It is a time when we lose our magick and awe on our path and begin to procrastinate and even fear standing behind our own alter. A time when we simply question everything and believe nothing. A time when we’d rather cry softly into our own pillow rather than face one more day in this world. It happens for a variety of reasons, each as different and varied as the practitioner themselves. It also happens in varying degrees, some of the weaker kinds simply have us being blasé about ritual, while the strongest, known as the dark night of the soul, can be so dark that we turn our backs on our path altogether, even to our own deaths. It will happen to anyone following any spiritual or magickal path. None are immune, even deity had to go through this. There may be little that can be done if your in the middle of the dark night, but if you are, know that whatever happens, your goddess and god are there for you, waiting for the time when you reemerge into the light. For the weaker times, times when you have lost that awe there are things that can be done.

Escaping the blues

So, you come to the point where you are no longer a neophyte and are now trying to find those missing wicca 202, 303, and 404 books. Everything you do seems old. You’ve done it a million times and the thought of doing it one more time makes you want to fall asleep with boredom. Your rituals to the goddess and god are blasé and uninspired. As a matter of fact, when your in ritual you’d almost kill to be doing anything else. Yes, you are in the midst of the wiccan blues. Fortunately, there are some things that you can do to get that spark back. To find that fire of passion, and to get the awe and reverence that you once had back.

Ever try doing a ritual backwards? No I don’t mean that time when your coven mate, wyldfyre, called water instead of air, or when she called the god in before the goddess. I mean doing a ritual backwards, on purpose. Even the words. Instead of opening the circle, Close it. Instead of calling to the goddess and god, wish them well and ask them to go in your normal way. Dismiss the elements. Doing magick? Do it backwards too. Then, call the goddess and god in. then the elements, backwards. Cast your circle, then purify the ritual area, then yourself. Once there, sit down and meditate. You may be surprised by what you find. Do remember to dismiss the elements and thank your deity though.

Feeling less adventurous? Then turn your head and look at that bookshelf that’s sitting next to you. Yeah, the one with all your Wicca and Witchcraft books sitting on it. Here’s what you do. Get up out of the chair you are sitting in. Walk over to the bookshelf. Look for that book, the first one you ever found on Wicca. Move the incense burner that’s in front of it, you don’t want incense dust all over the carpet. Take said book off the shelf. Walk back to your chair and sit down again. Open said book. Do you smell that? That’s what a book starts to smell like when you haven’t opened it in more than a year. Flip the pages and skim the contents. Turn to the introduction and start reading. Remember the first time that you read this book and how awe inspiring it felt.

There are many more things which can help. Go out an take a walk in the forest. If you are lucky enough to live by woods that are private, then do this sky clad. psst, sky clad means naked. Even better, and slightly dangerous, we do like danger right, is to go out to a brook where you have some privacy. build a bathing area and then, during a thunderstorm, bathe your self. Yes, do it nude. Is music more your style? Find that song that fills you with awe and takes you breath away. Play it and daydream. Make an epic story in your head to go with the music. Even better, write it down and then share it with your goddess and god. No need for formalities. A simple circle will do. Call to them, tell them that you love them and tell them your story. Thank them and smile as they tell you that they love you too. Remember, they always love and understand you.

What if I’m too afraid

It can happen that, as the wiccan blues manifests itself stronger, we become afraid to stand before our alter to our deity. What if they are angry with me? What if they yell at me? What if they make my magick fail? These are all valid questions, but ask yourself, have they ever yelled at you for no real reason? Have they ever been truly angry at you? Would they really make your magick fail? If you can answer yes to any of these questions then perhaps your are not suffering from the wiccan blues at all, however it may be a time to look for a different aspect of the divine to worship. In truth, our goddess and god would never do any of those things to us. They are filled only with unconditional love and understanding. That is how they became deities in the first place. If your stuck in a rut, in the wiccan blues, they will know and will understand that you are going to miss a ritual here or there and may even not do them for a length of time. They will not even be offended if you decide to turn your back on them completely for any length of time. They have gone through the same thing that you are going through. Know that they are there for you and that they will shower you with love for the strength that you will show if you do a ritual to them in spite of the fact that you are scared. Whenever you fear something, you should always face that fear head on.

Again, my best advice here is to reread that first book you got on wicca. Do one of the fluffy rituals in the book. Just because you’re on your second degree or have been a witch for years doesn’t mean you can’t do a simple fluffy ritual anymore. Do a silly ritual just for fun. Remember to laugh. Laughter always banishes fear. If you really can’t stand before your alter, then sit down and meditate and go to them. Talk with them. Tell them of your fears. Cry with them. It will not take you long to find that you can stand before your alter and that they do understand and still love you despite the fear.

When darkness is all that there is…

The dark night of the soul. There is not much that can be said of this. It is highly personal and is the darkest form of the wiccan blues. For those that find themselves in the dark night, there is nothing but darkness and despair. It is a hundred fold worse then when a dementor (read harry potter) sucks out all of the good and happiness that you have. This is the hanged man of the tarot deck, Isa in the runes. It is a point of stand still. A point where everything is questioned. It is akin to Zeus turning his back on lighting, or Aphrodite turning her back on love. It is the very definition of pain and sorrow. It is the winter of our path. But there is always hope. The single ray of sunlight that falls to the ground upon a wilting flower, warming it, melting the snow, and encouraging it to grow. There is very little advice that I can give here. My experience with the dark night of the soul comes not personally, but only from watching a very close friend go through it. It was and is a very dark time.

Still, there are things that you can do. Do ritual, don’t worry about the content, just do it. Go through the motions even if they are meaningless to you. Just being in a circle with your goddess and god, even if you are questioning if they really exist, is good enough. Spend time with a close and understanding friend. Talk to them. Let them know what you are going through. Cry on their shoulder. Let them hold you up with their strength. If you find yourself alone, with no one that understands, then find those who will on the internet or else where. Leave a comment below. Reach out and make a new friend who will help you through this. Watch and read comedies. It is very important to laugh when we feel such sorrow. And most importantly, be patient with yourself. You will make it to see the sun rise again and you will be stronger than ever before. It does take time and will seem like forever, but one day, one day you will wake up and the birds will be singing, the sun will be shining, and you will suddenly realize, as you fall to your knees sobbing, that you are finally free from the darkness at last. Cry and laugh, just let all the sorrow pour out of you, there is no need to hold on to it. The light, just like your goddess and god, will be waiting for you when the time is right.

The wiccan blues. The dark night of the soul. It is a process that we all must go through. It is what Demeter went through when she lost her daughter to Hades. It is what the goddess went through when she entered the underworld and transformed. It is a spiritual death, but remember where there is death, there is also rebirth. On the other side, when you emerge in to the light. A new world, and new perspective will be there for you to explore. A new step upon your path and with a strength, that you never knew that you had, by your side.

Blessed Be.

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Wikipedia defines Wicca very simply as “a nature-based religion found in various countries throughout the world.”

The Celtic Connection Website defines Wicca as “a very peaceful, harmonious and balanced way of thinking and life which promotes oneness with the divine and all which exists.”

Scott Cunningham in his book Wicca: a Guide for the Solitary Practitioner defines it thusly “A contemporary pagan religion with spiritual roots in shamanism and the earliest expressions of reverence of nature. Among its major motifs are: reverence for the Goddess and the God; reincarnation; magic; ritual observances of the full moon, astronomical and agricultural phenomena; spheroid temples, created with personal power, in which ritual occurs.”

There are many more definitions of what Wicca is out there, however the above should give a good basis upon which we may proceed. To further define Wicca I will touch on each point in my own definition which I give below:

“Wicca is a nature based, Earth-centric religion formed upon the precepts of polytheism in its recognition of a Goddess and a God in divinity, it’s use of magical means to effect change upon the universe and within the self, and its recognition of all life as being sacred and divine.”

Wicca is a nature based and Earth-centric religion. It’s practitioners hold nature and the Earth in high regard. We believe the Earth and all of the universe to be divine and of the Goddess and the God. Not simply just of them, but many of us Wiccans believe the universe to be the Goddess and The God themselves. Life to us is sacred in all its forms as is also death as it is just a part of the cycle of reincarnation.

I will go more in depth with the concept of the Goddess and the God in a later posting, however it is good to know that in Wicca we see that there is a duality in all things, a male and female energy that pervades life and death itself. Built upon this are the countless cycles of reincarnation, the seasons, the moon, fertility… The list goes on and on.

One of the central core concepts of Wicca, and perhaps the most controversial one for those who are monotheists, is the use of magick as a means of spiritual ascension and as an agent of manifestational change. I will go over what magick is in a separate post, but suffice it to say that magick allows for a great deal of change to occur when used for a particular purpose and with the proper application of thought, will, and focus.

Wiccans also follow a path of observing astrological and agricultural phenomena. From this they observe the wheel of the year, the eight Sabbats and twenty four Esbats of the solar year. Sabbats themselves are the holidays of Wicca. The Wiccan year starts and ends on Samhain, pronounced Sow-in. The Esbats are themselves the observations of the full and new moon, and are a time when magick is typically performed. Each Esbat has a name and a flavor of energy that is typically associated with it. The sabbats also have a story and theme that go with each spoke of the wheel. More about this in a separate post.

Also of great import are the ethics that Wiccans ascribe to. They follow two rules, or more depending on what tradition they happen to be from. The two main rules are the Wiccan Rede and the three fold law. The short version of the Wiccan rede states: “ These eight words the wiccan rede fulfill; An harm ye none, do what ye will.” The second rule is more of a guideline. It is the law of return, a statement of karma. It states very simply that the energies that we put out, whether they be good or bad, will be returned to us three times as strong. Above all though Wiccans hold honor and integrity, or at least I do, to be their most important attributes and values.

Another core concept within Wicca is the use of the four elements, Earth, Air, Fire, and Water. The elements are represented by the pentagram whose fifth and top most point represents spirit which in manifest form, as the witch, controls the four elements of life. This is the point at which Wicca is so often maligned and associated with the monotheistic forms of evil. I state this very simply and plainly. Wicca is NOT evil. To be evil in the eyes of Christianity, to ascribe to their belief of a devil, is a falsehood to Wiccans. Christians often state thoughtlessly and zombie like that we worship the devil. This is quite impossible for a Wiccan however as to believe in the devil is to be a Christian. Understand that the reason that the monotheistic religions see Wiccans and Witches as evil and of the devil is due completely to the inability to acknowledge any other belief systems other than their own. To do so would be to cast away their own religion. Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place huh?

So, to sum up what Wicca is, I think that the Magic Wicca website says it best when they say that:

“Wicca is a forest in the light of the silvery moon…a glade enchanted by the light of the Faery. It is the dewdrop on the petals of a flower in bloom, the warmth of the summer sun on the skin, the fall of colourful autumn leaves, and the softness of winter snow upon the Earth. It is light, and shadow and all that lies in between. It is the song of the wind, and the tune of the tides. It is the symphony of life! To be a Witch is to be a healer, a teacher, a seeker, a giver, and a protector of all things living and alive. If this path be yours, may you tread it with honour and with light!”

)O(

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What if I didn’t happen to write down that meditation? Would I have still recognized the name? I may have, but I don’t have the best memory so I probably would not of remembered the name. The very act of writing it down however solidified, or at least made a marker in my mind for that particular name. The importance for journaling comes when you go back and review what has transpired in the past week, month, and year. It gives a rather surprising overview of where you have been and allows you to make striking links to where you currently are. I can not count on one hand how many times I’ve gone back and reviewed a meditation only to have a duh moment where I realize the answer to a problem that I had been having was right there in an old meditation. It’s quite frustrating sometimes.

At any rate, that brings us to how to actually keep a meditation journal. One of the easiest and cheapest ways is to use a notebook and pen, just like a dairy. Other means are to use a voice recorder or cell phone to record your commentary, though that is much more suited to dreams and channeling than anything else. I find that an electronic journal is the best as it allows you to arrange your journal how you want and gives you the ability and flexibility to do a search to bring up multiple entries on a particular search term such as looking for all entries with the term “donuts” in them. Also, electronic journals allow you to sort entries based on date, which is very useful in and of itself. I use the software package called The Journal produced by DavidRM. It costs $39.95 US dollars (at the time of this writing) for the basic edition all the way up to $109.95 US dollars (at the time of this writing) for the complete edition which includes some snazzy templates. You can also buy the templates as a separate package. He also provides a try before you buy download (that’s what hooked me) if you want to try it out.

I didn’t need all the bells and whistles so I went with the basic edition and have created my own templates. There are other programs like Microsoft OneNote that is part of the Microsoft Office 2007 suite, or you could even use Google Documents as your electronic journal. Either way you go, I do find that a good idea is to make sure that you print out the entries so you have a hard copy on hand. That way if you have a computer problem, you’ll know that your journal is safe and sound.

Now, I organize my journal based on a categorical and chronological system. In The Journal you can make tabs so I have a tab that is called meditation. Here the entries are broken down and organized by year, month and day. As I mentioned above I have my own template that I use to make it easier to remind me of what information I want to record. It goes without saying that you can simply write this out on your notebook in advance rather than use a template. Some good information to record would be:

• A title
• The phase of the moon
• The place you meditated
• The time of day
• The description of the meditation
• Any commentary, notes, or observations you made

The title is often overlooked but is a good way to make the meditation stick in your memory as well as to make it easier to figure out what the meditation was all about. For example, in my meditation log I have a meditation called The Library of Alexandria. It should come as no shock to anyone that the meditation was about the lost library of Alexandria and not a chicken named Sam. The phase of the moon is also important as it will allow you to see when you have strong meditations or weak ones and will allow you to pick out patterns after a few months of charting. Not to mention that esoteric things, like meditation, are often affected by the phase the moon is in. The place you meditated is also a good thing to record as it allows you to see how different locations influence the strength of a meditation. It is quite interesting to note however, that you can meditate while walking or even while in the shower. You don’t have to be sitting down and going “ohm” to have a good meditation.

The time of day is also important as this will allow you to figure out what time is ideal for you to meditate at and when you are at your best. If you are just starting out with meditation though, it is best to pick a time when you will not be disturbed and stick to it. For me this happens to be at night after I take my shower but you should choose what works best for you. The description is self explanatory. This is the bulk of the meditation. The ‘what you did’ and ‘what happened to you’ part and the reason for keeping the journal in the first place. And finely, you want to add a space that you can add any thoughts on the meditation when you go back and review it at another time. Any revelations and such would be recorded there as well.

So that, as they say, is that. Is there anything else that you like to keep in your journal that I didn’t mention? Have a nifty trick to journaling that you want to share? Go ahead and leave a comment below, inquiring minds want to know!

)O(

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It is incalculably important that we connect with our higher selves, which is both easy and almost always hard as the higher self is just as unique and different as everyone else out there and they can, and usually do, come to you when you least expect it. One thing is sure however, that is that when they do finally come to you, you’ll be ready for them, and certainly not even looking for them at that point. In the below meditation, my purpose was not to seek out my higher self, but just to go with the flow and relax. I’ll add some spares commentary within parentheses for added information. So without further ado, here you go.

Tonight was an evening just like any other. I got home, got out of my work clothes and went to wash the dishes. Nothing much out of the ordinary. Once done with the dishes, I headed upstairs and to my computer and am about to turn it on, when I realize that my roommate is on the phone. Our wireless router does not play nice with our cordless phone, so no Internet for me. I sat there for a moment or two, trying to come up with something more interesting than playing mmorpgs or tinkering with my blog, and then decided to go and meditate. (which is unusual as I don’t, or at least I didn’t at that time, meditate on a regular schedule)

Setting the mood and lighting tea lights in the meditation room, I sat down and relaxed. I began to breathe deeply and within a minute or two was standing before a beach, the quarter moon on the horizon. I watched the waves lap at the shore before I noticed that there was a path that ascended to the sky and into space.

This Path was unusual in that it was both shiny black, almost like polished black marble, but also transparent to a certain degree. As I ascended it felt less and less like I was walking and more like I was being propelled by a force of momentum other than my own two feet. Suddenly the path went vertical and I with it. Up and up in to space. I hurtled far out, past the galaxy and came back under my own momentum in an area where the stars were very sparse and it was rather dark.

I walked as the path flowered out and became a large rectangular shaped floor, the size of a great hall. Then from out of the darkness came a quite giggle. It seemed to echo about, bouncing off of hidden and unseen walls. Then a point of light appeared, and began to move around as if beckoning me to follow it. So I did. As I ran after it, the giggles continued, even after I fell down a dark hole in the odd floor.

As I fell, the darkness seemed to enfold upon me until my descent slowed and stopped. Again I head the giggles as the point of light sped away and disappeared. I walked forward, towards the last direction in which I had seen the light and had heard the giggles come from. As I did so, I heard the giggle again, from all around me. It was child like, almost fascinated with me, and very feminine sounding.

“What are you” I wondered aloud, for up until that point I had not had this kind of thing happen to me in meditation before. I wasn’t at all surprised when I got an answer. “You already know” the voice spoke. I remained silent for a moment thinking and heard her giggle again. “You always were so silly” she said and then I could see her eyes. She was right in front of me, not five inches away from my face. She began to appear, though she stayed mostly transparent. She smiled at me coyly and said “I am you”. (Here is where my light bulb went off… ding, higher self! Duh!)

I asked her if she was my higher self and she smiled at me and gave me a knowing look as she blinked an nodded at me. We spoke for a few moments, of what I can not remember at this point. (Damn my bad memory!) While we were talking, I felt as if the darkness was hugging me, almost as if it was a part of her. She smiled at me and got closer as she reached out with her hands and grasped the sides of my face with them. Her touch, if it can indeed be called that, was an odd one. Rife with what felt like gentle electric currents gliding gently across my face.

She asked me “Will you fully accept me within you once again? Will you allow me into your heart, mind and soul?” I nodded and said yes, that I would. She smiled and said, “Then promise me that you will listen for me when you hear my voice. It may be faint to you now, but the more you listen for it, the more you let me flow, the louder and more distinct it will become. For I love you as I love myself.” As she was saying this the darkness seemed to warp and wrap itself around and about me.

I heard her whisper “Allow me within you for I am you.” and as she said that a shiver went down my spine as I realized that it was not the darkness that was hugging me nor was it warping or wrapping, it was her in a transparent form surrounding me and entering my body. We became one at that moment. Whole once more. (A distinct feeling that is both unforgettable and indescribable! Even as I read this over to comment on, I feel that same shiver run down my spine!)

Suddenly, the darkness left and I knew that I was within a pyramid made out of a glowing crystalline material. As I felt about, with my senses, I realized that it was not a pyramid, but really a merkabah, and in the center most was a chair that was made out of the same material. She told me to take a seat and as I did a point of light shot down and up as well, entering both my crown and root chakra. The energy and light seemed to be assisting me in raising my vibratory rate, in what would seem like an attempt to help me connect with my higher self.

The light then engulfed me and at its brightest I became aware of many beings to my left and right, all standing in line heading towards the horizon. Then, appearing before me, was a series of stairs that led up to a pedestal. As I approached it, what was behind me simply melted away in to the light and all that was before me was the pedestal and the ornate, posh box that laid upon it. The pedestal and the the box faded away as I opened it, revealing a diadem within it.

A pair of translucent hands reached out and took the diadem and as they held it I heard my higher self whisper “This is a gift for you, learn what it is an how to use it.” as she placed it on my head. I felt it’s energy and light wrap around my head and then the light faded away and it became dark one more. “Remember your promise to me and to you” she said as a doorway appeared, with the beach where I began, not too distant from it. “Remember and return.” she said as I walked through the portal. “Remember and return…”

)O(

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"Astral Projection is quite simply the ability to change one’s vibratory state to the point where one temporarily leaves ones body, entering a different plane of existence. Just like a knife or any other tool, it is very simple and straight forward; however what it can be used for is so much more involved and varied. Are there any prerequisites?"

"Yes, just like becoming a nuclear physicist, there are prerequisites. Unless you are one of the lucky few who have a natural talent, or in the case of the nuclear physicist you happen to be a genius, there are steps that need to be taken before one can start astral projecting easily or even at all. That’s right, astral projection is not a standalone skill. You need to build up to it. Astral projection is a culmination of basic skills. Just like with the nuclear physicist, you have to learn 1+1=2 first. So it is with astral projection as well."

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No one ever said that stuff like kabbalistic pathworkings, chakra balancing, reiki healing, scrying, astral travel, energy working and raising your spiritual vibration would be easy. At least, I never said it. But what it can be, besides challenging, is downright interesting.

I don’t have all the answers. I am still working on this learning path myself. But what I can offer is a true and vivid account of my experiences along the way. Perhaps by reading what I share here you can better navigate your own soul journey. I give you a peek from my own seeking, a glimpse through the secret keyhole.

Whether you follow is up to you…

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