On the day we found out we’d lost the baby, this cat showed up in our carport. She snuck into our house as we were shuffling kids into the car and curled up on the sofa and went to sleep like she’d lived here her whole life. Later that night she crawled into bed with us and slept curled in the crook of our legs.

And I protested about not needing another animal. Or my not so happy feelings about cats. Don’t hate me for saying this. The thing is, I’m just not a cat person. Much to Thomas’ dismay I’ve just never enjoyed the company of cats.  So, I complained about this intrusion. But the truth is I was a little happy about it. It’s a strange and difficult thing for me to admit to actually liking a cat. But she was sweet. And pretty. And declawed. And just kind of nice to have around.

So, the kids named her Mrs. Hannigan and we tried unsuccessfully to find her owners. When it was clear she either had no longer had a home or that her home was unfindable we decided to keep her. She loved to sneak outside during the day and run around the yard before coming back within an hour or two. She snuggled with Kai in the top bunk. She sat and watched TV with Thomas. She was becoming our cat.

But today she snuck outside and wasn’t back within an hour or two. And then she wasn’t back by bedtime. And then we didn’t see her again. Which, in a bizarre turn of events, made me cry. For a cat. That I didn’t want in the first place. (I’m sure there is some psychological theory about misplaced grief that would easily explain this.)

So, now I’m sitting up at 1:15 a.m. checking the back door like crazy to see if Mrs. Hannigan is waiting to be let in. And I feel like crying every time I don’t see her there. It’s possible I have some emotions that need to be worked through. But, in the meantime, I’m crossing my fingers that Mrs. Hannigan will show up tomorrow…

Our Thanksgiving Warm-up preparations are still very much underway. And with 40 guests descending on our house this weekend, I have so much to do to get ready. Especially since we always try to entertain as well as we can without breaking the bank. Which means we have double the work to do since we’re not paying to have caterers, florists, or other trained professionals help us get things ready.

So, I thought this week I’d share my favorite tips for saving money when hosting a big dinner party or other event.

1. DIY. My philosophy when it comes to party planning is why pay someone else to do it when we can do it ourselves? That means baking cakes, cooking food, arranging flowers, and prepping all on our own. I actually once created an entire sushi themed cake by finding a how-to online and dyeing, rolling and shaping my own fondant. It was so much easier than I thought and saved me a lot of money. I know DIY seems like a no-brainer, but there is plenty out there that you can pay people to do for you and if you’re looking to save money it’s totally possible to do them yourself. I’ve had my share of parties where I delegate these things to knowledgeable (and expensive) professionals but I know that if I’m trying to save $ then I can always hit the web and find easy tips for DIY solutions.

2. Get creative. Sometimes saving money means finding solutions in strange places. For instance, this year we are putting two 60″ round tables outside and converting the carport into a really fun outdoor room. Seeing as how I don’t have extra 120″ table cloths laying around and dressing a table  well can be expensive we got creative. We found that canvas drop cloths (the kind you find at Lowe’s for painting) actually make a pretty nice looking table cloth. And since we could buy one super huge one and cut it into two we saved a ton of money. We even bought a couple and converted them into outdoor curtains for our carport since actual outdoor curtains are so costly. I can’t wait to share pics after the event because they really are going to be pretty. And afterwards I can use them when we paint our kitchen cabinets!

3. Garage sales and thrift stores and Goodwill, Oh my! Never underestimate the value of these places! We’ve been making stops for the last month and a half at thrift stores in the area looking for the extra seating we knew we’d need to accommodate 40 guests. We’ve managed to get almost all the folding chairs we’ll need for less than $4 each because we’ve taken our time and gathered them every time we saw them at thrift stores. This works for other entertaining essentials like platters, pitchers, etc. It helps if you have a kind of eclectic sense of style to begin with. we’re what you might call…quirky. Or tacky. Whichever. But, if you look hard enough you can find things to fit any style or taste level. People give some beautiful things to thrift stores when they’re done with them.

4. Potluck. My favorite thing about our Thanksgiving Warm-up is that we do the turkey and a few other sides and then leave it up to the guests to bring their favorite recipes. The whole point of our party is to try new recipes and have a kind of practice run for everyone so it works perfectly. But, it also makes the party itself much less expensive to host. When you’re only providing one or two foods for guests and not the whole spread it makes a huge difference.

5. Procrastinate. I fell into this one by accident a couple years ago, but it has served me well. One year I put off picking up Thanksgiving Warm-up decor until the week of the actual party and was happy to find that all of the Thanksgiving decor at Joann’s Fabric was heavily discounted. This year I bought all of the floral pieces we needed at 70% off because I waited until last weekend to pick it up. Now, I suppose you could plan ahead and buy clearance Thanksgiving after the fact and save it for next year, but since there are very few lists that actually encourage procrastination I thought I’d throw that out there. Besides, where’s the adrenaline rush in actually doing things early?

So, here’s where you get to play along. What are your best tips for saving money on Thanksgiving or other big events? I’d love to know your favorite money saving moment from hosting a party!

Eco-Friendly Tree Branch Holders & Place Cards by A Remark You Made.

“Be Thankful” Fabric Banner by Simple Whimsey.

Vintage Pilgrim Salt & Pepper Shakers from Ruth’s Attic.

What are your favorite Thanksgiving finds?

Before I was married Thanksgiving was hands-down my least favorite holiday. I called it an “old people holiday.” I thought it was boring, depressing, & dull. But something happened after I got my very first casserole dish at a wedding shower. I fell in love with the potential that it held. Thoughts of french fried onions and cream of mushroom soup danced through my head. I longed for a chance to use that dish.

Fast forward 8 years (has it really been that long??) and Thanksgiving has become one of my favorite holidays.

And one of my favorite pre-Thanksgiving traditions we have is our Thanksgiving Warm-up party. Every year we have a party for friends & family to come and practice their favorite dishes before the big day. It’s a Thanksgiving pre-quel of sorts. Thomas usually cooks two turkeys trying out different recipes while everyone else brings salads, sides, breads, & desserts. It’s a full fledged Thanksgiving dinner. Because our theory is that the only thing better than celebrating Thanksgiving is celebrating it twice.

This year I’m extending Thanksgiving Warm-up to my blog. From now until Thanksgiving I’ll be posting recipes, tips, & various guides to all things Thanksgiving. Not to mention, I’ll be asking for some advice, recipes & entertaining tips from you guys as well!

For more Wordless Wednesday, head over to 5 Minutes for Mom and 7 Clown Circus!

First and foremost: If you’re going to bum around in your PJs all day at least make a point to put on a bra. ‘Cause I have a feeling it’s less embarrassing to be at the hospital in PJs covered in baby throw-up when you’re well-supported.

Second, you can pretty much guarantee that the day you feed your son the organic hippie baby food made with black beans & quinoa it will be the day he gets sick and you’ll have to explain to everyone what the last thing he ate was. And they’ll all look at you like you’ve lost your ever-loving mind for feeding a baby black beans & quinoa. And you’ll start to think that maybe you have.

Third, there are some questions that are just routine even when the nurse knows the answer. Take, for instance, “Is he up to date on all of his vaccinations?”

God bless that sweet nurse. I could tell she already knew the answer. And I wanted to say, “Well, I’m a bra-less, no make-up wearing mom who clearly hasn’t shaved her legs in a good 2 months and who just admitted that I fed my baby organic black beans & quinoa for lunch, so, what do you think? Does it sound like he would be up to date on his vaccinations?”

Instead, I just told her we were doing delayed/selective vaccination. I’m sure (judging by the looks of us) she was not exactly shocked.

I knew the moment the words came out of my mouth that I had tempted fate. I know better than to say something like, “Yeah, luckily we’ve never had to take any of our kids to the Emergency Room for anything.”

Smart, huh? Less than 24 hours later guess where I was? Yep, the Emergency Room.

Traveler spent the majority of our day projectile vomiting all over me and various rooms of the house. Then he fell asleep. And I couldn’t get him to wake up. At all. And that is when I freaked out. One call to our pediatrician and we were being sent down to Scottish Rite. It was the scariest drive of my life. Traveler wouldn’t stay awake. He continued to projectile vomit in his car seat. We’re talking more than 9 times in less than 2 hours. I can’t tell you the things that were going through my head.

But Scottish Rite is a magical place. Because even though he was throwing up in the waiting room (baby barf bags are heartbreaking and hilarious at the same time) the moment he was in the exam room surrounded by nurses he turned on the charm.

See what I mean?

Meanwhile the girls were in the waiting room with the entourage of family that met us there within seconds of our arrival. And while Traveler was getting a hefty dose of Zofran, they were busy modeling the latest fashions for avoiding the dreaded H1N1. (Kai was not amused.)

I am so thankful that what could have been a really bad scary trip to the ER was actually a mild introduction to the wild world of emergency medicine. Let’s just hope it’s not an experience we’ll have to repeat any time soon.

Raggedy Ivy

Kitty Cat Kai

Yoda Traveler Was

Our little Fortune Tellers

The girls gave Halloween a trial run the other weekend at a local Halloween fair. Should I be embarrassed that Fortune Teller style garb seems to be a staple of our everyday wardrobes?

“I’m playin’ wif the widda box.”

The little box. Great. No problem there.

About 30 minutes later Ivy came over very sweetly and said, “Mommy…there is sort of a mess in the bathroom but don’t worry because you can sweep it up.”

When I asked her what the mess was from she said it was because of playing in the “Widda box.”

And then it dawned on me. “Do you mean the little box or the LITTER box?”

Can you guess which one she was talking about?

Yes. My daughter had been playing for the last 45 minutes in the litter box. As if it were a sandbox. Because, well, that’s apparently how my kids roll.

To be honest, I was so tickled by the whole thing that I couldn’t scold her without giggling. So, I just cleaned her up and explained that in the future we don’t play with, you know, the cat’s toilet. There’s a rule I never thought I’d have to make.

No building sandcastles in the litter box.

At least it was clean at the time…

I hate it because I already find that I’m blaming myself for this anyways. Was it because I was breastfeeding while I was pregnant? Was it all those jokes I made about how crazy it was going to be to be pregnant 2 years in a row? Was it because I was embarrassed? Or because I hesitated in being happy right in the beginning? Is it possible that if I had loved this little one more in the beginning it would have stuck?

I know the answers to these questions. I know it is no one’s fault. I know it happened because it happened and nothing would have been able to change it. But for some reason that doesn’t stop these thoughts from climbing, unwanted, into my brain when I let my guard down.

I went to the doctor on Monday and found out that this surprise baby was gone. That he or she was just no longer there. There was no drama. No bleeding. No pain. No fanfare. It felt a little like some terrible biological practical joke. Now you see the baby. Now you don’t.

I’m sad. And heart sick. I’m confused and frustrated. I wasn’t planning on this, but I was looking forward to it. We all were. And now I feel emptied of something I never even knew I could have wanted.

On Monday after finding out we had most likely lost the baby (blood work confirmed it on Tuesday) I threw myself into helping Kai with her Bible verse memorization. I got goosebumps the first time I read it.

“To you, Oh Lord, I lift up my soul; I trust in you, Oh my God.” Psalm 25:1

It was the perfect verse for me that day. And I’ve found myself reciting it over and over and over these last two days. I’m trusting that there was a reason for this even though it makes no sense to me. Why would I conceive such a surprise baby only to lose it a few weeks later?

I know I’m blessed. I know that there are many women who struggle through pregnancy loss over and over again. And I feel selfish and greedy for being so emotional since I’m blessed to be able to snuggle on the sofa with my two big girls and my baby boy. I also know loss is loss and I’m going to allow myself to grieve this and not apologize for being sad.

And even though I’m going to allow myself this sadness, I’m going to remember what I have. And I’m going to cherish them and hold them tight and be thankful. I’m also going to be holding tight to Psalm 25:1 because I have a feeling that verse didn’t find me on accident this week…