Attached and Dating

Clothing and Sex

2010-01-03T23:08:00.000-08:00

To all my readers welcome to 2010, this year is going to be a great new year; I feel it in my bones, so put away all your fears of the last year and really make this one work for you.
So to start off the New Year I thought I would chat to some of my friends about sex and clothing and put forward some of there answers.
Think the only purpose clothes serve in a sack session is as an obstacle? Don't be too quick to strip — there are naughty things you can do with your threads that'll heat up a hookup.

Staying partially clothed builds anticipation and makes sex feel spontaneous, plus you can use clothing and accessories as props to enhance tactile sensations.
Try these inventive and tantalizing tips.
• Stand behind him, wrap your arms around his torso, and press against him. Then slide your hands into his boxers while kissing the back of his neck.
• Give him a long look at you in a bra, panties, and tall heeled boots. The vixenish-sweet combo majorly turns men on.
• Blindfold him with his tie. Blocking his sight heightens his other senses, and not knowing your next move will drive him insane (in a good way).
• While wearing a silky camisole, climb on top of him and slide your body all over his naked skin.
• Let him lick your breasts through a sheer bra, then pull down the straps one at a time to grant him full access.
• Whip off his belt, fold it in half, and playfully smack his butt.
• Gently bind his ankles together using your bra. When you restrict his movement, you get to be in control and he feels the thrill of being dominated.
• Unzip his pants, but don't pull them off. Instead, take his member out of the opening in his boxers and treat him to oral action. It'll give him a rush to have only this one sexy body part exposed.
• Have him place his hands or mouth down south while you're in undies. The fabric is a barrier (amping excitement), and his warm breath will feel amazing.
• Roll a smooth beaded necklace over his stomach or up and down his thighs and along his member to give him a soft, skin-tingling massage.
• Slip off your panties but keep your skirt on for girl-on-top sex.
• Fling open a front-closure bra right before climax. Setting your breasts free will send him tumbling over the edge.
• Sit on top of him while he's in his boxers or pants and you have on underwear or thin shorts. Grind back and forth against him for as long as you can, then ditch your undies and have sex.
• Don't let him remove his T-shirt during sex. Mid-orgasm, grab the fabric in the middle of his chest, twist it so it tightens around his torso and pull him close.
• Just push your underwear aside to have sex. The immediacy of it is hot — like you can't wait to have each other.

Trying different things in the bedroom keeps your sex life hot and spontaneous, the last thing you want is dull and boring sexual interactions as this will lead to less sex and more fighting.

Your Sexual Holiday

2009-12-20T21:35:00.000-08:00

Well it’s that time of year when things start to slow down and the uncomfortable reality of unwanted time spent with family comes knocking.
But if you have decided to go away for the festive holidays, here’s something to think about, weather you are going with friends, partners or by yourself you can spice up you holiday and really make it something to remember.

They have many names: adult, sex or singles' holidays. Unlike what we believe, the excitement doesn't come because of sex per se, but because of the sense of adventure and moral taboo that comes tagged with it.

A sex holiday is not just about hooking up with local girls, and is definitely not about paying to do 'it'. In fact, prostitution is a waste of a holiday as it can often be indulged in at home and may be even more unsafe in unknown parts of the world. A singles' vacation, instead, is about meeting interesting women or generally having fun with singles. (Of course, if it does come with a couple of one-night-stands, who's complaining, right?)

What to expect.

Everyone who sets out on a holiday of this kind has his reasons-an ex-girlfriend, a divorce or simply the want of a kinky adventure. Whatever your case, list down what it is you are looking for. Then tear off that list, and wipe all expectations off your mind. It helps to not covet anything, as a sex holiday is not a defined idea. "Adult tourism is a subtle part of the travel industry that is quite popular," says Jehan Driver, a young travel enthusiast and consultant who has a decade of experience in travelling and now organizes his own adventure trips.

"During my two-year adventure study in New Zealand, we conducted a group study which showed that nearly 60 per cent of backpackers have some kinky expectations out of their holidays," he says. "In New Zealand, there are tourism operators who offer bus tours around the country, which, even though not advertised as hedonistic, are seen to be so by the travelers on these tours," he adds.

Though some online tour operators do sell packages labeled 'Sex Holiday' in huge, bright, glittering fonts, the definition varies from nude beaches to 'escorts'. As a rule, be wary of tour companies who officially advertise the 'sex' factor on such tours. The best sex holidays are singles' vacations that give like-minded groups of men and women a common platform to mingle and have fun.

One, two, three, click!

A holiday like this is generally not sold off the shelf (at least, not openly!) as it touches the forbidden land of promoting 'prostitution'- which is legal in some countries and illegal in others. If you're the kind who doesn't have any qualms about prostitution, you may choose to go to countries where it's legal and safe, but do so at your own risk.

If you would rather avoid paying for sex (highly recommended), join a group where you are likely to find similar-minded women (or men, we are not judging!) to travel with. And there are plenty of such tours available. Google key words like 'adult holidays' and 'travel companion', to get to such websites.

Many tour companies design their itineraries for young, adventurous travelers looking to party together. There are no strict age groups, just a minimum age of 18 and no real male/female ratio. So you could end up with 60 per cent men on your tour group or 90 per cent women, depending on your luck.

Another interesting option to try out is a festival. Music festivals such as Glastonbury in the UK, Fuji Rock in Japan, Mardi Gras in New Orleans are score sports. An 'intellectual' approach works in cultural fests.

Whatever might be your way, go with an open mind and you might find more than what you are counting on!

World's top sex holiday destinations.

Like it kinky or plain fun? Here's where to head for any kind of adventure

Thailand Sun, sea, sand and sex.

There's plenty on offer from island hopping and beaches to lively nightlife and parties. One top destination for a sex-minded holiday is the Full Moon partying at Ko Pha Ngan, an alternative to the year round rowdiness of Koh Samui, just down south, mostly disguised under the label of 'spa' holidays.

Europe Continent of opportunities.

Cities like London, Paris, Amsterdam and Barcelona feature at the top of the list for holidays where one can grab enough opportunities. The Pigalle district on the north side of Paris, despite its sleazy reputation, has a vibrant nightlife and great food, other than the obvious of course! De Wallen, or the area also known as Rossebuurt in the heart of the oldest part of Amsterdam, is apparently the most visited Red Light district of the world. Barcelona has a good mix of it all-sun, sea, sand as well as culture and nightlife. In fact, Ibiza is the long-standing traditional sun-sea destination for all-night dance parties.

New Zealand Bungee jumping and lots of humping.

Queenstown is the hub of international travelers with its spectacular mountain scenery. It's also a great party town and with a backdrop of sun or snow, depending on the season. But if you want somewhere a bit more serene with sun and sea, head for the North Island and Auckland for great vibrant nightlife and a bit farther north to the Bay of Plenty for sea and water sports. Another place off the beaten track around this area is Hokianga, which boasts of the highest sand dune in the world for sand sledging. (And the ideal place for a quickie or a whole-day repeat show by the sea.)

South Africa hot and sexy in the sun.

Capetown is a great place to meet hot young guys and girls baking in the sun all year round, you can bake in the sun all day long and party in the many nightclubs scattered all up the beach.
The best part about South Africa is their prices, for the same price as a holiday in London, you can live like a King is S.A, some of the best wine routes and sea food can be yours for next to nothing.

Japan Offbeat and unusual.

If you're after more of an offbeat destination then try Tokyo and Kyoto in Japan with the 'geisha tours'-the discreet way of hooking up with a girl. Or head down to Okinawa for remote island hopping on un-spoilt beaches.

North America Retro fun in the sun.

Head down Route 1 from San Francisco, along the Big Sur Coast in California for a traditionally hippy destination with sun and sea. An added bonus is that you can surf to your heart's content. Make a final stop in Los Angeles.

PS: Don’t forget the camera and Cam recorder and if you would like to share your holiday adventurers with us and our readers please E-mail or attach a link to your photos and video and send them to attachedanddating@gmail.com
Happy Holidays.

How To Masturbate Better

2009-12-17T22:43:00.000-08:00

You may be wondering why you are reading this, you probably already think you know how to masturbate. Most people think they do. The truth is that everyone masturbates at some point or another in their life, some do it frequently, while others merely do it to release stress or out of boredom sometimes. The question is though, do you really know how to masturbate?

The basic definition of how to masturbate is when you use your hands or another object to pleasure yourself. A man can masturbate by rubbing their penis with their hands, or an object such as a pillow. A woman masturbates by rubbing the outside of their vagina or by inserting an object such as a vibrator into their vagina. Again, this is the basic way, but there are so many different ways to masturbate to make it that much more enjoyable for you.

A new way to masturbate for a man could be the bend, pull, and squeeze. It may sound painful, but you need to try more fun ways to masturbate, so give it a chance. You merely hold your penis at the bottom while using a well lubricated hand to pull up squeezing with a little bit of pressure, and bending the shaft to the left or the right. You want a firm grip, but not too tight that it would be painful.

A new way to masturbate for a woman is the slip ‘n’ slide. You wrap a bunched up towel with saran wrap and then lubricate with a safe type of oil. Place it tightly between your legs along with a few pillows under it, and squeeze very tightly with the saran wrapped towel almost working its way into your vagina. The rocking motion as you go back and forth will give you a serious orgasmic experience.

There are so many fun ways to masturbate; you just have to find them. Use your imagination and just about anything you have in your home or in your mind can be used in some form. Items such as kitchen utensils suddenly have new meaning for women, just as broomsticks suddenly look very inviting for men. You can try both “regular” masturbation, or may you want to attempt anal masturbation either at the same time or by itself. Make an effort at finding out how to masturbate in a new and creative way to bring even more pleasure and excitement to your private moments.

Masturbation Techniques
Masturbation is defined as sexual stimulation usually done to one’s own genitals to the point of orgasm. It can be accomplished manually, which means using your own hand, or by the use of objects or tools. There are some people, particularly women, that can only achieve orgasm through masturbation and not through sexual intercourse. This is why you need to learn specific masturbating techniques that can be enjoyable and you can use often during sex or alone.

There are numerous masturbation techniques for men and women that will give you different feelings, or different orgasm outcomes. Male masturbation techniques range from the full fist grip to the more uncommon pole straddling masturbating technique. The full fist grip is the most basic and common masturbating technique that men use. All of the fingers and your thumb are wrapped around the penis and using an up and down motion you will eventually reach orgasm. Some vary this technique by using just the forefinger and thumb. This is particularly helpful if you have a sensitive penis area.

Here are some other techniques that men can try:

The Mushroom
when you hold your penis upright with one hand and gently rub the head with the other hand in a circular motion. Lubrication should be used.

The Campfire Method
Just think of rubbing a stick together to start a fire, and use that back and forth motion on your penis. Lubrication should be used.

The Backhanded masturbation
At first this may seem awkward, but you simply turn your hand around and use your index finger to stimulate parts you never knew you had.

The Interlocking Grip
Locking your hands together and move up and down to stimulate orgasm. Lubrication is recommended.

There are others that will be explained later, but those are four that you can start practicing with. Female masturbating techniques are a bit more varied and are quite numerous. They are influenced by a number of factors such as stroking or rubbing the clitoris, use of vibrators with the rubbing, and other objects or movements that can add additional excitement.

Here are some of the most popular female masturbation techniques:

Riding the Floor
Lie on the floor facing down, press your pubic bone to the floor, while rocking your body as if you are trying to crawl.

Making Up
Taking a makeup brush, making sure it is clean and dry, and then use the fine bristles to stimulate the clitoris and the inner lips. You can also use a medium size paint brush or feathers.

Deep Penetration
Insert a finger deep in the vagina and place your other hand directly on the back of the hand that is inside. Hold tight and press your finger in while using your thumb to stimulate your clitoris.

Simple and Multiple
Simply take your finger and in a soothing motion rub gently around the hood of your clitoris. It is sensual and leads to multiple orgasms.

The best masturbation techniques are the ones that make you feel the most comfortable and give you the most pleasure. You should be daring and try as many as you see because ultimately you may find one specific technique that blows your mind.

Male Masturbation That Isn't Boring

Men have been masturbating basically since the dawn of time. In fact 99% of men masturbate, the other 1% lie about it. Although men and women both do it, men tend to think about it or plan it out more. Usually it is done in secret, maybe in the bathroom before work, or after the wife goes to bed. If you are lucky enough to live at home then you could masturbate all day long. Male Masturbation is usually about the final outcome, the intense pleasure that you know so well.

If you are getting bored with the basics of masturbation, then you should try some different male masturbation techniques. There are quite a few of them out there to give your hobby a new feel. One male masturbation technique that has been tried and enjoyed by man men is the Two Hands Full technique. It is a motion that is similar to milking a cow, the idea is to keep the motion going continuously by taking one hand and moving up, and follow right behind it with the other hand. It keeps the foreskin and testicles all the way up all the time so you have constant pleasure. You should use lubricant because of the fast motion, and it does take some practice but when it is done correctly you may never go back to the regular way.

Another different male masturbation technique is the pole straddling technique. Place a small pole or a broomstick between your legs and hold it steady while you masturbate. Moving up and down with your hips, you will find that as you are about to ejaculate your anus actually hugs the pole giving you an almost unbearable sensation. Again, this is one that you will have to practice before perfecting. It is worth it though.

Male masturbating techniques come in many forms and with different objects that can be involved. Here are just a few of the others:

One Top, One Bottom
Hold the top of your head with one hand, while moving your other hand down towards your testicles.

Packing Tape Technique
Wrap tape around your fingers and lubricate it to receive a whole new feeling of excitement.

Wringing It Out
Although it may look strange and painful, it is quite pleasurable. Take your penis and wring it out like you would a washcloth. Start slowly and use lubrication to avoid friction.

Glass Ball Technique
Move to the end of the bed so your testicles hang off. Place a glass underneath and let your balls fall into a tight fitting glass. Ejaculate like you normally would, pushing the glass with your testicles in it up against your perineum for an ultimate orgasm.

Again, there are many variations of techniques that can be used. Take your time and find something you like. One very important male masturbation tip to follow is to try to use the stop and go method while masturbating. Masturbate till you are just about to ejaculate and then stop for a few minutes, and then start again until you are right about to have your orgasm, and then stop again. By the time you reach the 3rd or 4th time your orgasm with be more intense and longer.

Male masturbation can be an exciting new adventure if you try different techniques. Don’t feel you have to stay with the same thing you did when you were 16 years old. Yes, it may feel good, but new techniques will feel unbelievable.

Female Masturbation for the Uninhibited

The most important thing to remember for effective female masturbation is to enjoy yourself. It sounds like common sense, but many women are uncomfortable or feel dirty when they masturbate. Some don’t do it all. Can you imagine life without the simple pleasure of masturbating? If you think you can then you need to read these masturbation techniques and tips that just may make you change your mind.

You can always start with the basic female masturbation techniques such as the clitoral roll. This is when you take your finger and thumb and gently roll your clitoris in a circular motion. You start slowly and increase the motion until you reach the right speed for your orgasm to occur. Another oldie but goodie is circling the clitoris. Place two fingers directly on the clitoris, and then rub in a circular motion around and around. You will eventually hit your sweet spot and bring yourself to orgasm quickly.

Double stimulation is always a favorite female masturbation technique. While inserting one or two fingers in the vagina, use your other hand to play with, rub, or tap your clitoris. This is one orgasm that might just send you over the edge. Another unbelievable orgasm comes in the shower. Find a comfortable position whether laying or standing with one leg up on the side, and take your shower head to explore your vagina. Using different streams of water and levels of pressure, wander around and try to find what spot works for you.

Some female masturbation tips that may work for you are:

Warm baths
Allow plenty of time
Lubrication
Feel your whole body, not just your vagina
Use toys and sex objects to enhance the orgasm

Kegel exercises
Tightening your vaginal muscles each day will help to build intensity and extend the orgasm length

For something different try taking a warm washcloth and putting Vaseline on it. When you rub it back and forth on your clitoris it is sure to get you aroused and cause orgasm. Also, you may want to try the silk ribbon or stocking approach. Put your hand in each foot of the stocking and rock the stocking back and forth and work it into your vulva area. It stimulates the clitoris in way that you may not ever have felt.

Female masturbation is about the love of your body, the experience of pure pleasure. You should relish in the fact that women have such wonderful almost secretive parts of their body that they can explore on a regular basis.

Enjoying Mutual Masturbation

After reading this, you will quickly realize that you never need to masturbate alone again. Mutual masturbation is a very intimate experience that is done with two people in the room. Whether it is done separately or by helping each other doesn’t really matter, it is just the point of being together that can enhance any mutual masturbation experience.

Some couples enjoy watching each other to see what the other person’s expressions are, or what technique they use to give them the most pleasure. You shouldn’t feel threatened by the self satisfaction that they are feeling. It doesn’t mean that they don’t like sexual intercourse with you or get a better feeling by themselves, it is just that satisfying yourself gives you a different type of feeling or rush. Sometimes it is simply because one partner is not in the mood to have sex but wants to watch their partner enjoy the arousal that they get by masturbation.

There are plenty of mutual masturbation techniques that can be enjoyed together also. Touching the mans testicles while he performs masturbation adds more pleasure to his orgasm, just like a man inserting his finger into a woman’s vagina will stimulate her more while she is rubbing her own clitoris. Even something as easy as touching the persons thigh or leg, or for women have the man caress your breast will inspire you to orgasm much quicker or with more intensity.

Mutual masturbation tips for couples are to be comfortable with each other. You should discuss your masturbation needs and desires before you actually work together to achieve orgasm. If one person doesn’t feel comfortable with mutual masturbation then it won’t be a good experience for either party. You need to calm any anxieties one person might have about their role in mutual masturbation, as well as quell any thoughts that they might not be performing up to expectations during sexual intercourse. Done in the presence of your partner the act of masturbation is pleasing and adds a level of intimacy that you might not have during sexual intercourse.

Mutual masturbation can include toys, pornography, erotica, as well as anything that is agreeable and enjoyable. In this time of pleasure you should work together to achieve what is so natural to both of you. Use each other or yourself to satisfy your partner, and benefit from their looks, their passion, and their emotions. Mutual masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of, or thought of as wrong. It is a way to experience something with your partner that can keep your sex life active and exciting.

Masturbation Tips You Need To Know

Let’s get one thing out of the way first, no two people masturbate the same way every time. Everyone has different techniques to use, or different times of the day even. One thing is for certain though, the goal is always the same. Reaching orgasm is essential for enjoyable masturbation. If you are having problems reaching orgasm then you should follow these masturbation tips.

One masturbating tip you should follow always is to set the mood. In order to really enjoy the experience you should be totally relaxed and in an environment in which you won’t have any distractions. Take the phone off the hook, lock the doors, and play some soft music, anything that helps you to take your mind off of your problems and enjoy what nature has to offer.

Taking a little time off to pleasure yourself is not selfish, nor wrong. Select a room in which you can lie down, or sit comfortably, and let your inhibitions go. Usually people use a bathroom or bedroom, but any room that lets you be yourself will do. Another masturbating tip for both women and men is to take your time. Many people rush through the experience to reach the final result. That is not always the most pleasurable part of this experience. If you take the time to tease, and stimulate you will find your orgasm much more intense and enjoyable.

A masturbating tip for both men and women is to not be afraid to experiment with new techniques. Some may work for you while others may not. Try something new when given a chance so that you can find a way that makes it easier or more pleasing. Maybe you feel that it may work better with lubricant or toys. Then take the chance and try it, go right over to the sex store that you pass by and buy something to enhance your experience and your orgasm.

Try turning off the porn for a while – men, I’m talking to you. Listen to your body instead. A great tip on better masturbation is to experience the feelings. Many men are so intent on watching what is on TV that they are not using their mind, body, and emotions to really feel what is going on.

Last but not least, get your hips and your body moving. You aren’t being watched or evaluated so let your body go. Enjoy what is happening to your body. You may not know that your body moves very differently during masturbation than how it moves during sex. Men, who usually stay still, should try thrusting their hips to simulate sex.

Following these masturbation tips will allow creativity, pleasure, excitement and an all around better orgasm. Who would want that?

Understanding Homosexuality

2009-12-17T21:31:00.000-08:00

Homosexuality is the romantic or sexual attraction or behavior among members of the same sex, situationally or as an enduring disposition. As a sexual orientation, homosexuality is considered to lie within the heterosexual-homosexual continuum of human sexuality, and refers to an individual’s identity based on those attractions and membership in a community of others who share them.

The prevalence of homosexuality is difficult to determine accurately; studies suggest between ten and twenty percent of the population exhibit some degree of homosexual sensibility, though in many cultures homosexual relations have been prevalent. Homosexuality is widely encountered in the animal kingdom. Throughout history, individual aspects of homosexuality have been admired or condemned according to various societies' sexual norms.

When praised, those aspects were seen as a way to improve society; when condemned, particular activities were seen as a sin or a disease, and some homosexual behavior was prohibited by law. Since the middle of the 20th century homosexuality has been gradually delisted as a disease and decriminalized in nearly all developed countries. However, the legal status of homosexual relations varies widely by country and there remain jurisdictions in which certain homosexual behaviors are crimes with severe penalties including death.

Many homosexual people hide their feelings and activities out of fear of disapproval or aggression; they are commonly said to be closeted. Disclosing one's homosexual or bisexual orientation is known as coming out (of the closet). Efforts toward emancipation of homosexuality as it is currently understood began in the 1860s; since the mid-1950s there has been an accelerating trend towards increased visibility, acceptance, and civil rights for lesbian, gay and bisexual people.

Nevertheless, heterosexism and homophobia persist, and in particular young people subjected to it are at greater risk of socialization difficulties including suicide. Currently the most common adjectives in use are lesbian for women and gay for men, though some prefer other terms or none at all.

In the past, it could be said that talking to your teens about sexuality was relatively straightforward. These discussions normally centered on the average heterosexual relationships without any reference to alternative sexualities such as homosexual and bisexual orientations. However, it is imperative in modern society to teach our children about alternative sexual orientations and tolerance of those differences.

Gay teens are one of the most disadvantaged and vulnerable groups in society, facing the pressure and dangers of gay bashing' and other forms of homophobic bullying. There is a threefold likelihood of lesbian or gay teens being bullied than other youth.

These pressures in turn lead to a higher incidence of social isolation, alcohol and drug abuse, family problems, and low self esteem than their peers.

There is a relatively common belief that someone who is gay must have suffered some sexual trauma or has been influenced to make this decision by a gay adult. This is a myth as neither of these things influences sexuality. In the past, many have felt the need to hide their homosexuality and have lived their life feeling as though they are living a lie. However, in more recent times, teens are coming out' much more often and at a younger age.

Talking to parents about their sexuality can sometimes be difficult, if not seemingly impossible. If they have heard anti-gay conversations between their parents or others close to them, this may contribute to their fear. In some situations, these youth run away from home because they feel that they cannot deal with the reaction of their parents.

There are also many gay teens that are forced out of their homes by parents who are unable to deal with their teen's sexuality. Even for those who remain at home, the tension that occurs when the teen comes out' can push relationships between the parents and the child beyond breaking point. This can lead to verbal or even physical violent eruptions between both parties, leading to severe relational breakdown. The trauma of this resistance to the teen's sexual identity can be emotionally devastating. This resistance may be particularly high in parents who have been raised with the conviction that homosexuality is always wrong.

Becoming a teenager is already a big deal regardless of whether the person is heterosexual or homosexual but for the gay teen, the issues are far more frightening. Often, the teen is already having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that he or she is homosexual and is already fearful of peoples' intolerance of them. The ultimate rejection by their parents on the basis of gender issues leaves the person feeling totally confused and isolated.

The incidence of suicide among gay teens is around three times that of their heterosexual counterparts though sexuality and gender issues are not in themselves, seen as a risk factor for suicide. However, the feelings of isolation and of being different can drive many to suicidal behavior.

Perhaps the difference in acceptance of homosexuals could begin in what we teach children in earlier years. After all, bigotry is something that is learned from a young age. Make your children aware that any form of hatred and discrimination is unacceptable and instill these values as early as possible.

When discussing sexuality with your children, explain that homosexuals have not choice and that they need to be respected as people just as anyone else does.

Let's do what we can to stop contaminating the minds of our young and causing the discrimination against other people, whether based on race, religion, or sexual orientation.

Gay teenagers need empathy from those around them and from their healthcare provider. Otherwise, they may feel isolated and worthless, thus pressuring them into taking risks with their sexual health. Having sex with someone of the same gender does not eliminate the risks of sexually transmitted diseases and gay teens need to be aware of this and comfortable enough to discuss these problems with their doctor without fear of prejudice.

Becoming a teenager is a huge milestone for both teenagers and parents and it is particularly so when the teenager is gay. As parents, it is important to reassure the teenager that being gay really is okay and that, regardless of their sexual identity, you love them anyway.

Though the gay community has gained some civil rights over the years, it is important to continue the fight to erode the conservative views on gay issues. Only then can the gay community have the same freedoms as their heterosexual counterparts.
The American Psychological Association, the American Psychiatric Association, and the National Association of Social Workers state:

“ Sexual orientation refers to an enduring pattern of or disposition to experience sexual, affectional, or romantic attractions primarily to men, to women, or to both sexes. It also refers to an individual’s sense of personal and social identity based on those attractions, behaviors expressing them, and membership in a community of others who share them. Although sexual orientation ranges along a continuum from exclusively heterosexual to exclusively homosexual, it is usually discussed in terms of three categories: heterosexual (having sexual and romantic attraction primarily or exclusively to members of the other sex), homosexual (having sexual and romantic attraction primarily or exclusively to members of one’s own sex), and bisexual (having a significant degree of sexual and romantic attraction to both men and women).

Sexual orientation is distinct from other components of sex and sexuality, including biological sex (the anatomical, physiological, and genetic characteristics associated with being male or female), gender identity (the psychological sense of being male or female), and social gender role (adherence to cultural norms defining feminine and masculine behavior).

Sexual orientation is commonly discussed as a characteristic of the individual, like biological sex, gender identity, or age. This perspective is incomplete because sexual orientation is always defined in relational terms and necessarily involves relationships with other individuals. Sexual acts and romantic attractions are categorized as homosexual or heterosexual according to the biological sex of the individuals involved in them, relative to each other.

Indeed, it is by acting – or desiring to act – with another person that individuals express their heterosexuality, homosexuality, or bisexuality. This includes actions as simple as holding hands with or kissing another person. Thus, sexual orientation is integrally linked to the intimate personal relationships that human beings form with others to meet their deeply felt needs for love, attachment, and intimacy. In addition to sexual behavior, these bonds encompass nonsexual physical affection between partners, shared goals and values, mutual support, and ongoing commitment.

Consequently, sexual orientation is not merely a personal characteristic that can be defined in isolation. Rather, one’s sexual orientation defines the universe of persons with whom one is likely to find the satisfying and fulfilling relationships that, for many individuals, comprise an essential component of personal identity.

Choice vs. innate

The American Psychological Association, American Psychiatric Association, and National Association of Social Workers state:

“ Sexual orientation has proved to be generally impervious to interventions intended to change it, which are sometimes referred to as “reparative therapy.” No scientifically adequate research has shown that such interventions are effective or safe. Moreover, because homosexuality is a normal variant of human sexuality, national mental health organizations do not encourage individuals to try to change their sexual orientation from homosexual to heterosexual. Therefore, all major national mental health organizations have adopted policy statements cautioning the profession and the public about treatments that purport to change sexual orientation. ”

The American Academy of Pediatrics states:

“ The current literature and most scholars in the field state that one’s sexual orientation is not a choice; that is, individuals do not choose to be homosexual or heterosexual. ”

Sexual orientation change efforts
Main article: Sexual orientation change efforts
Major US, UK and Australian professional and scientific organizations regard attempts to change people's sexual orientation as potentially harmful, while fringe groups, often motivated by religious beliefs, believe change is possible, or homosexual attraction diminished, for those who cannot accept their sexual orientation.

The Royal College of Psychiatrists states that it "shares the concern of both the American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association that positions espoused by bodies like the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH) in the United States are not supported by science. There is no sound scientific evidence that sexual orientation can be changed. Furthermore so-called treatments of homosexuality as recommended by NARTH create a setting in which prejudice and discrimination can flourish," and added that "The best evidence for efficacy of any treatment comes from randomized clinical trials and no such trial has been carried out in this field."

10 Ways To Better Your Sex Life

2009-12-15T23:23:00.000-08:00

A good sex life takes time and effort to maintain. It won’t always be easy -- our busy lives are taxing and often leave us tired and devoid of the imagination and motivation required to keep up the pace. Having good sex doesn’t necessarily mean spending hours and hours of frolicking, it can be as simple as doing something a little different just for a change.

Women are cyclic creatures, and her sex drive will vary depending on her hormones and what’s going on in her life. Sometimes it takes a bit longer to get her hot and the same-old song and dance may not be enough. This applies to you too.
Therefore, it's important to add a few more stimulating aspects to your sex life to keep things interesting.

Here are 10 tips for better sex, which should keep the two of you hot for some time to come.

Number 10
Blindfold her

Sexual pleasure has many dimensions, but the most important sexual organ we have is our brain. When one sense is hindered, our other senses -- via the brain -- clamor to compensate. For example, a deaf person has increased sensory awareness -- sight, smell, touch, and vibrations. For No. 10 entry on our 10 tips for better sex guide, we're telling you that you can tap into this innate ability of ours and use it to your advantage: Blindfolding your partner increases her sensory awareness. She doesn’t know where you are or what you are going to do next. This creates anticipation for better sex -- the tease. Tease her mercilessly with sensory objects, such as a feather or your tongue. Start off softly, as this excites her nerve endings and makes them far more sensitive. Be careful not to over stimulate the nerve endings, however, because after a while the neurons stop firing with such intensity and the sensation becomes null and void.

Number 9
Give her instructions

After a while you may think you know how to please your partner in every way, but this is very rarely true. There is always something you haven’t tried, and there is bound to be something one of you always does that could be done differently.

To combat this for better sex, have a lesson session in which you don’t think you know it all, and are at each other's mercy as teacher. Talk about things you haven’t tried, but would like to, then choose one suggestion from each partner, and get down and dirty. We often get caught thinking we know what our partners like, and after a while it becomes "the way it’s done." Lose this myth and put yourself in the student's chair for a while for better sex you won't regret.

Number 8
Massage

Sensual touch is one of the most highly relaxing and sexy things you can do for your partner, which is why it makes it onto our 10 tips for better sex list. Our bodies are almost without exception tense in some area, if not many areas. This hinders our energy flow -- including sexual energy flow. Imagine a car that has a clogged fuel filter: the fuel (our energy) can’t get to where it needs to go quickly and smoothly, and the car performs inefficiently and ineffectively.

A relaxing sensual massage can unlock her body to some very intense orgasms and much better sex in the end. The ability to relax your partner in this way should be high on your list of skills to master. The same goes for her: The difference between a deeply relaxing massage and a sensual massage is in the manner of touch -- you don’t want to relax her too deeply because she will probably fall straight to sleep.

The key to better sex in this case is to keep her senses alert, but her body relaxed. This means a firm touch, coupled with some sensory feather-light caresses. Once you've relaxed her major muscles -- shoulders and back -- work your way down to her buttocks. Strokes can then start to wander near to, but not on, her inner thighs, butt crease and vagina. Don’t forget her hands and feet -- there are thousands of nerve endings in our hands and feet that are very sensitive to touch. If you have no idea what a good massage feels like or how to perform one, spend some time in "lesson time" with your partner and learn what you both like or just run your hands all over her body -- all over. Don’t skip to the hot spots or you’ll ruin the effect.

Number 7
Have her dress up

Pretending to be something you're not comes easily to some people. However, it has its benefits when done for fun. Stepping out of the role of being "yourself" can be a fun way to give each other permission to behave differently for better sex. Playing the role of someone else during sexual play is a very enjoyable way to give your partner some different sensations, and try things that you haven’t done before. Role playing is a great way to have better sex and to have fun with your partner in a light-hearted but sexy way. It is often the woman who does the dressing up simply because A) They enjoy it; and B) They have the resources of clothes, underwear and makeup -- but don't forget that you can play too..

Number 6
Tell her your fantasies

Talking about your fantasies with your partner is a very conducive form of sex play. It increases communication with your partner, which is of great importance, as well, it also helps you get to know each other better for better sex. Yes, you may be surprised by what comes out of her mouth, but this works both ways. Keep it light at first and don’t throw her in the deep end with fantasies about people you both know or reveal fetishes you aren't sure about. Sit back with a glass of wine and keep your clothes on -- for now. Fantasy play can also be incorporated into a game for better sex. Use your imagination, and keep it sexy. Take it in turns and see where it leads you.

Number 5
Play a game

Get a pack of cards and play strip poker for better sex. It may seem like something you would have done when you were in high school (given the opportunity), but adult strip poker is a good way to get naked. Once you are both naked (or nearly naked), you can start on the really fun part: A loss means the other person gets to choose what action is performed on them by the loser.

Time limits like one minute on said action means that it is a prolonged game of seduction, which by the end will have you both clamoring to be both the winner and the loser. There are many other games you can play "strip" to, as long as there is regular winner and loser to reward and punish respectively. The great part about these games is that you can both ask the other person to do something in a certain way that you may not necessarily have ever done before. It can get rather filthy, and definitely lead to better sex in the end.

Number 4
Dirty talk

Talking dirty has turned people on for millennia and will continue to do so because it has something other sex play doesn’t: words. Because our brains are our largest sexual apparatus, we respond to the spoken word automatically -- especially when someone says our name. The spoken word evokes emotions, sensations and blood flow to various regions, depending on the topic.

This works very much in your favor when it comes to talking dirty to your lover because women are especially susceptible to what goes in their ears (and I don’t mean cotton buds or ear candles). Talking dirty is, however, an art form and when done badly can result in fits of giggles (which, lets face it, ain't so bad but isn't quite the goal here). Don’t let this deter you.

For better sex, start off easy with neutral dirty-talk topics, such as how you feel inside her, how much you are enjoying the act and what you would like to do to her next. Don’t get too carried away, but let it flow out of you. Dirty talk can be a bit daunting at first, if you are not used to verbalizing these things, so practice. You will see how she responds to you. Dirty talk also comes under the "encouragement" category -- when she sees that you like something very much, she will be more interested in doing it more. The rawness of the sexual passion aroused with dirty talk is why it is so effective.

Be careful with swearing too much -- though a good dose of foul language is part and parcel with dirty talk (its not called dirty talk for nothing), too much swearing/name calling can be a turn off. Try to stick to positive words, and leave the commonly used insult words out. Watch what you call her body parts too -- just make sure she can handle it before launching into your tirade of filth. Chances are, the passion from you will ignite hers two-fold.

Number 3
Try a new position

You already know how to bring her to orgasm in two ways (probably). You repeat these regularly because they work -- there's no harm in that. However, if you never, ever try any new positions again, how will you ever know? New positions need a reasonably high level of arousal in your lover, so choose your time to strike a new pose when she is quite obviously feeling very randy.

There is no limit to the number of ways to have sex, so you can use your imagination and come up with as many weird and wonderful inventions as you desire. Simply changing locations can dramatically change the position, so consider this too (for example on top of the washing machine, on a bench, beanbag or table).

Number 2
Use a cock ring

Cock rings slow the drain of blood out of your erection, and keep you harder for longer. A very hard penis stimulates a woman’s insides slightly differently -- and much better -- than one that is getting soft around the edges. Cock rings are inexpensive and usually nice to look at, and make an interesting male sex toy to add to your collection. Cock rings ensure that you can maintain the pace without faltering for better sex. This is very pleasing to your lady friend.

Number 1
Try a new place

Sex in a new locale is definitely up there in exciting things to do for better sex. You can take a drive somewhere secluded where you can get a bit risqué. Try a public place (not too public) or simply move to a different room or area in your home -- or even someone else’s home. Whatever tickles your fancy. There are a million and one different places to have sex other than your home, in your bed -- use them.

Increase your pleasure
The list of helpful hints you have been presented with equates to a very good head start to a better sex life. The time and energy required to plan your adventures will pay off immediately, but also over the longer term. You will be rewarded according to the effort you put in with a great new skill set, and of course better sex. Make time, conserve some energy for it and relax. Life is short!

Addicted to bad relationships

2009-12-15T22:32:00.000-08:00

Do you often find that you involve yourself in relationships that disappoint you? Are you not getting what you need and desire from the people you choose to date? Does there always seem to be something missing? If you answered yes to one or all of those questions, you could very well be addicted to disappointing and bad relationships, setting yourself up for failure without even knowing it. There are ways you can determine whether you are addicted or not, and ways you can break the addiction and start getting what you have always wanted from a relationship.

Before we cover the symptoms of addiction, it is important that we cover the dangers of staying in a bad relationship. Since bad relationships lack what one or both partners' need, stress becomes a regular part of your life, as well a gradual lowering of your self-esteem, which will make you unable to focus on your career and personal life with the concentration and care needed, in order for you to be happy. The constant stress will produce chemical changes in your body that drain your energy and make you more eligible for physical illnesses.

Physical abuse in a relationship is obvious to cause a lot of physical harm, along with great psychological damage, but in spite of these facts, many people still choose to proceed with such relationships, finding themselves trapped and incapable of leaving. They find themselves depressed, on a search for some relief and unfortunately becoming depressed and possibly turning to drugs and alcohol.

So what are the symptoms of this addiction? Ignoring the truth would be one. If you truly know that the relationship you are in is making you unhappy but make no effort to exit from it, then you are in denial and are holding yourself hostage in a situation you do not have to be in. Making excuses for your partner's disappointing and bad behavior will keep you trapped and is another huge symptom of bad relationship addiction, especially if the excuses you produce do not back up the facts and are unrealistic.

If you do finally build up the courage to confront your partner to leave him or her but are overcome with fear and therefore back off from the confrontation, you are a high and sure victim of addiction because no matter what you attempt, you find yourself always giving in and holding on to what you know is bad for you. Suffering from both physical and mental discomfort once broken up, unless you get back together, is yet another symptom of addiction and should not be denied or ignored.

What causes addiction to bad relationships? There are several levels and everyone's addiction is different and varies. One common reason is the feeling and belief that if you end the relationship, you will never find anyone else who could possibly be interested in you or love you. You grow so attached to your partner that you forgot your life before him or her, making you feel fearful of being on your own and taking care of yourself.

Fear of criticism is another reason many people remain in bad relationships. They are afraid of what people will say, believing that ending a relationship means that they are a failure and being alone is unacceptable and terrifying. Other reasons may be financial support that you are receiving from a partner, making you feel that you should tolerate bad behavior from your lover, since they are supporting you.

Having a child together can also blind you or cause you to deny a bad relationship, making you feel guilty for leaving your child's mother or father. On a deeper level, you could be addicted to disappointing and bad relationships due to your upbringing or experiences as a child yourself. Perhaps you were not nurtured or loved enough and you now think it is normal to be neglected from love, care and understanding.

What should you do and how can you break a bad relationship addiction? Since this addiction is difficult and basically impossible for you to end on your own, counseling would be the best assistance for you. Find a counselor or service in which experts provide their services through, and take that first step in accepting the fact that you have an addiction and that you need and want help to conquer it. Start being a best friend to yourself and open the door to all the feelings you have kept locked up for so long.

Stay focused and encourage yourself frequently by setting a goal, and picturing yourself away from all the disappointment and closer to all the happiness and good health you need, desire and deserve as a person. Never give up and know that you are not alone. There are people who can help you, know how to help and will help you. Mainly, keep in mind that there will always be a person who will be by your side and never leave you, always giving you the strength, love and support you need... and that person is YOU.

A World Waiting To Die

2009-12-15T21:58:00.000-08:00

In an ever changing world one thing is constant, pregnancy in youths and STD’s.
In the last 30 years STD’s like AIDS has killed and infected more people than any other plague in modern history surprisingly this has not effected the mind set of our youth.

A study by the Columbia University Mailman School of Public Health and the Guttmacher Institute, found that there has been a 27 per cent drop in contraceptive use by teenagers, between 2003 and 2007.

In addition, the experts found that the levels of sexual activity among teens remained the same, and the birth rate has increased by 16 per cent. The study also reported that black teens demonstrated the most notable decrease in the use of birth control methods. All the figures include both the rate of contraception use as well as the types of contraceptives used, as different methods vary in their effectiveness.

Between 1991 and 2003, the use of condoms by teenagers increased, whereas their use of no contraceptive method dropped, resulting in a lower risk of pregnancy and to declines in teen pregnancy and childbirth. According to the current findings, teen condom use leveled off and in some cases even went down.

The study found that the change in teen's attitude towards contraceptive use is consistent with higher rates in the teen birth rate in 2006 and 2007 as reported by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and may be a precursor for further increases in teen pregnancies and births in 2008.

"After major improvements in teen contraceptive use in the 1990s and early 2000s, which led to significant declines in teen pregnancy and the spread of AIDS, it is disheartening to see a reversal of such a positive trend," Dr. John S. Santelli of the Columbia University Mailman School of Public Health, said in a statement. Dr. Santelli added that teenagers are still having sexual intercourse, but it appears that many of them are not taking the necessary precautions in order to protect themselves from unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases.

The study did not conduct an investigation on why these trends have taken place. But according to Dr. Santelli, it could be because of a number of factors, such as rising complacency about the AIDS epidemic and safe sex to protect against HIV. The expert also speculated that the recent increased focus on encouraging children to stay abstinent until they get married, rather than educating them about birth control methods, may also be at least partly to blame.

Now, this question remains highly controversial, and disputed by advocates of sex education programs that concentrate on abstinence. But the president Obama's administration has made an announcement recently that it plans to cut funding for such programs and only support those that have been proven to work. The authors of the study recommend that both the state and national levels should get involved in order to promote contraceptive use among teenagers by means of medically accurate sex education and increased access to health services. Researchers say that only this way the problem of teen pregnancy could be addressed in the most effective way.

I believe that this problem needs to be addressed at home; the days are long gone when we could keep our children in the dark about sex and leave it to the schools and government agencies to educate the youth about sex and the consequences.
We need to stand up and save our children once and for all, we know that teens are going to have sex and that there is nothing we can do about it, but we can give them contraceptives and the right education about sex.

Showing Some Leg On The Information Highway

2009-12-15T00:41:00.000-08:00

In relation to the article I wrote yesterday “The Liberated Women” I would like to take you down a dark reality of the web.
A few years ago I ventured into a Chatroom that had a young women that wanted to cyber with me, as I was much younger than I am today I felt as if it was a joke, but I went along for the ride anyway.

We chatted for about 20 minutes before she asked if I had a webcam. Which at that time I did not, anyway she asked me if I would like to watch her on her webcam instead of typing, so I agreed and plugged in my Mic as she switched on her cam, needless to say I had a very good chat that evening, I was happy and felt fulfilled and she seemed fare more exited than most of the women I had been with in the past years.

That was 10 years ago and much has changed since that night, Chatroom’s closed down and made way for social networks, dating left the bars and moved online and porn became something of an everyday occurrence.

So what happened to that girl with the webcam and the many others just like her?
Well cyber sex was such a hit 10 years ago that some smartass made the decision to make some money out of it, which is how sites like webgirlsonline.net and such came about, and as the years have changed more and more women and men have joined the ranks of live sex show via webcam.
To the point that now it’s a common thing to find collage girls paying there way though collage and university by running their own sites from home.

With prices ranging from $0.50 to $1.50 per minuet depending on which site you visit, it’s easy to see why these sites are making millions of Dollars every year.

So from a models point of view why do it?

•Depending on which site you join or how much you charge on your own site, these models are making about 35% to 100% commotion on every minuet they are with a client, with an average of 15 to 20 min per client. That works out to be about $30 every 20 minuets, work for about 4 hours a day and you have earned $120.00 that’s $2400.00 per month working 5 days a week. Beats working at a bar.

•Most of the guys and girls that do this kind of work get a kick out of knowing that someone they can’t see is watching them masturbate on screen.

•Safety is one of the biggest reasons for doing webcam sex shows, as your clients come from all over the world and you never have to meet them in person, if you don’t like the client you just switch off.

With answers like that it’s no wonder so many guys and girls are moving over to live sex shows rather than walking the streets.
But the real question is, is this a product of liberated women taking charge or a product of moral degeneration that seems to be seeping into every crack of our defective society?
So if you are thinking about joining these girls that are make thousands of $$$ i have found you a great site to join. good luck

The Liberal women

2009-12-13T22:51:00.000-08:00

Good morning my fellow readers.

This weekend I came to realization that what I know about women is very out dated. This was no surprise to me as I am a man in the 21st century and I have come to terms with the fact that I will never understand women the way they would like me too.

While surfing the web and doing some research this weekend I was amazed to find that blog after blog was about women, their sexuality and mostly about what gets them off, this was a great find for me as every day I learn something new about the fairer sex, what I did not expect to find was that half these blogs, where about the authors sex life, photos of the author nude or photos and videos of the author having sex, what was even stranger was that most of these women where in their 30’s and at least half of them where married.

As I’m very open to nudity and sex this did not bother me at all, to be honest I love that there are women out there enjoying their bodies and wanting to share it with others.
What did make me wonder was most of the women I know are very against public nudity, talking about sex in detail and they would never create a blog and have nude photos of themselves on it.

Am I missing something?

Are all the women I know lying to me about what they like or is it that some how I have found all the prudes in the world to become friends with?
On a daily basis I am ridiculed by the opposite sex because of my healthy interest in sex and nudity, I can’t help that I was brought up by a hippy mother that believed that sex and nudity was very natural and that exploring ones self was a healthy way of living, plus as I’m a amateur artist and I studied fine arts for 3 years of my life, the nude body has becomes something of great beauty to me not just some piece of flesh.

So my question to all the ladies out there is:
What do you like?
Would you share your most intimate moments with yourself with others and from what I have told you about my research today, what are your views on this subject?

Please don’t be shy as everyone that reads my blog are liberated from the daily conforms of society and would love to hear your thoughts and feelings on this topic.

If you happen to be one of these liberated ladies, please leave a message and a link to your blog plus you can scroll to the bottom of the page and upload a photo of yourself by E-mailing me.
Signing off until next time.

The Nice Side of Erotic Entertainment

2009-12-09T00:00:00.000-08:00

In these modern times there are so many activities that a couple or a group of friends can do, that some times we forget about the more erotic entertainment that we can take part in.
Erotic entertainment has been around for thousands of years and today makes up a large part of Sin tax.
But a lot of people have the wrong idea of what erotic entertainment is all about, it’s about fun and fantasy, nothing more and nothing less, when was the last time you and your partner when to a strip club?
Never, why?

If you are female you have been to a hens party, or a ladies night and you have enjoyed it, the same with men, going to a bachelors party or strip club with the guys is something that everyone has done at some point in there life.
The surprising thing is that more women and couples are going to these venues together, the reason is that as people open up to their true nature, more of them are realizing that they can enjoy these venues together and in most cases, can enhance their relationship rather than damaging it. Trust is the key, and if you have trust in your relationship then you can do anything.
So let’s look at what you and your partner or friends can do or watch.

Pole dancing

Pole dancing is a form of performing art, a combination of dancing and gymnastics. It involves dancing sensually with a vertical pole and is often used in strip clubs and gentlemen's clubs, a similar pole (Chinese poles) is used in cabaret/circus and stage performance in a non-erotic environment, the style and moves are very different.

Advanced pole dancing requires significant strength, flexibility and endurance. In a strip club setting, pole dancing is often performed less gymnastically and combined with striptease, Go-Go, and or lap dancing between performers. The dancer(s) may simply hold the pole, or use it to perform more athletic moves such as climbs, spins, and body inversions. Upper body and core strength are important to proficiency, which takes time to develop.

Pole dancing is now regarded as a recognized form of exercise and can be used as both an aerobic and anaerobic workout. Recognized schools and qualifications are being developed as pole dancing increases in popularity, with the overall sex appeal toned down.
Recently, pole dancing has caught on as a new and increasingly popular form of exercise, in which women (and sometimes men) use the pole as a workout prop. This form of exercise increases upper body strength (by using the body itself as resistance) while toning the body as a whole. Pole dancing as an exercise is very similar to Mallakhamb, an Indian men's sport with no erotic component, but there is no evidence of a link.

It is probable pole dancing started in America in the 1920's depression with dancers in traveling shows using a tent pole as a prop. The relationship to Chinese poles is unclear, Chinese troupes performed in Barnum and Bailey's circus from 1914 but they did not perform on poles.

Lap dance

A lap dance is a type of erotic dance performed in some strip clubs in which the patron is seated, and the dancer is either in immediate contact (contact dancing) with the patron, or within a very short distance. Depending on the local jurisdiction and community standards, lap dances can involve touching of the dancer by the patron, the patron by the dancer, neither, or both; the dancer may be naked, topless or fully clothed. Variant terms include couch dance which is a lap dance where the customer is seated on a couch, and bed dance where the customer lies down.

In some places a block session (usually half an hour to an hour) can be booked in the champagne room, where the dancer and the patron talk in an intimate setting and drink champagne together. The dancer might perform lap dances too, depending on the patron's wishes.
In many clubs, the duration of a lap dance is measured by the length of the song being played by the club's DJ. Charges for lap dances vary. Sometimes, sexual partners will perform lap dances for their partners as a teasing kind of foreplay.

Full-contact lap dances often involve non-penetrative sex where the stripper may rub her lap or genitalia (if naked) against the patron's. Local jurisdictions and community standards typically determine how much and where the patron can touch the dancer during the lap dance. In some cases, any touching by the patron is forbidden. On the other hand, absent any oversight by the club, various levels of contact may be negotiable between the participants.
Clubs vary widely with regard to whether they enforce their rules, or turn a blind eye to violations. Some patrons wear a condom before they enter the club: along with wearing pants that are very loose, this allows the man to have so called dry sex, while being safe.

Striptease

A striptease is an erotic or exotic dance in which the performer gradually undresses, either partly or completely, in a seductive and sexually suggestive manner. The person who performs a striptease is commonly known as a "stripper" or exotic dancer.
Stripteases have been known in some form in most cultures, from ancient Babylon and Egypt, to those of today.

In Western countries, the venues where stripteases are performed on a regular basis are now usually called strip clubs, though they may be performed in venues such as pubs (especially in the UK), theaters and music halls. In addition to night club entertainment, stripping can be a form of sexual play between partners. This can be done as an impromptu event or—perhaps for a special occasion—with elaborate planning involving fantasy wear, music, special lighting, practiced dance moves, and even dance moves that have been previously unpracticed.
Striptease involves a slow, sensuous undressing, with the audience urging the stripper to remove more clothing.

The stripper may prolong the undressing with delaying tactics such as the wearing of additional clothes or putting clothes or hands in front of just undressed body parts, such as breasts or between the legs. Emphasis is on the act of undressing along with sexually suggestive movement, rather than the state of being undressed. In the past, the performance often finished as soon as the undressing was finished, though today strippers usually continue dancing in the nude. The costume the stripper wears before disrobing can form part of the act. These could be fantasy themed: such as a schoolgirl uniform, maid's dress, policewoman's outfit, besides others.

Striptease and nudity have been subject to legal and cultural prohibitions and other aesthetic considerations and taboos. Restrictions on venues may be through venue licensing requirements and constraints and a wide variety of national and local laws. These laws vary considerably around the world, and even between different parts of the same country.
In the 1880s and 1890s, Parisian shows such as the Moulin Rouge and Folies Bergere were featuring attractive scantily-clad women dancing and tableaux vivants. In this environment, an act in the 1890s featured a woman slowly removed her clothes in a vain search for a flea crawling on her body.

The People's Almanac credits the act as the origin of modern striptease.
In 1905, the notorious and tragic Dutch dancer Mata Hari, later shot as spy by the French authorities during World War I, was an overnight success from the debut of her act at the Musée Guimet. The most celebrated segment of her act was her progressive shedding of clothing until she wore just a jeweled bra and some ornaments over her arms and head. Another landmark performance was the appearance at the Moulin Rouge in 1907 of an actress called Germaine Aymos who entered dressed only in three very small shells. In the 1930s the famous Josephine Baker danced semi-nude in the danse sauvage at the Folies and other such performances were provided at the Tabarin. These shows were notable for their sophisticated choreography and often dressing the girls in glitzy sequins and feathers. By the 1960s "fully nude" shows were provided at such places as Le Crazy Horse Saloon.

In America, striptease started in carnivals and burlesque theatres, and featured famous strippers such as Gypsy Rose Lee and Sally Rand. The vaudeville trapeze artist, Charmion, performed a "disrobing" act onstage as early as 1896, which was captured in the 1901 Edison film, Trapeze Disrobing Act. Another milestone for modern American striptease is the possibly legendary show at Minsky's Burlesque in April 1925: The Night They Raided Minsky's. The Minsky brothers brought burlesque to New York's 42nd Street. However the burlesque theatres here were prohibited from having striptease performances in a legal ruling of 1937 leading to the later decline of these "grindhouses" (named after the bump 'n grind entertainment on offer) into venues for exploitation cinema.

The sixties saw a revival of striptease in the form of topless go-go dancing. This eventually merged with the older tradition of burlesque dancing. Carol Doda of the Condor Night Club in the North Beach section of San Francisco is given the credit of being the first topless go-go dancer. The club opened in 1964 and Doda's première topless dance occurred on the evening of June 19 of that year. The large lit sign in front of the club featured a picture of her with red lights on her breasts. The club went "bottomless" on September 3, 1969 and began the trend of explicit "full nudity" in American striptease dancing. San Francisco is also the location of the notorious Mitchell Brothers O'Farrell Theatre. Originally an X-rated movie theater this striptease club pioneered lap dancing in 1980, and was a major force in popularizing it in strip clubs on a nationwide and eventually world wide basis.
In the seventies, with changing cultural expressions of sexuality and the influence of feminism, striptease declined in popular appeal and status.

In Britain in the 1930s, when Laura Henderson began presenting nude shows at the Windmill Theatre, London, the British law prohibited naked girls from moving. To get around the prohibition the models appeared in stationary tableaux vivants. The Windmill girls also toured other London and provincial theatres, sometimes using ingenious devices such as rotating ropes to move their bodies round, though strictly speaking, staying within the letter of the law by not moving of their own volition. Another example of the way the shows stayed within the law was the fan dance, in which a naked dancer's body was concealed by her fans and those of her attendants, until the end of her act in when she posed naked for a brief interval whilst standing still.

In 1942 Phyllis Dixey formed her own company of girls and rented the Whitehall Theatre in London to put on a review called The Whitehall Follies.
By the 1950s touring striptease acts were used to attract audiences to the dying music halls. Paul Raymond started his touring shows in 1951 and later leased the Doric Ballroom in Soho and opened his private members club,the Raymond Revuebar in 1958.This was the first of the private striptease members clubs in Britain. Changes in the law in the 1960s brought about a boom of strip clubs in Soho with 'fully nude' dancing and audience participation. Pubs were also used as a venue, most particularly in the East End with a concentration of such venues in the district of Shoreditch.

This pub striptease seems in the main to have evolved from topless go-go dancing. Though often a target of local authority harassment, some of these pubs survive to the present day. An interesting custom in these pubs is that the strippers walk round and collect money from the customers in a beer jug before each individual performance. This custom appears to have originated in the late 1970s when topless go-go dancers first started collecting money from the audience as the fee for going "fully nude". Private dances of a more raunchy nature are sometimes available in a separate area of the pub.

Striptease became popular in Japan after the end of World War II. When entrepreneur Shigeo Ozaki saw Gypsy Rose Lee perform, he started his own striptease revue in Tokyo's Shinjuku neighborhood. During the 1950s, Japanese "strip shows" became more sexually explicit and less dance-oriented, until they were eventually simply live sex shows.

Live Sex Shows

A sex show is a form of performance in which customers pay to see live persons appearing performing some type of sexual activity. The sexual performance may be autoerotic or with another performer and may be actual or simulated. Sex shows are distinguished from striptease in that the performers engage in real sexual activity rather than simply undressing and dancing nude.

Sex shows are also distinguished from prostitution in that the performer engages in sexual activity with another performer or masturbates themselves for the entertainment of a customer rather than engaging in sex with the customer directly. Sex shows, however, do overlap with other forms of sex work; some strip clubs and peep shows offer live sex performances, and some prostitutes offer sexual performances with other prostitutes among their services. It's usually common among voyeurs and "Pussy-Watchers".

The content of a sex show is often controlled by national and local legal, zoning, and licensing restrictions, particularly obscenity laws. Some areas allow striptease, but no sexual activity, others may allow only simulated sexual activity or autoerotic activity, while others allow anything that is legal in recorded pornography to be performed live. Generally speaking, autoerotic activity is the most common legally-available kind of live sexual activity, followed by lesbian performances, with male-female and male-male performances being featured in only a few cities throughout the world, notably Amsterdam’s Red Light District and Barcelona.
An increasingly common form of sex show are adult webcam performances in which the viewer is able to view and interact with sexual performers in real time, though the viewer and performer may be separated by wide geographical distances.

Sexual Sub-culture PART 2

2009-12-08T21:23:00.000-08:00

In Part 1, we had a look at the light hearted aspects of sexual sub-cultures, things like Swingers, Furries and the leather and latex communities.
In Part 2, we are going to look at the darker side of sexual sub-culture, now I’m not saying that what we are about to talk about is evil in anyway, and if done properly and safely can be a lot of fun.
So lets start.

BDSM sub-culture

BDSM is a compound acronym derived from the terms bondage and discipline (B&D, B/D, or BD), dominance and submission (D&s, D/s, or Ds), sadism and masochism (S&M, S/M, or SM).
BDSM includes a wide spectrum of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures. While not always overtly sexual in nature, the activities and relationships within a BDSM context are almost always eroticized by the participants in some fashion. Many of these practices fall outside of conventional sexual activities and human relationships.

Activities and relationships within a BDSM context are characterized by the fact that the participants usually take on complementary, but unequal, roles. Typically, participants who are active — applying the activity or exercising control over others — are known as tops or Dominants. Those participants who are recipients of the activities, or who are controlled by their partners, are typically known as bottoms or sub-missives. Individuals who move between top/dominant roles and bottom/submissive roles—either periodically within a relationship, or from relationship to relationship—are known as S/switches.

BDSM activities and relationships differ from conventional activities and relationships in that they are based on the concept of partners taking on deliberately unequal but complementary roles, in an eroticized - but not always sexual - context. I.G. Frederick's novel Dommemoir, for example, is a fictionalized story of one woman's quest for complete ownership and control of her male slave.

Beyond these basic tenets of eroticism, and of purposefully unequal roles within an activity or an interpersonal relationship, there is almost nothing which universally unites all the disparate subcultures which are grouped under the umbrella term BDSM. Interpersonal relationships which are based on the social conventions of one of the BDSM subcultures exist in marked contrast with the current Western ideal of such relationships being based on a partnership between equals.

While the terminology for these unequal roles varies widely within the various BDSM subcultures, Top and Dominant are widely recognized terms for those partner(s) in the relationship or activity which are respectively the physically active or controlling participants, and Bottom and Submissive are widely recognized terms for those partner(s) in the relationship or activity which are respectively the physically receptive or controlled participants. The interaction between Tops and Bottoms, where physical and/or mental control of the Bottom is surrendered to the Top - whether in the context of a short term encounter typically referred to as a scene, or in the context of a longer-term relationship - is sometime known as power exchange.

BDSM actions often take place during a specific period of time agreed to by both parties, referred to as "play," "a scene" or "a session." All parties involved usually derive pleasure from this, even though many of the practices that are performed, such as inflicting pain, humiliation or being restrained would be considered unpleasant under normal circumstances. Sexual intercourse, be it oral, anal or vaginal, may occur within a session, but is not essential.
The fundamental principles for the exercise of BDSM require that it should be performed by mature and responsible partners, of their own volition, and in a safe way.

Since the 1980s these basic principles have been condensed into the motto "Safe, sane and consensual", abbreviated as SSC, which means that everything is based on safe, sane and consenting behavior of all involved parties. This mutual consent makes a clear legal and ethical distinction between BDSM and crimes such as sexual assault or domestic violence.
Some BDSM practitioners prefer a code of behavior that differs from "SSC" and described as "Risk Aware Consensual Kink" (RACK), indicating a preference of a style in which the individual responsibility of the involved parties is emphasized more strongly, with each participant being responsible for his or her own well-being. RACK focuses primarily upon awareness and informed consent, rather than accepted safe practices.

Consent is the most important criterion here. The consent and compliance for a sadomasochistic situation can be granted only by people who are able to judge the potential results. For their consent, they must have all relevant information (extent to which the scene will go, potential risks, if a safe-word will be used, what that is, etc.) at hand and the necessary mental capacity to judge. The resulting consent and understanding is often summarized in a "contract", an agreement of what can and cannot take place.

In general, it must be possible for the consenting partner to withdraw his or her consent at any given time; for example, by using a safe-word that was agreed on in advance. Failure to honor a safe-word is considered the most serious misconduct that can take place in BDSM and can even change the sexual consent situation into a crime, depending on the relevant law, since the bottom has explicitly revoked his or her consent to any actions which follow the use of the safe-word.

Bondage and Discipline

Bondage and Discipline are two aspects of BDSM that do not necessarily relate to one another, but can appear jointly. The term "Bondage" describes the practice of restraining for pleasure. Bondage is usually, but not always, a sexual practice. While bondage is a very popular variation within the larger field of BDSM, it is nevertheless sometimes differentiated from the rest of this field. Studies among BDSM practitioners in the U.S. have shown that about half of all men find the idea of bondage to be erotic; many women do as well.

Strictly speaking, bondage means binding the partner by tying their appendages together; for example, by the use of handcuffs or by lashing their arms to an object. Bondage can also be achieved by spreading the appendages and fastening them with chains to a St. Andrews cross or spreader bars.
The term "Discipline" describes the use of rules and punishment to control overt behavior in BDSM. Punishment can be pain caused physically (such as caning), humiliation caused psychologically (such as a public flagellation) or loss of freedom caused physically (e.g. chaining the Bottom to the foot of a bed). Another aspect is the structured training of the Bottom.

Dominance and submission

"Dominance and submission" (also known as D&s, Ds or D/s) is a set of behaviors, customs and rituals relating to the giving and accepting of dominance of one individual over another in an erotic or lifestyle context. It explores the more mental aspect of BDSM. This is also the case in many relationships not considering themselves as sadomasochistic; it is considered to be a part of BDSM if it is practiced cognizantly. The range of its individual characteristics is thereby wide.

Strappado

Strappado uses rope and a spreader bar much like bondage, but this practice has a distinct effect of immobilization and pain. Examples of mentally orientated practices are education games, during which the dominant requires certain forms of behavior from the submissive. Special forms include erotic role-play like age-play, in which a difference in age, either real or enacted, formulates the background; or pet-play. Concerted deployed sexual rejection exercised on the partner can be an aspect of Dominance and Submission as well.

The most established and probably most cliché set form of dominance and submission is dominance and slavedom. These can be administrated for the short duration of a session among otherwise-emancipated partners, but also can be integrated into everyday life indefinitely. In a few relationships, it leads as far as total submission of one partner in the truest sense of the phrase total power exchange. Compensating elements of the total dominance and submission are care and devotion complementing one another, thus facilitating stable relationships. The consensual submission of the sub is sometimes demonstrated to others by symbols indicating his/her belonging to the dom, such as wearing a collar, special tattoos, piercings, a very short haircut or a bald head.

Occasionally, actual "slave contracts" are set out in writing to record the formal consent of the parties to the power exchange, stating their common vision of the relationship dynamic. Such documents have not been recognized as being legally binding. Contracts that are contra bonos mores (contrary to public morals) are generally illegal, and such contracts can even be constitutionally prohibited.

In Europe, such agreements may be contrary to Article 3 of the European Convention on Human Rights which grants a general freedom from "un-human or degrading treatment". This right had been held to be absolute and no limitations or derogations are permitted by the Convention. Nevertheless, the mere existence of such purported contracts has resulted in banner headlines in yellow press publications, and uninformed third parties seeing such information out of context are periodically led to rejecting and condemning the relationships they describe.

Sadomasochism

The term "Sadomasochism" is derived from the words "Sadism" and "Masochism" In the context of consensual sexual activities, sadism and masochism are not strictly accurate terms; there is a significant difference from the medical or psychological usage of both terms. Sadomasochism refers to the physical aspects of BDSM. Sadism describes sexual pleasure derived by inflicting pain, degradation, or humiliation on another person.

On the other hand, the masochist enjoys being bound, spanked or suffering within the consensual scenario. Sadomasochism does not imply enjoyment through causing or receiving pain in other situations (e.g. accidental injury, medical procedures). Discipline often incorporates sadomasochistic aspects. Sadomasochism is practiced in isolation relatively rarely, although certain practices BDSM can be performed solo, such as self-bondage and autoerotic asphyxia, but such practices can be dangerous, at times resulting in injury or death.

Sexual Sub-culture PART 1

2009-12-08T03:22:00.000-08:00

In sociology, anthropology and cultural studies, a subculture is a group of people with a culture (whether distinct or hidden) which differentiates them from the larger culture to which they belong. If a particular subculture is characterized by a systematic opposition to the dominant culture, it may be described as a counterculture.

Subcultures can be distinctive because of the age, ethnicity, class, location, and/or gender of the members. The qualities that determine a subculture as distinct may be linguistic, aesthetic, religious, political, sexual, geographical or a combination of factors. According to Dick Hebdige, members of a subculture often signal their membership through a distinctive and symbolic use of style, which includes fashions, mannerisms, and argot. They also live out particular relations to places; Ken Gelder talks about "sub-cultural geographies" along these lines.

So let’s have a look at some of the more commonly know sexual subcultures.

Swinging

Swinging, sometimes referred to as the swinging lifestyle, is "non-monogamous sexual activity, treated much like any other social activity that can be experienced as a couple." The phenomenon of swinging (or at least its wider discussion and practice) may be seen as part of the sexual revolution of recent decades, which occurred after the upsurge in sexual activity made possible by the prevalence of safer sex practices during the same period. Swinging has been called wife swapping in the past, but this term has been criticized as andocentric (taking a male-oriented point of view) and inaccurately describing the full range of sexual activities in which swingers may take part.

Swinging activities may include (but are not limited to):

Soft swinging: having sexual intercourse with a partner while two or more other people perform sex acts in the immediate vicinity.

Soft swap: having oral sex with someone other than one's partner.
Often a type of swinging that new couples choose before eventually trying full swap, although many couples stay "soft swap" for personal or safety related reasons.

Full swap: having penetrative sex with someone other than one's partner. Although this is the commonly understood definition of swinging, it is not necessarily the most common type.

Group sex: An all-inclusive term for activities involving multiple partners in the same vicinity.

Typically, swinging activities occur when a married or otherwise committed couple engages in sexual activity with another couple, multiple couples, or a single individual. These acts can occur in the same room (often called same room swinging) though different or separate room swinging does occur. On these occasions, swingers will often refer to sex as play and sex partners as playmates.
Occasionally, one party of a couple will not be interested in joining the swinging lifestyle. This party is typically referred to as the "hold-out" while the other party is referred to as the "desirous party". Thus, the "desirous party" is the one party of a swinging couple who seeks to be in the lifestyle as opposed to the other party who does not.

Furry fandom

Furry fandom (also known as furrydom, fur fandom or furdom) refers to the fandom for fictional anthropomorphic animal characters with human personalities and characteristics. Examples of anthropomorphic attributes include exhibiting human intelligence and facial expressions, the ability to speak, walk on two legs, and wear clothes. Furry fandom is also used to refer to the community of artists, writers, role players and general fans of the furry art forms who gather on the Internet and at conventions.

The general idea being a combination of human and non-human animal attributes. Even characters like Josie and the Pussycats are considered of interest to furry fandom, though they only wear costumes with animal ears and tails.

In recent years the Furry culture has gone one step further, the Furries have borrowed aspects from the swinging community and has started swinging and having singles and couples sex parties, whilst dressed up in animal or part animal costumes. ;)

Leather or Latex subculture

The leather subculture denotes practices and styles of dress organized around sexual activities and hedonistic eroticism ("kink"). Wearing leather or Latex garments is one way that participants in this culture self-consciously distinguish themselves from mainstream sexual cultures. Leather culture is most visible in gay communities and most often associated with gay men ("leathermen"), but it is also reflected in various ways in the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and straight worlds.

Many people associate leather or Latex culture with BDSM (Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sado/Masochism, also called "SM" or "S&M") practices and its many subcultures. But for others, wearing black leather and Latex clothing is an erotic fashion that expresses heightened masculinity or the appropriation of sexual power; love of motorcycles and independence; and/or engagement in sexual kink or leather fetishism.
Latex or PVC is most often associated with women rather than men, and comes in a verity of one piece Cat suites, skirts, Boob tubes, G-strings and thigh High Boots.

Association with BDSM

In recent decades the leather and Latex community has been considered a subset of BDSM culture rather than a descendant of gay culture. Even so, the most visibly organized SM community has been a subculture of the gay community, as evidenced by International Mr. Leather in the US (established 1979) and SM Gays in the UK (established 1981). Meanwhile, other subcultures have likewise appropriated various leather and Latex fashions and practices.
Leather, Latex and PVC sub-cultural practices have also become a common sight in the Gothic and Industrial community, though perhaps not as widespread.

Fighting Sexual Problems in Men

2009-12-06T23:01:00.000-08:00

A sexual problem, or sexual dysfunction, refers to a problem during any phase of the sexual response cycle that prevents the individual or couple from experiencing satisfaction from the sexual activity. The sexual response cycle has four phases: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution.

While research suggests that sexual dysfunction is common (43% of women and 31% of men report some degree of difficulty), it is a topic that many people are hesitant to discuss. Fortunately, most cases of sexual dysfunction are treatable, so it is important to share your concerns with your partner and doctor.

What causes sexual problems?

Sexual dysfunction can be a result of a physical or psychological problem.
Physical causes -- Many physical and/or medical conditions can cause problems with sexual function. These conditions include diabetes, heart and vascular (blood vessel) disease, neurological disorders, hormonal imbalances, chronic diseases such as kidney or liver failure, and alcoholism and drug abuse. In addition, the side effects of certain medications, including some antidepressant drugs, can affect sexual desire and function.
Psychological causes -- These include work-related stress and anxiety, concern about sexual performance, marital or relationship problems, depression, feelings of guilt, and the effects of a past sexual trauma.

Who is affected by sexual problems?

Both men and women are affected by sexual problems. Sexual problems occur in adults of all ages. Among those commonly affected are those in the geriatric population, which may be related to a decline in health associated with aging.

How do sexual problems affect men?

The most common sexual problems in men are ejaculation disorders, erectile dysfunction, and inhibited sexual desire.

What are ejaculation disorders?

There are different types of ejaculation disorders, including:

Premature ejaculation -- This refers to ejaculation that occurs before or soon after penetration.
Inhibited or retarded ejaculation -- This is when ejaculation is slow to occur.
Retrograde ejaculation -- This occurs when, at orgasm, the ejaculate is forced back into the bladder rather than through the urethra and out the end of the penis.
In some cases, premature and inhibited ejaculation are caused by a lack of attraction for a partner, past traumatic events and psychological factors, including a strict religious background that causes the person to view sex as sinful. Premature ejaculation, the most common form of sexual dysfunction in men, often is due to nervousness over how well he will perform during sex. Certain drugs, including some anti-depressants, may affect ejaculation, as can nerve damage to the spinal cord or back.

Retrograde ejaculation is common in males with diabetes who suffer from diabetic neuropathy (nerve damage). This is due to problems with the nerves in the bladder and the bladder neck that allow the ejaculate to flow backward and into the bladder. In other men, retrograde ejaculation occurs after operations on the bladder neck or prostate, or after certain abdominal operations. In addition, certain medications, particularly those used to treat mood disorders, may cause problems with ejaculation. This generally does not require treatment unless it impairs fertility.

What is erectile dysfunction?

Also known as impotence, erectile dysfunction is defined as the inability to attain and/or maintain an erection suitable for intercourse. Causes of erectile dysfunction include diseases affecting blood flow, such as atherosclerosis (hardening of the arteries); nerve disorders; psychological factors, such as stress, depression, and performance anxiety (nervousness over his ability to sexually perform); and injury to the penis. Chronic illness, certain medications, and a condition called Peyronie's disease (scar tissue in the penis) also can cause erectile dysfunction.

What is inhibited sexual desire?

Inhibited desire, or loss of libido, refers to a decrease in desire for, or interest in sexual activity. Reduced libido can result from physical or psychological factors. It has been associated with low levels of the hormone testosterone. It also may be caused by psychological problems, such as anxiety and depression; medical illnesses, such as diabetes and high blood pressure; certain medications, including some anti-depressants; and relationship difficulties.

How Are Male Sexual Problems Diagnosed?

The doctor likely will begin with a thorough history of symptoms. He or she may order other tests to rule out any medical problems that may be contributing to the dysfunction. The doctor may refer you to other doctors, including a urologist (a doctor specializing in the urinary tract and male reproductive system), an endocrinologist (a doctor specializing in glandular disorders), a neurologist (a doctor specializing in disorders of the nervous system), sex therapists and other counselors.

What tests are used to evaluate sexual problems?

Several tests can be used to evaluate the causes and extent of sexual problems. They include:

• Blood tests -- These tests are done to evaluate hormone levels.
• Vascular assessment -- This involves an evaluation of the blood flow to the penis. A blockage in a blood vessel supplying blood to the penis may be contributing to erectile dysfunction.
• Sensory testing -- Particularly useful in evaluating the effects of diabetic neuropathy (nerve damage), sensory testing measures the strength of nerve impulses in a particular area of the body.
• Nocturnal penile tumescence and rigidity testing -- This test is used to monitor erections that occur naturally during sleep. This test can help determine if a man's erectile problems are due to physical or psychological causes.

How is male sexual dysfunction treated?

Many cases of sexual dysfunction can be corrected by treating the underlying physical or psychological problems. Treatment strategies may include the following:

• Medical treatment -- This involves treatment of any physical problem that may be contributing to a man's sexual dysfunction.
• Medications -- Medications, such as Cialis, Viagra or Levitra , may help improve sexual function in men by increasing blood flow to the penis.
• Hormones -- Men with low levels of testosterone may benefit from hormone supplementation (testosterone replacement therapy).
• Psychological therapy -- Therapy with a trained counselor can help a person address feelings of anxiety, fear or guilt that may have an impact on sexual function.
• Mechanical aids -- Aids such as vacuum devices and penile implants may help men with erectile dysfunction.
• Education and communication -- Education about sex and sexual behaviors and responses may help a man overcome his anxieties about sexual performance. Open dialogue with your partner about your needs and concerns also helps to overcome many barriers to a healthy sex life.

Can sexual problems be cured?

The success of treatment for sexual dysfunction depends on the underlying cause of the problem. The outlook is good for dysfunction that is related to a treatable or reversible physical condition. Mild dysfunction that is related to stress, fear, or anxiety often can be successfully treated with counseling, education, and improved communication between partners.

Can sexual problems be prevented?

While sexual problems cannot be prevented, dealing with the underlying causes of the dysfunction can help you better understand and cope with the problem when it occurs. There are some things you can do to help maintain good sexual function:

• Follow your doctor's treatment plan for any medical/health conditions.
• Limit your alcohol intake.
• Quit smoking.
• Deal with any emotional or psychological issues such as stress, depression, and anxiety. Get treatment as needed.
• Increase communication with your partner.

When should I call my doctor?

Many men experience a problem with sexual function from time to time. However, when the problems are persistent, they can cause distress for the man and his partner, and have a negative impact on their relationship. If you consistently experience sexual function problems, see your doctor for evaluation and treatment.

Getting Over Female Sexual Problems

2009-12-06T22:58:00.000-08:00

A sexual problem, or sexual dysfunction, refers to a problem during any phase of the sexual response cycle that prevents the individual or couple from experiencing satisfaction from the sexual activity. The sexual response cycle has four phases: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution.

While research suggests that sexual dysfunction is common (43% of women and 31% of men report some degree of difficulty), it is a topic that many people are hesitant to discuss. Fortunately, most cases of sexual dysfunction are treatable, so it is important to share your concerns with your partner and doctor.

What Causes Female Sexual Problems?

Sexual dysfunction can be a result of a physical or psychological problem.

Physical causes: Many physical and/or medical conditions can cause sexual problems. These conditions include:

• diabetes,
• heart disease,
• neurological diseases,
• hormonal imbalances,
• menopause,
• chronic diseases such as kidney disease or liver failure, and
• Alcoholism and drug abuse.
• In addition, the side effects of certain medications, including some antidepressant drugs, can affect sexual desire and function.

Psychological causes: These include:

• work-related stress and anxiety,
• concern about sexual performance,
• marital or relationship problems,
• depression,
• Feelings of guilt, and the effects of a past sexual trauma.

Who Is Affected by Sexual Problems?

Both men and women are affected by sexual problems. Sexual problems occur in adults of all ages. Among those commonly affected are those in the geriatric population, which may be related to a decline in health associated with aging.

How Do Sexual Problems Affect Women?

The most common problems related to sexual dysfunction in women include:

Inhibited sexual desire: This involves a lack of sexual desire or interest in sex. Many factors can contribute to a lack of desire, including hormonal changes, medical conditions and treatments (for example cancer and chemotherapy), depression, pregnancy, stress, and fatigue. Boredom with regular sexual routines also may contribute to a lack of enthusiasm for sex, as can lifestyle factors, such as careers and the care of children.

Inability to become aroused: For women, the inability to become physically aroused during sexual activity often involves insufficient vaginal lubrication. The inability to become aroused also may be related to anxiety or inadequate stimulation. In addition, researchers are investigating how blood flow problems affecting the vagina and clitoris may contribute to arousal problems.

Lack of orgasm (anorgasmia): This is the absence of sexual climax (orgasm). It can be caused by sexual inhibition, inexperience, lack of knowledge, and psychological factors such as guilt, anxiety, or a past sexual trauma or abuse. Other factors contributing to anorgasmia include insufficient stimulation, certain medications, and chronic diseases.

Painful intercourse: Pain during intercourse can be caused by a number of problems, including endometriosis, a pelvic mass, ovarian cysts, vaginitis, poor lubrication, the presence of scar tissue from surgery, or a sexually transmitted disease. A condition called vaginismus is a painful, involuntary spasm of the muscles that surround the vaginal entrance. It may occur in women who fear that penetration will be painful and also may stem from a sexual phobia or from a previous traumatic or painful experience.

How Is a Female Sexual Problem Diagnosed?

The doctor likely will begin with a physical exam and a thorough evaluation of symptoms and a physical exam. The doctor may perform a pelvic examination to evaluate the health of the reproductive organs and a Pap smear to detect changes in the cells of the cervix (to check for cancer or a pre-cancerous condition). He or she may order other tests to rule out any medical problems that may be contributing to the problem.

An evaluation of your attitude regarding sex, as well as other possible contributing factors (fear, anxiety, past sexual trauma/abuse, relationship problems, alcohol or drug abuse, etc.) will help the doctor understand the underlying cause of the problem and make appropriate recommendations for treatment.

How Are Female Sexual Problems Treated?

The ideal approach to treating sexual problems in women involves a team effort between the woman, doctors, and trained therapists. Most types of sexual problems can be corrected by treating the underlying physical or psychological problems. Other treatment strategies focus on the following:

• Providing education. Education about human anatomy, sexual function, and the normal changes associated with aging, as well as sexual behaviors and responses, may help a woman overcome her anxieties about sexual function and performance.

• Enhancing stimulation. This may include the use of erotic materials (videos or books), masturbation, and changes to sexual routines.

• Providing distraction techniques. Erotic or non-erotic fantasies, exercises with intercourse, music, videos, or television can be used to increase relaxation and eliminate anxiety.

• Encouraging non-coital behaviors. Non-coital behaviors (physically stimulating activity that does not include intercourse), such as sensual massage, can be used to promote comfort and increase communication between partners.

• Minimizing pain. Using sexual positions that allow the woman to control the depth of penetration may help relieve some pain. The use of vaginal lubricants can help reduce pain caused by friction, and a warm bath before intercourse can help increase relaxation.

Can Sexual Problems Be Cured?

The success of treatment for sexual dysfunction depends on the underlying cause of the problem. The outlook is good for sexual problems that is related to a treatable or reversible physical condition. Mild dysfunction that is related to stress, fear, or anxiety often can be successfully treated with counseling, education, and improved communication between partners.

How Do Hormones Affect Sexual Function?

Hormones play an important role in regulating sexual function in women. With the decrease in the female hormone estrogen that is related to aging and menopause, many women experience some changes in sexual function as they age, including poor vaginal lubrication and decreased genital sensation. Further, research suggests that low levels of the male hormone testosterone also contribute to a decline in sexual arousal, genital sensation, and orgasm. Researchers still are investigating the benefits of hormones and other medications, including drugs like Viagra, to treat sexual problems in women.

What Effect Does a Hysterectomy Have on Sexual Function?

Many women experience changes in sexual function after a hysterectomy (surgical removal of the uterus). These changes may include a loss of desire, and decreased vaginal lubrication and genital sensation. These problems may be associated with the hormonal changes that occur with the loss of the uterus. Furthermore, nerves and blood vessels critical to sexual function can be damaged during the hysterectomy procedure.

How Does Menopause Affect a Woman's Sexual Function?

The loss of estrogen following menopause can lead to changes in a woman's sexual functioning. Emotional changes that often accompany menopause can add to a woman's loss of interest in sex and/or ability to become aroused. Hormone replacement therapy or vaginal lubricants may improve certain conditions, such as loss of vaginal lubrication and genital sensation, which can create problems with sexual function.

It should be noted that some post-menopausal women report an increase in sexual satisfaction. This may be due to decreased anxiety over getting pregnant. In addition, post-menopausal woman often have fewer child-rearing responsibilities, allowing them to relax and enjoy intimacy with their partners.

When Should I Call My Doctor?

Many women experience a problem with sexual function from time to time. However, when the problems are persistent, they can cause distress for the women and her partner, and can have a negative impact on their relationship. If you consistently experience these problems, see your doctor for evaluation and treatment.

Trend setting with online dating

2009-12-02T00:42:00.000-08:00

Online dating or Internet dating is a dating system which allows individuals, couples and groups to make contact and communicate with each other over the Internet, usually with the objective of developing a personal romantic or sexual relationship. Online dating services usually provide un-moderated matchmaking over the Internet, through the use of personal computers or cell phones.

Online dating services generally require a prospective member to provide personal information, before they can search the service provider's database for other individuals using criteria they set, such as age range, gender and location. Most sites allow members to upload photos of themselves and browse the photos of others. Sites may offer additional services, such as webcasts, online chat, telephone chat (VOIP), and message boards. Some sites provide free registration, but may offer services which require a monthly fee. Other sites depend on advertising for their revenue.

Many sites are broad-based, with members coming from a variety of backgrounds looking for different types of relationships. Other sites are more specific, based on the type of members, interests, location, or relationship desired.

Trends

United States residents spent $469.5 million on online dating and personals in 2004, and over $500 million in 2005, the largest segment of “paid content” on the web other than pornography, according to a study conducted by the Online Publishers Association (OPA) and ComScore Networks. The U.S. online dating market is expected to increase spending to $932 million in 2011.

At the end of November 2004, there were 844 lifestyle and dating sites, a 38 percent increase since the start of the year, according to Hitwise Inc. However, market share was increasingly being dominated by several large commercial services, including AOL Personals, Yahoo! Personals, Match.com, and eHarmony. By 2007, many prominent studies show that Baby Boomer interest in online dating had soared.

In 2002, a Wired magazine article forecast that, "Twenty years from now, the idea that someone looking for love without looking for it online will be silly, akin to skipping the card catalog to instead wander the stacks because 'the right books are found only by accident.' Serendipity is the hallmark of inefficient markets, and the marketplace of love, like it or not, is becoming more efficient."

Most recently, it has become common for online dating websites to provide webcam chats between members. In addition, as the online dating population becomes larger, sites with specific demographics are becoming more popular as a way to narrow the pool of potential matches. According to online personals expert Mark Brooks from onlinepersonalswatch.com, online dating sites are adding features including handwriting analysis to match like-minded mates.

The most successful niche sites pair people by race, sexual orientation or religion.[6] The 20 most popular dating sites this year as ranked by Hitwise include JDate (for Jewish singles), Christian Mingle, Christian Cafe and JCMATCH, Manhunt (for gay men), Love From India, Black Christian People Meet, Amigos (for Latino singles), Asian People Meet, and Shaadi (for Indian singles). In March 2008, the top 5 overall sites held 7% less market share than they did one year ago while the top sites from the top five major niche dating categories made considerable gains.

One of the "hottest trends in online dating" is the baby boomers on the top dating sites. Around 30% of America's 80 million baby boomers are single.

Since 2003, several free dating sites, operating on ad based-revenue rather than monthly subscriptions, have appeared and become increasingly popular.

Especially popular in Eastern Europe, some sites offer full access to messaging and profiles, but provide additional services for pay, such as bumping profiles up to the top of the list, removing advertisements, making paying users' profiles appear several times in different places in the search results, and giving paying users a more advanced search engine to work with (in one real example, free users may only search for persons of specified age, gender, orientation, and city, while subscribers may search for any and all parameters listed in profiles, such as height, weight, interests, etc.).

Also, this model generally allows users to switch between free and paying status at will and without having to do anything, simply providing advanced features for a set period of time whenever the according payment is received. Ease of payment is also generally higher, with such sites accepting a variety of online currencies, letting users charge the payment to their cellular phones, etc. Such sites earn revenue from a mix of advertising and sale of additional options.

Virtual dating

Virtual dating combines online dating with online gaming. It is distinguished from online dating by the absence of an intention of the people to personally meet. Virtual dating involves the use of avatars for people to interact in a virtual venue that resembles a real life dating environment. For example, individuals can meet and chat in a romantic virtual cafe in Paris or on a Caribbean resort.

According to Scientific American, virtual dating is "the next step in online dating" (Feb/March 2007, p. 35).

A Time Magazine article entitled "Internet Dating 2.0" was published on January 19, 2007 citing current and upcoming technologies and explains how people can now connect in a virtual dating environment. Time describes how websites are allowing people to meet for an avatar based, graphically enabled virtual date without leaving their homes.

Researchers at MIT and Harvard have found that "people who had had a chance to interact with each other (by computer only) on a virtual tour of a museum subsequently had more successful face-to-face meetings than people who had viewed only profiles."

Social networking

The role of social networking services in online dating has been explored in a book dedicated to the subject. The findings of the study reveal that the online dating services driven by subscriptions offer the least amount of social networking opportunities, as they often only utilize the personal homepage genre of online community, which only makes them effective for the bonding and encoding stage of the relationship.
The dating services modeled on the free-at-the-point-of-use model scored much higher as many of them utilized the Circle of Friends social networking method and a wider number of online community genres.

The highest scoring dating service was Facebook, which uses the personal homepage genre, the message board genre, the weblog and directory genre, as well as utilizing the Circle of Friends. The second highest scoring, Second Life utilizes virtual worlds, message boards, chat groups and profile pages to allow people to contact in a three-dimensional environment.

Niche Online Dating Services

There are literally hundreds of niche online dating services, all competing for a focused marketplace. The categories niche dating services cover are endless: golf, writing, celibacy, sci-fi, geeks, dog owners, cat owners, horse owners, STDs, sports fans, married people, swingers, adult dating, dogging, N/S/A sex dating, music, millionaires dating, etc. You name it and chances are there is multiple niche dating sites in that category, all you have to do is decide what turns you on.

Understanding Bisexuality

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Bisexuality is sexual behavior with or physical attraction to both sexes (male and female), or a bisexual orientation. People who have a bisexual orientation "can experience sexual, emotional, and affectionate attraction to both their own sex and the opposite sex"; "it also refers to an individual’s sense of personal and social identity based on those attractions, behaviors expressing them, and membership in a community of others who share them.” It is one of the three main classifications of sexual orientation, along with a heterosexual and a homosexual orientation. Individuals who do not experience sexual attraction to either sex are known as asexual.
Bisexuality has been observed in various human societies and elsewhere in the animal kingdom throughout recorded history. The term bisexuality, however, like the terms hetero- and homosexuality, was coined in the 19th century.
Description

Despite misconceptions, bisexuality does not require that a person be attracted equally to both sexes. In fact, people who have a distinct but not exclusive preference for one sex over the other may still identify themselves as bisexual. A 2005 study by researchers Gerulf Rieger, Meredith L. Chivers, and J. Michael Bailey, which attracted media attention, purported to find that bisexuality is extremely rare in men. This was based on results of controversial penile plethysmograph testing when viewing pornographic material involving only men and pornography involving only women. Critics state that this study works from the assumption that a person is only truly bisexual if he or she exhibits virtually equal arousal responses to both opposite-sex and same-sex stimuli, and have consequently dismissed the self-identification of people whose arousal patterns showed even a mild preference for one sex.

Some researchers say that the technique used in the study to measure genital arousal is too crude to capture the richness (erotic sensations, affection, admiration) that constitutes sexual attraction. The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force called the study and The New York Times coverage of it flawed and biphobic. FAIR also criticized the study.
In 1995, Harvard Shakespeare professor Marjorie Garber made the academic case for bisexuality with her 600 page, Vice Versa: Bisexuality and the Eroticism of Everyday Life in which she argued that most people would be bisexual if not for "repression, religion, repugnance, denial" and "premature specialization."

Sexual orientation, identity, behavior

American Psychological Association states that sexual orientation "describes the pattern of sexual attraction, behavior and identity e.g. homosexual (aka gay, lesbian), bisexual and heterosexual (aka straight)." "Sexual attraction, behavior and identity may be incongruent. For example, sexual attraction and/or behavior may not necessarily be consistent with identity. Some individuals may identify themselves as homosexual or bisexual without having had any sexual experience. Others have had homosexual experiences but do not consider themselves to be gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Further, sexual orientation falls along a continuum. In other words, someone does not have to be exclusively homosexual or heterosexual, but can feel varying degrees of both. Sexual orientation develops across a person's lifetime-different people realize at different points in their lives that they are heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual."

According to Rosario, Schrimshaw, Hunter, Braun (2006), "the development of a lesbian, gay, or bisexual (LGB) sexual identity is a complex and often difficult process. Unlike members of other minority groups (e.g., ethnic and racial minorities), most LGB individuals are not raised in a community of similar others from whom they leam about their identity and who reinforce and support that identity. Rather, LGB individuals are often raised in communities that are either ignorant of or openly hostile toward homosexuality."

In a longitudinal study about sexual identity development among lesbian, gay, and bisexual (LGB) youths, its authors "found evidence of both considerable consistency and change in LGB sexual identity over time." Youths who had identified as both gay/lesbian and bisexual prior to baseline were approximately three times more likely to identify as gay/lesbian than as bisexual at subsequent assessments. Of youths who had identified only as bisexual at earlier assessments, 60-70% continued to identify as bisexual, while approximately 30-40% assumed a gay/lesbian identity over time. Authors suggested that "although there were youths who consistently self-identified as bisexual throughout the study, for other youths, a bisexual identity served as a transitional identity to a subsequent gay/lesbian identity."

Bisexuals commonly start to identify as bisexuals in their early to mid twenties.
Bisexual women more often have their first heterosexual experience before their first homosexual experience, whereas bisexual men will have their first homosexual experience first.

Prevalence

A 2002 survey in the United States by National Center for Health Statistics found that 1.8 percent of men ages 18–44 considered themselves bisexual, 2.3 percent homosexual, and 3.9 percent as "something else". The same study found that 2.8 percent of women ages 18–44 considered themselves bisexual, 1.3 percent homosexual, and 3.8 percent as "something else". The Janus Report on Sexual Behavior, published in 1993, showed that 5 percent of men and 3 percent of women consider themselves bisexual and 4 percent of men and 2 percent of women considered themselves homosexual. The 'Health' section of The New York Times has stated that "1.5 percent of American women identify themselves [as] bisexual."

Dr. Alfred Kinsey's 1948 work Sexual Behavior in the Human Male found that "46% of the male population had engaged in both heterosexual and homosexual activities, or 'reacted to' persons of both sexes, in the course of their adult lives". Kinsey himself disliked the use of the term bisexual to describe individuals who engage in sexual activity with both males and females, preferring to use "bisexual" in its original, biological sense as hermaphroditic: "Until it is demonstrated [that] taste in a sexual relation is dependent upon the individual containing within his anatomy both male and female structures, or male and female physiological capacities, it is unfortunate to call such individuals bisexual" (Kinsey et al., 1948, p. 657). Dr. Fritz Klein believed that social and emotional attraction are very important elements in bisexual attraction. One third of the men in each group showed no significant arousal. The study did not claim them to be asexual, and Rieger stated that their lack of response did not change the overall findings.

Study, Theory and Social Response

There is no consensus among scientists about the exact reasons that an individual develops a heterosexual, bisexual, gay, or lesbian orientation. Reasons include a combination of genetic factors and environmental factors (including fraternal birth order, where the number of older brothers a boy has increases the chances of homosexuality; specific prenatal hormone exposure, where hormones play a role in determining sexual orientation as they do with sex differentiation; and prenatal stress on the mother.)

The American Academy of Pediatrics has stated that "sexual orientation probably is not determined by any one factor but by a combination of genetic, hormonal, and environmental influences." The American Psychological Association has stated that "there are probably many reasons for a person's sexual orientation and the reasons may be different for different people". It stated that, for most people, sexual orientation is determined at an early age.

The American Psychiatric Association has stated that, "to date there are no replicated scientific studies supporting any specific biological etiology for homosexuality. Similarly, no specific psychosocial or family dynamic cause for homosexuality has been identified, including histories of childhood sexual abuse." Research into how sexual orientation may be determined by genetic or other prenatal factors plays a role in political and social debates about homosexuality, and also raises fears about genetic profiling and prenatal testing.

Sigmund Freud theorized that every person has the ability to become bisexual at some time in his or her life. He based this on the idea that enjoyable experiences of sexuality with the same sex, whether sought or unsought, acting on it or being fantasized, become an attachment to his or her needs and desires in social upbringing. Prominent psychoanalyst Dr. Joseph Merlino, Senior Editor of the book, Freud at 150: 21st Century Essays on a Man of Genius stated in an interview:

“Freud maintained that bisexuality was a normal part of development. That all of us went through a period of bisexuality and that, in the end, most of us came out heterosexual but that the bisexual phase we traversed remained on some unconscious level, and was dealt with in other ways....He did not consider it something that should be criminalized, or penalized.... Freud felt there were a number of homosexuals he encountered who did not have a variety of complex problems that homosexuality was a part of. He found people who were totally normal in every other regard except in terms of their sexual preference. In fact, he saw many of them as having higher intellects, higher aesthetic sensibilities, higher morals; those kinds of things. He did not see it as something to criminalize or penalize, or to keep from psychoanalytic training. A lot of the psychoanalytic institutes felt if you were homosexual you should not be accepted; that was not Freud's position”.

Human bisexuality has mainly been studied alongside with homosexuality. Van Wyk & Geist (1995) argue that this is a problem for sexuality research because the few studies that have observed bisexuals separately have found that bisexuals are often different from both heterosexuals and homosexuals. Furthermore, bisexuality does not always represent a halfway between the dichotomies. Research indicates that bisexuality is influenced by biological, cognitive and cultural variables in interaction, and this leads to different types of bisexuality.

There is currently a debate on the importance of biological influences on sexual orientation. Biological explanations have been put to question by social scientists, particularly by feminists who encourage women to make conscious decisions about their life and sexuality. A difference in attitude between homosexual men and women has also been reported as men are more likely to regard their sexuality as biological, "reflecting the universal male experience in this culture, not the complexities of the lesbian world." There is also evidence that women's sexuality may be more strongly affected by cultural and contextual factors.
Most of the available scientific studies on bisexuality date from before the 1990s. Interest in bisexuality has generally grown, but research focus has lately been on sociology and gender studies.

Social factors

There is a consensus among scholars of different faculties that cultural and social factors have an effect on human sexual behavior. As bisexual people come from all social classes, social status within the individuals environment, and familial backgrounds, such factors cannot independently explain why some people are bisexual.
Krafft-Ebing was the first to suggest that bisexuality is the original state of human sexuality. Freud has famously summarized on the basis of clinical observations: "We have come to know that all human beings are bisexual - - and that their libido is distributed between objects of both sexes, either in a manifest or a latent form." According to Freud, people remain bisexual all their lives in a repression to mono-sexuality of fantasy and behavior. This idea was taken up in the 1940s by the zoologist Alfred Kinsey who was the first to create a scale to measure the continuum of sexual orientation from hetero to homosexuality. Kinsey studied human sexuality and argued that people have the capability of being hetero or homosexual even if this trait does not present itself in the current circumstances.
From an anthropological perspective, there is large variation in the prevalence of bisexuality between different cultures. Among some tribes it appears to be non-existent while in others a universal, including the Sambia of New Guinea and other similar Melanesian cultures.

Even though only a small percentage of people have bisexual traits, this does not out rule the possibility of bisexual behavior of the majority in different circumstances. Similarly, although evolutionary psychologists consider most males as promiscuous by nature, the majority of American men are faithful to their wives, appearing essentially monogamous. These traits can be explained as the result of culture constraints on evolutionary predispositions.
Sex drive

Several studies comparing bisexuals with hetero- or homosexuals have indicated that bisexuals have higher rates of sexual activity, fantasy or erotic interest. Van Wyk and Geist (1984) found that male and female bisexuals had more sexual fantasy than heterosexuals. Dixon (1985) found that bisexual men had more sexual activities with women than did heterosexual men. Bisexual men masturbated more but had less happy marriages than heterosexuals. Bressler and Lavender (1986) found that bisexual women had more orgasms per week and they described them as stronger than did hetero- or homosexual women. Also found, marriages with a bisexual female were more happy than heterosexual unions, observed less instance of hidden infidelity, and ended in divorce less frequently. Goode and Haber (1977) found bisexual women to be sexually mature earlier, masturbate and enjoy masturbation more and to be more experienced in different types of heterosexual contact.
Recent research suggests that, for most women, high sex drive is associated with increased sexual attraction to both women and men. For men, however, high sex drive is associated with increased attraction to one sex or the other, but not to both, depending on sexual orientation.
More recent research, however, associates high sex drive and increased attraction to both sexes only in women. Bisexual men's pattern has been more similar to heterosexuals with a stronger correlation with high sex drive and other-sex attraction.

Masculinization

Masculinization of women and hyper-Masculinization of men has been a central theme in sexual orientation research. There are several studies suggesting that bisexuals have a high degree of Masculinization. LaTorre and Wendenberg (1983) found differing personality characteristics for bisexual, heterosexual and homosexual women. Bisexuals were found to have less personal insecurities than heterosexuals and homosexuals. This finding defined bisexuals as self assured and less likely to suffer from mental instabilities. The confidence of a secure identity consistently translated to more masculinity than other subjects. This study did not explore societal norms, prejudices, or the feminization of homosexual males.

In a research comparison, published in the Journal of the Association for Research in Otolaryngology, women usually have a better hearing sensitivity than males, assumed by researchers as a genetic disposition connected to child rearing. Homosexual and bisexual women have been found to have a hypersensitivity to sound in comparison to heterosexual women, suggesting a genetic disposition to not tolerant high pitched tones. While heterosexual, homosexual and bisexual men have been found to exhibit similar patterns of hearing. There was a notable differential within a sub-group of males identified as hyper feminized homosexual males who exhibited test results similar to heterosexual women.

Prenatal hormones

The prenatal hormonal theory of sexual orientation suggests that people who are exposed to excess levels of sex hormones have Masculinized brains and show increased homosexuality. Studies to provide evidence for the Masculinization of the brain have however not been conducted to date. Research on special conditions such as CAH and DES indicate that prenatal exposure to, respectively, excess testosterone and estrogens are associated with female–female sex fantasies in adults. Both effects are associated with bisexuality rather than homosexuality.

There is research evidence that the ratio of the length of the 2nd and 4th digits (index finger and ring finger) is somewhat negatively related to prenatal testosterone and positively to estrogen. Studies measuring the fingers found a statistically significant skew in the 2D:4D ratio (long ring finger) towards homosexuality with an even lower ratio in bisexuals. It is suggested that exposure to high prenatal testosterone and low prenatal estrogen concentrations is one cause of homosexuality whereas exposure to very high testosterone levels may be associated with bisexuality. Because testosterone in general is important for sexual differentiation, this view offers an alternative to the suggestion that male homosexuality is genetic.

The prenatal hormonal theory suggests that a homosexual orientation results from exposure to excessive testosterone causing an over-masculinized brain. This is contradictory to another hypothesis that homosexual preferences may be due to a feminized brain in males. However, it has also been suggested that homosexuality may be due to high prenatal levels of unbound testosterone that results from a lack of receptors at particular brain sites. Therefore the brain could be feminized while other features, such as the 2D:4D ratio could be over-masculinized.

Brain structure

LaVey's (1991) examination at autopsy of 18 homosexual men, 1 bisexual man, 16 presumably heterosexual men and 6 presumably heterosexual women found that the INAH 3 nucleus of the anterior hypothalamus of homosexual men was smaller than that of heterosexual men and the size of heterosexual women. Although grouped with homosexuals, the INAH 3 size of the one bisexual subject was similar to that of the heterosexual men.

Chromosomes

There is some evidence to support the concept of biological precursors of bisexual orientation in genetic males. According to Money (1988), men with an extra Y chromosome are more likely to be bisexual, paraphilic and impulsive.

Evolutionary theory

Some evolutionary psychologists have argued that same-sex attraction does not have adaptive value because it has no association with potential reproductive success. Instead, bisexuality can be due to normal variation in brain plasticity. More recently, it has been suggested that same-sex alliances may have helped males climb the social hierarchy giving access to females and reproductive opportunities. Same-sex allies could have helped females to move to the safer and resource richer center of the group, which increased their chances of raising their offspring successfully.
Brendan Zietsch of the Queensland Institute of Medical Research proposes the alternative theory that men exhibiting female traits become more attractive to females and are thus more likely to mate, provided the genes involved do not drive them to complete rejection of heterosexuality.
Also, in a 2008 study, its authors stated that "There is considerable evidence that human sexual orientation is genetically influenced, so it is not known how homosexuality, which tends to lower reproductive success, is maintained in the population at a relatively high frequency." They hypothesized that "while genes predisposing to homosexuality reduce homosexuals' reproductive success, they may confer some advantage in heterosexuals who carry them." and their results suggested that "genes predisposing to homosexuality may confer a mating advantage in heterosexuals, which could help explain the evolution and maintenance of homosexuality in the population."

Social status

Because some bisexual people do not feel that they fit into either the homosexual or the heterosexual world, and because they have a tendency to be "invisible" in public, some bisexual persons are committed to forming their own communities, culture, and political movements. Some who identify as bisexual may merge themselves into either homosexual or heterosexual society. Still other bisexual people see this merging as enforced rather than voluntary; bisexual people can face exclusion from both homosexual and heterosexual society on coming out. Psychologist Beth Firestein states that bisexuals also tend to internalize social tensions related to their choice of partners. Firestein suggests bisexuals may feel pressured to label themselves as homosexuals instead of occupying a difficult middle ground in a culture that has it that if bisexuals are attracted to people of both sexes, they must have more than one partner, thus defying society's value on monogamy. These social tensions and pressure may and do affect bisexuals' mental health. Specific therapy methods have been developed for bisexuals to address this concern.
Bisexual behaviors are also associated in popular culture with men who engage in same-sex activity while otherwise presenting as heterosexual. The majority of such men—said to be living on the down-low—do not self-identify as bisexual. However this is a cultural misperception and should actually be seen as more closely associated with all LGBT individuals who due to societal pressures hide their actual orientation, a phenomena colloquially called "being closeted".

Sexual Subgroups

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We no longer live in a world that is Black and White when it comes to sex, every person on this planet has there own way of expressing their sexual side, the sad this that most of us never fully open up to our partners and there for are unhappy, Sexologists and Marriage councilors around the world all agree that the lack of communication in and out of the bedroom results in more than 80% of all divorces and that 2 in 3 marriages will end in divorce in the first 5 years.

Wow that’s a lot of unhappy people, make the change and find out what you like and what you would like to try, once you are sure what turns you on. Try talking to your partner, you may find that if you are open with him/her they will be open with you.
Be open minded to what you like and what your partner is interested in and don’t get jealous if they tell you they are open to extra-marital sex. To be honest you should have had this talk before you got married.

So lets look at some sub-cultures that you may find you like.

Bisexuality and same-sex activity

Attitudes to same-sex activity and bisexuality vary by culture and locale, and by gender.
As a rule, female bi-sexuality and bi-curiosity are common in both the "selective" and traditional swinging scenes and tend to be the norm amongst participants; by contrast, male same-sex activity has a wider variation in its handling, and may be welcomed, accepted, frowned upon, or forbidden. Swing clubs and other facilities exist for gay and bisexual interests for both genders, but differ – for example bathhouses and the like for gay males, sometimes described as being "controversial" even in the gay community due to safer sex concerns, whereas women's clubs are "comparatively rare" and tend to be organized as private events, or niche clubs with high popularity for their events.
No studies have been conducted as to what percentage of swinging men or women who define themselves as bisexual would be open to romantic as well as sexual relations with both genders.

Dogging

Dogging is a British term for swinging that takes place in a public but reasonably secluded area (often based in cars, but not necessarily). There are many known dogging spots across the UK where people go after dark, typically to engage in voyeurism and exhibitionism but also to take part in group sex.

Hot wife

The term hot wife refers to a married woman who has sex with men other than her spouse, and/or women with the husband's consent. In most cases the husband takes a vicarious pleasure in watching the pleasure of his wife and the man or men, or enjoys watching, hearing, or knowing about his wife's adventures. Husbands may also take part by engaging in threesomes, or arranging dates for their wives. And often, if not an active participant, the husband takes photos and/or video of his wife's sexual encounter. Also in many cases the husband/wife enjoys private sexual relations afterward.
One variant of the hot wife phenomenon is when two men (one generally the husband and the other perhaps a close friend) take turns pleasuring his wife, each immediately taking over from the other as soon as his orgasm is reached. In effect one man is recovering while the other is active, but the woman effectively has continuous intercourse. In this way, particularly if the woman experiences multiple orgasms, this game can effectively provide her with a very extended sexual act that she could not experience in any other way.

Cuckolding

A distinct threesome subculture is cuckolding. Cuckolding is a subgenre where open relationship and threesomes meet. In a cuckold experience, one partner has sex with another person outside of their primary relationship for a limited number of times and the person who engages in the experience generally shares that experience with their partner after the encounter has ended.
Generally cuckolding differs from an open relationship as it does not involve an ongoing emotional relationship that is commonly found in an open relationship. Though the non-participating partner is not involved in the sexual act, they may be involved in preparation and selection of the third person. Cuckolding is not always done for sexual humiliation as it may be done to allow sexual exploration, the opportunity to live out a fantasy, fulfill a desire, or sexual fulfillment that cannot usually be obtained through the normal boundaries of a relationship. In essence cuckolding seeks to 'fill the gap' that is left by other threesome or group sex activities.

Polyamory

Polyamory is the desire, practice or acceptance of having more than one loving, intimate relationship at a time with full knowledge and consent by everyone involved. Poly lifestyles vary, with some being open relationships and others being polyfidelitous.
Many people involved in polyamory are not swingers. Some are openly critical of swingers, contrasting their committed relationships with the recreational sex that, in their view, swingers practice. Others are not critical of swingers but simply do not regard themselves as belonging to the same group.

Selective swinging

Traditionally swingers' clubs accept all ages and body types, and the average age of swingers is 39, while the ages when people first enter the swinging lifestyle average 31 for women and 34 for men. Younger swingers who wish to swing with their own age group find that this isn't always possible in swinging clubs.

Fever Parties began organizing events for affluent under-40s in London in the late 1990s. Other organizers have sprung up. These organizations try to elevate themselves by hosting events in up market venues, serving Champagne or cocktails and asking guests to dress in smart evening attire. Entry is often competitive and photographs are usually required to demonstrate attractiveness.

Due to the success of these events in the UK, they have spread to Norway, South Africa, Sweden and the United States. This has renewed the term The Lifestyle' to encompass swinging activities, younger couples being averse to "swingers" because of its connotations.

'Selective swinging' events include mostly childless, unmarried young graduates whose average ages are as low as the late 20s, whereas traditional swingers events have average ages in the 40s. Selective parties are sometimes referred to as "exclusive" or "elitist."
The acceptance of singles varies by area and event. Some clubs (including parties and private events) allow only couples and females, but some allow single men on selected nights. Single females are often admitted at reduced price. Because of the high proportion of female same sex activity (and interest), interested single females are called "unicorns" in the context of their existence being a fantasy, rather than a reality.

Reasons against single males vary. Most but not all of the people in swinger events are male-female couples more interested in couples or single women than single men. Thus, swinger events strive to achieve a balance between male and female participants or have a slightly larger number of females.

A complaint is that single men change the tone of an event. While hostility towards single men is rare, an abundance of single males is not often looked upon favorably. When single males are permitted, their numbers are usually limited by high fees or stringent requirements.

Thank you to my friends at Wiki which helped me complete this article.

What Is Swinging? Definition And History

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Swinging, sometimes referred to as the swinging lifestyle, is "non-monogamous sexual activity, treated much like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple." The phenomenon of swinging (or at least its wider discussion and practice) may be seen as part of the sexual revolution of recent decades, which occurred after the upsurge in sexual activity made possible by the prevalence of safer sex practices during the same period. Swinging has been called wife swapping in the past, but this term has been criticized as andocentric (taking a male-oriented point of view) and inaccurately describing the full range of sexual activities in which swingers may take part.
Activities
Swinging activities may include (but are not limited to):
• Soft swinging: having sexual intercourse with a partner while two or more other people perform sex acts in the immediate vicinity.
• Soft swap: having oral sex with someone other than one's partner. Often a type of swinging that new couples choose before eventually trying full swap, although many couples stay "soft swap" for personal or safety related reasons.
• Full swap: having penetrative sex with someone other than one's partner. Although this is the commonly understood definition of swinging, it is not necessarily the most common type.
• Group sex: An all-inclusive term for activities involving multiple partners in the same vicinity.
Typically, swinging activities occur when a married or otherwise committed couple engages in sexual activity with another couple, multiple couples, or a single individual. These acts can occur in the same room (often called same room swinging) though different or separate room swinging does occur. On these occasions, swingers will often refer to sex as play and sex partners as playmates. Occasionally, one party of a couple will not be interested in joining the swinging lifestyle. This party is typically referred to as the "hold-out" while the other party is referred to as the "desirous party". Thus, the "desirous party" is the one party of a swinging couple who seeks to be in the lifestyle as opposed to the other party who does not.
History
16th century
A formal arrangement was signed by John Dee, his wife Jane, his scryer, Edward Kelley and Kelley's wife Joanna on 22 April 1587, whereby conjugal relations would be shared between the men and their spouses. This arose following séances which apparently resulted in spirits guiding Dee and Kelley towards this course of action.
17th century
Temporary spouse-trading was commonly advocated and practiced among occultists, particularly alchemists, in Europe (such as at Prague) in the 17th century.
18th century
Some such occultists were the Frankists who in the mid-18th century established in Salonika (Thessalonia), Macedonia, Greece (part of the Ottoman empire at that time) the Dönmeh cult : "The Donmeh now converted the Shabbatain Purim into an annual orgy, when members exchanged spouses for a ceremony called 'extinguishing the lights.'" "Once a year [during the Doenmes' annual 'Sheep holiday'] the candles are put out in the course of a dinner which is attended by orgies and the ceremony of the exchange of wives." "The Dönmeh and the Frankists each had sexual-religious rituals, ranging from wife-swapping ..." From collaboration of the Frankists with Zizendorf of Moravia derived the "initiated sea captains sailing for the Swedish East India Company", who set up a liaison with oriental Tantrists; in a similar manner as in the 20th century Air Force pilots were involved in introducing "swinging" to the United States.
19th century
The sobriquet "Communist" was applied (especially in Germany) to some who advocated spouse-trading in the mid-19th century onward. However, no political connotations should be attached to this label. In the Communist Manifesto "holding wives in common" was one of the charges Marx levied at the bourgeoise.
20th century
While contemporary swingers look to earlier practices, such as ancient Roman acceptance of orgies and alternative sexual practices, swinging in the 20th century began differently.
According to Terry Gould's Book The Lifestyle: A Look at the Erotic Rites of Swingers, swinging began among United States Army Air Force pilots and their wives during World War II. The mortality rate of pilots was high. Gould reports that a close bond arose between pilots, with the implication that husbands would care for all the wives as their own, emotionally and sexually, if the husbands were away or lost (thus bearing some similarity to levirate marriage).
This is debatable, however, since it would have been unusual for wives to accompany their husbands on foreign tours. Other sources point to U.S. Air Force pilots in the California desert as the original participants. Though the beginnings are not agreed upon, it is assumed swinging began among American military communities in the 1950s. By the time the Korean War ended, swinging had spread from the military to the suburbs. The media dubbed the phenomenon wife-swapping.
The first swingers' organization, the Sexual Freedom League, began in the 1960s in Berkeley, California by a young student named Robert McGinley, in the sexually liberal San Francisco Bay Area. McGinley later formed an umbrella organization called the North American Swing Club Association (NASCA) (now NASCA International) which was formed to disseminate information about swinging across North America. Many internet related organizations now exist, some boasting hundreds of thousands of members.
In the United Kingdom, there was a proliferation of neighborhood groups in the early 1970s — known as "wife swapping" groups — and press articles in later years suggest the peak was 1973–76.
Research
Subjective scientific research has been conducted in the United States since the late 1960s. One study, based on an Internet questionnaire addressed to visitors of swinger-related sites, found swingers are happier in their relationships than the norm.[1]
60% said that swinging improved their relationship; 1.7% said swinging made their relationship less happy.
Approximately 50% of those who rated their relationship "very happy" before becoming swingers maintained their relationship had become happier.
90% of those with less happy relationships said swinging improved them.
Almost 70% of swingers claimed no problem with jealousy; approximately 25% admitted "I have difficulty controlling jealousy when swinging" as "somewhat true", while 6% said this was "yes, very much" true.
Swingers rate themselves happier ("very happy": 59% of swingers compared to 32% of non-swingers) and their lives more "exciting" (76% of swingers compared to 54% of non-swingers) than non-swingers, by significantly large margins.
There was no significant difference between responses of men and women, although more males (70%) than females completed the survey.
This study is of limited accuracy due to self-selected sampling. Internet-based sampling procedures create a substantial potential for bias. For instance, swinging couples who had stronger relationships may have been more motivated to complete the questionnaire. Alternatively, because swinging may cause stress on a marriage, only those with higher than average commitment are able to remain married while swinging. Couples who have jealousy or strife issues caused by swinging will not usually stay in the lifestyle, and therefore would have been less likely to respond.
ABC News reporter John Stossel produced an investigative report into the swinging lifestyle. Stossel reported that more than four million people are swingers, according to estimates by the Kinsey Institute and other researchers. He also cited Terry Gould's research, which concluded that "couples swing in order to not cheat on their partners." When Stossel asked swinging couples whether they worry their spouse will "find they like someone else better", one male replied, "People in the swinging community swing for a reason. They don't swing to go out and find a new wife;" a woman asserted, "It makes women more confident - that they are the ones in charge." Stossel interviewed 12 marriage counselors. According to Stossel, "not one of them said don't do it", though some said "getting sexual thrills outside of marriage can threaten a marriage". Nevertheless, swingers whom Stossel interviewed claimed "their marriages are stronger because they don't have affairs and they don't lie to each other."
Organizations
Certain swinging activities are highly organized. Most major cities in North America and western Europe have at least one swingers' club in a permanent location (although they often keep a low profile to avoid negative attention); over 3,000 swinging clubs exist worldwide. Slightly over 1,000 have online presences, but there are countless small neighborhood clubs, which are known among members of the lifestyle community, but do not have websites (for obvious reasons). As such, the true number of Swinger Clubs is impossible to confirm, but can be safely guessed to number in the thousands worldwide.
Swingers commonly meet through lifestyle magazines, personal ads, swinging house parties, swinger conventions, and Internet sites where swing clubs and lifestyle event promoters post their upcoming events in addition to facilitating new introductions between people.
Although the term "club" may refer to a group that organizes lifestyle-related events in a particular area, it can also refer to a physical location or building. In this latter context, clubs are typically divided into on-premises clubs, where sexual activity may occur at the club itself, and off-premises clubs, where sexual activity is not allowed at the club, but may be arranged at a nearby location.
In the US, many off-premises swinging clubs follow a bar or nightclub format, sometimes renting an entire existing bar (frequently termed a venue takeover) for scheduled events. Takeovers are normally done to avoid interaction with non-lifestyle segments of the population, and to avoid unwanted negative attention. Consequently, on weekends in suburbia, bars in large industrial parks that attract a mainstream clientele during weekdays and would otherwise sit empty or closed on weekends (when business offices are closed) are likely locations for a takeover. Memberships must be obtained and rules must be followed at these off-premise locations.
On-premises clubs usually have a similar format as off-premises clubs. A notable exception is that most on-premises clubs do not serve alcohol, asking participants instead to bring their own, thus avoiding issues from restrictive laws regarding sexual activity and the sale of alcoholic beverages. Concordantly, the vast majority of swinging clubs in the US do not advertise as such. The largest swinger society in North America is NASCA International. NASCA is an association of clubs, websites, publications, travel agencies, and events catering to the swinging lifestyle community. NASCA was established as an umbrella organization with the intent of encouraging the dissemination of accurate information about swinging lifestyles across North America. It publishes a guide listing clubs and events in 43 of the 50 US states and the District of Columbia, Canada, as well as 25 other nations.
In Europe, off-premises clubs are rare, and the majority of swinging venues allows sexual contact and serve alcohol. Three standard formats exist: the bar/nightclub (usually smaller, in city centers and focused around a dance floor), the spa (which has pools, Jacuzzis, saunas and steam rooms where people strip on entry), and the country club (which is out-of-town, usually serves a free buffet, and may include elements of the first two formats while also offering large play spaces).
One of the most secretive and largest of the clubs based in Europe is Alternative Lifestyles (AL). Outside of its many satellite clubs, little is known about AL. Former members of AL have confirmed that the organization has expanded into North and South America. To help distinguish themselves, each AL club adds the first letter from their home city to the AL brand (i.e., MAL for Miami and NAL for New York City).
A large amount of swinging activity is organized via the Internet on various sites with personals, listings, and local information. For many couples, the swinging lifestyle and the clubs can be as much a social venue as a sexual one. Like many sexual subcultures, a strong community atmosphere exists, fostered in part by the greater communication enabled by the Internet.
A big thank you to my friends at Wiki for some insight on the culture.

Things to look out for with online dating.

2009-11-30T20:43:00.000-08:00

The real world as well as the virtual world is full of scam artists, liars, cheaters, stalkers, and plenty of other types of unsavory characters. Both worlds are also full of honest, reliable, trustworthy, hard-working individuals as well. One of the biggest challenges facing those participating in online dating is learning how to tell the difference. Fortunately there are ways to know when you are being scammed and there are things you can do to protect yourself from becoming a victim.

Photos

Most people that do online dating have at lest one digital photo, so when it comes to profiles that have nothing to show, 9/10 times they have some thing to hide.
The most conmen of these is that they are married, look nothing like their profile has lead you to believe or they are just chasers.
Not all members of a dating site with no photos full in to these categories, but if they are really looking to meet someone then they would make the effort, profiles with more than one photo is even better, the reason for this is finding one photo is easy, but to find more than two photos of someone else not you, starts to get a little harder.

Inconsistent Stories, Vague Responses

Women especially seem to be in-tune with their gut feelings and this actually is one of your best defenses. Pay attention to your instincts because more often than not, they are picking up on vibes you might not be noticing. When your instincts start screaming at you to cease communicating with someone, just do it. You can question your instincts later on, if you want. Or you can start working your next prospective love match.

There is a good chance you are being lied to or scammed when the person cannot keep his or her facts straight. Learn how to listen to the words you read and you will learn how to identify inconsistencies. They usually appear in the basic information another offers such as profession, age, marital status, hobbies and interests, even appearance. When someone cannot keep these basic facts straight, that person likely is lying.

Talk on the Phone

For your own safety and protection, always arrange to talk on the phone before agreeing to meet in person anyone you have met online. You will get a genuine feel for the person on the other end by doing so. If this person turns out to be the smoothest talker you have ever encountered, that should be a red flag. Also, if the person cannot seem to arrange a convenient time to talk on the phone, this is a bad sign and you should consider ending this relationship.

Asking for Money

Anytime someone you are communicating with online asks you for money or for your banking or credit card information or any other thing having to do with your personal finances, you are being set up to be scammed. Contrary to what people think, even the brightest, most worldly individuals have fallen victim to this type of scam. Even if you are being given the saddest, most unfortunate or dire story about why the other person needs your financial assistance, it is most likely a lie. It is in your best interest to stop all communication immediately, and this person should be reported, even if doing so makes you feel uncomfortable.

Keep Personal Information Personal

The more personal information you give out during your online communications, the more you increase your chances of being victimized. When you first find someone that you like don’t divulge your hometown, name of employer, last name, phone number, real email address, home address, nothing. Get to know that person first, If another person keeps insisting on this type of information from you, it’s time to move on.

Safety Tips for Online Dating.

2009-11-29T21:29:00.000-08:00

Online dating is a lot fun and you can find some serious matches if you are lucky. However, just like any other system, online dating also has its drawbacks and loopholes. Internet dating safety tips come in handy to safeguard you from the possible pitfalls of online dating. Interacting online exposes you to various types of risk such as, fraud, security, and adultery, to name a few. Some of the dating safety tips mentioned below should help you establish a safe and fine relationship when dating online.

Patience:

Be patient when interacting with people. Do not disclose your personal life and information until you are certain about the trustworthiness of the other person.
Information like your real name, E-mail address, where you live, family and friends, this is all out of bounds info until you know that person well. Most people that are looking to take you for a ride will get bored and move on if you do not give them any information that they can us.

Analysis:

Keep a critical eye on every online communication with the other person. Do not spare even the slightest slip, as you cannot afford one in online dating. If you find that the other person is being too insistent or pressing irrespective of your comfort levels, or he/she is being dishonest, just opt out of any further communication with the person.
Anonymity: Do not disclose your any personal information when dating online, either in profile or in your mails to the other people. Take care not to yield to any pressure or temptation.

Photos:

Try not to communicate with members that do not have any photos of themselves, if it is possible try to get 2-3 photos out of a person, the reason for this is most people have at lest 3 photos of themselves, if the member you are talking to only has one and cant send you anymore, chances are that the photo they are using is a fake.
Information: Try collecting as much information as possible from the other person about them. Ask as many questions you want maintaining his/her comfort levels at the same time. It would be ideal if you can verify the information provided by the other person.
Decisions: In the online world, you decide about your next move. It is absolutely your ability to judge, verify and decide this aspect when dating online. You can graduate to the next level depending upon the certainty you have for the other person. It is better to be safe than sorry.

Chatrooms:
All dating sites have chatrooms filled with interesting people, this I a great place to start socializing, once you have found someone you like and there seems to be sparks, try private chatting with this person for a while, this will help you decide if you really have anything in common and you will still be safe, as long as you have followed the rules of engagement.

Webcams:

Once you have built up a relationship with a member try using a webcam to converse, before you meet for the first time, this will help you in so many ways.
First you will be able to see the person you have been chatting to.
Second body language is a big give away and you will be able to read them like a book.
But the best part is all the fun you can have with a webcam.

All the above features can be found at most online dating sites that pride themselves in the safety of their members and the enjoyment of online dating, don’t be a victim of online fraud, stay safe and never be shy to ask the right question and avoid the questions that could reveal your where about’s and your personal information.

Misunderstanding what online adult dating is all about.

2009-11-29T21:25:00.000-08:00

The world is full of possibilities, online dating is one of the best things to hit the web, with features like free chatrooms, web chat, photo profiles, singles searches, blogs, articles, adult related shops and much more, the online dating scene has made the dating world evolve into something that everyone can enjoy, regardless of your sexual preference, looks, dating needs, there is a site for you.
Some people misunderstand what online dating and Adult dating is all about, I hope with this article some urban legends can be put to rest.
Information included in the following topics will help you understand what adult online dating is or isn't.
Adult online dating
When people hear the words ‘adult online’ they may think it has to do with porn, but adult dating sites are nothing more than online dating sites with a 18/21 age restriction. Some adult dating site may have a sexually explicit theme, but not all.
Adult in this term simply means a site that provides a place for adults to communicate with other adults, and not to be used by children.
What these services provide
Adult online dating provides an environment for adults to connect with one another.
They are strictly for adults because some content may be explicit and not suitable for children or teens. These things may include nudity, graphic language, Sexual preferences, fetishes, and sexually orientated communities and groups. Non of the above are suitable for under age patrons and hence the age restriction on all adult dating sites.
Types of adult dating sites
Adult online dating sites are dedicated to more a sexual orientation than there standard counterparts. These sites may be used to find a person that is more compatible to the member’s sexual orientation and sexual needs, rather than finding the perfect partner to marry. This does not mean that people have not found their perfect partners on adult dating sites, it’s just not their first priority.
These sites can sometimes charge more than the traditional sites because of the features that they may include. These may be like sending virtual gifts, sending messages or videos to others.
Traditional online dating sites are all about finding of your perfect soul mate to spend the rest of your life with. These sites usually use a very detailed profile so others can see your interests, hobbies, or your religious beliefs.
Benefits of adult dating
In the adult dating world there are many benefits to be included with this service, for one most marriages end because of sex, the lack of or the incompatibility of the partner.
Adult dating sites not only caters for singles, but for couples and swingers also, we live in a new world where you can be yourself and experience the things that make you tick. Adult dating sites are geared up for this, they start looking for your perfect partner, not as a soul mate but someone you can enjoy life with, what you like in the bedroom really does play a huge part in your overall happiness.
Join an adult dating site and see for yourself what this kind of service can do for you.

Why date online?

2009-11-27T00:31:00.000-08:00

Well the first real advantage of online dating over normal dating is the internet itself. Online dating brings people together from all over the world via the internet; this is a great advantage because there are thousands of members to choose from.

What this means to the man on the street, well let me put it to you like this, if you walk into a bar and start looking for someone you like, there may only be a small handful of people you like, half of them may not be looking to meet someone and as for the rest that are looking, some may not like you and that leaves you with a very small number of people to choose from, minus the people you have nothing in common with and what does that leave you with? An expensive evening and huge waste of your time.

If you are shy normal dating makes it even harder to meet new people because you just do not get out and about like an outgoing person would. Individuals or groups of people who want to meet other people can do this with online dating and the best part is everyone on the dating site is looking, plus they all have profiles that explain what they are looking for, this means that before wasting your time you can find out if you are looking for the same thing and if you have something’s in common.

Profiles give you a big advantage as you can search for people from all walks of life. Where they live, what they look like and what their interests are, this will give you a quick advantage in locating a possible date. This also explains why there is such a high number of success stories from internet dating.
Getting to know someone before you go out with them improves the odds and ensures you will have a good time.

Another advantage of online dating is that you can go online and remain fairly anonymous revealing a little bit more about yourself only when you want to, this feeling of control has brought out more people who might not do so otherwise.
The great thing about online dating services is that participants get to choose the people they're going to communicate with.
Plus, they get to read their profiles ahead of time, so they pretty much have an idea about what type of a person they are dealing with, before they even make contact.

With thousands of internet dating services popping up all over the world you have no shortage of people looking to date. The availability of internet dating services makes this an appealing option for anyone who is looking to meet new people. Now, with the popularity of online dating services, the interactions people can have are not only limited to their set of friends, acquaintances, and co-workers anymore.

If you have access to the internet you can join any niche dating you like, standard dating, adult dating, swingers clubs, gay and lesbian dating and the list goes on and the best part is that you can join as a free member and check out who’s online, where they are from, what they are looking for and much, much more.
Because of the excitement and the fun internet dating can offer more and more people are joining every day, so why not find a dating site that does it for you and see what all the fuss is about.

Online Dating Tips

2009-11-26T21:03:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the world of online dating, if you have not been a part of an online dating community before or you have not had much luck, then this is for you. Here are a few pointers and rules you should follow when it comes to online dating.

• Your Profile:

Your profile is very important, this is where people start to read what kind of person you really are, the more information you give them, the better they will be able to decide if you are compatible and if they would like to get to know you better. Fill in as much as possible even if you think that it is irrelevant, things like work, children, sexual fantasies are all very important as it adds character building block, example: Work, what kind of job you do may affect your future partner, for example:

• You are a Doctor! This is great, but you are on call 24 hours a day, your shifts are long and when you do come home you are so tired that the last thing you want to do is talk to someone or have sex.

Do you see how this can change your profile. Some may think dating a Doctor is great, you are not at home all the time to get under their feet, and you have lots of money. Each person will think differently about the pro’s and con’s of your job.

• Your Photo:

Your photo is one of the most important features of your profile, there are many reasons for this.
1) When members are looking for a partner, most will look at the members with photo first.
2) Depending on what you look like and if it is a good photo, will also make a difference when it comes to someone contacting you.
3) And the most important, a picture says a thousand words about you, depending on the kind of photo you upload will depend on your first impression. For example if you load up a bad photo and the picture quality is grainy,

This can come off in two ways,
1) You don’t think much of yourself and you have no confidence or,
2) You are not really that interested in online dating. Ether way this is not good for you.

The kind of photo you up load will also change the mindset of the person looking at it, Example if you load up a photo that is nude or very sexually explicit, then that’s what you will get in return, only members of the same caliber will usually contact you IE: a nude photo, says I’m looking for kinky sex only, so that’s what you will get, if that’s what you are looking for them you have done it right.

• The Chatroom:

The Chatroom is a great way to meet people and socialize, here you will find all kinds of people to chat to and share your experiences, once you have found someone in the chatroom, you can always ether chat privately or us a webcam to see and hear the person.
1) Another bonus about meeting people this way is, you can find out if you click where as with E-mails it takes a long time to hear what that person things about something.
2) The other reason why chatrooms are better than E-mail is safety, you do not know the person you are chatting to, so giving out your E-mail address before getting to know them is always a really bad idea, chat with them for a while or if you can us a webcam and mic, and really get to know the person first, then give them you E-mail once you feel that you know the person well enough.

• Meeting for the first time:

This is where it becomes fun! But also keep in mind that you still don’t really know this person, my suggestion, meet in a busy public place restaurants and coffee shops are always a good place, the reason for this is.
1) You are safe and there is a waiter that comes to your table and serves you, if anything should go wrong, he or she can help you and will remember serving you, were as if you meet in a bar you are just another face in the crowd.
2) Also don’t forget to let a friend or family member know where you are at all times, even if you just send a text message telling them, where you are who you are with and if you leave the venue where you are going.

• Getting dressed up: This is for Men and women! Dressing up to meet someone is very important, remember you are meeting someone for the first time and first impressions will be made again on this date. Shower, this date may lead to more, dress nicely, even get a friend to help you out, do your hair, shave or wax, brush your teeth and smell good. If you don’t, this maybe the last time you see this person.

I hope that this will help you, remember one thing, you are using an online dating site for a reason, to find people like you. Always do your best at showing your good side and don’t forget to tell people what you want, this will save you and other members a lot of wasted time.

Who can become a swinger?

2009-11-26T00:59:00.000-08:00

Swinging is an extravagant lifestyle that is practiced by couples and sometimes singles. Group consists of happily married couples. The swinging couples are normal people like you and me, but their choices are a bit different. These preferences are completely normal; hence the lifestyle is practiced in almost all the countries.

The lifestyle involves intimate relationship between swapped partners. It is often misconceived as cheating. Infidelity or cheating occurs when one partner gets mentally and socially involved with other individual without the knowledge of his/her spouse. Swinging couples involves themselves with multiple partners after mutual consent.

The swinging couples don't limit themselves with a particular swinging individual. They satisfy their urge to a certain extent without harming their spouse. Hence, they maintain their conventional relationships as well as fulfill their desires. The couples support and respect each other's feelings. Thus, it strengthens their relations to unparalleled levels.

It isn't a remote practice because people have been swinging since 70's. Earlier, the practice was limited to few couples but now it has become a mass phenomenon. Swinging couples don't wear leather dresses and heavy jewelry. They are normal people who dress in a sophisticated manner. Hence, there is nothing cheesy about the lifestyle.

Hence, you can also become part of the extravagant lifestyle. You should analyze a few aspects before taking the plunge. Just ask yourself “Why do you want to swing? Don't explore the lifestyle just because you are desperate to enjoy intimacy with swinging couples. You can swing only after mutual content, so be ready to convince your partner for the swinging activity.

The swinging lifestyle doesn't welcome unhappy couples. Hence, don't venture if your marriage is on the rocks. Remember that the lifestyle strengthens relationships. It can't mend a broken marriage. So, explore the lifestyle, if you truly aim at enjoying the pleasures of the liberal lifestyle.

Men and Women are wired differently

2009-11-26T00:46:00.000-08:00

There's no doubt about it.

Men and women are wired differently.

Men know this, yet they continue to use the same, ineffective tactics to try to get women, what's even more stunning is that they are surprised when those tactics don't work.

So, just what are those differences and how do they affect the way that men and women communicate?

The answers may surprise you. American ethicist, psychologist and feminist, Carol Gilligan, details some of the more striking differences between the sexes in her book "In a Different Voice." In one section she discusses how males and females approach a problem and make decisions. Generally, males make their decisions based on the ethics of justice while females use the ethics of care.

This goes back to the beliefs that men are more logical and women are more emotional, but takes it a step further, this is very important when communicating with a woman. While men are more results oriented and prefer a more straightforward approach with the easiest route to the end, women operate in a different manner.

Women tend to communicate in a manner that is conducive and focused on building and salvaging relationships. Now, when you are trying to determine just how this information will help you communicate better with women, consider this: If you talk to a woman in her language, on her level, don't you think that you will get better results than you would if you just forged ahead doing your own thing? Of course you would!

Women are also more inclined to talk things out than a man would. Women want to resolve conflicts, or perceived conflicts, by discussing various aspects of the situation. They want to rehash the topic over and over until it has been worked over and wrung dry of useful information. Men, on the other hand, tend to clam up, preferring to refrain from discussing the issue, or "saying their piece" and then moving on.

This can cause problems between men and women because the man shuts down and the woman feels neglected. The smart man will take the time to listen to the woman in his life. He should not only listen, but respond to what she says.

Ask questions, insert comments and create some open dialogue. This will not only fulfill the woman's need to communicate, but it will also get issues out in the open and on the table so that they can be dealt with and faced. This could work to your advantage, particularly if you are in a relationship that you value.

Men and women are different, for sure, but if you are watchful and pay attention to the clues that the women around you are dropping, you can learn how to communicate effectively with them. Just try to mimic them, discretely of course, but emulate their body posture, look them in the eye and pay attention to little cues that she will give.

Ask questions, talk with her and show that you care.

When you meet her on her level with her communication style, you will have her attention - and possibly even her devotion.

In the mean time, Good Luck!