attaché case

Hosanna

2018-01-19T10:49:00.002+08:00

(/broken hearts)

I've had my share of heartaches

because of a boy, shattered dreams,

closed doors, unmet expectations.

Pieces of my heart were left in the trail

that I can't glue back together.

There have also been times when

You've broken my heart.

The difference is, You give me a new one

each time

--a heart made of flesh, not of stone.

So, I've decided that

I'll always choose to leave the past behind.

"I have a future to get to"

(will keep running in my mind).

I'm not running away.

I'm running to You.

One thing I'm sure of:

There's healing in the aftermath

because of You.

But, I'd rather that my heart be broken

for what breaks Yours.

For in You, hearts will always be made whole,

whilst broken hearts, break hearts in return. ©

Book Review: Blossoms of Friendship

2015-07-06T22:50:00.003+08:00

This is not supposed to be my next entry after "Saudade" but since I am taking forever in writing that, I decided to post this one instead.

* * *

I bought a book from our local Book Sale sometime in May. And I finished reading it just this month. (I know, I know. Apparently, I now find it difficult to finish a book. *insert shocked emoticon here. Haha!)

Anyway, the title of the book is Blossoms of Friendship. It is a collection of poems written by Helen Steiner Rice. She was known as the "Ambassador of Sunshine", was the founder of the Helen Steiner Rice Foundation and was a poet admired by Pope John Paul II himself. You can read more about her here and when you do, you will understand why she was such a remarkable woman. :)

* * *

What made me choose to scan the book from among the many books on the shelves was its cover. It has a dainty watercolour illustration on it.

As I began to flip the pages, it was a thrill to discover that this particular book was given by friends to a friend during Easter in 1993. I think that this is what prompted me to buy the book right away. :)

When you read the book, you will find that the chapters are named after flowers and that each is accompanied by a description of that flower. I love tulips so I chose to feature the introduction of that chapter here. :)

All illustrations used in the book were made by Maureen Ruckdeschel.

The next set of photos are of my favorite poems so far.

This one is from "God Knows Best"

And this is my most favorite because of the last two lines:

"...in God all things live again."

Finding this book really gave me joy. One, because I like old books. I think I mentioned that in a post before. I like how they smell. Plus, in my mind, owning a book which belonged to someone else in the past makes "life" very real to me. The older the book, the better. (I don't know if you get that. Haha.)

Two, I feel serene everytime I read this book. The words and the illustrations have a calming effect on me.

Third and lastly, I love that the author wrote that God is our friend in her poems. One of the issues I am dealing with right now is related to some relationships that I have gained last year. I am dealing with the question "Is this friend true?" with many of those I have met. I think that because the author wrote about God as a friend, that question is losing its significance. I think that I am being reminded that it's not important if this or that friend is true. What's really important is if I am true.

I am ending this entry here. I guess from my tone, I still sound a little gloomy. I think I'm still hurting but I can definitely say that I am already in my journey of healing. So... as the Koreans say, "Fighting!"

Saudade

2015-05-18T20:59:00.002+08:00

So...

A lot has happened since my last post - which was in November. I planned that the next thing I would talk about in here is the wedding that I attended last December. But, it looks like I can't talk about that yet.

Confession: Life got to me. I got really busy during the first half of 2014. And by the second half of it, when I finally had the time, I found out that words escape me. I couldn't process my experiences - there were a lot of learning experiences. And that made me really sad about myself. I felt like I have gained all this knowledge about people and how the world works but I couldn't tell anyone.

Another confession: I still can't. I don't know the exact reason behind what I'm going through right now but it's the way things are right now. Sometimes I think that maybe I need to get myself checked by a psychologist. But, most of the time, I just tell myself na nag-iinarte lang ako (that I am just being emotional).

Bottomline: I don't like myself right now. Which makes it difficult for me to like people. Which means that as much as possible, and now more than ever, I don't want to be with people right now. I have very few exceptions - family and friends who have suffered with me in the past.

Anyway...

The title behind this post is Saudade. It's a word that I have recently learned about. It's Portuguese/Galician that doesn't have a one-word translated meaning. It means ALL this:

For me, the beloved is myself. If you're judging me right now, I don't blame you. Haha. I mean, I understand if you have thoughts about how whiny and egotistical I sound right now. It's alright - because I am thinking the same thing.

Earlier in this post, I mentioned about not liking myself right now. It's because I miss the "old me". The me before life got to me - before I got totally disenchanted and skeptical and somewhat calculating. I miss being genuinely caring towards people the most.

I can't go into details right now - and most probably, I never will. So... I will end this post here. And begin writing my new entry.

Don't worry. It's not as gloomy as this one. :)

‘Love the Lord your God

with all your heart

and with all your soul

and with all your mind

and with all your strength.’

The second is this:

‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

There is no commandment greater than these.

Mark 12:30-31

Peace At Last

2014-11-15T00:29:00.003+08:00

In the darkness

in this light

I am reminded

that everything I did

I did not do for you.

Above the noise

inside my head

In the quiet

of my aching heart

I hear a gentle voice
- assuring

that I did it all for Him.

It wasn't for you

you were not my end goal

nor was it about me

all care for myself I threw away.

It was all for Him,

It was all about Him.

It still is,

Always.

Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.

Colossians 3:23 NLT

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

John 10:10

Persistence in Prayer

2014-01-23T10:03:00.001+08:00

"We should persist in prayer until we have an overwhelming desire not to." (Why does God Require Persistence in Prayer? by Pastor Rankin Wilbourne)

One of the lessons during my devotions this January is to persist in prayer.

I am a little overwhelmed by this. I mean, I've known and heard about praying unceasingly. But looking back, I cannot recall a time when I have truly applied this in my life. I've had faith goals before, yes. I prayed for them and believed for them in the beginning of the year. Sadly, as months progressed, I forget to lay them over and over again before God until he answers them or until he gives an answer.

So now, in this season, I feel a little overwhelmed by it. It rings so truly with the truth banner that I am holding on to this year - and that is, to abide in God.

At the beginning of this year, and even before the end of last year, I have come to realize that I want more of God. I want to know him more- I want to again desire him more than anything else. And I think God is reminding me that prayer is an effective means to achieve this.

Thinking about it, I think that a reason behind my not praying unceasingly is because I have this attitude of accepting things easily. In my own language, I'd call it my kung ayaw mo, 'wag mo (If you don't want to, then don't) attitude - which speaks a lot about my pride. I have to do away with that pride. I have to acknowledge that there are things that I desire so badly and that I must be humble enough to show it to other people. Well, maybe not to everyone. But I have to stop acting "strong" before God. He knows what I truly feel inside. There is no point in putting up a facade.

Another thing that I find difficult about persistence in prayer is that you need to invest a lot of your emotions into it - and because of that, the tendency is to get frustrated. I am a very emotional person - which is why I often tend to run away from things that I truly care about. It may not look like it, but given a chance and a choice, I would decline responsibilities. Again, I need to change this tendency if I truly want to know God more. Persistence in prayer may result into frustration. But that "frustration purges and purifies our desires."

Here is an excerpt from Why does God Require Persistence in Prayer? for a deeper understanding of this:

Persistence compels us to the true center of prayer, which is not something but someone. Persistence deepens our relationship with God and compels the heart to examine what it really wants most. Do you want God’s will? Do you want God even more than you want what you are asking for? If not, then for God to grant what you are asking for, even if it is a good thing, might be the most unloving thing God could ever do.
Persistence demands patience, waiting. This is the ground of spiritual growth, spiritual vitality, and health! Because our natural inclination is to use God and not to love God, only frustrations in prayer can purge and purify our desires. Henri Nouwen captures the idea beautifully, “you must be patient…until your hands are completely open.” Perhaps God desires to give you exactly what you have asked for, but only in a time and way that the gift can truly benefit you instead of harming you.

xxx

God uses persistence in prayer to purge our desires. God also uses persistence in prayer to mold, even transform, our desires, to change how we pray and even what we are praying for so that we gradually come to pray closer to the heart of God’s will. xxx

To read more about persistence in prayer, you might also want to check this article by Bob Stone.

And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.

-Luke 11: 9, 10

And so it goes with God

2013-12-04T00:02:00.001+08:00

I saw Life of Pi for the first time a week or two weeks ago. I still can't get it out of my head - especially this exchange between the writer and Pi:

Pi: Can I ask you something? I've told you two stories about what happened out on the ocean. Neither explains what caused the sinking of the ship, and no one can prove which story is true and which is not. In both stories, the ship sinks, my family dies, and I suffer.

Writer: True.

Pi: So which story do you prefer?

Writer: The one with the tiger. That's the better story.

Pi: Thank you. And so it goes with God.

If you have not seen the movie yet, Gregory Stephens offers a very brief summary of it (as mentioned in Wikipedia): "(it is) about a sixteen year-old polytheist who survives 227 days on a lifeboat with a Bengal Tiger." And if I may just add, the story also involved a zebra, a hyena and an orangutan. In Pi's alternate story, the animals are people - making the story "unbelievable" because it would be gruesome. So it is no wonder that the writer chose the version with the animals. While it is incredible in itself because of the characters involved, it is the better story because it was the one filled with hope.

I am in awe that this film can be used as an illustration of what faith is or how we should choose what we believe in. Weeks before I saw Life of Pi, my mother asked me about the difference between our faith. Why did I choose this faith? I have not given her a reply yet (I'm a little scared that I would screw up). Of course, I can't ignore her question forever (God help me with my answer. I have a lot of answers but I want to give the best one.)

I think I would give an answer that goes something like this:

"I knew about God before but I did not know Him. I've heard of his hand, of what he can do. But I have not met him face to face, I have not spoken to him personally because I have been weighed down by the things that I must do in order to be right with him. I have memories of him being close but these memories are fleeting. With the faith that I have now, I have come to know God. I have learned that there is nothing that I can do that can make me right with him. That made me sad at first but then I learned that I should not despair. Because He made a way. And He did it all.

That is something that I must accept. That is where my faith comes in. I am making new memories of who God is and these are memories I want to hold on to."

I guess the short version of that (assuming that my mother has seen or will see Life of Pi) would be this: I am like the writer in the movie who was in search of a story. I've heard different versions of who God is. And I choose the better story. I choose the version where God sent His one and only Son to die for my sins - the one where he died saying "It is finished" and then rose from the grave giving me a chance to live life to the full.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

-John 3:16

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith— and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast."

-Ephesians 2: 8, 9

Pi: What has Mamaji already told you?

Writer: He said you had a story that would make me believe in God.

Pi: He would say that about a nice meal. As for God, I can only tell you my story — you'll then decide for yourself what you believe.

Writer: Fair enough.

- Life of Pi (film)

A Time to Die

2013-11-02T15:52:00.003+08:00

Was there ever a time in your life when you thought that "This season would be a good time to die"? I've had this thought when I was in my second year in University.

Don't get me wrong. I wasn't suicidal (still not). But I thought of it because that time was a good time to die even though I have not finished my degree yet. At that time, my relationship with God has grown deeper; my relationship with my parents and my siblings were made right; and my relationship with my friends were like family. I felt like I had it all. . .that if I died anytime soon, I would be happy knowing that I have lived a full life.

All Souls Day is that one very special day out of the 365 days of the year when we remember the dead. In the Philippines, it's that day when many camp out in cemeteries and spend time (eat, talk, drink, sleep) with the remains of family who have long gone as well as spend time with living family members to tell stories of how their dead lived their life. But this isn't what All Souls Day mean to me. At least, the time I've spent in cemeteries (I've spent two hours, tops) do not attest to this.

To me, All Souls Day is a day of reflection - of how well or how badly I've been living my life. Most of the time, it's the latter.

Perhaps you've heard of this sermon (at church, from a friend or a parent): Live the dash.

The lesson goes like this: When you die, there are two dates that would accompany your name on your epitaph: the date you were born and the date that you die. In between, there is a dash. What do you want that dash to represent? What would be the story behind it?

Of course, I think about this on other days, on normal days. But today, on All Souls Day, I make effort to think about it and not ignore it. In truth, I've had difficulty ignoring my story - or the story that I want my dash to tell because I am reaching my quarter life. I'd be 25 soon and I am scared that years in the near future, when people ask me what I have been doing in my life, I wouldn't be able to give an answer that I would be proud of.

And so, I've been planning how I'd spend my 25th birthday and my life after that day. And in order to get there, I'd have to make changes in my life now. Adjusting is never easy for me but I am hopeful that as long as God is with me, I'd be more than okay.

My prayer is that may God point me towards the paths I should take and may I have the heart to obey.

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

-Psalm 90:12

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die... .

-Ecclesiaster 3: 1, 2

The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.

-Proverbs 16:9 NASB

People disappear when they die. Their voice, their laughter, the warmth of their breath. Their flesh. Eventually their bones. All living memory of them ceases. This is both dreadful and natural. Yet for some there is an exception to this annihilation. For in the books they write they continue to exist. We can rediscover them. Their humor, their tone of voice, their moods. Through the written word they can anger you or make you happy. They can comfort you. They can perplex you. They can alter you. All this, even though they are dead. Like flies in amber, like corpses frozen in the ice, that which according to the laws of nature should pass away is, by the miracle of ink on paper, preserved. It is a kind of magic.

-Diane Setterfield, The Thirteenth Tale

We should live until we die.

-Fun, The Gambler

Whisper of the Heart

2013-09-29T22:28:00.000+08:00

This has become one of my favorite movies. Its themes include libraries, reading, young love, chasing after dreams and serendipity. Today, I share my favorite scenes from this movie. I hope you find joy and inspiration from it, too. :)

I like that Seiji was the first one to say "I like you" and he said it in a subtle way but still direct (I mean, you'd get that a boy likes you if he read a lot of books because he saw you reading a lot and he even went out of his way to read them before you got to so you'd notice and remember his name, right?). Plus he said it in a not creepy way.

Seiji's grandpa is very assuring but he doesn't hide the truth from the children : that if you have a dream, it's alright to chase after it. But you need to remember that if anything is worth doing, you should do it well.

Most of all, I love how Seiji is so sure that Shizuku is his - and that he refers to them as a team. :D

I highly recommend that you watch Whisper of the Heart. :)

It's August

2013-08-01T01:19:00.001+08:00

Half of 2013 is gone. Wow. And this would be my what, second or third post for the year? Eeep. That means I have a lot of things going on.

But anyway, I would just like to remind myself (and you as well) to not be so serious. You know the Facebook app "God wants you to know?" It's amazing that God even used that to give me this BIG batok (in the English language, the equivalent of this expression is wake up call).

July 29, 2013

So, a day later, rather than stressing out on the fact that I have a lot of backlogs in my readings in law school, I have decided to take the time to go back to being a kid.

Yesterday, I watched Rise of the Guardians again and was struck by the song accompanying the end of credits. It is called Still Dream and was sung by Renee Fleming, a soprano. I like that the lyrics inspire a person to remember to chase after their dreams. :)

Still dream and all the wonder that you knew
Will all come flying back to you.
If you remember all the hope you left behind,
Open up your heart and change your mind.
Oh what you’ll find if you still dream.

Today, I ate ice cream, hugged a panda and rode a swing. Tomorrow, I shall meet with my close friends from my high school. :D

I hope God is looking at me now and is smiling from the heavens. ^o^

He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them.And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. (Matthew 18:2-4 NIV)

Click here to read more. God bless. :)

It's been a while - a photoblog update :D

2012-09-10T00:10:00.003+08:00

The last time I posted something here, I was still a sophomore in law school.

I'm a third year law student now (I'd still be next year due to circumstances. But that's another story and it's one I'd rather not broadcast through the internet ;).

Anyway, my first semester is near its end. A month to go and I'd enter another semester...hopefully another season. So before I share anything more...here are updates through pictures :)

1) My friend's baby is already a year old. She turned 1 last August 20. This reminded me (again) that time flies so fast.

Baby Deelan with Mommy Joy and Daddy Vinci

2) A friend got engaged. Another friend gave birth to a healthy baby boy.

3) I now live two houses away from school. :D


This is Zachy (the "dorm dog"). I used to be afraid of him but now he listens to me so well that I find myself wanting to play with him when he's being his active self.

The girl on the left side is Val, my new "close" friend. We live in the same dorm though we are not roomies. This was taken just yesterday when we decided to do our groceries together.:)

I guess I won't be able to say anything else because my eyes need to rest so I can study in a while. I'll end this post with pictures pertaining to my plans in the near future then:

1) My sister and I will watch The Phantom of the Opera this Saturday. :)

After months of saving up, we ended up buying tickets for the Balcony side. HAHAHA! (Hirap mehn) But it's ok since I bet the music would still sound great. I'll bring my handy "disposable" binoculars so I'd get a "frontrow" view of the show. xD

2) I'll soon get my perm. I'll have my hair assessed this Tues/Wednesday so I can prepare financially and emotionally (because girls and their hair have a secret relationship. hahaha!)


I tried curling my hair two weeks ago and found out that it would look like Yoona's hair now. So I plan to pattern my perm after hers. I don't want to have my hair coloured so I'd just choose a cellophane treatment that would nearly look like her hair color in these pictures.

I really want to write more because I feel like I have a lot of good news to share (bad things have happened as well but I think I should keep those to myself since those events were learning experiences to me) .

A lot has changed and I've matured (not so much but enough to say that it's worth telling. hahaha!). I'll try to write again as soon as I can.

Keep chasing after dreams until then.

As I would be chasing mine. :D

Lost and Found

2012-02-26T00:05:00.002+08:00

I just read a friend's blog post about losing something and finding it again... and it inspired me to share my stories of how I lost my wallet and gained something far better in return.

I actually wanted to share this in the comments section of Kaye's blog, but I thought that it would be too long to be considered as a "comment" (~~Sometimes I over think things. Strike that~~. I often over think. xD)

x X x

I'd like to think of myself as someone who's careful with her things. But in truth, I really am not. I easily forget where I've put something and it takes me quite a while to remember where I last used it or saw it. Sometimes, I even do not remember where I've placed something of mine AT ALL.

Take for instance, my wallet. As far as I remember (hahaha), I've only lost my wallet thrice. And it's such a hassle because I not only keep money inside my wallet, I also put pictures, my ID, SM advantage card, Laking National card, etc in it. So losing it would be a GREAT DEAL to me.

x X x

The first time I lost my wallet, God showed me two miracles.

I was on my way home to Laguna (my permanent home) from QC (where I lived temporarily for sometime because I was attending University) when I lost my wallet the first time. I only realized it when I was already on the bus. I got really anxious to the point of getting teary eyed already because I had no other money with me. I tried retracing my actions before I got on the bus - I even began doubting myself on whether or not I really did bring my wallet with me. BUT, I remember having taken out my wallet when I rode a tricycle and a jeepney before getting on the bus. And then I thought that maybe I forgot to put my wallet inside my bag after paying for the jeepney fare. Yes, that was it, I thought. I then began panicking on how I'd be able to get home. The conductor would collect my payment for the bus anytime and I had nothing with me. Based on observation, conductors ask passengers who can't pay or can't prove that they've paid to leave the bus. Some conductors can really be mean in doing it, too.

I don't remember praying (I most probably did, after all I was desperate) but I decided to just tell him the truth. Never mind if he'll believe me or not. I'll find out soon enough after telling him.

So I told him my story - my voice shaking and my eyes trying hard not to cry. To my surprise and my great joy, he believed me right away! I didn't even have to reason out or convince him at all. He was very nice about it and he even tried to cheer me up by joking that he'd pay for my fare BUT on one condition: I have to become a "suki" (regular client) of the bus company he was working for. I was very thankful to him that I promised myself that I'd keep my word even though I knew he was just teasing me.

And that's why I often ride this bus since that day

That was the first miracle.

I witnessed the second miracle two days later when I found the lost wallet in a bag I left in QC. I really don't know how it got there but IT WAS THERE. Unbelievable right? :)

Sometime later, I lost the same wallet but I got over it easily - fondly remembering what happened the first time I lost it.

The third time I lost my wallet, I was on my way home from law school. And I believe that it was for the same reason I lost my wallet the first time: I forgot putting it back in my bag after paying for the fare. Anyway, I got over my loss when two of my friends in law school offered to give me a wallet when they heard about what happened. That was really something because it was a first for me. Two people offered to replace my wallet - that's something right? :)

So there. The wallet I am using now was given to me by one of those friends. I think my other friend would not have minded if I asked to receive her offer as well. But I am content with just owning one wallet AND finding out that I have two good friends. :)

As a final message, I'd just like to encourage you, dear reader, that the term 'lost and found' doesn't always refer to losing something and finding the same thing. Sometimes, it's losing something and finding something far greater than what you've lost - like greater faith and two good friends. :)

Breaking my floral affair

2012-02-03T17:38:00.000+08:00

My heart just broke because I found out earlier that the blush I've been using for the past two years has been discontinued. Which means that I have to find a new one. :(((

Revlon's Peachy Keen, A Floral Affair Collection

I've grown so attached to it.

I began using it in 2010 when my sister gave me one as a gift. From then on, I decided that I would use it for the rest of my life (yes, like saying "i do" and committing yourself to that person when you marry someone). So when the one my sister gave me was gone, I bought a new one last year. I never imagined that it would be discontinued (and that I have to break up with it). :(((

x X x

I love using it because:

1) It acts as both bronzer and blush;
2) It's so easy to put on - I just use my fingers to apply it;
3) I need not put on a lot of it but it lasts for the whole day PLUS one case is enough to use for the whole year;
4) It's a blush that I can use everyday and even on special occasions; and
5) I especially like how my skin looks like when I've been under the sun and my blush looks natural when I finally enter a building.

Photos of me using Peachy Keen

High school reunion, May 2010

After dinner at an aunt's house, June 2010

Jeff and Steph's wedding, April 2011

Tommy and Hazel's wedding, October 2011

at Prince Edward station, Hongkong Christmas trip 2011

Peachy Keen and I have been through a lot for the past two years. It's sad that I have to let it go. WHY-O-WHY-REVLON? :(

I should ask the Revlon salesladies if they have anything now

that has those 5 things I love about Peachy Keen. </3

Ps. Maybe you can suggest a new blush I can buy from now on (not necessarily from Revlon)?

Pressure

2012-02-03T00:22:00.001+08:00

SNSD has finally made their debut in America. HOORAY! ^^

A few weeks ago, I found out that Seohyun dreams of being a diplomat when she's older. Have I mentioned that I, too, plan to be a diplomat? (It has nothing to do with Seohyun. Really. My friends can attest that I have wanted to be a diplomat long before I knew SNSD. *defensive* :)

Anyway, I am only two years older than SNSD's maknae. There's a chance that we'd be diplomats at the same time and meet somewhere when that time comes. How exciting would that be, huh? I don't want to pass up the chance of meeting her and speaking with her in person - which means that I need to study more. Or as one of my professors put it "Endeavour to make studying painful because if it isn't painful then it must not be working."

Pressure. But I will also endeavour to enjoy the challenge.
I must. :D

Strengths finder and understanding one's self

2012-01-29T16:31:00.001+08:00

Two weeks ago, my good friend, Leb (or Liv) sent me a link to a free strengths finder test. It's based on the popular research by Jim Clifton.

I finally had the time to take the test this morning and according to the results, these are my top five strengths: Ideation (100%), Maximizer (100%), Communication (100%), Belief (95%), and Intellection (90%).

I also had the opportunity to ask Leb how the results of the test affected her. She told me that it made her understand herself more and made her want to improve on her strengths. On the other hand, Joni, another good friend who also took the test, answered that she was surprised with her results. When I saw mine, I have to side with Joni. I am more surprised than reflective. LOL. I mean, out of the five, I can only agree that I am strong in regard to the last two: Belief and Intellection. So I think, I'll begin to improve on those strengths first. Here are the result's suggestions:

Belief (95%):
People strong in the Belief theme have certain core values that are unchanging. Out of these values emerges a defined purpose for their life.

Tips to Improve this Strength:

Make efforts to discover your true passion and tie it to your work, no matter what you do.

Align, but don't compromise, your values to that of your organization.

You respect others for learning about your family and community - give them the opportunity.

You give more value to greater levels of service than more money - let others know this.

People may not share your beliefs, but you feel they need to understand & respect - let them.

Intellection (90%):
People strong in the Intellection theme are characterized by their intellectual activity. They are introspective and appreciate intellectual discussions.

Tips to Improve this Strength:
Look for opportunities to capitalize on your being completely energized by thinking.
Don't hesitate to challenge others or be challenged in your thinking.
Schedule a few long stretches of time to simply muse.
Seek to help others with books, reports, and articles and give them a report of your involvement.
Do have detailed discussions on introspection and self-discovery with interested parties.
Pressure yourself to present your thinking in efforts to enhance the clarity of your thoughts.

x X x

Anyway, while I may not agree with the results in general, I must say that there were questions in the test that struck me. And I think that those questions really do define me. Those are (but these are not the exact words in the test):

I believe that everything has a purpose; that we're all part of a bigger picture;
I like encouraging others. I am refreshed when I refresh others;
I like making my points through stories; and
I have this great need to think. I like order and organizing my thoughts because when I don't think, my inner self gets chaotic.

If you're interested in taking the test, here's a link.

Good day. :)

Celebrating January

2012-01-28T03:08:00.001+08:00

January is one of my favorite months just because it's my birth month ^___^

First celebration was with siblings

at Chili's (Greenbelt 5) and Shakey's (Glorietta 3)

In our family, there are three January celebrants: me, my sister and John (the youngest). These were taken Jan 8 & Jan 22

MY SIBLINGS and I had a big misunderstanding last New Year's Eve. Because of it, I didn't speak with any of them until January 4. Actually, I wasn't expecting that I'd be celebrating my birthday at all this year because of what happened. LOL.

Lesson: I can be dramatic at times. I can exaggerate a situation especially when an explanation is not offered right away. In this case, I think my siblings are guilty as well. :))) Anyway, we have to overcome this problem this year because when I spent New Year alone, lying in my bed, I resolved that 2012 is gonna be a memorable year for me (in everything). So I will not have any of those misunderstandings anymore. PLEASE. :)

x X x

2nd: with Joni and our common-close-friends

at Gayuma ni Maria (Maginhawa, QC)

I was so excited that I even took the time to make this invitation photo :)))

Joni and I planned to play Pinoy Henyo with our friends (a Filipino guessing game) during our dinner party. It was supposed to be a surprise - the clues are in the invitation photo above. Do you understand the connection of the clues to the game's name? :))) (I know I can be corny so forgive me na lang. hahaha)

Sadly, I didn't take a lot of photos with/of our guests. So please check Ella's blog for photos. And Joni's as well if ever she writes one. ;)

x X x

3rd: with Jainy

at SumoSam and Krispy Kreme (Trinoma)

This was taken just a few hours ago. :D

x X x

I do not usually celebrate my birthday this much BUT as I've said, I wanted 2012 to be memorable. So I really am making effort to meet up with friends and family more - even though 1) law school is keeping me really busy these days and 2) I'm an introvert. My kind are not clingy friends and we tend to get tired when we meet up with people a lot and go outside our comfort zones. :)))

February is coming soon.
I am praying that it'll be memorable and good as well.

And my other prayer is for conceited boys to be kept away from me.
This year's title will not be The Boys 2.

Christmas in Hongkong (Day 1 Part 2)

2012-01-25T00:11:00.004+08:00

I finally had the time to make a part 2. LOL.

Our itinerary for Day 1 looked like this

Day 1 involved a long list of destinations such as Sha Tin Central Park, Sha Tin Public Library, Sha Tin Town Hall, Tsang Tai Uk Playground, Che Kung Temple, Kowloon Park, etcetera .

We didn't get to visit all those places because of what happened next...

WE GOT LOST.

Our first destination was The Ten Thousand Buddhas Monastery. When you look at it on a map, it looks very accessible if we were to come from our hotel. So we chose to go there first AND we chose to walk there.

A= our hotel, B= Ten Thousand Buddhas Monastery

We expected that we'd get lost, yes. BUT we didn't expect to get lost A LOT.

I blame myself for being conceited. I have this reputation among my family members that I'm pretty good at following maps AND directions but I guess we didn't consider the "foreign country factor" (which I define as the lack of people whom you can ask directions to arrive at your desired destination). Hongkong's primary language isn't English so we couldn't just ask anyone we meet on the street for directions to check if we were following the map right.

Anyway, after walking for quite some time (around 20-30 minutes), we finally saw signs which we thought pointed to the Monastery.

It turned out that we were WRONG. Again. Fuk Shan Tze is a new temple which is not open to the public.

Sai Lam Temple IS Sai Lam Temple.

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!

Between the sign pointing to Fuk Shan Tze and Sai Lam Temple,we found steps that looked like it would lead to the Monastery. (We didn't take a picture of the steps because at the bottom of the steps sat a Chinese man who was talking on his cellphone. We might be accused of intruding his privacy.) We climbed up using the steps - I was even counting how many were there. When we got to162nd, we heard dogs barking. My youngest brother who was leading took a look at what was happening. He suddenly screamed "Andaming aso! Hindi nakatali at mukhang hahabulin tayo!" (There are dogs and it looks like they're after us!) So in a panic, we rushed down and you can imagine how tired we were already. *sigh

THE KINDNESS OF A STRANGER

When we arrived at the bottom, we saw that the Chinese man finished talking on his phone. I was really tired by then so I took the chance of asking him where the famous Monastery was. Our conversation went something like this:

Me: Excuse me? Do you know English?
CM: (in a very apologetic tone and facial expression) English? *chinesechinesechinese* Not good. *chinesechinesechinese* Bad.
Me: Where is the Ten Thousand Buddhas Monastery? (Notice that even though he said that his English is bad, I still asked him. I figured if he knows how to answer in those few words, he at least knows very basic English ;)
CM: ahhh...*chinesechinesechinese* There there (pointing to the right). Straight. Sign. Buddhas.

Can I just say that we are very grateful to that man? Because we found the Monastery after he pointed it to us. That experience was amazing! ^___^

THE TEN THOUSAND BUDDHAS MONASTERY

This is my relieved and tired face. LOL.

my sister Yang

Each Buddha is different; unique.

RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE MONKEYS

My siblings and I didn't get all the way to the top of the Monastery because at this point where my brothers are standing,

we heard noises from the trees. There were monkeys! :) At first we felt "WOW!" and we continued to feel that way until a monkey dropped to the ground and began walking towards us. And then we changed our minds and were once again in a panic when all the monkeys on the trees dropped to the ground and began chasing us.WHATAHALFDAY, huh?!

When we got back to the entrance of the Monastery, we decided to skip the other places, go shopping, and then just watch the Symphony of Lights at Victoria Harbor.


Mongkok/Nathan Road

My brother is somewhat an imeldific when it comes to shoes and yet, he didn't buy any while we were there. He bought 3 (or was it 4?) pieces of wristwatch though.

LASTLY, Victoria Harbor.

AND that wraps up DAY 1. ^___^

Christmas in Hong Kong (Day 1 part 1)

2011-12-28T18:38:00.002+08:00

I haven't mentioned that I'd be spending Christmas in Hong Kong in any of my previous posts, right? That's because this trip was unplanned. But I'm thankful that it turned out well. :)

Day 1

We left our home at 1 am to travel to Clark, Pampanga where we would ride the aeroplane going to Hong Kong. I only had an hour of sleep because I had to do chores and finalize our itinerary (which by the way, we didn't follow to the letter. You'll find out why later).

We arrived at Clark at 3 am. That night/day, I found out that a person can arrive at SM North from Laguna (where our home is) if the roads were not jammed with traffic. It really amazed me because it takes me two to three hours to reach SM North on an ordinary day.

Anyway, our flight was at 5 am so we had to wait for two hours. We didn't really had difficulty waiting because we were still sleepy - we spent the waiting with our eyes closed most of the time. ;)

PLUS, the waiting was worth it because we experienced walking on a tarmac (airport runway) FOR THE FIRST TIME.

Upon arriving at Hong Kong International Airport, the first thing we did was to grab a map. ..and have our pictures taken with it. :)))

We rode a red taxi cab (because it's the one that covers most of Hong Kong destinations; the other taxi cabs are blue ones and green ones) to get to Regal Riverside Hotel. It took us only 25 minutes to get there but we had to spend 265 HK dollars. :|

Anyway, we were greeted by this huge Christmas tree and pillars decorated with Christmas lights at the hotel's lobby. The festive feeling came back quickly. :)

Our hotel was named Regal Riverside because it was really beside a river called the Shing Mun river. Unfortunately, the room assigned to us was not facing said river. BUT fortunately, it was just across our hotel so we took pictures of it and with it before heading to The Ten Thousand Buddhas Monastery (which was our first destination for the day).

we even saw this little guy ^___^

to be continued. (because I'm getting dizzy and also, sorry for the monotonous travelogue. xD)

Seohyun's frustration and mine

2011-11-02T22:10:00.002+08:00

Entertainers have no brain. I'm so frustrated hearing that kind of stuff from people. - Seo Joo Hyun (SNSD's Seohyun)

I'm watching SNSD's Girls Go to School on youtube (again) because I'm anxious about a lot of things. Watching one of my favorite KPop groups, somehow, takes away some of my anxieties.

Tomorrow's my enrollment day. .. and tonight, I'm worrying about my grades last semester, my would-be schedule this semester and the tasks entrusted to me by the Boss (the Chairman of our school's Academic Bar Operations) for this November. I guess I'm this anxious because I feel that those three things are important to me.

Anyway back to Seohyun's frustration...

I can understand Seohyun. I can even say that I relate well with her. (BTW, if you don't know who SNSD is, they're also known as Girl's Generation - a Korean female group who debuted in 2007 and are popular for their songs Into the New World, Genie, Gee, Oh!, Run Devil Run, Hoot, Mr Taxi and their recently released single The Boys. Oh, and I love them so much especially the maknae [youngest] Seohyun) She's shy and quiet and careful of her words - a description I (and other people) can also attach to my name. She also likes watching cartoons and reading - two things I also enjoy doing in my spare time. I can probably go on and on about how well I relate with her but I'll stop with this: my frustration (Actually, I have a lot but I'll only talk about the one thing that's been bugging me since I entered law school.) is somewhat related with hers.

I don't want to be seen as a person with just form and no substance.

Background:

Last year, during my first ever semester in law school, my Criminal Law 1 Professor spoke of students who dress well but can't answer well in class. She called them "forms without substance". As a clueless freshman who really made effort to adhere to the school's policy that students should wear business attire, I was struck by her words. And I confess, a little hurt.

You can probably guess why.

It's because I dress well (hindi naman sa nagbubuhat ako ng bangko, but I really look good in business attire. lol. It comes with the serious personality.) but I couldn't answer well in class. Back then, I was still figuring out how to study effectively - and sadly, she didn't get to see me doing better in class (I finally got better come second semester of my freshman year).

But, even though I got better in school, that frustration still haunts me - and often. I feel inadequate at times and that feeling makes me tear up (oh my eyes TT____TT).

I don't really know how to permanently get over that frustration but I'm glad that I do get over it every time I'm haunted by it. Thank God for his comfort and his Word - words that encourage to move on and keep on trying.

Oh, and going back to Seohyun...

I'm proud to say that she's been working hard both in the entertainment industry and in school. Right now she is attending University while doing SNSD's activities at the same time. You can see how smart she is when she does her interviews on television. Thank God for Seohyun who entertains using her wits ^^

Oh yeah. I feel better after writing this. Good night. :D

Psalm 27 (MSG)

2011-10-13T14:32:00.002+08:00

Light, space, zest-that's God! So, with him on my side I'm fearless, afraid of no one and nothing.

When vandal hordes ride down ready to eat me alive, Those bullies and toughs fall flat on their faces.

When besieged, I'm calm as a baby. When all hell breaks loose, I'm collected and cool.

I'm asking God for one thing, only one thing: To live with him in his house my whole life long. I'll contemplate his beauty; I'll study at his feet.

That's the only quiet, secure place in a noisy world, The perfect getaway, far from the buzz of traffic.

God holds me head and shoulders above all who try to pull me down. I'm headed for his place to offer anthems that will raise the roof! Already I'm singing God-songs; I'm making music to God.

Listen, God, I'm calling at the top of my lungs: "Be good to me! Answer me!"

When my heart whispered, "Seek God," my whole being replied, "I'm seeking him!"

Don't hide from me now! You've always been right there for me; don't turn your back on me now. Don't throw me out, don't abandon me; you've always kept the door open.

My father and mother walked out and left me, but God took me in.

Point me down your highway, God; direct me along a well-lighted street; show my enemies whose side you're on.

Don't throw me to the dogs, those liars who are out to get me, filling the air with their threats.

I'm sure now I'll see God's goodness in the exuberant earth.

Stay with God! Take heart. Don't quit. I'll say it again: Stay with God.

Why do you write?

2011-09-11T21:48:00.001+08:00

When I was in high school, I thought that I was someone "great" (I was very proud back then. Like a boss. :) so I wrote in preparation for that one day when people would start asking me about myself.

Come college, I had a personal encounter with God and decided to surrender my life to his Lordship. So I wrote my prayers most of the time - especially those that I found too difficult for me to form verbally.

After college, more specifically, after my desert year (2009), I began writing in order to remember. I think my memory tore into pieces and I found myself not being able to recall events at will. I also wrote in order to remember God's promises and who He really is.

Now, I have this desire to write and inspire. But I find myself not able to do it. Or maybe I'm just unfocused.

How about you? Why do you write?

The Secret Room

2011-09-10T23:47:00.001+08:00

This is a personal paper written and submitted last semester (2nd, AY 10-11) for my Legal Writing class (yes, we still write reaction/reflection papers).

x X x

The Secret Room

I have been an avid reader as a child. I started with reading children’s stories (mostly Filipino legends and folklore) and now I am reading law books. I can say that my love for reading has matured as I, too, have grown up. But, I cannot deny that I still love reading children’s stories because they usually contain moral lessons that are presented in a simpler manner than “adult” books.

I am not sure whether the author of The Secret Room, Mr Uri Shulevitz, intended the book only for children. Yes, the story was written with illustrations but I do not believe that illustrations equal children as the target audience. There are certainly other people who would appreciate illustrations in order to understand a story more if there are drawings accompanying it – myself included. I have learned that I learn more when I see what is being taught to me.

I learned that about myself in my Psychology 101 class in college. I learned that there are different ways in which people grasp a lesson more or learn a concept more, sometimes, also depending on the topic or subject matter. Certainly, if a father wants to teach his child how to drive a nail through wood, he would show his son how to do it or give his son a manual with pictures on it indicating each step needed to be executed as the father oversees the son’s work. But the father, I believe would not just tell his son “Go. Drive a nail through wood” as mere instruction. Nailing, as a skill, would require demonstration. Teaching the skill, also, is not just the concern of the father. It is important that the skill or the lesson be taught in a careful and precise manner, lest the son or the student misunderstands the lesson.

When the story of The Secret Room was presented to us, the professor read the story to us and enjoined us to read it with him through the slides shown in front of the class. And after reading the story together, we were asked to make a reaction paper about it and to write that paper in our most persuasive way. Like the father who taught his son the skill of nailing through demonstration, the professor, in our situation, is teaching us the lesson found in the story through seeing, listening and experiencing the lesson. But before I react on what lesson (or rather lessons, for I have found two when I was contemplating on the activity) I have learned from the story, allow me to share the story to show how much I’ve learned through the professor’s manner of teaching.

The Secret Room tells of an old man who pleased the King through his wisdom. Upon meeting the old man for the first time, the King asked why his hair is white while his beard is still black, the old man replied to the King that it is because his “hair is older than his beard”. The old man displayed his wisdom through his answer for certainly, a man’s hair grows with him since childbirth while his beard only spurts upon reaching puberty. The King then ordered the old man not to share his answer to anyone until the old man has seen the King for a thousand times. When the King reached his palace, he asked a palace official why a man’s hair is white while his beard is black. To this, the palace official had no answer so he sought the old man. The old man agreed to share the answer in exchange for a thousand coins to which the palace official, thinking that he was outwitting the old man, readily agreed. And so, the palace official was then able to answer the King’s question. When the King found out about this, he called for the old man and demanded why he disobeyed the order of the King. The old man, in his wisdom, answered that he obeyed the King – he only divulged the answer after seeing a thousand coins where the King’s face is carved. The King, yet again pleased, made the old man one of his advisers. The old man served the King well and the palace official’s jealousy grew more. To make trouble for the old man, the palace official told the King of the secret room in the old man’s house where, according to the palace official, stolen treasures from the King’s palace were being kept by the old man. The King then went to the old man’s house and demanded to see the secret room. The old man obliged and we see that the secret room, contrary to the palace official’s statement, is actually empty. Finally, the old man shares what could be his greatest piece of wisdom yet: the empty room is to remind him of who he is – a mere man.

And now, I share the lessons that I have learned from this story: 1) we, law students, when we have finished law school and have finally become lawyers or officials, should remember who we are – mere men. Without the title or the privilege of being a lawyer, we are nothing. So we should not boast of what we have become nor use our profession to exploit our fellow men, and 2) persuasion can also be gentle. The act of persuading someone to believe in one’s own personal belief can be done through means that do not require violence or argument. As I have discovered while writing this paper, I have been persuaded in the belief of Mr. Shulevitz and even of the professor that officials should not boast of their office. How? By seeing, hearing and reading along the story of The Secret Room.

when God broke me

2011-05-30T23:18:00.003+08:00

These past few days, I have been hearing stories of friends who are hurting as they wait on God and/or as they wait for God to come through in their lives. Many times, I've been moved to share some things that I've learned during the desert year of 2009 (which in reality occurred June 2009 to May 2010).

But I still do not have the courage to share fully what I've experienced at that time not because I'm ashamed of it but because I'm still in the process of healing my memory. I'm having trouble recalling things that happened during those times and of the years before the desert year. I don't want to share things that I'm not sure how to tell.

Yet, I do remember the emotional roller coaster I was in at that time and how very much grateful I am to our Lord because I am where I am now. I know this so because those are two things that are very much alive in my memory until now and also, they are reflected in my journal. So let me share an entry, perhaps it can be a blessing to a friend.

x X x

March 28, 2010

Dear Dad,

Ang hirap pala talaga mag-antay. So super nakakahanga yung mga taong nag-aantay nang matagal. Like sa Bible, naalala ko si Hannah, yung mom ni Samuel.

Just a thought...or some thoughts on 1 Samuel 1.

When Hannah was waiting for a child, bitterness came upon her. Her response to the bitterness was to cry out in sorrow and anguish to the Lord.

I, too, have been waiting for a promise from God. I've asked many times. Sometimes I find myself asking without any feeling, sometimes confused. But most of the time I ask to receive the promise with feelings of sorrow and anguish just like Hannah.

Lesson learned: Bitterness is a natural emotion when you are waiting for a promise and have not received it yet. You may even get to a point where you feel frustrated. But amidst the feelings, all the emotions, it is important to remain faithful to the Lord. To remember that God is faithful and will fulfill His promise no matter what.

Haha. Dad, ang gulo ng entry kong ito.

x X x

Background on this entry: I slightly remember writing this short entry (I call it short because I usually write at least 2 pages in my journal) in a span of x-hours. I had nothing to do: I was unemployed then and although I've been accepted at San Beda to study law, start of classes was two long months away. I was also literally alone because my sister (who I am living with) had work and even though we had a housekeeper then, it's not like she was free of chores to spend time with me.

Anyway, that day, I probably stayed in bed all day as I struggled to be still and keep a quiet heart. At that time, I have already developed a habit of only writing in my journal when I am consumed by the urge to do so. And when I do write, I write in between long periods of thinking. Keeping a record of the desert year was also a struggle because I didn't want to remember every pain I was feeling then for me to read and look back on. I was being careful of what I would like to read in the future so I thought long and hard and asked God for words to use.

Ahhh...it looks like I still can't explain myself well. But I pray that you get the picture: that I was broken when God, being God, followed his own timing and made me wait a long time (in men's eyes). BUT I am where I am now (a haggard but very content law student) because of him and only HIM. I came out of the desert year bruised and broken BUT I am mending. And I cannot and dare not take credit for all that He has done in me.

He broke me to teach me to rely on Him and only Him. Maybe that's what he's doing in your life as well. So hang in there dear friends. (:

If I must boast, I would rather boast about the things that show how weak I am. - 2 Corinthians 11:30

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”- Psalm 46:10

I can see it now :)

2011-05-23T00:45:00.000+08:00

This is not my son nor am I married already nor do I have a boyfriend or even a mere suitor right now. But I can see myself as a mother more clearly. And because of that, I will persevere, take care and look after the family I have now. ^_______^

i'm back

2011-04-24T21:51:00.000+08:00

In 2009 (my desert year), I made a blog using this server but with a different name: happyoars. I aimed to write encouraging things in that blog. I'd like to think that I succeeded - considering comments from my followers at that time. I even made a friend (I'd like to think of her as one) - Katia. I sort of promised to visit her blog even after I left. I'm ashamed to admit that I didn't get to keep that promise. Anyway, I'm back to following and hopefully, reading her blog once again. (You might consider following her as well. I like her lifestyle - from what I imagine based on her writings. . it's very inspiring. .very solemn. .very tranquil. It's the kind of life I'd like to have :D)

x X x

My good friend, Jonie, invited me to make a blogspot. Ha. I said I'd think about it. I must have done some fast thinking because, well, here I am. I'm back.

To my previous followers: I don't know if you can read this or even if my blog shows up again in your dashboard (i am still using my google account after all) but if you choose to follow my blog (again), thank you. And may I stay this time around. :D

To my would be-followers: Hello! I'm Casey. I'd like to blog about encouraging things as I did before. But this time, may I share more of my life (because I was very careful in keeping my privacy the last time I was here) to you all.

HAPPY EASTER! ! ! ^___^

attaché case

Hosanna

(/broken hearts)

Book Review: Blossoms of Friendship

Saudade

Peace At Last

Persistence in Prayer

And so it goes with God

A Time to Die

Whisper of the Heart

It's August

Still dream and all the wonder that you knew Will all come flying back to you. If you remember all the hope you left behind, Open up your heart and change your mind. Oh what you’ll find if you still dream.

It's been a while - a photoblog update :D

Lost and Found

Breaking my floral affair

Pressure

Strengths finder and understanding one's self

Celebrating January

Christmas in Hongkong (Day 1 Part 2)

Christmas in Hong Kong (Day 1 part 1)

Seohyun's frustration and mine

Psalm 27 (MSG)

Why do you write?

The Secret Room

when God broke me

I can see it now :)

i'm back

Still dream and all the wonder that you knew
Will all come flying back to you.
If you remember all the hope you left behind,
Open up your heart and change your mind.
Oh what you’ll find if you still dream.