I believe so strongly that spaces for storytelling and truth sharing are pivotal to my own healing journey, that I gladly preach the tradition as gospel.

Story is what makes us human.

It places our bodies in the fabric of our lives, helps us remember who we are and who we don’t want to be. It brings pain and suffering into the light, keeping us from burying the hard-earned truth that frees us so we can recognize the gaslighting of denial and erasure. 

And yet, even as powerful and potent as spaces for telling our stories are, I still wonder if this work is enough in times such as these. I often worry … perhaps a better personal path would reveal itself if I had other kinds of gifts and talents like those I perceived as stronger, more able-bodied, with extroverted personalities and such. (Which is why I was really grateful someone came up with that social change ecosystem wheel, so I could check those worries at the door and tell them to “get to steppin’” as Martin used to say. 

But I am reminded of a story about love as told by Henri Nouwen. He recounts the story of a time when he worked in a residential community for those living with intellectual and developmental disabilities. He assisted a young man who could not verbally speak, and needed assistance getting dressed, bathing — the sorts of things I take advantage of on the regular. I know this work well enough, as I worked for a similar organization many years ago. 

It’s not easy work to be a care provider or a care receiver. Especially if you started off very independent and self-sufficient and raised in a world that prizes self-sufficiency. I worked in residential communities where residents put staff in the hospital numerous times, and I worked in communities where residents were harmed, abused, and taken advantage of by staff who had no business working in such settings. Like I said, it wasn’t easy work. But I had never thought about the lessons in love — lessons I didn’t realize others taught me — until I read Nouwen’s story. At that time in my life, I was on a quest to prove I was a valuable human being by what I could offer in service to humanity. Apparently, I had that in common with Nouwen, and I have a feeling some of you reading this today have been there too.

Nouwen learned love in a new and expanded capacity because of the young man he’d been assigned to care for. This person could not give Nouwen or our Western society all the actions some of us burn out doing so our lives are deemed worthy. Not this young man, he didn’t run the rat race or jog the hamster wheel, he offered Nouwen the gift of his vulnerability, his presence, his time, his companionship, his trust, and his witness and it was more than enough. Perhaps this young man didn’t know anything about a social change ecosystem, yet he built a bridge to the heart of a well-accomplished priest, professor, writer, and theologian and taught him a thing or two about the greatest gift of all — love. 

According to Nouwen, this story about the young man was also his story of weakness, vulnerability, and dependency — as well as strength, authenticity, and giftedness. And it’s a reminder to me that there is no right answer to the questions that often beg for a head response. The heart dives deeper past the surface questions to the core of the matter, giving us permission to live out a shared story of love in whatever our capacity is to live it … and that is enough.

*This post originally appeared on my Substack newsletter “Take What You Need”.

The post We Are Enough appeared first on Lynette Davis.

This month I dive deeper into spiritual practices that encourage healing in community spaces that center BIPOC and LGBTQIA+ experiences and wisdom.

I’ve been pretty consistently attending a meditation practice space called Sunset Meditation which is facilitated by Alexis Francisco, LMSW/M.Div. who I met at the Mystic Soul Project Conference in 2019 and stayed in touch via the Facebook. I asked him to share more about the healing space that has been so meaningful to me, and they graciously agreed to join me for a conversational interview. 

You can listen to the recording by clicking here. 

Around 1:41 Alexis begins to introduce himself and shares a bit about his background.

Around 2:03 Alexis tells us a little about their work as a social worker and organizer as well as the spiritual accompaniment work he does. 

Around 3:48 We talk about the demands of the world to split/compartmentalize ourselves and our work and how we’re fighting for a more integrated approach to living. 

Around 5:15 We begin talking about how Alexis, a classically trained social worker became involved in meditation. 

Around 5:36 Alexis shares his story around practicing meditation as a path for healing from addiction. 

“At the root of addiction is an attempt to deal with pain and suffering.” 

Around 7:44 Alexis shares how transformative it is to be able to be with yourself. 

“Meditation is a tool for training our awareness so that we can break some of those cycles of attachment.”

Around 8:34 Alexis begins to address the missing link in those meditative spaces which were very white and class privileged and his desire to be able to take into account racism and poverty. This motivated him to look for elements of meditation practice he was introduced to and found to be transformative but that he could find in the traditions practiced in his communities. 

Around 13:57 Alexis shares more about the politicized healing space they’ve created called Sunset Meditation, which takes place on Saturday evenings via Zoom. 

“Our healing is political…so much of mainstream healing spaces have attempted to strip the political from healing spaces as if it’s some sort of outside issue. The reality is that the systems of oppression and violence, and the political decisions; the consequences of which we’re living and surviving everyday, have a huge impact on both our experiences of harm, our ability and the ways in which we access healing.“ 

Around 16:57 we start getting static but it only lasts until around 17:23

Around 21:30 Alexis shares about the importance of creating “no shame” spaces as well as spaces that center QTPOC folx and BIPOC folx. 

“The ways in which we curate space, the processes, the language we use, the ways in which we even move through our processes, can themselves be inviting or alienating for people.” 

Around 29:36 Alexis shares reflections about giving ourselves permission to create, build, and call into being the spaces that we need. 

“There’s an invitation to know ourselves possible.”

Around 31:40 We touch on meditation and anxiety and how it helps us come home to our bodies. 

Around 36:08 Alexis calls out the problem with apoliticized views of pain and healing. 

“I believe in one-on-one therapy; it’s very powerful for healing, and also it’s not the only way to heal. Our people have always been healing in community.”

Around 39:15 Alexis shares how we can stay connected with their work.  IG @AlxsFrancisco

About Alexis

Alexis Francisco, LMSW M.Div. (He/They) lives and works at the intersections of spirituality, healing and social change work. He lives his commitment to the wellbeing and liberation of Black people throughout the diaspora and all oppressed people through his work as a community organizer, facilitator, therapist, contemplative and spiritual director.  His spiritual well draws from the waters of his training and practice in Christian liberation theology, Lucumi/Orisha tradition and AfroCarribean ancestral veneration. Alexis holds a Masters in Social Work from the Silberman School of Social Work at Hunter College and a Masters in Divinity from Union Theological Seminary. Alexis is engaged in community organizing that aims to improve the material conditions of Bronxites and shift the dynamics of power and oppression in New York City. He has experience in organizing and grassroots community work in a variety of areas including alternative to incarceration programs, equitable economic and community development, health justice and police accountability. As a therapist, Alexis supports the mental health and wellness of NYC based workers as they organize for equitable conditions and the transformation of their industry.

Related Posts

My Brain on Anxiety: 3 Ways I’m Managing It during the Pandemic

On Mental Wellness, Work, Religion, and Balance w/ Tiffany Jenkins, LCADC, LPC

On Mental Health and Spirituality Featuring: Tai Goodwin

Until Next Time…Peace!

Oh! By the way, if you want to learn more about the blogger of this post feel free to check out my about page.

The post On Mental Health, Community Healing, and Spirituality Featuring: Alexis Francisco, LMSW/M.Div. appeared first on Lynette Davis.

Anxiety is normal. It’s when it becomes pervasive to the point of needing professional intervention that we need to learn to navigate its symptoms better. I share some stories about my struggles with a general anxiety disorder and some tools I’ve been experimenting with during the pandemic that has helped me manage my issues and strive to live a wholehearted life.

Anxiety Management Resources mentioned during the recording:

I talk about finding a good therapist and how important it was for me to find a therapist who is both skilled AND culturally competent. Right now, there’s definitely a trend toward wanting trauma-informed therapists as well. Although there are many ways to locate a good therapist who will take your insurance or be willing to see you online, I’ve started an ever-evolving list of directories and tools on my Mental health Resources page.

Community is a key component in anxiety management. I mentioned one such community space where I’ve met and have come to love some really awesome folx: Mystic Soul Project: is a nonprofit centering the voices, teachings and dialogue of POC (people of color) at the intersection of spirituality, activism and healing. We celebrate POC spiritually and LGBTQIA+ expressions of the divine, centering the margins of the margins – including QTPOC (queer and trans people of color).

WRAP: The Wellness Recovery Action Plan or WRAP, is a self-designed prevention and wellness tool that you can use to get well, and stay well. 

These are the Three Specific “Tools” I promised to share with you that I didn’t tap into until the Pandemic began…

1) How to use a blue light filter on your PC or Mac. Researchers are continually releasing studies on the potential harm of blue light. When you stare at a screen all day and into the evening, it can affect your sleep and disrupt your body’s natural rhythms. For these reasons, blue light filters are incredibly important.

2) What is EFT tapping? It is an alternative treatment for physical pain and emotional distress. It’s also referred to as tapping or psychological acupressure.

3) Why Meditation? One study found that 8 weeks of mindfulness meditation helped reduce anxiety symptoms in people with generalized anxiety disorder, along with increasing positive self-statements and improving stress reactivity and coping.

Smash The Stigma T-shirt I’m wearing.

Until Next Time…Peace!

Oh! By the way, if you want to learn more about the blogger of this post feel free to check out my about page.

The post My Brain on Anxiety: 3 Ways I’m Managing It during the Pandemic appeared first on Lynette Davis.

Even outside of my particular context, “strong” tends to become this skewed vision of the person who appears to have it all together. You know who I’m talking about … those who:

• post positive messages on their social media soapbox;
• are consistent with their responses to your emails;
• actually answer the phone and return messages;
• don’t rush off Zoom as soon as someone says “the meeting is adjourned”;
• post pictures of their gorgeous partner and their smiling children;
• seem to accomplish all the things that look important;
• oh, and make bank! 

So we’re surprised and even sometimes disgusted when people in positions of influence have the nerve to share vulnerably about their struggles with depression. We’re shocked and devastated to learn about a favorite comedian or business person who died by suicide. The knowledge throws us off, especially when that person is our high school girlfriend and seemed so happy and well to do. 

But this post isn’t about “why” it’s important to check on people we care about. I’ve already written about that. No, this post is about “how,” 

How can we reach out and be supportive to our loved ones? 

There are no perfect answers to this question, but a few suggestions can go a long way.

If you are the “strong” friend and feeling more like a fraud every day, you’re in good company. We have all been there in some way, shape, or form. If you still have a little energy left, I want to encourage you to have the courage to reach out for support. If you are in a position where you have access to health benefits; employers who offer adequate workplace wellness support; or a family and support system you know you can lean on – tap into those resources now. When love is real, you are loved for being you, not for what you do. Take off the mask and lay down the cape … I promise, you’re worth it.

On the other hand, if you want to be that loving person to your strong friend, read on and take action by:

1. Paying attention: If your friend posts on social media all the time, but suddenly stops posting, reach out. It’s not always the algorithms. I know it’s hard to keep up with everyone, but if someone’s messages meant something of value to you and they disappear, see what’s up. “Greetings friend, I noticed you stopped posting on IG. I miss your messages, your presence always means so much to me. I know sometimes people need a social media break, but I just wanted to check in with you to see if you’re physically and mentally safe.”
2. Offering non-judgemental listening: Sometimes a friend will have the courage to reach out. So many people are uneasy about these situations that they overthink what needs to be said and done. We don’t have to be mental health experts. But we can be deep listeners. People often just want to be heard. Not advised, not told what they “should” do, not put in a position where you’ve somehow reversed the conversation and made it about you. Listen with compassion … for example, I saw a meme that addressed the way people reacted to a famous person’s vulnerability to mental health issues. It said something along the lines of, “that person will likely not see your responses, but your family and your friends will.” Agreed. Will you be the person someone can feel safe to be vulnerable with?
3. Going to wash some feet: Not literally! But a humble act of service may be just the kind of medicine a friend needs. When you have a friend who just doesn’t want to talk, but they’re open to small acts of kindness, their heart quietly leaps with the joy they forgot they had when you love on them. “Hey, girl! I just ordered some pizza and I sent some your way. I know you like breadsticks too so I got those for you. It’s my treat and just enjoy. I’m here to listen if and when you’re ready to talk.” 

I thought it might be helpful to hear from some peers who are also adamant about mental health and wellbeing. So, I reached out to a few women in my network.

Here are some ways they suggested to frame questions to check on friends:

I find starting by asking big picture questions opens the door for conversation … such as, “How are you doing with everything that is on your plate? How are you feeling about it?” – Shaillee Juneja @GW4WVoice 

I would say, “A lot of people are going through a lot of changes right now, how have things been lately for you?” – Robin Bender @mega_health_canada 

I’ll ask, “What do you need from me?” or “What can I do for you?” A lot of people will wear that mask and act like everything is fine because they’re used to people not caring but asking those questions puts one in service of the hurt and depressed person. – Raqui Beuviere  

For me the question would be, “Hey friend, how are you holding up these days?” I might even ask a friend “How is your mental health these days?” But that is pretty direct for most people to ask. –Nancy Board  

I’ll give you two-ish … “What has been difficult for you to do?/What can I do to help you with…?” – Dr. Ayesha Worsham – @knitwithanaturopath

“How are you feeling these days?” That’s of a slightly different quality than “how are you” and usually makes people pause and realize that I mean it. I am truly inviting a real response. – Crystal Chan 

I would ask this simple, nonconfrontational, and open-ended question: “How are things?” – Pamela Barroway

I’ll leave you with this … you may be pleasantly surprised to find that reaching out to be a loving presence to someone else, in turn, blesses you. 

What are some of the ways you would want someone to reach out to you if you are ever in need of support, whether you are the “strong” friend or not?

Until Next Time…Peace!

Oh! By the way, if you want to learn more about the blogger of this post feel free to check out my about page.

The post 3 Ways to Check on Your “Strong” Friends appeared first on Lynette Davis.

As a refresher on the way I do things ‘round here, I base my reviews off of my slighted tweaked version of a planning system called Life in a Notebook. My friend, C.J. Hayden introduced me to her system sometime after I had first become a student of her Get Clients Now program and I’ve been using it ever since. 

Like many others, I do choose a word and/or theme for the year. I simply incorporate it into my notebook system and formulate desires, intentions, commitments, and goals around it. There have been years where I dreamed up my words as a series for years ahead, and there were years where my word didn’t hit me until months after the start of the year. It’s always worked out. 

My word for 2020 was “Focus” and my theme was centered around creativity. I intended to get into grad school and pursue a degree in writing. I was going to need both focus and creativity to accomplish that so that’s where I directed my attention. 

Because I have been out of school for over…let’s just say it’s been a hot minute, I didn’t want to overwhelm myself until I had a rhythm.

Therefore, I didn’t write that many goals this year. Little did I know, COVID would shake up the world and cancel most plans anyway. If you remember, I spent all of 2019 resting in the gift of Love so I kinda felt that somehow I was given a heads up for this year. 

Plans? What Plans?!?

So what did I plan besides all things school-related? Honestly? A lot of internal work. More than anything, I wanted to remain faithful to my commitment to the Way of Love. I wanted to expand on my research and work around what that continues to look like for my life. I narrowed my focus on ways I could show up to this path for myself and the communities I was involved with. I was not all that surprised where my yearning has led me. I will blog more about this in the new year when things are a little more solidified, but as a hint, that pilgrimage to Spain made me realize how tired I was of the chasing the carrot lifestyle. 

It worked out that I finally sold my house this year! I have quite a few finance blogger friends, (one of them started a freelance writing school *affiliate link) so I try to catch some of that finance wisdom. I’ve joked that I feel like they are speaking some weird language that Google translate can’t seem to decipher for me. However, I understand ‘get thee behind me debt’! Less debt is less stress and less stress gives me more ease to focus on time spent with my Beloved. 

I would say that finding the Divine One during my struggles with anger and frustration was the hardest lesson I’ve been learning this year. Spiritual Direction and community have helped a lot. Developing a personal rule of life that encompassed practices that grounded me and helped me to center myself when all I wanted to do was react to my emotions in very unhealthy ways helped as well. I could sense several things at once: relationships deteriorating, my hesitation to welcome new ones, and my joy that others were becoming more solid. There was a lot of grief. But there was also a lot to be very grateful for as well. 

You can read more of my thoughts and reflections around anger, fear, and forgiveness here. 

It’s My Blogiversary

***sang to the tune of Tony Toni Tone’s “It’s Our Anniversary”***

Finally, come January 9th, I will have 10 years under my blogging belt! 

I’m not sure when I’ll be putting up that “coming soon” landing page, but this blog is getting a makeover to celebrate growth and transformation. 

Be sure to subscribe for updates about changes and other news.

Wishing you all a Healthy, Safe, and Blessed New Year!

The post Keeping My Eyes Looking Forward: A Brief 2020 Reflection appeared first on Lynette Davis.

I must admit I didn’t think it would take me this long to adjust to grad school. Since I’ve been wearing different hats and juggling multicolored bowling pins as a micro-business owner for so long, I figured what’s one more hat and one more magical act to add to the performance of, “Look how well I’m keeping it together! So amazing!” Now, let me tell you, I’m a Virgo, and with Meyers Briggs testing, I come up as a P or a J depending on my mood that day. Most of the time, when it comes to careful decision making, I lean towards J. I say that to say I’m a planner. I did some research ya’ll!

I reached out and spoke with current and recent grad seminarians, I did mental exercises on all the reasons I should and shouldn’t, (I drove myself nutter butters in the process) and I casually observed the habits of my bestie who happened to be a mother and a full-time employee with chronic illness, balance all that was her life while getting her doctorate in nursing. She and so many other women gave me all kinds of inspiration and motivation. I even wrote out a schedule of my daily activities after slowing down enough to track and document what I did for a week. I anticipated that I’d need a little more pep in my step beyond my mental health peer support groups and sought out a new therapist. I was ready! And then…life happened. Sound familiar?

COVID, increase in eating, insomnia, navigating restless and uncertainty, and it’s the political version of American Gladiator season too. Living with my more vulnerable dear ones had translated into me taking physical distancing to the 1000th degree. Then, when opportunities to feel like I was contributing to the movement more than I had been, came up, like a good codependent, I jumped in. 

Helping others is a great distraction to keep from dealing with yourself. I’m looking at you; fellow wounded healers. 

Grief builds up in the body, lingering around like residue

struggling to subdue the rising feelings of overwhelm 

and underwhelm at once. What a fragmented world,

for the fragmented souls we’ve become.

And so school, and unprocessed grief, awareness but not much relief. Committee meetings, papers, and colleagues wondering, “Annie, are you okay?”

Thank goodness for the tools of recovery. 

You know, I get that people want to teach courses about resilience. When you learn something, and you have the heart to reduce suffering in the world, it’s what you do. However, and I could be way off base, resilience is one of those life lessons that truly come from the school of the hard-knock life. It’s one of those degree requirements you don’t want to take but is well earned. And you’re fully aware that you’ll have to take continuing ed refreshers for the rest of your life to maintain it.

There are no shortcuts, not for these kinds of tests. It’s mostly trial by fire, and you learn to get forged in such a way that you’re better equipped for what life will teach you on another rainy day.

As for me? I’m wearing the protective gear of a consistent prayer warrior now. And in the quiet of the night, before the sunbeams tickle my eyelids, when no coach, counselor, friend, strategist, or another well-meaning person can reach me via phone or Zoom, I can breathe again and let the seeds of wisdom take root. I can stop chasing my shine and not feel awful about how unproductive I’m being or how smart I sound when the camera is on. This stillness, this silence, this sacred pause is what is needed. 

It’s what I need. And it has nothing to do with being introverted or an Enneagram 5 or whatever my desperate need to make sense out of the paradox that is life has me tinkering with at the moment. 

And I must confess, it sure does take me a long time to come back home to myself. 

But, I do know the way home.  

Until Next Time…Peace!

Oh! By the way, if you want to learn more about the blogger of this post feel free to check out my about page.

The post Growing Through The Changing Seasons of Life appeared first on Lynette Davis.

I’ve been waiting for a strong emotion to wash over me. But so far, I guess I’ve not processed my emotions or I’m still processing. It could be that I’m processing so fast that all that is left is for me to contribute to the movement by being present and doing what I have the capacity to do, or perhaps, maybe I’m just numb. Maybe both strong and numb, at least that was my response to someone’s either/or question. I often imagine freedom fighters and justice advocates who have been doing this work, repeating the same words, marching these streets, taking their knees, asking for things like equity and fair treatment, sometimes for unity and collaboration, other times just to breath easy…see with their own eyes as they get painted as instigators and dividers, and dehumanized in the name of maintaining status quo…I imagine they wake up to see all of this performative allyship (learn new terms everyday) and debate whether the bandaid wins that result from it will actually be the step closer to real policy change they aren’t distracted away from.

On Cookies vs. Going Naked

For my own sanity, as I wait for the cool wave of reality, (and the strong emotion I’m anticipating) to wash over me… no, I’m not giving out participation awards for being decent human beings. I liken it to when a grown man who has finally drained all of the resources of freely given generosity to the point of codependency and enabling behavior that has transformed over time into entitlement leaves his mama’s house, finally gets a job, and pays his bills, then goes on Facebook to ask for everyone to give him a cookie for adulting. Nope, there’ll be no cookies over here. I come from the field of social work and social services, this ain’t new to me. This ain’t new to agents of change at all.  As many people who come from these lines of work know, we have to take the good, bad, and darn right ugly of humanity as it is and not as we would idealize it. We have often done and continue to do thankless work for crap pay/no pay and the deep seated hope that the effort of planting seeds will bear good fruit one day. And still, we do the work anyway! We do it behind the scenes, we do it while the rest of the world sleeps. We do it naked, vulnerable and exposed, with our whole being-ness on the frontlines, backdoors, sidebars, and ad-libs.

On the shoulders of the ones who came before us

We bring our joy, our pain, our anxious thoughts, our worries, our prayers, our dreams, the experience of existing in our flesh with hand-me down labels, and with the labels we claim and the boxes we fight to not get placed in, with trauma trapped in our souls regurgitated to our children and our children’s children all in hopes of a deep healing that crosses dimensions of time.

On being while doing

And what feels like suddenly, (but of course, I recognize and understand the build up of burnout residue) a colleague and fellow mental health advocate shut down their business and started deleting social media accounts and I am worried and feeling completely useless.

And just a short while ago, I celebrated 12 step recovery quietly with some cake from a local bakery. A young lady comes out to the parking lot where there’s a space between each car and puts the cake in the trunk while wearing a mask and plastic gloves. She smiles with her eyes as she sees me in my mask and also wearing plastic gloves (‘cause I’m paranoid and stuff) waving cheerfully at her for doing what she does…ok, yeah I was also excited about the prospect of eating my cake.

And then the other day, in one of my peer support groups, I vented my anxiety about the risk factors involved with getting on a plane coming from Jersey vs maybe renting a car and driving west with all my identity factors on full display to a restless nation just to get to seminary and start my grad school education.

And the day after that, I had a call with my spiritual director. I rambled on and on about my own internal affliction with being called to walk the Path of Love but feeling unworthy and ill-equipped… and it sort of had nothing to do at all with the happenings around the world and yet perhaps it did, but even if it didn’t, I decided that I was allowed to have that moment in this movement too.

Until Next Time…Peace!

Oh! By the way, if you want to learn more about the blogger of this post feel free to check out my about page.

Sign up here for a free copy of The ABC Method to Managing Your Mental Health While Running a Business.

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The post The Night View for Such a Time As This appeared first on Lynette Davis.

I think it’d be a travesty if I didn’t have somewhere in my archives, a record of a reference to COVID-19. That in the year 2020, a time I once imagined we’d have flying cars, Rosey the Robot, and the full confidence of knowing exactly how to use those blasted three seashells that replaced toilet paper, we instead have a virus pandemic that has put the world as we knew it on a collective pause.

Technology is here to stay

However, there is at least one piece of technology we’ve managed to invent, the video calls! There’s probably more, but this video conferencing software has been made available for mass consumption and we are indeed utilizing this technology like never before. I never would have imagined that video conferencing would be the technological advantage that ensured physical distancing didn’t actually translate into social distancing. I never would have imagined that organizations that have been so insistent on being inaccessible to the most needy of us have made themselves and their services available via these technologies in order to save their existence. It let me know, that “we” of course were right about our proclamations of inequity. And I have a feeling that just as we’ve historically done, for the cooling down and soothing of egos, we’d better be prepared for massive gaslighting and some rug sweeping of history. It is absolutely no coincidence how too many people have conveniently forgot about “Black Wallstreet” and the bombing in Philadelphia…

But here we are, Zoom and HousePartying our way to social connectivity while “sheltering in place”. Because so many organizations and businesses have made these technologies staples to keep afloat, this introvert has been very social. More social than I was when I gladly stayed at home and didn’t need an executive order or recommendation to do so. The extroverts have managed to infiltrate our online paradise and exploit it. There’s pollution all over the online airways now! (Kidding guys!) But seriously, with everything happening amidst this pandemic, my anxiety is doing Grace’s “told ya so” dance. It has transformed from “could happen” and “what if” to “how long does this linger on the mail?” and “The Matrix will have you! The Matrix is Coming!”. My middle name should be Ms.Bleach, and it’s not in reference to the anime series, (which by the way, is AWESOME!). Mr. Clean ain’t got nothing on me!

Our Interior Castle Awaits

Yet, in spite of myself, my lack of control has forced me to really sit with the words of the serenity prayer. Made me contemplate the full depth of asking for serenity to accept what cannot be changed. Made me strum up the courage despite my anxiety to change what could and should be changed, and with great hesitation and a bit of trepidation, surrender to a deeper knowing and wisdom to know the one from the other. I have never prayed for the global healing of the world as much as I have to date. My mental health and healing learning have become more focused, (thanks accessibility!) my determination to slow down and actually understand the wisdom teachings rather than try to meet a goal of reading X amount of books a year just to say I read them, has strengthened as well.

I began to wonder if it was no coincidence that my theme last year was “Rest”. Perhaps we have been given an opportunity to recognize our collective yearning for intentional pause? Perhaps together and individually we are tired, our hearts are weary, our minds are idle, and we’ve been running on “E” for so long that we have become uncomfortable with any kind of break away or cessation from a rat race we complain about, but have convinced ourselves is an impenetrable, immutable fact of life. We’ve been teased with a dangling carrot and it seems that some of us have finally realized that chasing it, whatever “it” is, has been the equivalent of a dog chasing its own tail.

So, where do we go from here? I suppose, only time will tell. But if you ask me, we’ve been given an opportunity to collectively witness, “a kind of love that neither avoids nor invades the soul’s suffering” (Parker Palmer). I’m hoping this tremendous loss engenders a greater respect for everyone’s being rather than just our doing. I believe that tired bodies and dry bones do indeed come alive. And that we are experiencing a call to come alive today.

Here’s some Mental Health Resources to aid in that process:

1)Inclusive Therapists: culturally sensitive tele-therapy available.

2)Find a therapist through Psychology Today.

3)Love Yourself Love Your Business offers virtual peer support centering the challenges of small business  owners and solopreneurs.

4)Trauma Response and Crisis Care (TRACC) is offering free community care services for first responders, organizers, activists, and marginalized community members.

5)If you’re in NJ The Starting Point is now offering virtual 12 step meetings and therapy as well as a free lecture series.

6)In The Rooms offers many 12 Step Meetings and a few addiction recovery related resources.

7)Crisis Text Line is a global not-for-profit organization providing free confidential crisis intervention via SMS message.

Until Next Time…Peace!

Oh! By the way, if you want to learn more about the blogger of this post feel free to check out my about page.

Sign up here for a free copy of The ABC Method to Managing Your Mental Health While Running a Business.

Donations welcomed and appreciated: This site is ads-free and runs on the sheer power of my love and determination. If what I share brings you fresh perspective, inspiration, new resources, and/or value of any kind, please consider becoming a patron of this blog with a monetary donation.

The post In Our Rest, We Come Alive appeared first on Lynette Davis.

Tiffany breaks down the 8 dimensions of wellness. We also discuss making time for self-care in midst of our busy lives. And finally we talk about how Black faith communities and mental health advocates can meet each other half way to save lives.

Tiffany will be giving a virtual workshop about self-care strategies to help prevent burn out.

You can listen to the recording by clicking here.

About Tiffany

Tiffany Jenkins, LCADC CCS LPC is the Chief Executive Officer and Lead Change Agent of Awakening Change Counseling Services, LLC. With over 20 years of experience in the mental health field, Tiffany has developed a unique approach to coaching and counseling that empowers, motivates, and evokes change. She firmly believes in a collaborative approach to therapy and positions herself as not only a therapist, but a coach urging her clients to achieve their goals with love and support.

As a Doctoral Candidate of Organizational Leadership, Tiffany uses her expertise to also provide professional development and executive coaching to corporate clients, teaching them the art of freely giving to others.

As a founding board member of Love Yourself Love Your Business, Tiffany hopes to use her professional training and passion for helping others to help destigmatize mental illness amongst professionals, and be a positive force for change in her local community.

Learn more about Tiffany here: www.awakeningchange.org

Until Next Time…Peace!

Oh! By the way, if you want to learn more about the blogger of this post feel free to check out my about page.

The post On Mental Wellness, Work, Religion, and Balance w/ Tiffany Jenkins, LCADC, LPC appeared first on Lynette Davis.

In the past, I’ve shared that I actually like Mondays. It’s the start of my work week, so I like the idea of a fresh start; the excitement of the week before me is full of hope, and with it, the chance to do better, learn new things, make progress, and grow. 

I wish that’s where I could finish my thoughts about Monday but there’s a flip side to this. Because I also struggle with anxiety, the proceeding thoughts surrounding the idea of being overwhelmed and incapable, often paralyze me to the point of robotic automation which hinders my creative energy, and therefore deters my more natural productivity flow. What I mean is, unless it’s a default habit or a patterned task, I end up analyzing the mess out of stuff. I want to know how stuff works, where there’s connections, how to do something without making mistakes, picking apart and putting back together… (I may have been an engineer in my previous life.) While there is a time for analyzing, too much of it has gotten me stuck in the muck.  

When I became of aware of my tendency to self-sabotage, I was determined to turn it on its head and find the gifts and strength in my personalty traits.

Ease into the day

So, I start by easing into my day with an intentional habit of a morning practice. Yes, it does mean waking up earlier. But your morning practice is determined by you and what works best for mental health and sanity. I know I need breakfast, and I need to journal my thoughts and dreams. It’s something I’ve learned about myself over the years. As I’ve mentioned, my thoughts are all over the place and if I do my version of morning pages, I tend to calm some of the worries by writing them out. By reviewing previous journal entries, I also have proof that I was able to overcome perceived obstacles that at the time I didn’t think I would be able to. 

Write a brain dump list

I pray to my Higher Power and then proceed to write a list of things I’d like to get done for the week. I reference my Life in a Notebook monthly goals and projects. This helps me focus on what’s before me rather than the possibilities of everything that my imagination conjures that causes me fear and paralyzation. If I’m coming into my day grounded, I have less of a chance freaking out about the bajillion emails in my multiple inboxes, the to-do lists I left off on from last week, the new set of meetings I need to have and schedule and the countless follow ups I need to do for myself and my clients. 

Start with small quick wins

The next thing I do is take advantage of my “robot mode”. I always feel better if something is literally crossed off my list. Meaning, I am an old school notepad and pen person. I need to literally write down my to-do list and have the gratification of checking things off. As I explained, robot mode is about default habits and tasks I can do without a 2nd thought (no over analyzing). So, I start with something that is a quick and easy win. Email is usually not a quick and easy win. So, I don’t start with it. If you know that checking that inbox first and opening that one email  (you know the one) will mess your head up for the entire morning, it’s best you work on a few other things first. I’ve found that a lot of people in Western societies operate as if everything about their life is an emergency, and therefore in a sense of trying to have gain control, they will both intentionally and unintentional pull you into their chaos and call it being results oriented. I call it fanning flames. Beware of the raging fire that comes later on! 

Prioritize your tasks

If you want to get things done and still be in integrity with yourself, prioritizing is something you work towards doing and doing as well as possible. There are plenty of great methods for prioritizing, my training at AssistU introduced me to the Eisenhower method. I sucked at it and concluded that I sucked at prioritizing. It wasn’t until I worked one-on-one with my coach that I discovered I mentally prioritize so quickly and instinctually that I didn’t ever realize I had a method to my madness. Now, I’m trying to train myself to slow down enough so I can actually capture and document how I do what I do, so I can optimize my energy and time. Not for the sake of perfection, but for the sake of my peace of mind. I need to prioritize my mental health recovery work and leisurely reading time just as much as I need to prioritize my work habits.

Mindful Expectations

Finally, I readjust my expectations. Things change. I change. Mindful awareness of my personal standards, values and boundaries helps me honor that. In a practical and tangible way, I add and subtract items from my brain dump for the week. I take away items that I compete as well as the items that I know good and full well that I won’t make any effort to complete…due circumstances such as illness or loss of internet from bad weather conditions for instance. I started the new year with the flu so guess where my plans to go out in-person networking went? Trash! As far as adding things, I end up writing down what I tend to forget which are usually micro-movements; the small things that build on the momentum it takes to get a thing done. For instance a micro-movement could be how you organize and keep track of a task. Say for example I complete a task to “follow up with Maya” now my micro-movement is that I need to write a note in my CRM. If I don’t write said note, I won’t remember our conversation or if it ever happened, I will forget about the next steps we agreed upon, and the point of the follow up will be mute. 

By slowing down to breathe, prioritize, and readjust I stand a better chance at not running in to a burning building expecting to put out fires with my hope and determination. My hope instead, is my motivation, and my determination is outlined in my concerted and judicious efforts that ask me to tap into tools and plans that emphasize what is working for me and what is not. The more I know about myself, the more I know how to be proactive about managing my mental health. 

Until Next Time…Peace!

Oh! By the way, if you want to learn more about the blogger of this post feel free to check out my about page.

Sign up here for a free copy of The ABC Method to Managing Your Mental Health While Running a Business.

Donations welcomed and appreciated: This site is ads-free and runs on the sheer power of my love and determination. If what I share brings you fresh perspective, inspiration, new resources, and/or value of any kind, please consider becoming a patron of this blog with a monetary donation.

The post Breathe: Getting a Handle On Your Monday Morning Anxiety appeared first on Lynette Davis.