Aspi's Drift

The magical art of Shruti Nelson

2011-01-17T19:37:00.000-06:00

Baroda artist Shruti Nelson paints a lot of of fascinating and unexpected objects in her work: cars, scooters, motorcycles, animals, women, castles. What make her paintings magical is how she unites these objects in an almost supernal way. Her paintings can be gossamer delicate, yet strong, layered, complex and dazzling.

Shruti's been painting a lot lately. She's collected all of her recent works and will have them on display at the Hacienda Gallery, Kalaghoda on January 24th.

Her paintings seem to have such a diverse gathering of influences that I decided to try and find out more about what inspires her and how it comes together in her work.

Shruti is a terrific person to converse with. She's down to earth, warm, overflowing with thoughts and ideas, and full of positive energy. I had this conversation with her sitting in her studio in Baroda and sorrounded by her stunning paintings.

The full interview is on Line of Sight

New maal on Times of India

2011-01-05T20:31:00.004-06:00

Contrary to the generally held opinion that I've lost my off-the-wall sense of humor, I very much have it. Its the wall that's missing. That was a joke. Hmm, maybe I have lost it.

Links to some of my posts on my Times of India blog Line of Sight.

Interviews

The weirdly wonderful art of Haren Vakil
Haren chats about how those unique #QuirkyNativeAmusingCuriousCurveball paintings come together.
Inside the background score of Guzaarish
One of the most highly awaited movies of the year (alas, it flopped) was scored by Parik and Tubby. I've been trying to get Parik to do an interview for years. I finally did and learned much about background music.
Inside the music of Break Ke Baad
Vishal-Shekhar hired Mikey McCleary to produce their CD for the Imran-Deepika starrer. Mikey changed their sound by giving the songs an exuberant pop feel.
Vishal Dadlani talks about Anjaani Anjaana
The songs for this movie ranks among Vishal-Shekhar's finest work. Vishal dissects each song and also talks about how he's tired of hearing his own (very popular) voice.
Antara Mitra's journey from Indian Idol to Rajneeti
Antara was a top 3 finalist on Indian Idol. She talks about how she ended up singing that killer song on Rajneeti.
The unsettling art of Sonatina Mendes
One of my favorite artists talks about her work
Sania-Shoaib: Should they or shouldn't they?
My favorite astrologist and numerologist is back! I interview Tigermaasi for her take on the controversial union.

Box Office Musings

Why Hindi movies will get shorter: Part 1: Popcorn!, Part 2: Money! and Part 3: Length!
Think: multiplex effect. I try to map some lessons learnt from multiplexery (yes, I made up that word) in the US to how it might change the market in India
Indian Movie Promos: Its complicated!
Bollywood runs on music. This complicates how you promote movies.
How to enjoy Rajneeti for free!
A number of themes run through Rajneeti. You can find all those themes available for your enjoyment for free! Unfortunately no one listened to me and went to see Ranbir and Katrina anyway.
The biggest gainers and losers of 2010 at the box office
A number of names had banner years at the cash registers. Others didn't. I list out the ones who did the best and got hammered the most.

Movies

Rajni vs Rajni vs Rajni in Endhiran
More spectacle than movie, Endhiran was dubious and entertaining
Decoding the super hitness of Dabangg
India's biggest hit in 2010 was loved by audiences. I try to understand why
Eat Pray Snore
Julia Roberts' big movie put me to sleep
The drama behind the Girl with the Golden Tattoo
Charting author Steig Larrson's stunning rise to top of the entertainment charts
Sex and the City 2: The experience
I watch history's biggest chick flick on opening day and survive

Music

Music's biggest entertainers in 2010
The usual year end look at who entertained us the most through the year
The music of Aisha
Amit Trivedi's first mainstream score was a delight. I discuss his music and his work on this particular CD.
The music of Kajraare
The composer everyone loves to hate is back! And on this CD, you can't get away from his voice.
New Bollywood Music: Best of the rest Part 1and Part 2
Songs that didn't get as much love as they should have
The music of Rajneeti
This CD has songs cobbled together from multiple composers. But the songs were terrific anyway!
The evolution of Pritam
Pritam is on his way to becoming a huge brand like RD Burman. This post traces his journey from start to current mega-composer status.

Weirdness

Postergyaan series: Part 1 and 2
Looking at the subtle messages coded into movie posters
Trailernama: Kites
I take a close, very close, look at the trailer of Kites
Interpreting the dhaasu tweets of Salman Khan
As entertaining as he is on TV, Salman sometimes outdoes himself when the format is informal. I take a look at his tweets and try to decipher what he is really trying to say

Graphic Novels

Ramayana: The divine loophole
Sanjay Patel works at Pixar. He brings his animation sensibilities to a timeless tale

Counselling

Milenge Milenge: How to work again with your filmi ex
Resident therapist Mind Rush discusses how Shahid and Kareena can continue to work together fruitfully

Shankar Ehsaan Loy's long awaited US tour is here!

2010-07-06T22:22:00.002-05:00

There is reason for fans of Indian music in the US to rejoice this summer. Shankar Ehsaan Loy will be here for a series of dates that will see them start on the East Coast, criss-cross over America and finish in August in Boston. If you aren't in one of the big metros that will feature on of their concerts, hopefully you'll be close enough to one.

There are some really good reasons to catch them live this summer.

SEL, made up of Shankar Mahadevan, Ehsaan Noorani and Loy Mendosa, are one of India's most original music composers. Each of them are accomplished musicians in their own right. But its their unique styles that powers their distinctive sound. When SEL composes songs, you can expect to hear modern arrangements with a very Indian flavor. They'll do rock, blues, dance, ballads and Hindustani with ease, often blending several of these genres in one song (London Dreams). When you least expect it, they'll stick to just one genre and produce a memorable chart buster, be it rock (Rock On!!) or pop (Wake Up Sid).

They are at the top of their game. SEL's success has made them highly in-demand composers (they also produce their songs). They are right behind A R Rahman in terms of musical credibility in Indian films. In terms of chartbusting success, they duke it out with Pritam for the #2 spot. Most importantly, they are voracious concert performers. Their act is finely honed, rousing and entertaining.

They get by with a little help from their friends. SEL will be joined by three notable singers: Shafqat Amanat Ali, Richa Sharma and Mahalaxmi Iyer, the latter two of which are among my favorites.

To get you warmed up:

Maha unleashes her inner rebel on Ni Mai Yaar Manana Ni
Richa belts out one of my favorite songs Maahi Ve
Shafqat performs the immersive Aakhon Ke Saagar
Shankar and Ehsaan talk about their US tour

July 17: New Jersey. Tix: (201) 805-9426
July 18: Toronto Sky Dome. Tix: Mohinder Singh, Eglinton Carpet (416) 783-1141 / (416) 407-0000
July 23: Chicago Rosemont Theatre. Tix: Sahil & LA Tan (773) 764-7576
July 24: SFO Oakland Arena. Tix: Mehta Entertainment (510) 785-2300 or (877) 445-8517
July 30: Washington D.C. Constitution Hall. Tix: Menu Sabharwal (703) 989-1289
July 31: Dallas Garland Special Event Center. Tix: Mehta Production (972) 971-9095 or (972) 398-3828

August 1: Los Angeles The Forum. Tix: Mehta Entertainment (877) 445-8517 or (510) 785-2300
August 6: Houston Berry Center. Tix: Rajinder Singh, StarPromotions (281) 345-4500
August 7: Atlanta. Tix: Raheem Paracha (770) 899-4737
August 8: Boston. Stay tuned for details.

Linkety to New Posts

2010-05-05T21:51:00.002-05:00

I've been writing a few posts for my new Times blog (Line of Sight). I just haven't had time to update Drift. But I'll say this: I'm trying to recreate some of the same fun I had writing Drift over at LoS and I think with time I'll get there.

Here are a few new posts if you'd care to check them out.

Trailername: Reviewing the trailer of Kites
Hrithik and Barbara Mori's new flick opens May 21st. What is that thing? A romance? A thriller? An action flick? And 'the great betrayal' that the films bandies about. Well, we can all see that coming for a mile no?

Indian Idol Season 5: First Look
One of my favorite shows begins. And guess who's back?

Interpreting the dhaasu tweets of Salman Khan
I've been reading Salman's tweets for days. I'm convinced he is India's one true genius! At once playful, cheesy and with a razor sharp eye for finding the art in the everyday.

The evolution of Pritam
Plagiarist or Genuis? A closer look at the man who has his finger on the pulse of Youngistan.

The unsettling art of Sonatina Mendes
One of my favorite artists from Baroda talks about her work.

Sania and Shoaib: Should they or shouldn't they?
An interview with Tigermaasi who pulls the kundlis of the newly minted pair.

Will Hindi movies get shorter? Parts 1: Popcorn!, 2: Money! and 3: Length
Really, what drives Hollywood movies to be shorter? Will that work for Hindi movies also?

Postergyaan: The secret language of movie posters
A look at a few new posters of Bollywood movies and what they are really telling us.

What's your Line of Sight?

2010-04-05T04:33:00.000-05:00

Ever wanted to know why Hollywood movies became short and if that same thing will happen to Hindi films? Actually movies in the US are getting longer and movies in India have been getting shorter for years. But hey, we are talking about decade long trends here!

That's a new post on a new blog that I'm writing for Indiatimes. I should have called the blog Manoranjan Planet but during a particularly tequila fueled brainstorming session I decided to call it Line of Sight (LoS) instead. Don't ask me why - its the first time I've become less fun and more staid after a few drinks.

I'm doing this blog for a number of reasons. I wanted to try out something different. I was curious to see how to build a blog in a crowded space. I wanted to bring irreverence and wackiness to a generally well-behaved section of the media. I wanted to see if I could score a press pass to go see Indian Idol.

Will I succeed? Will I fail? Will I get my ass sued? Will people bitch me out? You can watch me humiliate myself on that blog - massive risk taker that I am. Speaking of which, let's start with the artwork. Bad enough! Comments? Moderated! But I'll be gaining more control over style and format and hopefully over the type of content I can put out as the weeks go by and will have the opportunity to put some changes in place.

If you have some spare cycles I'd love for you to read LoS and tell me what you think.

What does this mean for the Drift? I'll have less time to update it. But it'll free me up to write some really nasty posts - hey how about that last one?

Hum Tum Aur Ghost: The V Word

2010-04-01T22:09:00.002-05:00

The title song for the Arshad Warsi 'I see dead people' comedy Hum Tum Aur Ghost - is the first Bollywood song that has the word 'vagina' in it. But more on that in a bit.

The album, composed by Shankar Ehsaan Loy, is full of - you know - those masti type songs.

This particular song is engineered to be a club hit and because its a title song, its supposed to tell us something about the movie. It tells us this: ghosts aren't what you think they are. In fact, they are stylish, awesome and can teach you valuable lessons in life.

The considerable task of conveying all of this falls on the able shoulders of Javed Akhtar. Javedji strives manfully and delivers gems like: 'dikhaaya mar ke humne / hum mar ke dilwaale hain.' Yes, there's not much a lyricist can do in this situation except work hard for their money.

Once you swallow the conceit of this song, the skipping beat really gets to you. SEL break the song down with dhols for the chorus. They do this quite a lot these days - but it does sound good.

There's a bit of a chorus that starts off the song. Vishal Dadlani sings the first two lines. Then Shankar Mahadevan shows up and sings 'mere vagina hai'! Javedji, what happened? That's just bad Hindi unless the character really has multiple privacies.

But its a step in the right direction. Female body parts need to be discussed in Hindi songs in ways that do not demean or trivilize them. And if you have one, why not declare it with pride. In the video, this distinction falls on Arshad Warsi - looking sexy with his gruff good looks packaged in snappy threads.

Ok, well maybe it just sounds like vagina in the song.

By the way director Kabeer Kaushik, watched Ghost Town have we?

You can listen to all the songs of Hum Tum Aur Ghost on dhingana

Interpreting the EPIC tweets of Shahid Kapoor

2010-03-26T00:04:00.000-05:00

Bollywood celebrities now tweet in droves.

But among the sometimes cool, sometimes mediocre, sometimes nutty celeb masses, there is a genuis: Shahid Kapoor. Shahid is engaging and endearing on twitter. He shares his life without concern and really tries to connect with fans.

A few months ago, he emitted what is possibly the greatest tweet in the history of Bollywood tweeting. He said. "Nini not coming man...". For some reason, I find that funny, super-cool, profound and touching. It will be the name of any new personal blog I start.

But often Shahid's tweets get heavy and dense. Here I'd like to step in and reinterpret them for you. Hopefully it will motivate you to follow one of Bollywood's brightest twitteratis.

Tweet: whats up people up for some q n a go for it
Translation: Ask me questions I'm bored

Tweet: mornin all bak on set today after a while shootin a video for badmaash should b fun then a photoshoot for peta
Translation: I'm busy working

Tweet: woke all long day tom sleep tight shabbakhair
Translation: I'm awake but I clearly have a hangover

Tweet: KEEP IT REAL
Translation: I'm hopeless in Bollywood

Tweet: live the life u wanna live people n statr nw jus make sure ur not convenient with people be straight up tats wat i mean whenever i say
Translation: Sometimes my mouth gets me in trouble

Tweet: i question everythin i do all the time kinda like did i do the right thig or not dnt know if tats gud or not
Translation: I'm a self-doubter

Tweet: when u share ur life with others life begins to find its meaning n the time u touch the life of another is the time u truly start living
Translation: I just read a self-help book

Tweet: children really r the purest souls n the happiest ones too let them enjoy their childhood too much pressure on em to perform
Translation: I'm trying to snag some chicks with cuteness and promoting my upcoming film which has kids in it

Tweet: bak home tired n drained butr content
Translation: I work hard for my money

Tweet: wassup pple longest day 5 radio stations 8 hrs of talkin from andheri to parel happy to b talkin bout paahshala children education relevent
Translation: Massive press junket time

Tweet: woke people sleep tight shabbakhair
Translation: Good morning

Tweet: i really feel the strongest form of love is surrender although we all know most things r out of our control we still like to believe that
Translation: I read another self-help book

Tweet: also its amazin hw some past memories have such strong associations things we forgot seem to become alive again
Translation: I'm missing you know who

Tweet: amazing hw sometimes feelings r so strong u feel almost controlled by em had a day like that sometimes answers to things r jus not there asmuch as u may search
Translation: My head hurts from thinking

Tweet: Is of no use pourin clean water in a dirty vessel so pour luv on those who r capable of acceptin it unadulterated :)
Translation: I had to clean the dishes today. I'd much rather read a self-help book

Tweet: Most just care when it suits em they say luv is da only thing which the more u give the more it grows but there is also this sayin that it
Translation: My girlfriends all suck!

Tweet: Eventually as far as the basics r met life is gud n keepin it simple is jus the way to b do wat makes u happy wat makes u smile n jus dnt Thin bout the bad stuff .. Jus deal with it .. I luv this sayin 'let ur worries die of neglect'
Translation: Talking is for nitwits. Just ignore the pain.

Tweet: most of the time v r jus lukin to do somethin to keep ourselves occupied so we dnt start thinkin bout life n all that we feel bout wher we r N u realize actually we give too much imp to so many things cause basically we have nuthin better to do .. :)
Translation: I'm looking for work. Anyone?

Get with the cool and follow Shahid on twitter

Love Sex Aur Dhoka: The greatest hits of Katrina Kaif

2010-03-19T13:11:00.001-05:00

Sometimes fake can be better than real. Most of the time, actually, when it comes to Bollywood. Now I know fake Facebook profiles might seem annoying to many, but with a little imagination you can make it into fun time pass!

Katrina Kaif has a fake FB fan page. She actually shows up and writes something every now and then and sounds suspiciously not like Kat. She also gets occasional posts from other female celebs that sound suspiciously not like themselves either!

But that doesn't stop hordes of hopefuls from coming and maroing a line (or three).

Here are the best of Katrina's (often suspicious) fans.

is it u katrina tell me whats ur sisters name and when is she coming in bollywood

Couple off days ?? Don´t be lazy, girl. You need a P.A. personal assistant...... where can I send my resume... holla

Aishwarya RaiBachchan: Hope you feel better kat

this really looks like a fake profile..why don't you have any super star added in your friend's list?:O

hello didi!!!!!!!
what's up ????????????

hey katrina uplaod sum other pics in which u luk very cute

how is ur hindi if good teel me what u speak railway station in hindi?

plz baji change ur profile pic n put it any pic in which u r wearing a hair band plllllllllllllzzzzzzzzzzz u look soooooo sweeeeeeet plzzzzzzzzzzzz

do u have a new movie with hritik roshan some like harper's bazaar

thank you for friendship me. i loved you in khabi khushi khabhi ghum.

Hi katrina .... (if it iz really u ) ♥ ♥ ..
but y is it dat yor yahoo mail id listed here shows d profile 2 b created by a man from maryland ????????? plz clarify dis fact ..

hi didi............m callin u didi coz u r elder than me.........:-)

I is gay. Fix me.

Gay dude, best of luck and don't get your hopes up. Now Fake FB Katrina seems to have a fake Katrina twitter account which she keeps insisting is hers. Here are some of her choicest tweets. Clearly Fake Kat is a serious intellect at work.

People are pretty much alike. It's only that our differences are more susceptible to definition than our

Women have served all these centuries as looking glasses possessing the magic n

delicious power of reflecting the figure of a man at twice its natural size.Happy Women’s Day

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other

Hey how funny would it be if this was the REAL Katrina Kaif?!

The 55th Filmfare 2010 Drift Awards

2010-03-12T09:18:00.005-06:00

The 2010 Filmfare Awards - held, televised, broadcast later, recorded and viewed even later - are India's premier awards show. They are like India's Oscars. They attract the top stars in Bollywood. They are watched by millions. They are decidedly underwhelming and loopy.

A number of nutty awards were given as usual - although they get less nuttier as the years go by. (Filmfare, I'm miffed by this. If you guys are going to get classy at least don't broadcast at the same time as the Oscars in the US.) Zoya Akhtar won a best debut award for her direction in Luck By Chance. Then Ayan Mukerjee won the same award for his direction in Wake Up Sid. Because this was an award for best debut, Filmfare split it between men and women. But because two directors won - in a year in which a woman won Best Director at the Oscars - it implied that the degree of difficulty for directing a film was different between genders. Wah, loopiness randomly happens when you embrace the premise whole-heartedly.

So as always (which means whenever I feel like it) I decided to give out Drift Awards of my own. Here they are.

The Best Paan Beedi Speech

Let's start with music, shall we? You all know what a Paan Beedi song in a movie is, right? Its the song where the men sense an opportunity to run out for Paan or Beedi. They come back, masculinely refreshed, and can get back in the flow of things without worrying about missing any continuity. This year the legendary musical composer Khayyam won some award - lifetime achievement or something. I can't remember and its not important (we all love Khayyam, award or no award).

Asha Bhonsle came on stage to give the award and made a speech about how cool Khayyam was because he made Asha Bhonsle into a ghazal queen. Then Ashaji remembered that this whole thing was about giving an award to Khayyam and not herself. So she executed that duty promptly.

Then Khayyam launched into a tremendously boring speech about the good old days and his first tankhwaa and suchlike. I saw Asha dozing off for a bit before recovering and snapping her eyes wide. But just when men might have entertained thoughts of bolting out for dhumrpaan, something awesome happened. Khayyam started talking about his work on Umrao Jaan and just like that - out of nowhere - he started hitting on Rekha! He praised her beauty to the skies in shaayari like prose. Stunned by this reversal of roles, Rekha buried her face in her hands and tears streamed down her cheeks. Ashaji - owner of just as resplendent a career as Rekha's but now being publicly ignored - gave everyone the blood curdling hooded eye look.

This went on until (one of many) host Karan Johar showed the presence of mind to grab Khayyam and haul him off the stage. Hilarity!

The Best Audience Award

The best audience award goes to Kajol. Why? Well if Kajol were to read this one line she'd burst out laughing.

At the awards, Kajol laughed at just about everything. She laughed loud, enthusiastically, with upwardly knit eyebrows. She made hand movements to indicate her level of entertainment. She lurched sideways with laughter. She threw her head back. She grabbed her neighbors excitedly. That was in the first 10 minutes. The show got funnier for Kajol - although I couldn't tell just by watching it.

The Best Audience Award - Runner Up

A long time ago, you act in a really cool movie (for its time). Your name is Chunky - that's kind of cute. The movie becomes a hit. The only way is up! You start looking for lead roles.

Then things kind of take a slightly different route. You act in clunker after clunker. You start looking old. You're still called Chunky - only its not that cute anymore, almost kind of sad. Shahrukh Khan makes a joke on national TV about how all women run away from you. You laugh. You keep laughing. After a while you clearly look strained. But hey, its a job!

The Sexiest Aunty Award

This year the competition was tough. There was Kajol, Tabu and hot favorite Vidya Balan. To get this award its not important to just wear a saree or some Ye Olde Latka-Matka Outfit. After all, Katrina, Kareena and Rekha Bhardwaj (who won vocals for Genda Phool) all came in sarees - and looked hip. No, to win this prestigious award, you have to project a unique fuddy-duddy vibe while still looking gorgeous.

Staving off the killer competition, Vidya Balan won the award for the third time in a row. She did this by making a chotee look older fashioned than it is, wearing ginormous sadhu-sant beads and donning so many colors that the color spectrum didn't have anything on her.

The Parmeshwar Godrej Award

This award is given to the fashion priestess of the show - which is a polite way of saying 'you aren't hot but you do spend a lot of money on fashion so we need to keep you buying'. (You can read more about the award and the wonderful thought behind it here.) 2008's recipient Gauri Khan looked terrific this year and avoided the trauma of receiving this award. This left Rekha holding the bag. Rekha you are the new Parmeshwar Godrej. Kuchh Karo!

Honorary South Indian Award

While needling a bright and witty R Madhavan, Shahrukh Khan decided to play a game. "There are so many SOUTH INDIANS in the audience tonight" he said, calling out a few names. "I'd like to learn TAMIL!" Such a willingness to embrace and welcome everyone from the SOUTH - even those born and raised in Mumbai like Madhavan. All the NORTH INDIANS in the house say "BALLE BALLE!" like you should.

The Best Dancer in Gym Shoes Award

You know how the dances go in these shows - everyone poses more than they dance. Because they are wearing some outfit that - given too much shaking - might result in some wardrobe malfunction. Don't dance if you are so done, I say! Fortunately Riteish Deshmukh was at hand. Wearing some brilliant white and pink Nukkad Romeo outfit, the man danced his heart out.

The Anu Malik Shayari Award

Kavita Seth shared a vocals statuette with Rekha Bhardwaj for the Amit Trivedi composed Iktara (Wake Up Sid). She launched into an Anu Malik style ready to wear sher that sounded great but amounted to little (for unclassy people like me anyway).

The Get Me Out of Here Award

AR Rahman sat through the entire ceremony with one expression on his face - Freakin' Bored! When he won for his terrific album Delhi-6, he tried to grab the statuette and run away. He was called back by SRK and given a mike to speak into. He said some rote stuff and reminded everyone that this was his 25th Filmfare award. Even the shy ones feel the need to be hailed don't they? Then ARR went back to being bored.

The Bad Hair Duo Award

Anu Malik lives through bad hair days every day. Through some tremendous stroke of luck (for me), he got paired with Sherlyn Chopra who had constructed a flip out of her hair so huge you could land a plane on it. This kept flipping up and down whenever she shook her head. At one point while opening the envelope, I thought Anu might rest his mike on it. (No, really this isn't out of the realm of possibility).

The Track Suit Award

Fast becoming Bollywood's buzzed property, Prateik Babbar showed up wearing a suit that had Track & Field written all over it. Really, it was dazzling to watch. If you want to make a fashion statement, this is absolutely the correct way to do it.

The Super Enthu Award

Amit Trivedi won for his ground breaking song compositions on Dev D, came out looking dapper in a suit and looked really excited. For a moment he made me forget just what a circus this show was. Well done, my gujju brother!

The F**k You Chetan Bhagat Award

All through the release of the blockbuster 3 Idiots, controversy about the origin of the story idea behind the movie dogged the film. Chetan Bhagat, originally involved with the film before falling out with its makers, went public about how the film's story was based on his book Five Point Someone. The story of the film was credited to Abhijat Joshi and Raj Kumar Hirani. Both won the Best Story award at the show - further adding insult to injury for poor Bhagat.

The Sound of Logic Award

When first time director Nandita Das won for her film Firaaq, she had this to say: "You never get an award for your first film because you only make your first film once!"

I'll leave you with that profound thought.

Also:

memsaab is with Aamir when it comes to Awards Shows
deep likes Nandita's deep thought
Vidya Balan at show, nice thinks Kanan
Mind Rush recalls Chunky Pandey's old moniker
bolly boy has funny names for SRK and Saif
Aamir not nominated? Fake Awards! says Anon

Music Ka Maha Muqqabla: Eksun, Dramaa, Explosuns!

2010-03-03T00:06:00.016-06:00

Last week Music Ka Maha Muqqabala found itself on the precipice of an all-time great moment in televised reality history. How did this happen? Let's rewind (imagine this blog now in black and white slow motion)

Followers of this action packed show might know that Mika and Mohit Chauhan have been eliminated leaving the following semi-finalists: Shaan, Shankar Mahadevan, Himesh Reshammiya and Shreya Ghoshal. Their teams have some funky names but I can't remember them right now.

Shaan and Shankar had a battle this Sunday. Shanker opened up a huge lead in points.

For the duet round, Shankar sent in Rahul Vaidya and Neethi Mohan. Both sang the flirtatious "Abhi Na Jao". Midway through the song, Neethi forgot the lyrics. Desperately she looked at her hand for clues, thus suggesting how she might be getting through her board exams. Nope, nothing written there. Fortunately for her Rahul showed tremendous presence of mind and rescued her with part nok-jhok, part cover up.

When the time came to hand them points Shankar made an impassioned case for his players. "This is a show!" he said "And how well they took care of that mistake and rescued it from disaster!" He asked for points for Rahul's chaturai. This seemed reasonable enough. All the judges agreed with Shankar. This left opposing team captain Shaan seething with anger.

Sensing Shaan's discomfort, Himesh skilfully maroed chaabi till Shaan cleared his tipping point. (Precisely why I love the Himesh so much.) Shaan took the bait and jumped up and down about how this entire situation was unreasonable. If singers forgot the lyrics, he argued, they shouldn't be getting good points. "I'm on the side of RIGHT" he thundered. "SOMEONE ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT JUST HAPPENED!"

Mika - India's own version of Snoop Dogg - arose, sending shivers through my spine. He argued for the contestants. Shaan jumped out with mike in hand and asked Mika if he had left his brains at home! Both rushed towards each other. Shaan shoulder thumped Mika. Wah! Music ka maha smackdown!

Shaan then jumped into the audience "WHOSE JOB IS IT TO REMEMBER THE LYRICS?" he implored "THE SINGERS OR THE AUDIENCE?" Several members of the audience muttered into the mike that Shaan shoved into their faces.

Not to be outdone, Mika rounded up a Feeble Looking Senior (FLS) from the audience. "LISTEN TO HIM!" Mika commanded. And Mika said and so it was. Everyone listened. Unfortunately the FLS said something passionate but entirely incomprehensible, weakening Mika's case a bit. Mika sighed and sat down.

Shaan took off his jacket and thumped it on the floor. Then he stormed off the stage. Poor Neethi was in tears. Rahul Vaidya for some reason started taking everything personally. "Chup ho ja beta!" Himesh advised him.

Later Shaan argued this point again peripherally implying that Himesh was being dishonest with music. This pushed Himesh past his tipping point. The House of Reshammiya grabbed the mike and cut the air with TWO fingers instead of the usual one - conveying that he was twice as upset as he usually is (which is every time he is losing an argument). When he finished he had cut the air around him into ribbons. Hilarity all around!

Now it was the turn of Shaan's team to sing a duet. Shaan sent in Debojit and Anvesha. At this point, I felt, MkMM was one step away from engineering an all-time great moment. What if, I asked myself, Anvesha were to forget the lyrics? Nothing personal against Anvesha but this would have been pretty darn funny! Would Shaan have hid under the chair? Would Mika have laughed his head off? I crossed my fingers and said prayer after prayer. But hells bells, that girl didn't forget a word. Not one. Not once did she even hesitate. Man, what a Debbie Downer!

All through this Shankar had been maintaining decorum. Clearly all this drama turned him off. His mood darkened. Mohit and Mika chatoed him rather cutely. He barely cracked a smile. He finally won the muqabala on points and ended up saying he wanted everyone to go home happy. He said this with such a lack of conviction that I felt sad for him and happy for what more is to come on the show.

Somewhere Ekta Kapoor must have furiously taken notes and wondered why her writers can't deliver such awesome naatak in her own shows.

Karthik Calling Karthik: Why it worked

2010-02-28T00:02:00.004-06:00

In the groundbreaking Karthik Calling Karthik - or as I like to call the movie "Just star-69 his ass!" - there is a moment early on in which Karthik's life has fallen apart. He has no friends. The girl he loves doesn't know he exists. His coworkers have no respect for him. His boss chews him out constantly. He's been humiliated and fired in front of his entire office. He's collected his things in a box and boarded an elevator. And the blinking down arrows on the elevator panel unrelentingly mirror his state.

Debutant director Vijay Lalwani's movie is full of these storytelling markers. Sometimes they are bit heavy handed, for example the completeness of a Rubik's Cube is used to communicate Karthik's State of Life. But more often than not, they serve the story well.

Since the story of KCK has been documented in numerous places, we'll skip the pleasantries. What is Lalwani's style like? I suspect he's a better writer than a director - although he's pretty darn good with the latter job too. His story holds well together - it misses a few tricks in the parts that he's deliberately tweaked to be cinematic. Wouldn't it have been cool, for example, if he had tied things back to the reason the phone was the instrument of Karthik's salvation and later affliction?

Lalwani's scenes are well written - they seem crisp enough. His dialogs are direct and real. When he is directing though I felt his scenes weren't calibrated fully. Often they seemed to be missing a beat or two. Some were held for too long. Because Lalwani stages his scenes with a slow steady hand, he feels compelled to punch them up with a non-stop background score. With time Lalwani will develop enough confidence in his ability to tell a story that he doesn't need to resort to that.

What really brings the movie alive is its production. Farhan Akhtar and Ritesh Sidhwani produced the movie under their Excel Entertainment banner and they seem to have assembled a crack team for Lalwani. The songs composed by Shankar Ehsaan Loy work really well all through the movie. The background music - although overused - by Midival Punditz and Karsh Kale underscores the scenes. The production design (Rachna Rastogi) is gorgeous, the sets zing with character. Farhan and Deepika Padukone's styling (Niharika Khan) is wonderful. In the more suspenseful sequences, there is some nifty editing (Aarti Bajaj) that ratchets up the drama. Against all penny-pinching Bollywood tactics, Lalwani gets to insert a sweeping CGI shot in the movie that is used to depict the hurtling nature of a journey into the scary unknown.

But enough about the visual style of the movie: the subject matter really scored with me. The movies I enjoy the most are the ones that open themselves up for debate afterwards. And I'm not just talking about debates around costumes and dance steps. Lately in Indian cinema bold directors have been making provocative movies that ask questions about religion, moral values, community and country. But KCK is a film that asks questions about the self. In fact, KCK is one of the most introspective mainstream Bollywood movie I've seen - one in which its acceptable for the main character to leave everything behind (lover, family, earthly possessions) to heal himself without a specific timetable.

Farhan Akhtar plays Karthik with a crestfallen body language. He is an honest grunt crippled with a lack of confidence brought on by childhood trauma. The script and dialogs are tuned to him a lot - so he works from an advantage here. There is a brief scene in the movie where you get to see a very different Karthik and I wish that we had seen more of Farhan doing that. His costar Deepika Padukone looks like a dream in this movie. Freed from the long, over-curled tresses that seemed to weigh her down in Love Aaj Kal, she develops a twinkle-eyed zing in her acting. She still needs to shape her characters better - someone called Shonali Mukherjee (Deepika's character) doesn't often speak English with a distinct Marathi lilt.

KCK has a payoff in the movie that might be deemed a disappointment. Its certainly not cinematic enough for a traditional multiplex hit. But when you do something truly groundbreaking (and not just because you are the FIRST to release the movie on YOUTUBE on a WEDNESDAY type of groundbreaking), you have to introduce it to new audiences gradually. KCK does well here despite ending up perhaps too neatly wrapped up.

Yet KCK forces you to look at an area of health that Indians have stunningly avoided dealing with for years. And it tells you that in this case, the issues aren't happening to other people who you can feel sorry about and do kind things for. In these cases, the issues may be calling you.

Inside the music of Teen Patti with composer Sulaiman Merchant

2010-02-26T07:13:00.006-06:00

How did Sulaiman Merchant and Salim Merchant go from being prolific scorers of background music (they still do this) to among the top composers in Bollywood films today?

They started with a huge hit on Dor (Yeh Honsla). They produced the nation's most enduring sports anthem on Chak De! India, which revitalized Shahrukh's mid-career slump. They mixed dance, emotion, masti and passion on Madhuri's comeback vehicle Aaja Nachle. Just as they were getting warmed up, Salim-Sulaiman created a bunch of polished gems on the sleeper hit Fashion, a movie which made an A-list star out of Priyanka Chopra.

Their last few releases? Kurbaan, Rocket Singh, Pyaar Impossible.

What's so special about Salim-Sulaiman? Their compositions are diverse (they do club, caberet, Hindustani, operatic, electonica, house, bare bones) but their songs are always drenched in emotion.

They have songs out for the new Amitabh Bachchan-Ben Kingsley starrer Teen Patti. Its five songs, three remixes, no fillers, massive entertainment. I invited Sulaiman to talk to the Drift about his music and the music of Teen Patti.

AspisDrift.com: Hi Sulaiman, welcome! You've been working with your brother Salim for a while. You've gone from being composers to BIG composers in Bollywood. How do you work together? I have two boys who are ready to kill each other at any given time! What is your process like?

Sulaiman: We now have an understanding. We've worked together for years now. So obviously there is a comfort zone on what to do and how you do it. We have our work cut out for us. Salim does musical arrangements, I do the percussion. Works perfectly!

We have our own studio - we have a great facility. We check in every day and create music. Its like any day at the office.

AspisDrift.com: Do you have a set of people you work with or do you handle your own production?

Sulaiman: 99% of the time we do our own production - unless its a collaboration on the international front. Otherwise its [just] Salim and me.

AspisDrift.com: What do you and Salim play in terms of instruments?

Sulaiman: I play the drums. I have very good knowledge of the tablas although I don't play it anymore. Salim on the other hand plays keyboards but he is also very well versed with sitars and guitars and bass. So he does all the string arrangements.

AspisDrift.com: You know, I hear Salim singing on your songs. You don't sing?

Sulaiman: I don't! But the way things are going, I'm going to start singing. [jokes] Its the only thing to do right? To be in the limelight, you have to go out and sing. When we do concerts I'll go out and sing.

AspisDrift.com: But will you record a song you think?

Sulaiman: I don't know - we'll see!

AspisDrift.com: Since Salim isn't around, I have to ask: Who is the better singer?

Sulaiman: Definitely Salim! He is a singer, I am the wannabe singer. Maybe if I sing a little more, he'll recognize the talent and give me a song to sing.

AspisDrift. com: Who is the bigger party animal between you two?

Sulaiman: We have our phases. Its Salim sometimes. Sometimes its me. I have a baby on the way so I'm lying low these days - supporting my wife. You'll see less of me on twitter and Facebook and other sites.

AspisDrift.com: I can't resist asking you this: what are your earliest memories of growing up with Salim? Was he always breaking your stuff or something?

Sulaiman: We used to fight a lot like brothers always do. Everyone does I think. We did all that for 27 or 28 years - fought constantly. But the musical aspiration always kept us going and together. We stopped talking for a little bit, but it was the music that brought us together.

AspisDrift.com: Your new movie Teen Patti has a female director (Leena Yadav) which is rare in Bollywood. Was it different working with her than other male directors?

Sulaiman: She was a little more understanding. I wouldn't say a lot more so - but she could understand what we were going on about. She is also quite intelligent and well versed with filmmaking. It was a breeze getting her to understand things. She was very open to ideas in terms of songs.

If you came up with a song with heavy percussion and rock elements - not an average song - it becomes difficult to convince a director or producer about the viability or sustainability of the song. But it really worked with [the producer] Ambika [Hinduja] and Leena.

We finished this music over a year ago. We came back and refinished the album and they had no problems with it. They just said 'Go ahead you know what you are doing'

AspisDrift.com: I don't know if you've noticed this but your music has great songs for women.

Sulaiman: I haven't noticed that at all! Can you give me an example?

AspisDrift.com: Well women have maybe one great song to sing on most CDs. As item numbers have become less popular, women have less and less hit songs to sing. But for some reason on your CDs - Luck had great songs for women, Teen Patti does, so does Pyaar Impossible, Shruti Pathak and Neha Bhasin got great songs on Fashion.

Sulaiman: Its just that we like to try different voices. Whenever we find a good voice, we desperately want them to sing for us. With men we haven't had much luck.

We've also heard a lot of these voice before. We've recorded with Neha back when she was with Viva (Channel [V] Popstars). We know her since then and for that song we said 'lets try her' and it really happened.

Same thing with Shruti when we brought her in for Mar Jaawa. We knew she could sing, we didn't know if she could sing that song. But we brought the song down low and she sang it really low. It worked for her and it worked for the song!

AspisDrift.com: Ok, let's talk about the songs on Teen Patti and start with Neeyat (vocals: Sunidhi Chauhan)

Sulaiman: We've used cellos and double bass - basically a string orchestra - to start off the song. Leena and Ambika wanted a European track - which is why you hear all the accordions. That turned into a cabaret.

We picked Sunidhi to sing because I don't think anyone else could have done that song. She jumps an octave in that song - its very difficult to do.

She is singing this song everywhere these days! We just saw her recently on the Mirchi Awards and she did that as the first track. It really showcases her talent!

[Be sure to check out: The making of Neeyat]

AspisDrift.com: Intezar (vocals: Naresh Kamath)

Sulaiman: Naresh is a really dear friend and we needed a rock voice. But we needed the voice to be gruff and younger. The picturization is on a 17, 18 year old guy. So the voice casting had to be younger. We initially thought of KK, but he wouldn't work that well - he has a more mature voice. We tried a couple of people before we had Naresh do it.

AspisDrift.com: Teen Patti (vocals: Salim Merchant)

Sulaiman: This song was a last minute addition into the album. We wanted a club track. Clubby tracks are easy to make but very difficult to formulate because they need a hook to take the song forward. Irfan [Siddiqui] wrote a great hook for us - 'Ikka Badsha Rani Queen / Yehi hai bajate Teen / Patti ke ghulam hai sab'

When we finished the song - Salim sang dummy vocals to see if the lyrics worked. When Leena heard it she liked it and we decided to keep it. It has more of a casual get with an Indian and bit of a Western touch.

AspisDrift.com: Life is a Game (vocals: Sonia Saigal, Sonia with Anushka Manchanda on the Hindi version)

Sulaiman: This was the first song we laid down for the track. Mr. Bachchan's voice was a later addition. This song set the mood for the entire film for us. It was just a song - all about the game, no situation, nothing. It's one of the very few songs around you will hear that is completely in English. We have a Hindi version of it for the marketing.

When we finished composing we realized no one had the right English accent to pull it off. There is always that bit of Hindi instruction that comes out even when singing in English. Sonia just did it perfectly, she rocked.

She's sung a song before this for us in Aaja Nachle. You know when Madhuri gets introduced during the dance practice - that was an English song that Sonia sang. It went unnoticed I guessed. [Much embarrassment on my part here for not remembering Sonia]

AspisDrift.com: Summertime (vocals: Joey Alvares)

Sulaiman: Summertime is a very old song by Joey Alvares - we wanted a familiar song on this CD. It started off as a small bit that needed to be picturized. Initially we thought we'd do it ourselves but then we thought let's try to recreate that song differently.

Summertime is a very jazzy song. So we redid it as a breakbeat, electronica song. To keep the authenticity of the track, we got Joey to do the vocals. Its a nice blend of a jazz rythmn and a modern production.

AspisDrift.com: Cool, what else are you working on?

Sulaiman: We are working on a couple of films but we can't talk about it - so I won't. We are finally getting on the road to do live shows. So we are doing rehearsals. There is some talk about being in the US.

AspisDrift.com: Let me know if you come to Chicago for a show. Thanks so much for doing this and good luck with the baby!

Also:

Why Suraj "Give Me Some Sunshine" Jagan's career is Red Hot Right Now!

2010-02-24T00:04:00.005-06:00

Last time we caught up with Suraj Jagan on the Drift, he had vocalized the first death metal song (Zehreelay on Rock On!!) in a Hindi movie and gotten into a lot of shit on screen by first glaring at Farhan Akhtar and later butting heads with Arjun Rampal.

Since then, Suraj's career has exploded. As rock songs proliferated Bollywood soundtracks, Suraj (along with this other guy we talked about a while ago) sang song after song. A lot of them were flagship compositions. More work followed. An entire generation of fans discovered Suraj's raspy voice and ferocious growl.

Then last year, a little song called Give Me Some Sunshine remapped Suraj's career. Handpicked, against type, by composer Shantanu Moitra to sing the lilting melody - Suraj sang something he hadn't before for films. The movie was 3 Idiots, India's biggest hit since Gadar and possibly India's biggest international hit.

"Give Me Some Sunshine" got heavy airplay and became an instant favorite. Suraj was nominated for and won the Stardust award for best male performance in a song beating out the likes of Masakali, I mean Mohit Chauhan. He dedicated the song to 'all those people who thought I was an idiot to start singing in the first place".

I decided it was time to check in on Suraj and catch up.

AspisDrift.com: Suraj, you've been singing gangbusters in films since Rock On!! What changed? Was it the extra visibility for you? Was it the need of the hour? Did you start attending every party in town?

Suraj: There wasn't much visibility for me after Rock on and no, I did not attend every party in town!

What has happened is that after Rock On!!, rock as a genre, got firmly established in the Hindi film scene. Singers like me have greatly benefited from this, as rock is now accepted in the Bollywood scene. Also nowadays voices are being ‘cast’ for songs. The old formula of just taking popular voices and fitting them into a song is changing - which is great for me and other new voices.

AspisDrift.com: Which songs are you are proudest of?

Suraj: Zehreelay for sure cos I think it’s the first hard rock song in a Hindi film. I’m glad that I was part of the composition as well [in the movie].

AspisDrift.com: Which song are you most thankful for?

Suraj: Give Me Some Sunshine! This song has definitely given me a lot of sunshine!

AspisDrift.com: You've locked down the rock song genre in Bollywood. Does anyone ever offered you anything different - like say a sappy romantic song?

Suraj: I recently recorded a romantic song for a very famous music director. He took it up as a challenge to make me sing like that...hahahaha!

AspisDrift.com: I heard Shantanu Moitra wrote "Give me some sunshine" with you in mind. True?

Suraj: We were doing a radio interview together where he mentioned that if for some reason my voice was not approved by the film makers he would’ve changed the composition. I was blown when I heard that, and I’ll always be grateful to him for that.

AspisDrift.com: You won the 'New Musical Sensation - Male' at the Stardust awards this year. You really had a go at your critics in that speech. Was there a time when you doubted yourself and thought about a call center job?

Suraj: Ever since I started singing I’ve heard from some members of the family and so called well wishers make comments like “you are a failure, loser: etc. So this was just my way of saying - 'In your face, motherfuckers!'

And no I have never ever thought of doing anything other than sing…even in the most darkest of times.

AspisDrift.com: What is it with these awards? Do you know you are going to win before the show or is it like a total surprise?

Suraj: I didn’t even know I was nominated till someone saw it in the magazine. So ya it was a total surprise, and actually winning it was the biggest surprise!!

AspisDrift.com: Speaking of shows, will we ever see you on a music reality competition show like Sa Re Ga Ma Pa or Indian Idol? I'd love to see what would happen if say Anu Malik or Himesh Reshammiya tried to mess with you.

Suraj: I’ll cross that bridge when I get there..

AspisDrift.com: Suraj, last time I interviewed you I remember you kept your answers short and concise. So this time I'm going to have you do one better and describe each music composer you've worked with in ONE word. Ready?

Suraj: Vishal-Shekhar: Brilliant
Shantanu Moitra: Sharp
Shankar Ehsaan Loy: Harmony
Pritam: Hitmaker
Gourov Dasgupta: Guitar God

AspisDrift.com: Final question, guess what my favorite Suraj Jagan song is these days?

Suraj: Rang De? [from My Name is Khan]

AspisDrift.com: Nope, actually its the title track for Karthik Calling Karthik. Its hard to steal a song from Shankar Mahadevan, but that is what just happened on that track.

Suraj's Bollywood Discography

Title track from Karthik Calling Karthik (2010)
Rang de from My Name Is Khan (2010)
Maula from Hide & Seek (2010)
Give Me Some Sunshine from 3 Idiots (2009)
Dil Kare from All the Best (2009)
Chalte Chalo from Toss (2009)
Saanson Ka Rukna, Humse Jo Churaiye Humko Hee, Kya Hua Hoo Hoo, Love Love Love and Run Run Run (2009) from Straight
Sooni Raah Pe from Stoneman Murders (2009)
Zehreelay from Rock On!! (2008)
Hijack Theme from Hijack (2008)
Missing Sunday from Sunday (2008)
I am a Bad Boy from Bhram (2008)
Yeh Faasle (remix) from Rama Rama Kya Hai Drama (2008)
No Big Deal from Money Hai Toh Honey Hai (2008)
Zindagi (not released) from Brides Wanted (2007)
Hey Johnny from Johnny Gaddaar (2007)
Dum Lagaa from Dil Dosti Etc (2007)

Suraj's pics by Paddy Arvind Shenoy

Wake Up Sid Revisited: How to put Fresh into Ghisa Pita

2010-02-21T08:00:00.001-06:00

Its not rare to find a shiny new talent do something interesting in a film. But this happens rarely enough that I find it exhilariting whenever I see it: a brand new talent with the weight of expected commercial success doing something non-commercial with the confidence of a near-auteur.

Wake Up Sid is first-time director Ayan Mukerji's Coming of Age update for a generation of young Indians growing up on their parents' eco-boom affluence.

Consider this: Ayan was 26 when he made this movie last year. He made it for Karan Johar's Dharma Productions. He made it with Ranbir Kapoor - a whip smart actor but with a non-existent track record at the box office at signing. All of the above were under intense pressure to deliver commercial success with this flick. What thrilled me to see is that Ayan did it differently - with the kind of super cool confidence that seems to say: I know what I'm doing.

So what does Ayan do that is so different and hatke in this flick? Its his pacing. Its languorous, leisurely (its the antithesis of star Ranbir's other hit last year Ajab Prem). Early on the pace of the scripts mirrors WUS's titular character's life: meandering, laid-back, lacking a well-defined direction. Later as Sid begins to mature and become a more responsible person, the story develops plot inflections, if not plot points. All through the movie Ayan maintains a laid-back narrative, taking his time to play out his scenes and flesh out his characters.

If you look at WUS closely, its full of standard movie archetypes and happenings. (Ayan is a self-confessed 'product of the 90s' and spent a lot of time watching Karan Johar's movies). But because they are handled so differently, they feel familiar yet different.

Opening with an Exposition
Ok, Indian movies are full of these where the star is introduced in some epic way. But the opening shots of WUS - in which Ranbir struggles to focus on his studies - are playful and punched with nifty music (Shankar Ehsaan Loy scored the movie's songs). Thus they are rendered cute. But because the focus is on particular traits of Ranbir's character, they don't feel like exploitative fluff where a star is being introduced.

The spoiled brat
Yes, there is one in every growing up movie. But in this one, instead of being an uncaring, aggressive brat, Sid is a zoned out, self-centered but caring, entitled and aware brat. Life comes easy to Sid simply because he has his Dad's money to spend and he has no qualms doing it (he answers the question 'what do you do' in the movie with 'I spend my Dad's money'). Because Ranbir nails the loose limbed body language of a slacker, Sid feels like a fresh, lovable spin on the stereotypical brat.

The crazy, lovable friends
Ayan hurdles over this necessary stereotype by doing the following. He refrains from making the friends over-cute. He doesn't make them slapstick funny (like in say Jaane Tu...) He gives them crises of their own to quickly fill them out (one has a weight problem, another is dumped by the love of his life).

The sacrificing, all-loving Maa
Easily the most annoying of all Hindi-film stereotypes, the Maa in WUS is played by Supriya Pathak with a ding-dong sweetness. Supriya gets to do all the stuff Maa's do in films, but she reins in the drama (even when being dramatic) and underacts (by filmi standards) the heavy emotional stuff. She's a Maa you can get behind.

The gruff father who ONLY works hard so he can provide for his family
The actor who benefits from Ayan Mukerji's willingness to amp down the theatrics is Anupam Kher, who plays Sid's hugely successful Dad. Forced to pay the bills in countless roles that are well beneath his talent, Kher is able to deliver the emotional payload in two key scenes without once acting out of bounds. (Its the same Kher who dazzled us in A Wednesday). These scenes ground the movie in its slacker vibe.

A creative job as a photographer (eye roll) in a magazine
Sid finally finds his creative redemption by turning his hobby as a photographer into a profession via an internship. Anyone who watches movies can see that one coming for a mile in the movie. But Ayan rescues this eye roll worthy piece of writing with an associative loopback (Sid likes to photograph his feet against backdrops) in the end that is entirely charming.

Four Hanky Moments around La Familia
You can't have an Indian movie without La Familia and lots of emotional, tear-jerker scenes involving one or more members of the family. In WUS, there are four key scenes involving family. All of them are standard scenes, but played differently entirely by tuning the dialog (and amping down the theatrics). The actors get one line to speak where typically there would be three. More importantly they speak those lines at civilized, as opposed to ear-splitting, decibels.

Friends 2 Lovers
If there is one formula that Bollywood can bottle, its this one. If done right, its a near sure fire way of connecting with younger audiences. Ranbir and Konkana get love out of the way early by talking about it and deciding they are not made for each other. This paves the way for a solid friendship even though you know where its going to end up. But in WUS, its a platonic friendship on steroids because Ranbir and Konkana spend the better part of the movie living as roommates and doing all kinds of things (dates! cooking! arguments! laundry!) together that a couple would.

A misunderstanding, followed by sulking and finally LOVE!
Every romantic movie has one of these honkers - a crisis that is precipitated due to some lame reason, then a period of sulking and finally forgiveness. In WUS this feels fresh entirely because Ayan keeps this period short.

In fact, the end is the only part of WUS that feels hurried, but by then its just the right pace.

The aftermath of My Name is Khan: The winners and losers are...

2010-02-16T00:01:00.004-06:00

Sometime in the last few weeks, something really interesting happened to Karan Johar's much awaited melodrama My Name is Khan. Straining to overcome a minor but annoying backlash over a controversy in which Shahrukh Khan was detained at a US airport (in a case of life imitating unreleased art), the hard working KJo put an admirable publicity machinery in motion as the release date approached.

Around the same time Shahrukh, who also owns the Indian Premier League cricket franchise Kolkata Knight Riders, spoke out against how disappointed he was that the Pakistani players were not going to be playing in the IPL. Mumbai's self appointed soldiers - the Shiv Sena, led by beleaguered leader Uddhav Thackeray perhaps sensing immense political opportunity, took offense. How dare someone (a non-native Mumbaikar and Muslim!) side with the Pakistanis! Shiv Sena asked SRK to apologize, SRK refused, the Sena got a bit ugly. This is all well documented so not worth repeating here.

Last Friday, under threat from the Shiv Sena to disrupt the movie's release in Mumbai and with just limited verbal support from the film fraternity, MNIK opened.

Despite the ever-present specter of violence, the collections for MNIK set the box office on fire. The movie hauled in Rs 40 crores over the weekend in India. It blazed to a $1.86 m take in the US and a £936,000 take in the UK - opening weekend records for both countries for a Bollywood flick.

By all accounts MNIK will be a big hit - the question is just how big. This single event has decided the fate of several parties on either side of the MNIK fence.

Here are the winners and losers of the jung.

WINNERS

Shahrukh Khan

Not only does SRK get to prove his box office mettle, but refusing to back down when confronted with threats vaults him to the status of real life hero - albeit a status he may not want.

SRK got some support from the filmi duniya for his movie although that is all he got. Yet he cocked a snook at the Sena and pulled it off - which now makes him the poster child for United Bollywood. What's more - his blockbuster box office status has been restored after the lackluster Billu.

Karan Johar

KJo spent a lot of money on MNIK. He cast his favorite actors (SRK, Kajol) and pulled out all his tricks - on film and off it during marketing. When SRK's refusal to back down put KJo's rather expensive movie in jeopardy, KJO shrugged it off and stood firmly by SRK - tirelessly focusing his energy on publicity and trying to eke out some protection from the Mumbai police. He wins big as a friend to India's biggest star and a man who put his faith in his buddy's principles.

His work as a director got mixed responses from critics - but there was unanimous praise for his singularity of vision and his need to strain at the creative leash. MNIK's box office confirms him as one of Bollywood's most reliable directors and easily its most visible one.

Filmi Moms

Kajol has been at the forefront of making mommy actors viable propositions. She has done this primarily via (a) strong performances in traditional Bollywood roles (b) sparkling chemistry with Bollywood's biggest star - SRK and (c) unstinting admiration from Karan Johar.

MNIK confirms her status as the go-to actress for complex roles opposite big name actors. The fact that the movie worked with audiences allows her to become more than just another older, serious actress (like say Tabu) and a safe bet at the box office. In being elevated to this status, Kajol will force Indian audiences to reevaluate their bias towards married actresses.

Fox STAR

Two years ago Twentieth Century Fox did a JV with Star Studios to form Fox Star and distributed Slumdog Millionnaire in India. On the backs of the same partnership Fox Star partly financed MNIK and gave US distribution rights to its boutique division Fox Searchlight.

MNIK's resounding opening gives Fox Star legs in Asia and allows Bollywood movies to become legitimate entries on the release calender of a major player like Fox Searchlight in the US.

Pakistani Cricketers

Boy its tough to feel unwanted and unloved. Locked out of the lucrative IPL because of various reasons - not the least being backlash against 26/11 (although most are loathe to admit it), the Pakistani cricketers were eyeing a bleak financial future.

Someone big in India suddenly spoke up for them, stood up for it and made a movie that was watched by millions in India. Loving Pakistanis is no longer taboo and this could be the start of the clarion call for becoming all neighborly again when it comes to Sports.

Bombay

Mumbai backlash manifests itself in the form of people who miss Bombay - both the city in terms of its cosmopolitan feel and the name itself.

Why, Bombay was probably the more original name for the city to begin with, counter many. Expect 'Bombay' to make a comeback.

LOSERS

Shiv Sena

In principal the Sena didn't violate any sensibilities by protesting loudly against SRK and demanding kaala paani for his film in Mumbai. Did we agree with it? No, but freedom of speech extends to everyone.

But when they resorted to violence in order to get what they couldn't through the civilized channels of persuasion and debate, things got hairy. Everyone felt threatened (it could be us next!). The tide of public opinion turned against the Sena.

MNIK's fireworks at the box office was a slap in the face of the Sena and now raises probing questions about its influence and power base in Mumbai.

Brand Thackeray

Look at this way: the name Thackeray is synonymous with a intimidating leader who ruled Mumbai with an iron fist. Now, some Muslim film star publicly gives Pakistan a cagey 'aal iz well' certificate, refuses to apologize, sticks his tongue out at you when you try to ban his movie AND the movie goes on to become a huge hit.

This is a huge blow to Brand Thackeray's credibility. Could this be the beginning of the end for Mumbai's own Gabbar Singh? Will Mom's now blackmail their kids into sleeping with a different threat? India awaits with bated breath.

Mumbai

While there is nothing wrong with renaming your city to align with cultural sensibilities, the name Mumbai is now associated with scary race politics. The word conjures up fascists who are willing to resort to divisive politics and violence born out of economic jealousy. In short, Mumbai is rather unfortunately growing into a brand for anti-cosmopolitan, small-minded folks who are the enemy of fun.

On a personal note - I have not seen MNIK.

How to save yourself on Valentine's Day by leveraging Chick Flicks

2010-02-13T00:09:00.001-06:00

Well its that time of the year - Valentine's Day. Which means you know what.

A bunch of men, harassed at the prospect of having to try and be romantic will talk about how they don't need to buy a gift or purchase a card to tell their loved ones how much they care. A number of women will say the same as a preemptive strike to ward off inevitable disappointment. Several will find that Hallmark is their friend in times of such dire need. A few will get all metrosexual and do something romantic. Most will find ideas of romance vary (yes, return that super powered vacuum cleaner NOW.)

I'm far too nefarious to fall in any of the above categories. What I do instead is I talk about all the crap I've gone through in the name of love and pass it off as my Valentine's Day gift. Its cheap, its easy and it works!

This year I'm listing out all those chick flicks I've watched in 2009 with the Drift Memsaab as saboot of how much I love her.

Now I actually liked a bunch of them. In fact I practically adored the first third of this list. But I recommend you not mention that when presenting 'gifts' like this on account of the fact that it will dilute the magnitude of your sacrifice, and hence the value of the gift.

Rachel Getting Married
Girl (Anne Hathaway) interrupts rehab to attend sister's (Rosemarie DeWitt) wedding, wreaks havoc. Hathaway almost convinces everyone she can act, until last movie on this list gets released.

Sunshine Cleaning
Two sisters (Amy Adams, Emily Blunt) whose lives are an ungodly mess, scrub crime scenes clean for a living. Adams, Blunt look fetching despite herculean efforts by Makeup and Costume

I've Loved You So Long
Surgeon (Kristin Scott Thomas) with a terrible secret (she murdered her infant son!) returns from jail to restart life with her sister (Elsa Zylberstein). Arty French posing and scenery chewing ensues.

Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist
Heart-broken loser (Micheal Cera) and hot chick (Kat Dennings) chase secret live appearance of weird sounding band all over city, miss concert, lock lips.

I Love You, Beth Cooper
Geeky Valedictorian (Paul Rust) publicly exclaims love for cheerleader with fabulous hair (Hayden Panettiere) at graduation, becomes object of ridicule and target of jock boyfriend's wrath. Magnificent towel-flick battle among half-naked folks in gym shower ensues. Cheerleader discovers losers are people too!

He's Just Not That Into You
Intersecting story arcs about clueless women getting shafted by men. Not sure exactly what happens but some of it is funny. Ginnifer Goodwin, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Connelly play Jens next door.

Love Aaj Kal
Metrosexual (Saif Ali Khan) and post-eco-boom desi girl (Deepika Padukone) coast through relationships in modern ways, find true love, suddenly become old fashioned and can't seem to talk about it. Parallel old fashioned love story encourages today's generation to talk less, love more.

(500) Days of Summer
Boy (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) meets annoying girl (Zooey Deschanel) who is too cool to even try and act - and fails to recognize that she's just NOT THAT INTO HIM! Yes, that is the whole movie. Minka Kelly arrives in last few minutes, wakes everyone up

The Duchess
Duchess (Kiera Knightley) marries creepy, abusive husband. Has to deal with rape, grief, Ralph Fiennes' pasty lips and plummy English accents. Features great costumes which none of us can ever wear anymore and hence are useless

Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Man-whore Javier Bardem can't decide who to lust after - Scarlett Johanssen or Penelope Cruz. Decides to have both, boinks Johanssen's sister (Rebecca Hall) along the way, transforms chick-flick to male fantasy film. Even censors fall asleep, which explains eyebrow-raising PG-13 rating

Julie & Julia
Julia Child (Meryl Streep) translates French recipes in English, becomes legend. Impressionable young Julie (Amy Adams) cooks her recipes and blogs about them, rights her life, lands book deal. Hundreds follow by trying to convert blog into book. Too late as publishers now troll Twitter for ideas.

The Proposal
Ball busting editor Sandra Bullock forces her doormat admin (Ryan Reynolds) to marry her for a green card, ogles his moneybags family and falls in love with him. Great vistas of Alaska and senseless situations ensue.

Confessions of a Shopaholic
Charming ditz (Isla Fisher) is an in-debt shopaholic but writes a column about smart shopping. Gets ratted out. Boyfriend quits her. Charming ditz oxymoronishly resorts to shopping sensibly.

The Ugly Truth
Smart, beautiful, man-less hence unhappy female producer (Katherine Heigl) is forced to work with misogynist (Gerard Butler) - discovers bad, messy, uncouth men are more interesting than clean-shaven, good looking, successful ones. Luckily man-shrew is tamed in time for the ending.

Bride Wars
Best friends (Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway) squabble over wedding venue on same day, bore everyone senseless, end Kate Hudson's career. Candice Bergen plays wedding planner, delivers masterclass in how to 'act' one snark at a time.

Music Ka Maha Muqqabla: Enemies R Us

2010-02-08T17:58:00.018-06:00

A few weeks ago on MkMM, just before SRK and KJo showed up to promote their now beleaguered movie - My Name is Khan - Himesh Reshammiya trotted on stage looking sharpish in a gray suit. In a matter of minutes he laid low the entire concept of the show. "How can the decision of each muqabla be decided by the people who sit in the back and not in the front?!" he thundered.

So what's with this front row-back row argument? Quite simple: its a class issue.

The audience in MkMM that gets the voting meters are the seated audience. In other words they are not the chavvani audience that forms Himesh's core fan group (and before anyone thinks I'm being classist, I count myself among Himesh's biggest fans). This means the upper class audience decides Himesh's fate. Not only does this eat into Himesh's votes but because our man has long been ostracized by the upper crust of Bollywood, this particular aspect of having his fate decided by the more moneyed hurts Himesh even more.

These days Himesh gets irritated quickly - he's become the Rocket Singh of Rageaholics. When this happens, his face takes on an expression of neutrality (ok, no jokes about how this is pretty much how he goes through his movies) and he crams in pause-less sentences into the microphone, not giving any chance for anyone to interrupt. Then he puts the mike down. This gesture of laying the mike down has such fear-inducing finality that no one says a word. Talk about technique!

This reached such nutty proportions that one singer - Amey Date, who now calls himself Aamaaya - lost his head. He took the fight, first to Himesh and then to the rest of the judges. The judges stayed their ground. Amey's blood boiled over - he staged that time tested technique of showing exasperation: he staged a walkout! Much cajoling by a bunch of angry looking producer-types failed to lure Amey back on stage. Everyone in the show begged for him to return. Mohit Chauhan, sensing an awesome opportunity to get some sympathy votes, strapped on a harmonica and sang something. He got perfect scores from the audience. The pressure piled on Amey, who still refused to budge.

Finally a couple of people just grabbed the poor singer and hauled him back on stage kicking and screaming. Seconds later Amey went hammer and tongs after Mika Singh, who got up and said "Idhar Aa beta!" At this point even Conan the Barbarian would have ducked out of sight. But Amey kept going. Poor Shankar Mahadevan buried his head in his palm.

All this was super entertaining!

Unfortunately for me, Mika has been losing his muqqablas steadily and was in danger of getting eliminated. With the unthinkable staring Mika the face, he took on Shaan, who has found the right mix of music and good natured muqabla to become one of the show's leading entertainers.

Vidya Balan and Arshad Warsi came on this episode to promote their new flick Ishqiya. The kicker? They both came dressed in character! This was something I had never seen before. Arshad came wearing his sexy-dangerous Surma Bhopali getup. Vidya came in a dowdy looking sari with her hair loose to one side.

"I've never seen you looking beautiful!" Mika exclaimed.

"You didn't think I looked good before?!" Vidya probed looking a little befuddled.

"I never saw you in that way before!" Mika countered.

Later Mika was so overcome by Vidya's beauty that he walked over, touched her feet and declared that Vidya was now his sister! This interchangeable saiyya-bhaiyya love is a proven way to entertain people. (See post here and here).

Happily this episode ended in a tie and Mika survived another round. How does a tie occur on this show you may ask? Well the 'computer' counts up to the first decimal. But if difference is less than half a point, the computer rounds UP both scores - regardless of which side of the half they are - to the same number. Wah, what an awesomely senseless computer. I want one for Diwali. But this raises the specter of rigged scores.

Like Mika himself once asked, is this show fixed? Given its sole purpose in life is to entertain me and this will happen only if there is drama in the competition, I sure hope so!

So on the main part of the show - the singing! Yes I seem to recall there was some.

Julie & Julia revisited: Lost in translation

2010-02-04T00:01:00.001-06:00

Every so often I'll watch a movie that everyone hates and I absolutely love. And no, I'm not sharing those with you.

But once in a while I'll watch a movie that everyone absolutely adores that makes me go WTF?! Julie & Julia is one such movie.

J&J is based on two memoirs, which the screenplay cleverly intersects into one integrated parallel narrative. It's been done many times before but it works in an impressively well oiled way in this movie. Julie (Amy Adams) - who is a bit of a failed writer and stuck in a dead end job - cooks her way through 524 recipes from Julia Child's cookbook (Mastering the Art of French Cuisine) as a way of proving to herself that she undertake something creative AND finish it. She blogs about it (the original blog is here on Salon).

In the second interwoven story, Julia Child (Meryl Streep) moves to Paris and begins her now famous love affair with French cuisine.

There are several reasons I just didn't get into the movie. We'll leave the well accepted ones aside: lack of a propulsive plot, somewhat one-dimensional supporting characters, no real conflict. The biggest reason for my LACK of engagement was: THE FOOD!

Everyone who loved the movie loved the food in it. The first piece of food that Julia tastes in the movie is a fish swimming in butter. Hells Bells! What a perfectly good way to ruin a fish! Director Nora Ephron then drives this point home when she ladles on (so to say) the butter. Julie is shown talking about how lots of butter is essential for cooking good food. Cue heart attack inducing shots of blocks of butter melting in a pan. Let's get back to REAL food, Ephron seems to be saying, simultaneously thumbing her nose at the cageyness of modern day cuisine to embrace good wholesome fat.

For the rest of the movie I was regaled with lovingly shot recipes featuring meat slathered with butter and wrapped up in pastry wherever possible. I might have seen a vegetable or two tossed in there somewhere - but they disappeared before I could pull out my microscope. At one point Julie tries to make a jelly out of beef stew. Later she tries to stuff chicken liver back in the chicken before baking it.

Once in the entire movie I saw Julia toss some oregano in a pot. Hadn't anyone in France heard of haldi or garam masala back then? For a desi like me, cooking without spices is a crime of the highest order. By the time the final recipe made its way into the movie - a duck baked in pastry (the only spices in there - salt), I had lost my appetite for the ENTIRE WEEKEND.

During my graduate days, a friend (part Polish-part French-part German) used to admonish me for adding flavor to meat or vegetables. "What's the point?" she used to say, glaring at me "the original taste of what you are cooking is completely gone!"

I can't argue that point (I even have some relatives who won't eat a fruit unless its slices are sprinkled with chaat masala). But using spices has advantages. For one, it allows you put flavorful food on the table without having to fry it each time for big taste. Second, if used right you can incorporate the medicinal value of spices right into your plate of food. To be fair, Indian cooking has several shortcomings - the worst of which is how much we tend to overcook our food and lose most of its nutritional value. But I digress.

Back to movie: Julia Child is credited with empowering American women with the confidence to cook again. This is alluded to in Julie's story where she gains control of her life by learning cooking through Childs' cookbook. I was completely unable to connect with this emotional subtext in the story although that was not related to the food in the movie.

On the other hand, I am increasingly fascinated by the impressively burgeoning career of Amy Adams. I love the way her hair itself gives a performance in every movie (hold on to that hairstylist!). But that is a whole different post.

The movie is based on the following books:
Julie and Julia: My Year of Cooking Dangerously by Julie Powell
My Life in France by Julia Child and Alex Prud'Homme

My thanks to Beth and Memsaab for helping me understand why the movie (and the iconic Child) was so loved by everyone

Phaltu Reporting: The greatest hits of Amrita Rao

2010-02-01T16:38:00.003-06:00

Bollywood celebs have been getting on twitter faster than Shahid Kapoor has been cycling through girlfriends. This seems to be a good idea - fans get a chance to talk directly to their loved ones. And the loved ones feel loved and get to interact directly with fans.

Guess who gets cut out - the media!

But the media has been striking back! How have they done it? They've come up with something rather innovative: the twitter news blurb. Here is how it works - the media monitors celeb tweets. Then they write about it. In other words, the media now reports to the fans what the celeb say to them directly. "SRK is sick!", "Imran Khan spent his birthday working!", "Celina has gas!" (I made that last one up - but you get the point, yes?)

But wait, there is more. Often fans respond back to the celebs. The media has caught wind of this and often reports on what the fans have to tweet about the celeb's tweets.

All this makes my head hurt even as I write it. But the incongruity of it all is much fun I have to admit. As an elaborate tribute to this phenom - which I call Phaltu Twitter Reporting (PTR) - I decided to respond with some Phaltu Facebook Reporting (PFR). I decided to check out Amrita Rao's Facebook Fan page and pull out the best her fans had to say about her.

Why Amrita Rao? Because her fans are the most entertaining. Over to them.

"U r ma dream gal !!!!!"

"CAN I MEET U ONCE IN A LIFETIME I M U FAN AND I WILL NOT TELL THAT I M U R BIGGEST FAN BUT I M U R ONE AND ONLY FAN .....PLS PLS REPLY ME PLS"

"how much"

"i wish.....i shud get a wife like u....."

"i use 2 think katrina is the prettiest bt no i change my mind after seeing u in the video song poorza poorza"

"u r definitely not the most beautiful gal on earth .. a true/honest msg frm ur normal fan"

"i have seen ur all of moveise"

"if there is any thing like black magic.....its in her eyes."

"ur posters r like paint in my room.they cover every square inch"

"I am mad about u. I wanna act with u. plz"

"I LUV U !! :) :) :)....WILL U MARRY ME !!"

"if you want to make a permanent impression upon the audience so that,you get remembered even after you than don't please compromise with your roles,story of the movie and try to do natural acting..for example as you have done in "vivah".............."

"Nothing new but I can't resist myself saying ........... you are gargious"

"you are very sexy pose."

"Wat i do if i lov u...:("

"your performance was good, but i loved your gestures from your face. It was hot, ammu."

"oh!! dear dont brake my heart..really there is someone special???"

"U R LUCKING HOT IN WHITE DRESS"

"im not so big fan of u yet.. bt always love to watch yr innocency in movies."

"all of us are making comments on this wall.....however, amrita doesnt reply or post any comment on her wall.....does this mean this is FAKE????"

Also:

The music of Karthik Calling Karthik

2010-01-28T00:04:00.001-06:00

There are several reasons the music of the upcoming Farhan Akhtar-Deepika Padukone starrer Karthik Calling Karthik is very interesting to listen to.

The music of KCK is diverse. You'll hear all kinds of different but neighboring genres integrated to sound seamless - which comes from the composer's diverse influences.

Its emblematic of the new sound that so many new wave Bollywood directors desire - smart, urban, contemporary. It's not just enough to create hits anymore, composers have to deliver feel and popularity in a single package.

Charged with creating a trendy set of songs after a script hearing, composers Shankar, Ehsaan and Loy settled down for a bunch of jam sessions. A month later, they had this whip smart soundtrack.

KCK's flagship single is a song about a budding romance called Hey Ya! Unlike on Wake Up Sid where Clinton Cerejo's scratch vocals were retained on the massive hit Kya Karoon - this time Clinton's vocals were laid down for the final song. Hey Ya! is a frothy electropop track. Several times Clinton breaks out into a neo-soul alto, but only slightly so, keeping the song squarely in pop territory.

KK sings a ballad about a life transformed by love called Jaane Ye Kya Hua - a song that is allowed to breathe and develop amidst a meandering melody. Jaane starts like a power ballad, settles into an easy groove and gets its soul from a harmonica and KK's bravura singing.

Shankar Mahadevan opens the title track and hands it off to Suraj Jagan who sings it in low slung notes. KCK is a trippy, psychedelic song which gets its mojo from several deliciously conceived backup vocal bits by Suraj himself, Caralisa Montiero and Malika Singh.

Midival Punditz and Karsh Kale collaborate to deliver the instrumental Karthik 2.0. Tasked to compose the background music for the movie, Punditz and Kale realized they had a theme on their hands while scoring one of the scenes. Thus born spontaneously and added to the CD, K2.0 has speed metal guitars styled with electronica. It sounds terrific. Several times the Punditz will break the song down and incorporate KCK's signature phone dial tones into the music. There is some generic pacing with violins at the end, but its rousing and its absolutely forgiven given the other surprises on the track.

There are other interesting songs on KCK that you should explore. A more trademark SEL style - hindustani vocals over a dance beat - is put on high octane on Uff Teri Ada. SEL labored over this song the longest and paired Shankar Mahadevan with Loy's daughter Alyssa Mendonsa who makes a delicious debut. Kailash Kher does a stellar job on Kaisi Hai Yeh Udaasi which has a nifty melody driven by the interplay between a flute and guitar.

Click on any song in this post to listen. You can listen to all the songs in Saavn's widget below.

Ehsaan, Punditz, thanks for sharing your notes with me!

Mika + Himesh = Music Ka Maha Muqqabla

2010-01-26T00:00:00.003-06:00

MkMM is threatening to become a full fledged entertainer after a somewhat slow start.

How is this happening? Primarily a few judges have aligned with the camp of the show, but more on that in a little bit.

The outpouring of nutty behavior from a few has been infectious. Almost everyone regularly has WTF moments and the show hums along nicely. Because it appears that everyone might have smoked a doobie before appearing on TV, I hereby will call this show Zoobie Doobie Taram Pum.

A few weeks ago, stung by his defeat in one of the frivolous contests that propel this show, Shaan came out in full Zoobie Doobie mode. Wearing a sleeveless white shirt and prancing about on stage with the energy of a dancer, he flexed his muscles. No, literally. Several times. Thus indicating that he sings with his biceps. Powered by this jordaar display, Shaan won the contest and has happily retained his table thumping enthusiasm since.

Himesh, we all know, is a reality show man for the ages. He has been in fine form - primarily because he senses Shreya Ghoshal's constant irritation at him. Not one episode goes by when the camera will not catch Shreya issuing a subtle eye roll at Himesh's antics. Once we saw Shreya holding her head during one of Himesh's terrific bhaashans.

Thus needled (it's NEVER Himesh's fault), Himesh has become a philosopher judge. "What should I judge" he asks constantly. "Performance? Singing? His singing? Your singing? Why? What? Whyfor?" So scared is he of being judged himself that he feels the need to explain, clarify and ask for permission before handing out scores. Often he'll also say "ROJI ROTI BARKAT!!" and make a tiny puri with his shaking fingers.

But the judge who has really ramped up the fun on MkMM has been Mika. A week or so ago, pitted against Mohit Chauhan (who we all thought would be a pushover), Mika decided to sing a song and serenade Priyanka Chopra who was wearing a short, smart bob and an even shorter and smarter skirt. Admirably Priyanka kept her modesty intact but Mika, inexplicably caught in the moment, starting sobbing like a baby. He couldn't finish the song, swore loudly, then apologized and slunk back to his seat - using his scarf to wipe his tears.

This moment of loopy vulnerability touched me. Later Mika emerged in the final medley portion of the competition to do his famous helicopter move - where he spins around and appears to be trying to torque his head off his shoulders.

Brilliantly enough this week both Mika and Himesh entered the fray as competitors. And predictably it resulted in MkMM's greatest episode yet.

This competition was close: Himesh's first entry - Vineet faltered badly. Toshi appeared for Mika's team and opened up a three point lead. Himesh's smile disappeared. Gloom and doom settled into The House of Reshammiya. But you can't keep a fierce competitor down and so Himesh threw little Aishwarya in the maidan in the second round. Aishwarya delivered a superlative performance - forcing Himesh to maro thumkas in the background and issue a number of sideways claps (first pioneered by Bappida for an entirely different reason: physical limitations).

The lead exchanged hands. Finally we all got to the home stretch where everyone from a team shows up on stage and sings a medley. Himesh ran out on stage and issued a bhaashan with fervor. He said a number of things that sounded passionate and important. I didn't understand any of it. Then he scampered off and returned in his long mothballed topi to sing one of his famous hits-in-a-row medleys. He sent the crowd in a frenzy - revealing that there are more rickshawallahs in Mumbai then one might be inclined to believe.

Galvanized by this dramebaazi Mika jumped up on stage and told the audience: "If you vote for me, I promise to sing Mauja Hi Mauja next time!" The competition had thus become a full fledged election with candidate promises. With this fell swoop, Mika elevated MkMM to TV greatness. He then delivered a mix of Punjabi songs so infectious that I sloshed my chai around everywhere.

Mika won the muqqabla and Himesh then delivered the first loser's speech I've seen on the show. It didn't matter - MkMM delivered entertainment in spades thanks to these two great reality competitors.

The rest of the judges - Mohit, Shreya and Shankar - try to keep up will you?

Bringing home Bollywood's most eligible bachelorettes: Another interview with TigerMaasi

2010-01-22T10:07:00.005-06:00

I often have this recurring nightmare. In this nightmare, the Drift Memsaab is leaving me for Aamir Khan. "Don't do this!" I plead. "How can you leave me for that short pengdu man?!" The Memsaab smirks at me and says "Pengdu? When was the last time you updated this nightmare?"

But before she can take off, I usually snap awake. I grope around the bed to make sure aal izz well and go right back to sleep.

But just the other day - probably because I ate too much grease at Due's (to be fair there was some pizza in it), my nightmare kept going on! The Drift Memsaab was gone. I was debilitated with grief! Frantic in my nightmare, I decided to call on the best person who could help me - my aunt Tigermaasi, astrologer to the stars.

Here is how the conversation went.

Me: Maasi, sob! My wife just left me!
Tigermaasi: (slaps me on the head) You must have done something terrible to drive that sweet girl away!

Me: I didn't look like Aamir Khan.
Tigermaasi: That bites. How can I help my favorite nephew?

Me: I'm thinking of marrying some hot Bollywood actress to get back at her
Tigermaasi: Ah! Revenge, it's a dish best served with mutton. But its bad for you!!

Me: Because of the mutton?
Tigermaasi: No, because of the heartburn from revenge. But I'm bored and need entertainment. So let's do it!

Me: What do you think of Kareena Kapoor? Will she be good for me?
Tigermaasi: Brilliant complexion! Beautiful girl! And she's even put on some weight now so you don't have to worry about her slipping off the couch onto the floor after a drink. But I'd say no to her!

Me: Why Tigermaasi?
Tigermaasi: Well you know how you've always been freaked out by her sister Karishma because she looks like Randhir Kapoor in drag? Do you really want to be looking at that every Diwali?

Me: Good point! Who would be good for me you think?
Tigermaasi: Saif Ali Khan!

Me: Sorry maasi, but I don't swing that way and I'm not sure he does either.
Tigermaasi: Your loss. I guess I'll just have to hunt him down and ravish him without your help.

Me: Hey who is this conversation about!? Let's focus! Any other suggestions?
Tigermaasi: How about Aishwarya? She is my favorite - such a lovely girl!

Me: She's married. Besides she's too pretty for me.
Tigermaasi (smirks): Well have you seen a photo gallery of all her men? I'd say you're in with a chance!

Me: One in a million maybe!
Tigermaasi: Well, that's still a chance! Paak Dadaar Hormuzd, you always sucked at Math!

Me: How about Lara Dutta?
Tigermaasi: I thought you weren't into men!

Me: What?! Lara Dutta is a hot chick!
Tigermaasi: Could have fooled me.

Me: Whatever. What do you think of Vidya Balan?
Tigermaasi: She is so beautiful and looks like she can flip a roti. But if she doesn't stop dressing like an amaa, you'll have to explain to our nosy relatives why you married your teacher.

Me: That would be awkward. Ok, what about Priyanka Chopra then?
Tigermaasi: I love Priyanka! Such a great personality - that girl is always enjoying herself and has so much spunk. She'd fit right into the family. But she is too high maintenance for you!

Me: How so?
Tigermaasi: Look at the all the things she wears! You'd be broke in a year and then she'd go back to Shahid Kapoor...again.

Me: That would kill me! Katrina Kaif then?
Tigermaasi: Not unless you want to be beaten up silly!

Me: By Salman?
Tigermaasi: No by the family bodyguard Sohail!

Me: Ouch! Well you know I've always had a thing for Bipasha Basu.
Tigermaasi: Forget her, you know how Parsi men don't marry anyone darker than them.

Me: That is so not true! Would you rather I marry Preity Zinta then?
Tigermaasi: That woman broke my sweet boy Ness Wadia's heart. For that reason she is a pariah in the Parsi community! Cute dimples and all but you'll be an outcast at ALL Parsi functions and will have to stop going to them altogether!

Me: Wow, that sounds like a good deal!
Tigermaasi: You napphat chhokra! Can you really live with no more Patra ni Machhi? Or Sali Boti for that?

Me: Goodbye Preity then! Speaking of dimples, what do you think of Gul Panaag?
Tigermaasi: Huge dimples and even bigger...

Me: Maasi, STOP!!
Tigermaasi: Ok, I'm just trying to be thorough - these things matter to some men.

Me: Never mind. Should I just marry Celina Jaitley?
Tigermaasi: Dikra, I have to say this: WHAT THE HELL?!

Me: Why?
Tigermaasi: Didn't we teach you to marry a woman who is smarter than you?

Me: Celina is smart and compassionate. She volunteers for PETA!
Tigermaasi: So she is a VEGETARIAN! That's just sone pe suhaaga then! There'll be chaos if you bring her into the family!

Me: All I've left now is Deepika Padukone.
Tigermaasi: I have two words for you: RANBIR TATTOO! Avoid!

Me: Well can you just pull my kundli and make a prediction?
Tigermaasi: Sure! (Ruffles through her diary) You will have a lifelong relationship with whoever walks in through my door next.

Me: Whoa! Are you expecting company?
Tigermaasi: Yes, a hot Bollywood superstar wants to know which film to do next.

Me: Today might be my lucky day!

(The doorbell rings)
Tigermaasi: Get that for me, will you dikra?
Me: Sure!

Tigermaasi: Well who is it?
Me: *%#$! Its Aamir Khan!

I wake up.

My thanks to Joules for the idea for this post

How artist Kim Kyoungae poured her heart and memories into her new solo show

2010-01-20T00:06:00.002-06:00

Kim Kyoungae was born and raised in South Korea. She's lived in Vadodara for the past 16 years where she creates her gorgeous, often foreboding, intense, surreal paintings. She's done six solo exhibitions since 2000.

A while ago, after a gap of five long years, Kim went back home with her daughter. She re-entered her past and relived her old memories. She noted the changes and made some new ones. Along the way, something eventful happened. She watched a documentary on the young Korean women taken as sex slaves to serve the Japanese Army during World War II.

Like many whose lives are touched by this issue Kim was consumed by sorrow. When she finally was able to make sense of it, she put together her thoughts in a collection of paintings. Those paintings are part of her seventh solo show Resonance which opens at the Hacienda Gallery in Mumbai on January 21.

I invited Kim to stop by the Drift and tell us about herself and her work.

AspisDrift.com: Kim, you did your B. FA in Oriental Arts in South Korea. You then came to Vadodara and did a Masters in Museology. Now you are a career artist. How did this long journey happen?

Kim: I chose to come to Baroda because initially I used to prepare documents for Santiniketan. I found that the environment there was what I wanted. But I felt I wanted to search for another institution. Baroda is very active and very dynamic. So it was nice.

When I studied Museology my interest was in the conservation and preservation of Indian paintings. I knew about these before coming to India and I was very fascinated. I also studied Chinese and Korean paintings when I studied Oriental Arts. There were a lot of similarities between the two.

I came to realize that the aesthetics of what I knew and what I could see were very different here. So I took the decision not to take any academic training in Art. So there is less influence of academics on my work. Because I chose an indirect learning process, I could articulate my artistic message my own way.

AspisDrift.com: Did you set out to be an artist or did that just happen?

Kim: Ha ha! I never thought I could be an artist. When I was in in the 10th standard I was involved in Art practice with a teacher. But I didn't push after school and didn't join Fine Arts. I took a break of three years. I traveled. I took a temporary job. I had a very different life. I traveled alone almost ten years from city to city.

I tried to find an isolate place to find myself and concentrate and focus on what I like to do.

A colleague suggested that I travel to India. India felt like an extension of Korea - I didn't think of it as a different, far away country. My impression of India was that it had so much more variety than Korea - variety of culture, people, colors. Everything is different but it all exists equally in India.

AspisDrift.com: What has been the most difficult adjustment to make in India?

Kim: I still have problems with the reluctance to be able to affect one's own destiny. If there is an economic downturn for example, the belief that the self cannot impact it and its all part of destiny is something I have problems with. I also have issues with the religious and class divisions in India.

Indians are very warm and welcoming to foreigners. But its the division within India that disturbs me.

AspisDrift.com: Kim, I mean this as a compliment: some of your new paintings scare me to death! They are beautiful and foreboding. Where does this come from? Do you read scary novels or watch scary movies?

Kim: This is mostly because of the theme I've dealt with (the Korean Comfort Women of World War II).

This show is almost two years of my work. During the initial stages of creating these paintings, I was very depressed but I didn't realize it. Everybody around me used to notice that I was down and depressed but even when I realized this, I didn't know why. After a year into working towards my show - I was able to finally define the issue, control my emotions and paint them. I repainted several of my works at that point.

AspisDrift.com: Ok, let's talk about your working style. What is the process of painting like for you?

Kim: For me a painting is like a diary. There is movie I once watched in about a village where everyone goes to the trees. They put their mouth into the hollow of a tree and whisper into it. The villagers make a list of those trees that contain their thoughts. That is what my paintings feel like for me.

When I start on my paintings I write my idea down. Sometimes its one word, or one line or a haiku. I don't sketch out my idea because it dilutes the essence for me. I go straight to the painting. Earlier I used to paint one by one. Now I finish about 80% of a painting and leave it for some time. At this point I try to define it further. This process goes on in my head. So I attend to other paintings in the meantime. Then I finish the final work on the painting.

When I start its very abstracts - I paint the atmosphere. The form comes later. I listen to the paintings and I like to hear what it says instead of imposing my ideas.

AspisDrift.com: Kim, would you like to tell us about a couple of your paintings?

ALBATROSS: Ok, first let me talk about the painting I used for the invitation cards for my exhibition. It has a female figure with a big spiral on top. I was thinking of the victims of the sex slavery. These women were living outside their hometown and couldn't go back to their families. It's been almost 70 years since it happened. Society was much more conservative then. Recently even in India a girl was molested, couldn't bear to live with it and committed suicide. I visualized this type of horrified memory that the women carry as an albatross. I tried to imagine what the albatross might look like for the Korean women.

RESONANCE: My husband is an archeologist. I tried to imagine the excavation of a temporary site used to commit these atrocities by the Japanese Army. What could be under the earth? That was the initial thought. There is the image of a tree without any flowers. The tree might be dead - it even looks like a jackal. There is a traditional Korean blouse that can be seen on it. When archeologists find it - they would call it an 'artifact'. The women used in sex slavery were young so I used a colorful blouse.

Also:

You can see more of Kim's earlier work here
Kim blogs along with two of her talented colleagues from Vadodara on Theen Tamasha.
Kim's artists' statement for her new show
If you are interested in Kim's work, shoot an email to Jasmine Shah Varma

Oscars' big gamble: how it could work (or not)

2010-01-18T00:02:00.002-06:00

The popularity of the Academy Awards (Oscars) is measured primarily through the ratings of its awards telecast. These numbers for the 80th Oscars in 2007 hit an all-time low with 32 million. Last year, Hugh Jackman's appearance pushed that up to 36.3 million. But the writing has been on the wall for the Academy - less people want to watch their show and by implication believe in the significance of the Oscars. Worse, ABC won't pay as much for broadcast rights if they can't get advertisers to cough up money because of the shrinking audience.

There are several reasons for this decline in viewers - and this year the Academy is tackling one of those reasons.

First, as the US increasingly becomes a celebrity obsessed culture - the Red Carpet telecasts attract a steadily growing audience. This is where you get to see who dressed up in what and who is draped on whose arm. Once this celeb-gazing is over, people are likely to switch off their TV because they are either too exhausted or they have had their fix of the stars already. The Academy actually embraced the red carpet a few years ago by selling VIP access to ABC and becoming part of the circus. If you can't beat them, you join them.

Second, there are just way too many awards shows in the US. Granted all of them lead up to the climactic Oscars, but the quantity dilutes the Academy Awards.

Lastly, the Academy tries to reward smaller, arty flicks (ostensibly because the box office has already rewarded the blockbusters). This results in the fact that the majority of Oscars' potential audience hasn't seen most of the nominated movies. Thus disenfranchised, they tend to stay away from the ceremony. (It's like expecting an Indian to watch a tri-series cricket final in which India doesn't feature).

Last year the Academy announced a bold new change to the way they go about looking for their Best Picture in a bid to change this last factor. Here is how it works.

The Academy now nominates TEN instead of five Best Pictures. The pool is now bigger. Because there are ten nominees and the Academy used employs a First Past the Post voting sytem, the FIRST nominee that scores 11% of the vote during counting would win. (It doesn't matter if some other movie gets to a majority later on - by then the game is over). This has also been changed but more on that later.

So how does this make the Oscars more accessible to viewers? There are two ways this is supposed to help.

By expanding the pool, the Academy is encouraging its voters to include popular flicks - movies that made money because they were exciting to watch and reached out to a large audience. Movies like 2012 are still not likely to be nominated in this category, but a widely watched groundbreaking flick like Avatar will likely make the grade. With just five slots, Avatar's nomination would have been unlikely (the Academy still gets brickbats for ignoring The Dark Knight in its nominations in 2008).

At the outset this strategy makes sense. The most widely watched Oscar telecast was in 1998 when a whopping 55 million viewers tuned in. The reason? The widespread nominations for history's most biggest grossing flick: Titanic. But there are some problems.

If blockbusters make their way into the big picture nominations but regularly lose to the smaller movies - as they always have, viewers will develop ennui and tune off once again. In this case the ten nominees strategy will have to be mothballed. A number of people are expecting this to happen. The wider nomination slots are an experiment at best - but because the Academy is willing to try and take risks, its something worth supporting while it runs.

Here is where the second variable introduced by the new change comes in. Because of the First Past the Post voting system used by the Academy in the past, a movie could win Best Picture simply because it got the MOST early votes. In other words, if it hit its winning post of 11% of the total Best Picture votes before any other film does, it would win. The Academy has sanely enough followed its widening of the pool with an instant run off system. Its a bit complicated but it makes this race unpredictable. Heck if most Academy voters don't understand how this works, how will the punters?

This element of risk is what the Academy is banking on when it comes to bigger pictures holding their own against smaller nominees. There is some criticism of this voting strategy because it is inherently unfair to a film that would end up with majority votes had all votes been counted. But as it stands, it has the potential to really carve up predictions and make the Oscars unpredictable more so than ever before.

If the unpredictability manages to favor a few films that mainstream audiences are interested in, then it stands to change the industry itself. The gloss of Oscar buzz that draws so many big names to do smaller films will lose a bit of its sheen. That changes movie making dynamics (although an analysis of that is too involved to include in this post).

I'm not overtly worried about this unpredictability favoring bigger films: there is no such thing as a 'small' film anymore. Most films that prioritize Art over Commerce (and not that the other way is diabolical or anything - after all bills have to paid) are big studio projects at best and vanity projects at worst. Sure a small film will make its way into the nominations once in a while - but the mounting costs of running Oscar campaigns puts small budget flicks at a distinct disadvantage.

So what are the possibilities here? There are four permutations of the following: (1) Ratings are up or (2) Ratings are indifferent or down and (a) Everyone is happy with the Best Picture selection or (b) There is a hue and cry over the Best Picture selection.

If you look at the percentages, the Academy loses in the short term only if ratings don't improve. In every other case, they can claim triumph or claim the high ground.

Sure there will be arguments over 'dilution' of the prestige - which in my opinion are hokey: there isn't much prestige in a circus act masquerading as an opera. I see the Academy Awards as meta entertainment. If you perceive it as anything but, you might be missing the point.

The making of Ishqiya's Dil To Bachcha Hai by the numbers

2010-01-15T09:39:00.021-06:00

In this age of Youtube and what not - try as I will, its hard to listen to a song before watching its video first.

Take Ke$ha's Tik Tok (the first US Billboard #1 of the decade) for instance. Long after the insanely persistent tune left my head, the image of a trashed out party chhokri who gargled with Jack was so seared in my brain that it was hard not to break out into the song whenever I felt boredom (or the police) approaching. This took a while to get rid of. (I did however add the vaguely inappropriate term 'Blow my speakers up' from the song to my vocabulary.)

In a similar vein, I ended up discovering Ishqiya's flagship song Dil to Bachcha Hai via its 'making of' video. And this messed up my perspective completely.

It's easy to mistake this song as a simple melody. Its the production more than the melody that is simple. Composer Vishal Bhardwaj uses Hitesh Sonik and Clinton Cerejo as his producers and together they are able to use instruments sparingly without making the song sound sparse.

There are two things that give Dil to Bachcha Hai its lilting cuteness: (1) a waltz rhythm, minimal percussion and a peti and guitar as primary instruments that don't overrun each other (2) delicate vocals by Rahet Fateh Ali Khan.

I review music a lot on the Drift so I decided to do something different. I watched the 'Making of...' video instead and made some important notes.

Number of times someone says 'bachcha': 13

Number of times Naseer explains the role of a song in a film: 1

Number of times Naseer clears his throat while doing that: 2

Number of come hither looks thrown by Vidya Balan: 8

Number of dopey looks thrown by Naseer: 1

Number of times Naseer's age in the film is referred to: 3

Number of references to lyricist Gulzar's age: 1

Amount of enthu Naseer has for the interview = Amount of enthu KJo has for RGV

The different ages that love reduces you to a bachcha according to Vidya Balan: 15, 50 and 80

Times composer Vishal instructs singer Rahat on how to pronounce 'Safed': 1

How Rahat pronounces 'Safed': Soofayd

Number of cheeky looks thrown by Rahet at Vishal immediately after doing this: 1

Number of people who think this is Vishal Bhardwaj's best work: 2

Number of shots of Drift favorite Hitesh Sonik: 4

Number of stills of Gulzar shown in montage: 6

Number of stills in which Gulzar's mouth is agape: 3

Number of times third lead Arshad Warsi shows up: 0

You can listen to the songs of Ishqiya on Saavn here. Be sure to catch Rekha Bhardwaj's super nasheeli jazz ghazal Ab Mujhe Koi.