Attempted Homemaking

Etsy Shop

2013-07-18T14:27:00.001-05:00

I will spare you a long oration detailing all of the reasons I have been bad at posting lately and cut to current events!

After over a year of "meaning to do that" I have FINALLY opened an etsy shop. I had planned on doing it shortly before we moved into our house last year, but wanted to wait until we knew where we would be, then got everything settled and then I was just too tired enduring late pregnancy nausea and all, and it's hard to do much when you have a newborn. By then I had procrastinated so long that it was hard to get up the motivation to get it going. A little over a month ago, my husband got demoted due to a coworkers dishonesty. This not only meant a big drop in pay, but also a loss of insurance benefits. It's hard to not bemoan the misfortune that has befallen us, so we started coming up with ideas to make things work financially.

About this time, I had been thinking about how to make a reusable produce bag that you could see the stickers through and I came up with the idea that maybe I could crochet something. So I searched the internet for patterns, there are quite a few out there I might add. I found two that I liked best, combined them, and modified a few things and came up with my own produce bag.

On one of the websites I found a pattern for crocheted beaded bracelets with crochet thread instead of yarn. I had seen crocheted jewelry before with yarn, and was never very big on it, but this was awesome, so I got to making some!

I am having lots of fun, and I used part of the amazon.com gift card I got for my birthday to get shipping supplies and some more jewelry making supplies. I also have plans for a lot more fun stuff to add! I just opened my shop this past Saturday, so hopefully sales will start coming in very soon!

Check out and "Like" my shop! Cabinhome.etsy.com

Life with four

2013-01-28T00:43:00.000-06:00

My new baby is four months old now and I am slowly getting used to having four kids. The little baby stage is always hard, but I defiantly am feeling the pull for my attention. I am very grateful that my kids have come one at a time so I have older kids to be my helpers. My two oldest are getting pretty good and clearing and wiping down the table after dinner, then sweeping the kitchen and dining area, they are also getting better at loading and unloading the dishwasher and taking out the garbage. My two year old is getting better about clearing his plate after a meal and attempting to clean up whatever mess he made, plus he is getting better at putting his toys and shoes away. All of the older kids love to play with their new baby brother so sometimes that's their assignment, play with baby while mom finishes dinner, or changes a toddler diaper, or cleans up vomit or whatever!

I have two in diapers and they're in cloth pretty much all the time. The little baby wears disposables at night. I have found that I still really like the best bottom diapers, but I'm really not a fan of the bumgenius pocket diapers. They leak easily and don't hold much. I have also found that I really like the econobum brand, even though it's made by the same people who make bumgenius. It's very affordable and easy. I think I will get a few more to make sure I'm not constantly running out. Plus, I cut ups receiving blanket and sewed the edges so it doesn't come undone

Overall I feel so luckily to have the baby home and I'm getting into the swing of things!

Natural Childbirth

2012-10-14T00:11:00.000-05:00

Although I have several half written posts about pregnancy, I thought I'd skip ahead and update those of you who don't already know: Our new little boy was born a little over two weeks ago! He was 9 pounds, 12 ounces, 21 and a half inches long, and as the title of this post implies, I didn't have any pain medication. My husband says I have a ridiculously high tolerance for pain, but I don't think that's entirely true! I know there are many women out there who would like to get some tips on natural childbirth, so here are the few that I have:

First and foremost: Find a good doctor. I have heard a lot of good things about midwives too, but I don't have any experience with that one. Our doctor came recommended to us for her know how and concern for the patient. Going along with this, make sure your doctor delivers at a good hospital. I had heard several people say good things about the hospital where I delivered my baby, but the hospital often will only allow what your doctor approves.

Second: counter-pressure. It's something I've seen in childbirth classes that I thought didn't make any sense. Basically, if your having back pressure, your husband (or whoever) puts pressure on that part of your back. It seems like this would make it worse, but it actually helps decrease the pain, at least in your back. There where times when things had progressed that my husband had to put so much pressure on my back to relieve the pain that it was hard for me to stand(I was leaning over the bed)!

Third: Try different possessions. I found anything that represented reclining caused major back pain for me. I also have a history of posterior babies (they come out facing away from my tailbone, when they're supposed to face my tailbone. When I had my second, he almost came out posterior, but they caught it soon enough so instead of pushing, I got on my knees and elbows and rocked back and forth for quite a while, then I pushed on my side for a while and he finally turned! This time, to solve the problem before the pushing stage, I had the bed raised up really high and I just leaned over it with my chest on the bed, my belly hanging down, and when I had a contraction, my husband would put pressure on my lower back while I rocked side to side.

Fourth: If you can, get in the tub! This is where having a good doctor helps out, at least it did for me. I have been induced every time I have had a baby, each in a different hospital with a different doctor. The first three times, if there was a tub, you couldn't get in if you were being induced, or if you had an IV, or if your water had broken. Well this time I had all those things going on and the doctor said it was fine for me to get in the tub if I wanted. Eventually, I wanted! Getting in the tub took the pressure off my back, and it gave me a bit more of a break between contractions (that's the problem with pitocin, sometimes the contractions don't go away completely!) but I still very much felt it in the front. The downside o the tub was that I only got to have a few contractions in there before active labor was over and so was transition so I had to get out to push! My husband stood on straddling the tub put his hands under my arms and hoisted me up to a standing position. It's nice to have a strong hubby!

Fifth: Olive oil. As you might imagine, having a large baby can be kind of rough in certain areas. With my first three kids I had an episiotomy, and with my first and third it tore pretty badly. This time, my doctor massaged olive oil into that area, and had me take a few breaks to avoid tearing. My little boy's shoulders did cause a bit of tearing, but nothing like I've experienced in other deliveries!

Now, you may be wondering why I would care to have a natural delivery. There are several reasons, but here's just an overview:
I don't like feeling numb to anything. Not being able to feel is scarier to me than being in pain. I also enjoy being able to get up and move around shortly after delivery. With two of my other babies I have had medication to take to edge off of the contractions, or help the contractions even out because I have always had pitocin going, but on my third baby they gave me stadol (sp?) when I was at a 5 and said that I couldn't have it after an 8 because they didn't want me having it within the last two hours before the baby was born because it would make him sleepy and difficult for him to nurse. Not only did it make my head spin like nothing else, but it did even out the contractions and he was born within 45 minutes of me getting the medication, so he was blue and not crying. They didn't put him on my tummy or let me cuddle and I didn't care, I just wanted him to be okay. He was after a few minutes, but it took a while to get him to nurse. After that I strengthened my resolve to not have any medication so I wouldn't have to worry about the effect it would have on the baby, and this one came out healthy and ready to eat!
I also don't respond well to pain medication, I get very dizzy and light headed and sometimes get a slight headache (how much sense does that make?) so I try to steer clear of it as much as possible!

I'm so happy to have my little boy here!

How does your garden grow?

2012-06-27T01:32:00.000-05:00

Since we now have a house, complete with a yard, I have started a garden! Around here you can start a garden around mid March, some years sooner, and not have to worry about frost killing anything, so many people around here are already harvesting quite a bit. Since we didn't even move in until mid May, and our lives were chaotic for the first week living here, we got a very late start on our garden, but we're still trying. I figure the worst thing that could happen is this year could be a complete fail and I'll try again next year. I found some old lengths of metal sitting on the side of the house, so I used it as a garden border on the long ends, and put large rocks and broken brick that were lying in random places around the yard for the mall ends. In future years, I hope to have more garden beds, but you have to start somewhere! My worm compost got left open in the moving process, and I hadn't checked it for several days, so the worms got dried out and died. Sad day. This also left me in want of some garden amendments. So I have kind of been doing trench composting. Or maybe it's more like hole composting. Either way, when I have some food scraps to add to the garden, I dig a little hole with me 99 cent trowel and bury it in the more barren parts of the garden. The things I have planted, I have dug a hole deeper than I needed, put some kind of quickly decomposing organic matter, usually a banana peel, put some dirt over that, planted the seed(s), put dirt over that, and watered. I have planted watermelon, pumpkin, tomatoes, cucumber, and cantaloupe. Most of these won't be ready until around the time the baby is born, which works out great because I will be wanting fresh produce to feel good and help everything go back to where it's supposed to, and I won't want to go all the way to the store with a newborn and three little ones. Next year I hope to plant a lot more, but I will also have a lot more time to amend the soil beforehand to make that easier. I would like to grow most of the produce we eat (and we try to eat a lot) but I realize that gardens take a while to fix the soil how you like it, especially if you're not out at the store buying tons of amendments (which can get really pricey!)

Frugal House Buying

2012-06-02T16:44:00.001-05:00

I'm sorry I've been such a slacker about this blog. Although the reason for my slacking is a good one: we finally got a house! *happy dance*
Now you may have read the title of this post and thought I much be crazy. there is nothing frugal about buying a house. Well I agree, but there are places to cut costs and ways to compensate.
Here are a few things we have done to save money in our house buying process:

1. If one of you is a veteran, apply for a VA loan. They are by far the least expensive I have seen or heard of. However, make sure you talk to the VA themselves about eligibility. Banks can do VA loans without the banker you are talking to knowing every finite detail of the eligibility requirements. We had been pre-approved for a VA loan because I'm a veteran, but it turns out that I didn't have enough time in the service to be eligible, so check on that.

2. If you can't get a VA loan, get an FHA loan. This is what we ended up doing, and we got the same interest rate, but had to pay a 3.5% down payment (you don't have any with VA loans) and since we payed less than 20% down payment, we have to pay mortgage insurance (another thing that would have been nice about the VA loan).

**DISCLAMER: It makes more sense financially to save at least 20% for a down payment, we did not have time to do this because we were in a two bedroom apartment and they have rules against having 6 people live in a residence with only two bedrooms (so we had to get out befoer the baby comes), plus when our lease expired, rent shot way up, so we needed to act before our money was all gone! Also, I am just a person with an experince, not a financial advisor, take my advice at your own risk (hmm, I guess taking my advise at your awn risk applies to more than just financial things).**

3. Time the house purchase for when you have some money, if you can. For us, this time is always right after we file our taxes. Yes, having three (soon to be four!) small children can get pricey, but the nice thing is that even when our income went up, we still got a healthy tax return. This not only helps with the down payment and closing costs, but it also helps when the bank looks at your account to decide if you're worthy to owe them money for the next few decades, and pays for a home inspection, earnest money, options fee, not to mention gas to drive around a look at all those houses, and lunch because your brain hurts from looking at houses and making offers and getting your hopes up and all. Then you of course need money to move, pay the fees to change your address on your car registration and drivers license, fees to have your utilities switched over, buy a lawn mower and a fridge, the list is endless!

4. Have a conversation with your utility companies. I talked to ours about our options and found out that we could get our electricity rate lowered from 12.4 cents per kilowatt hour, to 8.8 cents per kilowatt hour, if we agreed to stay with their company for 24 months. We're not going anywhere, so we made that switcheroo (very important since it's getting hotter and I know we want to run that AC!). I also found out that we could get phone for the same price, but add caller i.d. and call waiting! Bundling our internet with our phone made the internet bill go down by about $20 a month too! We also got a discount on our car insurance for having home owners insurance with the same company!

5. Ask friends to help. We put the word out in church that we needed help moving and we needed trucks. Several people with pickups or suburbans came and loaded our big stuff up! It was a very short distance move, so that might not go over a well in a cross country move! We also had people at church who volunteered to watch our kids for free while we moved, which was an enormous help. A good friend of ours came and made the repairs we needed in the apartment as long as we payed for materials. Since I can't do any heavy lifting due to my motherly way, I was to gofer to get materials, pack and tape up last minute boxes, and direct movers what to do next. My husband was also directing movers, but he was one of the heavy lifters so he wasn't in the apartment half the time.

6. Go second hand. When we moved in we needed a fridge. Unfortunately we didn't have much money to spend. We tried unsuccessfully to get a scratch and dent at the major home improvement stores (by the way, if you need customer assistance in the appliance section and no one you ask has the time to help you, start measuring the $1700 and up fridges. Someone will be at your side in a jiffy!) We tried second hand appliance places, they didn't have anything in our budget and they had horrible customer service! So we finally found some on Craigslist. I emailed everyone that had a fridge within our price range, except one, because I just got a strange feeling about it. My husband said the ad gave him the same strange feeling (he told me this before I expressed mine) and in our experience, that is a sure sign to stay away. We had to wait until payday to get the fridge, so we used a cooler filled with ice in the meantime. Which is another thing to ask around about, it's amazing how many people have coolers, and bags of ice they're not using in the their freezer! A friend from church helped my husband move the fridge, in a truck borrowed from another church friend, using a dolly borrowed from another church friend! It's nice to have so many people around who are willing to help! By the way, once you get settled, it's nice to have these friends over, which we are working on right now.

7. Borrow 'till you can buy (may not apply to a fridge). A lawn mower had stayed out of our budget, but my husband is a very friendly and talkative person, and has already talked to several of the neighbors, one of which let us use his lawn mower. I have been checking out garage sales, Craigslist, and second hand stores (long shot, but I had to try) but no success yet. A friend just told my about a place that fixes and sells used lawn mowers, so that is my next stop!

8. Start the decorating with what you have. I badly want to get lots of new nice things for our house, but that's just not practical right now. We're using what we have and making the most of it. It also helps that we get a better feel of living here and know exactly what we want to do or not do with it!

I will update you more as we do more with our new house! Yay for being homeowners!

Worm compost

2012-04-09T16:04:00.000-05:00

One thing I'm really looking forward to in owning a house is having a garden. We have been renting our entire marriage and haven't very much success in the little gardening we have tried. When we lived in a duplex we got a good sprout in our little veggie patch that grew and grew, but then was completely trampled by the neighbor kids (and dogs) before anything was ready to be harvested. If you haven't guessed, it wasn't fenced off. The only garden success we've enjoying in our marriage has been when we were living with my parents, and my mom had already done the parts of soil prep and planting, so we "helped" harvest, consume and make freezer jam (which we later helped consume). If everything works out with the house we're in the process of buying now, then we'll be moving in in early May. Kind of later in the spring than I'd like for garden starting, but you're supposed to start small anyway, right? Since I am a tightwad and sometimes a big of a tree-hugger, I am a big compost advocate. It's wonderful for soil, prevents things from going in landfills, and it's FREE! The drawback here is that it does take a little while for compost to form, so it'd be nice to have some already ready when we move in to get the garden going. As I was mulling over this in my mind, I was also thinking about what we should cover next for homeschool. After a little research, pondering, and a few internet searches, I decided to go ahead and give worm composting a try. I checked the bait shop at Walmart, and they only had Canadian night crawlers, which I had read a lot about and they're not a very good composting worm. So I ordered some online, from amazon.com. This was the least expensive I could find. And the kind to look for is red wigglers, sometimes just called composting worms. In the mean time, I went to the library and picked up some non-fiction children's books about worms.
While we were waiting for the worms to arrive, I looked up home made worm composters (since the store bought ones are insanely expensive!) and got a small storage bin with a lid (opaque), and a dishpan to go under it and catch the "worm tea" that it wonderful for gardens). To make holes for air and drainage, I took a nail, and held it with a rag (so as not to burn myself) then heated the tip of the nail with a match (a candle would work better, but ours are all wickless so I improvised!) then I poked the headed tip in the big to make small holes. I did this in the lid, around the top of the sides, and a few in the bottom. I had to re-heat the nail a few times, which is why a candle works better, but I got it done. Then we added shredded newspaper and cardboard and eggshells and produce scraps.

The kids were so excited when the worms arrived in the mail! WE added them to our bin right away and gave them lots of water (they get kind of died out during shipping). The bigger kids thought the worms were cute, my youngest kept growling at them!

The worms come packed in peat moss to keep them from getting banged up in the shipping process. You can see them starting to move around right after we added them to our bin.

The worms were in this bag, tied shut, in a box labeled "live worms"

Here is a shot of our bin from a little farther away, before we put the lid on of course.

I am surprised by how fast the worms have been eating our regular household compost, and I'm very excited that we'll at least have one really good thing to improve our soil when we move in to a house!

The House that Red Green Built (Or At Least Remodled)

2012-03-16T23:52:00.001-05:00

**Note: "Red Green" is a character on the "Red Green Show." In the show he is constantly Jerry-rigging things and using duct tape as much as possible.**

As some of you know, we are trying to buy a house. It's been a frustrating process. Most houses are snatched up right before we get an offer in, or another offer is accepted that was put in at about the same time. We finally had an offer accepted, and today was the home inspection. We always knew to have a home inspection, and the true value of it, but today's experience illustrated why.

Let's start with a game of "What's wrong with this picture?"

I'll give you a hint, that's the outlet for the dryer.

Where to start? Hopefully the most obvious problem here was the fraying around the wire. Tip: That's bad. Especially since this is a dryer connection, which means that it carries twice the voltage of a normal outlet (much bigger shock if you stick a fork into it!). Another problem is that electrical wirres that are not in the wall mush be covered by some sort of conduit (tube-like thingy) to further keep everyone safe from electrocuting themselves.

The washer and dryer connections were in a room that was obviously an add on, which is fine, it's just that were done my someone who was not a professional, and didn't ask the people at Home depot for advice. So next we have...

Do you know what that is? Here's a straight on view:

I don't think it's really tilting that much, I think I was just tilting my head in confusion.

Here's a close up of my favorite aspect:

Yay for duct tape!

Do you know what that is? It's the washer connections. Since this is part of the addition (you can see the original siding was never removed from the wall) the other side of this wall has the kitchen sink. The white thing that sticks up is the vent for the drain (it's supposed to vent outside the house, not into another room) the thing behind the vent is where you may venture to drain your washer. Though I wonder if it would be safe to drain the washer at the same time you're doing dishes, because I'm guessing the pipes under the house weren't replaced with something to hold more water at the same time. The thing with the red handle is your supply for your washer. Don't let the red fool you, it only dispenses cold water. I'm not entirely sure the purpose of the duct tape.

In my husbands and my defense, this room was locked and the realtor didn't have the key when we veiwed the house, so we were completely unaware of the cookiness (it's a word in my book).

Where to next? How about the hot water heater. When we saw it, it looked newish, complete, no duct tape, seemed like it should be fine. This is why it's important to have an inspector. He opened the closet with the hot water heater and I heard him mumble a few cuss words under his breath. So I asked "What's wrong with it?" First this:

This didn't seem odd to me, but the inspector explained that since this is a gas powered hot water heater, and this is the natural gas intake, it was a BIG problem. Natural gas is acidic and corrosive, so copper piping is a BIG no no. Copper piping is fine for hot water, but not gas.
Next problem:

This copper pipe is not the problem, since it carries water, but that little knob on the top is the T&P valve, or the temperature and pressure valve. For those of you who don't watch Mythbusters, this releases steam and water if the temperature and pressure builds up too high so the water heater doesn't explode. Well, it's completely non-operational. And in case you're wondering...

The valve on the side is capped off too. I personally am not a fan of any part of my home exploding, but the problems don't stop there. Inside is rusted and leaking too, and there's no pan or drain for the water from a working T&P valve, which leads to water dripping onto the unfinished floor and all the problems that stem from that.

None of the pictures we have show it, but the very top pipe that goes into the ceiling (and likely connects to the heater) changes into some kind of white material. The inspector told us that he's not qualified to diagnose this, but it looked a lot like asbestos. AAAHHHH!!!

The next big worry was here:

This is the electrical breaker box. You can't see in the picture, but it's in a closet. When the house was built this was fine, but codes have changed since 1957 and now it has to be in an area that's not so easily blocked so that it's easily accessible in an emergency. Next, the fact that there are two boxes shows the Jerry-rigging involved. Some of the switches are painted, which can cause them to get really hot (that's bad), and I couldn't see it, but it's not grounded at all. The wires to ground the switches don't connect to anything! Which means every outlet in the house is a shock hazard under normal use! This is something that would need to be taken care of by a licensed electrician, and it would not be a quick fix. Translation: $$$$$$!!

I didn't get a picture of it, but the bathroom sink was also cracked and leaking fom the crack and the drain.

About this time we were ready to leave. We talked it over and told the inspector, while he was checking on the air conditioner. He gave us a huge discount and said there was a few more things he wanted to look at his dime to satisfy his curiosity.

The outside air conditioner was making a lot of noise, so it probably had dirt and debris in it, then we took a peek in the attic. The temperature difference between air going in and coming out was only 7 degre, where it should be 14 to 20 degrees. The indoor part of the air conditioner was up there and it's supposed to have a tray under the entire thing to catch condensation, and a secondary tray under that in case the first one overflows. There was only a little plastic tray showed under the side that had been dripping (we could tell from the water marks on the wood.
Additionally, there was only about 4 inches of insulation up there, one of the roof supports looked rotted, and another had a little bit of termite damage!

The gas lines in the attic were copper and had flexible corner connections, which are now against code because they've caused a good number of fires from failing.

So what have we learned today boys and girls? Let's see, a good home inspector is worth his weight in gold, and maybe more than that, always get an inspector, get the house inspected during the 10 day (or whatever) waiting period so you can walk away with no questions asked and still get your earnest money back, expect some minor repairs and quirks, but know the things that will be safety issues and big time money pits. There were several other things wrong with the house, but they were all minor (faulty outlets can be replaced, and over that extinguishes the pilot light when you turn it off can be replaced, cracks in the chimney can be repaired) but when it comes to things that require a professional, HVAC, electrical, plumbing (plumbers do gas lines too), it's best not to do it yourself.

It's a let down that this house wasn't what we'd hoped, but I'm very happy we found out about all this now, rather than after getting into the house and dealing with the money pit.

Just for fun, here's the back door from the utility room. There was a doorknob there when we first viewed the house, but I guess they took it off to get it open. Don't worry though, they tied it shut with a small wire, so everything's okay!

All the sunlight that comes in when the door is closed is very reassuring.

And here's a picture inside one of the bedrooms

A 220 volt outlet in a bedroom. You know, in case you want an electric oven in your bedroom, so you can bake first thing in the morning without having to walk on the cold tile in the kitchen! The inspector said it migh have been from a window AC unit before they installed central AC, but I like my theory better.

Speed Cleaning

2012-03-10T11:47:00.002-06:00

I am not the kind of person who enjoys most cleaning jobs. I enjoy having a clean house, but the process to get there is so...undesirable. I would rather be sleeping, reading, playing with my kids, going for a walk, sewing, crocheting, getting a cavity filled, getting a paper cut, getting a flu shot, or almost anything, rather than cleaning. When our family does a deep clean it is tedious and I have a hard time continuing on. My husband can spend over 2 hours vacuuming every surface (only when we do deep cleans) but my attention vanished much too quickly. So in order to keep our home from falling into complete and disgusting disarray, I do my own version of speed cleaning. I don't do the whole house, but I'll say something to myself like,
"Before dinner I am going to fold and put away all the clean laundry on the couch."
I do this every day so there isn't usually too much on the couch.
I will also tell myself something like,
"While the kids pick their bedtime story, I'll load the dishwasher (and add detergent and start it) real quick."
Or after I get the kids cleaned up after breakfast and they run off to release their wiggles, "I'll run a load of laundry real quick."
Or when the kids are in bed, before I sit down to watch a movie with my hubby or read or whatever, "I'll wipe the counters down and sweep the floor real quick."

Notice that these seem to end in the words "real quick." That's because I can one or two fast and easy chores before moving on to something more enjoyable, but taking the time out and saying "Now I will clean the entire house." makes me want to lay down and take a nap.

If the walls are getting yucky, I start doing something that has to done by an adult (at least while our kids are this young), like clean the toilet, but I'll do it whole the kids are bored and tell them they cannot watch TV. So they want to help. I'll dive them the damp, maybe slightly soapy rags and instruct them to clean walls and doorknobs. my daughter is so eager to please everyone around her so she'll ask me if she did a good job. I'll tell her yes, then I might say "But you just missed one little spot right there, remember to scrub really hard!" My son often decides the floors need to be scrubbed and then the doorknobs, so this is a work in progress, but I figure it decreases overall house dirt, so we're moving in the right direction!

Or course, visiting in-laws always get our whole family into speed cleaning mode. They live four hours away, but usually we only have a 30 minute warning before they come over. They stay in a hotel, so we don't have to make sleeping preparations at all, but the living room, dining area, kitchen, hall bathroom and kids room all need to be neat and tidy (that's every room in our home except my husbands and my room and our bathroom! So we have learned the art of slow clutter in our room, load the dishwasher really fast, so a quick wipe down or viable surfaces, including the table, stove top, and counter tops, sweep, floor wipe down (don't know that I would call it "mopping"), and quick vacuum. Then toilet, mirror and sink wipe down, and make sure there's toilet paper. Usually that does the trick.

This is how I get past the mental blocks and distraction to keep our home from falling apart.

It's a Sick Sick World

2012-02-28T20:14:00.001-06:00

I am a sucker for babies. Especially when they're brand new. So when I read this article http://www.theblaze.com/stories/ethicists-argue-in-favor-of-after-birth-abortions-as-newborns-are-not-persons/
I felt not only sick, but scared and worried. This is not the kind of thing we want to become legal, or even considered. Oy, it gives me the creeps.

Teaching My Daughter About Modesty

2012-02-25T00:15:00.001-06:00

Just as a reminder, my daughter is 5. She'll be 6 in a few months, so she isn't at the age when most people talk about teaching their daughters modesty. But it's something that's been on my mind since she was four.
When my daughter was four, I had my third child. When I was healed enough to exercise again I started doing a free DVD I had gotten through Special K cereal. The workouts were great. They were challenging and I could feel results, but one thing really bothered me. The title of the DVD was "Get Swimsuit Ready." and throughout the DVD, the instructor tlaks about doing things that will make you look good in your swimsuit, or if you need inspiration, think of your favorite swimsuit and looking great in it. That is a huge demotivater for me, because two months after having my third baby, I sure didn't want to picture myself in a swimsuit, and also, my husband and I have always told out kids that we exercise to be healthy and strong, so we don't hurt our backs when we pick things up and so we can run and play without getting too tired. I would only watch the DVD after my kids were in bed because my daughter remembers everything she hears on a TV and I didn't want the message of "exercise just so you can look good when you hardly have anything on" to stick with her. Eventually, I stopped watching it all together.
Then some kind friends gave my daughter some of their daughter's cloths that she had grown out of. One of them was a halter top dress that plunged VERY low. At first we told her she could only wear it around the house, but then she'd usually change because she said it wasn't very modest. Eventually, when she wasn't looking, I got rid of it and she hasn't missed it.
We also talked about being modest, my daughter and my three year old son will now tell me when they see an immodest woman, weather it be on TV or in person (and they say it very loud). My daughter can tell me exactly how said woman is being immodest, weather it's she's showing her back and her tummy and she needs longer shorts, or she's just in her underwear (they say this all the time in the summer when people go into the store with bikini tops and short shorts).
In many regards, i do feel like we're doing a good job with our kids, teaching them about modesty, and I dress modestly. Or do I?
I always wear sleeves and at least knee length skirts and shorts, but I have fairly long legs, and a ghetto booty that'll make any dress ride up in the back if I'm not careful, so that's something that I need to make sure I watch. I've also noticed that I have a dress, which is very flattering, but ti's a V-neck that crosses at the point of the V and I've found myself constantly having to adjust it to be sure nothing's showing. This has become even more interesting with the things that are enhanced in early pregnancy. I don't want the fact that mommy constantly had to fiddle with her dress to keep herself completely covered to stand out in her mind. Looks like it's time to break out the needle nad thread so I can keep that dress from separating anymore.

I know these things may seem small, but I try to be constantly improving, though it seems like sometimes I'm decreasing in at least one thing. Anyway, as a youth I felt like modestly was easy and I didn't yearn to show off my body or anything. But hen I got to thinking, what if my daughter, and someday maybe daughters don't feel like that when they're in their teens. I guess it helps that my mother was always modest in dress, as well as in actions (i.e. not boastful or puffed up), so I hope that I'm being as good of an example to my daughter. I want her to live a happy, chaste, and virtuous life. To be able to say at any point in her young adulthood, hey, I'm going to marry this wonderful man in the temple and I don't have to go through any serious repentance first! Woo-hoo!

I know the challenges will increase as she gets older, but we're trying to start her off right, so she doesn't view her body as a sexual object, but is happy and confident in who she is.

What NOT to say to a pregnant woman

2012-02-11T13:49:00.002-06:00

I find some of the things people say to pregnant women and new moms to be funny and disturbing. It's mostly funny because people seem to have no clue how rude they're being. Here are some interesting comments I've heard:

First trimester:

"Already?!"
"Again?"
"Wow, you're already starting to show."
"Wow, you guys are just cranking them out!"
"You better go to the doctor, you might lose it." (that was from extended family, and no, we didn't lose the baby, nor come close)

Second trimester:
"Wow, you're due any day now, aren't you?"
"You look like you're about ready to pop!"
"Are the doctors SURE you're not due until then?"

Third trimester:
"You're still pregnant?"
"Are you having twins?"
"Have you had an ultrasound to find out how many babies you're having?"
"I'd be surprised if that baby cam out less than 10 pounds!" (He came out just over 10 pounds, so I felt a little better)
"Wow....you're BIG!"
"You're husband should be carrying your two year old!" But my two year old wanted mommy, and I like holding him!

Postpartum:
"Do you have another one on the way?"

And I'm sure I'll get with this one:
"Wow, you're going to be really pregnant all through the hottest months of the year...and in TEXAS!" So glad to know that others know their seasons and geography.

I am not due until October 2nd (according the the ultrasound I had this week) but I have already gotten the "You're already starting to show!" comment. The ones that have really worn on me in the past are twins, still pregnant, BIG, ready to pop, and being "sure" about the due date. And people say then so often! In my third pregnancy I heard all of those comments at least twice a week. At one point I had had enough and when a large man at church asked me if I was sure I wasn't having twins I asked him how many babies he was having. He just laughed and another man nearby said he was going to have a three year old! It's a good thing that babies are so cute that these comments are quickly forgotten.
I think the most disturbing comment I've heard was at the doctor's office, that even though babies are cute, the difficult deliveries I've had "Just aren't worth it" to have more. I though that was kind of presumptuous, obviously I thought it was worth it or I wouldn't be pregnant again. If anyone knew the value of that pain and misery, it would be me, right? It's sad that so many in the world see having babies as too difficult and inconvenient that the joy of having children is quickly forgotten. By the way, it's still magical even after several children.
So next time you talk to a pregnant woman, keep in mind that she's probably tired of whatever comment you might be about to make, except maybe congratulations and babies are wonderful kind of comments!

UPDATED 2/14/2012 The day after I posted this I got another comment that I couldn't believe. I was talking to a lady that I barely knew during my third pregnancy (from church) and she had brought up the subject of pregnancy and how hard it would be "at [her] age." I will not endeavor to guess what that is, lest I become a hypocrite. But then she turned to me and said
"Yea, and you break out really bad during your pregnancies too."
I asked her to repeat that because I must have heard that wrong, nobody is that insensitive, right? Wrong. She then went on to say "What is it that causes that for you? Someone was telling my what makes that happen to you and I can't remember what it is."
Wait a minute, my husband wouldn't be talking like that, and I know it wasn't me, so not only are you noticing this skin imperfection, but you're talking to other people about it? Not only that but since it's just acne that no doctor has been able to cure since puberty, all you're doing is speculating.
Awkward.
After some other people tried to interject with hormones causing women to break out in pregnancy and the first woman talking more about how it (pregnancy) just messes your body up (trying not to take that personally too) my husband interjected and changed the subject completely, talking long enough that people's minds moved on. My hero. He said he had been trying to think of something sarcastic to point out how rude that comment was, but the only things he could think of were likely too subtle. Then my three year old came in and asked me to help him go potty. Who would have though it'd be so relieving to put someone else on the toilet?

I do wonder about people who make comments like this. What other comments are they making, and to whom? Do they go up to overweight teens on their birthday and say things like "Another year, another chin!" Or do they go around nursing homes with a box of raisins so they can do comparisons? I hope not, but you never know what people will say!

I try not to take these things personally, but they do make me uncomfortable. It is what it is I guess.

I don't understand why they call it morning sickness if it lasts all day!

2012-01-25T16:56:00.001-06:00

As you can likely guess from the title...... I'M PREGNANT! Yay for new babies! My older kids are so excited, they are constantly giving my food (even when I have my own) and telling me that I need to feed my small baby (my 18 month old is my big baby). My three year old keeps putting his hand on my tummy to feel the baby, even though I tell him it's too small to feel right now (I'm due in September) he still insists that he can feel it (I think he only remembers the end of my last pregnancy, when he could feel the baby).
As can be expected at this stage, I have been experiencing "morning sickness" but it lasts all day. I experienced the same thing with my first, but with my second and third I only felt nauseous when I was really hungry or if I smelled tuna fish or barbeque sauce. I kind of figured/hoped that the nausea was only so strong the first time because I wasn't used to the hormone changed and because I was so used to doing more hard core exercise and was then too tired to do much at all. But I am back to the all day nausea and extreme fatigue and just feeling...bleh. The big difference is: with my first, it was only my husband and I, he didn't work as many hours so he could make me toast when I fist woke up to keep the nausea down, I only had a few classes or a few hours of work which were fairly minimal, then I could come home and nap when I needed to.
Now: three kids I get to take care of. Ages 5, 3 and 1. We also homeschool, and my husband works about twice as many hours a week than he did during my first pregnancy. So more responsibility and less adult help. Oy! What's a mommy to do? Here's how I've been handing it to keep nausea down and energy a little higher.

1. Have a bedtime. The kids have their bedtimes, and I enjoy the quiet hours right after they go to bed. I have always been a very big nighttime person, and had trouble with insomnia (except in Basic Training) so this has been a challenge for me. But if I exercise during the day (not very close to bedtime) and don't take a long nap while the kids are sleeping (though any sleep at all is nigh impossible). Even if I haven't gotten everything done that I want to do I have been forcing myself to drop it and get to bed. Even if it takes a while to fall aspeep, just laying down and relaxing helps.

2. Eat when you wake up. A lot of pregnancy books advise keeping crackers on the bedside table, which is a good idea, but I thought they were too dry and crumbly, and they made me want milk, which I can't keep by the bed all night and it just didn't work for me. Now I have kids who get up fairly early so I have to get out of bed no matter how woozy I feel. I have found that eating a banana right when I get up really calms my stomach. Then I get the kids breakfast so no one has a low blood sugar meltdown and I eat something more filling for breakfast. I am impressed by how well this works for me. It's kind of nice.

3. Beans. Small amounts of protein throughout the day help keep morning sickness down, but I've found that beans seem gentler on my tummy than eggs or meat, plus the smell of eggs and meat cooking when I'm pregnant can sometimes turn my stomach, and beans are lower in fat, which is good if you're eating them every few hours. Homemade lentil and cheese burritos are my friend.

4. Gum. I've found that when I'm cooking and don't want to eat right before dinner or something, chewing sugar free minty gum helps make the nausea subside while chewing and for a few minutes after spitting it out. Then I eat and that helps too. This only works sometimes, and maybe once or twice a day, but every little bit helps!

5. Get little helpers. As I mentioned, my husband works a lot of hours, so the only days he can help me out are his day off and Sunday, when he gets up with the kids and makes everyone breakfast. I really appreciate this, and tell him often. When he's not around though, I get up with the kids but I might be feeling drained later in the day. This is where I love having a five year old who loves to be a helper. She helps put laundry away, she can get milk or juice for herself and her oldest younger brother, wipe up spills, things like that. My three year old can put one article of clothing away at a time (more than that and he gets distracted) wipe up a small spill, and pick up toys his little brother has strewn through the house. My one year old can put things in the toy box, or garbage, we have to watch him to make sure he doesn't mix up the two, or throw things into the toilet for good measure (on the rare occasion the bathroom door is open.) This helps me feel less overwhelmed so I can use the energy I have to spend time with those cute little helpers playing and reading and stuff!

6. Do little things throughout the day. I've found that I can no longer do all the dishes, sweeping, wiping the table down and all that after I put the kids to bed, as much as I love waking up to a clean kitchen. So to help with the clean-ish kitchen thing, I do all the dishes in the middle of the day, including cleaning the sink and wiping down the stove top. I've always had to wipe the table down several times a day, but giving it a good scrub somewhere in the middle of the day seems to me more manageable than doing it at the end of the day. When I am no longer feeling yucky, I might go back to the end of the day so everything feels really nice in the morning, but at least the stuff is still all getting done.

7. Stretch. This doesn't help too much with feeling woozy, but it does help with having energy and when you're muscles aren't as tight you do things faster when you have moments of non-nausea.

8. Use the slow cooker. No this doesn't make the nausea go away, though I wish it did, but it does make sure dinner is ready and warm and not burnt, even if your afternoons are really hard. It also makes great soup, which helps settle upset stomachs.

9. Water! Being dehydrated can make you queasy when you're NOT pregnant. When you are, it's even worse. Plus, the baby needs that water, and it will help your circulation too!

These are just a few things I've found that help me function and be an active mom and wife in my family's life.

"Cloth" is Not a Four Letter Word (as in diapers), part 4

2012-01-17T09:00:00.000-06:00

Daily Use and Care

I mentioned some of the daily use and care in part 3, but I thought I'd elaborate a little.
I wash the diapers every day. Most people wash every other day (beyond that and you get a lot of problems with stink and stains), but I wash every day because I don't have enough diapers to last for two!

To further reduce the cost, I hang dry them in our room on a drying rack.

For my wash routine:
1) In the even of a poopy diaper, I just shake the stuff into the toilet, no spraying or dunking here.
2)Every evening when I wash the diapers: dump diaper pail contents into washing machine
3)Put a little water in pail and swish around to get anything out of there, then dump that water in the washing machine (a lot of people have a washable pail liner in a lidded garbage can, which works great, I'm just using what I have)
4) Do a cold rinse to remove poo still on the diapers
5) Do a hot wash with about 1/4 the recommended amount of detergent
6) Do an extra cold rinse, chicking on the agitation to see if there are a lot of bubbles (indicating that I added too much laundry detergent before) and if there are a lot of suds I'll do another rinse.
7) Hand diapers, covers and wipes up to dry on drying rack. In the morning is they're still wet I'll put them in the dryer for a few minutes (NO DRYER SHEETS!) and they're ready to go!

So that's what's been working for us. Sometimes it would be nice to have enough diapers to wash every other day, but we're building up to that and I can use swagbucks to slowly build up a few more.

This is the only picture that's not blurry from him running around, as you can see, the best bottom diapers are very trim for a cloth diaper!

part 1 journey into cloth diapers
part 2 choosing a style and brand
part 3 frugally building up a stash
part 4 daily use and care

"Cloth" is Not a Four Letter Word (as in diapers), part 3

2012-01-16T08:30:00.000-06:00

Frugally Building Up A Stash

Since I used swagbucks I only paid bout $14 for the first four cloth diapers, whereas if I had not used swagbucks it would have been about $50! Figuring that each disposable (of the generic variety) is about $0.19 (at least) and using four cloth diapers a day in replacement of disposables, my purchase paid for itself in about 18 and a half days.

For detergent I got the generic free and clear detergent from Albertson's because every other kind of free and clear had brighteners or enzymes, which can cause rashes (another thing I didn't know the first time around).

For wipes I use the flats, moistened. I have been cutting them into fourths and hand stitching over the loose edges so they don't fray. This size is a little more manageable. On rare occasions, I may use disposable wipes, but only if it's REALLY nasty!

I cleaned it out really well first so it doesn't get residue on the diapers

For a diaper pail I have a bucket for laundry detergent (the regular kind) that has been used up.

My grandma sent us some money for Christmas, and I talked to my husband about building up the rest of our stash with that. He said since it was from my grandma, do whatever I want with it. Don't have to tell me twice. So I went online and bought two more Best Bottom diaper shells and six more inserts (that came to about $57.84 so it will pay for itself in a little over a month and a half). A few days later I had enough from swagbucks to get another bumgenius diaper and some wetbags. If you're wondering what wetbags are, let me explain: When you're out and about with cloth diapers and your little one needs a diaper change, you need somewhere to put said diaper so it doesn't smear diaper contents all over everything else in your diaper bag. And it needs to be water proof so wet diapers don't saturate anything else. Hence the need for a wetbag!

Wetbags

Closed with drawstring closure

closed next to a baby foot

In a pinch, I have also put a folded flat diaper and just laid it in the cover. It does scrunch, but it's better than nothing!

part 1 journey into cloth diapers
part 2 choosing a style and brand
part 3 frugally building up a stash
part 4 daily use and care

"Cloth" is Not a Four Letter Word (as in diapers), part 2

2012-01-14T08:30:00.000-06:00

Choosing a style and brand

Once I started really looking into cloth diapers I started to get overwhelmed. It makes me think of when my daughter was a newborn (she's the oldest grand baby on my side) my parents, uncles and grandma commented several times "Wow, disposables sure have come a long way!" I secretly thought to myself that this was further proof that disposables were better than cloth because cloth was still just flats and prefolds with pins and plastic pants.

How wrong I was.....

Anyone who's looked into the more modern cloth diapers has likely had their head spin from all the choices! Disposables may have come a long way but man, I think cloth has come even farther! There are still flats and prefolds and pins and plastic pants, and I'd seen a friend use a snappi, but there are also pocket diapers, and all in twos and all in ones, and hybrids, and stay dry inserts, and flush-able inserts, and hybrid diapers, and snap closures and hook and loop closures, and sized and one size and.......and.....and....oh it just makes my head spin!
The most economic way to go is still a prefold with a cover, but now they have covers that look more like disposables with either snap or hook and look closure, and a snappi is a stretchy band with hooks on it, kind of like the old ace bandages so you don't have to use pins. I thought about doing that again, and it's a great way to get started, but I also knew that I wouldn't want to stick with it very long since we had done flats before, and I wanted to get something that I wouldn't have to soon replace with something I liked better, if that makes any sense. So I needed something EASY.
All in ones are easy, they're just like a disposable, only you wash them. The downside is that they are hard to get all the way clean, and the take a long time to dry, plus they are the most expensive kind (at least $25 per diaper!). So I kept looking. I needed some thing easy AND affordable AND that would get all the way clean!
Another thing I wanted was something that didn't hold moisture against by baby's skin. All in ones had a ticking feature, but so did many other kinds.
Hybrids don't make any sense to me. It's like a cloth diaper but with a disposable insert instead of cloth. The inserts can get quite pricey, so it didn't make sense as an economical option. Although some people use the term hybrid and all in two interchangeably, it's my understanding that hybrid is meant to mean a combination of disposables and cloth. Though you could say it's a hybrid of prefolds and pockets, but that's really not the point.

So my search led me to either pockets of all in twos. A pocket diaper has a waterproof outside and fleece or suede moisture wicking layer on the inside.

Pocket diaper and insert

Opening

Stuffing the insert into the diaper

Insert in the diaper, I keep the tag in the back so I can grab it to remove the insert and not touch too much yucky stuff.

This pocket opening folds down so the insert doesn't work it's way loose

Ready for a baby!

There is an opening (or pocket) in either the front or back or both for you to slide an absorbent insert. You can customize the absorbency, you take the insert out to wash it so it gets nice an clean and dries in a reasonable amount of time.

All in twos are very similar, but instead of a pocket, and all in two has the moisture wicking part sewn on top of the absorbent part into one insert that lays or snaps into a cover.

All in two insert and cover

You can barely see the snap in the back of the insert.

Snap it in on one end

Then snap in the other end

All it needs now is a baby!

Then you just change the insert during a diaper change, unless it's a tyrannosaurus poopy that gets everywhere, then you wash the shell too.
So you can see how this would save money since you only need a few shells and then lots of inserts. I really like this, but I figured that if I left the baby with my hubby, he would want something that was exactly like a disposable, and if we left him (the baby, not the hubby) with a babysitter, we would definitely need something that did not require much explaining. So I decided on all in twos for most of the time, and pockets for when he's with someone besides me, or when I run out of all in two covers. Possible overnight too, since I can more easily add more absorbent layers, until I get the overnight inserts for the all in twos.

*side note: my husband turned out to like the all-in-twos better, go figure!*

Even narrowing things down that much still left me overwhelmed. But here's how I decided:

All in twos: I knew my baby is a busy active little guy, so the inserts that just lay in might not be the best idea, which means I needed a snap in insert, and I wanted a cover that was wipe-able and could contain messes, despite the fact that he's a little on the skinny side. I came across the Best Bottom Diaper and fell in love. Wipeable cover, easy to snap in, double leg gussets to contain all the mess, works well with skinny babies or chubbier babies, stay dry inserts, really cute covers, one size covers so we can use them whenever we have another baby! Yep, that looks like the one for me.

Really small setting and large setting (it gets even wider but this is what he's on right now)

Double leg gussets to hold in the mess!

Pockets: Again I wanted one size, and I wanted something that was simple to change between sizes, snaps to adjust the size are good (also in the Best Bottoms)...but there are a lot of diapers that meet those criteria, how do I decide? I read lots of reviews and looked at diagrams of the diapers, many of the pockets just have an opening in the back to put the insert into, and many reviews reported that these inserts would work their way up out of the diaper a little on active babies, causing moisture wicking onto their clothes, so I went with the Bumgenius 4.0 pocket diaper. The pocket opening has a little flap that keeps the insert in, it had great reviews, and of the diapers with awesome reviews, it was the most affordable (though still a little hefty in the price tag).

micro-suede folds over to keep insert in

I also knew that I needed to try them out before buying too many, in case they didn't meet my expectations. I used swagbucks for amazon gift cards and a mom4life gift card, plus a coupon code at mom4life to get one best bottom cover and three inserts and one bumgenius pocket diaper (about $50 worth of stuff) for $14!

I'm happy to say that I have not been disappointed! Not only are they cute and contain the messes that disposables didn't always, but my son had been getting diaper rash regularly with disposables, at least once or twice a week. Since we've replaced 4 diapers a day with cloth, he hasn't gotten any diaper rash! Yay for exceeding expectations!

Tip: If you're looking for more information about the Best Bottom diapers and you want to do an internet search of a search on youtube for video reviews, make sure you type "best bottom diaper" not just "best bottom" or you may get something less than family friendly, I with that I didn't know this from experience!

part 1 journey into cloth diapers
part 2 choosing a style and brand
part 3 frugally building up a stash
part 4 daily use and care

"Cloth" is not a four letter word (as in diapers), part 1

2012-01-13T09:00:00.000-06:00

Journey to Cloth Diapering:

It may be nerdy, but I'm the kind of person who perks up and my eyes widen and I may start to salivate when someone mentions a method of truly saving money on necessities! However, when I was pregnant with my first and someone would mention saving money, my interest only peeked until they said those yucky words: cloth diapers! Eww, I don't want to wash poop! I would think. Turns out even mothers of disposable diapered babies wash a fair amount of poop out of their babies' clothes and of the mommy's clothes, babies just explode sometimes! My siblings and I were all cloth diapered and we all survived to adulthood, but the thought of folding and pinning and touching the wet stuff and finagling the plastic pants just did not sound fun to me in any way shape, or form.

Fast forward a few years: my husband had been laid off from a job that provided us with housing, so we moved in with my parents. My husband got another job for a few months and then was laid off from that job too. We had two kids in diapers, we had long since exhausted any emergency fund, and it was almost a month before my husband found work again, then two more weeks before he got paid. So during this time we came to a crossroad, we needed diapers for two kids, for and indeterminate amount of time, and only had $10 to put towards it. So we knew we had to cloth diaper for a while. We had lots of flats that we'd received when my oldest was born to use and burp clothes, and my mom had some extra flats that she hadn't used that she had gotten for the moulage class she teaches, and she donated that to the cause.

A flat cloth diaper, just a square of fabric that you fold and fasten to the baby and then cover with something waterproof.

We just needed pins, diaper covers and something to wash them. It's amazing how hard it is to find cloth diapers sometimes! We found borax, which is what my mom had used when we were babies, though I cringed at spending $3 of our $10 budget! At one store my dad noticed and pointed out that there was a cloth diaper that was just like a disposable, you just wash it. Wow, cool concept, but one diaper was well over our budget. We went for the vinyl pants and diaper pins at babies R us, and I think my parents even had to help us with that. My mom had an old bucket with a lit that she said we could use as a diaper pail and we were ready to go. Diaper changes took a lot longer when we were folding and trying to get it just right, and my little baby boy....something about too much fresh air made a lot of little fountains.
After about a month it really didn't seem that bad to be using cloth, and the whole time my husband helped out and changed cloth diapers, complete with pins, what a trooper. I made sure I did the laundry though, and stayed on top of it. It was still a lot more work to be using cloth and both kids were getting diaper rash. I had been told long before my oldest was born that babies in cloth get more diaper rash. I later learned that sometimes this is due to the moisture against their skin, or soap build up on the diapers.
So when we had steady income for a while we went back to full time disposables. To my surprise, my husband had some hesitation, because he liked not having to fork over an arm and a leg for diapers every week! I saved the cloth diapers when we moved, hoping we would never have to go back to using them. We went through many hard times, but no longer had access to a washer and dryer, and were often doing what laundry we could with our bare hands, and neither my husband nor I wanted to wash cloth diapers by hand. By then we only had one in diapers and were getting a good amount of people donating diapers to us, so we didn't go back to cloth, even after our third baby was born and we were diapering two again. While we were living in our last apartment (with no washer of dryer) I started researching more modern cloth diapers. I needed to find something more convenient and still cost effective. I inwardly told myself that once we had a washer and dryer I would use cloth diapers again to save money. Well I forgot about that when we moved, until a few months later I started researching it again. I had briefly mentioned it to my husband, but for whatever reason, he didn't like the idea. As time went on I would research pocket diapers and leave the info and diagram up when he got on the computer, to which he said "That'd be cool, then it'd be just like a disposable." So I knew that I was on the right track. When I found some pockets on sale I asked him what he thought about buying them and he didn't like the idea of spending over $150 in one big chunk, and didn't think it made much sense to get just one. I asked him what he thought if I could get them for free or almost free, with swagbucks, and he gave a non-commital head nod/bob. So I started my money-saving mission to get free or almost free diapers. I researched and read and did all I could to use swagbucks, and eventually talked him into trying it, as long as we started small and didn't spend much more than $20 right out the gate.
I got a best bottom cover and three inserts and one bum genius pocket diaper with swagbucks and started using those during and day and doing a load every day after the baby had gone through those.

By the way, remember those rashed my kids had been getting? I "stripped" the flat diapers, meaning I did a hot wash without adding any soap, and even after two years there were suds from detergent residue like you wouldn't believe! Oops.

part 1 journey into cloth diapers
part 2 choosing a style and brand
part 3 frugally building up a stash
part 4 daily use and care

Snacks for a Crowd

2012-01-12T12:20:00.000-06:00

When we can find someone who can stand to spend time with us, we like to feed them. Usually it's dinner or something, but we also have people over between meals sometimes and it's nice to have a little snack with them. Here are a few ideas for things that aren't too expensive:

Popcorn (popcorn balls or just with a little butter and a sprinkle of salt)
Homemade Granola Bars
Banana Bread
Peanut butter hearts (if there are no allergies), this is great for kids, you just take a piece of brad, smear peanut butter on it like you would if you were making a sandwich, and then make a heart shape in the peanut butter with the tip of the spreading knife!
Fruit (apples cut into slices, clementines (make sure no one chokes!), grapes, watermelon. etc.
No Bake Cookies
Peach Cobbler
Chocolate Lentil Cake
Zucchini Bread
Zucchini Cookies (remember, you can replace the fat with cooked pureed beans!)

These are also the snacks that I sometimes feed my kids between meals, though I may have to have even more filling things when they are all teenagers (if they're like I was when I was a teenager I may have to make hamburgers between meals, but I digress)

This is linked to the four moms linky for feeding a crowd at Smockity Frocks!

First Aid: A homemaking Skill to Learn BEFORE becoming a homemaker!

2012-01-03T11:51:00.000-06:00

This morning, after breakfast, my two older kids were still hungry. So we decided to have some clementines, or baby oranges as they call them, or satsumas as I called them as a kid. Whatever they are, we were eating them and my three year old started to cough and gag. He coughed up the piece of orange and said he was okay. A minute of two later he coughed, and then it turned to a quiet almost gasping sound that I knew right away meant that he was fully choking! I firmly patted his back to try to loosen it up, but it was in there too tight and he was turning a disturbing dark red color, so I did the Heimlich maneuver. In case you're wondering, with small children you only use one hand because two could hurt them. It took about three thrusts before the orange piece came loose and he threw up a little bit. He felt kind of yucky for a while after that so I gave him a hug and let him puddle up in a blanket and watch a movie. I realized after the fact that I had scattered my own orange peels when rushing to him, and a few minutes ago I realized that I had been telling my daughter a story and never finished it. I'm so thankful my little man is okay!
I thought about it later on and wonder what would I have done if I didn't know that basics of first aid? A lot of things about being a mother I have learned as I go and as needed, but this wasn't one of those times! I had to know not only what to do but what modifications to make for a small child. I'm so thankful that I had so much first aid training growing up and that I really got to practice the child and infant modifications on practice dummies in firefighter school. I don't want to think about what would have happened is I hadn't known what to do or if I had panicked and not done anything despite my knowledge. So, if you're wanting to add a homemaking skill or start somewhere, first aid, especially the Heimlich maneuver may be the best place to start!

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T00:13:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year! I've never been much of a new years resolution kind of gal, but I am a set goals and stick to them kind of gal. I have set some goals for myself in the past week or two, so I guess you could call those resolutions, but I didn't set them because it's a new year, I set them because I want to be a little healthier and more energetic.

Goal #1: No candy, sweets, cookies, or other sugary goodness EXCEPT family home evening (once a week) and birthdays. (since we have two birthdays on the same day does that mean I should have twice the cake and ice cream? ......Probably not.)

Goal #2: Be in bed, fully ready to hopefully fall asleep by 11 p.m. every night. Tonight doesn't count because it's New Years. I have always been a real night owl, and when I do go to bed I have a hard time falling asleep. Although in Basic Training I managed to be in bed by 9 every night and fall asleep very quickly, go figure, of course I was up at some point for an hour for guard duty and then up for the day at 4:30 and doing physical stuff all... day... long. But I'm drifting from the point. Anyway, I need to get to be earlier to try to get my body to fall asleep at a decent hour.

That's it. Two small goals that I think will greatly help be have energy to tackle the bigger goals of things like organizing and doing more varied activities with the kiddos.

Cheap or Free Dates

2011-12-30T21:49:00.001-06:00

As a college student, everyone I knew would diligently seek out cheap or free dates, when my husband and I got married, we continued that trend. However, nine months and one week after we got married, the entire aspect of dating shifted. Yes, that's when our first child was born. At first we'd just take her with us. She was small and portable and was perfectly content to be held all the time. As she got bigger, this got more and more difficult, and we couldn't just go out as easily anymore. Luckily, many of the cheap dates we'd done before could be done at home. We still go out together, but have also found ways to still spend time together at home. Here are a few ideas:

-board games with just the two of you or another couple
-make something. When my husband worked construction he'd sometimes bring home some of the scrap lumber that would have been in the trash (he asked his boss first) and we used it to make signs for our house, or a little bookshelf and we'd sand, paint and finish it together. It was a lot of fun!
-watch a movie
-make a treat
-do laundry by hand. Okay, this wasn't the most exciting date, but we didn't have money to go to the laundry mat and we had a lot of laundry so we did it together in the bathtub, and since that was such a great workout, we'd do things like sit ups and jumping jacks while the water was draining. What a workout!
-picnic

Out of the house ideas:
Finding a babysitter
-find a free babysitter. In our last ward (congregation) we knew a lady whose children were all grown up and grandchildren we really far away and she LOVES kids, so she not only watched our kids for free, but if it had been a while she would find us a church and ask how soon she could babysit them. I guess it helps to teach your kids manners and respect so people WANT to watch them!
-exchange babysitting, there are lots of families with kids that would be more than willing to watch your kids one week so you could watch theirs the next. Talk to friends, especially if they have children close to your children's age(s) because then they all entertain themselves and it's a lot less work!
-grandparents (we used sparingly when we lived with them since they were already helping us so much, but if you don't like with them, they would likely love the chance to spoil their grand-babies!)

Cheap or free activities:
-temple
-coupons in phone book and other places. You can find a lot of buy one get one free deals to things like miniature golf, rock climbing, go kart racing, and other fun things that are easier (and cheaper) with just the two of you
-window shop. This can be fun shortly before birthdays, Christmas, Mother's/Father's Day, anniversary or any other time when you need an idea of what kind of present your spouse likes. Plus it sometimes leads to interesting conversations.
-free samples. Costco is the best one for this, if you go at lunch time, but other large stores like Walmart and some grocery stores will have several free samples, and it's fun to walk around and see what they have and get some food that you likely wouldn't pay money for.
-drive in the country. This may not be fun for everyone, but my husband and I were raised in rural areas, and living in a big metropolitan area has us feeling claustrophobic and busting at the seams! It's nice to escape that every once in a while, plus we like to see if there are areas that we'd like to live whenever we buy a house. It's good to share a dream with your spouse.
-walk around mall and laugh at novelty t-shirts and all the bogus stuff they have there. We only do this on rare occasions because we're not big on malls (too expensive!) but it can be really fun when you don't spend money!
-cannery. It's not only good for food storage, it's fun to see each other in hair nets! Plus the long drive gives us lots of time to talk.
-walk or hike. There aren't too many uphill hikes around here (go figure) but there are a lot of trails and outdoor areas that are fun to go for a nice long walk in!

What other free or cheap dates do you do with your spouse?

Strong Willed Blessings!

2011-12-22T22:34:00.005-06:00

In the April 2011 General Conference, Lynn G. Robins gave a talk entitled "What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye to Be?" This talk stood out to me, particularly this part:

A sweet and obedient child will enroll a father or mother only in Parenting 101. If you are blessed with a child who tests your patience to the nth degree, you will be enrolled in Parenting 505. Rather than wonder what you might have done wrong in the premortal life to be so deserving, you might consider the more challenging child a blessing and opportunity to become more godlike yourself. With which child will your patience, long-suffering, and other Christlike virtues most likely be tested, developed, and refined? Could it be possible that you need this child as much as this child needs you?
(emphasis mine)

Apparently he had met my oldest son and decided to give me advice on him in a worldwide broadcast! Maybe not really, but that's what it felt like. I hadn't regarded this talk in several months, only fully remembering the parenting 505 part, and the other day I really started pondering myself and my relationship with my oldest son. He is incredibly smart and creative and funny and sometimes very sweet, but he's also the one who has shown me my boundaries time and time again. So after a particularly frustrating day I looked up that talk and I had totally forgotten the part about a difficult child being a blessing. It's hard to remember that in the midst of crying and tantrums.
I have been pondering on when he was born. The first few days home from the hospital the whole atmosphere of our apartment was different. It seemed so much more peaceful, and I could just tell that this baby was so special and I was so thankful to have him in our family. Even during the insanely late nights I had with him I would look him in the eyes and tell him I loved him and I was so happy he was my baby. It really made me question myself. Do I still tell him how happy I am that he's in out family? I tell him I love him every day and give kisses and hugs and all, but I also get frustrated and have raised my voice to him during the super mega biblical meltdowns. So I say I love him, then yell, what message am I really sending? Last week I made a resolve to not raise my voice or react based solely on my emotional response. It's been and major uphill battle, but I'm starting to feel a difference in myself. The other night, I noticed a difference in him. Even when he was tired, he didn't have a major meltdown or throw a fit when he needed some help, he just asked for help. I helped him and told him he did a good job asking so nicely. Whenever I tell him he did a good job he says "You're Welcome!" I don't correct him because it's cute.
Before I had kids, when people told me parenting was hard, I thought they meant the sleep deprivation and a fussy little baby. I didn't fret too much because between the military, early morning seminary, and late night college study sessions, I figured I could handle anything that involved lost sleep. I knew toddlers threw fits, but I had never witnessed the tyrannosaurus of tantrums, nor been so emotionally involved in such a spirited child. I didn't know I'd feel so confident with one and then feel like I had no idea what I was doing with my second.
A few nights ago, after my oldest fell asleep, I could hear my three year old tapping on his bed frame, one of the things he does when he can't fall asleep (hey, he's just like me!) so I went in and told him that I was sorry for all the times I yelled or made him think I was mad or hurt his feelings. I then told him that I was trying really hard to be nicer. He just nodded. I asked him if he could try a little bit more to listen to mom and dad and he said all right and gave me a big hug and kiss. I really love that kid.
Things are far from perfect, but I for one have felt frustration come on a little slower and have remembered to keep my head and remind myself to not let his actions, no matter how irritating, get me angry. I'm still not letting him get away with bad behavior, but taking things a little less personally. I used to think that was just common sense, but it's a lot less common when you have a very strong willed child and have other stresses in your life.
Anyway, so that's the story of my efforts to be a better mother to the blessing of a more strong willed than normal toddler (I teach nursery at church so I know what strong willed kids are like!).

It's wonderful to take the time to really enjoy your children! That's what I've been trying to increase doing!

I am "Super Cook"!

2011-12-21T23:08:00.000-06:00

I found a website today called supercook.com where you can enter the ingredients you have on hand and it will give you a large list of recipes that you have the ingredients to make! I got this recipe for southwestern chicken from it today. Normally I'm very skeptical about southwestern style things because they end up being too spicy for me and too spicy for the kids. This one though had a nice blend of flavors! I did notice that a lot of juice came off while cooking, so when it was all done I took the chicken out of the pan, added some flour tot eh extra liquid, and whipped that up for a few minutes to make a bit of a sauce. Then I heated the chicken in the microwave for a few seconds so they wouldn't be cold, and poured the sauce over it. To go with it I cooked some brown rice in the slow cooker with a teaspoon or two of low sodium taco seasoning a few shakes of cumin, and a healthy sprinkle of dried minced onions. When it was all cooked I added some corn and about half a can of black beans (I drained and rinsed them first). The rice had a really mild flavor, which was good because it didn't overpower the chicken, and also didn't drown it in blandness. I've noticed more and more that I don't measure very often. I just add until it looks about right and smell it after a few minutes of cooking. Some things flop but this went rather well. My usually VERY picky three year old asked for seconds and told me several times that he likes chicken!

This was also a good opportunity to use what we have on hand. The rice was part of our food storage (obviously not from the cannery since they don't have brown rice) The corn and chicken were part of our frozen food, the beans had been canned but I used half of the can in another recipe a while back so I froze the rest to use another day so that worked out great, and I always have those spices on hand! Not to mention that it was pretty healthy. I used a little less salt than the recipe calls for in the chicken, though it doesn't call for much. With the holidays going on we've recently been eating food that had been way too unhealthy for us! My husband even got sick this weekend from eating (someone else's) turkey deep fried in lard (though he was raised with old fashioned fatty food, he's gotten used to the reduced sodium, whole grain goodness that I usually make!) So we were all glad to be eating high fiber, low sodium and low fat stuff again! Who knew such healthy food would be so welcome!

Just thinking of all the lard that must have been involved in deep frying that turkey, I can feel my arteries clogging!

They guy who made the turkey insisted that it wasn't bad because it was a natural fat and not hydrogenated oil. To me.....fat is still fat, you don't need that much! I prefer to bake my turkey!

Large Family Minimalism

2011-12-02T16:51:00.000-06:00

At heart, I am in many ways a minimalist. maybe not as extreme as many people are, but I do like and uncluttered house, very few decorations (only ones I love, and most of which are wall mounted family pictures), but lately I have felt like I very much have fallen behind. And it's true, the more I evaluate myself, the more I see my laziness has crept in and I'm having a hard time purging all those extra papers and my one year old likes to scatter everything he can find all over the house, and it gets very overwhelming. So the past few days I've been working on doing a little more picking up and purging, but it only goes so far. So I started researching minimalism with a large family. I found a lot more that I expected! Most forums recommend a certain number of things per child, which makes sense, there's a lot about how few things you need for a baby, which I think we did a pretty decent job with our third, especially since he was the fifth person in our 600 square foot apartment, so we had to keep baby stuff to a minimum (pack and play, bassinet, car seat, blankets, sleepers, onesies, diapers and wipes, that's about it), and there's also a lot of advice to do things like get out and enjoy nature, something I love to do, and wish I still lived o close to a myriad of hiking trails, but we go for walks and whenever we visit family we spend some time walking around the country side. My hubby and I really want to move to the country so our kids can experience being outdoors a lot without being so near to so much pollution, just like we had when we were kids.
I think the best thing I found was from zen family habits. The author of this blog has 6 kids, so I give him some credibility on this issue. One thing he says is:

"Minimalism is counter-productive if you become obsessive, and become a clutter-Nazi. We become minimalist so we can remove the extraneous, and focus only on the important. The kids are what’s important — not the lack of clutter, or having the simplest lifestyle. Always remember that. And then, breathe. Relax. Let go of your frustrations, your expectations, your desires for perfection, and instead adopt a minimalist attitude: of going with the flow, of living in the moment, of enjoying your kids and experiences rather than things. Being a parent can be frustrating, if you let it, or it can be fun, if you learn patience and adopt this relaxed attitude."
source

He wrote that for me, I swear he did! When I had one child I personally think I was great at going with the flow and enjoying her. Then again, the house always seemed to be in total disarray! It's amazing how much balance is needed in life! After I read that I put the computer down and watched my one year old walk around the house with his tongue sticking out as he bounced and made little grunting singing sounds. Then I noticed my three year old throwing ANOTHER fit over nothing and I was starting to get annoyed when I suddenly realized that I needed to go to my fix all method: I asked him "Do you need a hug?" He's feisty so often he'll say no or just scowl at me when i ask him, but this time he just nodded with a big sad frown on his face and climbed into my lap and I just held him while he told me how upset he was that his sister was playing with a toy when he walked into the room and decided he wanted to play with it. I just rubbed his back and told him it was okay. Life's so hard when you're three. I try to do this whenever I notice a meltdown, but it's so easy to get caught up in how big a deal they're making over nothing, or how they ruined something or made another huge mess (happens a lot around here). We need to relax and be at peace or else it won't matter how much stuff we have or don't have, or how clean out house is or isn't, or anything else, and our kids won't be as happy if they're reading our negativity (stop sending out bad vibes, man!)

Basically, minimalize, but also relax and go with the flow!

Thinking About Christmas

2011-11-25T14:05:00.000-06:00

A few days ago I went to Walmart. If you've never been to Walmart after Halloween it is packed full of Christmas trees, lights, inflatable santas, wreaths, stockings, clothes that you only wear around Christmas because they have a big Christmas tree on them, Christmasy sugary goodness, gift wrappings, and toys galore! I enjoy Christmas decor, and there's nothing wrong with it, but I was there to look at nativity sets. The only ones they had were in a hard to find back corner with only a few sets, and most of them didn't have shepherds, but they did have wise men. It emphasized to me again that, as parents, my husband and I need to be the ones teaching our kids that the story of Christ's birth is the most important aspect of Christmas, because the world will only tuck that park in a back corner and probably won't give all the details.

Pizza Sauce

2011-11-14T23:44:00.001-06:00

A while back, I posted about the worlds best spaghetti sauce. I've tried it on pizza too but it never quite seemed to fit. On Sunday, my husband's cousin was in town and we decided to make pizza. I didn't know what modifications to make to the spaghetti sauce so I figured I'd make it regular and just go with it. Then I discovered that we were almost out of beef and we were completely out of beef bouillon. So I did a half pound of beef and no bouillon, an since I was spreading it I didn't add corn starch either, and while I was at it I tweaked a few other ingredients too. It came out BEAUTIFULLY! We put barbeque sauce and cheddar cheese on it to make a hamburger pizza and it was a huge hit. I felt so accomplished! Here's the recipe for the pizza sauce:

1/2 Lb. ground beef
1 (15 oz) can tomato sauce
1 (12 oz.) can tomato soup
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1 Tbs. onion powder
1 Tbs. parsley
1/2 Tbs. brown sugar
1 tsp. oregano
1 tsp. basil
1/4 tsp. black pepper

ENJOY!