!!!"

"CAN I MEET U ONCE IN A LIFETIME I M U FAN AND I WILL NOT TELL THAT I M U R BIGGEST FAN BUT I M U R ONE AND ONLY FAN .....PLS PLS REPLY ME PLS"

"how much"

"i wish.....i shud get a wife like u....."

"i use 2 think katrina is the prettiest bt no i change my mind after seeing u in the video song poorza poorza"

"u r definitely not the most beautiful gal on earth .. a true/honest msg frm ur normal fan"

"i have seen ur all of moveise"

"if there is any thing like black magic.....its in her eyes."

"ur posters r like paint in my room.they cover every square inch"

"I am mad about u. I wanna act with u. plz"

"I LUV U !! :) :) :)....WILL U MARRY ME !!"

"if you want to make a permanent impression upon the audience so that,you get remembered even after you than don't please compromise with your roles,story of the movie and try to do natural acting..for example as you have done in "vivah".............."

"Nothing new but I can't resist myself saying ........... you are gargious"

"you are very sexy pose."

"Wat i do if i lov u...:("

"your performance was good, but i loved your gestures from your face. It was hot, ammu."

"oh!! dear dont brake my heart..really there is someone special???"

"U R LUCKING HOT IN WHITE DRESS"

"im not so big fan of u yet.. bt always love to watch yr innocency in movies."

"all of us are making comments on this wall.....however, amrita doesnt reply or post any comment on her wall.....does this mean this is FAKE????"

Also:

The music of Karthik Calling Karthik

2010-01-28T00:04:00.001-06:00

There are several reasons the music of the upcoming Farhan Akhtar-Deepika Padukone starrer Karthik Calling Karthik is very interesting to listen to.

The music of KCK is diverse. You'll hear all kinds of different but neighboring genres integrated to sound seamless - which comes from the composer's diverse influences.

Its emblematic of the new sound that so many new wave Bollywood directors desire - smart, urban, contemporary. It's not just enough to create hits anymore, composers have to deliver feel and popularity in a single package.

Charged with creating a trendy set of songs after a script hearing, composers Shankar, Ehsaan and Loy settled down for a bunch of jam sessions. A month later, they had this whip smart soundtrack.

KCK's flagship single is a song about a budding romance called Hey Ya! Unlike on Wake Up Sid where Clinton Cerejo's scratch vocals were retained on the massive hit Kya Karoon - this time Clinton's vocals were laid down for the final song. Hey Ya! is a frothy electropop track. Several times Clinton breaks out into a neo-soul alto, but only slightly so, keeping the song squarely in pop territory.

KK sings a ballad about a life transformed by love called Jaane Ye Kya Hua - a song that is allowed to breathe and develop amidst a meandering melody. Jaane starts like a power ballad, settles into an easy groove and gets its soul from a harmonica and KK's bravura singing.

Shankar Mahadevan opens the title track and hands it off to Suraj Jagan who sings it in low slung notes. KCK is a trippy, psychedelic song which gets its mojo from several deliciously conceived backup vocal bits by Suraj himself, Caralisa Montiero and Malika Singh.

Midival Punditz and Karsh Kale collaborate to deliver the instrumental Karthik 2.0. Tasked to compose the background music for the movie, Punditz and Kale realized they had a theme on their hands while scoring one of the scenes. Thus born spontaneously and added to the CD, K2.0 has speed metal guitars styled with electronica. It sounds terrific. Several times the Punditz will break the song down and incorporate KCK's signature phone dial tones into the music. There is some generic pacing with violins at the end, but its rousing and its absolutely forgiven given the other surprises on the track.

There are other interesting songs on KCK that you should explore. A more trademark SEL style - hindustani vocals over a dance beat - is put on high octane on Uff Teri Ada. SEL labored over this song the longest and paired Shankar Mahadevan with Loy's daughter Alyssa Mendonsa who makes a delicious debut. Kailash Kher does a stellar job on Kaisi Hai Yeh Udaasi which has a nifty melody driven by the interplay between a flute and guitar.

Click on any song in this post to listen. You can listen to all the songs in Saavn's widget below.

Ehsaan, Punditz, thanks for sharing your notes with me!

Mika + Himesh = Music Ka Maha Muqqabla

2010-01-26T00:00:00.003-06:00

MkMM is threatening to become a full fledged entertainer after a somewhat slow start.

How is this happening? Primarily a few judges have aligned with the camp of the show, but more on that in a little bit.

The outpouring of nutty behavior from a few has been infectious. Almost everyone regularly has WTF moments and the show hums along nicely. Because it appears that everyone might have smoked a doobie before appearing on TV, I hereby will call this show Zoobie Doobie Taram Pum.

A few weeks ago, stung by his defeat in one of the frivolous contests that propel this show, Shaan came out in full Zoobie Doobie mode. Wearing a sleeveless white shirt and prancing about on stage with the energy of a dancer, he flexed his muscles. No, literally. Several times. Thus indicating that he sings with his biceps. Powered by this jordaar display, Shaan won the contest and has happily retained his table thumping enthusiasm since.

Himesh, we all know, is a reality show man for the ages. He has been in fine form - primarily because he senses Shreya Ghoshal's constant irritation at him. Not one episode goes by when the camera will not catch Shreya issuing a subtle eye roll at Himesh's antics. Once we saw Shreya holding her head during one of Himesh's terrific bhaashans.

Thus needled (it's NEVER Himesh's fault), Himesh has become a philosopher judge. "What should I judge" he asks constantly. "Performance? Singing? His singing? Your singing? Why? What? Whyfor?" So scared is he of being judged himself that he feels the need to explain, clarify and ask for permission before handing out scores. Often he'll also say "ROJI ROTI BARKAT!!" and make a tiny puri with his shaking fingers.

But the judge who has really ramped up the fun on MkMM has been Mika. A week or so ago, pitted against Mohit Chauhan (who we all thought would be a pushover), Mika decided to sing a song and serenade Priyanka Chopra who was wearing a short, smart bob and an even shorter and smarter skirt. Admirably Priyanka kept her modesty intact but Mika, inexplicably caught in the moment, starting sobbing like a baby. He couldn't finish the song, swore loudly, then apologized and slunk back to his seat - using his scarf to wipe his tears.

This moment of loopy vulnerability touched me. Later Mika emerged in the final medley portion of the competition to do his famous helicopter move - where he spins around and appears to be trying to torque his head off his shoulders.

Brilliantly enough this week both Mika and Himesh entered the fray as competitors. And predictably it resulted in MkMM's greatest episode yet.

This competition was close: Himesh's first entry - Vineet faltered badly. Toshi appeared for Mika's team and opened up a three point lead. Himesh's smile disappeared. Gloom and doom settled into The House of Reshammiya. But you can't keep a fierce competitor down and so Himesh threw little Aishwarya in the maidan in the second round. Aishwarya delivered a superlative performance - forcing Himesh to maro thumkas in the background and issue a number of sideways claps (first pioneered by Bappida for an entirely different reason: physical limitations).

The lead exchanged hands. Finally we all got to the home stretch where everyone from a team shows up on stage and sings a medley. Himesh ran out on stage and issued a bhaashan with fervor. He said a number of things that sounded passionate and important. I didn't understand any of it. Then he scampered off and returned in his long mothballed topi to sing one of his famous hits-in-a-row medleys. He sent the crowd in a frenzy - revealing that there are more rickshawallahs in Mumbai then one might be inclined to believe.

Galvanized by this dramebaazi Mika jumped up on stage and told the audience: "If you vote for me, I promise to sing Mauja Hi Mauja next time!" The competition had thus become a full fledged election with candidate promises. With this fell swoop, Mika elevated MkMM to TV greatness. He then delivered a mix of Punjabi songs so infectious that I sloshed my chai around everywhere.

Mika won the muqqabla and Himesh then delivered the first loser's speech I've seen on the show. It didn't matter - MkMM delivered entertainment in spades thanks to these two great reality competitors.

The rest of the judges - Mohit, Shreya and Shankar - try to keep up will you?

Bringing home Bollywood's most eligible bachelorettes: Another interview with TigerMaasi

2010-01-22T10:07:00.005-06:00

I often have this recurring nightmare. In this nightmare, the Drift Memsaab is leaving me for Aamir Khan. "Don't do this!" I plead. "How can you leave me for that short pengdu man?!" The Memsaab smirks at me and says "Pengdu? When was the last time you updated this nightmare?"

But before she can take off, I usually snap awake. I grope around the bed to make sure aal izz well and go right back to sleep.

But just the other day - probably because I ate too much grease at Due's (to be fair there was some pizza in it), my nightmare kept going on! The Drift Memsaab was gone. I was debilitated with grief! Frantic in my nightmare, I decided to call on the best person who could help me - my aunt Tigermaasi, astrologer to the stars.

Here is how the conversation went.

Me: Maasi, sob! My wife just left me!
Tigermaasi: (slaps me on the head) You must have done something terrible to drive that sweet girl away!

Me: I didn't look like Aamir Khan.
Tigermaasi: That bites. How can I help my favorite nephew?

Me: I'm thinking of marrying some hot Bollywood actress to get back at her
Tigermaasi: Ah! Revenge, it's a dish best served with mutton. But its bad for you!!

Me: Because of the mutton?
Tigermaasi: No, because of the heartburn from revenge. But I'm bored and need entertainment. So let's do it!

Me: What do you think of Kareena Kapoor? Will she be good for me?
Tigermaasi: Brilliant complexion! Beautiful girl! And she's even put on some weight now so you don't have to worry about her slipping off the couch onto the floor after a drink. But I'd say no to her!

Me: Why Tigermaasi?
Tigermaasi: Well you know how you've always been freaked out by her sister Karishma because she looks like Randhir Kapoor in drag? Do you really want to be looking at that every Diwali?

Me: Good point! Who would be good for me you think?
Tigermaasi: Saif Ali Khan!

Me: Sorry maasi, but I don't swing that way and I'm not sure he does either.
Tigermaasi: Your loss. I guess I'll just have to hunt him down and ravish him without your help.

Me: Hey who is this conversation about!? Let's focus! Any other suggestions?
Tigermaasi: How about Aishwarya? She is my favorite - such a lovely girl!

Me: She's married. Besides she's too pretty for me.
Tigermaasi (smirks): Well have you seen a photo gallery of all her men? I'd say you're in with a chance!

Me: One in a million maybe!
Tigermaasi: Well, that's still a chance! Paak Dadaar Hormuzd, you always sucked at Math!

Me: How about Lara Dutta?
Tigermaasi: I thought you weren't into men!

Me: What?! Lara Dutta is a hot chick!
Tigermaasi: Could have fooled me.

Me: Whatever. What do you think of Vidya Balan?
Tigermaasi: She is so beautiful and looks like she can flip a roti. But if she doesn't stop dressing like an amaa, you'll have to explain to our nosy relatives why you married your teacher.

Me: That would be awkward. Ok, what about Priyanka Chopra then?
Tigermaasi: I love Priyanka! Such a great personality - that girl is always enjoying herself and has so much spunk. She'd fit right into the family. But she is too high maintenance for you!

Me: How so?
Tigermaasi: Look at the all the things she wears! You'd be broke in a year and then she'd go back to Shahid Kapoor...again.

Me: That would kill me! Katrina Kaif then?
Tigermaasi: Not unless you want to be beaten up silly!

Me: By Salman?
Tigermaasi: No by the family bodyguard Sohail!

Me: Ouch! Well you know I've always had a thing for Bipasha Basu.
Tigermaasi: Forget her, you know how Parsi men don't marry anyone darker than them.

Me: That is so not true! Would you rather I marry Preity Zinta then?
Tigermaasi: That woman broke my sweet boy Ness Wadia's heart. For that reason she is a pariah in the Parsi community! Cute dimples and all but you'll be an outcast at ALL Parsi functions and will have to stop going to them altogether!

Me: Wow, that sounds like a good deal!
Tigermaasi: You napphat chhokra! Can you really live with no more Patra ni Machhi? Or Sali Boti for that?

Me: Goodbye Preity then! Speaking of dimples, what do you think of Gul Panaag?
Tigermaasi: Huge dimples and even bigger...

Me: Maasi, STOP!!
Tigermaasi: Ok, I'm just trying to be thorough - these things matter to some men.

Me: Never mind. Should I just marry Celina Jaitley?
Tigermaasi: Dikra, I have to say this: WHAT THE HELL?!

Me: Why?
Tigermaasi: Didn't we teach you to marry a woman who is smarter than you?

Me: Celina is smart and compassionate. She volunteers for PETA!
Tigermaasi: So she is a VEGETARIAN! That's just sone pe suhaaga then! There'll be chaos if you bring her into the family!

Me: All I've left now is Deepika Padukone.
Tigermaasi: I have two words for you: RANBIR TATTOO! Avoid!

Me: Well can you just pull my kundli and make a prediction?
Tigermaasi: Sure! (Ruffles through her diary) You will have a lifelong relationship with whoever walks in through my door next.

Me: Whoa! Are you expecting company?
Tigermaasi: Yes, a hot Bollywood superstar wants to know which film to do next.

Me: Today might be my lucky day!

(The doorbell rings)
Tigermaasi: Get that for me, will you dikra?
Me: Sure!

Tigermaasi: Well who is it?
Me: *%#$! Its Aamir Khan!

I wake up.

My thanks to Joules for the idea for this post

How artist Kim Kyoungae poured her heart and memories into her new solo show

2010-01-20T00:06:00.002-06:00

Kim Kyoungae was born and raised in South Korea. She's lived in Vadodara for the past 16 years where she creates her gorgeous, often foreboding, intense, surreal paintings. She's done six solo exhibitions since 2000.

A while ago, after a gap of five long years, Kim went back home with her daughter. She re-entered her past and relived her old memories. She noted the changes and made some new ones. Along the way, something eventful happened. She watched a documentary on the young Korean women taken as sex slaves to serve the Japanese Army during World War II.

Like many whose lives are touched by this issue Kim was consumed by sorrow. When she finally was able to make sense of it, she put together her thoughts in a collection of paintings. Those paintings are part of her seventh solo show Resonance which opens at the Hacienda Gallery in Mumbai on January 21.

I invited Kim to stop by the Drift and tell us about herself and her work.

AspisDrift.com: Kim, you did your B. FA in Oriental Arts in South Korea. You then came to Vadodara and did a Masters in Museology. Now you are a career artist. How did this long journey happen?

Kim: I chose to come to Baroda because initially I used to prepare documents for Santiniketan. I found that the environment there was what I wanted. But I felt I wanted to search for another institution. Baroda is very active and very dynamic. So it was nice.

When I studied Museology my interest was in the conservation and preservation of Indian paintings. I knew about these before coming to India and I was very fascinated. I also studied Chinese and Korean paintings when I studied Oriental Arts. There were a lot of similarities between the two.

I came to realize that the aesthetics of what I knew and what I could see were very different here. So I took the decision not to take any academic training in Art. So there is less influence of academics on my work. Because I chose an indirect learning process, I could articulate my artistic message my own way.

AspisDrift.com: Did you set out to be an artist or did that just happen?

Kim: Ha ha! I never thought I could be an artist. When I was in in the 10th standard I was involved in Art practice with a teacher. But I didn't push after school and didn't join Fine Arts. I took a break of three years. I traveled. I took a temporary job. I had a very different life. I traveled alone almost ten years from city to city.

I tried to find an isolate place to find myself and concentrate and focus on what I like to do.

A colleague suggested that I travel to India. India felt like an extension of Korea - I didn't think of it as a different, far away country. My impression of India was that it had so much more variety than Korea - variety of culture, people, colors. Everything is different but it all exists equally in India.

AspisDrift.com: What has been the most difficult adjustment to make in India?

Kim: I still have problems with the reluctance to be able to affect one's own destiny. If there is an economic downturn for example, the belief that the self cannot impact it and its all part of destiny is something I have problems with. I also have issues with the religious and class divisions in India.

Indians are very warm and welcoming to foreigners. But its the division within India that disturbs me.

AspisDrift.com: Kim, I mean this as a compliment: some of your new paintings scare me to death! They are beautiful and foreboding. Where does this come from? Do you read scary novels or watch scary movies?

Kim: This is mostly because of the theme I've dealt with (the Korean Comfort Women of World War II).

This show is almost two years of my work. During the initial stages of creating these paintings, I was very depressed but I didn't realize it. Everybody around me used to notice that I was down and depressed but even when I realized this, I didn't know why. After a year into working towards my show - I was able to finally define the issue, control my emotions and paint them. I repainted several of my works at that point.

AspisDrift.com: Ok, let's talk about your working style. What is the process of painting like for you?

Kim: For me a painting is like a diary. There is movie I once watched in about a village where everyone goes to the trees. They put their mouth into the hollow of a tree and whisper into it. The villagers make a list of those trees that contain their thoughts. That is what my paintings feel like for me.

When I start on my paintings I write my idea down. Sometimes its one word, or one line or a haiku. I don't sketch out my idea because it dilutes the essence for me. I go straight to the painting. Earlier I used to paint one by one. Now I finish about 80% of a painting and leave it for some time. At this point I try to define it further. This process goes on in my head. So I attend to other paintings in the meantime. Then I finish the final work on the painting.

When I start its very abstracts - I paint the atmosphere. The form comes later. I listen to the paintings and I like to hear what it says instead of imposing my ideas.

AspisDrift.com: Kim, would you like to tell us about a couple of your paintings?

ALBATROSS: Ok, first let me talk about the painting I used for the invitation cards for my exhibition. It has a female figure with a big spiral on top. I was thinking of the victims of the sex slavery. These women were living outside their hometown and couldn't go back to their families. It's been almost 70 years since it happened. Society was much more conservative then. Recently even in India a girl was molested, couldn't bear to live with it and committed suicide. I visualized this type of horrified memory that the women carry as an albatross. I tried to imagine what the albatross might look like for the Korean women.

RESONANCE: My husband is an archeologist. I tried to imagine the excavation of a temporary site used to commit these atrocities by the Japanese Army. What could be under the earth? That was the initial thought. There is the image of a tree without any flowers. The tree might be dead - it even looks like a jackal. There is a traditional Korean blouse that can be seen on it. When archeologists find it - they would call it an 'artifact'. The women used in sex slavery were young so I used a colorful blouse.

Also:

You can see more of Kim's earlier work here
Kim blogs along with two of her talented colleagues from Vadodara on Theen Tamasha.
Kim's artists' statement for her new show
If you are interested in Kim's work, shoot an email to Jasmine Shah Varma

Oscars' big gamble: how it could work (or not)

2010-01-18T00:02:00.002-06:00

The popularity of the Academy Awards (Oscars) is measured primarily through the ratings of its awards telecast. These numbers for the 80th Oscars in 2007 hit an all-time low with 32 million. Last year, Hugh Jackman's appearance pushed that up to 36.3 million. But the writing has been on the wall for the Academy - less people want to watch their show and by implication believe in the significance of the Oscars. Worse, ABC won't pay as much for broadcast rights if they can't get advertisers to cough up money because of the shrinking audience.

There are several reasons for this decline in viewers - and this year the Academy is tackling one of those reasons.

First, as the US increasingly becomes a celebrity obsessed culture - the Red Carpet telecasts attract a steadily growing audience. This is where you get to see who dressed up in what and who is draped on whose arm. Once this celeb-gazing is over, people are likely to switch off their TV because they are either too exhausted or they have had their fix of the stars already. The Academy actually embraced the red carpet a few years ago by selling VIP access to ABC and becoming part of the circus. If you can't beat them, you join them.

Second, there are just way too many awards shows in the US. Granted all of them lead up to the climactic Oscars, but the quantity dilutes the Academy Awards.

Lastly, the Academy tries to reward smaller, arty flicks (ostensibly because the box office has already rewarded the blockbusters). This results in the fact that the majority of Oscars' potential audience hasn't seen most of the nominated movies. Thus disenfranchised, they tend to stay away from the ceremony. (It's like expecting an Indian to watch a tri-series cricket final in which India doesn't feature).

Last year the Academy announced a bold new change to the way they go about looking for their Best Picture in a bid to change this last factor. Here is how it works.

The Academy now nominates TEN instead of five Best Pictures. The pool is now bigger. Because there are ten nominees and the Academy used employs a First Past the Post voting sytem, the FIRST nominee that scores 11% of the vote during counting would win. (It doesn't matter if some other movie gets to a majority later on - by then the game is over). This has also been changed but more on that later.

So how does this make the Oscars more accessible to viewers? There are two ways this is supposed to help.

By expanding the pool, the Academy is encouraging its voters to include popular flicks - movies that made money because they were exciting to watch and reached out to a large audience. Movies like 2012 are still not likely to be nominated in this category, but a widely watched groundbreaking flick like Avatar will likely make the grade. With just five slots, Avatar's nomination would have been unlikely (the Academy still gets brickbats for ignoring The Dark Knight in its nominations in 2008).

At the outset this strategy makes sense. The most widely watched Oscar telecast was in 1998 when a whopping 55 million viewers tuned in. The reason? The widespread nominations for history's most biggest grossing flick: Titanic. But there are some problems.

If blockbusters make their way into the big picture nominations but regularly lose to the smaller movies - as they always have, viewers will develop ennui and tune off once again. In this case the ten nominees strategy will have to be mothballed. A number of people are expecting this to happen. The wider nomination slots are an experiment at best - but because the Academy is willing to try and take risks, its something worth supporting while it runs.

Here is where the second variable introduced by the new change comes in. Because of the First Past the Post voting system used by the Academy in the past, a movie could win Best Picture simply because it got the MOST early votes. In other words, if it hit its winning post of 11% of the total Best Picture votes before any other film does, it would win. The Academy has sanely enough followed its widening of the pool with an instant run off system. Its a bit complicated but it makes this race unpredictable. Heck if most Academy voters don't understand how this works, how will the punters?

This element of risk is what the Academy is banking on when it comes to bigger pictures holding their own against smaller nominees. There is some criticism of this voting strategy because it is inherently unfair to a film that would end up with majority votes had all votes been counted. But as it stands, it has the potential to really carve up predictions and make the Oscars unpredictable more so than ever before.

If the unpredictability manages to favor a few films that mainstream audiences are interested in, then it stands to change the industry itself. The gloss of Oscar buzz that draws so many big names to do smaller films will lose a bit of its sheen. That changes movie making dynamics (although an analysis of that is too involved to include in this post).

I'm not overtly worried about this unpredictability favoring bigger films: there is no such thing as a 'small' film anymore. Most films that prioritize Art over Commerce (and not that the other way is diabolical or anything - after all bills have to paid) are big studio projects at best and vanity projects at worst. Sure a small film will make its way into the nominations once in a while - but the mounting costs of running Oscar campaigns puts small budget flicks at a distinct disadvantage.

So what are the possibilities here? There are four permutations of the following: (1) Ratings are up or (2) Ratings are indifferent or down and (a) Everyone is happy with the Best Picture selection or (b) There is a hue and cry over the Best Picture selection.

If you look at the percentages, the Academy loses in the short term only if ratings don't improve. In every other case, they can claim triumph or claim the high ground.

Sure there will be arguments over 'dilution' of the prestige - which in my opinion are hokey: there isn't much prestige in a circus act masquerading as an opera. I see the Academy Awards as meta entertainment. If you perceive it as anything but, you might be missing the point.

The making of Ishqiya's Dil To Bachcha Hai by the numbers

2010-01-15T09:39:00.021-06:00

In this age of Youtube and what not - try as I will, its hard to listen to a song before watching its video first.

Take Ke$ha's Tik Tok (the first US Billboard #1 of the decade) for instance. Long after the insanely persistent tune left my head, the image of a trashed out party chhokri who gargled with Jack was so seared in my brain that it was hard not to break out into the song whenever I felt boredom (or the police) approaching. This took a while to get rid of. (I did however add the vaguely inappropriate term 'Blow my speakers up' from the song to my vocabulary.)

In a similar vein, I ended up discovering Ishqiya's flagship song Dil to Bachcha Hai via its 'making of' video. And this messed up my perspective completely.

It's easy to mistake this song as a simple melody. Its the production more than the melody that is simple. Composer Vishal Bhardwaj uses Hitesh Sonik and Clinton Cerejo as his producers and together they are able to use instruments sparingly without making the song sound sparse.

There are two things that give Dil to Bachcha Hai its lilting cuteness: (1) a waltz rhythm, minimal percussion and a peti and guitar as primary instruments that don't overrun each other (2) delicate vocals by Rahet Fateh Ali Khan.

I review music a lot on the Drift so I decided to do something different. I watched the 'Making of...' video instead and made some important notes.

Number of times someone says 'bachcha': 13

Number of times Naseer explains the role of a song in a film: 1

Number of times Naseer clears his throat while doing that: 2

Number of come hither looks thrown by Vidya Balan: 8

Number of dopey looks thrown by Naseer: 1

Number of times Naseer's age in the film is referred to: 3

Number of references to lyricist Gulzar's age: 1

Amount of enthu Naseer has for the interview = Amount of enthu KJo has for RGV

The different ages that love reduces you to a bachcha according to Vidya Balan: 15, 50 and 80

Times composer Vishal instructs singer Rahat on how to pronounce 'Safed': 1

How Rahat pronounces 'Safed': Soofayd

Number of cheeky looks thrown by Rahet at Vishal immediately after doing this: 1

Number of people who think this is Vishal Bhardwaj's best work: 2

Number of shots of Drift favorite Hitesh Sonik: 4

Number of stills of Gulzar shown in montage: 6

Number of stills in which Gulzar's mouth is agape: 3

Number of times third lead Arshad Warsi shows up: 0

You can listen to the songs of Ishqiya on Saavn here. Be sure to catch Rekha Bhardwaj's super nasheeli jazz ghazal Ab Mujhe Koi.

Auntylove: The magic of Vidya Balan

2010-01-12T22:35:00.001-06:00

A long time ago when I was young I used to note with amusement that while we would chase young women our age, we would be endlessly fascinated by the ripe beauty of the aunties around us. Just about all the young boys in my circle shared this trait - they would crank their heads to take a closer look at PYTs but they would stand and stare at the neighborhood aunties.

It's happened several times: I would be playing cricket with my friends and would end up hitting the ball on a nearby terrace. This would result in a clandestine mission to retrieve the ball. On the way back I would chance on a window framing the gorgeous wife of some unkil brushing her hair in front of the mirror. And I would stop and stare. It would only be the imminent danger of my teammates' yells threatening to reveal my stakeout that would get me to climb down. (Yes, I'll admit I should have been locked up).

Years later when trying to demystify the appeal of the gorgeous but staid Vidya Balan, these memories came in handy. Despite having a fashion sense under development, no snappy ability to provide sound bites to the press, a clunky inability to carry off western dresses, virtually no appeal in the 'youth segment', Vidya Balan is putting together a career that is the envy of scores of Bollywood actresses.

Why is Vidya Balan the Shabana Azmi of the new millennium?

Several reasons, but primary among them is the fact that she IS the aunty that the boys all desire. (If Ms. Balan ever read this post she'd be offended. And I would turn around and say: why what an ageist attitude. What is wrong with hot aunties anyway? But I digress.)

Vidya is in a unique niche: the dusky, Indian actress who can provide glamor and bring acting chops to a role. There aren't many such roles to go around. Which is why one actor's lunch in this segment is another's poison. By dominating her segment with hits (Lage Raho Munnabhai, Guru, Heyy Babyy, Bhool Bhulaiyaa) and strong performances (Parineeta, Paa) Vidya has put Gracy Singh out of business and pushed Tabu to the back burner.

Coupled with that is her ability to bring a sly sparkly eyed seductiveness while playing seemingly strait-laced women. She seems inviting even when she's wrapped head to toe in some dress that looks like a blanket. She constantly seems to be telling us that she isn't exactly quite what she is playing.

But because she remains a niche player (her modern make over in Kismat Konnection yielded mixed results), there is work to be done.

First, there is her look. Vidya comes across as way too mature on screen - making male actors her age look like her kid brothers. To be fair, this is the bane of all young actresses. Forced to take up roles with big (read: over 40) stars to establish themselves, they style themselves so maturely that when its time to act opposite actors their age, they tend to look way older. (see: Deepika Padukone, Priyanka Chopra, Sushmita Sen, Katrina Kaif). But the problem affects Vidya deeply because she can't pull off a skirt or a swimsuit with the same panache as some of her competition.

Then there is that seductive, serious, ethnic chick image. The fact of the matter is that Vidya - because of her body type - will always look better in a sari than a cat suit.

Finally there is the matter of chemistry. Vidya's chemistry with her actors is choppy - with some it crackles, with others its distinctly thandaa. In other words, she needs the roles AND the right lead to make her mark.

For an actor who has built up such a beach head of hits, Vidya seems to have no built-in audience at all. There are a small minority of people who will go see a movie because it has Vidya in it. In this sense, she remains one of the most underrated talents in Bollywood.

So how does Vidya overcome these limitations and become a top tier actress instead of just an A-list one? If I knew the answer would I be wasting my time writing this blog? No. But I'll definitely be watching this particular career with interest.

How to get over heartbreak: a guest post by Mind Rush

2010-01-09T00:01:00.007-06:00

The Drift's Love Chakker guru Mind Rush returns with sage advice for the heart-broken beauties of Bollywood.

Heartbreak is in the air in Bollytown.

A pretty actress / model / athlete unceremoniously dumped by her towel-dancing boyfriend...

A recently-svelte actress being dragged along for a decade by her ho-hum BF without a ring or proposal or mandap in sight...

A cricket loving, dimples-n-cream complexioned heroine is suddenly all alone...

Yeah, heartbreak sucks! Mind Rush’s advice to these lonely beauties: REVENGE, NOT KLEENEX!

Revenge is sweet! Revenge is empowering! But what to do? It is a known fact that in the film industry power resides in relationships i.e. 'camps'. And these camps are headed by the not-so-fairer-sex. So what’s a dumped beauty to do?

Recent news reports got Mind Rush thinking…If men make more money, hold more power, they also get in more trouble. I have three words for the ladies: NO FLY LIST!

The United States has lowered it’s bar for inclusion on the No Fly List. So, here’s the scene: A girlfriend is dumped by a commitment phobic boyfriend. A devoted mom of two finds out that her husband has a mistress (or fifteen). A film-walla is trading his 30-something wife for a younger model.

No more tears! Ladies, dial the authorities. Share some (semi-fake) dirt. Voila, it’s done! Ex gets dumped by TSA and is grounded for life!

Three cheers for the No Fly List!

The music of Pyaar Impossible

2010-01-07T00:02:00.001-06:00

Its official! Priyanka Chopra is the patron saint of female singers in Bollywood.

While women vocalists struggle to find more than one decent song to sing in most movies, Priyanka's movies (the ones we talked about not so long ago) offer opportunities galore.

Of the five cuts on the soundtrack (composed by Salim-Sulaiman) for the terrifically cheesy looking new release Pyaar Impossible, women feature on all of five and headline four. PI's music is pure pop (there is one exception - but more on that later) and its squarely in what could be perceived as teen pop territory (the non-angst kind). But phirangi teen pop has grown up and become more complex in the last few years and so PI ends up sounding more Disneyfied than it probably wants to.

This is not to say it's not fun to listen to. For one, I was thrilled to hear Anushka Manchanda's turn in Alisha. She's a great voice for Priyanka Chopra and she not only makes this song her own but shows flashes of why she is a standout talent on the Bollywood scene. Alisha is full of catchy programming like a slapped bass line, short guitar riffs and a clap percussion - and this is useful because its is one LONG song (5m) but doesn't feel like one.

The standout song for me - and the one that breaks with the pure pop theme - is Benny Dayal and Neha Bhasin's You and Me. Set to a funk rhythm and embellished with nifty horns and spanish guitar licks - You and Me is a song about one-way love and has some deft lyrics by Anvita Dutt Guptan (who also wrote all the other lyrics).

There are four more tracks on the CD - all programmed by Clinton Cerejo - and vocalized by talent you won't find on most other filmi CDs. Dominique Cerejo (a big favorite of mine) sings a sexy duet with Vishal Dadlani (Pyaar Impossible), Mahua Kamath collaborates with her ex-Viva bandmate Anushka and Naresh Kamath on the entirely too flouncy 10 on 10 and Rishika Sawant sings Ek Thi Ladki, which has the catchiest pre-chorus you can hope you to hear on a pop song.

Pyaar Impossible opens on January 8.
Click on any linked song name to listen

You can listen to the music of Pyaar Impossible on Smashits
The official Pyaar Impossible website
The breakout success of Anushka Manchanda in 2009

Music Ka Maha Muqqabla: First Look

2010-01-05T21:11:00.006-06:00

Right off the bat you know that Music Ka Maha Muqqabla is special. Why?

For one, the last word has 'Q' in it twice - which is a deft indicator by the show's creator (Gajendra Singh) that this is entertainment by excess. True to his word Gajju delivers way too much singing (and not enough jhagdas if you ask me) and the same ghisa pita format over and over again.

Second, its got my gujju brother Himesh Reshammiya in it. But more on that later.

MKMM features six teams led by known music industry maharathis - Himesh, Shankar Mahadevan, Shreya Ghoshal, Shaan, Mika and Mohit Chauhan (and this is totally in order of popularity lest someone think I'm trying to be diplomatic and all). These teams are pitted against each other two at a time. The remaining four team captains act as judges and give points for each 'round'. The audience also weighs in: you get to see the Aunty Brigade pounce on their voting meters after every performance.

The show is replete with some really good singers: Raja Hasan, Vineet, Aabhaas, Rahul Vaidya, Himani Kapoor, Aneek Dhar. Some have gone on to build miniscule playback careers, others have hosted TV shows. One even has his own composing gig. All of them do shows like mad. Raja Hasan still does his 'achhaa insaan' bit but has it under control. Aneek still improvises (his re imagining of Love Aaj Kal's 'Twist' as 'Tweest' was revelatory). Himani retains her terrific voice.

Let's indulge ourselves in one of the Drift's favorite activities: smugly judging the judges. Instead of scores I'll give out grades.

Himesh Reshammiya

Grade: Himesh is beyond grades. In fact grades give chandaa to Himesh.

Usually our man is hyper-competitive and a magnet for fights. Sadly for us, Himesh has leashed his motor mouth - thus leaving only the hyper-competitive part behind. Fortunately, this is still enough to keep us entertained.

Once Shankar and Himesh had a 'match'. Shankar pulled strategy after strategy (this basically means he chose singers to perform for his team that surprised many). Himesh's smile disappeared from his face and he started looking worried. In the match finale, he pulled out all stops and did a desh bhakti medley. Hoping to impress the audience with nationalist fervor, he plastered an expression of radiant love (think Arun Govil in Ramayana) and sang loudly. He ended with tears in his eyes and blurted out "JAI MATADI JAI HINDUSTAN!!!". Wah Himesh - if you acted this well in your last two movies, your career wouldn't be in the can.

Himesh lost that match.

Shankar Mahadevan

Grade: B

Shankar is full of smiles and 'positive energy' in this show. He is the good Samaritan of the show - the voice of reason. This could become gagworthy but Shankar somehow pulls it off. He eschews jhagdas and entertains himself by saying all kinds of good things about Himesh.

Unfortunately on the show he once sang that clunker Maa - possibly the most annoying song of the decade if A. R. Rahman hadn't come up with Balooo. This unforgivable mistake affects Shankar's grade.

Shreya Ghoshal

Grade: A

I dig Shreya's presence on the show. She always sounds great and is a pretty good team captain as well. Its also much fun to watch her struggle not to roll her eyes whenever Himesh or Mika is up to no good. However, she takes this show entirely too seriously.

Shaan

Grade: B

A regular customer at singing competitions on TV, Shaan once got into a jhagda with Mika. Against all odds, he escaped unscathed from this attempted suicide and later managed to even patch up with Mika and establish decorum on the judges panel.

Often Shaan will enjoy a performance enthusiastically with his trademark smile - the one in which his eyes disappear. At other times he'll communicate his displeasure at a singer's performance by staring straight ahead but with his mouth hanging open like a goldfish. Either way, he's entirely too safe for a show like this.

Mika Singh

Grade: A+

Mika is a bit like Jack Black's character in Year One: he thinks he's totally jhakaas and no one else's opinion matters. Periodically Mika will interrupt proceedings and tell a chick how beautiful she is. He once gave way too many points to Neekita Nigam after a disastrous performance just because she looked cute. Another time he resolved an ill-concieved dispute between Sharib Sabri and Mohit Chauhan by jumping on stage and delivering a kick-ass performance while humping the audience.

Mohit Chauhan

Grade: C

Mohit appears on stage usually wearing a stubble and a fuddy duddy cap. He looks more like a golf caddy than the rock star he is. He is terribly quiet - most of his attempts at jokes fell flat both times. His steering of his team is like his judging - staid and his team suffers for it. Also, he's entirely too serious. Someone tune this man into the camp of this show, stat!

Star Plus

Grade: F

Once upon a time long ago, a show would be taped and the tapes would be aired. Then if the show needed to be telecast in another country, the tapes would have to be sent to the other TV station - by boat and later by plane. This would cause delays of up to a month before the show would be telecast in another country.

But Star Plus has incorporated cutting edge Internet technology into its process. Using the best the world has to offer, they've cut this delay down to only ONE WEEK! US viewers get to watch stale week old episodes. Thanks, Star Plus!

Prarthna Singh's pictures tell a story: Here's eight of her best

2010-01-02T06:08:00.057-06:00

Prarthna Singh photographs people with a unique sense of visual style. The people in her pictures seem to jump out at you and tell a story. Those stories seem to be playful, fluffy, fierce, funny, romantic, melancholy - in other words they are a lot like a Bollywood film. (I'm only partly joking.)

Prarthna works out of Mumbai and does 'random creatively challenging work' - freelance, editorial work and catalogs, designer looks, books and album covers. (I discovered Prarthna's work entirely by accident when I recognized a photograph of someone I knew while browsing Flickr)

I thought it would be cool to invite Prarthna to the Drift and have her tell us a little about her art and craft and do a show and tell of some of her best work.

Here is her story.

How it all began

I started taking pictures about six years ago, while I was studying at a liberal arts college in Florida. Two years into my course I realized I wanted to go to art school. I applied to The Rhode Island School of Design, got in and spent the next three years learning everything about film developing, scanners, lighting, camera formats and the general happiness of being surrounded by artists.

The making of a career

I then graduated out of that blissful bubble to the real world, which for me meant the move to New York. Here I got really lucky and was able to assist one of the finest and most sophisticated fashion photographers: Nathaniel Goldberg.

My days in NY were a struggle. I did all sorts of random jobs before I finally made the decision to move back to Delhi two years ago. I was willing to assist again but I only wanted to work with someone whose work I really admired. I was lucky to have Bharat Sikka let me assist him and help him put together his first major show in India. All of this time was the best learning experience for me.

For the past year I have been working as a freelance photographer in Bombay. I've done editorial work with Elle, Vogue, Grazia and Marie Claire. I've done Look Books, Catalogs, Album Art and anything that is creatively stimulating.

Where the inspiration comes from

There are a few photographers that I highly admire: Alec Soth, Bharat Sikka, Stephen Shore, August Sandler, Richard Misrach, Katy Grannan, Tim Walker, Pushpamala, Ryan McGinley.

I am a devoted sartorialist.

I'm also a huge magazine and photo blog junkie. I can spend days in the magazine section of a bookstore: AnOther, I.D.,Wallpaper, W, Fashion Magazine, V, European Vogues, Tank, Ten, Dazed and Confused, Foam...the list goes on.

What's the money like

Money is definitely not my top priority. It's important but I don't make it the deciding factor in the jobs I choose to do. In fact some of my best work has been with friends, collaborating on projects after waking up, throwing some clothes in a bag and deciding to do some photos - running in the fields, jumping, hanging.

I think what I enjoy most is the spontaneity of the medium. That 'let's do a picture' moment is what makes it all worthwhile.

Where is the money at

Editorial work does not pay as highly as Advertising does. Advertising and Bollywood are definitely where the money is at. Being new in the industry is tough, these are not the most easy fields to crack, especially since people in India are not ready to take too many risks. But hopefully things are changing for the better.

This is a Bollywood blog that hearts Abhay Deol and I've lensed Abhay

Abhay's shoot was quite spur of the moment. He's a friend so the atmosphere was pretty relaxed. I think it was a Sunday afternoon spent drinking beer, shooting, exchanging music and generally discussing the world around us.

For one he has a serious collection of awesome indie music so that's how I got paid for the pictures! But ya, he's really fun to be around, full of stories and again I admire him as an actor and the choices he's made with the films he's chosen to do so.

That's always a plus - working with people whose work you love, which in turn inspires you.

The people I'd like to lens...but haven't gotten to yet

One person I'd love to shoot with is Leonard Cohen and have him sing for me in return, all through the shoot or Jim Morrison or the Beatles when they were together... Adrian Brody, Johhny Depp. And being on a Wes Anderson set would be nice too.

The instruments of my passion

I just recently got the new Canon EOS 5D Mark II (super delicious camera). For lighting I use my Quantum flash, Metz flash or Broncolor lights. While shooting film I use a 4x5 film camera and Canon Powershot for my everyday documentation.

I'm a Canon promoter all the way. Their cameras definitely have an edge over the others and they make beautiful lenses. Also I love my Polaroid but sadly they stopped making film, so I'm saving every last one!

Show and Tell

1. This picture is of a budding actor and friend: Arjun Mathur - a wonderful young talent to watch out for. He did a brilliant film called Barah Anna and was also in Luck by Chance. He needed some photographs for a particular role he was auditioning for, hence the scar. (Make up: Natasha Nishcol @ fat mu)

2.I recently shot Gaurav Kapoor the funny funky VJ and actor. Whenever I shoot TV personalities or celebrities I'm cautious not go over the top when it comes to hair, make up, styling and lighting. I'm a minimalist at heart. Less is definitely more.

3.The picture of the red car and the girl in the green jacket have been shot in my neighbourhood, in Bombay. They are a part of an on going series of images that involve me investigating and documenting the environment I live in as a way of understanding myself better.

4.The girl in the picture is my one of closest and oldest friends who has to bear with my bizarre artistic moments. On one of our photo adventures we once visited Santa Cruz Police Station at 7 am. Yes, long story.

5.This image above is of a friend who is also one of India's leading models. We do a lot of random non-commercial work together for the love of art. She is playful, has wonderful energy and photographs like a dream.

6.An old friend had returned after months of traveling, with many stories to tell. We spent a day catching up and doing what we do best. This was a sun drenched memory from that afternoon.

7.This, of course, is Abhay Deol. (Hair by Susheel @ Mad O Wat)

8.This last image is also a friend and aspiring actor. We were shooting in and around Bandra when we stumbled upon this beautiful, bloody slaughter house. (Styled by Saurabh Diwedi)

Also:
Prarthna's work on Flickr
Prarthna on Twitter

Please don't use Prarthna's work without her prior permission. My stuff you can copy - you know the deal.

Box Office Ki Raani: Katrina versus Priyanka, Round 2

2009-12-27T08:53:00.001-06:00

Aishwarya Rai's marriage to Abhishek and the subsequent brakes she voluntarily put on her career resulted in a gap - a huge one - at the top. Several actresses were in pole position to make a bid for #1 (Kareena, Bipasha, Rani, Preity), which admittedly for female actresses remains a nebulous distinction (for e.g. its not necessarily tied to box office clout). The two most interesting contenders were relative newcomers: Katrina Kaif and Priyanka Chopra.

They've both gone about climbing the ranks with distinctly different career choices. The results were neck and neck in 2008. But in 2009, one actress pulled ahead. Its interesting to take a closer look at their career arcs because it results in an examination of Bollywood trends.

Katrina's breakthrough hit was Namastey London (Akshay Kumar, 2007). She has followed that up with a series of roles in movies starring tried and tested box office luminaries. In effect, she's been happy to play prop or second or third cog in the wheel. The strategy resulted in a really good year in 2008 - Katrina logged blockbusters with Welcome, Race, and Singh is Kinng. She became an instant internet goddess and a contender for Aishwarya's vacant position at the top.

Priyanka, on the other hand, made significantly different choices. She chose to sign fairly meaty roles - often at the risk of casting herself as the main draw opposite lesser known actors (remember Love Story 2050? No, well ok). Wisely (or un-suicidely, take your pick), she also made sure she signed up with big name actors. But this mixed strategy seemed to be going wrong last year (Drona, God Tussi Great Ho) until the arrival of Fashion, which not only delivered the biggest hit of Priyanka's career - but did so entirely on the back of Priyanka's name and performance. This was significant: was Priyanka on the way to becoming a star of Aishwarya's standing, tapping into a female demographic thus far inaccessible to most other female stars?

Priyanka's box office momentum was cemented by Dostana late last year, but a single movie ne kiye kare par paani pher diya. That unfortunate distinction belongs to What's your Raashee - a movie that would have vaulted Priyanka to the top because she would ended up with all the credit had Raashee not crashed and burned in cinemas.

Katrina, on the other hand, was happy to motor along as a part of the larger picture. Her strategy delivered a steady stream of hits in 2009: New York, Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani and De Dana Dan. None of her roles were particularly memorable or often less than one-dimensional, but nevertheless they clearly vaulted her to the top.

I'm left with the feeling that although Katrina delivered an impressive year, Priyanka delivered the more memorable one. It makes you wish that her bold choices - the bravery here is relative - are rewarded. Here, she has a problem. If she continues to headline movies she will have to hit her target demographic - which has to be women (box office rules dictate that men won't go to see a movie headlined by women unless vampires or tightly fitted leather outfits are involved). But to hit that demo she needs the help of female directors, who can tell the stories to connect with female audiences. She has none on the horizon - and the few who exist have had to be so much smarter than the men, that they've intellectualized themselves out of the range that can deliver a mainstream hit.

Priyanka has a couple of movies lined up with the Akthar family (Kismet Talkies - with a female director Zoya Akhtar) and Farhan Akhtar's Don 2 (one of the more memorable female roles in popcorn Indian cinema). Katrina's next big project is the multi-starrer Rajneeti (Ranbir, Ajay Devgun).

Let the games begin!

The great Indian snaan trick

2009-12-17T00:06:00.001-06:00

Just the other week the Drift Memsaab and I were on a long international flight. Memsaab decided to hang out at the back of the airplane, drink some chai and do general gup shup with the flight attendants.

Just as she is settling in, she notices a man dart into the toilet. While lolling around the Memsaab keeps track of time. 10 minutes go by and the man still hasn't emerged from the sandhaas. 20 minutes go by. No sign of the dude. When the duration hit 30 minutes, the Memsaab thought it prudent to point this out to the Attendant in case the man had suffered a stroke or other illness that might have rendered him motionless in the toilet.

The Attendant rolls her eyes and knocks on the door. There is an affirming grunt from behind the door. Then nothing. At least all seems well.

Another 10 minutes go by. Finally the door opens and the man comes out and runs off. The Memsaab decides to use the toilet. To her astonishment she finds water EVERYWHERE! Its all over the sink, the potty, the floor and the mirror. Memsaab comes out and decides to consult with the Attendant.

"Why is there water everywhere?" she asks.

The Attendant peers into the toilet, smiles and says: "Oh, sometimes we find that people try to take a bath in here"

SAY WHAT?! This revelation stunned me. Even when the Memsaab was guffawing telling me this story, I could barely crack a smile. Its not that I was particularly astonished by this - after all, people are capable of anything. But the mechanics of it bamboozled me. I questioned the Memsaab extensively and nope, the man did not seem to carrying any mug, lotaa or other receptacle in which water could be accumulated.

This means that for a bath the only instruments available to the chap were the 6oz paper cups or his cupped hands which would hold even less. So the man went in there - took off some or all of his clothes and in that super cramped space, proceeded to wash himself - 6 oz at a time. Someone who can't take a bath and hop on a 14 hour flight without feeling compelled to clean himself extensively again in mid-flight is truly committed to CLEAN!

Once I had this picture in my head - I was able to entertain myself endlessly throughout the flight by conjuring up the image on demand. Thus I was saved from having to watch Paying Guests on the in-flight "International" channel.

The Drift Bollywood Music Entertainers of 2009

2009-12-10T00:01:00.003-06:00

You could distinctly sense a change in Bollywood music in 2009. Soundtracks in 2008 came packed with 'hits' - songs that could be used in promos to veil the lack of a plot, showcase the stars and put people in seats with the promise of glamor and glitz. This year, OSTs began to mature a bit - focusing on songs that critics not too long ago would have dismissed as 'situational'.

We'll talk more about this change some other time, but for now here are the artists who entertained me hugely this year. My heartfelt gratitude to them for a terrific musical year.

Shankar Ehsaan Loy
Composers and makers of diverse, enduring songs for London Dreams and Wake Up Sid

A hugely talented, paagal and personable composer once told me "There is AR Rahman and then there is the rest of us". This year, SEL pulled ahead of the rest to ensconce themselves as the #2 composers in Bollywood.

They did this by delivering a powerful and poignant soundtrack for the movie London Dreams. Combining elements of arena rock with North Indian folk music (think lots of guitars and dhols), SEL deftly manipulated our emotions after setting up shop in our ears.

Earlier on the OST of Wake Up Sid, they changed their style to such an extent that they were unrecognizable. But the results were just as entertaining. WUS remains the best indiepop album recorded in Bollywood.

Sure Pritam had more hits than SEL - but SEL matured their sound this year into something original and unique.

(Thanks to Ehsaan for the awesome SEL pic)

Pritam
Composer and manufacturer of high profile hits from Love Aaj Kal, All the Best, De Dana Dan, Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani, Tum Mile

In 2009 important things (good and bad) seemed to happen to Pritam. Accusations of lifting tunes crawled to a near stop - in other words, Pritam grew in confidence and originality. Ironically, he stagnated - churning out tunes that were interchangeable between movies.

Still its hard to deny he had a huge year. He continued to operate in his customary fifth gear (dance songs) or first gear (ballads) with little in between - but he did those really well, cranking out the biggest tunes of the year.

Relying on delicious guitar licks, he created lead promo singles for Love Aaj Kal (Aahun Aahun), All the Best (Mein Jitni Martaba), Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani (Mein Tera Dhadkan Teri) and De Dana Dan (Gale Lag Ja).

Just when you thought he had played out his game, he delivered the finest set of ballads this year with the gorgeous CD for Tum Mile.

Vishal Bhardwaj, Hitesh Sonik, Clinton Cerejo
The music team of Kaminey

Mid-year Kaminey fired up the Indian music scene with its signature single - Dhan Te Nan (Vishal Dadlani, Sukhwinder Singh).

Essentially three compositions spliced together into six songs, the Vishal Bhardwaj composed Kaminey delivered art and commerce in one coiled package. Mohit Chauhan sang the overlooked rock ballad Pehli Baar Mohabbat, Sukhwinder performed trademark vocal duties on the club bhajan Fatak and Rekha Bhardwaj and Sunidhi Chauhan blended their voices seamlessly and melodiously on Raat Ke Dhai Baje.

Fittingly Kaminey remains the first OST in Indian music to pay tribute to its musical contributors with producers credits (Sonik, Cerejo) on the CD cover.

Neeraj Shridhar
Singer and Relentless Hit Machine

Neeraj Shridhar sing songs primarily for Pritam. But Pritam had a banner year and Neeraj rode that wave to deliver a seemingly endless stream of hits - more than any other singer in Bollywood this year.

Neeraj has a few attributes that makes him stand out. He has a voice quality that is distinct and interesting. His voice is commercial. And he can sing in angrezi with panache.

His best work this year was on Billu (Love Mera Hit Hit), Love Aaj Kal (Twist, Chor Bazaari), Kambakkht Ishq (Lakh Lakh), Do Knot Disturb (Bebo), Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani (Prem Ki Naiya), Dhoondhte Reh Jaoge (Yeh Aane Wala Pal) and Tum Mile (title track).

Shreya Ghoshal
Singer and Emergent Queen Bee of Bollywood Music

Shreya Ghoshal came into the year with a reputation as one of India's best soundtrack vocalists. But her mainstream reputation was based on her work on more traditional songs with jiggling, high Hindustani notes.

In 2009, Shreya set about correcting that by expanding her genre considerably. Called on to sing more than just sweet-voiced songs, she was tested on tracks that required her to sing in lower and straighter notes. Take the OST of Blue for example on which Shreya delivered three songs in different genres that broke from her usual portfolio: Aaj Dil Gustakh Hai (Nu Jazz), Fiqrana (Rock-Pop) and Rehnuma (Jazz).

What else did she do? How about beginning the journey to fill the considerable void left behind by Lata Mangeshkar, mounting a serious challenge to Sunidhi Chauhan as Bollywood's #1 female voice and singing flagship songs for virtually every music composer of note in the Indian film industry.

Vishal Dadlani
Singer and all-round Rock Star

We've talked about Vishal's ascent as one of Bollywood's go-to rocktastic singers. See here for more on why he is on this list.

A R Rahman
Composer, Delhi-6

ARR's Blue might not count as his best work, although his bravado entertained me for sure. Earlier this year he gave us one of his finest Bollywood CDs - the memorable Delhi-6.

Powered by Mohit Chauhan's unforgettable single Masakalli, the OST was full of typically diverse ARR gems: Rekha Bhardwaj's folksy traipse Genda Phool, Rahman's own brat pack ditty - the hugely underrated Rehna Tu and Ash King's soul-tinged Dil Gira Dafatan.

And ah yes, he won a few international awards (Oscar, Golden Globe) and although that wasn't for music he did this year, it sure was fun to watch!

KK
Singer, Dil Ibaadat

KK makes it to my list for one specific reason. I've always been on the fence about him: did that perfect near-monotone pitch drain his singing of emotion and make him a lesser singer?

On the soundtrack for Tum Mile, KK sang the greatest ballad of 2009 (Dil Ibaadat) and infused it with so much pain and passion that he made me feel all wimpy for a week and compelled me retract my opinion. The pleasure was all mine.

Also: Last year's Drift Music Entertainers.

How to deal with Tiger's Wood by guest blogger Sqeamish Reshammiya

2009-12-06T20:14:00.005-06:00

Namaste, Salaam aley kum, Marhaba, Hujambo, Konichiwa and wasup, my fans all over the world! You must be thinking: what is Squeamish doing on this phaltu blog? Well, no true fan of mine is too little important for me. After all, six crore paychecks are built Rs 100 ticket at a time.

Now when I was invited to write for this blog I was very sad about how one of my favorite athletes was being made badnaam. Yes, Tiger Woods is a true Sher Khan - he is a player on and off the field. So I want to give him advice. This is great promo for my movie Radio where I play a DJ who gives everyone advice.

What advice can I give him, right? We are so not similar, right? Wrong! We are very similar!

We have both been blessed with talent by God! I have composed no less than 300 super hit songs and Tiger Woods has won hundreds of tournaments. He is a true superstar like me. Women throw themselves at our feet. See, physically our situation is similar also. I am handsome but don't have a body-shody. Tiger has a kadak body, but the man is ugly. After all, women really come to us because of our world fame only.

Besides I have watched my brother Sullen Khan do this so many times I have learnt from the best. (Ballerina bhaabhi maafi, Sullenbhai has improved a lot after he met you). So here is my advice to Tigerbhai. It is short, sweet and simple.

You are screwed. Know it but admit nothing. That is correct mere dost - don't ever admit you messed around with all those women. If you do, it'll hound forever. Your sponsors will drop you. It is ALL ABOUT EMOTION, you see. Worse, you'll have to stop line maroing every chick you see in a bar!

Create an alias when calling women. When you use mobile, don't say "Hello this is Tiger...phalaan dhiknaa". What ghadhaa does that?! Instead use an alias from a completely different sport like say cricket. Yes, call yourself FirstSlip! Then your message to your mashooka will be "This is FirstSlip, turn off your caller id so my wife won't know you are calling!" Now you tell me, can she sell THAT voice mail to US Weekly?

Save your mashooka's number in your mobile. Yes, I know it sounds crazy but do it! Nothing makes the wife more suspicious than seeing an unknown number - especially one you answered! So save the number and give it a name: like "Charlie Sheen"! No, wait bad idea. How about "Shakti Kapoor"! $%&*! sorry, the brain isn't working much right now. Well, name her after the street she grew up and the name of her first pet. That always works.

Finally, my bhai - read THIS article very carefully to learn from another master.

I'll be dedicating my next song "Teraa Kusoor" to you as a sign of my support.

God bless, Squeamish.

Videonama 2: The inside story of Himesh Reshammiya's 'Mann Ka Radio'

2009-12-02T00:01:00.027-06:00

A few days ago, the Drift did an incisive analysis of the video for Kurbaan Hua. The next day a B-list Bollywood insider sent me an email and said "You are possibly the dumbest blogger with a laptop on the planet!" This encouragement stirred me up - enough to do another Videonama - this time involving my favorite singer and gujju brother: Himesh Reshammiya.

In the opening shot of the Mann Ka Radio video, Himesh trudges in. He is followed by a profusely sweating black woman whose breasts are flouncing like crazy. Himesh, inexplicably un-sweaty and with a smug expression on his face, continues his waddle forward.

There are two ways to interpret this: (a) Himesh has just done his business with the woman and is walking off, leaving another satisfied lover behind OR (b) Himesh has just beaten a black woman in a 100m sprint.

Either way two things are clear: (a) Himesh leaves black women in his dust AND (b) our man doesn't have sweat glands

Himesh walks straight into a roomful of nubile, writhing women who love his song and throw him meaningful, come-hither glances. But what does our man do? HE IGNORES THEM! Instead, wearing an expression of poetic sadness, he transfixes his gaze on something far beyond what the eye can see. Thus, Himesh conveys to us that carnal desires and pencil-thin East European chicks mean nothing to him. It is TRUE LOVE he is seeking.

Wait, what's this? Passion has arisen in Himesh. He's grabbing the mike like there's no tomorrow. Could Himesh have finally found his TRUE LOVE? Could it be....his own voice?!

Himesh is shamelessly being romanced by the studio. At one point a video monitor in the studio shows Himesh flanked by Sonal Sehgal on either side, only to be replaced by Himesh flanked by himself. My interpretation was that the studio had become sentient and was loving Himesh right back. The video ends with Himesh cosily ensconced in some futuristic harness with a microphone and earphones. Our man has come home to his love.

The powerful underlying message in this video is that true love doesn't have to always involve men, women, farm animals or inflatable material. True love could be between a man and machinery that loves him unconditionally and thus brings out the best in him.

Radio opens Dec 3. Good luck to everyone associated with the film!

Decoding the SUPER HITness of Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani

2009-11-28T00:01:00.001-06:00

While watching Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani, at one point I felt that I was watching a gigantic python swallowing itself tail first and enjoying the meal. It struck me then that the reason Ajab is on its way to becoming one of the top 3 hits of the year is not the movie itself but the timing of it.

Bollywood has numerous gag movies - which actors like Akshay Kumar and Paresh Rawal have made careers out of. It also has an ever-increasing trickle of self aware movies - those made by people who grew up watching Bollywood and who know make innumerable references to it in comic homage.

Director Raj Kumar Santoshi has combined both these genres - to deliver a lite movie that is dumb, smart and everything in between. It's about a happy go lucky bonehead (Ranbir Kapoor) who falls in love with a girl who shamelessly uses him (Katrina Kaif). That plot pretty much propels the movie.

But the cool thing about Ajab is that Santoshi decides, rather cleverly, when to make fun of a cliche and when to consume it in service of his movie.

He packs his movie with numerous cliches. Anaath lead? Check. Nasty stepmom? Check. Boy in search of manhood? Check. Heart of Gold? Check. Crazy, loyal friends? Check. Gruff, but loving father? Check. Doting mom? Check. That's the first ten minutes. More follow in such rapid succession.

Santoshi carefully wraps his movie around these...characters, alternating between exploiting tried and test Bollywood scenarios and making fun of them. One of the most entertaining things he does in the movie is that he turns the mood of a scene on a dime. A scene will have some zingy comedy motoring along and all of a sudden the whole scene will change to one of heart-wrenching emotion and in-between is just ONE beat! In order to accomplish this considerable feat without appearing entirely hokey, Santoshi instructs Ranbir to show wispy, longing looks to the camera. Additionally, he uses a violin. Simple, effective, not much effort needed to understand.

Santoshi has considerable slapstick in his movie. He counters this roughness with some fine basic filmmaking. The production design is great, the costumes work most of the times (Katrina Kaif is dressed brilliantly in the movie), the set designs - barring one song in a sports bar - show the fruits of labor.

In a market saturated with movies that are either too low brow or entirely too clever, here is a director who tried to bring Clever to Low-brow and made it work. It's not entirely surprising that audiences - who miss old Bollywood but are too tired of its cliches to waste three hours on it - responded to that.

Ajab has made over Rs 55 crores at the box office so far.

The Ajab preview

The Music of Paa

2009-11-24T00:01:00.004-06:00

If I made you close your eyes and played you the Karaoke version of the OST for Paa, you wouldn't be faulted for thinking you had tuned in to any one of America's multitude of smooth jazz radio stations. (I have upside-down views on legal ownership and copyright, so this is just an observation).

Paa gives Bollywood listeners the rare opportunity to listen to the work of a much respected and decorated composer like Ilaiyaraaja so it's worth talking about.

What has Ilaiyaraaja done with this soundtrack? He's created a clutch of songs that sound like lullabies or hymns for children. But the music he's programmed around it is polished. Whether its intentional or not, it seems to fit in perfectly with the theme of the movie which is about a kid (Amitabh Bachchan) who ages physically at an accelerated rate.

Ilaiyaraaja uses simple melodies with simple lyrics. Twice he employs a chorus. Once he uses a younger singer. He keeps the lyrics straight and uses his instruments sparingly, often one at a time to construct linear tunes. Because Ilaiyaraaja uses a jazz-pop format in a lot of the songs, he is able to create instant sophistication to offset the simple tunes and lyrics. At all times, he fills his songs with more hooks than a fish and tackle shop.

Most notably he uses Shaan and Sunidhi Chauhan in ways they are rarely used. (There is a flagship song with a cool slapped bass called Mudhi Mudhi that he gives to the sensational Shilpa Rao - but more on her in another post).

Shaan sings Gali Mudhi Ittefaq Se as a slow burn. Because Shaan has a lovely timber to his voice, he is able to bring a sense of solitude and wonder to the song without sacrificing its pop sensibilities.

Sunidhi is entrusted with the lullaby Hichki Hichki and asked to reign in her powerful voice. Hichki is a bubbling brook of a song, evoking mischief and playfulness - and this is entirely done without help from Sunidhi who sings in straight notes. Instead Ilaiyaraaja uses a tumbling funk rhythm to give the song its bounce.

There are more tricks like this worth listening to on the OST - often Ilaiyaraaja patiently lets an instrument shine with delicious licks. On the gorgeous play-anthem Gumm Summ, he has his vocals and his backing chorus sing lines alternately before breaking out into a piano solo.

There is no hip-hop or R&B on this album and because of the way our ears have been tuned in recent times, Paa evokes a sense of lilting old Bollywood in new clothing.

More:
The songs of Paa on Dhingana
The official web site of Paa

Videonama: The hidden language of 'Kurbaan Hua'

2009-11-22T14:59:00.003-06:00

Regardless of the hoopla surrounding Kurbaan (and its good when a movie that tackles a multi-faceted subject evokes a lot of debate - no matter how ludicrous), I haven't seen it yet. But what I have been enjoying is the video for the song Kurbaan Hua.

For a film that deals with Muslim identity and conflict, it's flagship video is chock full of biblical imagery. Now you could tell me "Dude, all monotheistic religions are inter-derivative". To which I'd say "Dude, if I wanted a lesson, I'd go to school". It's much more fun looking at moving pictures instead.

This image conjures up visions of sin, punishment and the seeking of absolution. Why is it raining? Rain = time tested symbol for Outpouring of Emotion, usually sadness or regret.

A rose explodes into flames - which could mean many things: (a) A romance that went up in flames (b) A love that became the source of betrayal or (c) a new, really funky Food Network show with Rose Flambé recipes.

The unabomber look on Saif conjures up mystery and danger. Leaves swirling around represent an impending storm. Plus, it's all a buildup for an Ooh moment when Saif takes off the jacket and does his best to look sexy with his hair flying around.

A barking, rabid BLACK dog evokes the feeling of being hunted. Dog owners should unite and protest this kind of stuff if you ask me.

A woman dressed in tattered lace appears with kohl streaked eyes - which led me to believe that Kurbaan is about a woman who starts with the expectation of a good life that ends up horribly wrong.

A woman tries to escape her fashion choice. Since Vidya Balan is not in this movie, you have to believe there is another interpretation here. Let's try this: Fashion represents Life, you do the math.

Well, we all know what a circling vampire chick means. Wait, actually I don't! What DOES this add up to?

The story of Adam and Eve is well-documented in the Quran. Here Eve succumbs to temptation and Satan is a green (the color of envy, one of those deadly sins) slithering snake. Why are Adam and Even wearing glitter makeup on their faces and leaves in their hair? Its cinematic!

Easily the most awesome imagery in the song. A girl achieves a state of extreme yogic control and starts levitating while Saif frets underneath. Her passive expression and spreadeagled arms seem to represent crucifixion and a sense of being prosecuted while innocent.

Great balls of fire! One of my favorites. Actually its concentric rings of fire - but they'll do. Saif is in the middle. Saif is trapped! Or this is a movie about a circus - which we know it isn't (but that depends on your point of view)

You can watch the video for Kurbaan Hua on YouTube. Music by Salim-Sulaiman. Vocals by Vishal Dadlani. Hugely entertaining video, guys - congratulations!

Thanks to Dilli Ki Sardi for the link to the controversy surrounding the movie

The music of 3 Idiots

2009-11-19T00:01:00.002-06:00

There are a few things to note about Shantanu Moitra, who is the music composer behind the OST for 3 Idiots. Musically, he seems to favor simple, minimal arrangements - focusing on the mood and theme of the song. But the mood that pervades most of his songs is that of laid back introspection. Even when he's composing a high energy song, its more filled with gleeful energy than any overt paagalpan.

If Shantanu's music doesn't ease the tension in your shoulders after a hard day at work, nothing might.

Such compositions rarely become huge hit singles because they lack the glitz and pizzaz. But the songs are always tightly integrated with the movie, sacrificing hit potential in favor of dramatic consistency (for e.g. no need for shy movie kanya suddenly dancing like a vixen in a promo song).

This comes at a price - big studio releases require super hit songs to settle grab a viewer's flitting attention, thus driving that person into a theater seat come opening weekend.

3 Idiots is the biggest movie of the composer's career. I was curious to see if the resulting pressure would cause him to bolt from his usual style. It didn't - as a result 3 Idiots is signature Shantanu: it won't stick to your ears immediately. But it is, in my opinion, a sharp, smart piece of work.

So what is the CD itself like? Its a bit like a story - it opens with the romp All izz Well, which is an establishing song (new musical term I'm borrowing from cinematography) - used to lay out location (campus) and establish a back story (ignorance is bliss). Because Sonu Niigaam sings the song, we get comedy packaged in superlative melody. Shantanu creates a nifty wind up lead to the chorus and uses inserted sounds and the chorus to propel the off-kilter nature of the track.

Zoobie Doobie (Shreya Ghoshal, Sonu Niigaam) is laid out as homage to the great Hindi love songs of the 60s - the composer runs a bass guitar on an amped down jive beat and adds piano licks and backing vocals in bursts to evoke the sound of Hollywood 40s (also known as Bollywood 60s). Its a little predictable, but its delicate and pretty.

On the third song Sonu sings on this CD - Jaane Nahi - Shantanu alternates between reflection and drama. He starts the tune quietly with an acoustic guitar and almost immediately makes Sonu sing the first verse stridently with a bass drum. Its a pattern that continues through the song.

There are other songs on the OST that I recommend you explore - Shaan sings the introspective metaphor for an identity crisis - Behti Hawa and Suraj Jagan shows us some of his supple range on the director's comment, the Dylanesque Give Me Some Sunshine (spoken word by Sharmaan Joshi).

My personal thanks to Shantanu for the help in understanding the CD thematically

New Saas-Bahu TV: Inspired by ads!

2009-11-17T00:01:00.016-06:00

Just the other day, suffering from Dus Ka Dum withdrawal, I turned on the TV to watch some songs. A commercial break ensued. The commercial had a woman twiddling a mobile. Hmm, I thought, an ad for Nokia maybe. A few moments later I noticed massive pimples on the woman's face. Hmm, I thought, an ad for zit cream maybe? Neither! The whole shebang turned out to be an ad for a saas-bahu serial.

So what is the difference between a saas-bahu premise promo and a commercial? None! I spent the major part of an hour watching the promos for saas-bahu serials and each time they looked like an advert for something. My hats off to the writers of the serials who can take a wafer-thin premise and turn it into a daily soap.

In any case I got down to thinking. Why not make the whole serial a massive commercial? Many advantages come to mind. First, there would be a ready sponsor - so the serial would come completely financed. Next, the premise would actually make sense. Third, heck its happening anyway - lets just make it official.

To get this whole idea started, I brainstormed a bit and came up with the following ideas for marrying sponsors and entire saas-bahu serials. The commercial is built in!

VIP Kkachhe Ka Kamaal

Anil is a loser because no chick will go out with him. Then one day his mates force him to play strip poker - which he proceeds to lose. Down to his underwear and near fatal humiliation something amazing happens. The college princess - Avantika - walks over and says "Yeh to badaa toing hai!" Anil's confidence skyrockets and his life takes a turn.

Value proposition: Each episode deals with a crisis of confidence solved by donning a VIP underwear.

Nokia Teri Meri Baate

Arjun and Jasmine come from families that are in a long standing feud. But fate plays a hand. One day Jasmine dials the wrong number and connects with Arjun's mobile. They talk and fall in love. Unable to meet in person because of khandaani dushmani, they talk on the phone each day and plot to reunite their families.

Value proposition: Arjun and Jasmine talk in every episode using Nokia mobiles

Fair & Lovely Mere Aiyeene Mein

Gayatri is gorgeous, but she's dark. So no one will marry her. Worse her younger sister is the town hottie but has to turn down rishtaa after rishtaa while she waits in line (they are both from a 'traditional' family you see). About to commit suicide by jumping off a ledge, Gayatri notices a tube of F&L carelessly thrown nearby. Gayatri goes home and uses it. Boys start noticing her! But are they attracted to her personality or her light skin?

Value proposition: Fair & Lovely is featured promptly in every episode AND accompanied by hokey girl empowerment message about finding someone who loves you for what you are on the inside.

Tilda Basmati Daney Alag Bhojan Ek

The neighborhood of Patli Gali are a troubled lot - they belong to different religions. Not to mention talk in all kinds of funky accents. The Parsi dude is especially afflicted as he thinks everyone's name is dikra. Every festival brings out the worst in everyone. But one day an old Christian lady called Naani-amma (yes, heavy handed but this is a saas-bahu after all) makes a potful of fragrant basmati rice that is so sumptuous that everyone drops their jhagda and eats at the same table.

Value proposition: Each episode has a neighborhood dinner scene featuring a potful of steaming Tilda Basmati.

Mint-o Fresh Tere Saaso Ki Mahek

Mahek is a loser because no guy pays her attention. One day she finds a Mint-o Fresh in her pesky younger brother's shirt pocket and pops it into her mouth. Instantly a handsome guy throws himself at her feet. Mahek decides to use a Mint-o Fresh to run through all the boys she can lay her eyes on and find her true love.

Value proposition: Undesirable girl eats Minto-o Fresh and lands guys by the bushel. Yes, anyone can get laid - and its cheap!

Hajmola Khaate Peeta Ghar Ki Kahani

The Varma family head - Roy Varma - is a moneybags tycoon. But a heart attack lays him low and he has to call on his three sons - Joy, Boy and Toy - to run his business. Rivalries spring up instantly among the brothers and strike at the heart of this joint family. Into the lives of the Varma family enters a young, soft-spoken but firebrand cook called Haj Mola. Using his unique brand of Yoda-like wisdom and cunning, Haj Mola brings peace to the turmoil in the Varma family.

Value proposition: The classiness of metaphors is used to offset the fact that this is a commercial for Number Two relief.

Aamir Khan and Akshay Kumar at the Box Office: Karma runs on hair!

2009-11-11T00:03:00.002-06:00

A long time ago, I noticed a strange co-relation between the box office performance of two of our biggest stars - Aamir Khan and Akhsay Kumar - and the length of their hair. (Original post: Aamir and Akshay at the Box Office: A hair raising trend)

I predicted the box office performance of their upcoming movies purely on the basis of how they would wear their hair. Hells Bells! I was right. Clearly, I had stumbled on something that renowned physicists or any of UK's hot line Pandit Maharajs or Peer Sahibs were unable to figure out.

It's time to take a look at Aamir and Akshay's hair-raising performance again and make another set of predictions.

The shorter Aamir Khan's hair is, the better his movie performs at the box office. Based on the data below, my prognosis for his upcoming 3 Idiots is that it will be a hit - somewhere in between the general hitness of Fanaa and Tare Zameen Par. Why? Because the length of his hair in 3 Idiots is somewhere in between.

Aamir's Movie	Length of Hair	Box Office
Mangal Pandey (2005)	Long	Flopistan
Fanaa (2006)	Medium	Hit!
Tare Zameen Par (2007)	Short	Super Hit!!
Ghajini (2008)	Miniscule	Blockbuster!!!
3 Idiots (2009)	Short	Prognosis: Super Hit!

The box office performance of Akshay Kumar goes down the shorter his hair is. In this he is the opposite of Aamir Khan. Check out the table below for definitive proof. The anomaly in there is his 2009 hit Kambakkht Ishq in which his hair was short (not to mention it had been chewed at from the front by a parrot-like bird or small animal). But we all know that this was a movie that was a hated by everyone except Akshay, his producer and Kareena (because she got to stick it to mom with that Skinemax performance). So it doesn't count.

Fortunately for Akshay, happier times may be just around the corner. He wears his hair at medium length in his upcoming comedy De Dana Dan. My prognosis is that it will be a hit. Hang in there Akki, happy days are here again!

Akshay's Movie	Length of Hair	Box Office
Bhool Bhulaiyaa (2007)	Medium	Hit!
Tashan (2008)	Short	Flopistan
Singh is Kinng (2008)	Long	Super Hit!
Chandni Chowk to China (2009)	Short	Flopistan
8x10 Tasveer (2009)	Short	Flopistan
Kambakhht Ishq (2009)	Short	Hit! (what yaar?!)
Blue (2009)	Short	Flopistan
De Dana Dan (2009)	Medium	Prognosis: Hit!