If you remember the old Disney film, Fantasia, then you will no doubt recall Mickey Mouse as the Sorcerer’s Apprentice and his botched attempt to get all of those mops, brooms and buckets to do his bidding. There is a sequence is this movie that captures the essence of that endeavor with pretty much the same results for our novice apprentice, Dave Stutler (Jay Baruchel). Although unexpected it was none the less quite enjoyable.

This turns out to be a family friendly fantasy / adventure movie that will thrill the entire family. Way back when (740 AD) the great sorcerer, Merlin, has taken on several apprentices. Two of these Morgana le Fay (Alice Krige) and Maxim Horvath(Alfred Molina) turn their powers to the pursuit of evil thus betraying Merlin. A battle ensues between the evil and the good apprentices. The good is represented by Balthazar Blake (Nicolas Cage) and his love, Veronica (Monica Bellucci). When all is said and done, Balthazar has imprisoned Morgana and unfortunately Veronica along with Horvath in the Grimhold which is a prison sort of like a large bowling pin shaped doll. During the battle Merlin is mortally wounded and charges Balthazar with finding a Prime Merlinian who will become his successor.

The balance of the film recounts Balthazar’s thousand year search for the Prime Merlinian. It is in the present time in Manhattan that he meets young David. Balthazar realizes that Dave is the Prime Merlinian but Dave accidentally releases Horvath from on of the layers of the Grimhold. The two sorcerers begin to fight each other and wind up becoming imprisoned together in a large vase with a ten year lock.

Ten years later Dave has matured and is a physics student at NYU. Both Balthazar and Horvath are now out of their prison and searching for Dave and the Grimhold. One wants to keep the evil Morgana imprisoned and the other wants to release her and ultimately destroy humanity. The rest of the movie relates their encounters replete with magical spells, deceptions and, believe it or not, a doozie of a car chase!

The story is interesting and fast paced. The characters were well casted and convincing. Special effects were riveting and thrilling making the movie all the more enjoyable.

Rated  -  PG  -

Fatwayne’s Rating  -    -

Evelyn Salt (Angelina Jolie) plays a CIA agent who is accused of being a KGB sleeper from a Cold War plan to place their people in the US for years just waiting for the perfect time to launch “Day X”.  The Russian spies would have ample time to grow into positions of power after having been planted in America as children.

The plot follows Salt in her efforts to clear her name and foil the plot that will ultimately destroy the United States. There are lots of surprises in store for the audience as Salt’s true identity and intentions unfold. I enjoyed the film but must admit that we are asked to suspend our dis-beliefs just once too often. If anyone could do the things that Salt did in the film, that person would have to be a super being and not merely human.

Ms. Jolie does a fine job of acting and is quite believable as an agent in her action scenes. She runs like an athlete, throws convincing punches and has one heck of a mean kick! The camera seems to love her also with many closeups that give us a chance to admire her beauty. She looks good with her long blond hair that is changed into long black hair that is finally cut into an rather mannish dark style. If you are a Jolie fan you will enjoy her latest outing.

This is an action thriller that delivers lots of action and lots of thrills. It has a good amount of violence but none of it is too graphic. All in all, a good time indeed.

Quotes from Salt
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Fatwayne’s Rating    -     -

Someone must have put a “hex” on poor Jonah judging from the story of his life! This poor man loses his wife and son in a horrible manner while he is forced to watch. He is branded with an iron on his face which he later makes worse by trying to remove the scar with a hot hatchet. He is shot numerous times and is frequently beaten nearly to death. He is also part of the world of the dead since he very nearly crossed over himself. This may not be considered to be a bad thing since he can bring the dead back to life and talk to them but I would just as well not wish to have this “gift.”

Jonah Hex is the story of a post Civil War antihero based on the DC Comics character. This western was filmed in and around the city of New Orleans although you might not be able to recognize it even if you are native to the city. Jonah’s troubles begin when he disobeys his Confederate commanding officer, Quentin Turnbull (John Malkovich) who wants to destroy a hospital and all who are in it. In his effort to avert this tragedy he also kills Turnbull’s son. In retaliation, Turnbull seeks out Jonah and ties him to a cross and forces him to witness his wife and child’s death as he burns their house with them inside. Turnbull then brands Jonah’s face with his initials so that he will always remember him and how he took away everything he loved.

Jonah Hex, half crazy with sorrow and hatred, decides to remove the initials branded on his face. To do this he uses a red hot hatched and manages to make a bad situation much worse. He is on the verge of death when Indians find him and save his life. His near death experience leaves him with more than a hideous scar as he also can communicate with the dead by touching their corpses. Jonah has a presence in both the world of the living and the world of the dead. He uses this technique to get a lead on the whereabouts of Quentin Turnbull.

In the meantime Turnbull is planning to reverse the outcome of the war by stealing a weapon that has been dubbed the “nation killer”.  He plans to use this very destructive device to kill President Grant and a whole bunch of politicians at a Fourth of July celebration. It falls upon Jonah to stop him and thus save the country.

The film features all sorts of modern (for their time) weapons such as a gatling gun that mounts to Jonah’s horse,  dynamite shooting cross bow pistols and, of course, that nation killer. It is a well filmed movie with lovely scenery and a very fast pace. I found it to be somewhat short with a running time of only one hour and twenty minutes.

Despite the fact that the film is not doing too well at the box office and most critics panned it, I found it enjoyable to watch. I will tell you that the PG13 rating had to be at the very edge of that category’s limits due to an abundance of violence.

Rated  – PG13 -

Fatwayne’s Rating   -    -

This was a nice piece of fluff as far as an action/comedy film goes. One thing for sure, it is chock full of plot twists and surprises. We have a contract killer, Spencer Aimes (Ashton Kutcher) who is becoming bored with his work and meets the girl of his dreams, Jennifer Kornfeldt (Katherine Heigl) while on assignment in Nice, France. Jennifer is traveling with her parents played by Tom Selleck and Catherine O’Hara. She has just broken up with her boyfriend and is on this trip to try to forget about him.

She sees Spencer, who is shirtless and on his way to the beach, and falls hard for him. He likewise is attracted to Jennifer and the two agree to meet for a drink. Things go smoothly for them and after a night of drinking he decides to tell her that he is actually a killer for hire. Unfortunately, Jennifer passes out and does not hear Spencer’s confession.

Realizing that Jennifer is the girl of his dreams and this is his chance to lead a normal life, Spencer tells his boss Holbrook (Martin Mull) that he is quitting.  Holbrook reminds him that “you don’t just quit being a contract killer”.

The film takes us three years into the future and we find our young couple married and settled into their new and normal life. At this point things really start to pop! Holbrook gives Spencer an ultimatum to take on another assignment or else. All of a sudden people are coming out to the woodwork trying to kill Spencer. He learns that a $20 million dollar bounty has been placed on his head. The fun comes in when people you would never expect try to collect the bounty by killing Spencer. This is a neat idea and one that pays off in fun for the audience.

The plot twists continue until the very end and we are not disappointed with the film’s ending. There is lots of action and the characters are fun to watch. Not a bad movie at all.

Rated  -  PG 13 -

Fatwayne’s Rating   -    -

By now, everyone should know that “you don’t mess with Mother Nature”! And then there are those folks who just don’t give a darn. Clive Nicoli (Adrien Brody) and Elsa Kast (Sarah Polley) are two brilliant scientists who are working on gene splicing techniques in order to create a new species that will benefit mankind by enabling them to synthesize proteins in order to cure diseases and genetic disorders that afflict humans. A worthy goal but also illegal when Elsa introduces human DNA to the process.

Prior to this, the pair had developed a new creature that looked like a giant slug about the size of a medium dog. This mass of tissue they name Fred and he produces proteins that are beneficial in growing crops. They then decide to create a female version which they name Ginger. All goes well and the two seem to get along smashingly. The decision is made to go public with their creations and so they present them at a stockholders meeting of their funding corporation. All goes well until they lower a plexiglass barrier separating the two “slugs”. All at once they begin to attack one another with  large spike like blades that project from their chest area. Blood splatters everywhere including all over the unlucky stockholders as the two kill each other. It is later discovered that the female has mutated and became a male thus causing their “territorial” disagreement.

With their funding threatened, Clive and Elsa are pressed to make some discoveries that will benefit their corporate backers financially. They are having a difficult time of it until Elsa makes progress using a new genetic sample from a Jane Doe and now, all of a sudden, they are introducing human DNA into the equation to see if they can produce a viable hybrid.

The result is a very strange creature with a featureless torso and large chicken like legs that runs in circles bumping into things. It has a fantastically speedy metabolism and in no time at all it starts to resemble a humanoid child replete with a tail equipped with a stinger much like a sting ray has. As the thing develops, Elsa starts to become attached to it and learns that it is intelligent and so decides to raise it as a human child. She names it Dren (nerd spelled backwards). There is friction between Clive and Elsa as Clive believes they should destroy Dren lest they wind up in deep legal trouble. Elsa will hear none of this and continues to nurture Dren.

Dren is quite cute in her rapid development. But, alas, she starts to exhibit some disturbing tendencies like eating raw meat and attacking people with her lethal tail stinger. The story has several plot twists that emerge from this point forward. This is a cautionary tale that we can all learn from with a story that could be taken right off the front page of any newspaper. I am, of course, talking about DNA research, cloning, etc.

The creature effects are solid and Dren is definitely an oddity. The story moves along at a good pace with adequate character development. The ending is somewhat surprising but manages to be believable and satisfying at the same time. I liked this film and can recommend it to you.

Quotes from Splice
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Fatwayne’s Rating  -    -

 Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time is a fantasy-adventure film adapted from a video game of the same name. I can tell you that it is breathtaking in its scope and beauty and offers the viewer relentless action and adventure. For the ladies there is Jake Gyllenhall (Dastan) to gawk at in all of his muscular splendor. But, in my humble opinion, the men come out on the winning end of this “gawk fest” thanks to British actress Gemma Arterton (Princess Tamina). You may remember her from Quantum of Solace (Strawberry Fields – you just gotta love those James Bond movie names!) and Clash of the Titans (lo). She is a singular natural beauty and the camera does not hesitate to offer us plenty of close ups. Take a peek at http://www.imdb.com/media/rm352092672/tt0473075.

One thing you have to notice is how Dastan is a 6th century Persian with all of the moves of Jackie Chan. There are definitely influences from Chan’s antics that are abundant in this film. Admittedly, it is enjoyable to watch all of these athletic and comic action sequences.

The movie has to do with a poor street urchin who captures the attention of the King Sharaman (Ronald Pickup). His bravery moved the King to adopt him and although he has no royal blood, he also has no aspirations to the throne. Fifteen years later, he and his royal foster brothers are leading the Persian army in an attack on the sacred city of Alamut. They are doing this because they were misled into believing that Alamut was selling weapons to their enemies. This misinformation came from the King’s brother, Nizam (Ben Kingsley) who has a plot of his own to gain the throne.

You see, the Princess of Alamut, Tamina, is the guardian of a mythical dagger that contains the sands of time and will allow its owner to go back in time and change history. This is exactly what Nizam wants to do so that he will be the King. He is not bothered that using the dagger for his purposes could very well doom mankind. Through a series of events, Dastan and Tamina become allies in their quest to return the dagger to it birthplace on a sacred mountain thus protecting it from the contrivances of mankind.

There are many adventures and close calls in store for our two heroes not to mention ostrich races and decidedly weird ninja-like assassins who sport amazingly sophisticated weaponry. Prince Dastan is up to the task and with the help of his friends and Princess Tamina, manages to save the Persian empire as well as mankind. What did you expect? This movie has a very happy ending just like I enjoy!

Quotes from Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
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Fatwayne’s Rating  -  -

If you like the SNL skits from which this movie came you will probably enjoy this offering. It, of course, stars Will Forte as the incorrigible and goofy operative who hates guns and uses his bare hands and common items that are lying around to overcome his enemies. This idea emanated from the 1980s TV show MacGyver which it spoofs.

It starts out with “Mac” meditating and leading a peaceful life ten years after his fiancee Casey (Maya Rudolph) was killed on their wedding day by his ex-friend but now arch enemy, Dieter Von Cunth (Val Kilmer). He is approached by his old friend and superior officer Col. Jim Faith (Powers Booth). Col. Faith realizes that there is only one man in the world who can save the country from nuclear devastation since Cunth has stolen a warhead and plans to obliterate Washington D.C.

MacGruber is at first hesitant to give up his peaceful ways even after Col. Faith reminds him that he is the only man who has achieved the distinction of becoming a Green Beret, Navy Seal and Army Ranger who has been awarded 16 purple hearts, 3 Congressional Medals of Honor and 7 Presidential Medals for bravery! It is not until he is asleep and dreams of that fateful day that Dieter Von Cunth murdered his wife at the altar that he is moved to defend his country once again.

Mac goes about assembling his old team al a Yul Brenner in the ”Magnificent Seven” and once he has them all on board, he is ready to go. Unfortunately for them, he leaves them in his van along with some homemade explosives that he has concocted. As he is talking to Col. Faith the van blows up killing his entire team. Now he is forced to search for new members in order to go after Dieter. He winds up with Vicki St. Elmo (Kristen Wiig) who was actually a member of his old team but had been reluctant to give up her singing career. He also recruits Lt. Dixon Piper (Ryan Phillippe) after his initial dislike for him.

Please don’t be led to believe that this is your typical action/adventure movie because it definitely is not. It has goofiness and comedy written all over it. MacGruber along with his mullet haircut goes from fearless to whining to pathetic to inept in virtually every scene. He will do anything to achieve his goal of eliminating the evil Dieter Von Cunth. The problem is that he is “MacGruber” and nothing seems to work out right for him. He never has a plan and that is probably just as well since it would probably just be a waste of his time.

Was it a good spoof? For the most part I would say ‘yes’ it is. It is not “blow you away” funny but it does have its moments. There is a scene where MacGruber decides to distract the gunmen who are shooting at him and Lt. Piper. He does indeed distract them by walking out completely nude with a stalk of celery sticking out of his butt! Oh, my!

Quotes from MacGruber

Fatwayne’s Rating   -    -

These are some of my favorites from movies whose titles start with “S”

- (responding to Sherlock Holmes after he told him the he is wanted by Inspector Lestrade at headquarters) “It’s Lord Blackwood, Sir. He, uh, well, it appears he’s come back from the grave, Sir.”
- Police Officer, Sherlock Holmes 

- (Sir Thomas asks Holmes to name his price to find Lord Blackwood for him) “One of the great benefits of being a consultant is that I can pick and choose my clients. Consider it done, I’ll stop him. But not for you and certainly not for a price. ”
- Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes

- (after being discovered handcuffed to his bed and naked except for a pillow over his privates he tells the cleaning lady …) “Madam, I need you to remain calm. Trust me, I’m a professional and beneath this pillow lies the key to my release.”
- Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes

- (she is a mental patient who is told by Marshal Daniels that she seems quite normal in comparison to the other patients) “Well I have my dark days, I suppose everybody does. The difference is that most people don’t kill their husbands with an axe.”
- Bridget Kearns, Shutter Island

- (talking with Teddy Daniels) “I wish I could just let you live in your fantasy world, I really do. You are violent, trained, dangerous. You are the most dangerous patient we have.”
- Dr. John Cawley, Shutter Island

- (telling his partner, Chuck Aule, his suspicions) “They’re experimenting on people here. That’s the beauty of it, isn’t it? Crazy people are perfect subjects, they talk and nobody listens.”
- Teddy Daniels, Shutter Island

- (talking to his partner at the movie’s end) “This place makes me wonder. Which would be better, to live as a monster or die a good man?”
- Teddy Daniels, Shutter Island

- (Hannibal: ‘Why do you think he removes their skins?’) “It excites him. Most serial killers keep some sort of trophies from their victims. (‘I didn’t.’) No. No, you ate yours.”
- Clarice Starling, Silence of the Lambs

- (Murray: ‘Is it true what they’re sayin’, he’s some kinda vampire?’) “They don’t have a name for what he is.”
- Clarice Starling, Silence of the Lambs

- “A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.”
- Hannibal Lecter, Silence of the Lambs

- (on telephone) “I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner. Bye.”
- Hannibal Lecter, Silence of the Lambs

- “Believe me, you don’t want Hannibal Lecter inside your head.”
- Jack Crawford, Silence of the Lambs

- “Well, thank you, Mr. Bandit. And as the pursuer, may I say you’re the goddamnedest pursuee I’ve ever pursued. Now that the mutual bullshit is over, WHERE ARE YOU, YOU SOMBITCH?”
- Buford T. Justice, Smokey and the Bandit

- “Oh I love your suits. It must have been a bitch to get a 68 Extra Fat and a 12 Dwarf.”
- Bandit Darville, Smokey and the Bandit

- (Cledus Snow: “You can’t drive a fork lift.”) “I can drive any forkin’ thing around.”  Bandit Darville, Smokey and the Bandit

- (Junior: “My hat blew off, Daddy.”) “I hope your goddamn head was in it.” 
- Buford T. Justice, Smokey and the Bandit

- “Nobody, and I mean NOBODY makes Sheriff Buford T. Justice look like a possum’s pecker. (Junior: “Except for that-”) Shut your ass.”
- Buford T. Justice, Smokey and the Bandit

- (Sheriff Branford: “The fact that you are a sheriff is not germane to the situation.”) “The goddamn Germans got nothin’ to do with it.”
- Buford T. Justice, Smokey and the Bandit

- (revealing to his girlfriend, Cassidy, that he is the killer) “Thats great! Now let’s go kill Ellie and then we’re off to my folk’s summer house for some well deserved R&R! Come on, we’ll both do Ellie. You’re always saying that we should do more stuff together.”
- Andy James, Sorority Row

- (telling Jessica Pierson what she likes about her) “I love you Jessica because you make being a bitch an art form.”
Cassidy Tapan, Sorority Row

- (hunting the killer with her shotgun) “Please don’t think I’m afraid of you. I run a house with fifty crazy bitches.”
- Mrs. Crenshaw (house mother), Sorority Row

- “Prepare ship for ludicrous speed! Fasten all seatbelts, seal all entrances and exits, close all shops in the mall, cancel the three ring circus, secure all animals in the zoo!”
- Colonel Sandurz, Spaceballs

- “Careful, you idiot! I said across her nose, not up it! (Laser Gunner: ‘Sorry sir! I’m doing my best!’) Who made that man a gunner? (Major Asshole: ‘I did sir. He’s my cousin.’) Who is he? (Colonel Sandurz: ‘He’s an asshole, sir.’) I know that! What’s his name? (Colonel Sandurz: ‘That is his name sir. Asshole, Major Asshole!’) And his cousin? (Colonel Sandurz: ‘He’s an asshole too, sir. Gunner’s mate First Class Philip Asshole!’) How many assholes do we have on this ship, anyway? [entire bridge crew stands up and raises a hand] I knew it. I’m surrounded by assholes!”
- Dark Helmet, Spaceballs

- “Before you die there is something you should know about us, Lone Star. (Lone Starr: ‘What?’) I am your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate. (Lone Starr: ‘What’s that make us?’) Absolutely nothing! Which is what you are about to become.”
- Dark Helmet, Spaceballs

- (Colonel Sandurz: ‘Prepare ship for light speed.’) “No, no, no, light speed is too slow. (Colonel Sandurz: ‘Light speed, too slow?’) Yes, we’re gonna have to go right to ludicrous speed.”
- Dark Helmet, Spaceballs

- (Princess Vespa: ‘I am Princess Vespa, daughter of Roland, King of the Druids.’) “Oh great. That’s all we needed. A Druish princess.”
- Lone Starr, Spaceballs

-”Use the Schwartz, Lone Starr! Use the Schwartz! (Lone Starr: ‘I can’t — I lost the ring!’) Forget the ring! The ring is bubkis! I found it in a Cracker Jack box! ”
- Yogurt, Spaceballs

- (voiceover at end of movie) “Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise. Their ongoing mission – to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life forms and new civilizations. To boldly go where no one has gone before.”
- Voice of Leonard Nimoy, Star Trek – 2009

- (responding to Spock’s scenario) “Dammit man, I’m a doctor – not a physicist!”
- Dr. Leonard ‘Bones’ McCoy, Star Trek – 2009

- (angry with Spock) “Permission to speak freely, Sir. (Spock, “I welcome it.”) Okay then, are you out of your Vulcan mind?”
- Dr. Leonard ‘Bones’ McCoy, Star Trek – 2009

- (to a cadet who wants to fight and tells Kirk there are four of them and only one of you.) “Well, get two more guys and it will be a fair fight.”
- James T. Kirk, Star Trek – 2009

- “Bullshit! Who do you think I am, Bambi’s baby brother? ”
- Det. Donald Bell, State of Play

- “Do you have any idea what he’s threatening here? This is 30 or 40 billion dollars annually. That’s wrath of God money! ”
- PointCorp Insider, State of Play

- (to Cal) “You are going to be out of a job before the Devil can even say your name — SON! ”
- Rep. George Fergus, State of Play

- “This guy walks through raindrops. Anybody who is against him is either dea-d or on their way.”
- Charlie Nash, Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li 

- “When you fight on the side of monsters, eventually you become one yourself.”
- Gen, Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li

- (to Chun-Li) “Where you go, trouble certainly does follow.”
- Gen, Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li

- (responding to VSI lawyer who tells him she is not a doctor) “Honey, I don’t know what you are. For all I know you could be some big fat dude sitting in a stem chair with his dick han(justifying his decision to terminate all surrogates) “Surragacy is a perversion, it’s an addiction. You have to kill the addict to kill the addiction.”
- Dr. Lionel Canter, Surrogates

- (reviewing the benefits of the surrogate success story) “The ability to leave your home without risk of disease or injury, to have perfect looks without trips to the gym or plastic surgery. There is no question that at some point they will be persons like anyone else. They will not be human but that they will be part of our community, there is no question in my mind.”
- Newscaster’s voiceover, Surrogates

- (preaching to the people who use surrogates) “Unplug from your chairs, sit up and look into a mirror. What you see is how God made you. We’re not meant to experience the world through a machine.”
- The Prophet, Surrogates

- (speaking at Miles Strickland’s funeral) “Death came to Miles Strickland as death comes to all men. But for Miles it is not an ending, it is a new beginning. When you sacrifice your own personal desires for a greater cause, a greater good, you never die, you never disappear. That is what it means to be human.”
- The Prophet, Surrogates

These are some of my favorite quotes from movies whose titles start with the letter ‘P – R’ Enjoy!

-(relating the single most costly space disaster caused by a psychosis called Pandorum to Gallo (Cam Gigandet)) “Pandorum drove the Captain insane, he thought the flight was cursed. He evacuated the ship. He launched them all into oblivion. 5,000 people sent to their death with one push of a button.”Pandorum

- (telling Cpl. Bower about the mutant creatures) “They are fast and they are stronger than you know. You run and you don’t look back.”
Shepard (Norman Reedus), Pandorum

- (to Paul) “I’m not going to sugar coat it. Let’s face it son, you present a huge target.”
Chef Brooks, Paul Blart: Mall Cop 

- “The mind is the only weapon that doesn’t need a holster.”
Paul Blart, Paul Blart: Mall Cop

- (Percy and his friends ask him to take them across the river into Hades) “Who are you? The living are not permitted here, die and come back.”
Charon, ferryman of the River Styx, Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

- (helping Percy prepare for his trip to Hades, Percy thanks him and Luke ask him to promise him one thing) “If you see my dad on the highway to hell, kick his ass for me. ”
Luke Castellan, son of Hermes, Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

- (after Hades yells at her and threatens her) “What will you do? I’m already in hell.”
Persephone, wife of Hades, Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

- (after Percy sees him in his true form as a centaur) “In my world, I am known as Chiron…. a real horses ass. I apologize for hiding my true form but I needed to keep an eye on you. I hope that you will forgive me.”
Mr. Brunner (Chiron), Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

- (meeting his godson, Carl, on the boat Radio Rock) “Aha, Carl, my favorite godson! Have we met before? There was a lost decade so I always have to check.”
Quentin (Bill Nighy), Pirate Radio

- (talking about shutting down Pirate Radio to his assistant) “You see, that’s the whole point of being the government. If you don’t like something you simply make up a new law that makes it illegal. Thinking of which, I think we might have to start working on new legislation to outlaw that haircut of yours. No one likes it apart from blind people and I am sure that even they can sense its profound ugliness as it passes by.”
Minister Dormandy, Pirate Radio

- (telling a joke) “While I was swimming I came upon a squirrel who was doing the backstroke. I said, ‘Mr. Squirrel, why are you swimming on your back?’ ‘Well, I swim on my back to keep my nuts dry.’”
one of the DJs, Pirate Radio

- (learning from his assistant that he has a way to put Radio Rock off the air) “Well done, Twatt! We have their testacles in our hands and it feels good!”
Minister Dormandy, Pirate Radio

- (proposing a toast to Carl’s mother at dinner) “Let’s raise a glass to Carl’s mother, wonderful Charlotte. It was a shag well shagged the night you made this litter (pointing to Carl).”
Dr.Dave the DJ, Pirate Radio

- (talking to his jailer who says he knows him) “My friends call me John but a son of a bitch screw like you better refer to me as Mr. John Dillinger.”
John Dillinger, Public Enemies

- (trying to win over Billie Frechette who tells him she hasn’t been anyplace) “Some of the places I’ve been weren’t so hot. Where I’m going is a whole lot better. Want to come along?”
John Dillinger, Public Enemies

- (in jail being told that they are going to move him to Indiana) “There is absolutely nothing I want to do in Indiana.”
John Dillinger, Public Enemies

- (dying colleague: ‘See you in Hell.’) “If I see you anywhere near Hell, I’ll kick you out!”
Frank Castle, Punisher

- (priest: ‘God be with you, Frank.’) “Sometimes I’d like to get my hands on God.”
Frank Castle, Punisher

- “There are special people in the world. We don’t ask to be special, we’re just born that way.”
Cassie Holmes, Push

- (to Cassie) “Lose a bout with your hairdresser?”
Nick Grant, Push

- (to Seth & Sara) “You really know how to fly that thing? (Seth: ‘How do you think we got here?’) Well, you crashed, remember?”
Jack Bruno, Race to Witch Mountain

- (Sara: ‘What does an alien look like Jack Bruno?’) “You know what aliens look like. They look like little green people with antennas and laser guns…’Take me to your leader, Earthlings.’”
Jack Bruno, Race to Witch Mountain

- (when asked, ‘Did you ever repo anyone you know?’) “I had to do my grandaddy. What you laughing about? You try to explain that to your grandmother.”
Jake Freivald, Repo Men

- (explaining the importance of his job to Remy) “Now what do you think keeps a world like this ones’ sh*t together. It’s not magic. It’s not. It’s rules. It’s people abiding by the terms of the deals they sign themselves. It’s rules. You know what is more important that the rules though? It’s the enforcement of those rules.
Jake Freivald, Repo Men

I believe that this is the eighth incarnation of Robin Hood starting with the 1938 film starring Errol Flynn and including an animated version or two. One thing that marks this film is that it is the story of how Robin Hood (Russell Crowe) got to be the legendary figure he became. We meet Robin Longstride performing his duties as an archer in the Third Crusade (12th century England). After his King, Richard the Lionheart (Danny Houston) is killed in battle while besieging a castle in France, Robin tires of war and longs to return to England. His three friends Alan A’Dale, Will Scarlett and Little John decide to join him after spending ten years at war and away from their homes.

Along their journey they come across the scene of an ambush of the King’s guard by a duplicitous knight, Sir Godfrey (Mark Strong) who has ties with the King of France and was ordered to assassinate the English King. Sir Godfrey learns that Richard has already died and is chased off by Robin Longstride and his men. Robin meets a dying knight, Sir Robert Loxley, and promises to return a cherished sword to his ailing father in Nottingham. Robin and his cohorts take the dead knights’ armor and possessions and pose as knights themselves in order to secure passage to England.

Once in England, Robin, under the guise of Loxley, informs the Royal family of the death of Richard the Lionheart and is witness to the crowning of King John who is the cruel and arrogant successor to the Crown. One of King John’s (Oscar Isaac) first decrees is to have his henchman, Sir Godfrey, go about his already poor country collecting harsh taxes in order to raise much needed revenue. King John does not realize that Sir Godfrey is in league with the french King and uses his new found authority to create unrest throughout the country side in the hope of causing civil war in England thus making the French invasion much easier.

Meanwhile, Robin and his troop go to Nottingham to make good on Robin’s promise to return the sword to Sir Walter Loxley (Max von Sydow). The aging Sir Walter convinces Robin to continue impersonating his son to insure that his lands would not be taken by the Crown upon his death. Now where would our story be without Maid Marion? Lady Marion (Cate Blanchett) doesn’t trust Robin at first but as time goes by and she witnesses what he does for Sir Walter she starts to warm up to him. All this time they are man and wife only to the public who still think that Robin is Sir Robert who has returned home after the Crusade.

As the film progresses, Godfrey is successful in stirring up unrest throughout the country. The powerful Barons want to march against King John. Robin steps in to unite the country against the French threat. The English defeat the French and Robin kills Sir Godfrey with a well placed arrow to the neck. King John sees Robin as a threat and has him  declared an outlaw to by killed on sight. The King also reneges on his promise to the Barons to sign a document granting them rights. All in all, King John reveals himself to be the despicable man he has become. Robin is forced to take shelter in Sherwood Forest with Lady Marion and his friends and is destined to become the hero that we all love.

The scenery is beautiful and the acting is convincing. The story is fast paced and action filled. Russell Crowe makes a very good Robin Hood and the movie in general is enhanced through the acting skills of Cate Blanchett, Mark Strong, William Hurt and Max von Sydow. I hope that you decide to see it because I know that I, for one, certainly did enjoy it!

Quotes from Robin Hood

Fatwayne’s Rating   -      -