At the End of a Dirt Road

A Glimpse into Poverty.

2014-11-10T10:00:00.000-08:00

At our last Junior League meeting, our (fabulous, wonderful, amazing) president left us with some statistics and a challenge. It was really eye opening, so I wanted to share it with you.
Our mission is to serve the women and children of Angelina County. Our signature project, Back to School Bonanza, does just this.
Each year we provide at least 2,000 backpacks full of the necessary school supplies to begin the school year. Parents can bring their kids for: vision screening, head check, hearing screening, immunizations, hair cut, uniforms, and other things to help them kick their school year off right.
Based on the data collected from Back to School Bonanza and income eligibility for our programs, the average income is calculated on a one parent household with three children. Assuming they are working 40 hours a week at minimum wage, their net income after withholding would be around $1,004.00 a month. Based on the SNAP (food stamp) program guidelines, they would qualify for about $347 a month, or 80.13 a week, in food stamps.
So the challenge was to feed our family for a week on $80.
I thought that sounded easy enough. We usually eat dinner at my parents house on Mondays and with Clayton's parents one night a week.
So I made my grocery list and I headed to the grocery store thinking "I've got this."
We eat pretty healthy (emphasis on pretty) in our house. I make most everything from scratch and we have cut out most processed foods, so the bulk of my groceries are bought in the produce and meat sections.
I started off pretty well because produce is mostly inexpensive.
Then I went for meat. That added a pretty hefty dollar amount to my basket. Do you know how much ground beef is?! I knew it was expensive, but I had never really paid attention to just how much it was because we don't eat a whole lot of it.
I got out of those sections mostly unscathed and headed for the dairy. I got my staples and then hit the aisles for the few things I needed. This is where a big realization hit.
Healthy food is expensive. My box of brown rice noodles was three times the price of good ol' enriched noodles.
I started walking the aisles and paying attention to the healthier options of things and noticing how much more expensive they are.
We tend to blame the obesity epidemic in the US on laziness and lack of education. And don't get me wrong, that is a BIG part of it. But how can families living below the poverty line justify spending an extra $3 on a box of healthier noodles?
My trips to the grocery store typically consist of me getting the things on my list and throwing anything else in the buggy that I decide I need while I'm there. We DO have a budget for groceries, but going over it by $5, $10 even $20 isn't the end of the world. For people living in poverty, it could mean not getting the electricity bill paid.
I managed to come in around $75. I was pleasantly surprised that I was able to get food for a week for that and it opened my eyes to my frivolous spending at the grocery store. BUT that did not include ANY household items. That was strictly food. And I did have to sacrifice some of our healthier options to stay under budget.
It was such a great experience and really gave me a glimpse into the lives of the people we serve. We are so willing to do so much for them, but it's hard to relate to them and I feel like this helped tremendously, and for that I am thankful!
And just for fun, here is my $75 worth of groceries...

All the Judgy Parenting.

2014-11-08T15:49:00.002-08:00

Can't we all just get along and live in peace and harmony? Okay, maybe that's a little extreme. But friends, for the love. Can't we at least just embrace our differences and stop all this judgy parenting?

I feel like every time I turn around someone else has posted a judgmental parenting blog post/article/status on Facebook. Or even better, when someone posts something that they think is sweet or they can relate to, and someone posts a judgy comment on that.

We all parent differently. We are all different.

Does that make your parenting style the right one? No. No more than it makes me dragging my screaming child into the McDonald's bathroom to spank him yesterday the "right" parenting style.

Yes, I spanked him. Gasp. Maybe you don't believe in spanking. That's okay. I do. And that's okay too.

Sometimes I give my kid Oreo's for breakfast. Because you know what? I don't feel like fighting with him.

Sometimes I let him watch ten episodes of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse in one day. Because I need to get some things done.

Sometimes I let Gavin watch TV. Because some days it's the only thing that keeps him from crying.

Sometimes we eat McDonald's and Chick-fil-A in the same day. (Maybe we did that yesterday.) Because I need to get out of the house.

Sometimes I throw random parties for him and a couple of his friends because I know it will absolutely make his day. Because I adore every inch of him and want to do things for him that he loves.

Sometimes I sit and snuggle with him and the baby on the couch instead of cleaning the house. Because I know that far too soon he will be too big to snuggle.

Maybe my house is a total disaster almost all the time. Because sometimes there are just things that are more important. And because I live with Hurricane Knox.

Sometimes he wears a bandana and a fireman hat to school. Because he just wants to.

Sometimes he shows the most amazing childlike faith and trust in God you've ever seen. Because really, we are good parents and do our best to raise our kids to be Godly people.

I don't go into the play place with him, because he has to learn to do things on his own.

I don't help him climb up the really high areas of the playground. And it's not because I'm lazy, so I don't need you to look judgingly my way while you help him either.

Maybe I'm sitting on the park bench playing on my phone while he plays and the baby sleeps. Because 85% of my conversation during the day is with a toddler. Sometimes I want to feel like an adult.

I don't make him give a toy to another child just because he/she wants it, because that is not real life. I do make him give it back if he takes it from them instead of blaming it on him being a child and not understanding.

Here is the most controversial one:

Sometimes, I let him play with my phone. But wait, I'll do you one even better. He has his own iPod (which is really just my old phone). Yep. You read that right. My two year old has his own iPod.

He is incredibly smart. And I'm not saying that in a "my child is a genius" sort of way. It's just a fact. He is very, very smart. He has tons of education apps that he absolutely adores.

You know what he has learned from them? The alphabet. And the sound each letter makes. And within the next six months I have a sneaking suspicion he will start reading.

And numbers. And shapes. And animals.

And your mind would just be blown at how much he knows and how well spoken he is.

Don't get me wrong, he learns a LOT at Mother's Day Out. A whole lot.

But the fact of the matter is, I do not sit down and teach him these things. I am not a teacher. It is not my gift. We talk about things, but I do not teach him other than by our conversations and his observations of my life.

Maybe you sit down every day and do an alphabet lesson with your toddler. Maybe you homeschool your kids. I applaud you. Your parenting style is different than mine and I have so much respect for you.

But it doesn't make me a bad mom because I don't do those things.

Maybe you don't give your kid Oreo's for breakfast. Or at fast food. Or let them watch TV. Or let them have a phone at age two.

Maybe you do sit in the play area and climb around the playground equipment with your kids instead of playing mindlessly on your phone.

Maybe you make sure your house is clean before sitting down on the couch with your kids.

But you know what? It's okay. We are all okay.

We are all doing the very best we can to raise tiny humans to be good big humans. And we all do it differently.

My parenting style doesn't have to look like yours. You don't even have to like mine. And who's to say I like yours? But that doesn't matter. You do what works best for you and your children. And vice versa.

Why can't we all just start respecting those differences and that we are all a mess?

And we just pray that by God's saving grace our kids will all turn out okay. And that's really the best we can do for them.

House Plans

2014-09-08T15:28:00.000-07:00

If I said I haven't had time to blog lately, I'd be lying. The truth of the matter is, I am totally and completely exhausted. An almost three year old and a five month old is no joke, folks. And have I mentioned that the five month old hates me sleep? So there's that.

A lot of you have asked where Clayton and I are moving. So I thought I'd answer that for you. You might be wondering why that takes an entire blog post. Well here you go...

We have gone back and forth on what we want to do a million times. I grew up moving from house to house every couple of years. My ~~parents~~ mom enjoyed flipping houses, so that's what we did. I didn't know any different. Clayton on the other hand, only lived in a few houses throughout his life. The one he spent most of his childhood in, his parents still live in. He loves that place. It sits on 35 beautiful acres outside of town, and to him that is home.

We have talked in the past about building a house somewhere else on that land, but it was always just an idea. It really boiled down to us just not being able to make a decision.

Fast forward a couple of years.

A few months ago, I started having really strong convictions about materialistic things. I have never been the person who had to have the best of the best or was always wanting something better. I consider myself to be a pretty simple person. Even still, I was feeling very convicted. We kept talking about how we needed a bigger house and we needed more land, and I just didn't have much peace about it.

I finally realized that we don't need a bigger house. We have two small children who are constantly under my feet, regardless of where I am. We eat dinner together as a family at the table. We spend our time together in the living room. We don't have TVs in any of our bedrooms. We don't even go into our bedrooms until it's time for bed. Really, we have plenty of space.

I spent a lot of time praying for God to guide us in the direction he wanted us to go. We knew it was getting to be time to move, we just didn't know where. We knew we would eventually end up in Diboll, and I want Knox to start school there if that is where he will end up.

A lot of people have preconceived notions of what it means to be a stay at home mom. The reality is, Clayton and I make a LOT of sacrifices for me to be able to stay home. We are a blue-collar, one income family. Our budget doesn't always work out on paper, but the Lord has provided for us for the almost two years that I've been staying home full-time. I wouldn't trade the time with my boys for anything, but sometimes the financial unknown is a scary thing.

We have so much to be thankful for, and we remind ourselves of that daily. We have a roof over our heads and we never go hungry. That's more than a lot of people can say. In 2012, 46.5 million people were living in poverty in the US. That is the largest number in all 54 years that the census has measured poverty. That is mind boggling. 46.5 million people.

Even still, it is so easy to get caught up in wanting more.

So there came another conviction. We could be doing so much more to help others. I finally realized that what I was really wanting, more than anything, was to not be tied to a mortgage anymore. I wanted the freedom to do more. Take our boys to see more things without worrying where the money was going to come from. But most importantly, I wanted to do more to help others. Those 46.5 million people living in poverty right in our own country. Every cent of our income goes to some bill or expense, and we decided it was time to change that. Our largest expense is our mortgage. So why not start there? I realize that sounds crazy. Stick with me.

Clayton got such a great deal on the house we are currently living in and we have put a whole lot of love and sweat equity into it. We stand to make a pretty good profit off of it when we do sell it. I looked at him one day a couple of months ago and said "I think we could build a house with the profits we make off of this one." He looked at me like I was crazy.

The more we talked, the more he understood my vision. He is incredibly handy. I am very resourceful (and handy). We can do a lot of the work ourselves. We can build a house that is big enough to suit our needs. In a few years, as we can afford it, we can add on the "extras" that we want.

We are so fortunate in that Clayton has incredibly generous, giving parents. When we presented our idea to them (which involved building said house on their land) they didn't even blink an eye before saying "absolutely."

We will be in the place that Clayton considers home. Knox will start school where we want him to. We will have a house that will meet our needs at this point in our lives. God provides.

So this is our little piece of paradise. It doesn't look like much now, but I can't wait to share the progress once we get the land cleared and get started!

And so the title of my blog holds true, everything I love is at the end of a dirt road.

What I Think About Your Boobs.

2014-07-14T08:28:00.000-07:00

I keep seeing all of these blog posts about boobs. Boobs everywhere. I feel like my head has been spinning about all of this and I have so many thoughts about it all. So I'm going to share them with you. Not because my opinion matters, but because this is my blog and I can write about whatever I want. Including boobs.
The first post that was posted in my newsfeed was from a woman pleading with other women to stop posting their bikini pictures on Facebook. Do you want to know what stands out to me the very most from her post? The part where she says she is fighting for her marriage.
I don't know anything about fighting for my marriage because Clayton and I haven't been through that. My guess is that most people read right past that part because they were too busy chastising this woman for writing a blog post telling women that her husband didn't need to see their boobs.
She says she's not insecure, but if you were fighting for your marriage don't you think you would feel just a bit insecure? Don't you think you would subconsciously pick yourself apart and wonder what your husband no longer loved about you...even if the reason you were fighting for your marriage had nothing to do with your physical appearance?
Don't you think you'd be constantly wondering if he was looking at other women thinking about how you don't measure up?
I understand the point the woman was trying to make, but I also understand why it got people so upset.
All of that being said, I don't expect women to stop posting pictures of themselves in their swimsuits on social media. I trust my husband. But let's face it, we're human. If there's a picture of a woman with a great body in a swimsuit, do I naively think he just averts his eyes? No. Is it sinful? Yes. But not anymore sinful than the mega-overeating-binge eating myself into a coma-fest that I may have gone on the night before.
Now, the next post I read. This is the one that really gets me. I just read this one yesterday. I probably couldn't even find it again if I tried, nor do I want to. This one was in response to the original post.
This girl picked apart the blog post sentence by sentence and repeatedly chastised this woman. It instantly made me sick to my stomach and broke my heart. I had to stop after something along the lines of "you are a terrible, miserable woman who will be cheated on in no time." Wow.
Instead of berating people, why not lift them up? Why not pray for them?
Everyone has an opinion, and here is mine.
Do I care what kind of swimsuit you wear? No. Do I care if you post pictures of yourself on Facebook in said swimsuit? No. Am I going to judge you based on your swimsuit? No. Unless it's ugly. Then I might. (kidding.) Am I going to wear a bikini and post pictures of myself in it on Facebook? No.
As a married, God fearing woman (who also happens to have a not so rockin post baby body) I personally feel like it's disrespectful to my husband, to myself and to Jesus to do so. But like I said, that's my personal feeling. And it's okay if yours is different. This isn't about you. It's about me. And my world doesn't revolve around your beliefs and feelings.
But even more near and dear to me (and the point I'm trying to make), I feel I would be doing my children a disservice.
Yes, I'm raising boys. With that, comes teaching them about relationships and about women. More importantly, SHOWING them about relationships.
I want my boys to respect modesty in a woman. I want them to fully grasp the concept of the body being a temple. I want them to love women who respect themselves.
That looks different to everyone, and that's okay.
To me, that looks like wearing a more modest swimsuit in public. But it doesn't even stop there. It looks like wearing age appropriate clothes that aren't super revealing. Even when I workout.
Does that I mean I go out covered head to toe? Heck no. It's too hot for all that.
As much as I feel like this is for my children, it is also out of respect for my husband. Why would I want to run around town in clothes that show off parts of my body that are meant for no one but him? What is the point in that?
Do you want to know the craziest part to me? It wasn't until I read those two blog posts that I realized it, but this has all just come naturally. If you know me well, you know I am not a modest person. I guess it's been a gradual change. I didn't wake up one day and think "I'm going to stop wearing two piece swimsuits and low cut shirts today."
God has changed me and molded me into a woman who respects modesty and wants her children to do the same, and for that I am thankful.

Gavin's Birth Story

2014-07-07T11:27:00.000-07:00

Now that I've shared Knox's birth story with you, it's time to document Gavin's! Since his is more recent, it may end up being ~~a lot more detailed~~ long. Bear with me. I wasn't as good at keeping up with his pregnancy as I was Knox's, so I guess this makes up for that? (you know, just trying to justify it for myself.)
At the end of my pregnancy, I was D O N E. I loved every single second of being pregnant with Knox. I didn't necessarily hate being pregnant this time around, but it was certainly not as easy. Chasing a two year old around while pregnant is, honestly, ~~quite miserable~~ less than enjoyable. When I started my weekly appointments at 36 weeks I was dilated to maaaaybe one centimeter (I think she was just trying to make me feel better) and about 50% effaced. Same at 37 weeks, same at 38 weeks. At my 38 week appointment we had this conversation:
Dr. M: What day will you be 39 weeks? Me: Next Wednesday. Dr. M (looking at computer): Hmmm...I could do next Wednesday. Want to schedule it?
Hallelujah, praise Jesus....I'm pretty sure the heavens opened up and the angels sang. YES I want to schedule it. And so, we did.
At that point, I really wanted Gavin to just hangout for one more week. I swore I didn't want to be induced this time around, but that all went out the window about 32 weeks. Especially with Jessica's wedding ten days after my due date. Being induced a week early gave me 17 days until her wedding, which was doable (if you know me well, you know I went back to work when Knox was two weeks old. I'm not much of a homebody.). This time around we also had Knox to think about, and going into labor in the middle of the night was less than ideal. I get really tired of hearing people say "babies aren't meant to be born at your convenience. You should really let them come on their own." Yes, well in a perfect world that would be great. But in MY world, a scheduled induction was perfect because we didn't have to freak our toddler out in the middle of the night.
And so, he did. My children are happy to stay in my belly as long as they possibly can. It's warm in there. According to my mom Gavin was "happy in his cozy cabin." You're so clever, Mom.
We were scheduled to be at the hospital at ~~some ridiculously early hour before the sun was even up~~ 6am. I'm pretty sure I didn't sleep a wink the night before and I'm pretty sure Clayton didn't either. Knox's Auntie Jess stayed the night with us so that we wouldn't have to wake him up early and he wouldn't even know anything was amiss when he woke up. I went in to kiss him before we left and of course, I cried (I cried pretty much every night when I put him to bed after we scheduled my induction. Hormones are no joke.) He had such a fun day with Jessica and she was able to kind of prepare him for his brothers arrival!

We got to the hospital, filled out all of the paperwork (because I forgot to pre-register this time. Oops.) and got into our room. We had this massively huge room with a bathtub, which Clayton immediately started making rude, crude and socially unacceptable jokes about. I'll leave those to your imagination. I, once again, got into my lovely hospital gown and crawled into bed.
The nurse that came in to do my IV...well, I'm pretty sure she was trying to kill me. I hate having an IV in the top of my hand anyway, and this one was terrible. She apparently got it right next to a valve. Which means nothing to me, except that I thought I was dying. Okay maybe not dying, but I was sure I was going to pass out while she was drawing blood, which by the way, took like fifteen hours. Or at least it felt like it. Once she got that in, the very best labor and delivery nurse there ever was (whose schedule I may or may not have planned my induction around) came in. We talked game plan, started pitocin and waited for the doctor to get there.
Dr. M came by first thing and went ahead and broke my water to get things going. My nurse was shooting for one centimeter an hour and the plan was to have a baby before 5pm. Remember that time when I told you my babies are happy to stay in my belly?
The morning was pretty uneventful. My parents came that morning and the plan was for my mom to stay the day and to be in the room with us again. Clayton's philosophy was that everything went great with Knox, so why would we do it any differently this time?
This time around my doctor told me I could get my epidural just as soon as I wanted it. I am no hero, so I got that bad boy around 10am just as soon as I started to feel my contractions.
A couple of hours later the nurse came in to check me and laid my bed flat. I don't really remember what happened, but all of a sudden I was super light headed and felt like I could fall asleep in an instant. I vaguely remember hearing monitors beeping and Clayton and my mom freaking out a little bit. I remember another nurse coming in and asking my nurse, "is that her heart rate or the babies?" It was Gavin's and it had dropped drastically. I have these stubborn kids. Once I was sitting back up and on oxygen everything started evening out and I was fine. I think it was scarier for everyone else than it was for me because I really had no clue what was going on! After that I just wanted to nap, so I did for a bit.
A little later I could tell my epidural was wearing off on one side because I could freely move and lift one of my legs. The nurse called to have it re-dosed and the guy that came to do it wasn't messing around. I felt like each of my legs was the size of an elephant and as heavy as two! My progression was slooooow, but that was fine because I was comfortable and just hanging out. Every time someone came to check me I'd think surely I had made at least a centimeter or two of progress, but no such luck. A little before 5 my epidural was wearing off again, so we had it re-dosed before all of the anesthesiologists left for the day.
Best nurse ever left at 7pm at the end of her shift and I was still just hanging out around a 5-6.
A couple hours after she left, I once again felt my epidural wearing off and my contractions were BAD. My nurse wasn't taking me very seriously, and come to find out, they didn't think they were getting a very good read on my contraction monitor. I had been comfortable all day and at this point I was absolutely miserable. I asked her to please call someone to come re-dose it and instead she decided to try to move me into different positions to see if we could get it working again. I finally made my mom go tell her that if someone didn't come fix it, it was not going to be a good night (I'm certain those were the EXACT words I used. I would have never ever threatened to punch someone in the face)!
My contractions continued to get worse and I was starting to feel a little bit of pressure and all I could think was "sweet baby Jesus if the anesthesiologist gets here too late and I have to feel this baby coming out, I may never recover." Thankfully, that's about the time he showed up. We got it re-dosed, and right about the time it kicked in, I told my mom and Clayton that I felt like it was time to push. My mom grabbed the nurse and sure enough, it was pretty close to time. She had my push a few times just laying in the bed to kind of check and see how we were doing. She told me that he was crowning, and so it shouldn't take very long to get him out.
She got all of the carts in and everything ready to go and then called the doctor. She had me start pushing, and I felt like he was going to come any second. I told her that if she didn't want a baby born before the doctor got there that we needed to wait, so she told me to start breathing through my contractions instead of pushing. Oh man, talk about torture. All I wanted to do was push! Dr. M got there pretty quickly and started getting her gown and glasses on. She could see the misery on my face and said "I'm here! Push if you feel like you need to!" And so I did. One time. And out popped my sweet baby boy at 10:33pm! She was caught so off guard and wasn't even totally dressed yet! We all started laughing and couldn't get over the fact that he just kind of shot right now (sorry for that visual image).
I was so thankful to have not been on Stadol this time around. While I remember Knox's birth, I was so much more aware of what was going on with Gavin's birth. I was able to see Gavin as soon as he was born and I remember EVERYTHING. His lungs were clear enough that he started crying immediately, so they brought him over for Clayton and I to see.
I never worried too much about how I was going to love two children equally, but in that very instant I completely understood how it is possible. My heart was bursting with love for this tiny boy that I was meeting for the first time. And once again, our family was complete.
He was 8 pounds even and 20 inches long. Almost the exact same size as his big brother, and equally as perfect.

We finally got into our postpartum room around midnight, and I immediately sent Clayton for food. I hadn't had a single thing to eat since the night before, and I was starving. Pickings are slim at midnight, so we settled for Jack in the Box. A hamburger and curly fries has never tasted so good!

They brought Gavin to us for just a little bit so I could feed him and love on him and then we took him back to the nursery so we could try to get some sleep.

The next morning, all I could think about was getting Knox up there to meet him. We decided to let him go on to school so that we didn't totally disrupt his day and Clayton would pick him up and bring him to the hospital. We had visitors throughout the day, so that helped to pass the time.

It was finally time for Clayton to get Knox and bring him to meet his brother and my heart literally felt like it was going to burst. I could not wait for Knox to get there! And instead of telling you how it went, I'll just let you see for yourself. These are unedited (because who has time for all that with two kids), so you get the whole three minutes of video!

This semi-sweetness also took place.

And then there were four. And our hearts were full.

puj Splash Review

2014-07-05T14:38:00.000-07:00

When I was pregnant with Knox, a friend recommended the puj tub to me as an alternative to the traditional bulky infant bathtubs. Before I even got my hands on one, I fell in love with the sleek, compact and portable design of the puj tub. Once I did get my hands on one, it was all over. I was obsessed. When Knox outgrew it, we stored it for our next child and two years later when I got it back out for Gavin, it was still in perfect shape! That’s what we’ve been using for Gavin since he was born.

One day I was perusing Instagram and saw that puj was looking for product testers for a new product, the puj splash. Being the puj addict that I am, I of course applied. A week or so later I received an email that I had been chosen! Eeek! I was so excited and watched every single day for that FedEx package full of goodness. So that being said, here is my product review of the puj splash.

Out of the FedEx box came this super sleek box showcasing what the puj Splash has to offer, which is: a how-to guide, one puj Flyte tub, three Fresh washcloths, one Hug hooded towel and three Nubs hooks. I was immediately drawn to how the box is laid out. I think it’s very appealing and well designed. The box itself has a handle, which makes it easy to transport.

We have very small bathroom sinks in our house, so our original puj tub has always been used in the kitchen sink. When I saw that the Flyte was a little more compact, I got excited about the prospect of it fitting in our bathroom sinks. When we are trying to bathe both kids at once, we usually just put Gavin in the bath seat in the tub with Knox. I bet you can imagine how well that goes. As soon as I opened the box, I immediately had to see if it fit in our bathroom sinks. And voila! It fit! It was a tight fit, but it fit nonetheless. I couldn’t wait to get Gavin in to try it out.

To get started, I hooked the Hug towel around my neck with the easy to use silicone tabs. The whole purpose of it is that you can hook it around your neck to keep yourself dry hands-free while bathing your baby. You can then wrap your baby up in the towel easily at the end of bath time. It is so easy and very convenient, but probably not something I will remember to use all the time!

Like I said, the Flyte was kind of a tight fit in our bathroom sink. A tight fit mixed with a massive baby isn’t a great combo. BUT I did like having the option of bathing him in the bathroom while Knox is bathing. It’s super easy to setup. It folds in half, so all you have to do is unfold it and put it in the sink. The drain at the bottom works perfectly to get excess water out of the tub. I LOVE how soft the Fresh washcloths are and they are a great size for a big baby in comparison to a lot of the washcloths I’ve had in the past. Bath time was quick and easy in the Flyte and I found myself really wishing I had one when both of my babies were newborns! It’s more compact and a little more stiff and supportive than the original puj tub.

After his bath, I wrapped Gavin up in the Hug hooded towel. With it already being around my neck, it was super easy to just pick him up and wrap it around him rather than having to lay him down somewhere else. Talk about super soft. I wanted to wrap myself up in it! He usually fusses when it’s time to dry off, but he just laid there wrapped up in this towel for a few minutes, no problem. It’s made of thick, ultra-soft cotton, so I think it made him feel more secure than any of our other towels. Or maybe he just likes how soft it is. Who knows! All I know is, he looks adorable.

I think my very favorite part of the whole Splash set are the Nubs. They are just small, grippy hooks that you can hang anywhere, but they are a genius addition to the set! I chose to hang mine in the boys bathtub. The silicone tab on the Hug towel fits perfectly onto one of them, which is so convenient. The other two are now home to my TWO puj tubs. The original tub is magnetic, but I’ve never had anywhere to hang it, so it just ends up in the boys bathtub to dry. Now I can hang it on one of the Nubs to dry, and you have no idea how excited this makes me!

All in all, this puj enthusiast is a fan. I think this is a great combo of items that would make a great gift for new parents! It is convenient and easy to use, and let’s face it, who needs anything more complicated when running on a couple hours of sleep?

If you want your own puj Splash set, you can get one here AND you can get it for 20% off using coupon code SPLASHTESTER20 through July 31,2014. Enjoy!

Knox's Birth Story

2014-06-05T10:10:00.000-07:00

I was going to write Gavin's birth story first since it is the most fresh on my mind, but I find myself comparing the two so much that I feel like I need to write Knox's first. He is, after all, our first child. So here we go.
If you kept up with my pregnancy at all, you know that it was an incredibly easy, textbook pregnancy. I started going in for my weekly appointments at 35 weeks and at that point I was dilated to a 2 and 50% effaced. That didn't change between 35 weeks and the time I went to the hospital. At my 39 weeks appointment, my doctor told me that she would let me go to 40 weeks, but no further. She told me that she is a firm believer that nothing good happens after 40 weeks. That was fine with me. I was beyond ready for that baby to be OUT! (If you know how this story ends, you know I don't have small children, so I was highly uncomfortable and miserable by this point!)
My doctor was going to be out of town on the day that I was technically 40 weeks, so we went ahead and scheduled my induction for a few days later (December 20th) in hopes that I would go into labor on my own before that. No such luck, of course.
The 20th rolled around and I decided I would work that day since I didn't have to be at the hospital until that evening. I worked until lunch time and went home, took a shower and got everything ready to go. Clayton came home from work a little early, and we packed our bags and headed to the hospital at 6pm. When we got there, Labor and Delivery was CRAZY busy. We ended up having to sit in the waiting room for a little bit while they got a room ready. We got all of my paperwork filled out and finally got into a room. I got into my lovely hospital gown and crawled into bed to wait for my doctor to get there and tell me our plan of action.
She got there and told me that we would start Cervidil that night and hope that it would help get my cervix a little further along by morning. After a few excruciating tries by the nurse getting the Cervidil in (sandpaper anyone?), they gave me an Ambien and told me to try to get some sleep. I slept like.a.rock.
They woke me up about 7am on the 21st to take the Cervidil out and see if it had done any good. Before taking it out, the nurse said "everything is going to be a little more tender, just wanted you to know." Thanks for the warning. "A little" was probably the understatement of the century. I'm willing to admit that I'm a total wimp when it comes to pain and I have a very low pain tolerance...but holy moly, she wasn't joking.
My doctor came by that morning to just check everything out and they started my Pitocin around 8am. I remember telling my mom not too long after they started it that I was feeling a little crampy. By mid-morning I was having full on contractions and they were less than enjoyable. I had always heard that contractions we worse when you were induced. I had nothing to compare them to, but they were awful in my book. The hospital "recommends" not getting an epidural until you are dilated to a 5. I wasn't even close.
I finally asked for some IV pain meds, so I got those sometime that morning. She told me it would take a few minutes for them to kick in. I just remember feeling super tired all of a sudden, and I'm pretty sure I just passed out after that.
I only remember bits and pieces from the rest of the day. I know the nurse came in to check me at one point and my water broke while she was checking me. I remember them coming in and turning me in all sorts of crazy positions trying to get things going. I remember eating ice chips galore because I was STARVING and my mouth was so incredibly dry. Clayton said that I would basically wake up, have a contraction and immediately fall back asleep. All I remember is being in immense amounts of pain. And those people who say you forget the pain? They lied. I still remember it. Two and a half years later. My friend, Shealee, was due with a little girl about a month after Knox. She had planned to have a natural birth with no drugs. She and her mom stopped by to visit sometime in the midst of the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad part of the day. They had repositioned my bed (kind of like an altar- they must have known the only cure for my pain that was coming anytime soon was going to have to come from Jesus) and made me sit on my knees and rest my arms on the top part of the bed (you getting the altar image?). I remember thinking "screw this" and curled up in a ball on the bottom part of the bed. Well, that's apparently the time they decided to come visit. I don't even remember them being there, but Shealee still to this day cracks up because apparently I woke up when they came in, looked right at her and said "Don't do it without the drugs." and passed back out. I stand by that statement to this day.
Finally, sometime after lunch, after lots of begging and pleading and probably crying, it was time for my epidural. I have never been happier to see a man with a giant needle to stick in my back. The nurse gave me a pillow to hold onto and told me to "be totally still." I don't know if you've ever tried to be still through really intense contractions, but I was fearful for my everyone else's life. I remember that I finally just bear hugged the nurse and buried my head in her shoulder in a effort to be still. Looking back, I'm sure she really loved that. They got my epidural in quickly and it started working within minutes. Oh, sweet relief.
Because the Stadol just knocked me out and the epidural relieved the pain, I pretty much just slept the rest of the afternoon. They did have to put me on oxygen because Knox's heart rate kept dropping, but other than that it was a pretty uneventful afternoon.
Sometime after 3, I woke up and told Clayton and my mom (through my sweet oxygen mask) that I felt like I had to poop (sorry for the graphic details). My mom and I had this conversation: Mom: umm that probably means it's time for you to push! Me: no, I just need to go to the bathroom. Tell the nurse to come in here. I have to figure out how to get to the restroom. Mom:Just use your call button. Me: Really? With this oxygen mask on?
So, she so helpfully pushes the call button and announces to the entire Labor and Delivery floor, "Ummm she feels like she needs to poop!" Thanks mom.
The nurse came in and my mom was right. It was time to push! They called the doctor and got everything ready to go. I was still so out of it and really didn't know what was going on, but I remember having that moment of panic about pushing a watermelon out of a lemon. Everything happened so quickly that I didn't have much time to worry about it. The doctor got there and it was time to push a little before 4. I started pushing and one of the nurses said "Oh good, you can tell when you need to push and you're doing a good job. We won't have to turn your epidural off." I'm sorry, turn my epidural off? No. Just no. I'll just say, it's a good thing they didn't try. Knox's heart rate kept dropping, so my doctor was really pushing me to get him out quickly.
My mom and Clayton were amazing through the whole thing. I pushed for right at 30 minutes, and then I'm pretty sure I started to just pass out again. At 4:20pm our precious boy made his debut covered in hair. I remember Clayton saying "Do you hear that? Do you hear him crying?" I'm pretty sure I tried to smile and say yes, but I honestly don't remember hearing him.
Clayton told me later that he got really nervous right after he was born because he didn't cry immediately. They had to take him over to clean out his lungs before he made any noise. I honestly don't remember any of that!
They got him cleaned up and brought him to me and I can still to this day remember the feeling when they laid him on my chest. It was the most amazing feeling in the world and I finally understood how you could love someone that you just met with your whole heart. He was perfect. And in that moment with Clayton and our precious new baby, my life was complete.
They told me to spend about 30 minutes trying to breastfeed before we started letting people come in to meet him. He took to nursing without a problem, so everyone got to come in pretty quickly. My memories are still somewhat foggy even at this point. That Stadol is no joke.
After about another hour they came to take him to the nursery to weigh and measure him and give him a bath. One of the very coolest things is that a family friend who has worked in the nursery for as long as I can remember was the nurse who took care of him. That is so special to me. They came back and told me that he was 8 pounds, 1 ounce and 20 inches long. Like I said, I don't have small children.
Because Labor and Delivery had been so busy, postpartum was also very busy. We ended up having to stay in the L&D room for quite awhile, so I went ahead and showered and got dressed in there. I had a friend ask me before she had her baby to be totally honest with her about the whole experience. She wanted to know the things that no one tells you. The one thing I told her and that I would tell ANYONE is that the bathroom will look like a murder scene when you get done in there. No joke. No one told me. So you're welcome.
We stayed our one night in the hospital and got to go home around 5:30pm on the 22nd. Our world was turned upside down. After a few days I didn't remember life before Knox. It seemed as if he had been with us forever. My pregnancy with him was far from planned, but looking back I wouldn't have it any other way. He is my pride and my joy and he is the boy who gave me my most treasured title of mom.

Overwhelming.

2014-05-13T06:55:00.001-07:00

So I decided I wanted to be a better blogger and then I took a ~~small~~ three month hiatus. If I had to choose one word to describe the last three months, it would be: overwhelming. Not necessarily in a bad way, but overwhelming nonetheless. In the months of March and April I had two really big volunteer commitments and one smaller one. My baby sister came home from Africa. My middle sister got married in the hill country. Oh, and somewhere in there I had a baby. It makes me tired just reliving it all in my mind. So, blogging got put on the back burner. I want to share all of these things, and plan to do so over the next few posts. While I most definitely don't have it all together with a two year old and a one month old, I want to remember these times when my kids are older. So over the next few weeks I will share with you: Jessica's bachelorette party, Tori's trip home, Gavin's birth story, Knox's birth story (because I've never written it and I want to before I forget), Jessica's (beautiful, perfect, amazing) wedding, how life has been with two kids, and anything else I can remember that has happened in the past few months. So for today, that's it. But be on the lookout for more exciting posts to come! Today I am going to do my best to entertain Knox while it pours rain outside and turns my yard into our own personal monsoon. I hope you all have a fantastic day!

Knox-isms

2014-02-12T14:46:00.001-08:00

Knox started talking REALLY early and hasn't stopped since. He is in such a fun stage right now (even when he's making me totally and completely crazy) and I am really trying to savor every moment with him before Gavin gets here. Here are a few things about him that make me laugh on a daily basis:

Stickers. He absolutely HATES stickers. I don't know what it is about them, but he doesn't like them on anything. Every Sunday when we get to church, we go to the check-in kiosk to check him in. And every single Sunday as soon as we walk up he says, "no get mine sticker!" because he does NOT want the sticker on his back. There can't be stickers on his cups, anything. When all the nice little ladies at the grocery store ask him if he wants a sticker his eyes get huge and he yells "NO!!!" and it's only a little embarrassing. I have no idea where this hate for stickers came from.
For the longest time he referred to himself in the third person. "Knox tummy hurts." But now we've moved on to "mine." "Mine tummy hurts, momma."
One of his newest words is "together." It's so fun to hear him start speaking in longer sentences. He tells us all the time, "Let's dance together!"
He's also starting to figure out what "I'm sorry" means, but he doesn't quite have it down. He apologizes for EVERYTHING. And he does it in the most pitiful voice you've ever heard. I assure you, you'll give him whatever he wants if you ever hear it. "Oh, I'm sorry Mickey Mouse went bye bye momma."
Another one of his latest things is, "Oh, okay." When you tell him something he will always matter of factly answer, "Oh, okay."
He does this little inflection thing with his voice that absolutely cracks me up. It's usually when he wants something he knows he can't have. He gets this mischievous little grin on his face and says, "I want CAAAANDY?" with this really high pitched inflection on candy. It gets me every.single.time.
He wants to be naked all.the.time. He will get really excited about going somewhere and then immediately tells me he doesn't want to get dressed. It is an act of congress to get him dressed every day. He immediately strips his clothes off the second we get home every day!
He LOVES to dance. He started telling us awhile back, "I GOTTA dance!" and now that he knows we think it's funny he says it all the time.
He is obsessed with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and can tell you anything about any of the characters on the show.
He has picked up this eye rolling thing. It is the most hilariously obnoxious and frustrating thing I've ever seen. I don't even know how to describe it. When you get onto him, he closes his eyes and you can tell that he's rolling them and like flutters his eyelids at you. You just have to see it. Maybe one day I can secretly get it on video.
He really likes to tell you that he will "be right back." The other day he said, "Oh! I forgot! I be right back!" I'm not sure what he forgot, but he disappeared for a bit and showed back up empty handed.
He has become quite the momma's boy lately. I don't know if it's because he knows his world will be rocked in a couple of months or if it's just from spending so much time with me, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't secretly love it!

I guess I'll stop there for now. I don't document too many things (you know, first tooth, first steps, first word...all those things that good moms keep up with), so I want to try to occasionally make note of things that our kids do! Aaaand that means you get the joy of sharing in that.

And to prove just how much of a mess he is, here is a lovely picture for you. He was hanging out with his Auntie Jess today and she sent me this picture and told me that he gathered up all sorts of things in his basket, and got on the horse and told her that he would be right back and was riding the horsey to the grocery store.

DIY Gift Wrap

2014-02-10T15:53:00.001-08:00

Okay, let's just start this post by admitting that I'm a genius. I'm just throwing that out there.

This weekend, Knox had a birthday party to attend. We took a family shopping trip, in the rain, on a Friday night (are you experiencing the joyfulness with me yet?) to get a gift. We also needed wrapping supplies because this gift is for a little girl. And I don't think she would have much of an appreciation for my vast collection of "It's a Boy!" gift bags or tractor wrapping paper. I have no shortage of kraft paper bags at my house (we're talking bulk size boxes leftover from Blithe), so I decided I would just get some cute tissue paper and use one of those.

We got a gift, tissue paper and a few other household necessities and headed home. I got home and went to wrap the gift and realized I had forgotten to get a card. I ~~never~~ ALWAYS forget the card. Every single time.

I had just been digging through my super organized desk drawer in search of...who knows what...earlier in the day and came across a set of alphabet stamps. LIGHTBULB.

See, I told you. Genius. This took all of five minutes and was so much less expensive than a card that, let's face it, is going to see it's way to the trash can as soon as the party is over. And I think it gives the bag a little dressing up too!

This got my brain stirring and I came up with all sorts of sayings that could be stamped on bags for any occasion. So, if you're expecting a gift from me anytime soon, don't be surprised if it comes in a bag that says something along the lines of "Happy Birthday you sexy beast" or something equally as charming.

Random Things.

2014-02-07T06:00:00.000-08:00

1. I looked back through a bunch of old pictures this week. First, I cried. Am I really only a year (and 3 months) away from being 30? Where did my twenties go? And is my sweet precious baby really TWO?! Oh, man. At this rate, he will be 18 and moving off to college next year. I'm not ready for him to grow up. Not even close.

2. But then, I got really excited about all the super cute clothes he had as a kid that I now get to put on Gavin. You know, before he got all opinionated about what he wears. And only wants to wear blue jeans, tshirts and cowboy boots. I think my very favorite thing when he was a baby were the Children's Place stretchies. There are a few patterns that we have in multiple sizes. I can't wait to pull it all out and sort through it!

3. If you keep up with this little blog of mine, you know that I've been taking a sort of break from Facebook. This has literally been one of the best things I could do for myself. I can still share pictures of Knox (for family and friends who are far away to see) through Instagram and through my blog without having Facebook constantly at my fingertips. I don't have constant notifications popping up on my phone and that annoying red circle with a number on it isn't always lingering above the Facebook icon. Seriously, everyone should give it a try.

4. This little Facebook break has also made me realize how negative and sad Facebook can be. I read through now and it seems like the same people always have negative things to say. And I feel sorry for them. Not in a condescending sort of way. In a I really and truly feel so sorry for them sort of way. I know I shouldn't take Facebook at it's face value as the true indication of someone's life, but really, how can you not? It makes me so sad to think that some people literally have NOTHING joyful to post about. So I've decided to take a new take on this. Instead of simply feeling sorry for these people, I'm going to start praying for them. So just know, if you are always posting negative, sad, berating, depressing things, chances are I'm praying for you. Watch out.

5. I don't guess I have a #5. My life is really not all that exciting. So I'll end #5 with sharing a picture of Knox. You're welcome.

Me: Knox, are you sleepy?
K: yesssssssss. (insert dramatic, can't even hold his head up, sigh)

Have a wonderful weekend, friends!

Perfectly Imperfect.

2014-02-06T06:00:00.000-08:00

I have been working on this post for about a week now. I keep leaving it and coming back to it. I know the point I want to get across, but sometimes I have such a hard time actually getting my thoughts out in a way that makes sense.

Struggles. We all have them, right? If you say no, you're lying. I truly believe that at any given point, we are all struggling with something, whether it be big or small.

My current struggles may seem small to you, but there are days that they consume my life. Most have to do with pregnancy, some have to do with raising a strong willed toddler, being the wife God calls me to be, finances, trusting God with it all...you get the point.

Right now I have friends struggling with: finances, divorce, infertility, marriage, raising kids, pregnancy complications, loss of loved ones. I'm going to tell you about two of them. They have no clue that I'm writing this about them, by the way.

Actually, I'm going to let you read one of their stories for yourself, because there is no way I could possibly put into words what she's going through more eloquently than she already has. You can read about her here. Y'all, this is one of the strongest, most Christ-like women I know. She struggles and she falls and she grieves, but at the end of the day she knows that the only option is to give it up to God, because he DOES have a plan that is bigger than anything we can possibly imagine.

The second is a different kind of story. This friend has a husband who is gone for training for a new job for about six months. We aren't talking sitting in meetings all day training. We are talking the kick your butt physically and emotionally draining stuff. After a week of being there, he had to turn over his cell phone. This is a family man with a wife and two kids at home. He does get to come home on the weekends, but my guess is that it's mostly spent resting and soaking up time with his family. So back to the wife. She has a full-time job and two kids to raise. By herself for six months. Some of you may be single moms who have done this for as long as you can remember, and let me just say: you too, are an amazing woman. I couldn't do it. This friend told me over the weekend, "I'm just so tired. I don't sit down until I go to bed at night. I would never make it as a single mom." And my heart just breaks for her. Because I can't imagine life without Clayton for six months. The training her hubby is in is so exhausting and I know she spends her weekends tending to him and keeping her own struggles at bay and trying not to make him feel any worse about being gone. Let's just say, if it were me...well, pity party table for one please. But even in the midst of all of this, she is asking if she can help with a baby shower for ME and texting to tell me that she read my blog post and not to stress about baby G and that she would be praying. As tired and emotionally drained as she is, she is still putting others first.

I tell you about these two friends to tell you this. They are in the forefront of my mind because I pray for them constantly. And you know what? In doing so, I realize that even though my struggles can sometimes consume or ruin my day, I am not alone. I have friends who are struggling too. And by praying for them, I too find peace. It's a crazy thing, a relationship with Jesus. It is definitely not rainbows and unicorns all the time, but deep down in the depths of my heart, everything is always right when I am walking with Him. Please note I said RIGHT. Not easy, not wonderful, not perfect. Sometimes it's really freaking hard. But it's always right.

My point is, we all struggle. All the time. It's human nature. We are perfectly imperfect. As a child of God, I'm okay with that and I know that this life is temporary. When it's my time to go home, then things will be perfectly perfect. Until then, I have to remind myself that it's okay to struggle. It's okay to have bad days. Because I'm not alone.

Baby Gavin: 30 Week Bumpdate

2014-02-05T06:00:00.000-08:00

Look at that, two weeks in a row. Bam. Maybe if I post once a week until Gavin is born, he will have as many pregnancy updates as Knox. Maybe? It's worth a shot.

I had an elective ultrasound yesterday at AC. I absolutely love that they are always looking for volunteers for their sonography students. I get to really see how Gavin is changing and growing and I love it!

As far as pregnancy goes, things are good. It is still not as easy this time around, though! I am getting to the point where I can't sleep and I just feel like a zombie all the time. I am so thankful for Clayton. He is such an amazing husband and dad. I told him yesterday morning, "I'm sorry that I haven't been a very good wife lately." To which he responded, "You are not a bad wife! I don't know what it's like to be pregnant, but I do know what it's like to go with very little sleep, and I can't imagine being pregnant on top of that." Thankful for his patience, understanding, and willingness to just let me be useless sometimes.

I seem to have developed this crazy, ridiculous anxiety over the past few weeks. I worry about EVERYTHING, which is so unlike me. It doesn't matter if I know it's irrational or not. My parents had a weird thing happen at their house recently (that in all honesty, deserves it's own blog post) and then I couldn't get ahold of them. Within about five minutes I had convinced myself that I needed to go to their house and I was going to find them dead inside their house. Sorry for the morbid details- but seriously, it's bad. This is not me. If we're being honest, this is Jessica! I don't worry about things.

That brings me to my next point. My ultrasound yesterday showed that Gavin is breech. I know there is plenty of time for him to flip, but it has me worried. Knox flipped really early! Or maybe he didn't. Clayton thinks maybe he was breech at this point too. Either way, my anxiety (even though I know it's irrational) is getting the best of me. He is stretched from end to end and he's going to be out of room before too much longer! So, as petty as it seems, if you would say a little prayer that he flips before too long (or before I have to commit myself to Rusk) I would appreciate it!

Onto more fun things...

How far along? 30 weeks.
Maternity clothes? Do sweatpants count as maternity clothes?
Sleep: No sleep. Ever. None at all.
Missing anything? Sleep?
Food Cravings: Anything sweet! Cupcakes anyone?
Gender: BOY! Gavin Reece.

Movement? During my ultrasound yesterday, the girl said "Does he do this ALL the time?" Yes.
Mood: Exhausted.
Looking forward to: getting a little more prepared for this little dude to get here!

I have a doctor appointment tomorrow and I think I start going every two weeks from now on. Craziness. I can't believe we are almost to single digits in the weeks left countdown!

And here are 30 week pictures for your enjoyment!

If I Had a Girl.

2014-02-04T09:21:00.001-08:00

So let me start this post by saying I do not wish that Gavin was a girl. I also never wished Knox was a girl. I am not that mom. Really, I never hoped for a girl either time if we're being honest. I have said from the time I got pregnant with Knox that I would probably do better with boys and would be thrilled to be a boy mom. I would so much rather go to a baseball game than a dance recital. And let's face it, if I had a girl who acted like me as a pre-teen/teenager I'm not sure I she would survive. I'm fairly certain we are done having kids after Gavin is born, but if one day God gives us a little girl, great. If not, I'll be perfectly content with my house full of rowdy boys!

Now, all of that being said, the day I found out I was pregnant I, of course, started looking at all of the adorable things for both boys AND girls. I can't help it. It's in my nature. I can envision exactly what a little girl's room would look like in my house, how she would dress, etc. So if you want a little glimpse into what a girl's life in my world would look like, here you go!

I've said before that I am not very traditional when it comes to kids clothes. I could see myself being a little more traditional with a girl, but not much. I love these looks for little girls!

girls outfits via//turquoise bow shoes via//oxfords via//bird romper via//chambray + head scarf via

Her room would, of course, have to be adorable. The top left photo in this group is what I had picked out for bedding if baby #2 was a girl. It might be the one and only thing I am sad that I can't have with a boy! I am obsessed! Want to know the craziest thing? When I went to read the blog post about the room, it was for a little girl named Finley. That is the girl name I have been stuck on for probably two years now! If we were having a girl, it would have been meant to be! Except Clayton doesn't like that name. So that part would have been a problem. Details, right? I am also obsessed with the framed Shel Silverstein poems and might do those for my boys in a playroom one day.

nursery via//shel silverstein framed photos via//fierce print via//dresser via//basket via

So there you have it, the life of a little girl in my world! But I would take my dirty, stinky, rowdy, wild, precious, loving boys over the frills and lace any day of the week!

Super Bowl (It's All About the Food).

2014-02-03T06:00:00.000-08:00

...says the pregnant lady. Anyone who knows me, knows I love ~~a good~~ any excuse to have a party. When I'm pregnant, I love any excuse to have good food. Clayton decided he wanted to have some friends over to watch the Super Bowl. At first I was a little hesitant because I have been SO insanely tired and I've just felt like a walking zombie lately. And if we are being honest, my house was (is) a total disaster. But then I got to thinking about it, and I figured the Super Bowl probably called for some good food. I asked everyone to bring an appetizer and scoured my appetizer pin board (what did we do before Pinterest?) to find something delicious.

I'm a fan of all things cheesy and queso-ish, so I decided on White Rotel Dip from Deep South Dish. I am ALWAYS up for a recipe that includes cream cheese. Two blocks of it? Yes, please. It calls for Monterey Jack cheese, but I used a cheddar/MJ blend because I think everything deserves a little cheddar cheese. Talk about DELISH. I will most definitely be making this one again.

I wanted something sweet too, and I've had a mild obsession with this cookie dough dip from Add a Pinch since I made as a quick party contribution on a trip to Fort Worth to visit Clayton's brother. When I was going on and on about it yesterday, Clayton said, "I'll be honest, it's not my favorite thing." To that I say, more for me! (disclaimer: he is not a huge sweets person. Or at least he wasn't. Until he met me. Oops.) Don't listen to him. It's amazing. I've had it with graham crackers (honey and chocolate), vanilla wafers, apples...you really can't go wrong. Don't judge. I'm pregnant, remember?

Here are the recipes for both dishes if you want to try them for yourself! (hint: you can click on this picture and print it if you want!)

Here is my appetizer pin board for anyone who is interested. I've tried most of these, and the fact that they are still on the board means they were amazing! I make it a point to delete anything I try that isn't good because I will never remember whether or not I actually tried it, and that would just be unfortunate all over again.

And last but not least, here is an adorable picture of Knox enjoying the Super Bowl. He is currently obsessed with his infant car seat and the fact that it is HIS and NOT baby brother's. He does tell me almost daily that he will share his choo choo trains with "baby Gabin," so I guess even if Gavin doesn't have a car seat to be safely strapped into, he will have toys to play with. So there's that.

HAPPY MONDAY, FRIENDS!

My Baby Must Haves

2014-01-31T06:00:00.000-08:00

As we start to (finally) get ready for baby Gavin to get here in April, I am quickly remembering all of the little things that I used so frequently with Knox and that I need to replace/get more of before April! I figured while I was at it, I'd share them. You know, for anyone who cares, since I'm an expert mom.

When I was pregnant with Knox and trying to figure out what I needed I, like most people, scoured google looking for the best advice. I felt like most of what I found was advice from earthy, breastfeeding in public, cloth diapering, granola momma's. Not that there is anything wrong with that (more power to you!), it's just not me.

So here is advice from a barely kept it together, breastfeeding, show me the easiest way to get the most sleep at night, fly by the seat of your pants mom. As for the expert mom thing, let's face it: I was lucky to keep my first kid alive through his infant years. So take my tips for what you will, friends!

1. Okay so this is a cheat #1 because it's three different things. But I figured it was worth bundling them together. So, we'll do it like this:
1a: Medela Spare Parts Kit. I pumped a lot when I was breastfeeding Knox because I was working. I found out very quickly that since I was only functioning at about 50% 30% at that point, it was rare that I remembered to wash my pump parts the night before. These were a saving grace for me to have on hand!
(side note: I learned a little later that you can rinse your pump parts, put them in a ziploc and put them in the refrigerator. This is good for about 24 hours.)
1b: Lanolin. I used the heck out of this stuff in the beginning of my breastfeeding adventures because, let's face it, it hurts sometimes. It's safe for you and for baby, so it's a win win.
(side note: It will stain your clothes. My trick was to always have on a bra/nursing pad BEFORE I used the lanolin so that all it touched was the nursing pad. Problem solved.)
1c: Medela Quick Clean Bags. These were SO great when we were traveling. I'll be honest with you, I'm not much of a stickler for sanitizing. And I'll be honest again, everything goes through the dishwasher in our house. But anytime we had to stay in a hotel, I'd take one of these to clean pump parts, bottles, whatever I would have run through the dishwasher at home.

2. A swing. We have this one. Man, oh man. I can't say enough good things about this nifty little invention. Knox LOVED his swing. It would soothe him when he was upset and as he got a little older he loved to watch the birds spin around and see himself in the mirror. When he was about six weeks old he got a nasty viral infection and was super congested. His doctor told us to elevate his head while he was sleeping to help with the congestion. I wasn't quite ready to put him in his own room yet, but there was no way to elevate his bassinet. Solution: we moved the swing into our room and he slept in it for a few weeks.
(disclaimer for all of you who are freaking out at the thought of my kid swinging a mile high in the middle of the night: we turned it off when he went to sleep. And yes, we buckled him in.)

3. Chicco Keyfit 30. When Knox was born, this was the best of the best in terms of safety and it was what everyone was using. So, it's what we got. I feel like now there are a lot more fancy carriers out there, but this one served every purpose we could have ever imagined and didn't break the bank. It will most definitely be used again for Gavin.

4. Up&Up Diapers. Y'all, diapers will cause you to file for bankruptcy. And I just don't have it in me to cloth diaper. Props to those of you who do, but I just can't do it. I discovered the Target brand diapers when Knox was probably 3 or 4 months old and never looked back. We had used Pampers up to that point because Huggies didn't fit him right. We are still using them to this day and will be using them for Gavin too! I would love to know how much money this saved us so far.
Up&Up Size 1 Diapers, 112 count: $16.99 vs. Pampers Size 1 Diapers, 100 count: $24.99
Even better? If you use the Cartwheel app, there is almost always at least 10% off Up&Up diapers and wipes!

5. Medela Freestyle Breast Pump. This thing was a life-saver. I am not a nurse in public type girl, even if I'm covered. I have nothing against those who do, I just choose not to. I was also working full-time when I had Knox. So I pumped a LOT. This pump is small and compact and uses a rechargeable battery, so it's very easily transported from place to place. I could usually carry it in my diaper bag if I needed to! It has a hands free gizmo, but it always reminded me of dominatrix type things and I was never able to figure out how to make it work. (If you've ever seen it, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. Or maybe I'm just crazy. Could be that.)

6. Puj Tub. I LOVED this for bath time! It is one of the best baby inventions ever in my opinion. We don't have much any storage space in our house, so I didn't want one of those big bulky tubs that I was going to have to hide somewhere when we had company over. This fit perfectly in our kitchen sink and I could use the sprayer to wash Knox and stick the tub in a cabinet when we were done!

So, there you have it. The things that I need to go dig out of a box so that I'll have them when Gavin gets here come April!

Pantone Color of the Year: Radiant Orchid

2014-01-30T06:00:00.000-08:00

Let's just talk about my love for the fabulous people at Pantone for a minute. Ever since I was in school I have been totally and completely obsessed with all things Pantone. I feel like they have little tiny workers who live inside my heart and every year they pick the very perfect color to be the color of the year. In my FIDM days, I would sit in the library between classes and pour over the Pantone books. Oh, what I would give to have a personal library full of Pantone resources. For real. I'm sure some of you are thinking, "wow, you are really weird." I know. It's okay.

At the end of 2012 I was really digging all things green. And then, voila, January hit and Emerald was the color of the year (probably, I'm psychic). My mom created what was soon to be my very favorite paint color of all time (you know, for a few months), Iguana Hold Your Hand, and I painted endless amounts of things green. Not just any green, the perfect green. As 2013 came to an end, I decided it was time to move on to a new color to love. I am typically drawn to cooler colors, so I started eyeing blues. One of my mom's colors, Jaded Love Birds (Mom, why is my very favorite paint color not listed in your shop?!), is an all time fave. It's a nice grayish blue-green. But that wasn't anything new. I needed something else.

Is it obvious yet that color consumes my life?

So, 2014 began and Pantone announced this beauty as the color of the year. And now I have a new obsession. Everything about this color is just perfectly perfect. I shared a few of my favorite radiant orchid hued finds below, but you can see everything I'm loving via my Radiant Orchid pin board!

I love all of the home decor inspiration I've come across on Pinterest lately. If I were to add it to my home, I would do it sparingly. The big beautiful orchid colored walls are beautiful in a picture, but can you imagine your friends coming over? "Wow. That's a big.purple.wall." Realistically, most people aren't going to run to the paint store to snag a five gallon bucket and go to town. I would add in an unexpected pop with a piece of painted furniture or maybe even a vintage find that's already upholstered in your shade of choice. What it boils down to: I personally wouldn't drop a lot of dinero on a orchid themed room because in a year, Pantone will have a new color for me to pine over.

I think this color is an absolute beaut for events. I do love to throw a good party, and I can't wait to incorporate a few shades in my next decor scheme. It's eye catching and you can use it in a soft way or make it bold. There are so many options!

Feathered Fashion via // Orchid Hued Paint via // Striped Ceiling via // Tablescape via // Orchid Drinks via // Ice Cream Scoop via

So yes, this cool colored girl now has a fascination with this warm hue! It doesn't match my house. Not even close. But I'm DYING to get it on something, so stay tuned for what that may be! In the meantime, here are a few of my picks for color palettes that incorporate this fun new color.

29 Week Bumpdate.

2014-01-29T06:00:00.000-08:00

I won't lie, I had to catch my breath when I typed 29 weeks. Twenty nine?! Really? You mean to tell me that there are only ELEVEN weeks left in this pregnancy? I'm pretty sure by this point I had Knox's nursery done and I had most definitely updated my blog with more than one pregnancy post. Oops? It really is true that the second child gets the shaft. Sorry, Gavin. Oh- I guess I haven't mentioned that Baby P is a boy and his name is Gavin. Again, oops.

~~Clayton and~~ I decided to have a garage sale this weekend. I've been saying for two years "We have got to have a garage sale. We have so much junk." So I finally set a deadline for us. We've got to get rid of some stuff! I need to go through baby stuff and I can't even get to it. So that should be fun. Clayton is thrilled. But I'm hoping after that I can start getting a little more organized and ready for baby time.

Our poor neglected second child isn't really going to get much of a nursery. His crib is going in the guest room and he's getting to reuse big brothers bedding. I'm ready to change Knox's room and he's never even going to remember what his "first" room looked like. So I decided I'm not even going to bother. I know, mom of the year.

How far along? 29 weeks.
Maternity clothes? I am in my own version of maternity clothes. I bought clothes to fit when I was pregnant with Knox and I am most definitely wearing those!
Sleep: I finally got to a point where I was sleeping pretty good, but my insomnia is back. I should probably buy stock in Benadryl.
Missing anything? I would still give anything for a frozen margarita. With salt. Yum.
Food Cravings: I have had random cravings here and there, but nothing constant.
Gender: BOY! Gavin Reece.

Movement? This kid has dance parties every single night. Knox was not this active. I'm hoping that's not a sign of what's to come!
Mood: I feel like I've been in a pretty good mood, but Clayton may tell you otherwise!
Looking forward to: sorting through baby stuff and getting a little more prepared for Gavin's arrival!

And here are a couple of terrible pictures for your viewing pleasure. I shattered my phone last week and I think my camera took the brunt of the damage.

It's Not Me, It's You.

2014-01-28T06:00:00.000-08:00

One of the leaders in R+F shared with us recently that she does not have the Facebook app on her phone because of the huge distraction that it can be. At first I just sort of blew it off and didn't think much of it because, of course, I don't waste much time on Facebook. HA! Wrong.

Last week I decided to give deleting the app a shot just to see how it went. Y'all- I'm almost embarrassed to say that I felt like a recovering addict going through withdrawals.

We have become so reliant on social media that it's almost scary. I was NEEDING to see what people had posted and what was going on in their lives. And of course, share with them what was going on in my ever so exciting life.

It's been a week and I feel like a new woman. I can't tell you how much extra time I have during the day to actually be productive! It's amazing. Of course Facebook is an important tool in my business, but I've decided to discipline myself into only doing business related things on there when I am "working" and then letting myself scroll through and read the days events at the end of the day.

You'd be amazed and how much you can accomplish by simply getting rid of silly little distractions. Like Facebook. Who would have thought?! Now, instead of playing on Facebook, I have time to update my blog which is something I constantly tell myself I want to do. Not because I care if anyone reads it, but because it is something I can share with my kids when they are older. I've tried so many times to keep a journal or a little notebook...I've tried it all and I fail miserably every single time. This is something that is actually manageable for me and I can keep up with. It's a great creative outlet, too! It has allowed me to be more disciplined in my R+F business and my love for design. But very most importantly? It has allowed me to be a better mom. I am not that mom who believes that technology takes away from our families (because if we're being honest, I am more than happy to hand Knox an iPad or an iPhone and let him go to town so I can get some things done) but I HAVE noticed that I'm not saying "hang on just a second, baby" nearly as often as when I was scrolling through my phone and needing to get to where I left off.

Basically, it's just nice to not have the constant distraction of Facebook always right there at my fingertips! So, I'm sorry Facebook. It's not you, it's me. Okay, maybe it's you. But this momma needs a break!

Thank God for grace.

2014-01-27T06:50:00.000-08:00

Isn't that what it all boils down to at the end of the day? As Christians, I feel like we get so bogged down by all of the "church stuff." Essentially, everything goes back to having a relationship with Jesus. That's it. Plain and simple. Why is that so hard for us? For me, I think it's because it seems too easy. There's got to be more to it, right? How could such a big God want NOTHING more from us than a personal relationship? Surely there is more to it. Yes? No.

You're going to have to bear with me, because this may be a scattered post. These are things that we have discussed a lot lately in church, things that have been my constant prayers over the last few months, struggles I've had, and so on.

My eyes have really been opened lately to how, as a Christian culture, we have strayed so far from what Christianity truly means. I think what really hit home for me was all of the controversy over Phil Robertson. Social media has given us this huge platform for sharing anything and everything that pops into our minds. GQ asked an old school, southern Christian man about his beliefs and it blows my mind that people were surprised by his response. I think my very favorite part of the whole thing was the quote that came out after. Whether or not Phil actually said it, I have no idea. But there is more truth in this statement than any I've heard in such a long time.

"Our culture has accepted two huge lies. The first is that if you disagree with someone's lifestyle, you must fear or hate them. The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything the believe or do."

It doesn't get much more simple than that. Love God and love people. No matter what. I had to stop looking at my Facebook feed during the whole Duck Dynasty debacle because I just almost couldn't stand it. But I think what bothered me the very most were the posts that came straight out of the Christian community. Whether or not you agree with a homosexual lifestyle doesn't matter at the end of the day. Yes, I just said that. It. Does. Not. Matter. Do you think that posting your disgust for the gay community and your support for Phil Robertson is going to bring anyone to Christ? Probably not.

We have somehow gotten sucked into this "holier than thou" mentality because we think we know best. Because, I mean, after all, we ARE Christians. No. Just no. I fall short every.single.day. But you know what? Jesus loves me regardless. No less than he did yesterday when maybe my sins weren't quite as bad. (hint: My sins are always equally as bad. Every single day.) I feel like we push people away from Christ with our actions rather than bring them to him. Just because we don't agree with their actions, their lifestyle, their choices, their words...whatever it may be...does not make them any less worthy. Because guess what? WE aren't worthy. Our actions, lifestyle, choices, words are no better than the next person. The difference is that we have a relationship with Jesus and he forgives every single one of our sins every single day. So who are we to decide that someone else isn't worthy of the same forgiveness?

We take the bible and we twist it and turn it to fit whatever makes us feel the best about what we are doing at any given time. Do you know what the bible boils down to? Love God, love people. I am absolutely no bible expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I am slowly but surely figuring that part out. I had planned on sharing more with you on my thoughts about this particular subject, but since this has gotten crazy long, I think I'll save it for another day!

Yesterday at church our pastor said something that really stood out to me. He simply said, "thank God for grace." What a simple statement that means more than we can even fathom. So yes, thank you God for your unending, unwavering, unfailing grace. Over and over again.

My Creative Outlet.

2014-01-25T06:00:00.000-08:00

Most of you probably don't know that I have a little Etsy shop, Free & Found Design Company. I set it up in 2013 mostly as a way to give myself something creative to do. Sometimes I have these random ideas for a cute print or set of note cards. Sometimes a friend asks me to design a birthday invitation for them. I figured, why not share them with other people?! It's a fun little hobby that I've really come to enjoy!

Here are a few of my latest creations.

Personalized Texas Note Cards

Love Notes Note Cards (Set of 4)

I have been obsessed with black and white prints lately, so I created a whole collection of them. I love the simplicity! These are my favs.

Choose Joy. Always.

She Believed. This one hangs next to my desk as a constant reminder to simply believe and work hard.

I'll Eat You Up. Because who doesn't love Where The Wild Things Are?

You can see the rest of the Black+White Collection here. So there you go. Now it's out there for the whole wide world! Have a wonderful weekend, friends!

Merry Christmas and a Snowy New Year

2014-01-24T09:00:00.000-08:00

First and foremost, here are a few pictures from Christmas. Mostly because I just came across them and realized I had never posted them. We had a great Christmas! It was so fun with Knox this year because he really kind of gets the whole Christmas thing now. He, of course, loved opening presents. But what was the very best was listening to him talk about baby Jesus. He would tell us all about how much he loved him and how he lives in his heart. Talk about melt my heart moments!

Knox got a "choo choo train table," a "bicycle" (tricycle) and "mine own John Deere tractor" for Christmas and he is equally obsessed with all three! Clayton surprised me with a new Kindle because mine broke a few months ago. He definitely knows the way to my heart!

It was a great Christmas and we are looking forward to Christmas with two sweet boys this year.

This is possibly my favorite family photo ever. It sums us up perfectly.

Right after Christmas we ventured to Taos, NM with Clayton's family for a little getaway. I won't lie, I was a little concerned about traveling 15 hours in the car at almost six months pregnant. But I survived!

Clayton has been dying to go on a ski trip as long as we've been together and we've just never made it happen. He and his brothers spent a few days skiing and for the most part we all just relaxed, which was a much welcomed break from reality.

Knox had such a great time in the snow (or the "no" as he calls it) and loves to tell everyone about how he went "kiing" like Daddy. (He went tubing, but we just go with it.)

I really enjoyed visiting the actual town of Taos. It is such a quaint little place and the people are all so nice. It may just be because I'm pregnant, but I swear to you the food was exceptionally delicious! I loved all the little art galleries with work from local artists. I got an original print by Allegra Sleep that I am totally obsessed with!

Here are a few pictures from our vacation. Enjoy!

Clayton got all dressed up for the new year.

We had such a great time and it was so nice to get away for a week. Reality definitely hit hard when we got back!

Dreaming of a Remodel.

2014-01-23T10:00:00.000-08:00

Clayton and I have talked a lot lately about moving (houses, not towns). We've talked about a million different options...building, fixer upper, move-in ready, etc etc etc. We have varying opinions on what is the best option. Clayton dreams of a move-in ready house that needs, at most, a coat of paint here and there. I, on the other hand, spend hours upon days dreaming of a house that needs a complete overhaul. It's in my blood. I can't help it. We have yet to come to a conclusion, but here are a few things I'm currently pining over.

First and foremost, I DREAM of having a ginormous playroom. Knox's toys have completely taken over our living room AND his bedroom. I want it to have big giant sliding barn doors so that I can close it off when we have company over. These are a few of my favorites:

via Pinterest (original source unknown.)

via

I want cute bathrooms. Priorities, right? Seriously though, I could spend hours looking at bathrooms on Pinterest. I'm obsessed with pocket doors, and I love the thought of painting them a bright color. I want stripes in one bathroom. I don't know why, but I love the thought of big stripes in a bathroom! A couple of my favorite bathroom ideas:

via

I want a homey, cozy living room that feels inviting and like you can actually sit on the furniture. I'm not really one for formal, well, anything. I love color and comfy furniture and big fireplaces. Some of my favorites:

via

I want a house that I can go into and tear down walls, take out counter tops, redo floors and paint EVERYTHING. I'm sure you're asking yourself why I sound like a crazy person and why we don't just build. I have this crazy need to make old things new again. (Mirror mirror on the wall, I am my mother after all.) I love refurbishing furniture and I get such a thrill out of transforming something old into something new of my own. I have super eclectic taste and I enjoy the challenge of mixing old things with new. I'm sure to most of you I sound like a total nut job. Clayton would agree.

One of my very favorite elements of design is paint. Most people have no idea how much a coat of paint can transform a room. As I'm sure most of you know, my sweet momma has her own line of vintage finish paint (find it here). I love it for painting furniture and I'm obsessed with her color palette (which I'm sure has nothing to do that most of the colors were hand picked by yours truly). I have always gravitated toward cooler wall colors, so these are my current color obsessions:

I guess that's all I've got for today! So now I'll go back to feeding my house remodel Pinterest addiction...

Knox Turns TWO!

2014-01-22T09:46:00.002-08:00

My, oh my. Where has the time gone? Is my precious boy really TWO? I really can't believe it. It seems like yesterday and a lifetime ago that he changed our lives. He is hard headed, stubborn, strong willed and the lovingest boy I've ever met. Reality is starting to sink in that he won't be my "baby" anymore (even though secretly he will ALWAYS be my baby) and that he will be a big brother in just a few short months. EEK! But that's for another day. Today, I can't wait to share his second birthday party with you!

This boy is obsessed with cowboys, tractors, heavy machinery and all things man. One of his very first words was "excavator." (No, I'm not kidding.)We talked for a couple of months about his birthday party and every time I asked him what kind of party he wanted he said very matter of factly, "John Deere tractor party." Unfortunately for my child, he will probably never have your basic good ol' John Deere green birthday party. So we settled for a more vintagey theme with tractors/farm animals.

For his first birthday I went ALL out. I always swore I wouldn't. But, of course, I did. I just couldn't help myself. I promised myself (and Clayton's wallet) that I would reign it in ~~a little bit~~ a lot for his second birthday. Clayton's parents have a barn on their property, so I thought that would be the perfect setting for his party. Pretty much everything was DIY, so I Clayton was pretty thrilled with how little $$ I ended up spending.

I always do his invitations myself, but this year they ended up going out via text and email because, well, let's face it, I just couldn't get my act together with Christmas and his birthday being four days apart.

We had his party all planned out for Saturday December 21st since his actual birthday fell on a Saturday this year. We had talked all about it and he was SO excited. And then the weather decided it didn't care so much about my plans and we were told to prepare for the worst. And it was pretty terrible. Outdoor birthday party+terrible horrible no good very bad weather....well yeah, that just doesn't work out so well. So, like the fly by the seat of your pants parents that we are, we rescheduled for Sunday. It was still chilly, but it worked out for the best. We had snacks, a bonfire, a hayride, quite a few tractor rides and a "watering hole" to keep the adults sane.

So there you have it, the easy peasy details of Knox's second birthday party. He loved every second of it and I loved that it didn't take me six months to plan! And here are a few more pictures of the day for your viewing pleasure!

Baby P Bumpdate.

2013-11-06T08:23:00.000-08:00

Well, I guess it's probably time I start keeping track of this pregnancy so this baby doesn't feel left out. I kept up with my pregnancy with Knox almost weekly. This one, not so much! So here is my first attempt...here at 16 weeks. Oops?

It's so funny: I was not overly anxious when I was pregnant with Knox, but this one has been so much different. I really haven't worried too much about anything. As in, Clayton had to remind me around eight weeks to call and make a doctor's appointment. I know it's not my first rodeo, but it still makes me laugh. We've always joked that if you are less cautious with your second and so on, our second will be near neglected because we never worried about anything with Knox!

This pregnancy has been the complete and total opposite of Knox's. My first pregnancy was SO easy. Almost too easy. I was never sick, had no complications, nothing. Take a 180 degree turn, and that's where we are with this one. I was so so SO sick for the first few weeks. It was absolutely miserable and I now feel sorry for all of you with morning sickness that I silently judged because I really just thought you were being a wuss. Please accept my heartfelt, sincere apology. Seriously. This ain't no joke. My sickness is mostly gone at this point, but making myself eat is a different story. I know I'm not eating enough, but I do my best to strategically pick foods to eat that are going to benefit baby/me the most. You know, like potato chips and ice cream. To say it's been a rough ride so far is an understatement. I really do try not to complain, though. I have a healthy, growing baby and there isn't much more I could ask for.

How far along? 16 weeks today!
Maternity clothes? Ha. I wish. With all the weight I've lost from sickness, they are all still way too big! I actually had to go buy SMALLER pants recently. Craziness.
Sleep: I've had a hard time sleeping ever since I was pregnant with Knox. Even with my exhaustion, I still wake up a lot during the night! I'm still able to sleep on my stomach, so that helps. I imagine as this baby grows and I can't sleep like that anymore, sleep will go out the window!
Missing anything? I would give my right arm for a margarita!
Food Cravings: I will crave things randomly, but there isn't anything I've craved a lot of. I have loved some dill pickles. Oh, and fried chicken. What the heck? I don't even LIKE chicken!
Gender: Hopefully we will find out within the next month!

Movement? I have just started feeling the baby "flutters" this week! Love it!
Mood: I feel like I should just constantly apologize to everyone around me. I don't think I've really been moody, but I just feel useless and out of it all the time because I've felt so bad!
Looking forward to: Finding out what Baby P is so that he/she can have a name!

I know this picture is dark, but it was the best I could do for today! I'm sure if you notice the head poking in at the bottom of the picture you'll understand why!