••• atenean101 @ Blogspot

Because My Mind's Still Not Fixed

noreply@blogger.com (atenean101) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 12:13:00 +0000

As I begin composing this note, please be informed that I am not at my best. The complexity of this atmosphere surrounding me is giving me reasons to be out of focus but this shan't be a reason to not finish this post. Not at this point where the need to reach out to all of you is not only a must but more than that.

Been sitting here for hours already yet my mind still not fixed. Wondering, thinking of how to word my entry this time in a wish not to sound pathetic or worst, disappoint anybody. But I bet it would be better if I just dive in head first and then speak up my mind and just say what I need to say hoping that everybody will take into consideration that everything's pointed here with nothing but the best of intentions.

Hiatus. This best describes what I have been for almost a month already. But for sure it's not just because of some silly and pathetic reasons. And the same as before, reasons for this hiatus are aplenty but I shan't disclose any here.

Since after a week of hiatus, I've been overwhelmed receiving emails, comments and private messages asking where I've been and of why there's no new post for them to read. To quote one buddy's comment,

"For some very, very weird reason, I can't see an update of your entries in my blogger dashboard. Very bad. Tsk."

And to this buddy, I am sending my apologies. For sure, my absence is never an intention to disappoint anyone. I thank all for being so supportive and concern enough, I really do appreciate the fact that despite of my hiatus you continue to visit and check my blog. This alone gives me the reason to be more grateful of this life. And this alone is already an achievement, a fulfillment of one of my purpose.

Repost: Please Hear What I Am Not Saying

noreply@blogger.com (atenean101) — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 17:39:00 +0000

My sincere thanks to Charles C. Finn for his poem entitled "PLEASE HEAR WHAT I AM NOT SAYING". This had brought me too many realizations, realizations which I consider fundamental in my growth as a person and as a wholistic being created by God to submit to His will.

And to the one who introduced me to this wonderful poem which eventually became the bridge for I and Charles Finn to meet, I shall be forever grateful. You just don't know how you have changed me.

Please Hear What I'm Not Saying

Don't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear
for I wear a mask, a thousand masks,
masks that I'm afraid to take off,
and none of them is me.

Pretending is an art that's second nature with me,
but don't be fooled,
for God's sake don't be fooled.
I give you the impression that I'm secure,
that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well
as without,
that confidence is my name and coolness my game,
that the water's calm and I'm in command
and that I need no one,
but don't believe me.
My surface may seem smooth but my surface is my mask,
ever-varying and ever-concealing.
Beneath lies no complacence.
Beneath lies confusion, and fear, and aloneness.
But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weakness exposed.
That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,
a nonchalant sophisticated facade,
to help me pretend,
to shield me from the glance that knows.

But such a glance is precisely my salvation, my only hope,
and I know it.
That is, if it's followed by acceptance,
if it's followed by love.
It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself,
from my own self-built prison walls,
from the barriers I so painstakingly erect.
It's the only thing that will assure me
of what I can't assure myself,
that I'm really worth something.
But I don't tell you this. I don't dare to, I'm afraid to.
I'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance,
will not be followed by love.
I'm afraid you'll think less of me,
that you'll laugh, and your laugh would kill me.
I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing
and that you will see this and reject me.

So I play my game, my desperate pretending game,
with a facade of assurance without
and a trembling child within.
So begins the glittering but empty parade of masks,
and my life becomes a front.
I idly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk.
I tell you everything that's really nothing,
and nothing of what's everything,
of what's crying within me.
So when I'm going through my routine
do not be fooled by what I'm saying.
Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying,
what I'd like to be able to say,
what for survival I need to say,
but what I can't say.

I don't like hiding.
I don't like playing superficial phony games.
I want to stop playing them.
I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me
but you've got to help me.
You've got to hold out your hand
even when that's the last thing I seem to want.
Only you can wipe away from my eyes
the blank stare of the breathing dead.
Only you can call me into aliveness.
Each time you're kind, and gentle, and encouraging,
each time you try to understand because you really care,
my heart begins to grow wings--
very small wings,
very feeble wings,
but wings!

With your power to touch me into feeling
you can breathe life into me.
I want you to know that.
I want you to know how important you are to me,
how you can be a creator--an honest-to-God creator--
of the person that is me
if you choose to.
You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble,
you alone can remove my mask,
you alone can release me from my shadow-world of panic,
from my lonely prison,
if you choose to.
Please choose to.

Do not pass me by.
It will not be easy for you.
A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.
The nearer you approach to me
the blinder I may strike back.
It's irrational, but despite what the books say about man
often I am irrational.
I fight against the very thing I cry out for.
But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls
and in this lies my hope.
Please try to beat down those walls
with firm hands but with gentle hands
for a child is very sensitive.

Who am I, you may wonder?
I am someone you know very well.
For I am every man you meet
and I am every woman you meet.

Charles C. Finn
September 1966

A Question of Existence

noreply@blogger.com (atenean101) — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 22:02:00 +0000

It has been 8 months already yet nothing has changed. Despite of all the efforts, still everything's the same - nothing has changed... Wondering what could have been the problem with the letters "B, D & T" or "B, C & T". Is it because of the letter "B"?

"Left behind", "Forgotten", "Ignored", these words best describe what we always feel we are. But mind you, we're not supposed to feel this way 'coz we're definitely not incompetent, unproductive, intellectually-challenged and inexperienced... I could even say that we're more qualified than those other people around. Our team's line-up is just above average! You read that right - "ABOVE AVERAGE" - quote and quoted! Bragging? We're not! Just letting them know that we certainly deserve the best attention we deserve.

... One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight and still counting. Still counting how many months more to go. Still counting how many more months are we going to endure before they will notice our existence. But maybe they did notice us only that they didn't give us that damn importance that for sure we really need especially at this point that we're almost doubtful of our working environment especially in terms of management - that despite of all the efforts for us to be noticed, still we feel being ignored.

It is no good to compare things especially if those things are incomparable, that's for sure. For all I know it's not healthy to always be comparing as we - everyone or rather everything - are unique. Comparing does not help anyone of us grow but deceives us from our love of ourselves. It rather traps us from reasons of not growing healthy as individual and as employees.

Yesterday signaled the right time. We never grow because they're not letting us grow. Yesterday provided me enough reasons to act and write this stuff. Yesterday gave me the courage to challenge them to prove me wrong. If I will not do this now, will forever await? If I will not act right now, who will?

Whenever I read or hear the phrase "TAKING YOU FORWARD", there's a part of me who wanted to laugh. There's a part of me who disbelieve. There's a part of me who is doubting. There's a part of me who wanted to be heard. There's a part of me who would rather prefer not to encounter the phrase again. The words or rather the phrase is certainly not adequate.

No matter how we try to be noticed we are still unnoticed. In accounting, we are like doubtful account rather than intangible assets. Our team's existence as a whole is becoming more and more doubtful to me as time flies. It becomes more of a question - Do we really exist? This may be just a silly question but for sure this need not be just taken for granted. But we may be existing only that they forget that we do... or maybe, they chose to just ignore our existence... or maybe, they never would have wanted us to be ignored only that it's exactly what they always let us feel.

... Day by day, I am annoyed by this issue. An issue that needs to be taken an action as soon as possible.

Living Life As It Is

noreply@blogger.com (atenean101) — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 23:26:00 +0000

“Only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go, only as deep as I look can I see, only as much as I dream can I be.” - Karen Ravn

Little by little, I am learning several truths of my being...

... Being used to life's emptiness does not mean I no longer seek to fill it. No! Not at all. It is exactly because I no longer feel that emptiness that I got more aggressive looking for fulfillment. For no longer will I waste time crying over the pain of my wound, but will now pour all my energies to work for what I truly want to have.

Time after time, I am beginning to accept life’s purpose...

... Accepting my fate does not mean giving up my aspirations. In fact, living with my reality gave me enough reasons to dream more. For only through knowing what is can one then hope for what can be.

Step by step, I continue to grow...

... Being contented with how my life is does not mean I want my life to remain as it is. It is indeed pointless to think that way because it is a fact that life changes whether one likes it or not. Time comes and goes, and so will one's family, one's friends, one's beauty, and one's soul. Losing hurts - that’s for sure, but it will surely heal in time. If one can't do anything to bear it, life will.

Day after day, I continue to live life...

... Having no clear purpose does not mean I have not fulfill one. Everyone does. No one is too special to live in this world for free. And even if there is, nothing is free.

Being happy just by simply loving someone does not mean I do not expect something in return. I only ask for one thing - Joy. For only if I can love will I deserve joy. So I will continue striving to love until I cannot love no more. For only then will my life be worthless.

PBA: Visayas Bloggers Are You Ready?

noreply@blogger.com (atenean101) — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 18:16:00 +0000

"To live and let live, without clamour for distinction or recognition; . . . to write truth first on the tablet of one's own heart -- this is the sanity and perfection of living, and my human ideal.” - Mary Baker Eddy

It is time again to recognize Filipino talents. It is time again to acknowledge finest Filipino bloggers who have contributed their blogging skills and talents to serve the very purpose of their existence in the blogosphere.

Showcasing the talents of various Filipinos in the world of blogging this year, the Philippine Blog Awards 2009 dubbed as “One Blogging Nation” is now ready to recognize great Filipino bloggers who are worth of recognition. The excitement this year is far different compared to the previous years as PBA now added more special awards to fully recognize bloggers of the nation as whole. Also, it will now be held in the country's main lands; Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao.

This coming 18th of October at Ayala City Sports - Cebu Business Park, Visayas finest bloggers will gather together to recognize fellow visayan bloggers who have made valuable contribution and have their names marked on the Philippine blogosphere. On this date, we shall recognize the Best Visayan Blog, Visayas Bloggers Choice, Best Visayas Locale Blog, and Best Visayas Nature Blogger.

So to all Visayas bloggers out there, are you ready? If you are, then why not pre-register now to reserve a seat. Pre-registration for Visayas is now open. Simply fill out the form HERE and presto, you are done. Also, please visit the official Philippine Blog Awards Page for further details or any updates.

The Philippine Blog Awards is a yearly event that aims to give recognition to outstandings blogs in but not limited to the Filipino Blogging Community. The Philippine Blog Awards is organized by the Philippine Blogger Awards Inc. a non-stock and non-profit corporation.

Best Visayan Blog
This award goes to the blogger whose blog showcases his talent in blogging in any of the Visayan Languages.

Visayas Bloggers Choice
The Visayas is now a growing community of Bloggers from Cebu, Bohol, Iloilo and more. There are a good number of impressive blogs but some stands out above the others. This awards goes to the blogger whose blog is the talk of the town—the influential blog, the inspirational blog and the example. This award will recognize the blogger who is well respected in the Blogging communities in Visayas.

Best Visayas Locale Blog
As we have different travel blogs showcasing the different beautiful places a travel blogger goes to, this next award focuses on a Visayan blog which will promote one’s hometown or city here in Visayas. This award goes to the best blog which talks about a certain blogger’s hometown or city.

Best Visayas Nature Blogger
When one comes to Visayas he/she may have the different choices of experiencing the Life of nature. We cannot deny the white sand beaches, the rare virgin forests filled with exotic wild life and the beautiful waterfalls that are located in this region. We recognize the blogger who best presents these best things in life found in Nature.

Because We Are Filipinos & We Are One Nation

noreply@blogger.com (atenean101) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 22:03:00 +0000

Calamity is the perfect glass wherein we truly see and know ourselves.

Last Saturday, the 26th of September, Philippines experienced Typhoon Ondoy's onslaught that brought the whole country in shock, fear and tears.

Ondoy brought along a month's worth of rainfall to the country's capital - Metro Manila and nearby areas - in just a few hours, causing intense flooding which has resulted in the loss of many lives and the displacement of hundreds of thousands of people including their wealth or anything that is of any value to them.

As of this writing, several relief organizations are continuously accepting donations so that more help can be provided where it is needed. As Filipinos, wherever we may be, let us not forget the we are one bond and just one nation. Let us all extend help and pray for the immediate recovery of those who are victims of such unwanted occurrence.

The author of this site is encouraging everyone of us to extend help for the victims. Any help of any value would do. As the saying goes "we can help in our own little ways", so please don't just read this, please help...

Fellow Cebuanos, it's indeed a good news that we may now extend help through the following drop-off points in Cebu where your donations for Ondoy victims will be accepted and surely be sent to those who need it. You can also use your Paypal money by sending it thru DTC, Dynamic Teen Company. Here's the link: http://dynamicteencompany.org/partner-with-us/. You can just click on Donate. (DROP OFF POINTS ARE UPDATED FROM TIME TO TIME)

1. Cebu musicians & Outpost Restobar will help Ondoy victims! We’ll need you to bring your goods, clothing food etc. Joseph Castillo, hubby of musician Lia Luisa A. Castillo will send a 20ft Container to MLA 4 esp Cainta & Marikina. Details to follow. Drop in some love while you listen to some music. Get in touch with him through 09082368999 or 09322117111.

(Ondoy-Live-Aid at the Outpost, 7pm on Wednesday September 30. Bring your donations. Let’s fill up Joseph Castillo’s container!)

2. Donations drop off at Banilad Church of Christ (bldg in front of Bright Academy near Sto. Nino Village), Mon-Fri 9am-5pm.

3. SUNBURST FRIED CHICKEN-TABUNOK BRANCH accepting donations from 10am to 9:30pm. Tabang Para sa mga Biktima ni Ondoy…Istorya.net asks you to donate to the victims of Storm Ondoy. Our brothers and sisters in Luzon need our help.

4. Aunt Genie’s Breadhouse: 1279 Talamban, Cebu City (In front of the Talamban Sports Complex). call at 416-0495 if you need directions to the drop-off area. (Accepting: Canned Goods, Old Clothes, Blankets, Diapers for babies, Noodles, Rice, Medicine, Soap, Toothpaste, Water Container, Iodized Salt)

5. Bizroute Solutions (Mon – Sat 11PM to 4PM) Unit 302 Keppel Bldg. Ayala. call at 416-0495 if you need directions to the drop-off area. (Accepting: Canned Goods, Old Clothes, Blankets, Diapers for babies, Noodles, Rice, Medicine, Soap, Toothpaste, Water Container, Iodized Salt)

6. Bizroute Solutions Lahug Office (Mon – Sat 11PM to 2PM) Unit 201 MIT Bldg. Gorordo Ave., Lahug (near JY Square). call at 416-0495 if you need directions to the drop-off area. (Accepting: Canned Goods, Old Clothes, Blankets, Diapers for babies, Noodles, Rice, Medicine, Soap, Toothpaste, Water Container, Iodized Salt)

7. Cue Cafe Crossroads accepting donations in cash or kind as part of JCI Zugbuana relief ops. Accepting clothes,blankets,towels,underwear,footwear,food and water for our suffering brothers and sisters in manila.

8. Citigym accepting donations in cash or kind as part of JCI Zugbuana relief ops. Accepting clothes,blankets,towels,underwear,footwear,food and water for our suffering brothers and sisters in manila.

9. Y101 station accepting donations in cash or kind as part of JCI Zugbuana relief ops. Accepting clothes,blankets,towels,underwear,footwear,food and water for our suffering brothers and sisters in manila.

10. CEBU WORLD VISION SPONSORS and VOLUNTEERS can help. Cash donations to BPI: 4251-0024-15 or BDO: 2700-4341-1

11. Holiday Gym & Spa Banilad Cebu set up a relief operations Drop-Off center beginning today 1:00 PM, Sunday, September 27. Please bring blankets, clothes and canned goods to the front desk/ reception area.

12. ABS-CBN CEBU is now accepting relief goods… adto lang mo sa ABS mga cebuanos…

13. Victory Cebu is a part of the Typhoon Ondoy Relief Operations, send your donations of goods to Victory Cebu center and they will consolidate sending of it to Metro Manila. They’re located at 3/F Dacay Building, 72 Escario St., Cebu City.

14. Very Mary (shop of designer Mary Melody Ty) is accepting goods. 2nd Floor, Myra’s Pensoionne, Escario Street. Beside Golden Peak Hotel.

15. Julie’s Bakeshops used as drop-off centers for PLAN ONDOY, mobilized by Rotary Clubs in Cebu. (For further verification. If you have more information on this, pls message me or leave a comment.)

16. Andorra Tiles Office used as drop-off centers for PLAN ONDOY, mobilized by Rotary Clubs in Cebu. (For further verification. If you have more information on this, pls message me or leave a comment.)

17. WADE SM located at the 2nd floor of the Northwing will serve as a drop off point until Wednesday 5pm. Goods will be forwarded to Outpost afterwards.

18. Orange Brutus P. Del (across USC Main) will accept donations starting Monday from 2pm-8pm. Tuesday to Thursday 10am-8pm.

19. Orange Brutus – Cebu Doctor’s Hospital will accept donations starting Monday from 2pm-8pm. Tuesday to Thursday 10am-8pm.

20. Orange Brutus – Centro Mandaue (near Mandaue City Hall) will accept donations starting Monday from 2pm-8pm. Tuesday to Thursday 10am-8pm.

21. Orange Brutus – Maguikay Mandaue (near Mandaue Flyover) will accept donations starting Monday from 2pm-8pm. Tuesday to Thursday 10am-8pm.

22. Orange Brutus Mactan (Marina Mall Mepz1) will accept donations starting Monday from 2pm-8pm. Tuesday to Thursday 10am-8pm.

23. Orange Brutus Southagte Plaza Mepz 2 will accept donations starting Monday from 2pm-8pm. Tuesday to Thursday 10am-8pm.

24. Orange Brutus Ayala will accept donations starting Monday from 2pm-8pm. Tuesday to Thursday 10am-8pm.

25. Orange Brutus SM will accept donations starting Monday from 2pm-8pm. Tuesday to Thursday 10am-8pm.

26. Orange Brutus Colon (near University of Visayas) will accept donations starting Monday from 2pm-8pm. Tuesday to Thursday 10am-8pm.

27. Orange Brutus Fuente branch will be accepting donations 24 hours from Monday to Thursday.

28. CEBUANOS – civilians, organizations, companies who want to HELP the Typhoon Ondoy victims – you can course your donations FOR FREE through 2GO at any of their branches! Your donations will be sent to the Department of Social Welfare and Development (……DSWD) in Manila. If you wish to coordinate or to ask for pick-ups, please contact MIA BONTOL at 0917 6312736. Please send what you can!

29. Sun.Star offices (P. Del Rosario St., Fuente, Osmena, Candelaria Arcade-Ibabao, Mandaue City)

30. DSWD office in MJ Cuenco Ave.

31. Aboitiz Group of Companies office beside Cebu Country Club

32. Cebu Chamber of Commerce and Industry office in North Reclamation Area, Cebu City

33. ABS-CBN/KBP/Cebu City Hall booth in Fuente Osmena, near Fuente Police Station

34. University of Cebu campuses - Main, Banilad, Lapulapu-Mandaue

35. FORMO in Banilad Town Center, Monday-Thursday, 6 p.m. onwards

36. VUDU in Crossroads, Tuesday - Thursday, 6 p.m. onwards.

37. TOYS @ WORK in Banilad Town Center

38. VERY MARY SHOP in Myra's Pensionne in Escario St.

WANNA KNOW MORE OF HOW YOU MAY HELP? Then please visit GOOGLE's Help for Typhoon Ondoy Victims in the Philippines page. You can also keep track of the latest news on Google News and YouTube.

My Final Piece: Keeping the Faith

noreply@blogger.com (atenean101) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 20:45:00 +0000

Unintended & unplanned, best describe how our paths crossed that day. Yet at the same time, these words also best describe how we separated...

Everything's unpredicted, seems like a magic cast by fate. Yet unlike the usual fairy tales we have read, our story's not meant for a "happily ever after" ending. Perhaps it was, but we opted to end it the other way. Fate cast a spell on us which never meant to be forever. Worst, it lasted in just a glimpse, in just a snap, the time when we're just starting to enjoy it.

But maybe there's a valid reason why things need to happen that way. It maybe unclear yet at this stage but for sure there is.

God is indeed wonderful after all. He has created a way for our paths to cross, for us to share His wonders the time when I was about to consider this life a curse. Above all, He has given me an angel to light thy path when I was totally down and lost, when I was just by myself in the middle of darkness. To my surprise, that angel was you. These only give me enough reason to be forever grateful.

In life, there comes a point wherein situation would asks each one of us to let go. Oftentimes, we take this negatively. Oftentimes, we forget the very fact why this needs to happen - for us to learn, understand and realize our strengths and weaknesses which would eventually help us grow wholistically as a being created by God to submit to His will.

For sure nobody would have wanted to let go of someone close to us especially if that someone has already marked a special part in our heart. Nobody would have wanted to let go if only left with options to choose. But because there's no other option left but letting go, then that alone prevailed. And for such a courageous decision, I believe I just deserve your respect and understanding.

It hurts me to let you go but I am letting you go now. But this doesn't mean that I am going away, I will just stay here so you won't be lost once you find your way back to me. I may be letting you go now but this never mean I am ending whatever we have had... for I will forever love you no matter what happens.

Fate's may be outside our boundaries but whatever it may lead us, remember to always keep the faith... for as long as we believe we are friends, we will forever be.

The Solitary Soul Whispers...

noreply@blogger.com (atenean101) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 22:48:00 +0000

“Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.”

Time just went so fast. And before I knew it, it's almost been 3 years that I've tried to live my life independently, alone and away from anyone or anything that would remind me of home. I've always thought I'd be able to overcome the feeling of loneliness inside me. I've always let myself believe that I can make it without them - my family and friends. Moreover, I've always tried to keep myself busy and deny every thought of home. Yet I failed again. Whatever I do I can never escape reality.

Right now, the thought of home is haunting me once again. I am missing everything I've left there, especially my family. I felt like I was betrayed by my own system. The walls I've been trying to build to shield me from pain and longingness eventually collapsed. And no matter how I try to rebuild it, I just cannot. I feel weak, I am weak now. Bleeding and enduring all these pain brought by nobody else but myself, by my stupidity.

This solitude sucks. It really does. I hate it. It's killing me little by little. This feeling of being alone tries to take out sanity from me. If only I've carefully walk thy path, I shan't be lost right now. But it's already late for any regrets now, it's too late to go back and walk the right path. But maybe it's not yet late for thy soul to let go from this cliff where I've been clinging and surrender this life to who really owns it.

Yes, I am missing home so much. I miss Dad. I miss Mom. I miss Ate Dhes. I miss Aldrin. I miss Balong. I miss everything at home. Yet no matter how redundant I become, no matter how many times I'll emphasize my longingness for home, all I could do now is just write. But I'll try to let them notice this, and I'll let this note shout it out loud how I miss them, of how I miss home so much.

This solitary soul is in need of your help. Just in case you're hearing me, save me.

My Last Pieces: [1] Straight from the Heart...

noreply@blogger.com (atenean101) — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 22:29:00 +0000

Just the same as what the song has said... Someday, somewhere, I hope we'll find the right place and time for us.

After we have talked last night, I've already made up my mind. Made it clear that starting today, as I have started writing this note, I would try not to be in contact with you again. I'll try building walls if necessary. I know how hard the task would be, and for sure this will never be easy. But I need to do this, until such time that I would no longer be affected of anything you say and of whatever you do... until I could already say I have moved on, without having to prove it to anybody, not even to you and not even to myself.

This is not what I want, God know. But this is the only best option I could think of. Believe me, this really hurts me, but I need to do this. Believe me, this is not what I want to happen... but if this is the only option I have, I am taking this.

Never have I been a gambler in my entire life, but this time I'll try to be one.

Never did I think of doing an action that may disappoint you... an action that may end up you hating me, and me hating myself, but because this is the only best option I have, I am willing to take the risk.

Last night, you just confirmed everything that has been bothering me. No matter how I tried to defend you over my system, fact would remain a fact... that you just did what I always fear that you will do. And it's not just a thing to me, it's something which I have been trying to live without in my entire life - fear of being DENIED & REJECTED, the total opposite of ACCEPTANCE.

I no longer know whether this decision is right or if this is not, but then again I'm taking it.

Let this note be one of my last pieces... And now, after this had reached you, I will write the very last piece.

A Message to 'HIS' Friend

noreply@blogger.com (atenean101) — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 22:14:00 +0000

Hi New Friend,

Thank you for accepting my invitation, to add me as a friend. I know I should have done it before, but I hesitated. Afraid to be rejected or denied. But this is nothing personal, or this doesn't mean anything other than the fact that I wanted to be friend with UNDISCLOSED's friends.

But please do not mention this to him. I'm afraid that he may not like this. And just to clarify, UNDISCLOSED and I are friends. Yes, I should have wished, hoped, or prayed that it would be more than that, but I opted not to, since I know the real score between us. And no matter what I do, for him, I will just be a friend... but it's better to have him as a friend than not to have him at all, for he's someone I dreamt of having before which I never have had...

I should have invited you personally to join us a while ago for a dinner. But then again, I hesitated. Fact is, we do not know each other; you do not know me and I am the same to you. And we have not even seen each other yet. So I let him invite you instead. Yet, it's quite sad to have learned that he never tried. And no matter how I tried to force him to try, he never did. But I am giving him the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps, he has his reason, or should I say reasons, why he never tried. But I wouldn't ask him anymore, 'coz I am tired of asking him things... I am tired of desiring for answers... I am tired of making myself a fool in front of him... And I am tired of begging him for attention. Maybe, I am just getting tired of being tired.

Nonetheless, I will be forever grateful for I have known him, and for having him as a friend... and thankful that I am now a friend of one of his closest friends.

Thank you. Your acceptance to my friendship invitation is indeed appreciated. And I am looking forward to know you better.

Again, thank you.

P.S. I chose not to disclose any names on the above message for confidentiality purposes. Thanks.

The Imaginary World I Used to Live

noreply@blogger.com (atenean101) — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 21:32:00 +0000

Live, Love, Blog! This is how I learn to live my life as a blogger...

As of this writing, this first ever personal blog of mine is about to turn one year old. Been blogging for almost a year now, and for this span of time I could say that it has been a fruitful year for me. Yes, I have encountered lots of money-making sites in the blogosphere, yet somehow, I did not mind it that much. But now, I am starting to put my blogging passion to the next level.

Earn with your blog, write reviews of advertisers products and services. For today, paid reviews are the fastest and accessible way of blogs monetization. Legal and quite ethic. Earning on paid reviews writing - is that way of blogs monetization, which allows you to earn quickly and much. Moreover, it is the only way to make money, if your blog is placed not on your own host, but on a free platform (for example, blogspot.com, livejournal.com, twitter.com). 0% commission for Bloggers.

Honestly, I've already been asked several times by several bloggers and non-bloggers as well, of how much do I really earn from my blog... yet I never answered anyone, or never disclose any amount at all. Some even think that I earn a lot from this because this blog happens to rank far better than some other blogs around, but hey, this statement is not for the purpose of bragging. This I want to clarify, I am a blogger and never a bragger.

The thought that you are earning or being paid just by simply blogging, reviewing, sharing your thoughts, or writing a buzz or a blog post advocating something that you do care about, is just really amazing. But still, this fact did not really interest me that much, but I am willing to try it. Maybe I am just too hesitant, or maybe it's because of the fact that money is really not my point of interest in life.

Just today, I spoke with one of my close-blogger-buddies about a certain site which offers bloggers the fastest way of blogs monetization. Though I am hesitant, but learning that it has worked well and she has been paid better than the other sites of the same nature, caught my interest. Maybe this is worth a try, I told myself... why not try it, anyway it's free and there's really nothing for me to lose.

Well, I will give this a try... and we'll see what's next...

Then He Learns to Write...

noreply@blogger.com (atenean101) — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 23:18:00 +0000

... Because when he thinks, he writes.
And when he writes, he minds! - atenean101

The voice within has spoken, and speaks for itself.

So the day has come...
Another life's chapter is unfolded.
Another journey has started.
Empty pages are about to be filled.
To come up with a life worth living.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009 | Posted in
Dear Diary,

Today, I have decided to start writing this diary. And yes, I am so excited. I cannot help but be so excited with the idea that starting today, this diary shall be witness to my daily life's account... and that starting today, I will open my life to anybody, to everybody.

Reasons to this decision are aplenty, but I shall not disclose any here, not even one. Let me just put it this way; God is so good that He has shown me the way to realize life's lesson that I need to learn.

My sincere thanks to Dr. Charles C. Finn for his poem entitled "PLEASE HEAR WHAT I AM NOT SAYING", for this had brought me too many realizations, realizations which I consider fundamental in my growth as a person, and as a wholistic being created by God to submit to His will.

But please, I beg you not to judge me through this writing alone. This is just merely one side of the story. Just simply my take on my very own story. Whatever I may input here, may not all be true, or the other way around. Fact is I am only human. For as long as I am living, I could always commit mistake and misled anybody. Sad thing is, I may have committed these yet I am not aware I just did.

I may be soliciting your attention, but this does not mean I need your concern, not even your sympathy. Let alone serve the very purpose of this diary. Let alone be the subject of your conscience. And let alone follow this diary's golden rule: "PLEASE JUST READ!"

An Eagle's Wholistic Achievement

noreply@blogger.com (atenean101) — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 22:35:00 +0000

When the eagles starts to fly, he soars the highest... And when the eagle falls, he learns the biggest. - atenean101

Eagles are achievers, they say. When they start to fly, they soar high... and when they fall, they learn big. This maybe true, and this maybe not. Whatever the case is, I shall not speak based on other's experiences but myself.

Challenges make us discover the things about ourselves, which we never really knew. Oftentimes, these are the the ones of what make the instrument stretch; what make us go beyond the norm, or what one could ever imagine. And because it has been always the case that our own strengths do not match to the task given, we should not assume that it is beyond our capacity... Instead, let ourselves motivate our own selves and believe that the task is just within our compass.

Another chapter of my life is about to unfold, and not so far from now, I shall begin composing another interesting contents for it. A content that maybe complicated and may not easily be understood by most readers, yet surprisingly impressive, informative and thought-provoking, where most of the time only a few are able to learn. And unlike before, that I normally author the previous chapters by myself, I would now be asking contributors to co-author this next chapter, and help me with my journey into a more readable and legible content for the benefit of many readers.

The Never Ending...

noreply@blogger.com (atenean101) — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 23:04:00 +0000

Follow your heart, the common notion when we talk about love. And the same thing that I would like to advise you at this stage... at this point in time that you are in doubt and confused of yourself, particularly your feelings. Your case maybe quite different with mine but at least, somehow, I could relate. And I am feeling you, I always do.

Never have I been into a case like yours, before, not even once. But for sure I know and I am certain of the feeling. Yes, I have been in love - fallen in love, not just once but many times, yet never have I experienced the other way around. This may sound quite sad, but I am taking the pain. God is with me, and since He is with me, I shall be at peace.

Please do not think that I am letting you go now. I am not going to do that and will never ever do that. Just want you to have peace of mind and to do what you truly desire. You deserve it! This is not what I want, God know... I just cannot stand to see you in pain and in sorrow, worst, I can never be real happy to see you in such situation. Never! You don't deserve it. And I don't want to complicate the situation.Your happiness and your betterment, is enough to make me happy and contented with what fate has given us. So please go... Embrace the light that you deserve. I will be okay, for sure I will be.

Being strong or weak is no longer a question here and now. I mean, this does not matter anymore. It is our faith that is more important, and the trust we have built. And just the same as what I have told you before,

for as long as we believe that both of us is important to each other, for as long as we keep the promise to never let go, and for as long as we believe we are friends, we will forever be...

God is indeed wonderful, because He has created a way for our paths to cross. And this is the only time I have met someone so special and interesting... An angel in disguise who has shown me the wonders of believing and made me feel my importance as a created being... And the one who has tried his best to bring out or rather bring me back to my real self.

Please remember that I will be forever thankful that you came into my life. And for as long as I am breathing, you will always be remembered and missed.

Again, please do not be bothered, I am okay. Just follow what you believe is right, and where your heart leads you. Yes, please settle things now before it worsen and be more complicated, before everything will be too late.

I will always be here... you can count on me.

My Sincerest Note Ever Written for MOM

noreply@blogger.com (atenean101) — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 22:13:00 +0000

... and for this day when GOD have given the earth a life who would share and love dad for a lifetime, and who would eventually give life to us - Ate Dhes, I, Aldrin, & Balong, I am thankful.

... and for a son and a child who has been lost, let today be the day and a way for him to clear his very soul from doubts, pains and miseries. Let go of those unnecessary memories that is accountable for all the negativeness, and destroy the barriers that he has built for him to fully embrace life's happiness.

There is always a fallacy underneath the statement "every child in the family is equal", this is how I continue to live my life as your child and as your son. As much as I wanted to ask for encouragement, care and love from a family, a parent and a mom, I just opted to let you believe that I am okay. And so I have decided to do things on my own, to work on my own, and to satisfy myself on my own. Moreover, I have pretended to be happy and contented with the things you have given me when it's a fact that I feel so alone and a "last-priority". Making me believe that this world is totally different from what you have taught me before... that this world is full of lies and fakes. And that no matter how I try to make myself right to be noticed and loved by you, still I am just an option.

We know for a fact that I have never been the child who you always wanted me to be. This is the very reason why until now I am still striving and struggling with my life, trying to find ways on how am I going to be that child... and still in a search for my real self, making it a point that someday, somehow, you and dad would be able to accept me for what I have become, so I could fully accept myself as a person, and my worth as your son.

You don't deserve me, this is how I have taught myself.

I know that most of the time, I cause you much pain and frustration rather than giving you peace of mind.

You have been through a lot, and for this I thank God you are still in and with us for the duration. You have endured with patience no matter how I have tried to push my life against your will. And yes, I regret the pain I have caused you and I still carry it with me.

Mommy...

I may not have informed you yet how important you are to me, but now I would like you to know that you are, you really are.

I may not have told you how you always fill my heart with cheer and how happy I am whenever you are near, but now I am telling you.

I may not have shown you that your unconditional love and care, always brightens my day, but if you are only near me right now, I surely will.

Lastly, I may not have thanked you always or most of the time, for the many things you did - not just for me but for all of us, but now I just want you to know that I am thankful for everything.

Hope I could reach out to you right now, at this very moment while I am writing this note of my sincere love and gratitude, so I could tell you everything... everything that I have tried to keep in me, rather than to share to you, for almost all of my life.

Yes, we may not have been together through life's sorrows and pains, but I am glad that somehow we have always managed and we have always endured the strain. Please remember that even if how I have tried to go against you, deep inside me I still am longing for your advices and those things that you wanted to remind me of. You will always have a special place in my heart, and you will always be the greatest mom I have ever known.

Again, my apologies for not becoming the son and a child that you have wanted me to be... In time, I hope you will learn to accept this fact.

I hope to see you soon, with daddy, ate, Aldrin, and Balong. I miss you mom, and I miss all of you there. I miss your company and the laughs we had shared before. I love you so much. And if GOD would allow me to make things up to you, I would sacrifice even my own happiness, just for you to be completely happy.

On this day, let me tell you how grateful and lucky I am for having you as my mom. Happy Birthday MOMMY!

By His Will, He Shall Have Peace...

noreply@blogger.com (atenean101) — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 21:14:00 +0000

"Mind is the Master -- power that molds and makes, and Man is Mind, and ever more he takes the Tool of Thought, and shaping what he wills, brings forth a thousand joys, a thousand ills -- He thinks in secret and it comes to pass; Environment is but his looking-glass." - James Allen

Everything that has happened will be of significance to everyone of us. No matter how we try to deny this, this would remain a fact. And no matter how we pretend that we are no longer affected of what had happened, still there will come a time that we would realize that we are just fooling ourselves. Because everything that has happened is the very reason why we have learned life's lessons, and at the same time the reason why we have decided to move on and to keep living life the way it should be lived.

"To hope for such thing to happen is to wait for something that is impossible to come" - this statement bothers me a lot. Because if one will just continue to hope and hope and hope and hope, without doing what is right, or without even making a move for one to answer such hope or for one to even notice that the other one is hoping, then certainly it would be an endless waiting... an endless hope.

Life's complicated, and it's a sure thing. But if one wants peace of mind, then let not peace approach one's mind. Rather, let one approach the other one, and let their both minds meet for the closure of any issues or whatever it is that bothers anyone of them. It may not really be a total closure since I really don't believe that there's such thing as 'total closure', but at least each' concern has been presented and noticed... and only then that one's understanding would be a matter of his own piece of peace.

And if one has the will, he shall have peace.

Yes, I am learning. I am learning things that way you have touched and taught me.

HIS Wonders That We Cannot See

noreply@blogger.com (atenean101) — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 02:15:00 +0000

I do not know what would happen between us before my day, but whatever happens please promise me that you will be with me on that very day...

Last Sunday, on the last part of the mass - a mass where you have invited me to attend, I cried while praying... and I do not know if you have noticed it, but I did. And why I cried is still a strange feeling to me until now? Isn't it strange that I have felt HIM beside me, that very moment? I do not know...

While I was praying, I started to ask HIM things that no matter how I have tried to ask him before, still I do not understand until now... and you know what happened next? I felt HIM. I felt HIS presence, and I felt HIM tapping me on my shoulders...

He then reminded me of the rain, of why it rained... of your presence, and of how the events turned out the night before and that very day. Then I suddenly saw you, smiling and inviting. HANG ON, you just said. And that made me really cry.

... Just letting you know, that you are the gift I have asked HIM for that day...

After Everything Has Been Said...

noreply@blogger.com (atenean101) — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 15:16:00 +0000

"A mighty pain to love it is,
And 'tis a pain that pain to miss;
But of all pains, the greatest pain
It is to love, but love in vain."
- Abraham Cowley

Today, I have to let go... and all will be forgotten.

This is what I am trying to work on as I am writing this. I know this would be very hard, but I would rather try it...

There is always a rainbow after the rain, they say. And if this is true, I hope I will find the rainbow soon. But, is it really just a rain? I do not know.

Now only one thing is for sure... despite of all the pain you have caused me, you would still be a big part of me, in my mind, in my heart, and in my soul.

I know this is no big deal to you, but I am just letting you know. I don't care anymore, I don't care anymore because I know that no matter how I have tried to run and hide, and kept things just by myself, I always ended up thinking of you... Everything seem to remind me of you.

But after everything has been said and done, and knowing that I once had you in my life... I am hoping that those memories of how I used to be, would be the traces that will remind you of me...

... Yes, I am missing you...

When Miseries Unfolded...

noreply@blogger.com (atenean101) — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 22:26:00 +0000

I feel weak... I lack energy. And I am tired lately. It is not only because of my life's current events but because of my mind, emotion, and body's unwillingness to function and to harmoniously work on things together. And now I would want to ask for encouragement, yet I have immediately realized that I already closed my door for such stuff... at the same time, I doubted that it would really be of any help at all.

Life is a big doubt, I continue to teach myself. Everything in it, including myself, is now considered nonsense.

My life is a world that is empty and void. It's just plain... unspecial and a real complaint. And as I go on with it as I continue to live, I feel it is getting worse.

I envy people who are always happy. And most of the time, I envy them because of the very reason of their being happy - they are love and loved... which in my case is something that is unrealistic and would forever be just a dream that I won't be able to live in reality.

In my entire life, I have always tried to be the strongest person that I have never really been even just for a single instance. I have never invited the thought of giving up. I kept going and going and going and going. I feel that I could not afford to give up not until now... not until you let me feel the pain of dreaming, of expecting... not until you made me realize how rude and cruel I have been to myself for being a person that I am really not... and not until you showed me the real you...

... and to myself, my sincere apologies. If only I have been true, if only I have not dreamt that big and if only I have listened, these miseries will surely be just a word written in the air. But I did not! And because of this, my sincere apologies again.

If given a chance, I would want to ask you. That of all the people you've been with and you've shared your life with, why me? Why did you let me believe that the relationship between dreams and reality is directly proportional? Why did you give me reasons to be happy when you will end it just like that? And why are you such a great actor, that you have acted well on pretending to be with me when it's a fact that you are with them?

Yes, you stabbed me twice as what they did. And so I do not know now how long or until when would this bleeding last... And I am not even sure if I would still be able to recover. You just hit me unexpectedly, the time when I am trying to heal the previous wounds. And it hurts. It hurts more than one could ever imagine, feel and think of. And most of all, it hurts because you know for a fact that I am still bleeding, the time you stabbed me.

Now I am greatly disappointed. Disappointed with my life as a whole. Disappointed with everything.

But maybe I am really not meant to be me...

I Have Fallen to Life & Love's Mediocrity

noreply@blogger.com (atenean101) — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 21:31:00 +0000

"If we can love someone so much, how will we be able to handle it one day when we are separated? And if being separated is a part of life, and you know about separation well, is it possible that we can love someone and never be afraid of losing them? At the same time, I was also wondering... is it possible that we can live our entire life without loving anyone at all? - THE LOVE OF SIAM"

Everything is back again to where we were last time. Me trying and doing all the efforts to make things happen, and holding my own happiness just for you to be happy... because you seem to appear to be doing the same thing, and I thought that we could really make it right.

Yet at this point, you appear to be just playing around with me and with my feelings... and just trying to make me feel better and comfortable even if it's not really what you wanted...

Now I am thinking that maybe I should not really settle to be in a relationship that I am really not into... I mean, for being just the one who cares and just the one who's trying to be accepted by the other one. Also, I should try to look for the real one who would be into me as I will be into that person. And maybe in this case, I will be fair enough to myself and to my whole being as a person.

For in this world that is full of lies and fakes, no matter how I try things to be right or to even be just fine, I will forever be just an option.

"Do not waste your time on someone who doesn't appreciate you the way you should be appreciated... Do not ever settle for mediocrity, for being just an option, for being the one who's just fun to be with, for being the one who's always there desperately waiting for mere concern or pity, or for someone who likes you just because he knows he's got the power to break you... Do not ever settle because deep down inside, you know who you are, and you know without a doubt that you deserve better if not the best."

In Replacement of My Stolen Mask

noreply@blogger.com (atenean101) — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 23:55:00 +0000

"The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can't be any large-scale revolution until there's a personal revolution, on an individual level. It's got to happen inside first." — Jim Morrison

For the past few weeks, I seem to have misplaced the mask which I usually wear... the mask that has been a big part of my life since childhood days. And now I am left with this mask that I am not so familiar with, and I find it to be quite annoying sometimes. But little by little, I am adjusting. Its size and shape may not really suit me well at this stage, but for sure, sooner or later it would best fit me.

And now I stood here in an utmost feeling of disbelief... still trying to figure out those things that I do not understand... those that I could not even understand... those who try to stab me with desire... those who burned themselves with their stupidity and arrogance... and those who have gone really far to conspire with their own enemies, just for them to slay the name of vanity and pride, and to possess those that they could never really have.

Losing, or rather, misplacing my previous mask is indeed a real torture, not just to myself but to the culprits as well. Yes, I just have a feeling that it was not misplaced but intentionally hidden or put into somewhere else by a certain somebody who has no good intention at all.

Each day, I am becoming no good to anyone, not even to myself. And I am just wondering why I am starting to like it.

I know it's just around here some where... It is probably just hiding there, and this is not really the first time that I have misplaced it... I just know it's there, but I don't even bother to look for it. I will try to find it sooner or later, but not now, and not even at this stage. Maybe, I will have to let myself be used or fit with this current mask I am wearing so I can be what they want me to be...

They have done the unthinkable... through betrayal and lies. And I guess it's just better that I return them the favor.

They have tried to slain the previous "ME", and I believe that it's just fair enough to pretend that they have succeeded with it.

Right now, I am still trying to adjust with this mask that I am wearing. And because I am not yet used to this, maybe it would be best to give this more time, and focus on things that this would bring me with... even if it means that I have to temporarily stop dreaming, and embrace a world which is empty and void.

But don't worry, I will be just fine. I promise to find it soon enough, or maybe I will just have to wait for it to come out of the place wherever it was hidden... I will try to look for it tomorrow. But I will just try.

When Greed Reaches the Philippines

noreply@blogger.com (atenean101) — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 03:34:00 +0000

"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning." - Morrie Schwartz

It has always been strange to me of why those things which we normally admire in a certain individual are most of the time associated with failure in our system. And those that we detest, like greed and being self-centered, are the ones with success... that while we admire the first quality, we then love and praise the produce of the second...

It's not so long time ago when a group of Australians landed the Philippine archipelago. They invested, built and established a stronghold of their business in the land thinking that the misbehaviors they have had with their business particularly with their employees before, way back in their own land, would be eliminated or would be avoided by employing Filipinos instead of their own race... but the scene that they're trying to avoid are eventually the scene that they're about to handle and manage, as it's becoming surreal as time continues to fly...

Desire is not bad. It is really not bad at all. It only means that you are manifesting your destiny to its optimum level with the use of your optimum potential... and this is exactly one of the the very reason why we are here in this world. And just like what I have read from a certain article, if we only take greed as a driving force in pursuit of many things like happiness besides money then everything will just fall into their right places.

But it's another story when you cross the line. It would already be like stealing... and when we speak about stealing, it is considered to be a mortal sin as it was written in the 'HOLY Book': "thou shall not steal". Also, it would surely cause you a chain of negativity in your system wherein you will eventually steal from someone else or suffer more than others had to, more than others were supposed to, and it would be for a lifetime.

Quoted: PGMA's 2009 State of the Nation Address

noreply@blogger.com (atenean101) — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 21:56:00 +0000

"I will defend democracy..."
"I have never declared martial law..."
"I have never expressed the desire to extend my term..."
"I have been falsely accused of using my position for profit..."
"Those who lived in glass houses should not cast stones..."
"Governance is not about looking and getting even..."

The above quoted statements are taken by yours truly from the recently concluded President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo's State of the Nation Address - July 27, 2009.

The State of the Nation Address or better known in its acronym - SONA, is one of the most controversial and highly criticized event in the Philippines' Republic. And the main reason behind this is the fact that this is a very special event wherein the current President of the Philippines reports on the status of the nation as a whole - in different areas and perspective, normally to the resumption of the Congress' joint session (the House of Representatives and the Senate). This is one of the duties of the Philippine President as stated in Article VII, Section 23 of the 1987 Constitution:

"The President shall address the Congress at the opening of its regular session. He may also appear before it at any other time."

The following 5 quoted statements are the 5 things which PGMA included in the list of her administration's achievements:

"We have a strong economy in a strong fiscal position to withstand political shocks."
"We built new modern infrastructure and completed unfinished ones."
"The economy is more fair to the poor than ever before."
"We are building a sound base for the next generation."
"International authorities have taken notice that we are safer from environmental degradation and man-made disasters."

With this recently concluded event, there have been mixed reviews given by the people of the Philippines towards PGMA's SONA itself, but more importantly to her governance as a whole. I shall bear witness to these reviews... I have heard people praising her for her achievements and I have heard people mocked her.

And later, I will be revealing my personal views or reviews rather, on such issue - particularly in PGMA's governance as a whole. So you better watch out for it on my next posts...

Experience the Even Greater Maribago Bluewater Beach Resort

noreply@blogger.com (atenean101) — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 21:23:00 +0000

Many aspiring travelers desire a much-needed getaway for them to unwind and relax, who doesn't? Taking the plunge to provide refreshing relief from life's pressures is the most ideal solution for each individual who's looking to treat themselves to unique, exceptional and exclusive experiences...

Being a member of Cebu's finest bloggers, the Cebu Bloggers Society, I am greatly honored and pleased to have experienced the even greater Maribago Bluewater Beach Resort in its 20th year. It is indeed one of the best experiences I have had in my entire life.

Maribago Bluewater Cebu is getting bigger and bigger, moreover, it has created an image that made it more appealing and impressive to each travelers, tourists or anyone who has the desire to take a plunge.

And just like what a fellow blogger has stated, Maribago Bluewater Beach Resort is more than just a resort. It is also socially responsible by simply being mindful of its responsibilities towards the environment and even the public's benefit.

Also, I would like to say that if I really enjoyed Maribago Bluewater, then might as well try Sumilon Bluewater Island Resort.

If you want to know more about this amazing resort, why not watch Maribago Bluewater Video or better yet, visit them at Sumilon Bluewater Blog

Check out this photos, just wanted to show how we did enjoy Maribago Bluewater Beach Resort! Cheers!

Special thanks to PINOYWORLD for if not because of him, I won't surely experienced such a wonderful and great experience in my life.

The Bitter Realization of the Broken Soul

noreply@blogger.com (atenean101) — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 15:09:00 +0000

Pity for myself, for no matter how I tried not to be affected still I am affected. But what made things worst was the very fact that no matter how I wanted and tried to make things right, still I ended up unappreciated and unworthy of it.

All of us goes through our own ups and downs in life. And being labeled as civilized human being, we have what we call defense mechanisms that are socially acceptable. What is unacceptable to me now, is how events has turned the other way around and how it has affected me so much.

Like what I have mentioned before, I have never really been a kind of person who normally holds grudges because I know for a fact that it will not do me any good at all, but because of what had happened I am starting to become one. I even learned how to push my anger to its very limit.

As an individual and as a social being, it is important that we become socially aware and responsible. Not just for the good of ourselves but for others as well. But maybe what I thought and what I just did is a big mistake. I just actually tried to correct the wrong doings of a certain 'trash' since obviously, it's already becoming habitual. But such act created a certain negative image or impression in me that I just cannot comprehend and even accept no matter how I have tried. Never in my entire life that I was humiliated with such intense... that it has affected me so much and eventually became an agony.

I am currently in the mode of healing myself with this pain that is brought by bitter reality. I chose to do it just by myself to avoid complication and to avoid occurrences where I might end up losing my sanity.

Yes, I am disappointed. And I am disappointed not because of how things ended up but because of what reality had taught me. Indeed, it is really sad that there are still people in this world who could care less with the people around them, and could even done such selfish acts for the benefit of their self-centered selves. Moreover, the saddest and very disappointing part here, is for me to realize that there are really individuals who could pretend to be blind, deaf, and mute over facts in exchange of a certain prize.

I have tried controlling my emotions... and I have even tried holding it as much as I could. But instead of making me feel better, it has built and created anger, depression, pain and shame. And eventually resulted to my incapacity to think, communicate, and to socialize in the better sense.

To you who have done this to me, you will never have an idea how much pain, suffering and humiliation you have caused me! Your selfish acts need not be tolerated.