Assumption of Command

Still Among the Living

2009-04-21T18:18:00.002-05:00

Hello to all the automated spambots that still frequent this blog! Just an update for anyone who still checks in from time to time -- Mustang and I are still alive and kicking. He's enjoying the civilian life, and I'm adjusting to fatherhood. All is well, and your continued good wishes are much appreciated.

"They have the internet on computers now?!" -- Homer Simpson

Peeking From Behind The Curtain

2006-06-26T20:36:00.000-05:00

Hi. Dave here. I just figured I'd pop in to see who, if anyone, still looks at this blog. I realize it's gone a tad inactive over the last few months. Rest assured that Mustang is surviving and thriving in the civilian world. I'm muddling through as well, with little of consequence to report, other than what Em covers here.

Well, that and this.

Simpsons Quote Friday

2005-10-28T13:46:00.000-05:00

Offered without context or explanation.

There's no sugar in Pixie Stix!"
--Bart Simpson

Simpsons Quote Saturday

2005-10-22T23:53:00.000-05:00

Offered without context or explanation.

Tonight a city weeps, as, for the first time ever, a hockey arena becomes the scene of violence following a concert by Spinal Tap."
--News Anchor Kent Brockman

Simpsons Quote Friday/Saturday Lives!

2005-10-15T09:30:00.000-05:00

Offered without context or explanation.

All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say, 'Yo Goober! Where's the meat!?'. I'm trying to impress people here, Lisa. You don't win friends with salad!"
-- Homer Simpson

Technical Difficulties

2005-10-13T17:17:00.000-05:00

We'll be back as soon as we get everything worked out
-- The Management

2005-10-11T07:38:00.000-05:00

test

All tied up!

2005-10-08T12:12:00.000-05:00

Rules!
1. Write a Caption to this picture
2. Winners will be posted Monday
3. Make me laugh

Big Weekend.

2005-10-08T12:08:00.000-05:00

This is a big weekend here. It is my sister's wedding. I am seeing all kinds of family that I haven't seen in a long time. But most importantly my girlfriend is here. FCC@V flew in to town on Thursday. I haven't seen her in 16 months and things are great. I took her to the Liberty Memorial, The nations official WWI Memorial. We went to the top of the 217 foot town and had a great view of KC. We also had Gate's barbecue! MMMMMMMMMMM!

FCC@V is great. It is so good to see her.

Simpsons Quote Friday

2005-10-07T10:36:00.000-05:00

Offered without context or explanation.

Hey Marge, remember when we used to make out to this hymn?"
--Homer Simpson

Trying to be me again

2005-10-05T08:21:00.000-05:00

This is kind of a odd thing to talk about for me. But it is something that is important. I am in my transition to being home.

One thing I am that is new is clean air. The Army Medics warned us that when we get home we could find ourselves coughing for a couple weeks as our lung adjust to having air without dirt and dust in it. I have been coughing in the morning. I hope this doesn't last very long.

My last 3 weeks of the mobilization was very stressful. I didn't have a lot of time to do other thing. If you haven't noticed, my posting on this blog has been limited. It takes a lot of work and coordination to get a unit out of Iraq. In true Army fashion, it was not as smooth of a process as one would like it to be. We spent a lot of time preparing to clear all of the different places, but one particular organization really screwed us. When we called ahead to ask them what we needed to do to clear, they gave us a list and we prepared our document accordingly. But when we got to Kuwait to do the actual clearing, they gave us a completely different list because they had imputed info in their database wrong. This was incredibly frustrating. It almost made me miss my freedom flight trying to fix it.

Why am I explaining all of this, well now that my 14 month mobilization and 12 month deployment is over, cap stoned by stressful time, I don't want to worry about anything at all. I am sick of questions. I am sick of planning. I am tired of little details. I just want to relax and unstress myself.

BTW: Thanks for all of the kind words. I am very glad to be home, but I also want to get past the welcome home phase and just "be home". If I have to go to another welcome home ceremony I think I will have to puke.

Time Change

2005-10-05T08:18:00.000-05:00

FYI: Since I am no longer in Iraq, my blog clock needed to reflect that. So now the clock is set to Central Standard time. This has chaged all of the times on all of the posts.

About Dang Time!

2005-10-03T23:01:00.000-05:00

According to the comments being made, I have made it home. And since all blog comments are reliable, (yeah right) it must be true.

After two very long days in Kuwait, a 22 hour and 47 minute intercontinental flight including the 3 layovers, two incredibly bad Chiefs games, 5 long days getting my company De-mobilized with nearly zero internet access, and one Chipotle Burrito later, I am home in Kansas City. Phew!

It has been a long and hectic week and I woke up at 0430 this morning. More tomorrow.

Simpsons Quote Saturday

2005-10-01T10:27:00.000-05:00

Offered without context or explanation.

I know one of you is responsible for this, so repeat after me: If I withhold the truth, may I go straight to Hell, where I will eat naught but burning hot coals and drink naught but burning hot cola; where fiery demons will punch me in the back; where my soul will be chopped into confetti and strewn upon a parade of murderers and single mothers; where my tongue will be torn out by ravenous birds!"
--Reverend Timothy Lovejoy, addressing the children in his congregation.

Caption Contest Winners

2005-09-28T17:33:00.000-05:00

Yes, I'm still here. No, I haven't been ignoring you. Well, yes, I have been ignoring you, but I've had good reason, and regardless, it's nothing personal. Anyway, winners have been posted for both the bonus and regularly scheduled caption contests. Congratulations to me and all the other winners!

"Think of it as Star Wars, if Han Solo were the main character, and he still shot Greedo first."*

2005-09-25T08:27:00.000-05:00

Here's how it is: The Earth got used up, so we moved out and terraformed a whole new galaxy of Earths -- some, rich and flush with the new technologies, some, not so much. The central planets, them that formed the Alliance, waged war to bring everyone under their rule. A few idiots tried to fight it, among them, myself. I'm Malcolm Reynolds, captain of Serenity. She's a transport ship, Firefly class. We got a good crew: fighters, pilot, mechanic. We even picked up a preacher, for some reason, and a bona fide Companion. There's a doctor, too -- took his genius sister out of some Alliance camp, so they're keeping a low profile, you understand. You got a job, we can do it. Don't much care what it is."
--Malcolm Reynolds, narrating at the opening of each episode of Firefly

I don't go to the movies very often anymore. I think it has something to do with having worked at a movie theater. You know how people who used to work at, say, Wendy's oftentimes will make a point of never eating at Wendy's? Especially upon finding out how the chili is prepared? It's the same with me -- after having been a bow tie & vest-wearing monkey behind the box office glass at the AMC Ward Parkway, I have a hard time going to a theater without suffering flashbacks:

"I want two adults and three children to 'Striptease'."
"It was too dark in the theater; I want my money back!"
"What do you mean, 'A Mid-Continent Public Library card is not a student ID.'!?"

You people can be really irritating sometimes! You've ruined the allure of the movies for me. Well, you and the fact that I used to be able to get in for free, and have grown averse to paying.

(It wasn't all bad, though. As a twenty-two year old college graduate with a degree in chemical engineering, I got to scare the living hell out of a bunch of teenagers by telling them that if they stayed in school and studied hard, they could end up in the box office, just like me! I take my entertainment where I can get it.)

Anyway, I can count the number of movies I've seen in the theater over the last two years on one hand (and one of those -- Episode 3 -- I wish I could un-see). But, Tuesday night, I'm heading back to the scene of so many nightmares, and will do so happily in order to attend a bloggers-only press screening of Joss Whedon's Serenity!

Why get so excited about a movie based on a television show that was cancelled after only eleven episodes? Because they were a really good eleven episodes, and because I'm convinced that if the programming executives at Fox weren't collectively brain dead (whose idea was it to air the two-hour pilot episode last?), the show would have caught on in a big way. Because those of us who watched the show and made the DVD release of the series a surprise hit worked hard to make such a movie possible. Because I believe that there's a place for smart dialogue, imaginative storytelling, fully-realized characters and settings, and a quirky sensibility in cinema. Because the character of mercenary Jayne Cobb is worth the price of admission.

Regardless, Serenity is the one movie being released this fall that I'm really looking forward to, and thanks to this blogging gig, I get to see it in advance (and for free! Thanks guys!). Actually, thanks to this blogging gig, Em gets to see it in advance, too (the studio is hosting these blogger screenings all over the country). She and I will both be posting our reviews after seeing the film -- me here, and Em at her blog, "Random Musings of a Grammar Nerd.". Until then, check out the movie's web site, read the studio's capsule summary of the film below, and purchase your tickets for the premiere on Friday, Sept. 30!

Joss Whedon, the Oscar® - and Emmy - nominated writer/director responsible for the worldwide television phenomena of BUFFY THE VAMPIRE, ANGEL and FIREFLY, now applies his trademark compassion and wit to a small band of galactic outcasts 500 years in the future in his feature film directorial debut, Serenity. The film centers around Captain Malcolm Reynolds, a hardened veteran (on the losing side) of a galactic civil war, who now ekes out a living pulling off small crimes and transport-for-hire aboard his ship, Serenity. He leads a small, eclectic crew who are the closest thing he has left to family – squabbling, insubordinate and undyingly loyal."

*I can't come up with a better one-sentence description of the much loved, much cancelled television show, Firefly. It's not my one sentence description, of course; I stole it from an M.E. Russell article at The Weekly Standard. But it captures the spirit of the show.

I gotta Break Free!

2005-09-25T08:10:00.000-05:00

This is my last post from the Fertile crescent. This is a good thing.

The following must be said:

"That's the news, and I am outta here"

"I'm leaving on a Jet Plane... Don't know when I'll be back again"

"Catch you on the Flip Side"

"Hasta La Vista, Baby!"

"Goin' to Kansas City, Kansas City here I come..."

"I am outie, No Doubtie!"

"Let's break outta here"

Now everyone needs to help me out and identify these quotes.

BTW: Dave will be Judging the Caption Contest.

Grab hold of this Caption Contest

2005-09-23T22:22:00.000-05:00

Winner!
Mmm ... lunch!
Dave

(Wait ... wrong caption contest. Let's try again ...)
Winner!
Steer wrestling is another hobby ... it helps if they have horns to hold onto, but watch this.
Chevy Rose
The "Securing Future Free Lunches" Award
Here I am, plant one on the kisser.Mustang Mama

The Scooby-Doo Memorial "If it wasn't for you meddling kids!" Award
If I pull off his face mask ... I'll discover ... Howard Dean!
Sue Mitchell

The Non Sequitur Award
Previous comment made by me.
Souldier: Prayer Warrior
The "Don't Forget to Award Something to FCC@V" Award
Awww, aren't old guys so cute!!!
FCC@V

Simpsons Quote Friday

2005-09-23T00:24:00.000-05:00

Offered without context or explanation.

Oh, Mr. Pigeon, I'd kiss you if you weren't swimming with disease!"
--Lisa Simpson

Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolves? -- A Bonus Caption Contest

2005-09-21T23:03:00.000-05:00

From my personal photo archive, and based on a true story:

Winner (as promised):
Mmm ... lunch!.
Dave

The "Moral Victory" Runner-up Award
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death ...

SK

The Originality Award
Mmm ... breakfast!
Mustang 23

The "Truth in Advertising" Award
It looks like a rat on stilts. You nudge it and I'll yell TIMBER!
Ric

The "Short Man's Syndrome" Award
In spite of his small stature, the Drill Sergeant was clearly in charge.
Mustang Sarge

Challenge Issued, Challenge Met

2005-09-19T22:43:00.000-05:00

To answer your question, Mustang: Yes, I can.

I got them done on time this week!

2005-09-19T11:17:00.000-05:00

The winners in the Caption Contest are up. Once again we had a great turn out and some really good captions.

Make sure to come back next week where we will have even more fun making fun of people!

BTW: I am still stressing about inventories and redeployment junk, but think I see the light at the end of the tunnel and I am pretty sure it isn't an oncoming train!

Can you do this?

2005-09-18T09:31:00.000-05:00

Amazingly enough, I got a few minutes of free time. Since I needed a bit of a strees break I tried this little game:

Grow Cube

Can you do this?

I can!

OK there is a difference

2005-09-17T11:05:00.000-05:00

John of Blogotional has some thing to say about my Armadillo... Amarillo... Same Difference.

US Army In Iraq Declares War On Blogotional!...

I will fly myself to Iraq and immediately proceed to paint the entire base yellow, just to remind them of the difference between Amarillo, a lovely city which once housed a huge B-52 wing armed with nuclear weapons built in Amarillo, and a heavily armored rat.

Hey John: those are not American troops. :) It sure does look like a typical FOB.

Don't Monkey Around, Write a Caption

2005-09-16T22:53:00.000-05:00

Winners! (It was a tie!)
Now send up the real pictures of the Kansas Board of Education.
MustangSarge
Hey hey we're the Senate Judiciary Committee,
People say we monkey around.
But we're to busy preening,
To smack John Roberts down
Charles Austin

The "For Calling Dave a Chimp, but more importantly not calling FCC@V a Chimp" Award
Dave (Middle Chimp): "Hey! I'm tired of waiting for Mustang 23 to get his butt home from Iraq!!!"
Mustang Mama (left chimp) and Mustang Sarge (right chimp): {muttering in agreement} "Mmmm, Hmmmmm!!!!" Robin in Ohio

The "Change Step... MARCH!" Award
During a strategy session at a nature retreat, Howard Dean, Ted Kennedy and a sulking John Kerry (R to L) are informed that the resort is out of Jack Daniels.
Ma Deuce Gunner
I meant left to right.
Ma Deuce Gunner

The "Nothing to do with the picture award" Award
And for everybody else that says that Ohio has nothing in it I have one word for you: CEDARPOINT!!!!
KCNK